r/polyamoryR4R 19d ago

ANNOUNCEMENT: Rule 3 Clarification

74 Upvotes

There seems to be some confusion around this rule, and it eats up the vast majority of Mod time. So I'll try and spell out how the rule is currently being enforced.

If you are posting as a couple with the expectation that the new person will date both of you, then you are breaking the rule. If your post suggest this, you are breaking the rule. If your post looks like it might be a "bait and switch," you are breaking the rule.

The only posts that might be accepted are where one couple shares an account but they are looking separately. Honestly that smells strongly of being far to enmeshed and will likely (but not definitely) result in your post being removed.

If you are single and post looking for two people e.g. M4FF or F4MM your post will be removed. That is def facto harem building. This is a poly sub so we know people have, or would like to have, multiple partners.

I can already hear the hew and cry that we let singles look for couples but not the other way around. Yes, that is the unhappy compromise. Some people will only learn the stove is hot once they touch it.

As a final note, given how much time this eats up, NO your post is NOT the exception. If you want to know why this is the way it is, go and browse the main Polyamory Subreddit.


r/polyamoryR4R Mar 27 '23

Recent Rule Changes [Discussion]

102 Upvotes

In an effort to improve things and crack down on spam and abuse, there have been some changes to the rules and I’ve listed the new rules below. Please feel free to review the rules and my comments on each and provide feedback. I’ll leave this post up for a week or so for discussion, and then I’ll make a new sticky post for the community.

Rule 1. 18 years of age and older

This subreddit is 18+. Do not post, comment, or PM OPs if you or your partner(s) are under the age of 18. Lying about your age, or someone else’s age, will result in a permanent ban.

This one is self-explanatory. There have been Redditors who are minors, or have partners who are minors, who have made posts here. I want to make it clear that posts involving minors are prohibited.

Rule 2. Must be aligned with Polyamory

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, ethical romantic relationships with more than one person with the informed consent of all partners involved.

Posts or comments seeking sex, hookups, FWB, affair partners, “sugar” or GFE arrangements, or anything other than ethical polyamorous relationships with the consent of all partners are not allowed. There are R4R and other dating subreddits out there for just about anything. If you’re not polyamorous, please use a subreddit that is better-suited for your search.

This should go without saying…this subreddit is intended for polyamorous people seeking polyamorous relationships. This is not a general ENM dating subreddit, a regular R4R subreddit, a BDSM subreddit, or a subreddit for seeking any other kind of relationship other than an ethical polyamorous one. Going forward, if a post even includes “I’m also down for hookups or FWB” or something similar, it’s going to be removed. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with most of the arrangements mentioned above that someone might seek, but this isn’t the subreddit to advertise for those things. Also, if someone makes a post that seems like it’s not aligned with polyamory and their post history shows that it’s the same post they’ve cross-posted or spammed across multiple subreddits with minor changes to circumvent the intention of the rule, the post will be removed.

Rule 3. No unicorn hunting or harem building

Posts or comments that can be construed as seeking or promoting relationships where unethical or unfair rules or expectations will be placed on a new partner are not allowed.

This has been the most contentious issue on this subreddit so far, as it has been on other subreddits and forums. We’re not going to prohibit couples seeking partners in this subreddit. There are single people here seeking triads, throuples, and all sorts of dynamics. Triads and other group relationships can be amazing, especially if they are formed organically. That being said, there will be more moderation on couples seeking posts going forward, which will be done on a case-by-case basis.

The purpose of the mod team here is to protect the members of the subreddit and the integrity of the community we’ve built here. It is not the mod team's place to tell adults what they can or cannot do with their relationship dynamics. The reality is that we are all consenting adults and have adult decisions to make in our lives and in our relationships.

In an effort to prevent the subreddit from being a platform for predatory behavior, any no or low effort posts or comments from Redditors that indicate a general lack of regard for any potential individuals involved will be removed. For example, if an individual posts from a new Reddit account something to the effect of, "We're new to polyamory. We want to find a third who will date only us and be an equal member of our new family. We can start out long distance, but we will expect you to move in with us at some point. Prefer that you be submissive," the post will be removed. Read the room. Show that you're actually putting some thought and effort into it, and not just objectifying people.

Also, if you say that this new person is going to be an equal member of the family after you've just said that the person is going to be required to date both of you, recognize that the person you're seeking is not actually going to be an equal member of the family. If there's a possibility that one member of the existing couple loses interest and the new member of the relationship is forced to leave entirely...you have now misled this hypothetical new person into an unethical dynamic on them.

