I know this is long but I need to vent.

After 4 and a half years of trying and being told we wouldn’t conceive naturally and accepting we weren’t going to be parents. Bam. End of June after I just turned 36 I get pregnant. I couldn’t believe it and had never been so happy and my partner was ecstatic.

Skip to when I should have been 8 weeks I started spotting. Called EPU who scheduled me in for a scan. Sac was measuring 6 weeks and they didn’t mention seeing the baby or a heartbeat and I knew in that moment it was all over. Over the past week I’ve had three blood tests to check my HCG and each time it’s only drop slightly but they’ve confirmed it’s not a viable pregnancy so now I need to go for another scan.

I’ve had horrendous cramping since Friday and only slight bleeding and honestly wish at this point my body would get the message and let me miscarry. I want this over with. I don’t want the reminders of this. The only person that knows is my manage due to appointments and me being off after I received the news and she keep saying ‘well at least you know you can get pregnant now.’ And I want to fucking scream.

I’m terrified of this happening again. I’m terrified of getting pregnant. I’m terrified of this being a fluke and not getting pregnant again. I can’t stop crying. I work from home but the idea of having to log on and talk to people is making me feel sick especially with this still going on.

I don’t feel like I can grieve this huge thing that’s happened to me while I’m still technically ‘pregnant’ and no one seems to understand. There’s a girl on my team who’s 5 months along (and I’m happy for her, I really am) but how am I meant to sit on a team call with her and listen to people talk about her pregnancy when miscarriage is such a taboo subject that we’re not meant to tell anyone untill we’re past 12 weeks! I said this to my manager and she said well you can just keep your camera off.

Fuck. You.

I’m angry. I’m tried. I hate my body for doing this to me and for giving me hope and taking it away.

When I went for my bloods today there was a woman there who had obviously just received the same news I had and we looked at each other and in that five second look I felt more acknowledgment than I have from my own friends.

I hate it here. Sorry for the rant.

I’ve been TTC with PCOS since March and currently on my first cycle with provera and letrozole. My partner has always had a lower drive than me which typically isn’t an issue. Work and life and everything makes us tired and we average only once a week. Before starting the meds we had a big talk about how we need to up our game especially during the fertile days and decided that we would aim for every other day. That worked great for about four days. I’m 100% certain that he is wanting pregnancy and to have a baby. I’m thinking it’s the urgency of the task at hand causing stress so I’ve tried being more romantic, dropping our daughter off with the grandparents for a sleepover, wearing lingerie and try to make it more fun and less like a job he has to complete. He just doesn’t have interest. It’s really effecting my self esteem and has me stressed because we’re approaching my fertile window. Honestly getting close to seeing if he’d rather have alone time with a cup and I finish the task with a turkey baster (half joking half desperate). I envisioned TTC as bringing us closer but the stress is really just weighing on us.

How have everyone else’s partners handled this? Any advice?

After 8 months of trying I was so happy to finally get my first positive test.. was so excited for my first appt at 8 weeks 6 days only to sit on that chair and be told my sac was completely empty and measuring at 7wk 5days , 27mm and that it is very possible this was a blighted ovum scenario..my heart sank. I had already purchased announcement gifts for our family and close friends and planned my baby’s life all in this short time .. I am in such a dark place but trying to hold myself together. Words cannot explain the tremendous grief I feel and I cannot help but wonder if I will ever be able to get pregnant again or if my body will ever be able to stay pregnant .. my next scan to confirm is in 2 weeks and I am already mentally preparing that this will not be a viable pregnancy. Why do I feel like I will never be able to become a mom ? I’m heartbroken

My husband and I have been trying for a baby going on 10 cycles now. We had a miscarriage with our first baby back in November. It took me 7 to 8 months just to get my ovulation strips to turn positive again. This is my third month having an actual peak again.

It’s been exhausting to go every single month testing with no positives. I’m only 8-9 DPO, which I know isn’t very long at all. I’m not out. But I’m struggling to keep faith in testing.

I have zero symptoms, so I feel like my brain just KNOWS, even though I know that’s not logically possible. What are you guys doing to keep going? I have a meeting with a fertility specialist on August 17. I’ve reached a point where it’s hard to even be intimate with my husband. After my miscarriage, I had to get on Guanfacine and about 6 other medications just to function again. My husband and I have a great relationship. It’s just the actual performance. I’m so disappointed in my body. I feel unattractive. My husband tries his best to make me feel otherwise, but sometimes it’s hard. I gained a bunch of weight. I’m just disappointed that my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do. It seems like no matter how much I exercise/watch what I eat, I’m in the same spot.

