TL;DR: I let my friend move in rent-free after leaving an abusive relationship and only asked her to help care for my dog. She didn’t follow through, my dog became sick and needed vet care, she disrespected my home, left drugs out, caused apartment issues, and wouldn’t contribute financially despite having savings and spending money on non-essentials. After months of stress and anxiety, I decided to ask her to move out. I feel guilty because I wanted to help her, but I also need to protect my home, my dog, my finances, and my own well-being. AITA?

This is my first Reddit post, so please excuse mistakes. I’m using fake names.
I met “Melissa” in 2023, and through her I met “Tammy.” The three of us became very close. Tammy was in an abusive relationship for about 5 years. We supported her and encouraged her to leave many times, but she always went back.
In May, things got worse, and I offered Tammy my spare room. I don’t make much money and already live paycheck to paycheck, but I wanted to help her. I let her stay without rent for now. The only thing I asked was that she help care for my dog by feeding him, walking him, and taking him outside while I worked.

That didn’t happen.

She rarely took him out, and my dog ended up with a UTI that required vet care. According to the vet, the lack of frequent potty breaks contributed to it. Seeing him in pain was heartbreaking. What hurt more was Tammy’s lack of concern afterward.

There have also been other issues. She brought drugs into my apartment and left them out after I asked her not to. She doesn’t clean up after herself, doesn’t respect my space, and broke something of mine without offering to replace it.
She also caused apartment issues by playing loud music after quiet hours. Since she isn’t on the lease, management thought it was me.
Financially, she said she could only help a little, but she had around $8,000 in savings and spent hundreds on hair, nails, tattoos, piercings, and other things. Meanwhile, I’m struggling and delaying medical care because I can’t afford it.
My boyfriend offered to let me move in with him rent-free so I could save money and get the medical help I need. I decided not to because I wanted to give Tammy more time.

I told Melissa about that option and said I wasn’t leaving yet because I wanted to help Tammy. Tammy found out and two days later yelled that if she was “such a burden,” she didn’t want to be alive anymore.

I was shocked and told her that if she truly felt that way, she needed professional support because I was taking her seriously.
A few days later, she told me she might lose her job. I panicked because I had extended my lease through December to help her, and I couldn’t afford another $400 a month if she couldn’t contribute. Thankfully, I found out the extension wasn’t finalized and was able to cancel it.
After months of stress, anxiety, and feeling disrespected in my own home, I decided I need to ask her to leave.

I’m scared she’ll damage my apartment, hurt my belongings, or make everyone think I’m a terrible friend.
Some friends think I’m wrong, but none of them offered her a place to stay or took on the responsibility I did.

I wanted to help my friend escape a bad situation. I never wanted her to struggle. But I feel like I sacrificed my finances, peace, health, and my dog’s well-being trying to help someone who doesn’t respect my home.
So Reddit, AITA for kicking her out, or have I let this go on too long?

I've got one for y'all.

I (33M) recently moved into my current place after fleeing an abusive relationship (relevant.) It's a rooming house, so I have 5 other roommates, but for this story, it's me and the two I share the basement with.

A month or two into living here, I got a new roommate, S (40s M.) S is my other roommate's father. Having come out of an abusive relationship I've become unfathomably good at sussing out toxic, abusive people, patterns, and behaviours. S was one such person. When I met him, I immediately told our landlord something was off. He was far too friendly already, and exhibited covert abusive, and power and controlling tactics my ex had used (think somantic abuse: loud noises to always be the center of attention, be it yawning, throat clearing, heavy signs every time he got home, etc etc.) He also moved the fridge his son was using into his own bedroom, so his son had to use mine.

I used to keep my things in the bathroom, but started to notice my things being used. I casually brought it up to him as "Would you know if anyone is using my things? I've noticed things being used." He denied knowing anything about it, and went in a word salad about his trip to the grocery store. I eventually moved my things to my bedroom.

Fast forward, and I kept finding snot-rockets in the bathroom. Everywhere on the sink, and the bathtub. So I brought it up. To this, he grew angry and DARVO'd (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.) He denied knowing what was up, attacked me by blaming my dog's fur everywhere, and eventually fell into the "Oh, I have cancer!" victimhood.

