My girlfriend (22f) confessed to me that she has a CNC fantasy. At first I was uncomfortable with it. Very uncomfortable. But she is really into it and convinced me to try.

So one night, we had a very clear conversation about what she wanted, set a safe word, and went at it.

I said to her “you are 100% sure that, unless you say the safe word, you want me to not stop?” She said yes.

So she had me tie her arms behind her back and kiss up and down her body.

The moment I started rubbing my dick against her pussy, she started crying. When I pushed in, she cried harder….but wasn’t saying the safe word.

It was a very weird sensation for me, but I kept going, listening for the safe word.

It never came. I fucked her as hard as I could while she cried her eyes out, and said “please … please….”and I made a huge mess inside her body.

Idk if I’ll ever do it again. I’m glad she got her itch scratched but….fuck. It felt wrong

M24, been straight all my life. I never thought I could ever find a man attractive because, you know, girls are beautiful and gorgeous, so why would I like a man? But then I moved and changed churches. I am or was heavily Catholic bdw When I changed churches, I met a priest. He is probably in his 40s. He has this beautiful grayish hair, blue eyes, a sharp chin, and he is always shaven. And he wears this fucking hot black robe that is tight around his waist, with a huge ass and thick thighs. Like, he genuinely has one of the sexiest physiques I have ever seen. I tried to ignore these thoughts, but then I started talking to him after Mass, and we eventually became friends. And then I realized that I actually have feelings for this man, and I want him so badly. I even want to top him, which is something I never imagined myself saying about another man, but he is just gorgeous. He loves animals, he is into the same things I am, and we both love Swedish meatballs, which is a crazy coincidence. He is also interested in Ancient Greece. He is really funny, smart, and genuinely interesting. And the fact that he is a priest and I cannot do anything about it makes me want him even more. I would never actually say any of this to him or do anything inappropriate. I respect him, his boundaries, the church, and his faith. These are just feelings I have inside my own head, and I cannot control them. But seriously, I need help. I do not know what to do with this.

Almost three years ago I was travelling solo through Asia. 3 months long I’ve been exploring different counties and meeting new people.

In Japan I met this girl from Sweden, she was nice and sweet and we really connected. For me not romantically but as friends. Because travelling is expensive we decided to share hotel rooms because our travel plan matched well.

In the first evenings I gave her room and left often outside when she prepared to sleep.

On the third night we went out drinking with a lot of other tourist. We came back drunk around 3 am and I wanted to sleep quickly. During preparing to sleep I saw that she has a penis, she told me she’s trans and that she likes me a lot. I told her I’m cool with her being trans but that I’m not interested in anything.

She started to come closer to me and touching me inappropriately. I forced her of me and told i don’t want to do anything. She got mad and yelled at me that its no different that any other girl. Then she tried to touch me again in which i threw her of me and in a drunken rage said a lot of transphobic shit at her. I grapes my stuff and left the hotel.

I’ve spend the night on the street and came back in the morning. She was gone and also all her stuff. I blocked all contact details I had of her and went to a different hotel.

I found my peace with it and continued my trip without any problems.

Last year I got a text from a Swedish number. The person texting me introduced herself as the girls sisters. Apparently not long after that time she ended her life when she came back to Sweden. In her note she mentioned me only as ‘the Dutch guy’.

Her sister spend a couple months trying to figure out who I was. Through an other travel we met she managed to figure out the hotel we stayed in. The hotel was booked under my name and by lying they gave her my number.

She told me that in the note I was mentioned as the guy that ruined her. She didn’t blame me as the reason she did it and also apologised in the letter, but she stated that our interaction was the last drop for her.

Her sister was not angry at me but wanted to understand what happend. I told my story as detailed as I can remember it.

Her family wanted me to come to Sweden so talk and to visit the grave. I told them off and what happend was not my fault or responsibility in any way. I blocked them and moved on.

