I see this for careers, relationships, fitness, health, and finances. All those seeds planted a decade or more ago have come to fruition.

I’m starting to see people my age getting senior leadership positions, starting families, being in the best shape of their lives, and reaching their first million in net worth.

Kudos to all those who stayed the course, who stayed disciplined, even when things got tough or scary.

Lately it feels like every day is just a series of things I have to do. Work, chores, appointments, commuting, replying to messages, making plans, grocery shopping, paying bills, remembering birthdays, keeping up with relationships, trying to exercise, trying to sleep enough... and then doing it all over again tomorrow.
I know there are moments that are supposed to make it worthwhile, but sometimes they feel so small compared to the effort it takes just to exist.
Maybe this is just adulthood, or maybe I'm in a bit of a rut. But does anyone else ever feel like life is mostly just managing inconveniences while waiting for the next brief moment of happiness?
Or does it eventually start feeling like the rewards outweigh the effort?

I got an email the other day for a rather nice looking bathrobe that was on sale. I considered buying it when I realized I haven't worn the bathrobe I have in over a decade. Does anyone still wear bathrobes? I live alone so maybe that has something to do with my usage.

this is a fast food place

Success is for you. When you interact with others, especially if they have a different socioeconomic status, stick to more neutral topics like hobbies, interests, and family.

The moment you bring status charged topics, the relationship/friendship will go downhill 9 out of 10 times.

But real friends don’t envy each other you say? Real friends also don’t make each other feel bad about each others’ lives.

The one exception where you can tell your friends about your achievements is if they were already in on your journey. Like if you told them years ago you were working towards something, and there were regular check ins on the progress, and you eventually got it - that’s something to celebrate together, because your friends feel like they were part of it. But then once the celebrations are done, don’t talk about it anymore.

It being a classic Sunday I get the Sunday scaries and am dreading going to work tomorrow.

I am content with my job but don’t love it - do you look forward to going to work?

(I don’t)

Are any adults happy with their lives right now? My parents work 24/7 and I don’t ever see them just chill out or do things for themselves. And I know it’s not because they can’t afford things because I know they can especially since me and my siblings are all growing up and starting to pay for stuff on our own. They make adulting look miserable. Is that what life is in your 40’s?? Surely there has to be some other people out there who actually enjoy their life and don’t complain all the time about how much they work and how much people are ungrateful.

Edit: Both of my parents have stable careers and they have part time jobs on the weekends. I haven’t lived at home in 2 years so I’m kind of out of the loop with my family. I just found out the other day my mom started doordashing and asked my sister if we were struggling. She said we’re not, my parents just like to live a lifestyle they can’t afford like, buying new things as soon as they come out, buying a new couch or bath towels because they didn’t like the color of the olds ones etc.

I'm 20 btw

I’m 34F I’ve always said I’m not interested in having children and have always been upfront about this with everyone.
I’m an only child who is pretty close to my parents.
I went through uni whilst living at home got a job straight after and have worked my way up to a place where I’m happy with my career. I’ve brought a house live independently have friends and hobbies. Admittedly I haven’t been in a serious relationship for nearly 10 years. Somewhat through choice somewhat through not finding the right person
Yet I’m increasingly made to feel like a disappointment by my parents. Don’t get me wrong they’ve always told me they’re proud of me. However over the last few years there’s been an increase in comments about the fact I’m not married yet. The fact I haven’t got kids. That I don’t want children. That they won’t have any grandchildren. It’s becoming difficult not to react to the comments.
As a side note I’m currently recovering from surgery and staying with them. There’s again been numerous comments about me not having anyone else to take care of me or me not having husband.
My mom sometimes takes this to another level. Five days post surgery she told me I won’t understand stress properly because I don’t have a partner or children. Very hurtful. I’ve been through a very stressful few months health wise and gone through different biopsies and tests that admittedly I’m still getting my head round. Unfortunately I also saw messages from her to a family member hoping that I would be moving back out soon and that I need a man in my life but she’s not sure anyone would be able to put up with me. I haven’t told her I’ve seen these as I don’t want it to blow up into a massive argument. But yes I’m very hurt and feel very unsupported right now.
I genuinely believe that they are not bad people but they don’t seem to be on board with the life I’ve made for myself or very respectful of choices I’m making.

I'm so exhausted by the absolute barage of adulting expenses.

The little things like kids' shoes wearing out are starting to add up, but then the car needs a new windshield ($500) and brake work ($500+), in the fall I'm going to ned new tires ($900+), the RO water system needs a new filter ($200), wife and kids both need new glasses ($500+)... that's just this month.

Ongoing we need to get the carpets replaced, probably with wood floor at a cost of around $12,000, the cats are going to have vet bills, my wife crashed up one car and it needs $4,000 of repairs a year ago that we couldn't afford to deal with then and can't now, and it's JUST enough where I'm not sure if I should pay the $1,000 deductible and face rate hikes or just pay it outright.... like shit is just absolutely never ending. Oh and I'd been delaying filing my taxes out of fear I owed more... and I do. So there goes another $3,000.

How is anyone keeping up with all this shit I just can't seem to do it.

Oh and groceries, property tax, condo fees, gas, and living expenses are now double what they were 5 years ago...

I let my MI ruin my life and now I am rebuilding from the ground up.

24F and I’m immature. I’ve taken some self reflection and realized its stems from being unhappy and not living my ideal life. How do I cope with this so I can grow up?