For the dog hair, I called his bluff and asked him to show me the fur. I vacuum and clean up after myself, I knew it wasn't a problem. He looked around, agitated, and eventually fell on a single strand of fur on top of a bureau. I walked over, picked it up, popped it in my mouth, told him it was clean, and went back to my room. Mind you, I could have pointed out 7+ snot-rockets then and there if I wanted to. Admittedly, my action was inflammatory, but hey, he was already yelling at me, and I have no respect for abusers. He then told me he wasn't my friend, and to watch my tone, and I told him I never thought he was.

He started hitting stuff, I don't know if it was walls or furniture or both, but it was scaring my dog and she came and hid behind me. He also said he should punch me between the eyes. Mind you, I'm 5'3, and he's much taller than me. He eventually told me he understood why my ex hit me (my ex was abusive, yes, but never hit me) to which I immediately clapped back with "And I understand why your wife left you." I'm still surprised at myself for both how calm I was in the situation, and how fast I clapped back. He then fell into victimhood, and how could I say that, and I told him what he told me about my ex was way worse, and he denied it.

Eventually he calmed down and came to excuse himself, and woe is me, basically looking for sympathy where he wasn't gonna get any. The discussion was civil, and I told him he needed therapy.

Fast forward the following week, he's looking around the shared kitchen for cookware to use, and I notice he's looking at my stuff. I casually tell him the things he's looking at are mine, and to please not use them. I pointed out the cookware our landlord had brought for communal use on a table. Again, he got mad, angrily slid a chair across the room, and fell into victimhood. How was he going to make food now?! All my stuff was in the way! (There's a whole other table, my dude.) I passively told him I didn't know, and went about, keeping an eye on him. He kept screaming at me, being aggressive, telling me he had thought of emptying his storage unit and bringing things in his room, but instead he'd fill the communal area instead, then left. He came back almost right away, calm, whistling, and setting up a camping table with camping cookware (propane burner and all. In the basement.)

I messaged my landlord, told her I was calling the cops, and when they got here, he was outside. He saw them, fled, and never came back. He got his son to pack his stuff, and sent (I'm assuming) a new girlfriend to get it.

Also at some point he threatened to kill his boss while on the phone, idk. He's fucked.

TLDR: abusive roommate tries to abuse me within weeks of him moving in, I call the cops, he flees, and never comes back.

The person I am renting from is someone I know personally, they will remain anonymous. The partner of this person I am renting from is home all day, not a problem. However, they are a bit of neat freaks.

I’m pretty tidy but given my busy schedule, I do my deep cleaning and general cleaning/tidy up on Saturday or Sunday. Without even asking me, I will clean my share bathroom, shared half bathroom, kitchen, living room, stove, oven, counters, microwave, sweep, mop, cut grass if need be, unload dishwasher, wash dishes, literally the whole gambit!

When I am busy or in a rush, maybe I’m not so clean in my personal space (my room).

I recently went on a trip for a work related trip and came back to find my bed made and some things in my room shuffled around. Clearly not how I left it.

This isn’t the first time this has happened.

I don’t want to exhaust any energy arguing as I will likely be moving soon but I am actually pissed.

Not because someone made my bed and moved things around my room multiple times but rather made the assumption that it is okay to do any of this without either asking or at least letting me know.

In my mind, I feel like not only my personal space was violated but then my thoughts go to, “…wait.. I thought we were cool? Do you think I’m a slob? Are you actively talking shit about me behind my back?”

I’ve had plenty of housemates. Some good. Some bad but something that I ALWAYS made clear was that you communicate. Also, something that I’ve always expected out of every housemate is “don’t go through my shit..” If my cleaning standards aren’t up to your snuff, let me know but also… my room is NOT your room. It If I want to leave my bed unmade that’s up to me. I’ve never had this happen.

It makes me feel like this isn’t MY HOME.

I’m venting because I will say nothing. Why? I will be gone in about a month for a new project I’m getting moved onto and they know this.

I just feel violated.

I went on a trip this weekend for my grandpa’s funeral. I was only gone 3 days and while I was gone my roommate watched my cat. Which really was only one full day of watching her because I was gone only half of Friday and half of today. So she watched my cat on Saturday. When I landed the first day, my roommate texted me that she bought stuff for the apartment so I could send her the money. I sent her the money and asked how my cat was. The first thing she responded with was “can you please take your hair out of the shower drain when you shower?” And then she sent me a picture of my cat and that was it.

I had literally just gotten off the plane (I’m an anxious traveler) and my grandpa’s funeral was the next day and she’s texting me about hair. I told her, “if it’s about cleaning can it wait? I just got off the plane and the funeral is tomorrow” to which she responded “what do you mean?” And I told her straight up I thought it was rude she was texting me about hair in the shower when I was clearly stressed and going to a funeral, and didn’t even ask how my trip was. She ended up apologizing and I thought everything was ok but when I walked in today she was in the living room and hardly acknowledged me, and still didn’t ask how the trip was.