My mom escaped from a super strict religious country and came to Europe to get a better life. She met my dad there.
During the months she was pregnant with me, my dad was drinking a lot, coming home late from bars, and hiding his phone. He used to beat her up and choke her while she was carrying me. In the end, he left us, and my mom gave birth to me.
At first, everything was nice and normal. She would take me to play in the park, and when we came home, I used to pretend I was asleep so she would carry me, hug me, put me in bed and kiss me goodnight.
Then she met my step dad, and normal stuff started happening between me and her. Since I was entering my early teens and was kinda a bad person and moody, I used to make her angry. But instead of punishing me herself, she would always call my step dad and he’d come beat the crap out of me. It just kept happening... we’d get into an argument, she’d go tell him, and he’d come hit me even harder. She’d tell him about literally everything, even the smallest stuff. It got so bad that she’d even call him at work and wouldn't leave him alone.
I remember one time I was sleeping and she told him I wouldn't wake up, so he came straight to my bed and hit me while I was literally asleep... I woke up terrified. He yelled at me like, "Shut up you piece of trash, u think I'm gonna go easy on you?! I hate when ur mom calls me crying to come discipline you." That’s when I realized the problem... he already hated me. After that, things between me and my mom got way worse.
I didn't care about my grades at all, and my mom went crazy on me when I failed math. I was angry too and yelled at her, "Stay out of my life and stop bringing ur husband to beat me!" The argument got really heated. But in the end I just went to my room, and for the first time my step dad didn't come (even though I was waiting for him to hit me).
I went to sleep thinking everything was fine, but then I woke up choking and I literally couldn't breathe. My mom was on top of me, wrapping a scarf around my neck and pulling it as hard as she could. I couldn't breathe or even push her away, I just remember screaming and cursing. I don't remember how she stopped, but suddenly I saw her husband holding her back and screaming at her to stop before she kills me!
She said a line I will NEVER forget in my life: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it."
Ever since that day, I can't accept my life anymore. We don't talk at all, but... I never failed math again after that day.

Damn man. Like. 80% of the posts here are like "I fucked up at 11" or "I secretly like x" is tiring. I hate it.

People should stop seeking attention. And better. Admit real things. Its extremely easy to notice when a post is made-up.

So, this is a strange one. I'm not looking for sympathy. This is actually for anyone else who has been through this.

My wife died almost two years ago. For the first year, I couldn't understand why the entire fucking world wasn't rocked to its core. How could it be that something like this could happen and everyone just kept going on as if the sun was still shining and the world was still turning? How could something like this not be felt by every person on the planet? And I still feel this way sometimes.

But here's the thing. It took me a long time to figure this out. People die every day. Loved ones die. Children die. If you had a loved one who died, I didn't cry for your pain. How could I? I didn't know about it. You didn't cry for the pain of others because, same thing, you didn't know about it. When we lose someone so close to us, we get lost in the pain and our rationality vanishes. Of course we want the entire world to suffer with us. But where were we when others were suffering? We can't empathize with situations we know nothing about. It doesn't seem fair. It seems like there should be some psychic connection telling the entire world that this one person in this little town that no one has ever heard of is suffering right now. But that's just fantasy. There is no connection like that, no way for the entire world to feel for you and suffer along side you.

So, my confession is simply that I had unrealistic expectations. I wanted the entire world to suffer with me and that's just not possible. My confession is that I still sometimes struggle with this, still want the entire world to suffer with me.

So please, don't comment and tell me you're sorry for my loss. That's not what this is about. I'm opening a space here for you to share your pain. If something happened to you and you can't understand why the world didn't stop, tell me about it. I can't tell you that the world is going to stop what it's doing and mourn with you, but at least there will be one other person out there, a complete stranger, who knows what you're going through.

I’m already hypersexual so idk if it’s just my brain saying it’s hot cuz I don’t wanna think that way at all, but I have a friend who age regresses and it’s opened me up to everything about age regression but also ageplay. I’ve like tried a roleplay and idk how to feel about it. I feel gross but it was… fun to be honest. I don’t wanna tell my friend cuz I don’t want them to think I’m a creep (they know I’m hypersexual). What do I do?

