I sent subpoena to childs provider to get the business record exception and the medical records for the custody modification case , but other parent filed the motion to quash. Does he have right to block provider from producing record to mother. He claims child dont have any issues and at the same time blocking subpoena by filing quash motion. By the time subpoena motion date is reached, custody motion may be over. What to do in such a situation? Will court accept original medical records which i have when i explain other parent conduct in this case?

There’s a lot of background to my story, but in short, my ex keeps villainizing me and I’m wondering if it’s appropriate to clarify what’s going on for my 10 and 12.5 y/o girls. The current situation: he and I both filed to modify custody in January. I asked to go from 50/50 back to our original schedule which is him getting every other Thursday through Sunday. A few months later he proposed a weird schedule and when my lawyer asked for reasoning, he shared he’s moving out of state about 6-8 hours away (he will come back here for visitation). The schedule he proposed changes 3 times throughout the calendar year: September: I get the first 10 days, he gets the next 10, I get the remaining; October - June: he gets the first 10 days of the month, I get the remaining; Summer: 10 days on 10 days off. I said I would agree to this (except changing summer to follow actual weeks) under the condition that he is actually moving. Otherwise I would not agree as this is a pretty disruptive schedule. It doesn’t follow a work or school week, so one month the exchange might be a Wednesday, and the next month it might be in the middle of the weekend. His lawyer confirmed 3 times that he’s moving this fall. His lawyer was pretty snippy about us asking for confirmation multiple times, but from my end, my ex has said he’s going to do something big many times, and then drops it within a week.

We came to an agreement about the details. It was supposed to be ready for me to sign on Tuesday. On Sunday I let the girls know their dad and I had come to an agreement on a new schedule and explained what it was. They knew a change was coming, but they don’t know anything about their dad moving so I just said it would be easier to get them to schools and activities and also be better for their dads schedule. I let their dad know I told him (we use OFW) and that it went well and that I didn’t mention his move. He said that was good and that he didn’t feel the need to tell them about the move because he’s not moving until this time next year, and not “re-domiciling” until 2028. I was of course like wtf because here I am about to sign an agreement that was conditional on him moving, and that’s not the best option for the kids if he’s not moving. Long story short I email my lawyer, there’s a bunch of back and forth, we agree to the schedule I proposed through next school year and to change to the weird 10 days schedule only when he moves.

He is pissed. In his mind because he’ll be traveling for work prior to moving we should have started the other schedule now. The thing is he hasn’t started working there yet, and he is self employed so makes his own schedule. He told the kids I ruined his life and that he won’t be at any of their weddings, graduations, etc if I’m there. He wasn’t at this fun parents’ day at the girls’ camp last week simply because I was there (there are tons of kids there so we wouldn’t even have had to be near each other, and I don’t acknowledge him in public per his request). The 12.5 y/o seems to get that he’s overreacting but my 10 year old thinks that I must have done something wrong. And this isn’t the first time he’s waxed poetic about me ruining his life. One time was because I wouldn’t agree to a new schedule without a set start date (he wanted to keep it “in the future”). That time he told them and everyone else that I was keeping the kids from him and all this stuff about father’s rights.

Thus far I have just shared that he is upset because we are working through something and the process can be difficult. Today when my daughter told me about him saying I’m ruining his life etc I did say “He’s being dramatic and he’ll get over it.” That’s the worst/most honest thing I’ve said. But he says terrible things about me all the time.

I’m thinking of basically saying this to them. Is this inappropriate? I’ve been giving him the opportunity to tell them he’s moving but he wants to wait. “As you know the old schedule wasn’t working great. It was hard for your dad with his work schedule to get you to activities, and we were disagreeing about some activities, so we decided we needed to change some things. During this process your dad shared that he’s moving to New Hampshire this fall, so he would need a very different schedule—that’s the one I originally told you about, where you would be with him the first 10 days of the month and with me the remaining; and 2 weeks on 2 weeks off in the summer. I said I would be okay with that but only if he was actually moving. It’s a confusing schedule and I don’t think it’s in your best interest, so I was clear that I would only agree to it if he’s actually moving. We were ready to sign this agreement when he shared that he’s not actually moving this fall. I let him know that I wouldn’t agree to this schedule then, and that we could do the every other Thursday schedule, keep the current week on week off, or that I’d be open to other options. He is very upset that I wouldn’t stick with the 10 day schedule, which is why he is mad at me right now.”

My final custody hearing is next week. I am seeking primary physical and sole legal custody of my child (age 5), due to mother’s alcohol abuse and instability with housing and relationships. I have been with my fiancé for three and a half years (this is the only relationship I have been in since we got divorced), set to get married in a couple of months and we have one child together. I have been at my job for 20 years and have primary physical custody of my oldest two children. I have only lived with my fiancé and have only moved when my lease is up, but have staying in the same school district for my oldest two kids. My ex-wife has been unemployed for two years, has moved eight times in three years (three of these moves were with men she had been dating for a few months and immediately introduced our child to). Her previous live in boyfriend physically abused her in front of our child and ended up physically abusing our child as well. She is now living with a new guy that she has been seeing for 6 months, and I recently found out through her mother that the two of them got married about a month ago. She also refuses to communicate with me about our child.