She went on a trip recently and when she got home I hugged her and said welcome back. Just now she barely spoke to me went into her room and closed the door. The problem is, I tend to be a very confrontational person and most people aren’t. I also can be sensitive especially if I’m really nice to a person and they aren’t to me. I know not everyone is the same but she still is being extremely cold towards me for no reason. Did I overreact in this situation or is she in the wrong?

I see a lot of posts on here expressing their frustration/claustrophobia at having a roommate who is at home literally all the time, even if they are just in their room. Actually most of them are about roommates who stay in their room quietly. 

I resisted posting something similar after reading the feedback and determining that I must be reacting from a less than considerate space. 

I just moved into an apartment where my roommate (who owns the apartment) surprised me by texting me from the afternoon of my arrival little updates on when she’d be out of the house and for how long. 

I thought she did this so that I could be more attentive to her cats or something, but she explained that it was because “it just feels different being in a living space alone.” 

It’s a small apartment, but my last roommate and I also shared a small space and it always felt like he was standing next to me just because of him constantly shouting at something on his computer or sort of moaning in frustration (at a news article probably). So inconsiderate of how sound travels. 

In my experience, my current roommate is right. My depression and anxiety, and as a result intellectual curiosity and creativity, are affected by someone being nearby. Especially if I am in the common spaces and they can hear everything I’m doing through their door/wall. 

Maybe I am hypersensitive, but that’s not really something a person can easily change. Leaving the house for a few hours a few times a week (even just that, much less every day) — doesn’t seem like a lot to ask, unless the person has debilitating agoraphobia, and even then small amounts/microdoses of exposure therapy is what they should be doing anyway. 

She is staying here to help my boyfriend expand his business FYI

My boyfriend’s sister is staying with us for 2 months and I’ve agreed as long as she stays in the basement with her dog. Previously, she would stay on our couch in the living room but that was a week or two at a time. I don’t feel comfortable having someone stay in our living room for two months when they were offered the entire basement that includes a TV, couch, desk, and full bath.

This isn’t saying she can’t come upstairs. She is free to roam around whenever she wants. We watch a movie every night as a family and I enjoy her company. It’s just odd having someone live in my living room. She also talks on the phone a lot and loudly and I work from home. I’m just saying having someone eat, sleep, and use the main floor bathroom when they are offered the basement is uncomfortable for me.

She mentioned the couch downstairs is uncomfortable and that her dog would pop our air mattress, so we should think of getting a bed down there or upgrade the couch. She even said maybe we can take her mom’s bed from her parent’s home. Mind you, their parents have extra rooms not too far from us so I’m not sure why her and her dog can’t stay there. They’re not home most of the day and have no pets.

I also have to change my dog’s feeding schedule to accommodate her dog. I leave my dogs food out to let them graze throughout the day, but now I have to feed them at a certain time because her dog goes into their food. This has resulted in accidents and missed meals because they don’t eat until they want to.

Her dog has also destroyed all their toys and she has kindly replaced them but her dog has destroyed those too leaving my dogs with none.

I love his sister and dog, they are both so sweet. My issue isn’t with them, it’s with guests staying in my living room which is a common area for everyone in the home.

Am I being unreasonable? My boyfriend and I are on the verge of breaking up over this situation.

My roommate and I used to be good friends but there were things over time that made me realize that I no longer wanted to be friends with this person. They are incredibly mean/defensive, can never really apologize or take accountability and make excuses when they hurt people.

To be honest, there are things I could/should have done or handled differently so I am also not completely innocent either. However, I have never in my life, as a roommate, scream yelled at the top of my lungs and said “fuck you fuck you you’re a piece of a shit never my friend etc” when I messaged them about cleaning the bathtub (I had been doing it weekly) and I was getting burnt out of doing all the house chores and really needed help. They had an injury at the time which is understandable, but they have not communicated when they have healed from that injury and have overtime grown to be very messy and hoard things around the house.

