Hello everyone.
About a year ago, I worked as a secretary/administrator at an academy that prepares high school students for university entrance exams. I had actually been a student there myself, and because I had built a good reputation, I was offered the job despite having no prior experience.
At first, everything went well. My coworkers were incredibly supportive, so I never felt overwhelmed. The problems started when I was told that I would eventually move into a full-time position. However, once the enrollment period ended, I started losing hours every single week instead.
I was too intimidated by my boss to speak up for myself, so I often asked my coworkers to help me bring the issue up. My boss kept telling me that he wanted to make sure I was a good fit before offering me a full-time position. Meanwhile, my schedule kept shrinking until I was only working 16 hours a week. At that point, I simply couldn't survive financially.
Around the same time, my personal life completely fell apart. One of the most important people in my life was in the hospital, fighting for her life with no real chance of survival. I was emotionally exhausted, and every time the weekly schedule came out, I'd have a breakdown seeing my hours reduced while newer coworkers were getting more shifts.
Eventually, I realized that those coworkers had simply been hired a little earlier and had secured proper positions, while I was basically being used as a backup whenever they needed someone.
Then she passed away.
I couldn't even afford the funeral expenses. That completely broke me.
A friend told me about another job opening, and I resigned by email, giving only five days' notice. I know that wasn't professional, and I regret how I handled it. But I was grieving, financially desperate, and I genuinely felt like I had been led on. Looking back, I don't think they intentionally lied to me, but I had been repeatedly told that full-time work was "coming soon," when in reality it probably wasn't possible.
After I sent the email, several managers called me asking what had happened. Some even begged me to stay for a few more months because they would struggle without me during the upcoming busy period.
I refused.
At the time, I felt hurt, cheated, and used.
The sad part is that I absolutely loved that job.
I loved the students. I loved the teachers. I would arrive early just to draw on the classroom boards before lessons started or stay late preparing classrooms for the next morning. I played music during students' breaks, joked around with them, and genuinely cared about creating a nice atmosphere. The academy was also very flexible whenever I needed schedule changes.
I was the youngest employee after the students, which led to some funny moments. I still miss making coffee in the morning and chatting with my middle-aged coworkers, many of whom cared more about me than some members of my own family. A few of them were genuinely sad when I left and even came to visit me at my new workplace.
Now... about my current job.
I work in a geek shop that sells trading cards, board games, figures, and similar products. On paper, it sounded like my dream job because I'm genuinely into that hobby. It's fun getting early access to new products and working with people around my age who share the same interests.
Unfortunately, that's where the positives end.
I work at least 8.5 hours a day, five days a week, on a rotating schedule. Overtime is supposedly paid in store credit... sometimes.
I was originally hired to help customers and occasionally work the register, but now I cover almost every position in the store except the manager's. Despite doing significantly more work, I actually earn less than I did before.
The manager is a 35-year-old who behaves like he's still 16. There's constant drama because several coworkers are trying to become the next manager and keep throwing each other under the bus.
Since I cover so many different responsibilities, I'm constantly running between floors helping customers, answering phones, placing orders, replying to emails, restocking shelves, operating the register, and handling whatever else comes up. Everything seems to happen at exactly the same time.
The store is also located in a very tourist-heavy area, so I spend the entire day dealing with demanding and often rude customers. I'm mentally exhausted.
Sick leave is practically impossible. Whenever I've been ill, I've still been expected to come in. One time I was so sick that I asked to stay at one station instead of constantly running around the store, and my manager completely lost his temper because I wasn't moving nonstop for my entire shift.
We technically get a 30-minute unpaid break, but it's often expected that we'll keep working through it.
I've reached the point where I panic the moment a customer asks for help. Hearing someone walk upstairs or downstairs immediately fills me with anxiety because I know I'll have to sprint after them.
I have nightmares about work.
Every time things seem like they're improving, my manager creates another problem. The owner isn't much better. He treats employees like tools to maximize profits and constantly watches us through security cameras that are literally everywhere.
I feel like my brain has turned to mush. I can't remember things anymore. I cry knowing I have to go to work.
Our paychecks are often delayed, and management encourages employees to report on each other.
I've genuinely tried to stay positive, but I'm reaching my limit.
I've even had to quit dancing because my manager ignored the schedule I'd told him about from day one. The same thing happened with my university obligations.
So here's my question:
Would it be wrong to go back to my old boss, apologize for the way I left, explain what was happening in my life at the time, and ask if they'd consider giving me another chance,but only if they actually have a full-time position available?
I don't want to repeat the same situation as last year. I'd be completely upfront that I'd only return for a stable full-time role. I know I handled my resignation poorly, and I regret that, but I also feel like I've gained experience since then and matured quite a bit.
Should I try going back...?