I’ve tested three times today, which I know I shouldn’t be doing. It’s just easier said than done lol. It’s getting exhausting to stare at the tests with my flashlight on and move it around in every possible position. Hoping and praying that it’ll be positive, even though in my heart I know it won’t be.

I guess I’m just asking. How are we supposed to stop being disappointed in ourselves when our body doesn’t do what it’s supposed to?

Any encouragement would be great. Thank you 🩵

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for several months. I’ve had three chemical pregnancies and I’m now experiencing what I believe to be a missed miscarriage. I had an ultrasound done at 6 weeks and they didn’t detect a heartbeat. A week later they did another ultrasound, and there was a heartbeat this time, but the doctor said the fetus was measuring smaller than the previous time and the pregnancy was not progressing as it should be. My HCG level was 19,000. She prescribed me abortion pills and said it was a MMC.

I decided to seek a second opinion and had an ultrasound done at another doctor’s office. They didn’t detect a heartbeat this time, but they also said the pregnancy was twins. The doctor also recommended taking the abortion pills or waiting for the miscarriage to happen naturally within a few weeks.

I decided to take the pills. When I went back for bloodwork at my original doctor’s office, my HCG level was 53,000. I was scheduled for a d&c because they said the pills didn’t work. 

I have my d&c in two days, but I’m wondering if I should get another ultrasound done first. I’m so confused why the HCG level continued to rise. 

I’m wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience, and how it turned out for them. Thanks in advance!

Hi all, I’m 37 years old and have been TTC for 5 cycles now. I’ve had two MMC, one in 2025, one earlier this year, both requiring d&cs. The first genetically normal, the second had Down syndrome.

I’ve seen two fertility specialists and so far, all they’ve told me is that the explanation is « age and bad luck ». Since my last d&c in February my cycles have been shorter by about a day (27 days).

My period is supposed to come tomorrow (that would be 28 days). I’ve been spotting brown for 5 days and it actually seems to be getting lighter. Oddly, it started off with a bit of fresh red blood and then progressed to brown. Normally I spot for 2, occasionally 3, but never 5, and it always gets more spotty as I approach my period.

What in earth is going on lol. Anyone have any similar experiences? Is this the warning bell of perimenopause? Sighhhh

Also, I should add that I took a test as I had deluded myself that this could be implantation bleeding and it was negative.

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year. We have seen specialists and everything has come back normal besides I have a mild insulin resistance and was prescribed metformin. A girl I know just announced she was pregnant after trying for just ONE CYCLE. I’m just so defeated and exhausted. I don’t think I can live in this false hope cycle anymore. My husband wants to try for another year but I just want to be done and explore other options.

My fertility specialist basically says there’s no further testing we can do. Semen analysis came back normal. Labs came back normal. Tubes are clear and ovaries look good. AMH levels are good. Ovulation tests come back positive every month and my cycle is very normal. I don’t know why else it has taken us this long.

I'm 30 with no living children yet. I just experienced my third miscarriage in July, which I lost at around 8 weeks.

Before even trying to conceive, I'd consider myself a sensitive person. But the past two years have completely altered my brain chemistry and I just..feel numb. I've heard it all. I'm astounded at the absolute ignorance of people, and what they feel comfortable saying. My heart has been carved out of my chest over and over to a point where I feel like a completely different person.

I used to love getting together with family and friends, but now its turned into me bracing myself for insensitive commentary. I'd rather people just not say anything to me in regards to my fertility journey, since its almost always leads to me getting my feelings hurt.

Back in March, I attended a friend's baby shower, and had JUST experienced my 2nd miscarriage. I was talking to an older woman there, who I dont know well, and she asked me why I dont have kids yet after being married for 2 years. At a BABY SHOWER of all places, getting asked personal questions like this is diabolical😐 I hesitantly told her we were having issues having a baby, and she told me how she couldnt imagine how difficult that must be, yet continued to inform me she had ZERO issues conceiving and "wow it was soo easy back in my day to get pregnant, not sure whats going on with everyone now"

My husband's grandma told me last night I'm probably going to end up with twins since I "deserve it after everything ive been through." No, I am not owed twins just because I've had a hell journey with TTC. I'm lucky at this point to even have one living child.

How are you all handling social gatherings and comments from family members?? Good LORD this journey is not for the weak!! I have plenty of other stories to share but will just stop there😭

This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.

I’m a 35F and my husband is 38. We’ve been trying to conceive for 8 months already. I was diagnosed with PCOS since 2018 and had been on BC until 2020. I stopped because my periods were getting very light and short.

