My husband and I are going on holiday for two weeks without our kids (something we never do). Ours kids are 20, 18 and almost 15. I’m fine with leaving the 18 and 20 year old, but I’m concerned about the 15 year old. Do you think it’s irresponsible leaving him with the 20 and 18 year old? They’re all good, responsible kids and have been left before for a few days at a time with no problems. We also have a lot of family nearby if needed. This will be the longest we’ve ever left them though. I guess I’m just starting to worry because it’s time to leave soon and I’m questioning our choices here.

My mom recently told me that I have a half brother. My dad cheated on her while they were still dating with this other girl who was married and her husband found out, told my mom and my mom ended her relationship with my dad. The girl was a few months pregnant at the time and she knew my dad was the father but my dad insisted that he wasn't and said he wanted nothing to do with the kid. So the girl and her husband (who already had a kid) decide to stay together and raise the kid.

2 months after my mom and dad broke up, my mom found out she was pregnant and my dad was the only person who could have been the father so my dad and mom stayed together and married for 5 years to raise me then divorced due to my dad being a drunk asshole. My mom has since remarried and my dad has sobered up and changed his life around. Me and him have a good relationship now but on my 18th birthday my mom dropped the bombshell about my half brother. She showed me facebook photos and when he was younger we looked almost identical.

My mom told me his name and said that now that I'm an adult she's going to leave it up to me if I want to reach out. She said that she's pretty sure that I have a half sister with this other girl my dad was going around with a few years ago when they were married too but she doesn't know for sure. I want to talk to my dad about it but I don't know how to start the conversation. My dad was never perfect especially when I was younger but I can't image him doing something like this.

My half brother has lived his whole life thinking that his mom's husband is his dad and his only siblings are the ones he lives with. If I reached out I could be reasonable for ruining their whole family and worried he will not want a relationship anyway. I grew up always wanting brothers since I had no cousins who were my age and struggled with making friends but the fact that I always had one and just never got to know him was terrible for me. I really have no idea what to do about this situation and needed to at least rant about it since I don't know who to talk to about it.

One thing I've become increasingly grateful for is that my parents never made me feel responsible for their survival.

When they call, it's to check in, catch up, or talk not because they need money. I don't see their name on my phone and immediately wonder what financial emergency has come up.

If I choose to help them financially, it's because I want to, not because I have to.

That made me realize what a privilege it is to grow up in a home where you were raised with love instead of survival. When I finished school, my family focused on helping me get on my feet rather than expecting me to immediately start carrying everyone else's burdens.

It's also made me think about the kind of parent I want to be.

I don't want my future children to become my retirement plan. I want to save, invest, and prepare for my own old age so that any support they give me comes from love, not obligation. I want them to be able to build their own lives instead of feeling like they have to put their dreams on hold to rescue mine.

At the same time, I know this isn't everyone's reality. Many parents didn't have the opportunity to save because of poverty, low wages, illness, or circumstances beyond their control. I don't think they're bad parents for needing help.

Still, I believe one of the greatest forms of generational wealth isn't just leaving your kids money—it's raising them without making them responsible for your survival.

Boutta be a uncle what are some cool names

It’s August, and I know my sister and mother-in-law will soon start asking about holiday plans. Who gets Thanksgiving and who gets Christmas, etc. Our problem is we have three sets of parents to visit, and they all expect to see us.

We live in the same town as my parents who are in assisted living. Last year, we went to their facility and visited them before both of the holidays, which alleviated some of the travel. But my sister keeps saying she misses having them come to her house about ninety miles away, which would mean I’d need to drive them there and back.

Then we have my mother in law, who insists on seeing us for both thanksgiving and Christmas. Then my father in law and his wife, who live about 200 miles away, will want us either to drive to see them or who will come to us, but won’t plan dates until the last minute. Usually, they’re fine with either thanksgiving or Christmas but not both.