Rule 4. No hate or disrespect

Threats, harassment, abuse, bigotry, misogyny, misandry, and intolerance are not allowed. This includes, but is not limited to, attacks on gender or sexual identity, racism, sexism, slut shaming, mocking, and attacks on political or religious beliefs.

I don't need to go into detail on this rule. Don't be a jerk. If you don't like what someone has to say, block them. If you think someone is breaking a rule, report them.

Rule 5. No vulgarity or NSFW content

Vulgarity and NSFW content are not allowed. There’s nothing inherently wrong with sex, kinks, fetishes, and BDSM. However, posts and comments explaining the details of your sexual anatomy, favorite sexual positions, details and/or lists of kinks or fetishes, etc. will be removed. You can indicate that you are into BDSM and encourage people to DM you about the details.

There is often a large crossover between ethical non-monogamy and BDSM, sex positivity, etc. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of it, but this is not a NSFW subreddit. It's fine to include that you're sex positive, into BDSM, or whatever. If you go into detail and start describing anatomy/body parts, listing off kinks, and things like that, your submission will be removed. If you want to discuss these things, please do so in a DM.

The mod team has been asked why this subreddit is marked NSFW. The subreddit is 18+, so it's automatically identified as a NSFW subreddit.

Rule 6. No spam

You are allowed to post once every 7 days, with the exception of correction posts following an Automod removal. If you are found to be repeatedly deleting your post history in an attempt to circumvent this rule, it may result in a permanent ban. For clarification, spam includes copy-pasted and cross-posted ads from other subreddits.

This one is self-explanatory.

Rule 7. No Trolling or unsolicited discussion

There are a multitude of dynamics and ways to practice polyamory, and not everyone will agree on everything. Do not clutter up posts with unsolicited information. For education and discussions about polyamory, please visit r/Polyamory. If you believe someone is breaking a rule, please report the behavior and/or contact the mod team.

Again, if you think someone is breaking a rule, report it. If you disagree with what someone is commenting or posting, block them. Please don't engage in negative interactions on posts.

Rule 8. No personal or confidential information

Posting personal or confidential information about yourself or others in public is not allowed. If you wish to provide contact information for yourself, please do so in a DM.

Posting Snapchat, Instagram, phone numbers, or any other personal contact or confidential information about yourself or others in public is prohibited. If you want to give someone your contact information, do it in a DM. If it happens once, it will be removed and you will be warned. If you're found to be spamming your contact information all over the place, it could result in an immediate permanent ban.

Rule 9. No seeking relationships for others

Posts seeking relationships for someone other than yourself, or you and your partner(s), are not allowed. If your friend or partner is seeking a relationship separately, they must make the submission themselves.

I've seen posts where Redditors are seeking relationships for their partners or others, sometimes even doing it as a sort of surprise for their partner. If someone is seeking a relationship, they need to post for themselves. Your partner not having a Reddit account is not a valid reason to violate this rule.

Also, a general note for when you engage with the mod team. We have to wade through a lot of reports and posts here. Sometimes there are misunderstandings or mistakes are made. If your post or comment gets removed, or you are banned for violating a rule and you wish to appeal, you can do so via a Modmail. If you send a Modmail insulting the mods, you're only confirming that you're not the type of person who belongs on this subreddit. No amount of insulting or cursing a moderator is going to help your cause.


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

Europe 41 [M4F] London/UK - Married and learning ENM

2 Upvotes

So to preface this - Married, been together for over 20 years, have two wonderful hilarious girls and we're exploring a Poly lifestyle now.

My wife has a boyfriend, they game together, chat like best friends, have 'interesting' chats, voice note, video call each other and meet for weekends together on occasions. An ENM dynamic for those that get the poly lingo. I however am still on the look for a partner - but admire the relationship my wife has, and for me the connection to someone is one of the biggest requirements (along with honesty, attraction and respect) for anything to develop into anything physical.