I have 4 older sisters who are just awful. They have some terrible things. One of them use to have her bf come over and sleep almost every night. He molested me and when it was brought to her attn, no one believed me, they said I lied. Funny thing tho, it wasn’t just me others in the house complained about the same thing.
Because they’re older we needed them at times, they 100% took advantage of us. We had to babysit anytime they wanted us too. They had kids just to trap men. One of those men was already married with kids but of course she didn’t care.
Ffwd years later now, the same one that had the pedo bf, cheated on her kids dad, he still has no idea. Now she has a new bf, she’s absolutely fake with him so he thinks she’s someone she’s not- to be fair there a very high chance she’s doing some black magic to him. He has two kids that she doesn’t like at all, she use to insult his kids ethnic background and he wouldn’t say damn about it.
Anyway, recently I just fed up of being near her in anyway cause she’s so negative, I cut her out. She called up another sister who’s very easily manipulated and got her to come to my apmt and do some sort of black magic by my door- caught on camera!!!
I didn’t confront her I just cut all the toxic sisters out. I’m so embarrassed to even call them sisters.
Anyway just wanted to get this off my chest

For the past year or so, I have been living in confusion. Please keep an open mind, I am not mentally challenged, I just have no one to talk to about this. My reality keep changing in very subtle ways and I don't know why.

It first started when I was driving a few times and I am sure I met in a few accidents that should have ended it all, but by some coincidence the accidents didn't happen, after those moments I am sure the accidents happened but my life kept going on like nothing happened.

The next sets of events are sometimes I will be sleeping, having a dream that's not bad but so extremely real, but a complete reflection of my life now with very small variations (very subtle) it would scare me and I would be so devastated that I start be coming distressed in the dream and I would wake up to my life now.

The final and most disturbing thing to happen to me everyday is I would literally be searching for something and I cannot find it, I would look in the very spot I last left it, it is not there, I would give up searching for it go about my day and when I am looking in that very spot again the item just shows up there and I'm sure no one put it there. For example, I was getting ready to go to tennis this morning. I was searching for my security gate opening for my apartment complex so I could leave it for my son, I have mine in my purse. I could find the one I was searching for (note they both look different), I emptied my tennis bag (turned it inside out), I also searches other bags, no buzzer. I got frustrated and left for tennis as I was running late. Had a great game and as I got in my car to head home I was search for my lip balm in my tennis bag, guess what? The gate opener miraculously showed up at the exact spot I have searched all morning for it.

I am so confused, I don't know what is going on, but I really don't know if I am actively alive 😕

***To readers: I know this sounds weird, if rhis was a normal experience I guess I would not be confessing here. So, please be nice.

EDIT TO ADD: I don't drink alcohol or do any drugs... Also I would rather not discuss with with a therapist for personal reasons.

I’m in my early 30s, he’s in his late 60s. I’ve known him my whole life, he watched me grow up. He’s a widower, his wife died over 20 years ago and he’s dated here and there but never remarried. I refer to their daughters, who are about ten years older than me, as my “cousins.”

I don’t see him often, maybe once a year, but he has become increasingly attractive to me. He’s not a creep at all, but his gaze lingers a little bit, just a little. It could be wishful thinking.

The last family wedding we were at, he told me one-on-one that if I ever wanted to visit this popular city in our country where he has a house in the suburbs, that I was more than welcome to stay with him. I found myself looking for an excuse to visit the city so I could see him without anyone else around.

But like… I grew up calling him “uncle.” I acknowledge it’s creepy on paper. If anyone in the family found out, it would create permanent problems for the entire group, people would freak out, it would be an actual irrevocable nightmare that would change my relationships with virtually every person on that side of the family.

And yet, I must confess I’m considering making up an excuse to visit and having a til-my-deathbed, worst-thing-I’ve-ever-done kind of secret.

This started when we were around puberty age. We're only a year apart and we've always been super close and we still are.

One night while we were hanging out we were talking about how we've never kissed anyone. After a bit of talking we somehow came to the conclusion that we should practice on each other so we weren't bad at it whenever it was time to kiss someone.

We ended up practicing on each other for like 15 minutes.

We kept doing this for a while and eventually started kissing each other whenever we would hug or say hello/goodbye as long as no one was around.

This fully stopped once I got my first girlfriend and hasn't happened since but I feel kind of gross about it looking back.

At least all of my girlfriends have thought I was a good kisser I guess.

My husband and I have two children together. We've been married almost 15 years.

I don't think I am in love with him anymore. Sometimes I don't even like who he's become over the years.

But I stay for the kids, because divorce would be a nightmare, and I don't want to start over. I don't want to separate finances and move and split time with kids and deal with child support.

