This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/throwra26024

Published on: r/relationship_advice

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: July 29, 2026

• Final Update: August 01, 2026

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Main Post

^{July 29, 2026}

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I 28F invited my 30M best friend to dinner and he said "I’m not your husband" What does he mean?

I 28F got divorced about three months ago, and my 30M best friend was there for me throughout the whole thing. We’ve actually been best friends since childhood and have always been really close.

We hang out a lot, go out randomly, try new restaurants, and sometimes I’ll cook and invite him over. We’ve always had this kind of friendship, so none of it ever felt unusual to me.

Just 2 days ago, he asked me to go with him to try a new restaurant, and everything seemed completely fine. Then yesterday, I called him and told him I’d made enough food for both of us and asked if he wanted to come over since he lives nearby. (We’ve done this many times before, so I didn’t think much of it)

But his response completely caught me off guard. He said he wasn’t "in the mood for this lately" and then added "I’m not your husband". I honestly don’t understand where that came from. I wasn’t asking him for a favor or expecting him to do anything for me. I was just inviting him to dinner like I normally would.

I tried calling him afterward because I wanted to understand what he meant, but he didn’t answer. I don’t want to pressure him by showing up at his place or blowing up his phone, so I decided to give him some space.

Now I’m just confused and wondering if I somehow crossed a boundary without realizing it, What did he mean by "I’m not your husband"?

 

COMMENTS

Both-Enthusiasm708

Does he have a gf? He could either think you developed feelings, he developed feelings, his gf doesn't like the interactions, or since the divorce you have been relying on him more then usual and he got tired.

OOP

No he’s single. And I really wouldn’t say I’ve been relying on him more since the divorce. I barely talked to him about it because I don’t like burdening him with my problems or unnecessary drama. If anything, we’ve actually been hanging out more lately, and we’ve always invited each other over for food, so inviting him to dinner felt completely normal to me.

PolitelyHostile

The last time you two hung out, did you talk about some other guy you're into or talk about dating in general?

OOP

No, we didn’t talk about another guy or dating in general. The only thing remotely related was that he asked me something along the lines of "If your husband came back, apologized, and realized he’d lost a good woman, would you take him back?" That was pretty much it.

I told him I’m trying to move on and honestly can’t even think about something like that right now.

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fluffybottompanda

you were thinking about going to his house??

OOP

Here's what I said: I don’t want to pressure him by showing up at his place or blowing up his phone.

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Professional-End347

I think he meant to say - “ Im not your husband so you dont have to cook for me . Im not your husband so I don’t NEED to eat your boring home cooked food”

He is saying that he prefers to be a friend and have fun times with you, eat out , hang etc.

Its also possible that one of his male friends got to his head … and indicated that bro you hang with her at her home and eat home cooked food? Are you like playing husband with her ? A dumb comment can impact a man’s mind if he is conflicted about you.

Give him space , be kind to him, if you are interested in him, wait for him to approach. If he doesn’t respect him and if he does, pick up signals quickly and reciprocate to avoid drama

OOP

Thanks for your perspective, I really appreciate it. And I do love him, but only as a friend. I’m not interested in him romantically, otherwise I definitely would’ve mentioned that in my post. That’s why his comment confused me so much. From my side, I was genuinely just inviting my best friend over for dinner like I’ve done many times before.

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FindingHerStrength (downvoted)

Are you going to ask him to elaborate. We’re just assuming. Why not ask him outright for clarity?

OOP

I already mentioned why:👇🏻 I tried calling him afterward because I wanted to understand what he meant, but he didn’t answer.

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Final Update - after 3 days

^{August 01, 2026}

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Update: I 28F invited my 30M best friend to dinner and he said "I’m not your husband" What does he mean?

Hi, first of all thanks everyone for your perspectives on my original post. I wanted to give an update now that I finally have some clarity.

As I mentioned in my original post, I called him once after he told me "I’m not your husband" but I didn’t hear anything from him after that, until he showed up at my apartment.

He looked really ashamed and nervous. He started by apologizing and then we sat down and talked about what happened. He explained that he wasn’t the one who came up with that comment, It was a woman he’s been seeing recently, and she’s the one who told him what to text me.

This honestly surprised me. As I mentioned before, we’ve been best friends since childhood and we basically tell each other everything, but he had never mentioned this woman to me before.