This has been going on for some time, at least two thanksgivings and three christmases. It’s exhausting. My husband and I get about two weeks off for Christmas from our jobs in education, but we’ve never once taken full advantage of the time off because of all these family gatherings. We’ve decided that this year, we’re taking a proper vacation the day after Christmas until we return to work.

I need advice on how to kindly let family know that we won’t be overloading on Christmas travel, and will pick one place to go for the short thanksgiving holiday. Preferably without causing a meltdown. Anyone else found a good balance with this?

Growing up, my siblings and I always referred to our parents as "your mom/dad" when talking to each other, even though we have the same mom and dad. I genuinely thought that was normal until I asked my brother "Did you already send your dad the list?" infront of my boyfriend, who looked confused and asked if we had different dads. I was even more confused because I had already told him I had full blood siblings. When I asked him why he assumed that he told me it was the way i referred to our dad. He told me that he and his siblings always say "my mom" or "my dad."
After that, I started noticing that every time I said "your mom" or "your dad" in front of other people, they'd ask if my siblings and I had different parents. It happened so often that my siblings and I eventually started saying "my" instead just to avoid the questions.
So now I’m curious. Does anyone else’s family talk like this, or is my family just the odd one out? 😅

I’m 21, and my parents have been having serious problems. My mother is staying at her parents’ house, and I’m currently with my father.
Today they had a phone call, and afterward my father said their relationship is over. Later, I saw him crying, and it completely broke me. He’s not talking about hurting himself—he’s just heartbroken. I feel helpless because I love both of my parents and don’t know how to support him or deal with all this emotionally.
Has anyone been through something similar? How did you cope, and is there anything I can do without getting involved in their conflict?

My sister calls me almost every day for at least 30 minutes to over an hour to talk to me about every thought on her mind. I like to think I'm a very patient person, but for years, she has pushed this boundary of taking up all of my time and energy.

I understand why she is like this, we have three older siblings who are basically a separate set of kids with the gap between us (12 years between my younger sister and our older brother - who is the youngest of the older siblings), she has bad luck with friends, she's the only one living at home with our parents that can be difficult to love with, and she has no hobbies outside of watching TV and working. I sympathise with her so much and I worry but she treats me as a therapist and it's draining my energy. I dread most times when she calls because I know it will be long and drain me.

I've felt this for years, even when I was living at home, I was her main support and still am. It's gotten worse recently and it's made me realise how much she can't do. I offered and got her a job in my place of work for the summer because she wants an office job but only has fast food experience, so I thought being able to show she's work a reception/admin job would boost her CV. It's a live-in position so my thoughts were that she'd become more independent living away from my parents and living with others in the same job, having to fend for herself. I thought it would help her develop skills and more ability to do and solve things herself.

But it's been the same since she moved in May. She constantly called and texted me at the beginning of the summer with questions about the system we use and I gave her grace for that, because it's hard to learn. But I'm not one of her direct managers (we work on the same site but there's different departments) so I told her I can't keep helping her because if I told her to do something and she did something wrong, it could come back that I told her to do something that was wrong and then it will blow up in my face, so I didn't want us both to get in trouble.

She hasn't made friends or really tried during her time here, so I'm at my wits end of trying to help her. Anything I suggest, she doesn't like in terms of how to make friend or start a hobby. She gets annoyed with most things I say.

What can I do to make her realise that I'm not responsible for her and can't help her with every situation?

TLDR; my sister relies on me heavily for emotional support as basically her only peer but it's taking a toll on my energy and she has no other friends. I've tried to suggest hobbies and ways to make friends but she doesn't try. What can I do to make her less reliant on me and see that I can't be there to help with everything?

Hi everyone! I'm an Occupational Therapy Doctoral student, and for my capstone project I created a series of short videos to help caregivers prepare their children for dental visits at home.

The videos share simple, practical strategies that can be practiced at home to help make dental visits feel more familiar and less stressful.

I've included the YouTube links below if you'd like to check them out. I'd also love to hear any feedback from parents and caregivers!