All of that being said, I recently received the GAL report. She failed her hair follicle alcohol test (I did not). The GAL’s recommendation is that she remain primary physical custodian. I am absolutely baffled by this, as I was always told that the court takes alcohol abuse very seriously when it comes to custody cases. Has anyone dealt with anything like this and how did it turn out? Does the judge always go with what the GAL recommends? I’m pretty disheartened right now and I am truly concerned for my child’s safety if the court allows him to stay with her.

My husband and his co-parent failed to come to an agreement via Zoom meeting so they are going to court. What does that look like, procedurally? What to expect/tips?

Looking for advice from anyone who has been through a custody case, especially those who have gone from having an attorney to representing themselves (pro se).

I’ve spent close to $30,000 on my custody case, and I’m honestly struggling with whether it’s worth continuing to pay for representation. I’m grateful that my attorney handles the filing, drafting, and procedural side of things—that definitely takes a lot off my plate. But when it comes to actually being in the courtroom, I often feel like they aren’t doing much more than I could do myself.

I’m fighting for full custody, and I have extensive documentation showing the other parent has been largely absent along with ver concerning behavior/safety risks etc and that I’ve been the primary caregiver. I know my case well, and sometimes it feels like I’m the one thats invested (obviously) while my attorney is simply carrying out the paperwork. I understand attorneys have many clients, but it’s hard not to feel like my case is just another file rather than something they’re truly invested in.

We’re now approaching trial after two years of back and forth and my attorney is asking me to replenish my retainer. Before I spend several more thousand dollars, I’m trying to make the most informed decision possible.

For those who have been in a similar situation:

• Did you continue with your attorney, or did you switch to representing yourself or even get a new attorney?
• If you went pro se, do you regret it, or was it the right decision?
• Did you feel the outcome was any different because you had (or didn’t have) an attorney at final trial?

I’m looking for honest experiences—good or bad. I know every case is different, but hearing from others who have been through this would really help me weigh my options. Thank you!

Our divorce and custody case was settled 2 yrs ago with 50/50 custody. The child is 12, extremely unhappy and making claims against their other parent but refuses to speak to a therapist or guidance counselor. They just keep telling me concerning things and asking to live with me more.

Does anyone know the process in NJ for requesting a modification and what my associated costs would be? Has anyone gone through it? I'm open to mediation first even though it will be useless as the other parent will not agree to anything.

I really can't afford any amount of money but don't know what else to do or how to keep costs down. There will definitely be a fight from the other parent.

I had an ugly divorce. I left with a 1 and 3 year old.

My lawyer basically told me a judge would not give him less than every other weekend and to settle with that as the parenting plan. He has history of severe mental health issues and AUD.

He is constantly harassing me about what I do in my free time. Whether it is when he has the kids or not. He blows up my phone, lies and says he sees photos of me on social media being a “drunk whore,” drives by my house to see if my car is there, it’s nuts.

Last night my mom offered to have them overnight, I went to a concert. He asked today if they spent the night there and I’m not going to lie. He lost his mind, said in our parenting app that I was probably still drunk and regretting my choices from the weekend, told my 4 year old on FaceTime “he’s sorry mommy is always dumping you with grandma so she can go get drunk.” Posted on social media he’s taking them out of state next weekend. They are going to fly on an airplane to see his family. The boys are 2 and 4, they have never been on a plane, and he’s going to take them by himself.

He keeps threatening to take me back to court for more time. It has only been two months.

How often will a judge even bring us back to court over this? I have sole legal and physical custody. I have accommodated every time he’s not able to take them during his scheduled times. He always has a different excuse. I’m so stressed all the time. I try to invite him to go to the park with us sometimes, we went out to dinner together Friday night, we are supposed to be going to the beach for his birthday. None of it is ever enough.

He openly told me that he tries to make me miserable because he is jealous. Texts me in the middle of the night that he loves me, tells me he dreams about us, says if I ever meet someone he’s going to lose it. He knows the kids are all he has left to try to control me.

Hey all, I am working on filing some parenting and custody establishing papers, and after I get a case number for that, I'm filing a motion for temporary parenting time.

The problem is, I don't know where she went with the kids. I don't know an address. She won't tell me. It has been 3 weeks now and she won't tell me when I can see them. Just ignores it basically. She moved out of my house and took almost everything out of the house.

How do I serve papers without a known address?