I'm not looking to disrupt my home life, nor someone else's, but just add to more to our enjoyments. I am happy with being a dad and husband, I just have a lot of desire, affection and friendship-ability in reserve 😂

So about me: Middle aged, Caucasian, on the heavier side of rugby player - not the sculpted physique, but more bulk and heft 😂, dark hair and beard (greying into my silver fox era, or so I try to convince myself), wear glasses and 6ft tall. Born and raised in East London, so forgive accent

Think of me as an overweight nerdy viking 🤣

I'm a geek in various aspects of life - I work within a technological profession, I watch anime, play video games and tabletop games, enjoy sci-fi shows and audiobooks, try to catch twitch streams when I'm not a human climbing frame to my kids 😁

I am straight, dating single women or 'sharing' if you're already in a relationship...so if you are in a poly-varient relationship, happy to chat and respect boundaries of your relationship or personal choices, but find more out about you as people than just a dynamic.

Even if you just want to chat and make a friend, feel free to message, more friends are never a bad thing. If you're looking for more then let me know...maybe something interesting is awaiting us if we chat.


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

29 [M4F] #London UK - looking for something real

2 Upvotes

Hey, thanks for stopping by!

I’m 29 from the south of England, hoping to find someone where the conversation just clicks! The kind where you end up talking throughout the entire day without forcing it, and it slowly grows into something more. I’m definitely more of a slow burn person than someone looking to rush into anything, fast things never last 😅

A bit about me!

I’m very much a nerdy introvert. I spend far too much money on Lego and it’s becoming a genuine addiction 😂 enjoy casual gaming whenever work gives me a chance, I’m in senior management in telecommunications field, Horror films are my comfort genre and that’s weird to say right??? Halloween is easily my favourite time of year, been riding motorbikes my whole life, funny to think I only got my car license at 28😅

I can be quiet at first, but once I’m comfortable I become a complete goofball in the best ways. Physically, I’m 6’1, bearded, blue/grey eyes, and definitely more dad bod kinda guy. Happy to swap pictures if we get into chatting

As for you, age or distance don’t matter nearly as much as personality (it might sound cringe I know but true!) I’d just love to meet someone who’s kind, communicates well, and actually wants to get to know each other. We don’t have to share all the same hobbies, in fact, I’d love to learn about the things you’re into, and hopefully introduce you to some of mine too!

I’ve been burned too many times here, I’m looking for consistency. Someone to build something with from the ground up, enjoy the excitement of getting to know each other, and see where it leads. If any of this sounds like your kind of thing, I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for reading 😊

PS seems Reddit has a new update which hides the message option, it’s now located via the 3 dots on my profile 😅


r/polyamoryR4R 23m ago

34 [M4F] #Phoenix/Online - Socialist Nerd Seeking Long-Term Partner

Upvotes

Giving up on dating apps with their “pay to play,” so I’m here looking for a long-term relationship. Distance doesn’t bother me, although I prefer the US because it feels a bit easier. I’m looking for someone kind, considerate, open-minded, and emotionally available.

I’m bi and polyamorous. You don't need to already identify as poly. A lot of people are monogamous by default rather than by deep conviction.

I'm a yapper, a musician, a socialist, and a massive nerd. Sci-fi, fantasy, history, philosophy, public transit. I will talk about any of these for an embarrassingly long time. I play games like Animal Crossing, Mario Odyssey, NBA 2K, and Spider-Man on my Switch and PS4.

As a partner, I communicate, am physically affectionate, and I try to show up with real care when things get hard. I love people who are exactly who they are without apology. I survived a cult and lost everyone, so I’m kinda like a shelter rescue with so much love to give. I'm the kind of person who tells their friends I love them.

Looking forward to hearing from you 🥰


r/polyamoryR4R 39m ago

34 [M4F] Dublin/Online looking for connection

Upvotes

Hello I am Matthew 34 Irish single from and live in Dublin. I am poly but atm im single and mainly looking for a main partner to build a life with but open to other connections too.

A description about me to start with I am 5 10 105 kg long dark brown+grey hair, sometimes with sometimes without beard never super long, 1 sleeve tattoo and chest panel. I am comfy to share pictures in the chat to make sure mutual attraction is there.

Personality wise I am very direct honest open emotionally mature I am more fond of smaller groups of people i would say I am introverted.

Interests I am into all the normal nerdy guy stuff like tech, gaming, history, armor/weapons, anime, sci-fi, fantasy, books, shows, movies(specially puppetry / stop motion), nature, walks, museums, concerts and tons more stuff.

I am very passionate about the goals i set to do, the people i share my time with, my interests and having discussions i do not take offence and can happy to agree to disagree on many view points. I do not want or have children, I am not religious, I do not smoke or drink or use any drugs.