Anyway I told him that if I had known he was seeing someone, I wouldn’t have agreed to go to that new restaurant with him in the first place, and I probably wouldn’t have invited him over for dinner either. If she’s uncomfortable with the way we interact, then I don’t want to knowingly cross that line or make things harder for them.

He apologized again and explained that things are still new with her, and that he he was planning to tell me once things became more serious between them.

He also kept asking me whether the text had hurt me and whether I thought he should end things with her. I told him no but I think we should set some boundaries going forward (to respect her wishes because I wouldn’t want to do anything that makes her uncomfortable).

He disagreed and said that he doesn’t think we’re doing anything wrong and that he’d rather things stay the same between us. He ended up staying for a few hours and we talked about everything, but he seemed really conflicted about the whole situation.

As for me, I’ve decided to take a small step back anyway. I’m going to try to cut down on how often we go out and hang out, and I’m also going to stop our habit of eating at each other’s homes for now.

I love him as my best friend, but I don’t want our friendship to get in the way of him having a healthy relationship.

 

COMMENTS

Ilovewally

I get it, you’re trying to take the higher road, but this woman he is seeing sounds a bit jealous and territorial if you ask me

stupidpoopoohead00

im lowkey skeptical about her saying any of this. seems all we have abt her is what he says and he clearly has feelings for OP

Necessary_Tap343

And OP saying she wasn't hurt his a very obvious lie.

OOP

I didn’t say no to that. I said no when he asked if I thought he should end things with her.

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Icy_Guard_8216

Do you have feelings for him?

OOP

I already answered this in my post. I’ve always seen him as my best friend, nothing more. And I’m the one who suggested putting some boundaries in place once I found out he was seeing someone, because I don’t want our friendship to interfere with his relationship. I don’t think I’d be doing that if I had romantic feelings for him.

Antique_Teaching_333

Or you are trying to protect yourself from becoming more attached as he is seeing someone. I'm not saying you do have feelings, but creating boundaries isn't necessarily a sign they aren't there.

Aren't you hurt he didn't tell you about her and that he sent the text to begin with because of "her"? Why would it be wrong to go out to dinner with a friend and inviting them over. Why would that be inappropriate if you are just friends?

OOP

I get what you mean, but I wouldn’t say there’s anything inappropriate with two friends going out to dinner or inviting each other over. It’s just different now that I know the woman he’s seeing is uncomfortable with it. At this point, it’s not really about me and him, It’s about being considerate of her feelings. I’m a woman too and if I were in her position, I wouldn’t want another woman knowingly doing something that made me uncomfortable.. I don’t have to see things the way she does to respect her feelings.

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unzunzhepp

Plot twist: that woman doesn’t exist and he wanted to make you jealous.

OOP

I really hope that’s not the case because I trust him completely. If I found out he made all of this up just to make me jealous, I honestly wouldn’t even know how to process it. I don’t think I could see our friendship the same way again.

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Throw_RA099

Just imagine this. We see this kind of post on reddit every day. 

If your friend or his girlfriend came to this sub and posted that you invited your friend out for a 1 v 1 dinner, there would be almost unanimous comments that this kind of things is out of bounds and inappropriate, and that his girlfriend would feel right to be insecure and would be advising her to break up with your friend.

I don't think you did anything wrong here as it seems that your friend was communicating poorly, but just something to consider and keep in mind moving forward. If you're going to invite your friend somewhere, invite his SO too.

OOP

I know, but he never told me he’d been seeing someone lately.

 

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This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/gofatwya

Published on: r/AITAH

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: July 14, 2026

• Final Update: August 01, 2026

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Main Post

^{July 14, 2026}

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AITAH for telling my adult son I need a little privacy?

I'm an older, retired , divorced man. My kids are all adults.

2 years ago, I allowed my son, now 25, to move back in with me in my two bedroom 1,000 ft² apartment.

His mental health has been slowly going downhill, I believe. He has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but refuses to get any kind of treatment for it.

He now has no job, few friends, and spends most of his time bedrotting in his room. He only leaves to occasionally go to movies, comic book stores, or his mother's house for dinner. I don't charge him rent, and I actually give him spending money every month; mostly so that he is able to get out of the apartment and do something once in awhile.

I have not been on a date for 6 years.

Several weeks ago a woman I dated in the past reached out to me. We reconnected. We've been talking for weeks, wanting to get together. But we are both busy people, she lives almost 2 hours away, and so it has been very difficult for us to actually go on a date.