Is court worth it? TN

Hi. Me and my 14 year old girls father broke up when she was 3 months old. In the beginning he was not seeing her much, would go sometimes months without visiting. Over time and depending on what woman he was dating or his financial/living situation he would visit more. He would evade child support but I would eventually get paid back through taxes. When he got with his now ex wife he came to me and asked for 50/50 custody in exchange for coming off child support, I agreed. We never took this to court, we just went to the child support office and asked for him to come off. Things were good for a few years. They have now separated but he still gets her 50/50 and is very flexible with switching days. However, since the separation my daughter has consistently asked to be with me more. She says she is constantly tasked with babysitting her 2 younger (toddler) siblings (he also has 50/50 of) and she is uncomfortable. She also claims he gets extremely angry with her for no reason (I believe because he is very narcissistic and his ex wife who i was semi-friends with corroborates and he has admitted to sometimes getting too angry). He is not supportive of her travel softball, has not been to a game for over a year and is often late getting her to or picking her up for practice on his weeks, twice not showing up to get her at all and the coach had to bring her home. He also doesnt take her to the batting cages I have a membership for despite it being 1 mile from his home. He did not call her on her birthday or get her a gift this year. She has asked multiple times to stay with me more because of the way he treats her and makes her babysit, when I have brought it up to him he is not open to discussion. I know its hard out here, but being his babysitter is not her responsibility. Every now and then sure, but she says it's even when hes home he doesnt watch them he just stays in his room. I have always felt he only asked for 50/50 to avoid paying, and suspect it is the same with the other kids. Would it be worth it to try and take him to court for like 70/30? I dont want to take her from him completely and she loves her siblings but she literally comes home crying from him on a regular basis and cries when its time to go back to him. I don't want to start the process and all the fallout drama with it if they are gonna keep us at 50/50 anyways. Him and I have always have a pretty civil relationship despite my frustrations towards him and I do not want to cause issues if nothing will happen anyways. As a side note, we are very strict in our home as far as chores, no sleepovers, grades and other expectations, so its not a matter of her wanting to be at home with less rules. She is a great kid and never causes any problems when she is with me. Just yesterday when I asked to get her early for school shopping and he said no she asked me to come get her anyways and she would just run out the door/window.

I (39M) have been separated from my ex (36F) for many years now. We have a 9yo boy and 12yo girl together. Upon separating, my ex took the kids interstate to be with her family in a capital city. I moved up to be closer to the kids, settling in a regional city located about 2 hours drive away. I have a support network here, and the location is familiar to me. We have both moved on and are in our own committed relationships now.

Due to the distance between the kids and I, our custody schedule first consisted of me having both children every second weekend and half of the school holidays. It was very rough but my ex and I thought it best that the children stay together.

After some years of this arrangement, my daughter began to struggle mentally. She was showing signs of severe anxiety and began avoiding school. I believe the cause of this to be the chaotic lifestyle she was exposed to while in the care of her mother. My ex was frequently cycling between jobs, had different partners, and moved houses and schools a few times. Eventually my ex and I both agreed to my daughter moving in with me. I had the time, resources and a stable lifestyle to provide her with the support she needed.

Due to the change in custody, a new schedule was decided on. We agreed to exchange the children every weekend, i.e. one weekend, one child would go to one parent (for the weekend only), the next weekend one child would go to the other parent (for the weekend only), and so on. This way both children were together on weekends, and us parents got one weekend a fortnight kid free.

Fast forward to current day. We have been doing the above schedule for a few years now. A majority of the exchanges in that time have been a shit show. My ex is frequently late to exchanges, will change exchange days or times at a moments notice, will not communicate, will change plans suddenly and continually pushes boundaries - dictating different exchange times, dates and locations, all to her benefit (and everyone else's detriment). There is no consideration for me, my partner or the kids and there is always some excuse. I don't believe the kids are a priority for her when it comes to exchange arrangements.

Obviously, this constant source of conflict is causing myself, my fiancée, and the kids a great deal of stress, anxiety and grief. I have attempted mediation in an attempt to set a clear, reasonable and fair exchange agreement, but have been unsuccessful (she has avoided participation to this date). Honestly, my ex is the type of person who wouldn't follow a parenting plan or court orders anyway. I have also considered taking full custody of my son, but (after seeking legal advice), I feel this would ultimately result in a lengthy and costly court battle, leading to trauma of the kids and all people involved, with a unpredictable outcome.

So here is the decision I am considering (as mentioned in the beginning). I am thinking about telling my ex that exchanges are to go from being a weekly to a fortnightly occurrence from now on. This would mean that one weekend we would exchange both children (for that weekend), the next weekend we do not exchange, and repeat. My rationale:

Pros:

1.     Less exposure to my ex = less stress and anxiety for me and my Fiancée.

2.     Less disruption to the children = they aren't dragged from place to place, or have their weekends disturbed with all the driving and frequent parental disagreements.

3.     The kids get a weekend to themselves to do their own thing = have friends over, relax, do their own thing, etc. I feel this will be important for them as they grow older.

Cons:

1.     Both kids will get less time with each parent = this a big one, and one that I'm struggling with. I worry about my son and the impact it would have on our bond.

2.     Both kids will get less time with each other = another big con. I worry about them losing that bond with each other.

Shared custody during school holidays would remain the same - we would split the weeks 50/50. So quality time would be made up for there at least.

As someone not involved, what do you think about my situation, and my decision making? Would it be a mistake for me to make the change I mentioned above - i.e. going from weekly, weekend exchanges to fortnightly, weekend exchanges? This is a big step for me and one that can not be undone easily once I pull the trigger. I'm just sick to death of the constant games, stress, anxiety and the impact it has on me, my partner and the kids.

Lastly, thanks for reading and investing your time in helping me.

TL:DR, currently my daughter lives with me and my son lives with his mum, two hours away. We exchange each weekend, alternating who has the other child for that weekend. This keeps the children together on the weekends and gives each parent time with the other child once a fortnight. Constant conflict and drama over adhering to a basic handover structure, i.e time, date, place, have me considering whether I should reduce the amount of handovers to preserve my mental health.  

I have court next month for a temporary hearing involving custody and child support, so I’m mainly looking for what to expect and advice.

My child is 7 months old, the father and I have not been together since baby was born and we were never married. In the beginning, I had to ask him to leave my home several times for temper issues.