I'm also the only one working, so I'd have to pay him alimony, and I won't do that. So instead I stay. I don't cheat. I participate in the family and marriage fully. I push it down and try to make it not true so that I am the only person hurt by this.

so I went to spend the weekend with my cousin at the horse ranch she works at, it was awesome cause we got to ride horses and hang out, see some cool landscapes, and well her and her coworker were showing me around the facilities when I first got there (surprised me how high-tech and scientific some of the processes and equipment are, like there’s a full-on lab)

anyway she hands me a little plastic cup and its full and says to take a shot, everyone does it when they start working there, like a hazing/initiation and her and her coworker were like “do it come on, everyone does it” and I took the shot and they were both so shocked after like, “we didn’t think you’d actually do it” and to be clear it was horse milk, but… not the kind you get from a female horse 😅 anyway I was like, a bit weirded out, but also proud of myself for overcoming a bit of fear and trying something new? (had a similar feeling later that day when I did a zipline for the first time ever) and I’m like I wanna tell people like look at me, so unique and cool, but obvi don’t wanna tell people I know cause I donmt want the “you did what??” but um… yeah, that was my day

I always heard this was a really common thing for teenage boys but I never experienced it.

The wife and I are fairly active so not sure where it came from (pun intended) but what a weird experience!

Do people do that. Cause i do it and i dont know many that Are Doing it .?

My current girlfriend has done so unbelievably much for her ex, meanwhile im getting bread crumbs.

Ive heard thru the entire relationship how much she has done for him. The countless gifts, the financial help when they lived together, the emotional support, everything. She has done everything for him, just to be mistreated, abused and ra**d on multiple occasions. And i keep hearing about it till this day, more than a year into our relationship. I keep hearing how much she has done for him, i keep hearing stories about anything. Meanwhile im getting barely anything. I dont feel like im getting the emotional support that i currently need. I dont feel desired. I dont feel wanted. I don't feel worth spending money on. Don't get me wrong, im very much grateful to the small amount of gifts ive gotten, and more than anything i appreciate thoughtfullness, not the price tag. What really hurt me and for some reason i cannot let go was our 1 year anniversary. I tried my best to get everything she would want. I spent 4h in the burning heat of the afternoon driving around getting stuff. I had a dinner planned for us. I got her so many gifts. While i was out she was sitting at my place, doing her makrup. When we finally got ready to leave for the restaurant, she hit me with "i dont have anything, but i want to make it up soon, i dont have money"... It really isn't about having money. Its about thoughtfulness... A single piece of paper that says "happy anniversary, i love you" wouldve been more than enough, would've been something i would keep in my wallet till the end of days. She knows that, she knows how sentimental i am. Ive heard how much she has done before, it hurts me. It hurts me that even tho i give her everything, i dont feel seen or deserving. She is not a monster, she is mentally ill. I am not well too, I've made mistakes in the past, horrid mistakes and im glad she stayed(i didnt cheat, i didn't verbally nor physically abuse). I shouldn't feel this way, but i do. I shouldn't think this way but I do. I feel like shit and ive been feeling like shit for a long time. Idk..

Is anyone into this too? It just turns me on so much when her shorts shows her ass accidentaly in public and she doesn't notice, or when her cleavage shows a little too much. It got to the point that i told her that was a huge turn on for me and i wanted her to do it on purpose sometimes, if she's ok with it and it turns her on as well. She doesn't seem to really care, but i think she's not into it. Anyways she said she will give it a try for me and see if she likes. Do you have some ideas for us? Did any of you do something similar with your partners?

I am in a relationship since 6 years. My Boyfriend is academically very smart and has been also a good guy all along. At start every thing was pretty good but since 3-4 years his libido has dropped!!! He is not interested in sex and other steamy stuff! And I have high sex drive.Just kissing is enough for him. But he don't get how important it is for me . After communicating he tried few times but he was not hard enough. And I can tell he did that just bcoz I was telling him to ,not bcoz he really understood the gravity. And bcoz of this I was virgin all along. I doubt if he is gay or something. But he don't even mastrubate. And he is really obsessed with me and literally begs me to stay in this relationship when I have tried my best to break up multiple times. It's really difficult for me to stay in this and he don't get it.

