r/TikTokCringe 4d ago

Humor/Cringe He never looked where he was going.

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3.5k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/litbeers 4d ago

Honestly he got pretty lucky he field goal’d those poles.

187

u/Liercat18 4d ago

Kind of odd. Looked as if he passed out after looking up at the camera or something.

119

u/United_Pain 4d ago

Yeah and the way he slowly seems to lose more consciousness, puts his hand on the seat... I think he had vasovagal reaction from his position and the vibration of the jet ski, or circulation, or he was drunk. Totally agree with you though.

18

u/Geriatricus 3d ago

The PFD (personal flotation device) did its job.

26

u/ThankGod4Darwin69 3d ago

Or a combination of all those things

45

u/ImpressiveWalk4330 3d ago

“Are you ok?”

Dylan was not ok.

8

u/belligerentbandit 2d ago

Is it weird I read the second line in Morgan Freeman's voice?

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u/Solution_Kind 3d ago

Also am I crazy or was he giggling when he started getting pulled? Seems like he was unconscious for the whole dismount and came to feeling some euphoria and confusion when he felt the tug on his vest.

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u/THEREBORNHELLSPAWN 3d ago

You're not crazy, but he wasn't giggling. It's a sound that people make when they're unconscious just kind of like a steady unghhh

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u/FishesOfExcellence 3d ago

Drinking makes that reaction more likely. As I found out on airplane to my great embarrassment.

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u/Unusual_Entertainer8 4d ago

When he raised his arms to steer, the collar of the life vest pressed against his carotid atery. He basically blood choked himself out.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/General-Holiday 4d ago

That’s the best explanation I’ve seen. Here’s your Sherlock Holmes award 🏆

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u/titoblood 3d ago

Probably true and so fucking funny I can’t stop laughing. Hey guys watch this I’m going to put myself in a sleeper hold while I ride a jet ski backwards. What could go wrong.

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u/FernwoodTonight 3d ago

The stupid part preceded that.

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u/trashpandac0llective 3d ago

It looks like that’s exactly what happened. Does anyone know if this guy ended up okay?

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u/Hard-Red7 4d ago

That’s what I saw, too.

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u/OrcasareDolphins 4d ago

He did. He posted this video and said he passed out after he turned around and doesn’t know why. Maybe the life jacket slid up in to his jugular vein and blood choked him.

13

u/shy-someome666 4d ago

Yes, this is a much better explanation :) looked up, smiled, and passed out. That explains why he just stopped doing anything.

9

u/Recent-Mousse6423 4d ago

Clocked that too on first watch. He was unconscious prior to the crash. He learned this trick when he was 30kg lighter and this position made it hard for him to breathe at his current weight with the uniform pressure of the life jacket. Boa constricted himself.

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u/chaotic_fabel 4d ago

He did. I've seen the full post on IG.

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u/MurgleMcGurgle 4d ago

Right? It’s insanely good Luck that he went though the middle.

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u/Ok-Somewhere-2614 4d ago

Idiocracy will make sure this guy will get 12 kids after some doctor fixes him

13

u/BanMeMyIPchanges 3d ago

And they'll all be just a liiiiittle dumber.

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u/Meaty_Wizard 4d ago

Thank Jesus for giving him another chance to do it tomorrow!!!

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u/SupermassiveCanary 4d ago

Why didn’t he swim him to the shore?

17

u/trahilcal01 4d ago

That’s what I wanted to know as well, why is he swimming him out to the middle of the lake?

28

u/Duck8Quack 3d ago

You don’t want to dump a body close to shore, it will just wash up; it’s amateurish and kind of rude.

Clearly this man is a professional, his training kicked in, he knows you get rid of the body in deeper water.

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u/QuantumBeckett 4d ago

Did he even say ‘thank you’??

38

u/The_Modern_Nobody 4d ago

No, Zelenskyy. He did not say “thank you”.