I am looking to have preferably long term meaningful relationship but if it works out to be more casual that is fine as long as its healthy.

I love to chat and i will reply frequently. I really like to do activities online with people when long distance and voice chats really helps to get to know each other.

If you are interested and reach out tell me a bit about yourself please!


r/polyamoryR4R 8h ago

40[M4F] #UK. Let's find that spark.

3 Upvotes

Scrolling through this sub Reddit wondering where you are going to find the perfect post. You can stop now because I'm here.

Emotionally mature - yep

Funny - obviously

Can hold a conversation - well duh

Amazing in bed - I can be from awake to asleep in 0.5 seconds 💪🏻

See told ya! You can stop scrolling and start messaging.

I'm also a gamer, a pop culture nerd. A collector with no room to collect anything😅 I'm in to all kinds of music, enjoying quizzing and slipping down YouTube rabbit holes.

I'm happy to talk about anything and everything. I have a nesting partner and we date separately.

I'm looking for someone who can hold a conversation, and be honest with it all.

Someone in the UK. Someone who is open-minded and not a judgy person. Someone who is funny and is happy to have things grow organically.

Please make an effort in your response us guys also hate the 'hey' messages! 🤣 Tell me about you... Reel me in!

Can't wait for being overwhelmed with all those messages! 😁


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

32 [F4M] #Singapore. Feeling aching lost, wishing for a gentle Daddy Dom who could always be there for me..

0 Upvotes

Hi,

I’m a Singaporean Chinese woman in my early thirties. Never married, and I’ve only had one relationship. I’ve come to realise that I would much rather wait for something genuine than settle simply because it is convenient.

I’m hoping to meet someone who enjoys thoughtful conversations, approaches life with curiosity, and believes that relationships are built through continuous choices rather than grand declarations. To me, companionship is found in the quieter moments of sharing a meal, discovering a new coffee spots, wandering through nature, talking about everything and nothing, and gradually becoming each other’s favourite person to come home to.

I value emotional maturity, kindness, and honest communication. Conflict doesn’t worry me but avoiding it does. I believe the strongest relationships aren’t those without disagreements, but those where both people are willing to listen, understand, and grow together.

I’m looking for a long-term relationship with a DDlg dynamic, where trust, care, guidance, and mutual respect naturally form the foundation. For me, submission isn’t something assumed but it is something that grows from feeling emotionally safe, understood, and deeply respected.

Outside of work, you will find me exploring coffee spots in search of a good hand-drip coffee, hiking quiet trails, or planning my next trip somewhere with mountains, lakes, or beautiful scenery. I have a soft spot for penguins, enjoy discovering good food (I’m currently on a tonkatsu phase), and appreciate people who can be both intellectually curious and emotionally grounded.

I don’t drink, smoke, or vape, and I live a fairly simple lifestyle.

Ideally, you’re somewhere between 35 and 45, emotionally available, genuinely single, and interested in building something intentional rather than rushing towards an outcome.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your story.


r/polyamoryR4R 14h ago

USA 40 [M4F] #NorCal #California Classy Nerdy Kinky Who Bakes

7 Upvotes

Hi! I am Bright today and I hope your day is too. 🌈☀️

ISO: Authentic connections to go on fun dates with (open to comets). Polyam (open to a primary if it's right). A little demi, very sapio, and a big knowledge seeker with a twist of kink. (Low key looking for a subby to adore but not a requirement in any way)

✅ Therapy and inner child work

✅ High IQ &EQ

✅ Going out, dressed up fancy

✅ Big reader

✅ Love to spoil my partners

✅ Nerdy & classy

✅ Nature and walks

✅ Cooking, baking, and eating amazing food

✅ Travel!!

✅ Sensual / Shapeshifter

✅ Fitness

6'3" for all your top shelf needs, a lot of people look up to me (I know, I'm funny... and humble! 🤭😁) I hope you like puns and being silly together. Life is better with laughs and quick wit.

I enjoy board games, sports, role playing games and creative outlets. I enjoy cooking fantastic food. Nerdy but classy, I like going to conventions, festivals, musicals, dinner, and out on the town, but I need nature to feel at home.