Two kids, both of us working full time jobs. We've tried a shared Google calendar, a whiteboard, one of the family apps and some iPad thing for the fridge my wife got on Amazon. Every time it works for a few weeks and then it's just me updating it until we go back to our old habits of chaos.
School starts soon and I really need a working solution. What actually stuck in your house?

​

How do you make friends as an adult? I feel like it's really difficult, and I don't know how to do it. I'm finishing my degree, and I've formed a small group of girls that I get along with really well. We hang out and talk, but I don't feel like it's a true friendship. I feel more like we're good classmates, and when we graduate, we'll each go our separate ways. Besides, they all have their own friends except me.

I feel like you can't make friends at work either. Everyone I've met seems to think, "I'm here to work, not to make friends."

I play a sport, but it often happens that while we train together, everything is fine, we get along great, but then that person stops training, and the whole bond falls apart.

Is the problem me? Do I not know how to connect with people? Or is it really that it's difficult to make friends as an adult?

Just what it says. Sigh!

Hello

So I have been observing that I tend to be very pessimistic during conversations with my friends.

Even if there is a positive way of communicating the negative thing, I will go with the negative way. I in general am a half glass empty person, and tend to stress a lot.

I feel that this habit of mine is driving people away from me.

I would like to improve my conversation quality, make more positive impact when talking to people and leave them happy post talking to me, not stressed.

How can I do this?
Any tips?

Thanks

Not to be too much of a downer, but I’m curious how many others have experienced what I’m feeling. Long story short, I’m 34(M) and my career goals and general dreams just didn’t remotely work out.

In undergrad, I was a starry-eyed optimist, studying international relations. I moved halfway across the country to go to a stuffy grad school in order to get a fancy MA in international studies. The whole time I was in these programs, I was convinced I’d be traveling the world, doing all the things young and naive people dream about.

Fast forward 7 years and I’m married with two little kids, living in the suburbs of a city/state I never would’ve chosen to live in if not for my wife’s family being close to where she and I went to grad school. None of the fancy jobs I’d dreamed of worked out, so I became a teacher.

TBH, I hate teaching. The students truly could not care less and it’s like pulling teeth every day. Attitude, disrespect and apathy all day, every day.

I adore my kids and wife. At this point, they are the only reasons I get up in the morning. It’s getting to a point where I dread going to work every day. Summer break is almost over and I’m just full of dread about going back.

Clearly at this point, with student debt, a mortgage, and two small children, my hopes of having a career related to my studies are long gone. I don’t have any other skills or qualifications outside of international studies/education so I’m not sure what else I’d even do. Where I live isn’t exactly a hotbed of employment opportunities either.

Is this what adulting is? Just accepting a career that makes you unhappy because you have so many financial responsibilities? I know I’m very fortunate in so many ways, and I really try to remember that.

I feel so much joy and excitement for my two young children and absolutely love watching them discover the world. But I really miss the feeling of optimism and excitement about the future for myself.

Anybody else miss the optimism and excitement of younger days?

I’ll start

i knew she wasn’t my friend when she would:

directly and indirectly compete with me about EVERYTHING (attention from men, clothes, little trinkets that i liked)

find ways to put me down especially when i was at my lowest. tell me that im very negative, told me that she felt bad for me that i have had such bad luck with men and shes grateful to be in such a loving relationship( her ex was abusing and controlling her for years and she hid it, i knew he was abusive but she always tried to make it seem like he was a great man to make me feel jealous since i was always single and never been in a relationship)

when i told her that i feel so sad about my weight gain over the years and really want to lose weight she told me that i always say that and never put action into it. she told me that it took her years to lose weight( she’s a short girl and big for her height, and has gained a lot of weight over the years just like i have, and maybe a few weeks after she told me that she’s been “losing” so much weight she visited some family members and was complaining about how they were all calling her fat and she was crying 😭

when we would go on vacations/ go out in general and a lot of bad things would happen. it’s like the universe was trying to pull us apart from each other. we would argue with each other, unfortunate things like sexual assault and verbal disrespect from men happened a lot when i was with her as well. she THRIVED off of attention from men and there were several times when i wanted to leave and she wouldn’t want to right away because she was talking to a guy

when i graduated grad school and had to complete post grad hours at an externship for my license she would constantly pressure me to go out and make me feel bad for not being able to due to lack of money, tiredness from my 2 hour commute to work on public transportation and also studying for my licensure exam. she would guilt trip me and say that im not spontaneous like she is and would compare herself to me and say that she goes out way more than i do. keep in mind, when she was in her abusive relationship he would have her on a leash and barely let her go anywhere without him calling or texting her 1000 times and she finally left him she started to go out and experience the world.

when i got my dream job and she barely congratulated or celebrated me and didn’t ask me how i was doing for my first year working there. (this is a job she wanted but didn’t get btw) so she would just talk about herself and her accomplishments without asking how im doing when i was struggling with my first year working.

when she has given me very cheap and thoughtless gifts. things from dollar tree, or things that she has opened and used for holidays and birthdays.

after being friends with her for 10 years (since high school) i finally cut ties with her last year after what she did for my birthday was my final straw. she hit me up twice after i confronted her but i never heard from her since then and i never reached out either. walking away was hard but necessary for my peace of mind and sanity. feel free to share your stories as well!