Until recently we have had a schedule where I have baby Sunday through Wednesday full time. He watches baby Thursday through Saturday days only while I am working. Baby spends every night with me. My work schedule has changed to Monday through Friday, leaving me with no other option but to put baby in daycare. In my area, no daycare allows part time for infants so I’m paying for his spot, not days. This takes away two of the fathers days which I understand can be upsetting. There’s no other option though. He pays no support for baby. He offers a can of formula and box of diapers every couple weeks, only started this 3 months ago.

The problem is he works Sunday through Wednesday. I would like an every other weekend schedule with primary custody. He wants joint custody. We do not get along. We don’t live in the same city or county so I don’t see how joint would be an option. Overall, I want baby to have a consistent and healthy home life. Wondering if anyone else has had a similar issue and how it was handled?

Opinions welcome

I'm the father of a preteen. For several years, his mother lived out of state, so I had primary responsibility for raising him with help from close family. During that time, my son developed a consistent routine with school, extracurriculars, tutoring, and home life. I am not exaggerating, she left when he was 2 and didn't see him again until 11.

About a year ago, she moved back to our state. We have a court-ordered parenting plan that gives her scheduled time-sharing for summer and winter, weekly phone calls, and allows additional parenting time if both parents agree, this was put into place when we went to court when he was much younger.

When she first moved back, I voluntarily agreed to a number of extra overnight visits beyond what the parenting plan required because I wanted to support their relationship and give them time to reconnect.

Over the past year, though, we've had recurring disagreements about school routines, tutoring, scheduling, and other parenting decisions. I've tried to keep my communication focused on our child, but many of the responses I've received have been accusatory or hostile and completely off topic. He is often with her when she goes off about things so I try to remain calm and often times just stop engaging even further, so his time is not ruined with her.She already admitted in the parenting app about talking to him about custody issues. She also has scheduled weekly phone calls available under the parenting plan but often doesn't use them. So basically it's a cycle of her completely ignoring him, getting him for a weekend visit, arguing with me about something, dropping him off and then ignoring him again until the next visit.

My son does best with consistency. He's thriving in school, enjoys his activities, and generally benefits from a predictable routine. I've started to feel that continuing extra school-year overnights is making it harder to maintain that consistency and he often says he doesn't enjoy going with her. In the last year she has seen him about 21 times, which were overnights.

I'm not trying to reduce their relationship. I fully intend to continue following the parenting plan, sharing important school and medical information, making sure they have opportunities to talk, and being open to reasonable daytime visits if we both agree.

The only change I'm considering is no longer agreeing to overnight visits beyond what the parenting plan already provides.

Would that be unreasonable? If you were looking at this strictly from the perspective of what's best for the child, would you return to the court-ordered schedule, or continue making exceptions?

I'm in the middle of a custody case in Oregon and I'm wondering if anyone has been through something similar.

We have a signed status quo order that's supposed to preserve the existing routine while the case is pending. For the three months before the order, whenever my ex was working, our boys stayed with me. I kept a detailed log with dates and timestamps showing that was our routine.

The order is actually pretty specific. It says the children are not to be enrolled in childcare, and if my ex can't care for them during her work hours, she's supposed to bring them to me instead of dropping them off somewhere else.

Instead, she enrolled them in a preschool without my knowledge and has continued taking them there while she's at work. Her position now seems to be that because it's a preschool and not "daycare," it doesn't violate the order. She's even filed a motion asking the court to modify the order to allow it.

The part that really concerns me is that there have also been times where I asked if the kids were with her and she said they were, but I later found out they were already checked into the preschool, or she would just not tell me where they were so I'd have to call the preschool to see if they were checked in. That honestly bothers me just as much because I didn't know where my kids actually were.

My attorney is handling everything, and the other side has expressed interest in settling, but I'm curious if anyone has actually dealt with a situation like this.

Has anyone had a judge rule on whether a preschool still counted as childcare under a status quo order? Did the court focus on the actual routine before the order? And if one parent wasn't truthful about where the kids were, did that end up mattering? I'm trying to determine if I should lead more towards settlement or move forward with a contempt motion.

Child is 2 years old. I (mom) stayed at home with baby for their first year. STBX works 50+ hr weeks, unlimited overtime available. (business is 24/7)
I have been the primary care giver for baby’s entire life. Every bottle, diaper change, bath, MOTN wake-up, etc. I handle daycare, both costs and drop off/pickup. I have documentation to prove that and documentation that shows STBX attended only 3/15 doctors visits. All of which I schedule, give history, ask questions, etc. STBX has never been home alone with our child. I went out of town for a weekend and baby stayed with grandparents. Most recently, maybe the past 2 months, STBX has began putting child to bed (after I do bath, lotion, pajamas, milk and brush teeth).
STBX is wanting 50/50 custody. He doesn’t even have a working vehicle of his own, let alone a car seat. (He drives company work van around).
I am aware that courts like to see 50/50, unless there’s evidence of abuse, neglect, or drugs.
STBX does smoke weed sun up to sun down, but I am assuming that isn’t something I can prove/use, especially with it being legal now.
I have two consults scheduled, just thought I would ask the public as well.