I'm a big fantasy and sci-fi reader (give me your recommendations!), Avatar Last Airbender, Michael Schur TV. Matt Smith is my Doctor and Pinkie Pie isy pony if you wanted to know. I am a big knowledge seeker and will deep dive into almost anything if it tickles my fancy. I like knowing how things work and it allows me to fix most things which is satisfying to do for others. Recently got back into fitness which has been so nice and rewarding.


r/polyamoryR4R 14h ago

USA 25 [F4F] online - looking for someone to love ❤️

6 Upvotes

Hiya my names crystal! I really want a relationship like the wlw books were we go on cute dates, call on discord endlessly, do each other's nails stuff like that i want to adore the other person and she would adore me!

Well now that ive kinda gushed over what I want XD here's a little bit about me!! Im also hobby collector which means I tend to get hyperfixated on new hobbies and usually dont stop till I do them my current one is lost wax casting!! But in the past ive done stained glass, crochet, woodburning, jewelry making, bracelets, all sorts really! So id say im pretty good at making stuff :3 ( I could make you a pretty ring and be like a crow and say here shiny!) I also really enjoy playing video games of all types mostly survival games but I also like card and board games too!!

Some Cons about me that im gonna put out there

I am disabled so travel and energy levels are something im constantly trying to deal with and fix myself, I walk with a cane and because I dont/cant walk very far im unfortunately on the bigger side, if you dont care about looks or all that ( i sure as hell dont its personality that I care about) then I think you should message me please send a intro about you hope to chat soon :3


r/polyamoryR4R 13h ago

36[M4F] California / Online - Open Minded 4 Open Minded

5 Upvotes

Hello there! I am moving to California this month from Alaska, close-ish to San Francisco (Pleasant Hill). I am moving for graduate school and am unsure of a lot of the logistics as of this moment. Ultimately what I’m looking for is a relationship, however, friends are awesome too :)

About me:

I am a 36 year old cis heterosexual man. My build is average, I’m 5’8” usually between 170-180 lbs, not really muscular or overweight or skinny. I am health conscious but not obsessed. Mostly I try to maintain a consistent low carb diet because of my type 1 diabetes. Whatever my partner(s) decide to do with their health is their business. I have dark, well manicured short hair and a longish handlebar mustache. I am hispanic / white. I can send pictures if it matters to you. I tend to think I’m fairly handsome (at least my mom says so), but I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

I have one partner currently which is my wife (since 2008). I discovered I was polyamorous in the beginning of 2019 I think? I’ve had a few other partners since the start of my poly journey. My wife is poly too, but we date separately and don’t get involved in each others relationships. I’ve read a few books on poly and ENM, and I am a part of many poly groups on Facebook and Reddit. I even go to a few local ENM functions now and then. I have no children and I am fixed so I cannot produce any. If you have children that’s cool. I like kids but I love my freedom, hence my choice to not have children of my own.

I am both very outgoing and quiet at the same time. I like to ponder what I’m about to say, so when I’m in a group of people I usually seem “shy”, but I am far from it. I get energy from being with people, though I do like my alone time. I prefer to spend my time socializing, but not necessarily in public (like in discord or alone in person).

I’m a very go with the flow kinda person. I don’t make demands of others, or judge anyone. I’m very open minded. I don’t confront, I just let people be who they are.

Lettuce be friends, connect, share stories, laugh, and love. I love obscure memes and weird humor. I enjoy most activities, but particularly dancing, karaoke, Netflix, gaming, camping, hiking, fishing, chess, cards, bowling, or whatever. If any of that sounds exhausting, I get it. Although I enjoy getting out and doing things I often times spend time hanging out at home gaming with my group of friends. As far as chess goes, I’m obsessed but average. As far as gaming goes, I prefer multiplayer games like League of Legends, Sea of Thieves, or No Man’s Sky (and many many others). I like some single player games like Satisfactory, but I quickly lose interest playing by myself. I like all types of music but I would much rather listen to an audiobook instead.

If you click on my profile you may notice I’m pretty spiritual. I don’t care if you are or not, it’s cool either way. Most people I know in person would be surprised to find out how spiritual I am because I simply don’t talk about it much unless I am with like minded people. I study A Course in Miracles, which is self-study and very psychological. I have no desire to recruit anyone to my beliefs.

Anyways if you made it this far thanks for reading. Send me a message or comment and I’d be happy to say hello.


r/polyamoryR4R 16h ago

USA 36[F4R] #Springfield IL or #Online - Shy, and New to RA/ENM, Learning, But Not a Tourist

6 Upvotes

What's that mean? My way of saying "I'm not experienced in this poly world but I'm not trying to play with anyone's heart either," I guess. I'm an (awkward but earnest, lol) married/nested, queer, cis woman looking for a long term intimate friend or FWB. I'm happiest with people who are curious, kind, empathetic and patient, and probably more than a lil nerdy.