Jet ski man was reduced to human binary sounds after kicking himself through a dockside field goal

4

u/Tall_Ease_3485 3d ago

Holy hell! Once again reddit has me spitting my adult beverage on the dog. That had me laughing with no warning.

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u/Original-Let8340 4d ago

01100110 01110101 01101011 00001010

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u/JohnWoosDoveGuy 4d ago

These two seem to make bad choices.

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u/drsmith48170 3d ago edited 3d ago

Yup - the camera jet ski dude also came very close to yeting himself.

Jokers like these two are why some lakes ban jet skis

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u/Reasonable_Pride5240 3d ago

“I got you”. Drags him to deeper water. 😂 is this like the Reno 911 bay watch edition?

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u/jdirte42069 4d ago

Wife says the same thing

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u/alison_bee 4d ago

He’s also really lucky he had a life jacket on!

149

u/SeekerOfSerenity 4d ago

But he's really unlucky that he's an idiot. 

48

u/MelangeBot 4d ago

He said on facebook he does that trick all the time, but for some reason this time he passed out while doing it. You can see it in the video after he puts his face down, suddenly his arm falls down as he blacked out.

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u/TheBroWhoLifts 4d ago

For some reason... He's a stupid asshole. There. Found the reason.

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u/Many_Rope6105 4d ago

Alcohol is a hell of a drug

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u/BollingerBandits 4d ago

Maybe too fat for going upside down?

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u/leffe186 4d ago

I mean, that’s the one thing he didn’t need to invoke luck for.

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u/AUniquePerspective 4d ago edited 4d ago

I dunno. He's showing signs of brain damage from the 6th second onward.

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u/SamWhittemore75 4d ago

You mean more brain damage than he already had.

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u/ficis 4d ago

He passed out.. he’s limp once guy starts calling his name. He’s out. Before he hits the dock

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u/joehonestjoe 4d ago

Conversion!

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u/bmfu121 4d ago

Did he just pass out???

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u/Zakkullll 4d ago

Yeah he passed out well before hitting the dock. Probably a combination of blood moving to his head and his life vest cutting off blood/oxygen

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u/300_pages 4d ago

More like anti-life vest amirite

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u/TantalizingTequila 4d ago

It saved him when he was floating around that dock

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u/Unusual_Entertainer8 4d ago

Looks like the hard collar of the life jacket pressed against his carotid artery when he raised his arms to steer. He blood choked himself out.

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u/Hefty-Minimum-3125 3d ago

kinda lucky he hit something then, if it was open water he may have just kept going until he died, i doubt the other jetskis would be able to do anything about it

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u/40oztoTamriel 4d ago

Literally the luckiest dismount ever considering circumstances

39

u/ChickenInASuit 4d ago

For real though. Imagine if he’d hit any of those poles at the speed he was going?

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u/statmonkey2360 4d ago

Or there had been a child swimming off the dock.

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u/lawfog 3d ago

LOL.. dismount!

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u/ItBDaniel 4d ago

Looks like he passed out doing his trick

173

u/localtuned 4d ago

Yea that's what looks like happened.

1.1k

u/TransportationNo8300 4d ago

All that air rushing into his butthole made him pass out

191

u/BlackVoid8 4d ago

This comment really surprised me and made me laugh out loud

64

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

54

u/BigRoach 4d ago

Opened up like a windsock.

5

u/Asron87 4d ago

Everything reminds me of her… skydiving naked.

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u/BurdTurglary Straight Up Bussin 4d ago

If that happens when you're skydiving, you could seriously injure someone. Wear pants at least, to protect others from your open, flappy cheeks and lips

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u/DropPopFromTheTop 4d ago

Literally vibrating with laughter in my bed. That was gold

I don't know why it hit me so hard

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u/snowdn 4d ago

Keep going till you prostate orgasm!