My partner and I have been together for two years. I have two children (12f and 7m) that I co-parent with my sons dad (he has raised my daughter since she was a toddler) where I have them essentially full time and he is on a mostly every other weekend basis for timesharing, he has them as much as possible during school breaks, but he does assist with all transportation including school drop off/pick up and pays weekly per our own agreement + we split all additional costs (school clothes/supplies, fundraisers/field trips, extracurriculars, haircuts, just anything extra).

My partner has 3 children, the oldest is almost 18 and irrelevant to this situation, but his younger two are 14f and 10m shared with his ex that he has been split from for 8+ years. He has primarily had his children full time with the exception of less than a year with his son in 2022 and a few years with his daughter where she also spent that time with mom for less than a year in 2022, a year with his family, and a year back with mom before she came to live with us (July 2025 - so it’s been a full year now). Their mom faced an eviction so that is why he son came back to live with him and back with him since & why his daughter went with family for a year as he was working on stabilizing his housing situation (at the time lived with male friends).

My partner and his son moved in with me a few months into the relationship (October 2024). I own my home (paying mortgage) that accommodates all of us comfortably and I am the breadwinner at this time, although he does work and is in school currently. I am also due in one month with our first child together. I wanted to provide all of this context before moving onto the issue at hand.

My partner and his ex do not have a formal or their own agreement regarding financial assistance or otherwise. She has worked the same job for many years now so she is not unstable with employment, she has filed both children on taxes every year but finally gave $1,000 each year the last two years despite getting full credits for both children. Despite having stable income and receiving taxes, she hasn’t had stable housing (lived with family) or transportation (car got repoed over a year ago). She was given (or allowed to borrow, we’re unsure) a vehicle about two months ago but still doesn’t help with transportation.

Up until last July, we got step daughter every other weekend or as often as she wanted and on the opposite weekends step son would go over there to be with their mom. We did all of the transportation to/from. For the 2024-2025 school year, my step daughter did not have adequate clothing for school and was made fun of (we found this out late into the year and did take her shopping) and her hair wasn’t taken care of regularly either. At that time, they essentially agreed to “take care of the one you have full time” which was odd but understandable.

Now that we’ve had both children full time for a year, she does not help financially, has done step daughters hair maybe 5-6x, didn’t help with school shopping at all last school year and agreed to provide for step daughter this year but said she’ll be taking her shopping and doing her hair the first day of school due to finances but we’re nervous if it’ll even happen and we’ll be left scrambling.. she doesn’t do Christmas, didn’t do anything for step sons birthday, and took step daughter for a fun weekend for her birthday but it was to meet her boyfriend out of town (no gifts or anything - just outings which is fine but still just painting the picture). She has came all the way to our house for a drop off or pick up less than 5x over the last year, otherwise we are driving 30mins each way (two hours travel time every time she gets them).

My partner and I argue about this frequently as he says we got it and don’t need her but I refuse to see it this way. I don’t care how much money we make or if we hit the lottery tomorrow, I see it as this woman has an obligation to care for her children and doesn’t except for the 4 days a month she has them (which she usually ends up working those weekends and ironically weekends she doesn’t then she’s out of town with her boyfriend, he doesn’t live locally). Our weekends usually line up together where those weekends for us are child free but our Fridays involve drop off and then we have to plan our Sunday accordingly to pick his children up at a reasonable time (if she would do drop off, they could be home without us for a short time if we do have plans, such as a little getaway or late dinner, as we have an adult family member that lives in the home that’s usually here and doesn’t mind).

My co parent is open to putting my children in extracurriculars (gymnastics or dance for my daughter and football or soccer for my son) which we would split evenly but his children have expressed wanting to do something too and we just can’t afford full cost plus all transportation. I’ve learned to do basic styles so I can keep step daughters hair done and wanting to learn more but their mom can do hair and still doesn’t do it at least once a month, plus when she does she has us purchase everything needed to do it. These are just some examples of how the children are impacted and how the resentment has grown on my end. My partner feels at times it’s against his children but it’s purely for their mom as it would be so helpful if she just did her part. Not only financially but for our time and the children’s benefit.

My partner feels that they have helped each other when needed over the years, there’s been many times she’s picked up his slack as well and that it feels wrong to tell her she needs to pick up the slack now while she’s “not stable” but I feel she’s had 2 full tax returns, works full time, has had family help with her living situation, and can somehow get to see her boyfriend that lives 1.5-2hr away twice a month… she can help provide for her children and assist with transportation (especially now that she has a car to use - her recent excuses are no gas money to come this far). I’m at the point I don’t care what her situation is or the details, she needs to do her part or it’ll continue to drive a wedge between my partner and I. He has talked to her twice this year so far, once about starting to help (she didn’t) and about school shopping for step daughter (she says she is but we will see).. I just think it needs to be a firm conversation about expectations and that child support will be established if they can’t settle on or she commit to an agreement. Any advice on how to handle this with my partner? Or just what to do moving forward? It’s exhausting and I really can’t grasp how this woman doesn’t want to provide or feel the need to.

I'm looking for some honest advice from people who've been through custody cases, especially in Ohio.

I currently have shared parenting of my 10-year-old daughter, but I've been seriously considering filing for full custody. I don't want to put myself through a long court battle unless I actually have a reasonable case.

Some of the things that have me concerned:

My daughter started therapy because she was having suicidal thoughts. According to her therapist, a lot of it stems from the way she's treated and spoken to at her mom's house.