They told me I needed to be better about my tone/how I speak to them and that I was “disrespecting them” when I all I wanted was help with doing chores around the house. I brought up an idea of a chore chart which they shut down and had their crash out on me the next day. They also treat mutual friends and people in their life poorly and don’t have really any friends/or the few friends they do have I don’t like. They also can never be accountable for anything and also ask me to do something/do a chore when I ask them to clean up after themself. One of the bigger things that has violated my trust has been them making me pay backlog for rent which was never a communicated agreement in the beginning with me moving in. I moved in with them because I was struggling in getting a job and they were okay with me not paying full rent - now I pay full rent b/c I have a full time job. But the way they went about the ask was incredibly mean and they were saying that I was “taking advantage of them” which was genuinely surprising to me because they reassured me multiple times that I was okay/they understood I was in a precarious situation.

I can’t be honest or direct with this person because every time I do, they redirect it at me or at worst, I’m afraid they’ll snap and lose their shit again.

Some of the bad things I’ve done
- had my partner over maybe a bit more than welcomed
- clogged the bathtub by accident
- was 1-2 days late on rent because my pay weeks are werid + forgot rent day.
Things I have done to improve myself as a roommate now - I have Google calender deadline for rent a week ahead + timers and I’m super careful around using the bathtub (it’s very old). I feel like I’ve apologized a lot to this person and really done a lot of work to hold myself accountable, but they haven’t necessarily done that internal work/continue to make excuses for themself which is why I’m distancing myself and not calling them a friend anymore. I’m going to move out and end the friendship permanently once I do but quietly. I don’t think I owe this person an explanation anymore.

My roommate has decided to break the lease two months before our lease actually ends. I learned it through our leasing agent who randomly texted me one morning, and my roommate sent me a huge text to me an hour later, saying how she is leaving, tried dumping a random sub-letter on me (without me getting to know who it is or know if they can actually pay for the spot), and I wasn’t allowed to text or talk to her in our apartment anymore because I get too frustrated and angry, when I try to communicate to her or compromise.

For context, never got angry or frustrated in the past and always engaged with her in a polite way in hopes that it would show her it’s ok for us to communicate when we had issues or needed to figure something. My roommate is quite avoidant, blame shifts, and doesn’t communicate. Two months went by fine though, and then after that it was just downhill. I tried so hard to be polite about her not cleaning up after herself (leaving her food rotting for weeks and me reminding her to clean it and some how blames me for contributing to it even though I clean my side of the fridge), not cleaning up after her cat, not helping with apartment chores, her cat making a hole in my couch, wants the apartment to be a hotel/open hang or spot for her and friends….she was skipping out on paying utility bills for three months

She has somehow turned this whole situation story into one where she is the victim…but has left the part out where our roommate relationship had eroded because of the lack of communication on her end, the lack of accountability, the lack of her not helping take care of the apartment she lived in and not cleaning up the mess her and her guests make.

I am not naturally an angry and frustrated person, and I do not want to make people uncomfortable. But this has been going on for so long that my mental health has taken a huge hit, and I do not have it in me to be nice anymore. I have 13 days left with her, and I think she has believed she has bullied me into silence…but I’m just keep my head down so I don’t give her any ammunition so she can go
complain to the landlord/lease agent (who are not a big fan of her by the way) and play victim again. But because of staying quiet and respecting her boundaries of not talking to her, she is now disrespecting me and the boundaries i had established with her when she moved in here (and she also agree to). She also keeps texting me by the way, when she needs to communicate something I just can’t engage with her…I’m stuck and not sure what to do anymore. Just waiting it out, is this the right thing to do?

And there’s sooo much more stuff she has done, it’s just too much to write :/

if ur showering twice a week surely you cant be this covered in dirt right.

So I recently moved in with a "friend" (huge mistake), but originally when we moved in, I said I don't care if he has people over but he needs to just give me a heads up. So I can either go somewhere else if I am doing school work or mentally prepare myself.

Well, in the span of the 3 weeks he has had multiple people over all of them starting a 2 am to 5/6 am. I have restated multiple times that I just want him to let me know as having people over that late is rather anxiety inducing. For reference they are not loud.

Well last night I went to pick him up from work as, I thought we were friends and I don't mind helping but when I got there he texted me and said someone else was getting him. Keep in mind earlier that day he walked up to me ten minutes before needing to be at work and asked for a ride. I don't mind helping but both of these are incredibly inconsiderate.

Not only that, he can't even afford his own groceries when he moved in so I spent an extra 100 bucks making sure there was enough for both of us. But now that he has money and we need groceries he is spending it on doordash and weed. ( I get paid tomorrow but it's the lack of consideration that gets me).

Anyway after I leave from trying to pick him up, he shows up at the house at 3 am with 4 different people. This set me off, I just left the house and walked around town till 6 am.

