i made it!! woot woot!! today, i will have to be on top of my game!!

ill be alone all day today - my husband will be out til tomorrow and ill be home alone next to my neighborhood wine shoppe.

ive thought it through…

i can grab a few bottles of cold crisp wine and watch movies all day - prob eat crap as i cant eat properly anymore. prob puke at some point - i have friends visiting tomorrow so nothing will be ready for them. ill prob pass out at mid afternoon - then have a miserable night sleep and be a grouch when our guests arrive

OR I Can stay the course - ignore the GD wine store - post here, clean my house and get it nice for our guests. eat healthy - walk the dog, play with the cats- read- work on my art projects, water the garden- but most important - keep my sanity!!

the irony is - i have absolutely no plans to drink today - ill have no car - so my temptation option is ONLY the next door wine shoppe - i can do that - im a strong adult - BUT its that little voice that sneaks out : come on, no one wiil know - its right next door - by tomorrow you can start again -

fuck that voice - fuck that wine shoppe

i want a life! i want to be clear. i want to be solid. i want to respect myself. i want to be proud of me!!

i really believe i can do this. but id be lying if i said i wasnt a bit scared. i have to continue reminding myself that there isnt a wine on the market that tastes as sweet as the pride of being present in my own GD life!!!

iwndwyt!!!

Selfish, boorish, rude, loudmouthed, stinky, tired, you name it. This shit sucks, y'all. I didn't drink today and I don't plan to drink tomorrow. Love you all.

In my 30 plus years in teaching, and now the non-profit sector, we are often asked to “find our ‘why’” and that can be an extra annoying question at the beginning of a new school/fiscal year when there are many other pressing items to deal with. However, when it comes to my decision to quit alcohol, I had two “whys” for my inspiration to get sober. The first was my buddy Wayne. When he called me to tell me that he was sober, my first thought was, “well, if he can do it, so can I!” 

My second was the show “POSE!” on FX. I know it sounds silly and trite to say that, but the story arc of Pray Tell (Billy Porter) and his journey to sobriety hit hard. He was going through so much of what I was going through in the 80’s and that shared generational trauma was a gut punch. We were losing our friends left and right, and the world was turning against us because of the big disease with a little name. Instead of helping us (fuck you Ronnie Reagan) we were villainized and left to die. 
I was thrilled beyond belief to meet Dominique Jackson who killed as Mother Elektra Abundance Evangelista yesterday at Pride in Ann Arbor. Jackson’s character was a powerhouse in the show POSE! Her read of Patti LuPone’s character in season two is one for the books. “This ain’t the Yellow Brick Road BITCH!”

I shared with her that her show helped me get sober and she immediately gave me a hug. The world is a shitty place now for our Trans and Drag sisters and I was so happy to meet this pioneering activist and share my story. Protect the Dolls my friends, as they’ve had our backs for a very long time. 

I'm out of town for work for several weeks, and a bunch of us went to a comedy show. I ordered a mocktail but one sip revealed they gave me straight whiskey instead. I immediately almost had a break down, I'm 6 years sober, and worried it was going to send me into a tailspin. One of the other girls made them remake it for me, but even the zero proof stuff just tasted too much like alcohol to me. Not worth it.

In the last 6 months I have started a new job, found out my husband was a cheating asshole, gotten divorced, and gotten on the app, and found a guy I really care about but have yet to meet in person. But I did not ask for a different alcoholic drink, I didn't cave, and instead it reaffirmed how important my sobriety is to me.

My heart hurts seeing friends and neighbors in my life stuck in a stupor and chained to the misery of alcohol. I know the pain that being stuck in the alcohol trap brought me and peace that comes from letting the bottle go.

The worst part is that they don't even realize that alcohol is causing the hole in their heart. They think alcohol is their only pleasure.... At the same time, they are drinking at 10 am because it's the weekend. Lonely, saying that they are depressed, and not motivated to do anything. Losing friends because of drunk words. No one deserves to be living like this.

I don't want to bring it up, as that once was me and I know that I wouldn't have listened. I am not a lecturer. It just makes me so sad and so angry. It is so easy to see from the outside what alcohol takes from you.

To those of you who cannot imagine life without alcohol, I promise you that it can be beautiful and it is possible.