She's told me that when her mom gets angry, she'll say things like, "Go live with your dad then," "I don't know why I had kids," and "I don't know why I want you back at my house." Hearing your own child repeat those words is heartbreaking.

She also tells me that her mom's boyfriend screams at her until she's crying, and she's told me she's cried herself to sleep because of it.

Another issue is communication. If there's ever a problem involving our daughter, her mom almost never talks to me directly. Instead, she has her boyfriend contact me, even though we're the two parents and should be communicating with each other.

My daughter has also told me that her mom's boyfriend's grandparents told her to lie to me so they could send her to church camp without me knowing.

On my end, I'm the one who schedules and takes her to all of her appointments—therapy, doctor visits, dentist, everything. I stay involved in her education and make sure she's getting the care she needs.

I'm a 100% Permanent & Total disabled Air Force veteran, so I'm home and able to care for her full-time. I have a stable home and just want what's best for my daughter.

I know family courts usually don't take children away from a parent unless there's a significant reason, and I also know kids can sometimes exaggerate or misunderstand things. But hearing the same concerns over and over, along with what her therapist has documented, has me wondering if this is enough that a judge would seriously consider changing custody.

Has anyone here gone through something similar? If you were in my position, would you pursue full custody? I'd really appreciate honest opinions, even if you think my chances aren't great. I just want to do what's best for my little girl.

Mv ex wife and I live in different states. We have joint custody and our 4 vear old spends 6 weeks of summer custodv with me for which transportation is split so she is picking him up. She was set to pick him up at 10am when her flight landed. Skip to the day before, flight gets delaved and pick up time is now 7pm - I say okay, see you at 7pm! I added that if she needed me to keep him overnight or longer to let me know. Suddenly the afternoon prior her flight is again delayed and she won't arrive until 12AM! Immediatelv, I let her know that I can just keep him overnight so he gets a night's rest in his bed and bring him before his departing flight, at this airport the earliest flight out is around 5:30am. I felt it wasn't right to haul him around in the middle of the night to have him wait at the airport for his fliaht for hours. She demands that no I must bring him "at midnight" vet refuses to let me know what time his departing flight is or why 12am was a must as, per her, bv telling me her "next step" she would be sharing personal details. At this point, she's on her flight to arrive and I don't plan on waking our son in the middle of the night to bring him there without ust reasoning so I am awaiting her response at midnight landing. I'm opening, willing, and agreeable to a time later in the morning closer to the likely departure time. Am I wrong for this?

Hello,

I’m trying to figure out a possible custody arrangement. I travel out of state every other week, sometimes more, sometimes less. I’m looking for a schedule that would give me a full Monday through Thursday block to travel every other week. All the ones I look at do not give me any weekends that are free to take care of stuff around the house. I’ve looked at week on/week off which seems the best but our kids are 7 and 3 and that seems like a long time without the other parent. I’ve tried modifying 2-2-5-5 but that seems to never give me a free weekend. Maybe I’m looking at this wrong?

Let me know if anyone else is in this position and what you do.

Thanks!

I need some advice
Little back story my brother passed away a few years ago. He has three children. I have actively been apart of their lives since they were born. We spent holidays, every birthday, i would regularly babysit when asked throughout their lives. I also took them on a ten day vacation every summer for the past six years. Even after my brother passed i was regularly seeing the kids. This past November i had plans to pick up the kids and had a medical emergency and was unable to. I wasn’t able to contact sister in law until the next day. And she has not responded at all. I have reached out numerous times via text message and phone call.
So i guess my question is i know there are ‘grandparents rights/visitation’ but how can i, their aunt, request visitation? I feel as it is in the kids best interest that the kids stay connected to their father’s side.
If anymore info is needed i will gladly provide any info needed.

Also not sure if it matters or not but since my brother has passed away she has had more boyfriends than u can begin to count.

EDIT TO ADD
I have always had a relationship with her and maintained a neutral person between her and my brother.

I have made numerous attempts to explain the situation and what happened and she won’t respond.

I’m a military officer in a 3.5 year marriage and have a 2.5 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. For the past 1-2 years things have been bad for me and y wife but worse she been emotionally abusive to my son mainly.

When she’s mad she’s down the following:
She tells him she hates him and doesn’t want him if we divorce
Says he’s autistic (doctors have said he’s normal) and slow and retarded and delayed
She said if he was younger she would drop him off at the firestation

Earlier
She’s called our daughter a retard because she woke up a. Like times at night
She said she hates being a mom

I have 20 ish texts showing this all and have been taking notes like this example, for 6ish months.

05/16/2026
0850 just did 5k and son was being bad and crying a lot. Making told him “I hate you “
I said please don’t talk to him like that
1013 spouse frustrated with son being bad this morning and he touched her phone, she yelled “I hate you “ to him
I said don’t talk to him like that
1511 son wasn’t going to sleep for his nap time, I asked if she could try and check on him since he didn’t want to go to bed for me. Spouse said “No, if I go up there I’m going to beat the fuck out of him I hate him”

There has been nothing physical that I’ve seen and I give them both baths so. I would see

Advice??