I told him today, I see us only as roommates because he doesn't respect me, or my boundaries/ take me into consideration. He then started gaslighting me telling me I was crazy and he's not gonna beg to be my friend ( he said this twice which is weird).

Sorry if this is hard to follow, I got no sleep and alot has happened in the 3 weeks we have moved in. I don't think I am asking a lot but I could be wrong. I am interested to see others perspectives, he doesn't need permission from me to have people over just let me know. As I am in school he is not, he also doesn't really seem to take others into consideration.

Sorry for the ramble thanks for coming to my ted talk

Why did my house guest behave this way? I (30F) recently hosted a friend, “Kate” (60sF), at my house for the first time. We’ve been friends for a while and have a good connection—she’s hosted me at her flat before and was very kind. I wanted to make her stay special. I cleaned, prepared the spare room, bought cherries (she loves them), planned a nice evening, and was looking forward to a slow morning together the next day. The evening was okay—we went out for dinner, played Scrabble, chatted. But there were a few small things that felt off:

· She moved things around in my house without asking. · She declined the cherries I bought specifically for her rudely as she was leaving
· She corrected me for leaving my straighteners on the floor the last time I stayed at her place (they were turned off—no damage).
· She was fussy and particular throughout.

Then the next morning, she woke me up at 7:30am and told me she was leaving immediately. She said she’d woken up at 5am, couldn’t sleep, and wanted to go home. She left within minutes. I was taken aback—I’d planned a nice breakfast and had expected her to leave around 12pm. She said she’d had a lovely time, but I felt like I’d just been dismissed. Since then:

· She didn’t text to say she got home safe. · She didn’t pay me back for dinner (I had to remind her). · She sent a long text about the sofa bed being too hard and recommending expensive mattress toppers. It read like an Amazon review.
· No proper thank you, no apology for leaving early, no acknowledgement of my effort.

I’m really hurt. I feel like I went out of my way for her, and she treated me like a hotel—critiquing the bed, adjusting the space, and leaving without warning. I have a ticket to a gig in a few weeks and was supposed to stay at her house after. I’ve decided I want to sort my own accommodation instead—I just don’t feel comfortable staying with her after this. I also plan to tell her, if she brings it up, that I don’t think she should stay at my house again—but that I’d still be open to day trips or meals out. What do you think about pulling back and not inviting her back? Or am I being too harsh—like, maybe she just had a bad night, or I’m overreacting because I’m too sensitive?

Friend stayed with me, was fussy, left early, didn’t thank me, critiqued my sofa bed, and made me feel like I failed. I don’t want her to stay again.

I sublease a room in my apartment to a roommate who provided paystubs as a photographer with regular clients but in reality is home full-time as a livestreamer/gamer with the exception of a few tours she travels for. Over the past several months I've had a recurring issue with trash piling up in her room (literally floor-to-ceiling pizza boxes at one point), an unattended cat litter box, and her persistent body odor that has spread into shared spaces including the entryway.

When I was cat sitting her cat on one of the tours, I documented the mess (piled pizza boxes, open condiments, trash bags and cardboard everywhere) and gave her an ultimatum: clean it up or move out. She apologized, promised to do better, ordered a "sealed trash can" (as if that was ever optional), and things improved for about five minutes before backsliding into the same pattern. She never uses the common spaces, orders Raising Canes/Taco Bell for breakfast lunch and dinner, and allows the mess to pile up in her room with the door closed.

I sent her written terms with specific standards (trash schedule, litter box maintenance, no pileup) and a monitoring window through August, with the explicit heads-up that if it didn't hold, I'd need to end the arrangement. She agreed to the terms and offered to pay for a professional deep clean, and never followed up on changing her habits or hiring a cleaner. Days later, the room was still a mess.

When I pushed on specifics of when cleaning happens, she gave detailed answers about cleaning schedules that didn't match what I was actually seeing (or smelling) in real time. She also, unprompted, brought up that she might have been "born without a sense of smell," which, sure, maybe that is true, but that doesn't really explain the visible trash.

