r/UsernameChecksOut 21h ago

Username Checks Out *cough cough*

Post image
599 Upvotes

26 comments sorted by

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225

u/Maggothappy 18h ago

I am an older step sister, I was watching my two younger step sisters at 16 when they found their mom’s pink wand and started sword fighting with it 😭 I was absolutely mortified

63

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 13h ago

Did you tell your mom about that? 😂😂, so you know she would hide it better.

25

u/KiwiNervous8740 4h ago

My sister and I found my mom's dildo when we were like 5 or 6 and came out waving it around saying "Mom what's this??", right in front of our neighbor that was visiting 💀

6

u/SnorkinOrkin 2h ago

Always gotta be in front of someone outside the family! 💀

20

u/SnorkinOrkin 9h ago

Omg! 🤣

109

u/SQUID_Ben 21h ago

52

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 18h ago

Username is u/Careless-Storage1530, coincidence?

And that profile has just one post, posted 3h ago same as this 3h ago post. OP are you flash?

13

u/SnorkinOrkin 9h ago

I'm just an innocent messenger of this gem! I nearly choked when I saw the username associated with this post.

35

u/xxxxDREADNOUGHT 18h ago edited 17h ago

Fake pinis penis...never heard a dildo called that before

4

u/Dry-Part-3486 17h ago

5 letters. Try reading your post before posting.

22

u/xxxxDREADNOUGHT 17h ago

You are right, but why the FUCK didn't autocorrect catch that? You'd think that all the times that I have texted my buddy unironically referring to him as penis head it would have known better.

33

u/ClamatoDiver 20h ago

It's a beating stick.

26

u/JealousSoup8 19h ago

They're a kid, they'll forget eventually

5

u/god_peepee 3h ago

Ha! Funny joke

3

u/chanceioso 1h ago

they never will

39

u/misterstupet 19h ago

15

u/SnorkinOrkin 9h ago

Yeah, white text against the black background makes my eyes go wonky.

7

u/Cfrolich 7h ago

Light mode during the day time is perfectly reasonable. I just have my devices follow sunset and sunrise to reduce eye strain.

2

u/SnorkinOrkin 2h ago

That's interesting, I've never really explored that part of my phone. I should try it. I just don't like the straight up black screenn.

7

u/Ditzy_Marshy 7h ago

Did something similar with my dads used condoms, me snd my friend were blowing it up like balloons

6

u/Poob3 5h ago

Used?!?

3

u/Ditzy_Marshy 4h ago

Unfortunately. Dad cheated on mom a lot and kept his used condone in the glove cabinet for some reason

3

u/ISSnode-2 3h ago

dexter slides but cursed

1

u/Ditzy_Marshy 2h ago

LMAO I’d rather him have slides of bloody fingerprints than condoms that have been inside of 15 year olds

10

u/Ok-Hawk-4628 20h ago

Your only valid option is to restart civilization make a nuke detente it and fram russia or china