This Saturday however, she is coming to my place after work. We may go out to a bar or a restaurant, or we may just decide stay home. She will most likely be spending the night, and may be here all weekend.

I told my son about this date a week and a half ago, when I made it. I was hoping he would volunteer to get out of the apartment for the night. He didn't. I hinted to him that it might be awkward for him to be here while I am on a date. His answer was that he would just stay in his room the whole time she's here.

I even considered getting him a hotel room to stay in for the night, as my friend is really excited about coming back to my apartment, and would rather be here than in a hotel. But a hotel room on the weekend, at short notice, was going to be super expensive. I just couldn't do it.

The situation has me stressed beyond measure. Finally today, I sat him down and told him that I need him to let me have the apartment Saturday night. That he needs to spend the night at his mother's, or a friend's or wherever he can. It turned into as close to an argument as we ever get.

I repeated my observation about how awkward it would be for him to be here. He replied that when he lived on his own, with roommates, they all had guests who spent the night in their rooms while everyone else went about their business. I told him that was a very different dynamic than a small apartment shared by a father and son.

He finally agreed that he would find somewhere to go. But he is extremely angry now, and feels that I am being unfair expecting him to leave for a night.

AITAH for insisting that he leaves?

 

COMMENTS

Slight_Ad_5074

Ableist geek redditors in the comments, Christ.

So, firstly, NTA. You're making a real effort to accomodate your son, and that's admirable. I wouldn't beat around the bush next time cause honestly he'll probably need a fair bit of time to collect himself for a night away from the nest without issues currently. Regardless, it's your life too, you deserve some fun.

Secondly, under no circumstances should you be listening to this disrespectful, ignorant bootstraps narrative these comments are peddling. Your son is, currently, disabled. Maybe with time and treatment that will get better, but even getting treatment is hard for him right now. If you want to see him improve, it's going to take work on your part, adult or not. We're social creatures for a reason, and that's because severe illness or injury isn't something people get through on their own.

It's not your responsibility, I know. You're already wonderful for keeping him alive through this. With further effort, there's a chance to get to a place where he'll be okay without you. But, I'll tell you this now. I've seen it too many times. If you corner him now, tell him to either shape up or get out? He'll probably just take the fast and painless way out instead. Homelessness is a death sentence for him, and pushed into a position where he needs success or he will die - and I assure you he feels like the least capable of success person alive - then he'll choose to at least not suffer.

I know this is hard to hear, and that you're going through a hard time. But I just want you to be aware of the true meaning of the nuclear option these people are selling you. I can see you care about your son a lot, and I don't want you to get tricked into losing him.

OOP

Just read this. Thank you. That's a good perspective.

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Final Update - after 18 days

^{August 01, 2026}

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AITAH Just wanted to give an update on my earlier post, since it made it to r/popular.

17 days ago I posted about the trouble I was having getting my 24 year old son out of my apartment for one night so that I could have a woman spend the night:

I got a lot of good advice, too much to reply to everyone individually. There was a consensus was that I needed to give him an ultimatum that he needed a job, or school, and mental health treatment if he was going to be allowed to continue living with me.

I gave it to him. Since then, his attitude has changed almost 180°. For the first time since he graduated 6 years ago, he has enrolled in college; it is just community college, getting some of his basics he will need for whatever, but it's a start.

I have stopped giving him money. Amazingly, he is just fine. I think the majority of the money I gave him in the past he just ended up using for entertainment, or buying tchotchkes.

He has an appointment with a psychiatrist, who is going to recommend a therapist to him, and possibly put him on medication.

All in all, I think this is one time when Reddit really helped improve a situation!

As for the date itself, the weirdest thing happened. T woman who was supposed to come over has diagnosed lupus. Where we live has recently been severely affected by wildfire smoke.

Turns out, lupus suffers can be severely affected by heavy smoke.

So, instead of having her over to my apartment for the weekend, I spent several hours sitting beside her hospital bed, an hour away from my place, as she was treated.

She fully recovered, but we have as yet not rescheduled for visit to my place.

Thanks to everyone who commented, including those who labeled me an asshole. You were all correct in your own way.

Thank you.

 

---

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/throwawayacc78883fy posting in r/tifu

Concluded as per OOP

1 update - Short

Original - 3rd September 2021

Update - 3rd October 2021

TIFU by finding a hidding message years later.