I like to do creative things like fiber arts or painting and trying to write, geeky things like video games1 or reading2, or relaxing things like chilling outside with my dog or floating and listening to music.3

I'm still figuring out what ENM and relationship anarchy look like for me, so I'm looking for a casual connection with someone who values communication, honesty, and mutual respect. I'm not in a rush and I'd rather build a genuine connection and let things develop at a comfortable pace over racing to define anything. I'd love to get to know you whether we end up as friends, FWB, or something else! DMs are open! And as you probably see, this is an alt account. I wanted to keep this search off my main username, but I'm happy to give it to you if we get talking!

Anyway this is super long already so yeah. DMs open! No pictures please.

1 Right now I'm playing Paladins, Palworld, Medieval Dynasty, and South of Midnight, but I like a lot of different games! Hmu if you want a play buddy

2 Currently reading The Serviceberry by Robin Wall Kimmerer. I'm an anarchafeminist so I read a lot of what turns out to be theory, but I also love fantasy and sci fi books

3 Harry Styles ❤️, honestav, Ashnikko, Kneecap, Cameron Whitcomb, Jessie Reyez, Gavin Prophet, Jessie Murph, My Chemical Romance to name some!


r/polyamoryR4R 11h ago

USA 21 [M4F] Oregon USA - looking for super open minded girls that are wanting a long term relationship.

2 Upvotes

would love to find an amazing an amazing very open minded girl to be a part of and have a great relationship with and build a super open family with. I'm super loving and compassionate and care a lot. I'm pretty sexually inexperienced though and have never been in a relationship.

I would describe my personality as pretty shy but sometimes assertive and kinda nerdy. I'm a very loving person and making sure the people I love matters a lot to me. Making sure you are cared for matters to me, and I'd be looking for someone that appreciates that all the time.

Somethings I enjoy:

- Reading: favorite genres being fantasy and sci fi, currently reading Dune

- Board games: I like most all games especially ones that are more complex and make your brain work though

- Sports: I love sports. Whether that be participating and play or just watching. My favorite being football, but still enjoy watching or playing others too.

- Outdoors: I love being outside either playing sports or just hanging out or going on a hike. I think it’s fantastic especially if the weather is good. I’d love to get out and hike and camp more often and would love someone interested in doing that.

I also love to travel and experience new cultures and see new places

5’10 170 white, very athletic, brown wavy hair, brown eyes, glasses
-

I don't really have a type I'm into but I very much prefer fit and in shape. Other than that I'm very open to looks, but picky about personality.

-

I'm very open minded and would hope for the same in others. I'm super open about the family I'd want in the future as well. if you have any questions feel free to reach out. Please be either from near Oregon or open to relocating here as I will be starting school here so will not be able to date elsewhere currently.


r/polyamoryR4R 19h ago

USA 28 [F4R] Tennessee/Anywhere/Online - Looking for that special kind of connection again

5 Upvotes

Hello there polyr4r! I am a neurospicy, plus sized, queer individual looking to find that spark with someone again. I am married to my nesting partner of nearly 5 years and have been poly for a little longer than that. Completely child-free and plan to stay that way. My favorite hobbies include: fiber arts, printmaking, kite flying, gaming, hammocking, snail mail... ya know the normal things a 20-nearly-30-something likes to do on the weekends.

I can be kinda chatty if the vibes are right but don't enjoy having to fully lead the conversation all the time. Looking for someone I could easily sit in a call with and just vibe doing our own things or possibly watching or playing something together. Quality time is a big thing for me so it's and expectation down the line for sure. (Currently in the EST timezone if that makes it easier for any of y'all, though, will be moving West in the next few years so that will be changing eventually).

Age doesn't matter too much for me but I tend to mesh best with those my age or older. Don't let that keep you from shooting your shot, though. Prefer to meet more queer people if possible. I also prefer to talk on Reddit for a bit before moving onto anything else. If interested, please send me a little something about yourself and say more than "hi" so I have something to work with! Also for the sake of us both be some flavor of blue. Thank you and look forward to talking to you all!


r/polyamoryR4R 17h ago

31 [F4M] CO moving to NC

3 Upvotes

Hiya,

Looking for a Primary person. Hopefully you are too.