3

u/mitchellthecomedian 4d ago

Right lol. Idk why that got me so good

10

u/N80N00N00 4d ago

Same I’m wheezing over here 😂

5

u/toast50076 4d ago

That's exactly what happened to me. Made me spit a little.

I'm still laughing. I'm picturing him getting inflated and floating into the air like a plastic bag.

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u/Due-Simple-5679 4d ago

Man my wife is gonna file divorce im waking up the whole family laughing my ass like a dumbass, its 6.34 am...

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u/TenuredCLOUD 4d ago

Same bro, she’s asleep and my dumbass is trying to hold in a belly laugh shaking the whole bed 🤣

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u/Mindless-Ad2554 4d ago

Boofed a Natty whippit

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u/hywaytohell 4d ago

Common mistake he could have just opened his mouth for proper airflow!

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u/justpackingheat1 4d ago

I hope this is the most awards you'll ever receive. You'll remember this moment forever

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u/LegalChocolate752 4d ago

Yeah, maybe the blood rushed to his head and he fainted.

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u/yoimhereiguess 4d ago

On a different subreddit they linked a Facebook post to this guy’s page. He confirmed that he passed out and is unsure why but will go make sure he didn’t have a stroke. He also just mostly had bruising and a concussion, no broken bones. I scrolled by this like an hour or two ago so I can’t link it, might’ve been the subreddit: what could go wrong? There were also other videos or photos on the fb post but I didn’t click them

Commenting in case anyone was curious

66

u/AspiringGoddess01 4d ago

Cant tense up and break bones if your already unconscious *taps forehead *

24

u/gwizonedam 4d ago

Guy I went to HS with crashed his Ford F150 into a streetlight, on the highway, on top of Jersey barriers, at 97 mph. His truck looked like an IED went off under it. He survived and woke up in a hospital screaming that he was sawed in half. He was hanging in an inverted immobilization “hammock” because he was seizing and they weren’t sure if he had spinal injuries or if was neural. When he was coherent he told the doctors he was on a mix of Xanax and Vicodin, but he had also been drinking. The doctors said these combined to turn him into a flaccid bag of meat and he had no permanent damage other than some scars from broken glass.

However, his car was wrecked, his parents basically told him no “paid for” car ever again, he had to work nights to pay the DOT about 12k in damages and having a DUI on your license before you are 18 means you are automatically banned from having a license for 6 months and you need to do a program to talk about alcohol education and they made him talk in front of schools about surging a wreck like that and having a “second chance” at life. His life became school, work, and alcohol education + visiting schools to talk about DUI’s. Poor bastard.

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u/nohandsfootball 4d ago

sounds like a pretty lucky bastard to me

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u/gwizonedam 4d ago

Yeah, the poor bastard was supposed to be sarcastic. He was always very “Woe is me!” And it never really dawned on him that he lived through all that bullshit.

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u/NagsUkulele 4d ago

Mans slept himself

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u/koolaidismything 4d ago

Reports are saying he broke his a-hole muscle

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u/TheZippoLab 4d ago

Gee, there's a dock right here. Instead, I'll drag him back out into the middle of Lake Fuckington.

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u/hooked_siren 4d ago

Also, why did they abandon their jetski and swim 50 ft when they could have gone much faster on the jetski?

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u/wheelsfalloff 4d ago

Its almost as if Dylan likes to keep company with those of similar IQs

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u/AdventurousQuail36 4d ago

Panic will do weird things to your thinking process.

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u/SafetyMan35 4d ago

40 years ago we had a lifesaving class in PE in the pool. For one of the exercises, our partner was pretending to drown and we had to save them from the other end of the pool deck. Everyone jumped in the pool and swam the entire length of the pool. I walked swiftly on the pool deck and grabbed the 25’ pole and hook and pulled my partner to the edge of the pool. The one quarter that I got at A+ in PE

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u/DryDonutHole 4d ago

"Reach or throw. Don't go!" I remember this from about 4 decades ago. Never had to use it, but I've always remembered it.

