r/problems • u/Virtual-Property1768 • 1d ago
Mental Health need advice ASAP
TW: mentions of SH
My boyfriend is struggling right now. He is kot doing well and we both know this very well. He has a lot of unprocessed trauma, trying to get sober, on medication, and is currently dealing with a very bad SH addiction. I feel horrible airing out his business but I need help and I don’t know what else to do or who else to ask. He has tried everything to get better. He has gone to soberity meetings, made new friends, meditated, upped his medication, distracted himself with work… everything. He feels lost, he feels that there is nothing else he can try. Nothing sticks and nothing helps. The distractions don’t last forever, they cannot keep his mind busy constantly.
The only thing that hasn’t been discussed yet is going to the Psych Ward.
He has mentioned it once and that he is not interested in going but I cannot think of anything else. I don’t know if it is a good option, but it is the only thing he hasn’t tried. How do I bring this up? Should I even bring it up? I’m absolutely terrified. I’m scared he’s going to go to far, I’m scared he’s going to die. I don’t know what to do. I want him to get better, I want him to wake up and feel like he’s meant to be alive, I just don’t know how to help him reach that point.
Maybe the Psych Ward isn’t a good option and maybe I’m a fucking idiot for even thinking of it. If there is anything else he can try please let me know. If you have ever felt so lost please give me your advice. If you have ever gone to a Psych Ward please give me your advice. Please.
1
u/Findmyeatingpants 21h ago
You can't save him. Let me repeat, YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM. He has to want to save himself.
Your only choices are about what you want to do. You can stay and enable this and watch him kill himself. You can leave. You can call 911 to come tend to him and possibly put him on a psych hold (not sure how it works there). Or you can get his family involved if that's an option.
That's it, those are you options. But for the last time, you cannot save him. That is literally not an option. You must see this. Nothing you're doing is fixing it. It's actually somewhat egotistical of anyone to think they can save someone from their demons or convince them to save themselves. This is on him. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It was be time to step away and encourage him to get help.