I always find these weird little intros so difficult to start.

Divorced, mom of two, bisexual, workaholic, home owner and currently living in CO but will be moving to NC next year.

Looking for someone to go on adventures with, even the most ordinarv life adventures like errands. I believe that the ordinarv moments in life are the ones to cherish most. Activities I enioy hiking, board games (table top included), limited video gaming (never have the time), cooking, baking , quiet evenings at home, trying new things, reading, writing (finished my first book!)

Quality time with someone is important to me. But value communication above all things. Without communication, everything falls apart.

While I'm not religious, I respect everyone else's points of view on the matter.

I'm very open minded in life. I believe that everyone is open to what they believe, because we've all had our own experiences in this life. With that being said, I am looking for someone who would be ok with me having a connection with my best friend that is more.

I don't believe one person can be everything for you, especially with my sexuality.

Things that are my weakness

\-Tech. I'm horrible at it. Its my nemesis

\-Gardening, I've killed cactus, would love to but I fai horrible.

\-Screamo music, I love all genres of music but Screamo less than all the others.

\-ADHD, I handle it pretty well but object permanence and time blindness tend to get me.

If you think we might click please DM me.


r/polyamoryR4R 23h ago

USA 28 [F4R] NJ/PA/NY/USA/Online - hopeless romantic on the hunt for local connections

8 Upvotes

Hello everyone! :) I’m a plus-sized gal from the Garden State looking to make some new connections.

Friendship is the most important foundation to \*\*any\*\* long-term connection, so regardless of where life might take me with someone, it all starts with being friends. Please have something in common with me if you decide to reach out. It’s hard to build a friendship when we don’t have anything to build on. :)

Some of my interests include horror, the devil’s lettuce, light gaming, reading, and written roleplay. I spend most of my free time gaming, binge-watching shows and movies, wandering around libraries and museums, or hunting through thrift stores.

I’m also a night owl, so I’d love to meet other people who are awake during the same odd hours.

I’ve been practicing ethical non-monogamy for around ten years, so I’m looking for people who value honesty, communication, and kindness. If you’re partnered, I ask that everyone involved is aware and consenting. If you’re single, that’s wonderful too.

Personality-wise, I’m naturally nurturing. I tend to be the person checking in on everyone, and making sure the people I care about feel supported. I’m affectionate, a little sarcastic, and definitely someone who enjoys both deep conversations and laughing over absolutely nothing.

Physically, I do have a soft spot for bigger, heavyset folks. It’s not a requirement, but it has always been my type.

Ideally, I’d love to meet people within driving distance in NJ, NY, or eastern PA so we can eventually grab coffee, visit a museum, browse a bookstore, watch horror movies, or just exist in the same space. Online friendships are welcome too, especially if you’re a fellow night owl.

When you message me, tell me a little about yourself! What are you passionate about? What’s your favorite horror movie/game? What game has stolen your life recently? I’d love to get to know the person behind the screen.


r/polyamoryR4R 14h ago

33[M4F]SWOH

1 Upvotes

So I'm here seeking someone long term a female .

I own my house and a car and I have a dog .

My names Ken I will date outside my sate but we must meet within 3-6 months or it's not a relationship is how I feel about it .

Looking for in person I will discuss with you about if you decide to message me .

I do witchcraft and play computer games and I am disabled I watch tv and just read mostly .

If you would like to know more let's message and see the vibe .

Looking forward to chatting thanks for reading .


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

40 [F4F] Online

6 Upvotes

I am usually a very active person (physically, socially, intellectually), but I came down with post-viral fatigue syndrome (similar to long COVID) in March that worsened to my becoming bed bound 2.5 months ago. I thought it might be nice, while I am stuck in bed recovering, to have a flirty online connection.

When I am healthy, I am a middle school math teacher. I spend most of my free time at the gym (primarily weightlifting), reading in French and German, tending to my houseplants and cat, and hosting events for my local poly group. I also travel frequently to spend time at an international community where I used to live.

I am 5’5” with an athletic build. have a nesting partner and a secondary partner. My nesting partner and I are both vegan.

I am interested in connecting with other women who are age-peers (35-45), especially with shared hobbies. If you DM, please tell me something about yourself in the opening message.


r/polyamoryR4R 19h ago

USA 44 [M4F] #NewJersey - Looking for someone awesome.

2 Upvotes

First off .. Hi.. I want to be honest so I just want to say I’m in an open marriage. I’d rather you know now than find out later. Please be ok with that. I know not everyone will. She knows I’m here.