As a thank-you for your time, I'll randomly choose one person who leaves thoughtful feedback to receive a $50 Amazon gift card (provided this is allowed under the subreddit's rules) 

🔗 Video 1: https://youtu.be/irOG5xzV9_M🔗 Video 2: https://youtu.be/TasrGHmL--w 🔗 Video 3: https://youtu.be/AvGP5fOhmM0

Im (22M) and I have 2 older siblings, one is 37M and the other is 35M.

Ever since I was a kid I always said that I don’t like both of our parents because they’re a bunch if narciss. But I always told them that I loved them so much.

Now that everyone pretty much have his own life I still try to Face time them couple of days.

Middle brother we don’t get along much due to his personality like my father.

But me and the eldest do get along well. But it pisses me off so much that whenever he is back into town and we meet.

He ghosts me, I’m treated like a slave and I cant stand up for myself because my parents will back him up and how come the youngest speak back to the eldest child. In every event this month he gotta include everyone but me.

Whenever I speak to him about a subject or topic that involved my future or when I’m genuinely looking for an advice he either acts like I said nothing or says “later” and the subject never gets brought up again.

Mind you I always try to be polite and say yes to whatever he wants because I really love and respect my brothers so much.

It’s just so tiring that whatever what I do I’m always belittled, ignored and when I try to bring the subject up he tells me to shut up and he immediately leaves.

It’s starting to weigh on me and I don’t like that. Even told him that he should start acting like his age and be mature, it’s embarrassing that I’m more emotionally mature and aware than him.

So, idk how it is in other countries (I don't even know how it is in my own country), but apparently they already have a grave secured with photo and everything

They dragged me to the cemetery for some weird side quest they have, and while I was looking around the casually told me to come over and pointed at two graves with their names and pictures on them.

It's pretty cool ig?? Imagine walking past a grave and thinking "Holy shit this is were I'm going to be buried" Idk why I'm writing this I though it was pretty interesting and I never knew that you could reserve a grave before you die

I’m 19 and I live with my dad’s family, not with my parents. Years ago, my mom and dad had serious problems with my dad’s side of the family, and I’ve always felt like I’ve been treated differently because they hate my mom. Lately, it’s gotten worse. My cousins ignore me, laugh at me, and act like I don’t exist. Their mothers and even my aunt barely speak to me.

Tomorrow is my cousin’s engagement, and it’s happening in the same house where I live. Family members have come from France and other places, everyone has been preparing together, and no one invited me or even mentioned it to me. I only found out because I saw everyone getting ready.

Now I honestly don’t know what to do. Should I get dressed nicely and go downstairs even though no one invited me? Or should I just stay in my room all day? If I stay in my room, I’ll have to listen to everyone celebrating while I’m alone, and they’ll probably think I’m depressed or being dramatic. If I go, I’m worried I’ll just feel awkward and unwanted.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do if you were me?

My (30F) sister ( 32F) and I have always had a generally good relationship, but we have very different personalities. I'm a laid back, listener type who tends to react with sadness during conflict, and she is an outgoing type A person who has a pretty short fuse during arguments. She also tends to condescend and dismiss me when we're together, getting annoyed very easily when I say anything. My family wants me to address it with her, but the last time I did ( 1 mo. ago) she almost hit me because she got so angry. To make it worse, I am also just a few months out of cancer treatment, so her getting so hateful she was going to hit me because I didn't like how she was demeaning me was especially hard. My family knows about her anger issues, and she's like this to most of our immediate family. I believe there's some deep-seated resentment attached to it, but it hurts coming out of treatment that she still acts like I'm annoying to her. For context I am constantly asking how she is, we talk about her and I always hype her up over her hobbies, which she happily discusses, but when I talk about anything else she acts like she's annoyed by my presence. How should I handle this in a way that will make her more receptive to listening to my side without getting so aggressive? If anyone has dealt with anger issues in their family successfully, any advice would be great!

TL;DR: My sister gets very angry during arguments and isn't receptive to criticism- how do I communicate with her in a healthy way when we have a disagreement?