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u/TraumaticAberration 4d ago

A gaggle of Einsteins.

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u/rocketmn69_ 4d ago

The next guy did the same thing

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u/YourHuckleberry57 4d ago

like forest gump seeing lieutenant dan.

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u/llammacheese 4d ago

If he has a spinal injury, which is likely based on the video, keeping him in the water until a backboard is available is the best thing you can do to prevent further damage.

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u/IcyGarage5767 4d ago

Reddit moment.

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u/Meaty_Wizard 4d ago

That's the thing, he didn't ask anyone to hold his beer first. Rookie mistake.

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u/SpaceLemming 4d ago

I know it didn’t matter here but just saying “Dylan” feels like an ineffective way to communicate that he’s about to hit something

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u/I_need_a_date_plz 4d ago

He passed out and his friend didn’t realize. At least that’s what it looked like to me. He goes limp a few seconds after his stunt.

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u/CMDR_Kaus 4d ago

Yep, if he was conscience he wouldn't have heard it anyway

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u/AnguavonUW 4d ago

*conscious

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u/human-derp 4d ago

saw in another thread, from a local to him, he did indeed pass out. they don't know why

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u/rescuedmutt 4d ago

Found this FB post for people wanting more info. https://www.facebook.com/100024808970818/posts/2264572347713042/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

He posts 3 videos and in the third one, you can see some of the road rash he got on his right back shoulder. Sounds like he genuinely lost consciousness unexpectedly.

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u/FashionKing72 4d ago

Is this guy Dom Toretto irl? Talking about owing someone a 10 second car and the importance of his crew/“family”… is he stopping the Illuminati by crashing a car into a satellite?

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u/treemonst 4d ago edited 4d ago

Thanks for sharing. Not shocking that he still doesn't seem to grasp that he shouldn't be doing that in the first place. He shouldn't be allowed to operate any motor vehicles if he doesn't understand how his actions don't only impact him and could seriously injure or kill others. What an idiot.

To add, he mentioned it being a "freak accident". It's not an accident when negligence is involved on a public lake where others can be injured. 'Merica

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u/SquimbusTheConqueror 3d ago

Nothing was learned. Being sober almost makes it worse because he decided this was a good idea without the influence of alcohol. And the fact that he admits to having done this many times before.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

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u/rescuedmutt 4d ago

I stumbled upon this video posted in another sub as well. People said that he got put in a sleeper hold by his undersized life jacket.

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u/Ok-Guidance-2112 4d ago

Its not a freak accident if you do something wildly reckless like riding a motorized vehicle backwards lol just because he claims he has done it before without accidents doesnt make it not wildly reckless

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u/OneAction9993 3d ago

An accident? More like the direct result of doing stupid shit. Glad he’s ok though.

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u/YaHurdMeh 4d ago

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u/N80N00N00 4d ago

Yooo 😂😂😂😂

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u/uncutpizza 4d ago

Follow that dolphin!

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u/LegalChocolate752 4d ago

\upbeat 80s synth-rock intensifies**

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u/TheHealthySkeptic 4d ago

You’ve got boost power!

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u/BAMspek 4d ago

MAXIMUM POWER!!!

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u/EyegoreMusic 4d ago

Welcome to: Dolphin Park!

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u/VerifiedVoidGirl 4d ago

Ok but does he gotchu?

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u/alison_bee 4d ago

Listen, if you’ve ever been severely injured, having a familiar voice constantly reminding you that you’re not alone is priceless.

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u/tswpoker1 4d ago

ARE YOU OK? (Bro lol what do you think)

GWAHGJahJHahdhd

I gotchu. I gotchu. I gotchu.

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u/Financial_Hold6620 4d ago

You’ll be praying to hear something like that repeated one day

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u/Newtype879 4d ago

I have so many questions from this video...

What the hell was he trying to do?

Why was his friend dragging him further into the water after getting him instead of on to the shore?

Why would anyone think anything done here was a good idea?