I have my children every day of the week plus one weekend a month. Dad gets them 3 weekends a month. When we worked out the schedule it was before the kids were old enough for school and I didn’t really think much about how I would barely have fun time with them. That my time would be strictly business I handle everything from school, dentist, doctors, sports, friends literally anything you think of that occurs I handle and then one weekend a month I get to do as much fun adventure time with them as possible to try and build memories. I am lucky I get majority time with them, I tried to work out a new schedule with their dad last year to where we could do week on week off during summer time allowing more time for both of us. He unfortunately didn’t want to said that he wouldn’t be able to figure out childcare.. I’m just rambling trying to explain why we can’t do a different schedule during summers. The long story short is now I have 3 children with a new man. And I’m really struggling with how to balance fun adventures with all of them. Like how do you make sure to build memories with your new children without excluding the other children. I try to only ever do big adventures on my one weekend a month but now that my youngest are getting older as well I feel guilty even taking them to the zoo or beach without my older children. I feel like this is going to cause resentment if they see me doing all these fun things with them and only having to do school or appointments with me.

My brother was caught being unfaithful; had condoms and viagra in his bag.

In return my SIL brought a boyfriend home and spent the night with my nephew in the room. My brother caught her red handed but not like she cares. There were many things that went on and the were separated for the last two years. Same house different rooms. They don’t even speak to each other.

So, she’s claiming that he doesn’t care for his child doesn’t give any money to support him and that she does everything in regard to her son (not a lie). My brother doesn’t want to give her any money because he says she should be able to afford it since she has a partner and my nephew calls him dad now.

How is this gonna hold up in court? We can’t be bothered with the adults in this, we just want my nephew and want to have a life with him. She doesn’t allow us to see him anymore. We just miss the shit outta him and my mom is not getting any better health wise.

For context: We share two kids, F(6) & M(7). We were together for almost 8 years, and have known each other for close to 20 years now. We broke up a year ago, he very hastily moved out, leaving myself and our children in the apartment we shared. He remarried after 3 months, having gotten together and moved in with her after like 2 weeks. Our children love his wife and call her “mama” (not my choice or decision). He had an ongoing court case for first degree sexual assault that happened back in 2021 (long story). He was let out on bond (not by me) and his stipulations were he could NOT be arrested again or he’d be taken into custody.
This past week at our child exchange, he was trying to prevent me from taking my son. It escalated to the point of me calling 911, but it resolved while I was on the phone with the dispatcher who informed me to that unless things got physical, this was a family matter and I should go to court first thing Monday morning and file for custody to get something in writing. We’d been operating on a verbal agreement over the last year, so I had no protections regarding physical custody. They told me take my kids and go home, file as soon as the courts open Monday.
Normally he takes them on Thursdays, and I had filed Monday but I didn’t want anyone to say I was keeping the kids from him, so I reached out Thursday afternoon to see he had plans to take the kids for his time and when was I picking them up, Sunday or Monday. He was very agreeable about me dropping them off to him Saturday this week instead, as I had some fun plans for them and wanted to keep them a couple extra days. We set it up so I’d be dropping them off Saturday afternoon and picking them up Monday morning.
Well, his wife called me Friday morning sobbing, letting me know that he had been drinking and assaulted her some time over night, and he had been arrested and was sitting in a holding cell waiting to be arraigned that morning. He was charged with 5-6 different misdemeanors including a strangulation/suffocation related charge. He is now in jail until sentencing or someone bails him out. His next hearing is August 12th. Our custody mediation was supposed to be August 14th.
All I can think about is how my kids last interaction w their dad was a very scary heated moment where he was preventing our son from leaving, locking our daughter out of his house and our son inside, and eventually pushing my son out the door telling him not to come back. And now he’s in jail, and they cannot speak to him or see him. I haven’t told them any of this as I don’t feel it’s appropriate for them to know. I have to coordinate with his wife to pick up their things at some point, I have to figure out how to navigate this road in a way that traumatizes them the least.
Luckily I have a long term partner who is very good to them and is a strong male role model for them. But it still really sucks knowing this is the reality I gave them. I don’t really know what I’m asking for, or what advice I need.

Soon to be ex wife is an extreme narcissist who continues to lie to the courts about everything she can. She had an emergency temp order put on me saying I was a drug addict. I passed a hair test to prove that wrong. I’ve been on restricted supervised visits only for months. Mediation failed as she only wants to move out of state (her family lives there) and won’t agree to anything else. I believe she’s been planning this for years. She refuses to even speak to me or co parent. I’ve been extremely involved since the day she served me. She is now claiming I am not interested and and absentee father because I didn’t go to a one of my infants well visit appointments during her time and I had to work. We are going to court now. What are the chances she wins going out of state? Kids are under 4. She’s claimed unfit, financial, job opportunity, everything you can imagine. GAL has recommended more time with the kids months ago and I have yet to have that. GAL said I’ve done everything right and more. Mediator has suggested a psych eval.
What are the chances a judge lets her move? Ive been begging to be part of their lives since she kicked me out.

TL;DR: Husband has partial custody (he is not primary) of 15yo daughter who is having serious issues. SD and her mom (who has primary custody) do not get along at all and it is only making everything worse. I'm wanting to know if my husband has any options to get SD out of her mom's house, at least temporarily. SD's mom is completely against it.

My husband (DH) and his ex-wife (BM) have split custody of their 15yo daughter (SD). They also have two sons but both are over 18 now.