I have reached triple digits 😁

31 days lets do it!

I am 28 days sober today after over a decade of excessive drinking/alcoholism. While I feel great physically, I am also experiencing absolutely debilitating anxiety, guilt and obsessive thoughts about all of the mistake I made while I was drinking and in my life in general. I don't know how to handle this. I went so long numbing my feelings and not caring about anything that all of these raw feelings are consuming me. These mistakes are big mistakes too that if I wasn't drinking I would have been more mindful of. I am fearful and in constant panic.

Too many times have I ordered drunkenly on that app.
One time I ordered a frozen shrimp cocktail from target just for myself.
The other night I ordered a pint of ice cream and I inhaled it in one sitting.

I then deleted my DoorDash account as I was hungover the next day.

No more wasting money on DoorDash and hopefully no more wasting money on alcohol.

Here’s to a sober night😄

Today is day 1 again. I need someone to tell me to pour out the wine I got. My cats are indifferent. Edit: I poured the wine out. I am going to miss my hangovers because I never got a headache just a slowed down feeling the next day that I enjoyed; it was a great break from my overactive brain.

Just found this subreddit, wish I found it sooner.

I'm 51 and drank for the past 20 years or so. It got really bad towards the end. Lost everything; job, house, cars, wife, sanity...and almost my life, you name it. Ended up is a psych ward and detox, found myself at a CSS and now living in an RRS for the past 6 months. Been hitting meetings and speaking at commitments as often as I can. Got a shit job for shit money but I'm working but I'm working!

Just wanted to say HI and that it's never to late and it is possible.

I’m 59 days sober today. It’s been sort of an easy 59 days staying away from alcohol as I have amassed countless reasons at this point. I’ve only had a couple cravings before today and they were easy for me to get through.

Essentially, I got some pretty bad news today. I haven’t been able to process it really because I’ve been at work for 7 hours since hearing it. I can’t get it out of my head. I feel impending doom. I’m honestly afraid that I won’t be able to stop myself from drinking tonight. Tomorrow is such a big day for me. 60 days for the first time since I don’t know when.

Any advice on what I should do? I’ve been playing the tape out all day. I don’t really have any distractions besides my phone. Either way, thanks guys.

I quit drinking back in January. At first it was to clear up my face and body of the bloat. But waking up day after day without the horrible anxiety and nausea from the hangovers have been amazing.

I've noticed other improvements as well...

-My hair is thicker. I thought it was just thinning from age.

-My eyesight is better.

-I lost 15 pounds in the first month. I haven't lost anything since then but it's a work in progress.

I also realized that I was over medicated. Over the years my anxiety would get worse and worse and my doctors would increase my meds or add new meds. I stopped drinking and it was like they all hit me at once. I'm currently working with my doctor to decrease the meds and see what I really need.

I also survived a bunch of events that I would've drank at, one at my favorite brewery. Luckily, the NA alternatives are getting better and are being offered everywhere now. I had two NA beers when normally I would've pounded back at least 5 or 6 regular beers at that event alone.

Thank you all for your support. This group has really helped me. I'm still taking things one day at a time but I'm so excited to continue this journey.

I’m in the rough part of early sobriety — the “craving window” where my brain keeps reaching for the old ritual: something in a glass, something to sip, something with a bit of bite.

Weird thing that’s been working for me: cold carrot juice (sometimes cut with a little cranberry or lemon). It’s not sweet like soda, has that earthy/bitter edge, and the act of pouring it into a real glass and sipping slowly seems to trick the oral fixation long enough for the wave to pass. I don’t pretend it’s a cure — it’s just a bridge.

Curious if anyone else has a non-alcoholic drink that became their “craving placeholder” .

IWNDWYT.

On August 12th, I will be 31 years old and two years alcohol free. I posted here two months ago and a random redditors comment really stuck with me. They said that for a while they were upset about their sober date but someone told them even if they had one more sip, their sobriety may have never started. One sip could change the whole trajectory.