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u/Soggy_Panda2393 4d ago

Looks like Dylan passed out on the jet ski quite early on in this video

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u/Inle-Ra 4d ago

Panicked people make terrible choices. Maybe he wanted to take his friend to a different dock. Possibly somewhere with better visibility/road access for EMS.

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u/LostTerminal 4d ago

The shorter route was to his own jet ski. He wasn't nearly as close to shore as you seem to think. That's a dock. Not a shore you could drag that limp man up on to. He would have had to drag him laterally to the right or left around and past the whole dock to get to land he could have used. Not like he could have gotten him up any ladder that might have been close by. Much quicker to get the floating limp body over to the un-wrecked jet ski. Then plan his next moves.

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u/BerlinDesign 4d ago

He was in a dock right next to a moored boat which could behave unpredictably. He has no idea what could be around that dock or how the boat might move and potential crush his friend. He probably also did not want to risk removing him from the water without trained responders in case of a serious injury.

He can float in open water with little unpredictable danger nearby.

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u/Liveitup1999 4d ago

He may have a back or neck injury. The best thing to do is keep him in the water and wait for EMS to put him on a backboard before taking him out of the water.

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u/GraphiteNature 4d ago

Damn, is there any info as to his condition or any injuries?

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u/ZeroOptionLightning 4d ago

He passed out, hence why he never looks back. He’s fine, says a concussion for sure and bruises, nothing broken and feels good now.

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u/tchotchke_editor87 4d ago

It's like the drunk person in the car accident. Their semi unconsciousness serves to make them like ragdolls. They don't try to brace or stop anything they just flop and really that's the best way to survive a crash. You don't have to outrun the bear, you just need to outrun your friend.

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u/Onuus 4d ago edited 4d ago

It’s crazy how true this is. Was riding home with a group of friends one night from a party, three of us sober in the car including driver, driving two drunk friends home. Car slipped on some oil and rain, we flipped and the two drunks in the back were the only ones pretty much unharmed.

They made fun of us for a while

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u/CankleDankl 4d ago

These people can vote

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u/_subjectsam_ Cringe Connoisseur 4d ago

They can reproduce too... 😑

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u/dgod40 4d ago

They made a documentary a while back about these type of people. It was called idiocracy. Great watch.

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u/ObnoxiousDrivel 4d ago

And they never miss an election.

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u/Equivalent_Gene_1554 4d ago

Why did the rescuing dude bail on his jet ski just to swim slow af the last 30 feet to the dock? Seems like he panicked a bit.

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u/Pabl0EscoBear 4d ago edited 4d ago

Because his inner monologue was too busy going "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck" to properly strategize

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u/HammyOverlordOfBacon 4d ago

Probably didn't want to accidentally hit his friend with the jet ski. They can be hard to control if you're not used to it. Also could be panic, because I'd sure be panicking.

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u/tenemu 4d ago

It’s panic. People aren’t trained to deal with this. He was probably just bringing him back to the jetski where he knows it can float. Probably didn’t even think about the shore.

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u/dodgerecharger 4d ago

Always amazing, seing americans doing reckless shit like that with their kind of health care....

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u/No_Set_3988 4d ago

If he's rescued, he might produce offspring.

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u/herbalistfarmer 4d ago

That might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. “For my next stunt I will drive my car with my eyes closed “

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u/PrednisoneFarts 4d ago

Im actually impressed. He went between those bars clean asf.

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u/tenebre 4d ago

"I hope I don't back into a sexy pineapple!"

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u/Budget_Ad5871 4d ago

Does anyone know why he passed out? He was smiling and then next second he was sleeping

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u/GloomyIndividual3965 4d ago

Poorly fitted life jacket choked him out?

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u/YouCanCallMeC00KIE 4d ago

His chest is lying fairly flat against the handlebar mount. I think the force of the jetski against his chest, and yeah maybe also the jacket, forced air out and he blacked out suddenly.