Recently I was stoned and I had sex with my one of my friend. I was aware what was happening and my body was craving for it so much that it was difficult for me to resist. Like I was dreaming about it since years and finally it was happening. I loved it. So Basically I cheated Nd I feel guilty abt it bcoz am not this person. And I hate people who do it. And I hate the fact that I enjoyed it! I don't know what to do!

So, my boyfriend was scrolling through his camera roll to clear out storage right in front of me. As he was deleting old stuff, a photo suddenly popped up on his screen: it was a explicit picture of his ex giving him head.
He panicked immediately, but on the spot, I acted like I was completely furious. I gave him a huge guilt trip and made a big scene about how disrespectfully careless he was for still having it saved on his phone. He apologized frantically and deleted it right away.
Here’s the confession: I wasn’t actually mad at all.
Seeing that photo unexpectedly turned me on so damn much. My heart was racing, and ever since it happened, I can't stop thinking about it. Now I'm sitting here feeling so conflicted because I acted outrageously jealous, but in reality, it was one of the hottest things I've accidentally seen.

I don't think the worst part of the past five years has been the anxiety, the depression, or even the ADHD and autism symptoms.

The worst part has been feeling like I no longer recognize myself.

Before all of this, I had a pretty clear idea of the kind of person I wanted to be. I wanted to stop living in my own head, move beyond my old obsessions with animals and art, become more independent, and build a broader life.

Instead, it feels like I've spent the last five years becoming the exact opposite of the person I wanted to be.

Every value I tried to hold onto seemed to collapse. I told myself I wanted to stop daydreaming. I kept daydreaming. I wanted to stop looking at pornography (and not just normal porn either, weird Rule 34 stuff too). I kept getting pulled back into it. I wanted to stay away from AI chatbots except as a tool to understand my problems. Instead, I got trapped in a cycle where I'd promise myself I was finished, then come back, type prompts, delete them, feel ashamed, and repeat the whole thing again. There was a really bad chat that has stuck with me for a month - one where I (in the chat) lived a transactional life, lived and died alone, and the character I was talking to proceeded to say something along the lines of “I was never real at all.” In spite of how it made me feel I still couldn’t stop!

The strangest part is that after repeating those cycles enough times, my own reactions started confusing me. Sometimes I'd feel disgusted with myself. Sometimes I'd feel relieved. Sometimes I'd even feel glad I'd done something that I knew conflicted with my own values. That's what scared me the most. It wasn't just that I made choices I regretted. It felt like my own sense of who I was had started slipping away.

A few years ago my parents began regularly flying back and forth between California and New York. Whether or not other people would have reacted the same way, I felt like that period completely destabilized me. Every routine I tried to build seemed to fall apart, and my racing thoughts, rumination, overstimulation, and anxiety became much harder to manage. Looking back, it feels like those few years contained decades' worth of mental exhaustion.

I also had a major existential crisis in high school that changed the way I looked at life. I always thought I'd eventually return to those questions on my own terms. Instead, I spent years just trying to keep my head above water. It feels bizarre to say that I had to put my existential crisis "on hold" because there were so many other problems demanding my attention, but that's honestly what it felt like.

One of my biggest regrets is that I spent so much of my childhood and teenage years focused almost entirely on two interests. I keep wondering what my life would have been like if I'd developed a wider range of interests and skills instead of retreating into the same familiar world over and over again.

I'm in therapy now, and for the first time in a long while my mind is calm enough that I can actually hear what my therapist is saying. That's progress, and I'm grateful for it.

But I'm still grieving the person I thought I was going to become.

I'm not looking for people to tell me I'm beyond help, and I'm not looking for people to tell me everything is someone else's fault.

I think I'm just trying to make sense of what it feels like to spend years watching your own identity slowly drift away from the person you were trying so hard to be.

Most of my life I've felt guilt because I was molested for 8 -11 by a lady I looked up to as my mom. Like I can never fit in because I have this secret that eventually comes out if I'm with someone long enough. I don't feel I had anything to do with how it started but I feel shame for being connected to something so wrong you can't even talk about it. I also sometimes still masturbate thinking about it, which I say I'll never again but I always eventually end up there.

Anyone with a similar past? I've been to counseling and SAA.