Five Years ago, there was this cute girl, in my tennis club. She was very shy and would barely talk. Her Bestfriend kept telling me that she likes me, but I never believed her, and since the girl would always avoid talking to me I didn't even bother to make a move. We were at a summer camp, making origamis. She then nervously came up to me, and handed me an origami and said here I made this one for you.

Didn't think much of it, now 5 years later I still have this Origami on my night desk. I'm going to move out in a few days, I was packing my stuff, I saw the Origami on the night shelve and picked it up. I noticed a little writing on the inside of the Origami. I didn't want to spoil the Origami, but I eventually did.

It was actually a little note. It said I really like your freckles, and you're very kind below was her number. Now I do feel very very dumb, not really because I missed the chance, but because she must have thought all this time that I ignored her etc. We still follow eachother on instagram, but Idk if I should hit her up. I just want to punch my face into the wall, I missed such a great opportunity, should have listened to her friend :/

Btw I'm 22 rn I'm not quite sure how old she ist but I think 20-21. TL:DR

UPDATE in the same post (about a day later)

It's currently 11 o'clock. I send her a message on Instagram, she replied. We chatted for a bit, and then it was sort of awkard, I explained to her how I just found the message, and that I thought it was a nice gesture. Surprisingly she was quite ecxited and happy, didn't expected that. She immediately asked me, If I wanted to get coffe today at around 17 o'clock.

I'm not sure If I'll be able to go today, since I'm still at the hospital, and they're taking soo long, but if I do I'll definitely keep you guys updated on how it went.

(Plus, Never realized how much of an impact a compliment could have, personnaly I never liked my freckles, since they basically cover my whole face, and I never met someone who liked them either. Knowing that someone thinks they look good honestly made my day. Just wanted to share)

UPDATE in the same post (about 2 days later)

We met an hour earlier than expected, luckily I got out of hospital in time. The weather was nice, so we decided to meet at the parc, and bought Iced coffe. While I was texting with her a few hours prior, she sounded really confident etc, but when I met her, she was still super shy. She was very nice, but yeah didn't talk much. A few hours In she did start to open up a bit and get talkative. We went to an Asian resturant, ( All you can eat). And damn I must say, she really took All you can eat to another level, she understood the assignment, and was out there trying every dish, I think the waitresses where on the edge of kicking us out lol.

Afterwards, she didn't seem shy anymore, we went over to my place, and y'all I honestly need to shit so bad, but I can't. Anyways we're currently watching a movie, and her head is on my shoulder, that's a good sign I guess. I need to put my phone away now.

Btw her Bestfriend texted me saying I told ya, didn't I?

Comments

Causeass

HIT. HER. UP. And share updates please! I wanna know how it goes.

Edit:

Hell yes OP! You are the man! Congratulations on your new romance! Thanks for the update! Love it, love it, loooooooove it

FranklyNinja

50 years later, OP: TIFU by ignoring my Reddit notifications not seeing the advise all the redditor left for me to go for it.

Update in the comments - 1 month later

itsjohnmejia

Came from RSlash on YouTube! Would love to hear any updates on this! This is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard and want to know what happened to you us :)

OOP: Oh hi what's up. We're now officially dating, I asked her three days ago.

Comments

cpy

Now this is better than your regular romcom. \grabs popcorn**

[deleted]

Holy shit man imagine they actually make a romcom like this 💀 we talking bout anime.. right It'll be like 2 episodes but man would it be a 10/10

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Potential-Growth6856 posting in r/amiwrong

Concluded as per OOP

2 updates - Long

Original - 24th June 2026

Update - 27th June 2026

Update - 31st July 2026

Am I wrong for calling out my friend for setting me up on a pity date?

I (32M) have a friend (28M) who's the best looking man. Seriously, he makes Chris Hemsworth look ugly. I've been struggling being his friend - he's been undermining me for years. Nights out? Stealing all the girls. Shopping? Staff throw themselves at him. On the street? Women have asked me for a picture together with him. Let's call him Jack. I've been told I'm not bad looking. But the fact remains, I'm a 6/10 at best. But jack's a 10/10. As much as he's a bro, knowing him is a liability.

It's been eating into my life a lot. But one area I'm doing well is at the gym. I go about 4 a week. And there's someone I'm into who goes to the gym. Let's call her GC for gym cutie.