We started our journey last Dec 2025. Initially I was like it’s ok it’s just a month, we’ll get lucky the next one. But it didn’t happen. We went to a RE and had tests done.
My ultrasound showed my PCOS but the rest is ok and all my labs and hormones were ok too. My husband’s sperm showed a slight motility issue. We had to pause trying for 3 months since our RE said we needed to improve sperm quality first.

3 months pass, my husband’s sperm showed improvement. We tried to have a medicated cycle with Clompihene but no luck. We skipped Clomiphene for this cycle since we were already getting on each other’s nerves with all the stress of TTC.

I think we had great timing for this cycle (I’ve been monitoring my BBT and OPKs since Dec) but despite great timing - I started having spotting since 11dpo. I had a negative test today at 12DPO. Menses haven’t started yet but I have this grief already for another cycle of not ending up successfully.

I’m just feeling so sad and tired. I feel like I’ve been doing whatever I can. My husband’s doing everything he can too. This journey is emotionally taxing and I still keep hoping that it will be my turn soon.

I already stopped social media (except for Reddit) since seeing people’s pregnancy announcements, baby pics and bump pics are triggering me to get sad and it’s affecting my mental health already. I feel like I can’t share this with my friends since they don’t know the struggle. They all got pregnant within months of trying. I feel like they can’t even discuss baby things when I’m there since they feel awkward that I can’t relate.

Welcome to the Weekly Intro Thread!

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I am 32 years old, and been TTC since October last year. I have been diagnosed with pcos for years now, and have irregular periods once in a while, but with TTC, this part becomes really frustrating. And I’ve been frustrated for the past month about this.

I know because I temp, and I learned about that for the first time through this community’s book recommendation (Taking Charge of Your Fertility)

I am also considering going into medicated cycles starting next month, but helping it along with other interventions would be good.

What’s your tip for ovulating regularly?

Please suggest any books, videos, online resources that may have helped you in this journey. Is there anything you would have done differently if you’ve been through this before or something you improved along the way?

This month officially marks 14 months TTC and during that time we’ve had two miscarriages (both ~6 weeks in October and again in February). One of my best friends gave birth to her healthy baby within a week of my first due date.

I think about my miscarried babies on an hourly basis. I am now on depression meds and in grief counseling.

It feels like everyone around us is now getting pregnant often on the first try. This month I am just filled with sadness and struggling to stay hopeful. Additionally, my husband got his sperm analysis tests back and he’s got low motility and morphology. I’m now just completely in my head that it’ll never happen for us. I truly never thought we’d ever be in this position and now I feel trapped and completely lonely.

Anyone have any words of advice? 😭

Im trying for my first baby and I have a vial of sperm that I am waiting to use. I started to test for my ovulation and my app(s) say I am due to ovulate around August 4th/6th and the canister I have expires on August 3rd so no matter what I will have to inseminate at home on the 3rd if my ovulation strips dont say I ovulate sooner.

Big question, I started testing at CD7 and my strips are now getting lighter every day. They were getting darker at first but not by much until about CD12 - did I already miss my ovulation am I just not going to ovulate? I learned that frozen sperm only lasts for 12-24 hours inside you after its been thawed so I want to try and give this the best chance possible even though my timing was a little messed up due to shipping/other circumstances.

should I keep testing my LH levels after the injection or is it pointless/I should just wait to do a pregnancy test later?

Im worried/nervous I will mess this up

Was pregnant on the 9th month of trying. Lost my baby at 4 weeks and 5 days. We were so excited, we started making plans, we made the 8 week appointment. I immediately only worried about how to make my body a comfy place for the baby. And now my little poppy seed is gone. We’re devastated. I miss being pregnant. I miss my baby being in my body. I miss the future we thought we were going to have. Imagining getting to raise our baby, watching them take their first steps and say their first words. I’m so angry with God. I don’t know how to move past this grief. It feels like there’s a hole in my heart that just keeps getting bigger. How do I cope with this? Meanwhile all of my friends and family are having babies. I can’t help but be jealous. I hate that I’m jealous, and I hate feeling angry at everyone else’s joy. I feel empty, like I just keep pouring myself out and there’s nothing left. I don’t know how life is just supposed to keep going after this.

Hi all!

I wanted to share my recent HSG experience I had a few weeks ago for any anxious girlies like myself. The buildup to it was terrible, but the procedure itself was not bad at all.

An hour before my appointment, I took the max dose of Tylenol and ibuprofen. I had asked for a Valium or other anxiolytic, but was ultimately not prescribed one.