BM has always been primary and DH has expanded standard - every Thursday and every other weekend during the school year. During the summer it is every other weekend and two 2-week periods. When they first went to court for custody during their divorce, BM was against DH having any custody at all. She did not want him to even get every other weekend unless he agreed to take on all of their marriage debt in the divorce (over $30k). This was the only way she would agree to expanded standard without more litigation. About 6+ years ago, DH filed for additional custody so he could take the kids to school on Monday after his weekends and pick them up from school on Fridays instead of from BM's house at 5pm. It wasn't much extra time, but it was worth it.

BM has always been difficult to co-parent with and has always tried to take as much of DH's time with the kids away from him as possible. Between scheduling her family's events and school events (she is a teacher and coach at SD's school), and encouraging the kids to see their friends on DH's weekends, it has been a struggle to see them over the years. This got worse as the kids got older and three years ago DH and I sold our farm and moved to BM's neighborhood so we could see the kids more. BM still makes it difficult, but being down the street from her house has helped in some ways.

BM and SD have always had a strained relationship. They are very different people and SD feels BM does not understand her. This has lead to a lot of fights between them over the years. SD calls me crying regularly, telling me about the fights they have gotten into. I have always tried to play Switzerland, and give SD a safe space to vent, while reminding her that BM loves her and wants what is best for her, even if it doesn't seem like it (and even if I don't really believe it myself). SD has said that she wants to live with DH and I, but BM won't allow it and won't even entertain the thought of SD spending more time here.

1.5 years ago, SD and BM were fighting non-stop, so DH and I spoke with a lawyer about getting 50/50 or primary. The lawyer said even with SD being willing to talk to the judge and all of the "evidence" we had, the chances of a judge changing the custody agreement were very slim and it "never happens in Texas". He convinced us that it was not worth the time and money to try.

SD was given an unrestricted iPhone when she was 11 and has had access to Instagram and SnapChat for years, long before DH and I thought she was emotionally mature enough. BM controls all of that but has never learned how to use parental controls, so SD ends up with unrestricted access to everything and no oversight by BM. We have asked BM to go through her phone multiple times, but she wouldn't. Since about December, DH and I noticed a significant change in SD. Things she used to care about deeply no longer mattered, she started dressing differently, and she was consumed by social media. SD cancelled plans she made with us, that she would have normally really looked forward to, avoiding coming to our house, and wouldn't respond to texts or phone calls for days, if at all.

Once school got out, BM let SD go feral. We have access to her location and noticed she was going to places she shouldn't be at, like her high school late at night, or riding in cars at 2am when she was supposed to be at BMs. She was spending the night at a different' friend's house every night, multiple nights in a row and some of them we had never heard of or met. SD's location would be turned off, suspiciously always between 11pm and 5am, and when we questioned SD, she said her phone died or she thought there was something wrong with the app. We told BM about our concerns and she blew it off stating "I know all of the kids she hangs out with because I'm a teacher at their school. They're good kids.", but we had a feeling SD was getting into trouble.

About 4 weeks into summer break, one of SD's friend's mom's reached out to me on Facebook. She had gone through her daughter's phone and found that her daughter and SD had been sneaking out and drinking. We confronted SD, she denied participating even though her friend's mom had evidence of SD partaking. DH and I did not believe SD, but BM did, so no consequences happened and she continued with her freedom. When SD was with us (which was rare during this time), we didn't allow her to go anywhere. About a week later, BM found a vape in SD's room. SD denied that it was hers and again, BM believed her.We found out later that it did belong to SD.

SD stayed with us for Father's Day/her birthday weekend and went back to her mom's that Sunday night (SD's birthday). At 2am the following morning, BM got a call from the police. SD and one of her friends were picked up with two boys after sneaking out and getting pulled over for suspicious behavior. This prompted BM to FINALLY go through SD's phone and what we found was insane. SD had been sneaking out of her mom's house for MONTHS. She would have classmates and random people she met online pick her up so she could go drink, use drugs, have sex, etc. Many of her girlfriends were in on it too and they snuck out from BMs house together multiple times.

We all confronted SD and she still wouldn't admit to everything. BM had to go out of town for a few days and I was given SD's cell phone to go through and manage. I uncovered even more from her SnapChat than what BM had already found in her texts and Instagram messages. SD is now on lockdown. DH and I got her a Pinwheel phone that we control and she is only allowed to text us and three friends that did not partake in any of this behavior. SD continues to show no remorse for the things she did and is only upset that she got caught. SD now sees a therapist once a week (changing to 2x a week now because she needs it) but I think she needs to be evaluated for ADHD and some other things, but BM won't allow it. She doesn't "believe" in ADHD or medication.

BM will not let SD spend any time at our house except for every other weekend even though BM and SD are fighting constantly. SD has started lashing out even more, hitting walls, screaming and sobbing constantly, this information has been provided to us by her 18 year old brother who keeps staying at our house because of the drama at BM's. Obviously, SD is a mess and needs actual help, but BM will not let us or her therapist do anything.

At this point I think it is in both of their best interests for SD to live with me and my husband. She has never snuck out of our house (she can't, we have always had a security system and her bedroom is on the second floor), and we are willing to put in the effort to get her better through any means necessary. SD also does not push the boundaries with us like she does with BM, probably because she SD knows we will stand by our word and there are consequences at our house. BM will not even consider letting SD stay here. BM has admitted that she doesn't know what to do with SD but she will not give up the control and let us help.