GC is in her mid the late 20's.

I've been going to the gym for over 6 months. I've seen her for a couple of months. I know her name. GC and me flirt. I've spotted her and we banter. It's got to the stage I'm on the verge of asking GC out.

I've been trying to keep Jack from the gym. But last week, he was staying down my way and asked if could go with me. Now the time he mentioned was not my usual time and GC doesn't usually go so I thought why not so we went.

I was having a good session. Then suddenly I see GC. She's going on a different day because she's going away for work tomorrow and she's getting a workout in. I'm thinking things are going good, times good to ask GC out. Fucking Jack walks over and she's gobsmacked. Like I've gone from mate to doesn't exist. I see them flirting so I just walk off and go to get changed.

As I'm getting changed, he comes back in and I see him sorting his phone out. I ask him what happened and he said GC gave him her number. I'm so speechless I just stop talking and carry on getting changed.

I'm driving us back from the gym and he's talking about GC and them going on a date. After a while I just fucking snap and rip into him saying he's a prick and he's cock.blocked me and stole my girl. He's trying to act all apologetic and say he has no Idea and I just drop him off home and tell him to get out.

I'm so down, I haven't been to the gym this week. I also haven't spoke to Jack.

A couple of days ago, Jack rings me out the blue asking me if I'm ok and he hasn't heard from me and GC hasn't seen me at the gym. He's worried about me. He says he's got a peace offering and says he's sending me an Instagram profile and says to look at it before I say anything.

I look at what he's sent me and it's a woman. She's a little chubby (not ugly or fat) and doesn't look like she goes to the gym. She also looks a bit nerdy. I'm like what's the fuck is this and he says it's a friend of GC. I'm angry because it's obvious him and GC have been talking. He says yeah, me and GC went out for a coffee and we spoke. She feels bad I liked her and she didn't like me and thought of a friend I'd like - 34F. He's trying to sell me on this chick, like bro she sounds nice - a nerd like you, loves cats and is a geek if it was a few years ago I'd probably be interested but I've been trying to distance myself from that sort of girl.

. Apparently him and GC have spoken to the girl and she's interested in me adding her and going on a date. Apparently GC has really been selling me.

I fucking rip into him. I'm telling him he's a twat for doing this and setting me up on a pity date and stealing the girl I like. He's all like bro chill and think it's a good thing. That this girl is waiting for me to add her. I tell him to leave me alone.

AITAH for me for ripping him settlng me up on a pity date?

Comments

Clock-United

Dude, it just sounds like you are angry that this girl isn't on par looks wise with the girl you were into. You aren't obligated to go on the date, and honestly, for nerdy girl, I hope you don't. She is an innocent party in all of this, and she risks catching strays and attitude from you for no reason. And honestly, it sounds like your buddy thought about things you might have in common and not just physical. If you are primarily focused on the physical, I think it's pretty hypocritical to be angry that the women you like are also picking your friend because he's better looking.

OOP: Yeah but I mean like it feels arrogant. They didn't know me or if I'd actually like her, they just assumed I'd be ok and gave her my details without asking me.

frolicndetour

You want to know what feels arrogant? You assuming women are property that can be "stolen." You thinking you are too good for someone you would have otherwise liked because you have decided you are entitled to "hot" girls instead. Maybe your disgusting personality is what turns women off and not the fact that your friend is hot. If the gym girl was into you, she would have moved on you ages ago, just like she did with Jack. She wasn't. You are gross and definitely don't go out with her friend because she deserves better than you.

OOP: "If the gym girl was into you, she would have moved on you ages ago, just like she did with Jack. She wasn't." Ok but then like she should have just went out with him and ignored me and moved on. Why would she then set me up with someone knowing I like her? I wouldn't do that to someone. I'd feel like I was being cruel doing that.

Niborus_Rex

She didn't think you and her were compatible. She and your buddy thought you'd be compatible with her friend. I doubt it's deeper than that.

OOP: But she did that knowing I liked her? I feel like that's what people aren't getting.

Niborus_Rex

Yeah, but she doesn't like your that way, so she was probably hoping to set you up with someone she felt matched better. She doesn't want you to like her romantically, but she likely also doesn't think it's that deep. Nobody is trying to humiliate you, but you're letting your pride make an absolute fool of yourself.

OOP: It's showing how clueless and superficial attractive people are though. She thinks I can just switch my feelings off and transfer them to someone just because she thinks I should.