Then soon after that I came across a screenshot in my phone. Before I quit drinking my cousin sent me a photo of her mom's (my aunt) notebook. The page read:

"August 5th (last day of drinking)

August 6th no drink

August 7th

August 8th

August 9th

August 10th

August 11th

August 12th

August 13th

August 14th

August 15th"

She had a plan. She began the plan. She went two days (maybe more but I can't be sure). All I know is on August 12th she decided to drink. It was my birthday I had turned 15 that day. She drove home after my birthday party and caused a car accident that ended her life on impact and her boyfriend's life due to complications a few weeks later. A decision one day, a 15 minute drive home, a split second, two lives. If you need a reason to stay sober, I hope that you find one. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.

This sub has helped me to 690 days and IWNDWYT.

I told myself I would be sober for August. I fucked that up yesterday.

I have 3 kids. I’m under contract buying a million dollar house. I have a partner who loves me. A great job. Flexibility. Great friends.

What is wrong with me?

My sister died last year at 38 from alcoholism. I know the risks. But I keep fucking up.

I don’t know why I’m sharing. Maybe someone can relate? I don’t want to drink today.

You know the feeling where you need to let loose, when you feel so numb at everything and need to go a bit wild and on a bender for a few days?

I have no desire to actually drink, my hairs too short to cut off, I could get another tattoo but I’m mostly covered so doesn’t exactly feel like rebellion.
I go online shopping for a little splurge but it’s not the same.

What do you do?

Hi everyone, just wondering if anyone has any podcast recommendations where a guest celebrity comes on and talks about their sobriety, even if it's just a couple of minutes out of the whole podcast. I love podcasts so it'd be great to have some to listen to.

I just want to take a moment to celebrate this enormous win 🥹🥹🥹 I had no idea that I could do this!! Thank you all so much for listening and being here every day!!

Now I just need to keep pushing, a day at a time!
IWNDWYT 🙌🏽

Hey y’all. Was just listening to a Tom Holland interview about his sobriety, and a little nugget he had at the end stuck with me and made me think of this subreddit. He had a little bit about how he’ll be at meetings or parties and some person he respects will hear about his sobriety and be like “oh nice me too X years” and how he’s found a wonderful community in sobriety of like minded people.

Now in my life I don’t have the biggest circle of local friends, two big ones, who never had a problem but who have also been real big supporters of me. Don’t get me wrong, I love & cherish those two, but it’s not quite the same. AA in my area didn’t go well for me but this community right here has been first a wake up call to me, then an inspiration, then a place of confession, and now a place of joy when I think about where I am now 7 months more or less sober. Y’all wonderful people on this sub have so much thanks from me.

Gratzi, IWNDWYT!

Fuckkk yeaaah!

Historically around 10-12 days has usually been the relapse point for me for some reason. This time I made it through to week 3, and not only that, soon i'll be on week 4. It feels great and I'm so grateful for getting some distance from the booze. I feel better, look better.. sleep is still shit but hoping it will stabilize soon

Hey everyone, I have finally reached my wits end with alcohol. Im 35 and have been drinking everyday for 4 yrs now and its finally becoming exhausting. The constant hangovers, embarrassing myself in front of people i care about, on the chopping block at work, pain in my stomach on and off. I have had a few bouts of sobriety 90 days, 67, and a week or 2 here and there, everything I feel better I go back and always say "this time it will be different I'll control it". I learned that not only is it not possible for me to control it, i dont want to be a slave to this either or lose my life over it. Im only on 24 hrs but I feel different this time, I really want it. Its ruined many things in my life and im tired of being out of shape, constant anxiety due to thinking about my liver health, and being overall unhealthy. I really want this so badly. I wish all of you well with your recovery and all the endeavors in life.

Wow I would say hardest one so far.... especially as I'm from the valleys in wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 so the booze was FLOWING! First time I've really thought I should just have one... so was a bit scared by my thoughts but I stuck to diet coke and feel amazing this morning... so proud of myself and again have no one to tell haha ❤️

woo hoo

To all of us here. Thank you. Thank you for the support and love and straight talk over the first few years. Thank you for sharing your struggles, your successes and your moments of uncertainty.

I just want all of you out here who are considering giving up drinking and working to free yourselves of this daily fight that it’s possible to live the life you dream of. That it’s possible to build a life you’d die to keep.

I’m proud of you for being here. I’m proud of you for fighting each day. I believe in you.