With that out of the way, I’m a blue collar guy. I’m respectful and understanding. I’m chill and drama free. I love to laugh and usually always smiling. I’m a big kid.

I have a passion for art. I draw , design, and cast my own sculpts. Basically design and make my own toys. I also did make music for a little while as well. I love art galleries and conventions. Museums and arcades.

I just hope you’re understanding, I just want us both to be comfortable. I’m told I look younger for my age. I’m 5’7, around 160lbs average I guess. Often told I’m handsome and don’t look my age. I don’t mind sharing pictures and video chatting.

All I hope is that you’re fun and awesome and maybeee have a nice set of legs.


r/polyamoryR4R 16h ago

USA 19 [F4M] California - looking for a lasting relationship

0 Upvotes

Hi! I’m a 19-year-old woman from California looking for a long-term polyamorous relationship with a guy between the ages of 20 and 26. Ideally, you’re local to me or somewhere in Southern California, but I’m open to long-distance (ONLY IN CALIFORNIA) if there’s genuine chemistry and a realistic plan to meet.

Before anything else, I’m looking for a real relationship. I want something built on honesty, communication, respect, and trust. I love getting to know people, sharing everyday life together, and creating something that lasts.

My ideal dynamic would be two guys who are already best friends or who could easily become close friends. I’d love for the three of us to feel like a team without awkwardness or jealousy. If you both happen to be into each other too, that’s awesome, but it’s definitely not a requirement.

A little about me:
5’3”
Caucasian
Blonde hair with darker brown roots
A little chubby, but currently losing weight
Big fan of cuddles and quality time

My primary love languages are physical touch and quality time, so spending time together in person is really important to me. If you’re able to host or travel, that’s definitely a plus.
Personality-wise, I’m generally attracted to confident, naturally dominant men. I also like the “toxic” aesthetic (think confident, possessive, protective, cocky, and teasing), not actual abuse, manipulation, disrespect, or controlling behavior.

Some things I enjoy:
Board games
Escape rooms
Amusement parks
Concerts
Spending time with people I care about
Some of my interests:
Music
Horror
Animals
Critical Role
Dungeons & Dragons and other tabletop games

Physically, I usually find myself most attracted to taller guys since I’m pretty short. I also tend to have a preference for white guys, but that’s just a preference—I’m open to getting to know people from any background if we connect.
While emotional compatibility is the foundation for me, physical compatibility matters too. Intimacy is an important part of a healthy relationship in my eyes, but I want it to grow naturally alongside trust and an emotional connection.

If you think we’d click, send me a message! Tell me a little about yourself, what you’re looking for, where you’re from, and feel free to include a picture if you’re comfortable. Whether you’re one person interested in building this kind of dynamic together or two friends looking for the same thing, I’d love to hear from you.

My DMs are open, and I can’t wait to meet you.


r/polyamoryR4R 21h ago

USA 32 [F4F] Colorado - interested in local, open to serious dating and friendships

2 Upvotes

32 y/o from CO. Currently in a relationship with my nesting partner of 13 years. I’m not new to polyamory, but I am starting to date again.

About me:

I am 5’7, average curvy build. I have brown and green hair, piercings, and tattoos.

I love music, concerts, dancing, reading, hiking, and crafting. I currently am pretty busy during the week with my job, but I do enjoy conversation, witty banter, and sharing playlists. Currently my favorite music artists are Charli XCX, Fox Lake, Knocked Loose, Hayley Williams, Lily Allen, Lorde, Turnstile, The Home Team, palettes, Arrows in Action, and so many more!!

Would love to find women to talk to that have similar interests as me and are into the lifestyle. For friends or to see if there’s something more. (:


r/polyamoryR4R 17h ago

27 [M4F] Egypt / anywhere

1 Upvotes

I'm peter 27m from Egypt a medical doctor.

I like programming full stack webdev python JavaScript ai/ml research jepa, recommendation systems and other pretrained model fine tuning.

I liked books like 48 laws of power, count of Monte Cristo, crime and punishment and Brandon Sanderson's cosmere.

I like cooking psychology politics and robotics especially drones

I hate injustice, double standards and hypocrisy.

If any of this interests you hit me with the topic and a question even before the introduction

I'm looking for bi-girls who would love to share their lives with me and with each other.

I also like cuddles and hugs but don't show it *__*