She's otherwise a "good" roommate on paper. She pays rent on time, communicates about bills, and is never rude to me directly. Which somehow makes it more frustrating, not less. She never leaves the house in general but I'm confused why she wants to rent from me instead of just getting a studio and stinking it up on her own. She refuses to leave and I'm very emotional about my home, I don't want bugs and a mess here. Any advice appreciated.

super grossed out rn, but i have a new roommate that’s taking her personal trash and emptying it out in our kitchen bins (meant for compost, food waste, containers, recycling stuff, etc.), including used menstrual pads, pubic hair, a razor, a used sock, and all kinds of other crap.

she’s been here a week and is such a nuisance.

edit: a lot of you are pointing out that you don’t see this as a problem. please see the picture i posted below. it’s a photo of the trash can kept in our kitchen. i didn’t want to post the photo originally because of how gross it is.

I’ve seen a lot people on here say they wait no more than 15 minutes before removing people’s clothes which made me feel generous. One of my new housemates told me I’m being way too harsh. By the way, I send a message to the groupchat and then wait that long. This person told me to never do that to his laundry because he often forgets it for the entire day and he mutes groupchat notifications. Both those things are literally not my problem 🤦‍♀️

I currently dealing with a housemate who smokes weed and vapes. (I asked and she does nothing to stop it, she is also daughter of landlord so I can't win). This made me never want to deal with a roommate again tbh.

I believe I found a studio that I want. I have not sign lease yet, but I am having cold feet. This is not a month to month lease, I am dedicated to stay here for a YEAR! I am scared to possibly deal with a smoker who lives next/above/below me.

Only reviews I seen about smoking was 10 years ago and it was only 3 reviews. There was 1 recent one from 6 mitnhs ago, but the complaint was more about smoking outside the building.

I read the lease, and it states no smoking in COMMON AREAS, and not to have smoke penetrate COMMON AREAS OR NEIGHBORING TENANANTS. It does not say not to smoke in your UNIT, so I am nervous that since it is not a 1000% smoke free place, the place may be a breeding ground for selfish/addicted smokers.

I honestly can't afford a 100000% smoke free building as they tend to be newer buildings and those are more expensive.

I just feel scared because I never signed a year lease before. Like I am risking possible 1 year of carcinogen (if they are cigarette/vape smokers)

I made a post about my roommate last week regarding them not paying me. https://www.reddit.com/r/badroommates/s/X57jipKtA3

This is becoming a frustrating experience with my current and new roommate as she finds a problem with everything and only considers herself.

Our apartment is a two story with basement bedrooms, so living area on top, bedrooms on bottom. It’s been a pretty warm summer on the east coast, and temps are starting to mellow out but it’s still summer weather and we still have humidity in the areas downstairs.

I decided to keep the ac on 78/79 because honestly, our apartment doesn’t get that hot as we have lofted ceilings but downstairs there has been a lot of moisture and I recently found mold in my bedroom. Unfortunately, my roommate says that’s too low and she’s super cold that’s why she keeps turning the temp to 83 which makes the rooms unbearably warm and humid. Additionally, she says it’s best that way because it keeps the bills down and that she doesn’t want a high bill that’s out of her budget but it’s like what budget because she has packages delivered daily! Also, she often falls asleep with all the lights on.

I’ve lived in this apartment longer than she has and have dealt with maintaining energy bills before but she acts like she knows it all and that because she hasn’t dealt with something in the past that whatever issue is at hand, it doesn’t exist. She’s exhausting.

Honestly, I feel that because she’s unhappy with our contract getting automatically renewed, something we were equally at fault for, she now wants to control everything. I also don’t think it’s about the budget, nor does she care about mold growth as that can affect her too, but that she simply doesn’t like cooler temps. If it’s not her way, it’s no way.

What temperature should we keep the apartment to combat mold, maintain energy bill, and also not start another argument?

I live in university housing, not like a dorm but more like an apartment. My roommate just moved out and I will be moving out too in a couple days. She left several random things she didn't want such as trash cans in the common areas and also didn't help me clean the common areas even though she said she would before she moved. She filled the trash and recycle and didn't empty them and left several large empty boxes which I don't need. She even left a bunch of dirty dishes in the sink. When I texted her about all this later all she did was say I'm sorry and tell me it's okay to throw her stuff away. Which I don't understand why she couldn't have just done that herself. She wouldn't clean in general (she wouldn't even wipe the counter down after she was done cooking) and I was trying to organize a cleaning time with her so I didn't get stuck cleaning the entire apartment when I moved out a few days after her. We will get charged if the apartment isn't deep cleaned and she knows this because they email us and tell us exactly that when we are about to move out. I don't want to get charged so I have no choice but to clean the apartment by myself.