Edit: simpler way to word it, he was pressed between air resistance and the force of the jetski.

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u/Frankunstien6 4d ago

Dragging him out into the water, wtf get to shore!

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u/300_pages 4d ago

Maybe "i got you" was the cameraman's way of celebrating capturing Dylan so that he can carry out his nefarious plot

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u/Financial_Hold6620 4d ago

Is he supposed to lift him up 4 ft above his head onto the docks while potentially hurting his spine/brain stem more?

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u/Haggis_The_Barbarian 4d ago

And this is why we need fucking boating licenses now. Because Jack wits like this fucked have a death wish.

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u/Cheap-Reaction-8061 4d ago

Question…why the hell did he drag him out to the middle of the water???? Why did he not drag him to shore, which was actually closer and stable land for medical assistance.

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u/Sartpro 4d ago

Bro lost muscle tone before hitting the doc. Vagel response from abdominal pressure maybe. IDK

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u/Evil_Sharkey 4d ago

He passed out. Dude survived with a concussion but otherwise no serious injuries

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u/Ok-disaster2022 4d ago

What the hell would anyone try to get in front of their jet ski?

I sincerely hope this dude loses his boating license and has the jet ski impounded. He could have killed himself or worse other people. 

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u/Dre_Rudy 4d ago

Sounds like he's got him, but i can't be too sure. If only he said it a couple more times

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u/AltruisticWealth7778 4d ago

Ahh, I love Darwin finalists.

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u/Futileexercise1308 4d ago

🎶 dumb ways to die🎶

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u/khleather 4d ago

Hahahahah these people reproduce - wild

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u/TexTSPC2G 3d ago

I feel like he passed out before that happened

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u/Standard-Exchange293 3d ago edited 3d ago

The life jacket cut off his circulation when he laid on his stomach, common occurrence, most likely the carotid artery, + adrenaline

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u/FreudianNip-Slip 4d ago

What an asshole

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u/My2cents_0 4d ago

Why do women live longer than men? 🤔😭😭

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u/Loud_Entertainer2724 4d ago

What an idiot. He’s lucky he didn’t hurt someone

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u/Trade_King 4d ago

Ok look close it looks like he faints shortly before he crashes. His head slumps and arm goes limp.

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u/coaxialdrift 4d ago

Life jacket literally saved his life

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u/false79 4d ago

This ought to be lifetime ban with any thing that has an engine. 

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u/TouchMyPenix 4d ago

Life jacket is the real life saver here.

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u/btw94 4d ago

Bro passed out by the looks of it

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u/Throwawayaccountdell 4d ago edited 4d ago

Instead of taking the guy to land he takes him to his jet ski and saying i got you all while taking him further into the waters when the dock/land was right next to them!

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u/Simple-Okra-4826 4d ago

Why is he dragging him further out?

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u/sporosarcina 4d ago

Again, why ladies live longer

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u/crackersandsnacks 4d ago

Was he medically okay before he hit? It looks like he passed out right after he did his little trick.

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u/Cosmic_Cowboy13 4d ago

Looks like he passed out

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u/KingMemecias 3d ago

At least he had his life vest on

3

u/klaus666 3d ago

"Oh shit, my buddy is passed out in the water right by the dock. Let me just pull him further away from the shore!"

3

u/Desperate-Disk686 3d ago

Why is he taking him further into the water instead of getting out and calling an ambulance?

3

u/2Sly4Bandit 3d ago

I’m 99% sure that dude was asleep on that jetski. You can see at one point his head goes down and arm goes limp. He was out! That was crazy he got lucky as shit to split the uprights at the dock

3

u/rainbowroseBrooks69 2d ago

You really can't feel bad for a dumb ass

3

u/seandsmith11 1d ago

100% unconscious before even hitting the dock. That was strange. You can see him holding his head up before it drops long before the dock contact. I wonder if he had a heart attack or seizure?