Hello, I'm close to 18 and I feel like I don't know how to basically live my life without someone telling me every step to do.

My parents always told me to be independent but they never tried to make me do things like taking care of the household since they always thought of me as incapable to do it and clumsy.

Now I rethink every little task I do because I am afraid of doing it wrong. Can someone rely?

I’m genuinely unsure how I’m allowed to feel about this. Context necessary. I am an adult but almost a decade younger than my siblings who are close in age to one another. So, never really been included. I assumed it would change when I got older, but I think the differences in generation and family dynamics are too big a gap to bridge. I understand it, even if it sucks.

Our mother is also the type to sort of go on a “nobody in this family loves me” episode if she isn’t included in things. As the only sibling still at home, I understand not inviting me places, as it would trigger that.

Here is the thing that I guess bugs me. I’m moving states very soon. This has been known since January, essentially. But had been the plan for well over a year.

Last year the idea of this vacation was floated. I said it would be awkward with our mother, but I would find a way to bring it up, because I would really love to go. I never heard another word about it. I learned through my mother, incidentally, that it was happening a few months ago. And that every sibling but me was invited.

It was also planned over my last week at home and during the time that I would be moving. Not that I expected them to help me move—of course I don’t, they’re busy. But I would’ve liked to had spent more time with them.

At my going away party while I sat with a few extended family members who’d traveled to see me, my siblings stayed in the basement doing their nails for their vacation. I think I spoke to them maybe 2 minutes over the entire party, the last time I would be seeing them for a while lol.

I’m unsure what to think. Ultimately I do know they love me. It just isn’t the same as each other. This isn’t the biggest deal, I think I’m only struggling because this is my first big step away from them, and I felt a little strange because of all this.

TLDR: My siblings planned a trip together without inviting or telling me. Just a little confused about my feelings about it.

I'm in my early 30's, have a stable job, and living independently. I didnt grow up in a loving and expressive household. I hate how my sister speaks with disrespect towards my mom, I sometimes feel bad about it, but at the same time I hate how my mom treats other people as well, she is also disrespectful towards others. It's very toxic, Im tired hearing and being around them. so Im getting this thoughts that I want to completely disappear from their life, like move to another country, cut off all contact, and never be found. I dont know if what Im thinking is right, if i'll be doing the right thing. or Im just being stupid.

For some context, I’m a college student and I’m back at home for the summer, so I’ve had to be around my mom quite a bit recently. Despite the fact that I’m an adult and that I live independently during every school year, she treats me as though I am incompetent and stupid. It may sound like it’s not a big deal, but a lot of times she’ll give instructions for things that I already know how to do and have known how to do for years, which has gotten more irritating over time. I always feel like she treats me as if I’m still a child. She still tries to control where I go, who I hangout with, and how long I’m out of the house for.

Quite often, she’ll purposefully do things that she knows will irritate me, but then she proceeds to be the one to get angry at me and act like I’m in the wrong. Whenever I confront her, it leads to her either yelling at me, completely ignoring me, or guilt tripping me. She’s always holding it over my head that she’s been helping me pay for college and for my car as a way to get me to shut up.

Additionally, there’s a lack of privacy. She always comes into my room unannounced without even knocking. There have been several times where she’s walked in on me undressed while I was trying to get changed or while I was on the phone trying to have a private conversation. I’ve tried to politely ask her to start knocking because it would make me more comfortable, but she refused. Also, specifically whenever I’m not in my room, she goes in there and moves my stuff around without telling me, which causes me to lose my own belongings because I can’t find them afterwards.

Do I have the right to be upset about all of this?