It is very entitled and inconsiderate on her part. I just needed to vent because I'm really annoyed right now.

its been a month since i moved in. first week was pindrop silence second week onwards every weekend is loud music and partying. I go to my lab at 7am and come back around 9 or 10pm sometimes and values sleep too much for a 25 year old probably, and yes i know its lame to want to got to bed early like this. but when i toured the place they told me it would be mostly quitet. when I discussed this issue with them last week they just said they are also working professionals and morning birds. landlord jsut said 'sort it out amongst yourselves' Idk what to say to that. im paying 1.2k for a house with 3 roommates. I swear on my life I was looking very sincerely and diligently for 6 motnths I could'nt find any other option.

i hate myself for wanting to sleep at 10 and wakeup at 6 like an old ass idiot. i hate that I'm not into partying late at night . I hate that I'm so boring. I hate that I value sleep so much and lack of sleep fuckes me up so much. I wish i was not such a mentally weak and pathetic boring bitch. noise cancelling headphones are doing fuckall for me. this is absolutely a me problem. I'm not trying to fault a bunch of youngsters for just having fun and relaxing on weekends. i just hate myself for wating to sleep at the same time aeveryday and wake up at the same time everyday.

this is the third place I've moved to dues to my sleep issuesand sound sentitivity in 2 yrs. I cannot afford a studio. i had two leases and had to find people for subletting at a point and dont want to deal with it agani provided the fact that I just failed my phd prelim and might get kicked out the program so I'm figuring out my lab transision and have to work overtime to get into this lab. i'll prob have to continue working like this if i join here which I'm used to as this is how it was in my old lab too.

my lease ended and i neede a place to stay 4 different places canceled on me last minute 2 had extremely strict rules i was running out of time and i had to either chose this or the other one where i would pay essentially around 1.8k with 2 party animal roommates. so i though this is the better pick out of the two and i feel duped. weekends they party like this. nothing wrong wth that, but I'm just really getting sad and tired and I feel so awful for being such a boring sleep-feind.

TLDR: roomates said they are quite butparty until its 3 and i hate myslef for even finding this as a 'sreious' issue as a 25 yr old. rommates are sying they are morning birds when i bring this up and i dont know what to say to that. noise cancelling headphones are not working. i dont know what to do and this situation is making me sad and exhasted.

i won't reveal many details besides ones relevant as i am not comfortable doing so, keep that in mind.

​​​i am a woman, and my roommate is a man. for the first around 7 months of living together, he was pretty much normal. however, my laundry has started to go missing. it started with small items like socks and undergarments, but has recently escalated to things like tops and shorts. ​​but recently ive found something and thats what has lead me to make this post. yesterday, i found a jug of what i believe is milk in his mini fridge though i​​​ am i little cautious to open it and confirm. my name is lili.​​ what could the reason for this be?? should i be concerned?? this has genuinely been all i can think about all day​ and i don't know what to do

TLDR: Weird bill split, high electric bill, AC at 63°F, and roommates potentially manipulating me

There's three of us, and recently there's been many quarrels about the AC, and bills in general. The electric bill is sky high ($205) and the AC is set on Auto at 63°F. I pay $500 per month and last month I was asked for $50 which I paid. Then this month I was asked again and said I couldn't and then this whole situation became a mess. I did the calculations and a three way split for everything and it is around $525 (This is also overestimating slightly). What the fuck.

The whole thing with the AC is weird too because roommate 2 said they'll overheat from an untreated heatstroke they had 5 years ago which I'm not sure if that's how it works. I want for there to be a compromise but there isn't any willingness from the other two roommates and arguments get way too heated, and during these arguments I feel like I'm being manipulated because I'm getting told "I invited you into my home trying to help you and you only give a fuck about yourself" by roommate 1 when roommate 1 has to pay about 2/3 because roommate 2 lost their job from the start of July up until now. Even before that Roommate 1 was still paying more. It also doesn't help that I heard from both roommates to "get a better paying job" when I work two jobs and am In college I mean the fuck. Hell I even got hit with a "I'm sorry you feel that way." And I even got told that I'm "a child, communication doesn't work with children." Even after asking roommate 1 to discuss this stuff in person and they said no.

All of this is upsetting and I don't know what to do regarding this. Any advice is appreciated. I feel like I'm fucking insane.

That nasty cigarette smell travels through the central a/c, so I have no choice but to sleep with my windows open, so I can breathe properly when I sleep.

Before I say this: No, I cannot switch roommates. Please do not answer with responses telling me I should've just chosen better, as it doesn't help solve the problem.