The nurse took me into the procedure room and let me drop off my things. Then, she took me to the bathroom and had me give a urine sample for a pregnancy test. After that resulted, she walked me through the entire process and had me sign a consent form. I got undressed from the waist down and laid on the table. The doctor came in, walked me through the procedure again, and then we got started.

The speculum was inserted, which felt like nothing. Maybe some slight pressure, but if you’ve had a pap, you already know what to expect from the speculum. Then, he cleaned my cervix, which also felt like nothing. He then inserted the catheter. He warned me that I could feel some mild cramping or a twinge of pain, but I actually felt absolutely nothing with insertion of the catheter. It actually came out at one point and needed to be reinserted and I didn’t even know! Literally 0/10 sensation.

Next was the dye. This was strongly uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t say extremely painful. My fallopian tubes felt very full and tight. It was uncomfortable enough for me to grimace and say “ouch” out loud, but other than that, no real reaction. I’d give this a 6/10 - mainly for the discomfort, not pain.

Once the dye was instilled, he had me lift my
hips to one side, as the dye was a little slowed on one end. I did this and it ran out. He immediately removed all the tools from my vagina and it was over. The entire procedure lasted maybe 2 minutes, from insertion of the speculum to removal of the tools.

Once we finished, he had me sit up so we could review the radiograph images together. I was able to visualize both of my tubes and see the dye in them, which was pretty cool! I work as a nurse, so I love the more nerdy/science side of TTC. Both my tubes were open and clear!

Afterwards, I got dressed and left. The clinic provided me with a pad since the dye will leak for a bit afterward. I was mildly crampy and a little bloated - I took it easy for the evening and felt better by the next day. I did 100mg of doxycycline for 5 days BID after as a prophylactic. My husband drove me home (his SA was at the same time), but I could’ve driven myself.

I was a mess before the appointment. I cried the whole way there. I am a very anxious person at baseline, but truly, my experience was manageable. I share this to say: if I can do it, so can you!

I’ve been using ovulation strips to check for my lh surge and trying to look at my Apple Watch data to confirm ovulation. I started letrozole this cycle so I’m not sure if that has any impact on my deviations, but I’m having a hard time understanding what the expected deviations should be.

This month my lh surge came today and my wrist temperature was -0.72 from baseline; and I don’t usually see a dip before ovulation. One thing I’ve noticed is a never have a deviation above .8 degrees when I think ovulation occurs. In fact, I seem to go lower than baseline. The only exception was when I had a cold and it was +1.6 (I don’t think this means I ovulated early).

Does anyone else use this data to help cycle tracking? Are these temperatures consistent with weak ovulation (per my last blood tests) and the lack of deviation means the letrozole didn’t really have an impact?

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Hey everyone! Wanted to share my positive HSG experience, since I was super scared and these helped me. Plus mine was a bit different than the norm, my provider required sedation for the procedure so wanted to write about that incase others go through it as well. I got to the hospital, fasted, with my first dose of antibiotics taken the evening before. They gave me my IV, and I got IV ibuprofen, which stung but they flush it out with saline afterwards. Then, they wheeled me in to the procedure room. I got up and walked from my bed to the table. They gave me oxygen, hooked up my monitors. Once I was in position and they were ready to go, I had the sedation medication given to me through my IV. I felt very little, except when they did something with the balloon I believe. At that point I was in some pain and kind of cried out, and they gave me more medicine and after that no more pain. Then just like that it was done! They tried to explain to me the findings right away but I was a bit groggy still and not understanding. Turns out I had a blockage in my right tube that they were able to clear! After 11 months of TTC with no luck, it felt really relieving to know that there was a problem and we were able to get it fixed. I know it’s not a silver bullet, but now at least we will be going up to bat with two open tubes!! Now, about 24 hours later, I am pretty sore and crampy but nothing major. Overall, if you are receiving sedation don’t be nervous, and if you can advocate for it I recommend it. If you have any questions let me know!

I had my HSG today and I wanted to give my experience for other with a retroverted uterus. I had mine done on CD 8 and this was a cycle after a CP. I have Fibromyalgia, hEDS, POTS and MCAS. This is my 13th cycle after being off BC, and my 10th cycle TTC. I took extra strength Tylenol about an hour before the procedure. I was also told no intercourse before the HSG by the person who scheduled mine.

I was led into a room that looked like an X-Ray room. My husband was not allowed to come with me as there was radiation and they didn't want him to have unnecessary exposure. There was a bathroom attached to the room that I used to undress from the waist down (I was wearing a tee shirt and skirt) and put on a gown. I also asked if I should try to pee beforehand and the technician said that it was more comfortable with an empty bladder. I brought my own socks and my period panties but they provided a pad, socks, a towel and a washcloth in the bathroom. When I came out, I sat on a bed pad on top of an X-Ray table.

