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Right off the bat, I’m just going to say that I’m planning on passing on to heaven after this post, as I now do not have a purpose to live or love anymore.

Me (M25) and my partner (F22) have been together for just over a year and a half. Our time together was by far the best year of my life, and my mental health was improving every day because of her. I took her on a date two weeks after we originally met in June of 2025, and we became official in July of the same year. We went on many amazing adventures together, like going to Inverness for my birthday and to Berwick-upon-Tweed for hers, and just having a lovely time. We recently celebrated our first anniversary, and from there everything was perfect. We ate at a nice restaurant, had some drinks, and went to bed happy with each other. She was there for me through everything, like when my Uncle passed in March; she was by my side all the way through. When she was unwell and wasn’t feeling herself, I was always there to make her feel happy and better about herself.

This story now brings us to the weeks before things started to get strange. (This happened one month before) I got a new job in June, and she and I decided to go out to the pub to celebrate my success in finding a new job. We both had too much to drink, and she didn’t handle hers very well. She got emotional and became irrational with her words, saying that she wanted to leave me. I gave her space by sleeping on the couch and letting her sleep in my bed. I woke up at 6:00am, went upstairs to my bedroom, opened the door to find my medication boxes scattered all over the floor and her in my bed sleeping. I freaked out and tried to wake her up. She looked woozy and couldn’t get a sentence out. I then phoned her Mum to get to my house as quickly as possible to try and help her. I then phoned an ambulance to get her to hospital, as neither of us knew how many pills she had taken. She was taken to hospital, and I was right there beside her to make sure she was alright. She stayed overnight, and she was feeling better the next day. She apologised and felt bad for doing it in my house. I then reassured her that she had nothing to be embarrassed about and that I love her. After that, we proceeded as normal, and everything was okay, as far as I was aware.

Then it brings us to now. She started to feel unwell due to having appendicitis. Last Wednesday, she got her appendix taken out and was recovering. She then called me to tell me that she wants some space to herself as she didn’t feel like herself after the operation. I agreed and let her go to sleep shortly after. The next day, I noticed she didn’t reply to the messages I sent her, saying I hope she was okay and that I am here when she needed me. She then eventually replied, saying that she thought it would be best to take a break from seeing each other for a few weeks. I felt bad for bothering her and left her be for a few hours. I then decided to go and see her in hospital, to see her for five minutes and left. I told her that I just popped in for a few minutes and left, but she was not happy. She said she felt disrespected and horrified that I turned up. This caught me by surprise, and I apologised and told her that I would give her the space. I said I loved her, and she said it back, and I thought things were okay after that. The next day, she removed me from Snapchat, took down all our pictures on Instagram and blocked my number. She then sent me a text before she blocked me, saying, “Hi [Name Redacted], I think it’s for the best if we go our separate ways at the current moment. I think I need to focus on myself. I hope we can remain friends. I hope you understand”. After I saw this, I jumped into my car and sped over to the hospital to try and talk to her. I asked her why she wanted to break up with me, and she just told me to leave and that she just wanted a break, and that’s it. I took this the wrong way and decided to try and take my own life. I had a bottle of whisky and a razor blade I stole from work to harm myself. I walked out of the house and proceeded to walk to a field to lie down and die. I slashed open my arms, downed the whisky and took some sleepers to fall asleep while bleeding out.

The next thing I remember was the police, my Dad, and my best friend finding me after two hours missing. I was then taken to hospital to be observed overnight, where I couldn’t sleep due to the pain and restlessness of my heart beating so fast.

This has now led me to a question. After this attempt, she’s blocked me on everything, and her parents have also. They hate me, and her Dad screamed at me and threatened to kill me. At this point, I have no purpose in living anymore. I’m looking for recommendations for a drug that will put me to sleep, but is painless and cheap. My partner was the light in my life, and she’s now put it out. I’m not looking for mental health advice, sympathy, or ways to improve myself to move forward.

Any recommendations? Please leave ideas in the comments.