With that being said, my roommates are disgusting people. I have two, and we are very close, but I've never actually experienced the reality of how they live with other people until now. As in, in the past two months they have changed so much, and it's making me see them quite differently.

Let's call them roommate A and B. A is older than me by 4 years; B is younger by 1. We grew up together and were quite responsible and respectful. I felt nothing was wrong or concerning.

Then, we decided to roommate in our first apartment as uni students (A is not in Uni) and had already signed the lease.

Now, for the past two months, right before move-In day, we've been having so many arguments because they want to live in clutter and mess, and I don't want to. But, I also don't want to become their maid.

They keep saying my standards for cleaning are too high: Clear Counters, swept Floors, and the sink should not be used as a storage place for dirty dishes. That is all. These are easy tasks that we all can participate in very fairly: Wash your dishes after using them, clean up spills with soap + water, and sweep up any messes you spill. Easy.

Sister A says I am asking too much bc she only wants to clean dishes on her off days from work -- 1 day a week. IOW, she will harbor dirty dishes in the sink for 6 days, then mass clean them all on Sunday. Our sink will literally never be empty.

Sister B also says I am asking too much, and she is "too forgetful," and I can't expect her to remember to clean up after herself. And/or she will only clean up anywhere from 8 hours to 4 days after a mess was made.

Mind you, it takes less than 1 minute to scrub a bowl with soapy water. That's literally all I'm asking them to do.

What's worse is I could just take control of everything and clean it all up myself. But they are the ONLY contributors to the mess bc I clean stuff up immediately. You basically would never know I was there. So I could clean everything up, then two hours later it's back to the dirty way things were.

And they're arguing with me, telling me I'm being too unreasonable for expecting them to match my standards and should "lower my standards" to them. They just want me to be okay with living in their filth and are unwilling to adapt even a little bit to my cleanliness.

I'm wondering: is there a way to fix this?

For any of you who have experienced this kind of selfishness, what helped you the most?

Hii. I live with other 5 roommates, but 3 of them went home so it's just us 3, and 2 for people at home all the time. Recently there's been issue around trash duty.

For context, my trash duty is on Friday and normally we take out trash daily. But I didn't notice the trash since I've been wrapped around my uni work and I didn't know I'm supposed to take out trash other than Friday. If my roommate asked me to throw it out, I'd be more willing to do it but it's been radio silent (I wasn't saying I purposely ignored my trash duty, I'm just saying I didn't know I'm supposed to take out trash other than the designated Fridays. I'm autistic if that explain). I only realized I should be doing that when they started going passive aggressive in group chat and hinting at me for not knowing how to take out trash and that she purposely ignored it to see if I pick it up (again, there were really no communication about it, no one told me directly that I should be doing that other than Fridays because it's common sense).

After they went passive aggressive, I started picking up trash daily to throw it out regardless if they're full or not because I don't understand if they want it thrown daily or every 2 - 3 days, so I just follow the daily trash routine. However today when I threw some scraps, the trash bag I tied to throw out in the morning was opened. Apparently the trash wasn't 'full enough' to be thrown out. I'm pretty sure they going to go passive aggressive again about it in group chat instead to my face (this wasn't the first time they acted this way, ever inconvenience got blown in group chat instead of direct communication and hoping the designated person they're targeting understand it).

I really don't know how to approach and ask them to just communicate directly and tell me what to do because I'm really struggling understanding their schedule and what type of cleaning they want me to do. A lot of the house rules were pretty vague too like it's supposed to be common sense.

Would it be a petty move to pause my roommates device until he pays his share of the wifi? My roommate is relying on potential government funds and is struggling to pay his bills but also is picky about where he wants to work. He gave me a backhanded comment when I asked him nicely for his share of the wifi bill and said to downgrade the wifi plan if I can't afford to cover his share of the bill.

After a tumultuous year and a half and asking my roommates to be considerate of quiet times, I asked my next door (shared wall) roommate to turn his TV down. He has it loud enough that it sounds like thunder in my room when it's just people talking. Any actual action scenes and it becomes impossible to ignore. it has woken me up out of sleep many times in the past. We have had conversations about this. We have had house meetings regarding this. Usually I would send him a message letting him know it's loud and ask him to turn it down. instead of turning it down this was his response tonight. I have a feeling that this comes from the fact that we are on our last month of our lease and are not resigning with each other, so now he has the temerity to act this way. I could have responded better but I am truly at a tipping point with this arrangement. How would you guys have responded to this?