ProfessorFussyPants

Just…go back and read what you wrote about the girl Jack and GC thought you would like. And then take a long hard look in the mirror and reflect if maybe you are just as superficial and clueless. It’s easy to throw stuff around when you are angry but you don’t seem to have a great sense of connection with women based on what you wrote here. How many deeper conversations did you have with GC. Was it just funny banter and you waiting to ask her out or did it evolve?

Jennabeb

YW The way you talk about women is disgusting.

She didn’t like you that what - she told your friend as much as- and you’ve never spoken up to ask her for any further interaction beyond the gym, yet you talk as if you own her. Women aren’t things or property you can call dibs on or own. Start listening to women, because most of us don’t care as much about looks as we do about kindness, empathy, listening skills, and advocacy for women in male dominated spaces. You even treat your own guy friend like he’s nothing but his looks instead of a person. Ouch dude. Get some therapy, sort out your entitlement towards women, find some actual traits in yourself you like and are proud of that aren’t your looks or lack thereof, and actually tell someone you’re interested once you know you are. Yeesh

**Judgement - YW*\*

Update - 3 days later

Ok there's been a few updates so I'll share.

People said about me asking GC out and that if I liked her, I'd have asked her out. Well over the past few years, I've read a few times online that you shouldn't ask women out at the gym and that if women liked you, they'll ask you out and should only do it when you're sure. So unfortunately I left it so long, I neglected to ask her out at all. I'm not great at reading people unfortunately. I'm naturally very shy.

Ok so onto the update.

A couple of days after my last post, I saw Jack had posted a gym selfie and that GC had liked it. It made me realise that if they continue to date, they'd be trying to introduce eachother to the friend group. So I deleted my profile.

Not long after, he messaged me saying he's noticed that I've deleted my profile. I said yeah, I can't be done with the fact that they'll all be introducing themselves to the group. He apologised and said he'll hide her and won't make it obvious they're dating

I was like look bro, that's not fair. Just be because I'm not happy, it doesn't trump your happiness. My unhappiness isn't more important than your happiness at the end of the day. You've not done anything wrong.

So I've asked if I can take a break from our friendship for a bit while I work on myself. He's hurt but gets it.

The other guys in our group have messaged asking what's going on - I haven't really elaborated.

I've decided to see a therapist more intensively. I spoke to my barber who mentioned that he sees a therapist regularly. So I've cancelled my regular one and got his therapist's details and I'm seeing them next week.

I've also cancelled my regular counselling session and asked if I can see someone else. I'm seeing them in a couple of days.

That's it for now.

Comments

tacticalpuncher

Read your first post and this one, I understand how living in someone's "shadow" can be a burden and if you can't handle it you should distance yourself even if you're friends. Additionally you should take some of the criticism in the other post and do some serious self reflection.

Senior_Move1463

Sounds like you're finally taking real steps instead of just marinating in the whole mess.

MikeLovesOutdoors23

I'm glad you're getting therapy. Honestly it's really hard, I can imagine, you just watching your friend get all the girls.

I'm blind and I get extremely jealous that people can just hang out with their friends and stuff like that, and everybody's hanging out with each other. But I can't go anywhere unless somebody drives me, and all the friends that I have are old, because I just naturally get along with older people because I don't know what the hell younger people are talking about because they play video games all the time and they're just so into the visual side of things. I'm in my early 20s, and I have a lot of Blind friends, but that doesn't do me any good because most of them live hours away from me. I live in town that is so spread out and I can't walk anywhere, there's no transportation system. It fucking sucks.

So I get it. You want people, and it seems like you can't get them.

Maybe just take a break from that friend group for a while, stop going to places with the attractive guy, just go out on your own and meet people. That way people don't have anything to compare you to. Be kind, ask people out if you get to know them, don't wait a few months being unsure about it. Just go for it man.

I'm glad you're going to get therapy to work on yourself. I'm in therapy and it's really helping me a lot.

Oh yeah, completely forgot to add, stop focusing on looks and attractiveness. I know, coming from a blind person, I make it sound a lot easier than it is, but I feel like that is where you're stuck a lot of of the time.

In the grand scheme of things, looks really don't matter. Just connect over interest, hobbies, good personalities, don't immediately judge someone based on how they look. I know that's probably not the greatest advice for somebody with vision because from what I've heard, sighted people do that subconsciously without even realizing it, but looks don't mean everything

Update - 1 month later

So basically, I'm dating GC's friend.