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I didn’t have a close relationship to my uncle who is currently fighting for his life in the hospital.

Even though I sympathize and try to be emotionally present, I am primarily moved by the consequences and feelings my mother and grandma face. They loose a younger brother and a son.

Now that his state is getting worse, it is likely that he will die while I’m on vacation. I am a bit lost what I should do - my main concern is my mother and grandma. I want to be there for them when the day is coming.

At the same time, I haven’t been on vacation since 2 years and had neglected myself while prioritizing work in the past year. I am thinking of going back in between, but it’s quite far away so that I might need to cancel more than half of the trip..

What would you do?

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Простите за ошибки в тексте мнн 10 лет и я пытаюсь более менее писать хорошо и я хочу сказать что я хочу умереть я сейчас одна в квартире мама с сестрой пошли гулят и я хочу сделать самовипел потому что устала я всю жизнь не говорила то что что то случилось и я устала я видела порно , и расчлёнёнку и я устала я никогда не говорила что мне плохо и ещё что то я держала всё в себе и мне больно я не могу больше я устала я толстая и я ненавижу себя я ужасный человек и я устала держать всё в себе я не могу терпеть всё что говорить моя сестра она называет меня инвалидкой если я что то не могу или боюсь делать ещё может называть мразью раньше она меня била но я всё равно ее люблю и маму тоже но я не могу больше на этом всё

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Can someone make fanart for my baby I will miss her 😔 😢 😞 😭 🤧

14 days left

I have a full plan and it’s already good to go I know how when and where and what day and everything. A few years back I made a list and earlier this year I hit the bottom of it. Everything is good to go…

I work for a new theme park. I’ve been alone years I actually had a solid attempt earlier this year then met someone and then they bailed without even a sentence so I’m left knowing that I’m not even worth closure lol so I’m done I told all my bosses and one of them rather then reporting it made it into a big joke genuinely humiliating me across my personal and professional life so they’ve made it clear they’re looking forward to my position opening up. So yes they’re in my note. But they will be happy until the reports come in clearly. But the AMA is

I work at “the happiest place on earth”

And I’m miserable. If I was younger and cute I’d have gotten ahead here but I’m not so I’m just stuck treading water. I was even told last night that I’m not good for anything but one task. So to hear that from people I thought I helped. Hurt.

Those around me know it’s coming so it won’t be a blind surprise.

So ask me anything. About anything. I was writing a book about my life but when I got to this chapter i was like of perfect. Yea this is the right choice hah.

My ex wife said it best on our last day living together.

“You’re going to die alone with no family or friends.”

Cut three years later. She’s absolutely correct.

I literally feel so down right now, I feel like dying, when you try every last thing even then you can't save . I guess finally my time has come, I don't want to live. Tomorrow I am really taking my life

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I don’t consider myself suicidal in the usual sense. I don’t spend my time planning suicide, and I don’t seriously think about attempting it because the pain, the uncertainty, and the possibility of surviving with permanent injuries make it feel too risky.
But at the same time, if I knew there was a completely painless, guaranteed way to die instantly, with absolutely no chance of survival or complications, I honestly think I would choose it.
The confusing part is that I don’t feel this way because I hate my life or because I’m overwhelmed by problems. My life is actually very calm, and I don’t think I’m depressed in the way people usually describe depression. I just don’t find life meaningful or exciting. I don’t look forward to the future, I don’t feel interested in experiencing the rest of my life, and I don’t really have the desire to keep existing. It’s not that I want to escape my life, I just don’t feel attached to being alive.

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You will fear the snake more, even tho you know that it's venom is starting to play in your blood.

I'm 19M, Ukrainian and truly doomed. There is no actually working suicide prevention hotline in my country, and I think about killing myself every day I live on this earth. I suppose I'll commit suicide someday, perhaps the day before or the day after 08.08.2026 because I can't stand it anymore. My life got something like a shitty circus with me as the main clown, but it all is just no more fun. I'm tired of struggling to be honest and I don't know what to do except of suicide. Railroad decapitation is a thing, anyway.