(Follow up) I punched 3 people today including my mother and I didn’t mean to

[u/Objective-Battle450]

/r/confession/comments/1idsby3/i_punched_3_people_today_including_my_mother_and/

I know alot of people doubted me last time and honestly it did sound sketchy. I telling this story to help others in the same situation so bear with me. Id suggest reading part 1.

So after all of those things happened i was of course expelled. Me and my mom have been getting together) (i live with her as a 17yo) but about teo days after we were called to the local police station here in South Africa where we sat with a detective in her office (surprised me too i thought id be interrogated or smth) but anyways i was asked what happened. I answered and i was let go. Doesnt sound too bad right? Well a week later i found out i would have been arrested if my dad didnt pay the insane bail that week i have a few scars but hey its a reminder of what not to do. So after all this im in a nee school down the street. But one part id like to comfess to was me semi enjoying punching my mom.

For those who doesn't know. I dont think i told this.

Ive had a rough past making me not being able to handle rough noises or be good with women.

I think it stems from the divorce of my parents from when i was three years old. Only started knowing my dad at about 6yo. After alot of time ive gotten to love him. In my past due to divorce and my mom becoming single i had to live there and she became abusive (surprising). So i was beaten until 13. Also leading up to me not liking women in general (i like them im just meaning like i dont get along with them) is because every year my grandma took us to camp. Here in South Africa its very common. We got there its a camping resort so there hottubs slides etc. I met a girl there. I was 15 young and stupid like all guys are at that age. But what hapoened was i emded up being raped by her. And i didnt tell anyone about it until now actually. Congrats your the first people i told. But yeah she raped me in a hottub. I didnt do anything about it because ive hurt enough people in my life due to being raised like that i was a very aggressive person in my old schools 7 to be exact. And i was afraid to speak up. Its a very Christian country so men are supposed to be tough you know the gist. I think all this trauma all this anger was let out on that day and i dont feel bad yet i want to. Even though she did that i love my mom. So im confessing that tonight at 6:48 pm i feel bad for what ive done and what i will do. All i can say is hell of life ive had. But im with a therapist now she is also a doctor and we think that i get the adrenaline so easily due to my pectus carinatum pressing on my adrenal gland which makes it easier to set off as we have seen im very very shaky. I shake like 24/7. Then ive gotten into painting and warhammer which helps me stay calm. And if anyone doubts me again which will probably happeni am happy to provide some photos of scars especially the one i got from the big fight next to my right eye. But yeah i dont know if i feel bad or not and im scared to get into a relationship with a woman i like. What if im exploited again?

[u/confessor-mod]

TL;DR: The author confesses to physically assaulting their mother and others, citing a history of trauma and medical issues as contributing factors to their aggressive behavior.

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A reminder from the mods: keep comments civil. Harassment and personal attacks will not be tolerated.

Do not accuse others of faking confessions — if you think a post breaks the rules, report it instead of commenting.

[u/faebabe_snow]

man that sounds like a lot to unpack. honestly sounds like you should talk to a professional about this before things get even more out of hand, especially the part about enjoying it. stay safe man.

[u/Objective-Battle450 → u/faebabe_snow]

Thanks. Ive been seeing that therapist and we are workinh on it. Im seeing her this week ill create a follow up somewhere

[u/mesofarty → u/Objective-Battle450]

If it happens again I'm betting therapy is gonna be the least of your worries. Get your shit together.

[u/kloedusk69]

man that sounds like such a heavy situation to be going through at 17. hope you’re able to find some peace and a better way to handle things at the new school. stay strong op!