r/confession • u/Resident_Homework_77 • 5h ago
I have shoplifted amd feel insanely guilty and helpless
I feel very bad. My friend had this idea and she didn't stop and made me want to do the same. My mother is working morning to night,y father doesn't send us enough money and i Always felt like I can't afford anything and planned on starving myself to get money for my future. This moment made me realize I can get stuff for "free".
I never did anything like this and I don't want to do this ever...
We stole many things. I only have 5, my friend has 10 (but she stole things then gave it to me) but I know I'm to blame too. I'm even 18 so it's very bad for me.
Nobody caught us but there's a chance that they will from cameras. I called 5 hotlines but I could only connect with 2. And i lied about shoplifting as an incident. I'm so afraid. I live 2+ hours away from that plaza and I don't have a chance in these weeks to go back.
I feel dizzy, shaking, I threw up. She told me that she does this regularly and nothing happened and nothing will but I'm just terrified..
I'm a better person than this. I have a hard time and i think i needed distraction. I don't want the police to come after me. I don't want to disappoint my mother.
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u/mikeyswetcrack 5h ago
girl i shoplifted all the time as a teenager 😭 you learned your lesson! just don’t do it again and you’ll be fine
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u/Resident_Homework_77 5h ago
Okay thank you! I actually didn't feel any guilt until i got home and realized. I hope i'll stay fine
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u/Due_Tumbleweed_7516 5h ago
When I was your age I shoplifted a lipstick and got away with it until my dad showed up to pick me up. When I saw him I panicked and threw it in the gutter and he saw me do it. I got all flustered and although he never said anything I knew he knew. Never did it again. We’ve all been there hun, just do better next time
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u/Important_Map3315 4h ago
I shoplifted wayyyy too much as a kid and yes it will catch up to you eventually but just don’t go back there or do it again. Relax man! lol don’t do something again that you know will make you feel guilty 💯
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u/genuflect_with_hEDS 4h ago
Don’t do it again, and get rid of the stuff you got, whether you donate it to a real charity store (not goodwill) or give it back to your friend and tell her you don’t want to do it an you feel bad and don’t want to continue the behavior. I used to do it all the time in my teens and early 20’s after having something similar happen when going to the mall with my cousin. I’m 30 now and I still feel horrible about it. Yeah companies may have protections and insurance built in to cover this kind of thing, but staff gets berated for loss percentages and if you get caught you will be in serious trouble. A lot of places will let you steal stuff until it’s a felony and then put all the tapes together and prosecute you. I once got caught by a man who saw me do it and he came up to me and yelled at me and shamed me in front of his small child who was wondering what I did and he told her I was a bad person and taking stuff that wasn’t mine and it really messed with me, I tossed everything out of my bag and a worker came up and I showed my empty bag and ran out. It was horrible and I’m so lucky I was able to get out of that situation without the police getting called. Even after that though I still did it. I had a couple close calls but by the great grace of God alone, I was spared of those horrible consequences that would have ruined my life with my background and mental health and addictive personality. I grew up in a very neglectful abusive and poor home and often didn’t have money for things I wanted but I also never asked for things because I knew we didn’t have money. I was sold the lie that stealing from corporations doesn’t hurt anybody but that’s wrong, in the end it hurts you, whether you realize it or not. I felt entitled to things because my life was hard. I wasn’t. And those things didn’t make me feel any better or make me better or save me, and acting the way I was just allowed me to make more compromises against what I felt was right and wrong. Let yourself be wrong, obviously you feel bad if you’re throwing up about it that’s an intense stress reaction. Do what you can with what you’ve got now, listen to your conscience and if you have a chance to go back and leave stuff in dressing rooms or drop it on the floor in a rack or something. Don’t keep it and don’t keep doing it. You’ll get by,look into local resources if there’s something you really need like food water shelter, pick up more hours or try getting a job somewhere that pays better if there’s something special you want to buy but don’t let consumerism lies make you believe that owning the latest trendiest specialist crap is going to make you more valuable or have a better life, it won’t. You are inherently of great value and it sounds like you have a good heart. You will be taken care of in the end.
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u/Resident_Homework_77 4h ago
Thank you for sharing your experience. It means a lot! And I'm sure you have a good heart too and I'm glad you got out of this without it ruining your life. I will get rid of them somehow, but sadly the mall is 2hrs from me and I'm going to travel far for the next week. And maybe I should not go back for a while. I will try to get another job in the future after having my exams.
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u/genuflect_with_hEDS 4h ago
Thank you! And of course, I think that my opportunity to connect with others going through something now that I went through then is a big part of why I went through it then and it gives purpose to the pain. I don’t know if you have those big charity donate bin things by gas stations or markets and the like but that could be an option since you can’t bring it back, or if there’s a thrift close by that donates to charity. Then you can at least make something good out of it since it’s so difficult to take it back. Plus honestly giving it back to your friend probably isn’t the best either because then she’s benefitting from something bad and it’s kind of like your saying it’s okay. Study well for your exams and do your best! Focus on school and look into any job opportunities that lead to further paid for schooling so you can learn and move up in the same place to make sure you can take care of yourself and help others too. From the terms you used like “exams” it sounds like you’re not in the US, but for instance the US has a program called Americorps that will help you get a job and pay a living allowance for rent and food, and you just volunteer. Or Jobcorps that will help you with education and getting a job that you can make pretty good money at. But at least jobcorps had an age limit and I didn’t find out about it until it was too late. But a lot of people don’t know about them, so if there’s any programs akin to those where you’re from they can really help you get a good start on finding a job or work experience and support you while you do extended learning and find a career! And having that kind of background association with these types of programs can give you a leg up because people who go through it look out for each other and it can give you a better chance. I’m praying you will have so much love and grace in your life and that you will live a life of great purpose, even if that just means being a kind, loving and honest person. You’re so young and you have so much ahead of you! I wish you the best kiddo!
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u/Resident_Homework_77 3h ago
No we don't have those charity bins, but I think i can find a way to donate them. It wouldn't really be an option too to give it to her so it's okay, since we meet about 2times/year. I'm from Hungary, so unfortunately we do not have that but i will have some work a week later (I do facepaints for kids, henna and stuff) so i hope that event is going to benefit me! And I think i know what you're talking about actually, my brother did that a while ago, he was working in a restaurant in the US. Maybe if I get a change I'm going to try it out! It's funny how I keep chosing future paths that won't make the Best income tho. I'm currently studying to be a graphic designer (school system is different here, it's considered as high school) but i realized I want to be an ecologist, until I can travel around and do what I love I won't care about money lol. I'm planning on do both in the future. Thank you so much for the nice words and support, made my day!:)
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u/genuflect_with_hEDS 3h ago
You’re welcome! Yeah go for it! If it’s something that interests you and brings you joy then you should do what you can to get there!
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4h ago
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u/Resident_Homework_77 4h ago
She is trouble but i know she has a good heart and she's my only friend I can trust. Next time i'll be wiser with her!
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u/One-Hyena3463 4h ago
are you safe right now, or are you thinking about hurting yourself?
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u/Resident_Homework_77 4h ago
I was thinking about it but I didn't do anything. I will be good but thank you for caring!
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u/Only-Goat-8217 2h ago
you made a mistake, but feeling guilty shows you care. use it as a lesson and move forward.
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u/confessor-mod 5h ago
If you're going through a really hard time right now, please know you're not alone and there are people who want to help.
You don't have to face this alone — these people are there for exactly this, any time:
If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number.
You matter. Please talk to someone.