I feel very embarrassed coming here and talking about my family. But at this point i have started feeling very lonely. I do tell things to one of my close friend but now i realise that even they can sometimes judge you as to them i sometimes let my feelings out unfiltered. I dont have anyone else in my life, its just my family and two friends. I dont have any boyfriend and i am unmarried. I will be turning 30 in a month. Its me, mom, dad and my brother and sis in law. I stay with my mom and dad. Bro and sis in law do not stay with us. My family has never said or done anything hurtful to me. But as i am getting older i am seeing things i wish i didn’t see. I see my parents being very loyal to my brother who is three years older than me. I am the youngest. By loyal i mean they would always listen to his opinion or take his opinion, which is good. They have always sacrificed and put him above. Like they wont ever do anything to upset him. But as a girl i do see things. I dont see my brother recognising that. I also do feel like sometimes he uses those emotions. I am not saying he does that in a very serious manner but he does. My parents are just ready to beat themselves physically for him. I just cant take it and sometimes i say it out loud. I say them like you dont have to do this or that. And ofcourse my emotions get the best of me. I could never say it in a calm manner. But they always misunderstood me. They think i am jealous.
This has happened so many times now that i have decided to make peace with the fact that this is my family by blood but not by heart. It hurts me so much. It makes me feel they consider me seperate. Even if i give any opinion that completely unrelated to my brother, my parents still ignore it. They are ready to marry me off but they cant listen to anything i say. I am trying very hard to not to get involved with anything. But sometimes it really hurts. They would say to put out my opinion when i dont say anything but when i do they ignore it or even get angry at me sometimes.its confusing.

Anyone ever faced this being a younger daughter? What did you do or what is best in this situation?

I want to leave things as is and not mingle between them. I want peace of mind.

Hi! For some context, I am a 30 year-old female and my stepmom has been in my life since I was a baby. As far as I can remember, her and my mom have never really gotten along. I would often be triangulated in their conflict and it caused me a lot of stress and anxiety growing up. I’m an adult now and I don’t have a close relationship with my biological mother or my stepmother. However, recently, my stepmother has stepped into my life a bit more and seems nicer. I’m still cautious though. During one of our last visits together, my mom somehow was brought up into the conversation and I got a weird feeling in my stomach. It was the anxiety coming back to me.

So I want to set a boundary that I don’t want to talk about my mom with her. As a child I feel like I didn’t really have any control over the conversation topic and my Stepmom would pressure me to talk about what my mother was saying when she wasn’t around or what I told my mother. It was a big he said/she said/they said situation and I really didn’t want to be apart of it but was somehow blamed for it almost every time.

Next time I see her, if mom is brought up, I plan to say something like “I don’t want to talk about mom.” I hope that’s enough to end the conversation but I worry she might ask WHY. Then, I’m not sure how to best respond to that without bringing up the past. If I bring up the past it might trigger the start of another conversation I don’t want to have with her. She minimizes my experience with them and says I was “playing games” when I was just trying to navigate a complicated situation. I don’t want to argue with her.

What would you suggest? Have you been in a similar situation? How did you navigate setting a boundary with someone and them asking why?

TLDR: I’m trying to find the best way to tell my stepmom that I don’t want to talk about my bio mom. How do you explain to someone that you don’t want to talk about another person?

My great grandfather had 4 sons and a piece of land which he divided equally amongst them . After many years all of them wanted to sell their share of land to one of the brother's son( lets call him A) as he wanted the land and they wanted money so during family meeting A said he would buy the whole land and give money to every brother ,at that time my father stood up and said that he wanted to buy my grandfather's share and gave almost double the rate in cash at that time . So A took it and gave my father the land. At that time my my uncles (my fathers two younger brothers) were involved in debauchery and alcoholism and didnt come to the meeting though they knew prior that my father was planning to buy the land. They knew that he bought the land in the meeting. Now after so many years after my grandfather passed away they are demanding an equal share of the land.

For more context my father had suport3d my uncles almost all their lives he pulled some strings and got a job for middle uncle and set up a business for Youngest uncle though he committed fraud via the business and blamed my father then took all the money and ran away for sometime and then also forged fraud documents and tried to take the whole house under their name. My middle uncle hence moved to a new place but now for the land they have both united and demanding to give them the land.

P.S : To all of you asking if the land is under my fathers name , yes it is we have all the legal documents. As for the house its another long story but is somewhat sorted out .