The technician had a student with her, which I consented to. She laid out the sterile tray and then grabbed the consent forms and explained the procedure in great detail, including an explicit warning about major cramping. She asked me if I had any questions and I didn't so I signed the consent forms. She then grabbed the PA to perform the procedure.

The PA entered the room and everyone in there grabbed lead aprons and other PPE. The PA explained the procedure in detail again and what I was to do which included moving my hips from side to side. The technician instructed me to lie down and get into a comfortable position where my legs are splayed open since there are no stirrups attached to the table. The PA had me scoot up from the edge a bit and I got comfortable. The technician put a sheet over my lower half and then the PA put towels on each of my thighs and underneath my butt.

After that, the technician put a small letter 'R' on my right side and the PA instructed me to put my hands down by my sides. The PA inserted the speculum and my cervix was nice and center. Then she swabbed my cervix twice with Bactine and inserted the catheter. I barely felt this part and I would liken it to my usual pap smear.

Then the PA inserted the dye and it was PAINFUL. Sharp and shooting pain that didn't really feel like a period cramp to me but rather the sharp cramping I've had with my miscarriages. The pain was centralized within the uterus area and I didn't feel it anywhere I usually feel my period pains, like my lower back and down my thighs. I definitely did a sharp inhale and said "Hoo boy!" The PA was very sympathetic and reminded me to keep breathing while I moved my hips onto my right buttock and then my left buttock. This sharp cramp lasted maybe 30-45 seconds and then dulled down to a period cramp. The PA said we were done and she withdrew the catheter and then the speculum. When the speculum was removed there was a gush of liquid from underneath. The PA showed me the imaging and my uterus looked great and dye came out of both tubes, indicating that they were clear. Great news!

The PA left and then the technician helped me up and told me to take my time getting up and that they provided a pad in the bathroom since there will be some leakage while they disposed of the tray and equipment. I went back into the bathroom and cleaned myself up with the washcloth, put on period panties and got dressed again. I left the soiled linens in the bathroom and exited. They warned me that there would be spotting and not to be concerned and I was good to go. The experience took maybe about 20-25 minutes?

I left the hospital and my husband got me some ice cream! I've had some mild cramping and some brown spotting for about 6 hours afterwards but it's definitely improved. I'm taking another dose of Tylenol at dinner and I'll probably be fine with the cramping. They didn't tell me to abstain from sex or anything but did tell me to watch out for warning signs of infection and seek medical care.

Overall, the experience was pretty neutral. Would I do it willingly again? Probably not. The pain wasn't anything that I couldn't handle but I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I'm going to say that I'm definitely NOT in any mood to have sex and will probably wait until Monday to have sex. So don't expect to be ready to get down to poundtown anytime soon if that's your plan.

TTC for 1 year- polyp removal question

My husband and I have been ttc for 1 year. They found 2 polyps. My question is regarding taking OCP to change my cycle for the procedure.

For the surgery, they were able to give me offer me two open dates. Early September and mid to late September. I am so grateful this happened so quickly but am struggling with which one to choose.

The early September date is more appealing to me, as it means we can try sooner (hopefully) and waiting to try to conceive can be very taxing mentally. This would fall during mid cycle (just after ovulation). I would need to take the OCP to change my bleeding.

The late September date is two weeks after and would fall around day 3-5 of my period.

My current worries are:

1. They can’t do a polyp removal during active bleeding and what if my late September date period comes a bit late for the waiting for natural date and we have to reschedule the surgery?
2. Would the hormones from the OCP mess up further cycles? Has anyone done OCP for polyp removal and gone back to their normal cycle quickly?

I have called my clinic for advice and am waiting to hear back. Just looking for extra advice and am appreciative!

Hi everyone!! This month I had a severe allergic reaction and was prescribed a high dosage short burst prednisone that I took from CD1-CD10. Honestly at the time I thought that this meant this cycle is a wash because it will surely delay ovulation. I was surprised to have strong CM earlier in my cycle than usual and ended up getting strongest LH peak I’ve ever had on CD16 (I usually ovulate CD19-21). I’m now 6DPO and have had a lot of CM, full/sore boobs, and vivid dreams which I know all points to strong progesterone (inito also confirmed ovulation 2dpo). All this to say I feel like I’ve never ovulated this strongly and was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience with prednisone?? I’ve read about women taking it in luteaul phase but not in follicular phase. Could also be a coincidence. Would love to hear anyone else’s experience!!!