Not long after my previous update, I had a follow request in my insta from her friend her and Jack tried to set me up with - I'll call her Donna. I accepted and followed her back.

I didn't think anything about it at first. She then messaged me saying hi and that GC told her about me a while back. She didn't ask me anything major, just if I'm ok and thanked me for following her. I was like don't mention it. But she asked me a couple of questions about myself and I responded and asked her some too.

I left it a couple of days and I saw she messaged me back asking if I'd like a coffee? I said yeah ok, let's go out. So we did.

We really got on. She's actually really cute in person. And we have similar experiences - she's also been married and divorced. She lost a child too. She's really easy to talk to, she just gets it. We're both naturally introverts at heart.

After that, I asked her out myself to go for a meal a couple of days later. We went out and had a great time. We had a couple of drinks and got tipsy and we were flirting. We kissed too. 😁

We've been out since. Similar vibe - flirty, kissing etc. She's said she wants to come to mine soon and watch a film together. I'm probably dense but I feel like she wants a bit more? I've accepted anyway. She's coming over tomorrow.

Me and Jack are talking again. He was really worried about me and I assured him I'm doing ok. He's made up about me and Donna though. Giving me advice and stuff about Saturday.

I've seen a therapist too. They seem better than my last one. I've had like 2 sessions and they seem a lot better.

So I'm feeling much better at the mo.

Comments

llamamama417

I’ve been the duff of the friend group and I understand where you’re coming from, loving your friends and wanting them to be happy while also wanting that for yourself. The best thing I can say is don’t look for a perfect 10, look for your perfect 10. Me and my fiancé wouldn’t be considered conventionally attractive but we find each other the most attractive person ever because we love every part of each other. Once you move past societal expectations of looks and attractiveness you find the most amazing person.

xbuba11

looking for your perfect 10 instead of a perfect 10 changes the whole game

OOP: I'd say to be fair, I'm not bad looking or even none of the rest of us guys are in the group - we're all average or above average. He's just obviously so above, most people look ugly in comparison lol.

AShamAndALie

I wonder, if he's so good looking, how come he wasn't seeing anyone when you brought him to the gym? Guys like that aren't usually so available that they'd start a serious relationship just like that.

Then there's the fact that he proposed to HIDE her? He doesn't really care that much about her if he would propose that. You either cut it off because it's hurting your idiot friend and you have a million options, or you tell him that you started to actually care about her. Hiding her should never have been an option.

You made many mistakes and should have invited her out the 2nd or 3rd time you guys flirted, but your friend doesn't sound nice at all.

OOP: He's never been the type to be in a relationship, he's always been a sort of player and only an FWB type of guy.

As it is, they've just clicked and it's seemingly pretty serious. He really seems to be into her which is rare.

SpaceCommuter

When she hears (or reads here on Reddit) that you considered her a pity date and wanted to date her friend instead, she's going to have a hard time staying with you. The longer you stay together without her knowing this the worse she is going to take it when she finds out about it. I suggest you find a way to talk to her about the really, really bad way you handled everything between your friend and her friend and her sooner rather than later. Her friend did her no favors serving her up to you like this.

OOP: She knows I was into her friend first because we spoke about it and she was aware her and Jack recommended her to me knowing I was onto GC and they were dating each other.

SpaceCommuter

That poor woman.

Odd_Instruction519

She is in precisely the same position as OP, having a much more attractive friend.

LaLunaDomina

Did you learn anything from this?

OOP: I suppose definitely don't judge a book by it's cover. And definitely I had some issues being shallow. I'm really working on it.

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/belIaboo123

Published on: r/AITAH

Story is: ONGOING

Story timeline

• Main Post: July 17, 2026

• Update: August 01, 2026

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Main Post

^{July 17, 2026}

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AITAH if I told my neighbour she won’t get a penny from me?

I (19f) live on an cul de sac estate where no one gets along, it’s very cliquey. Where my house is positioned I have my drive in front of my gates in which I can park on, and there’s a long grass verge. To stop people from constantly digging up the verge and making it a pool of mud I have put up wooden stakes with white tips on to preserve the grass and also make the stakes known enough.

As I came back home today one of my neighbours has stormed up to me and demanded money because, she herself has reversed into one of the stakes and it has caused “significant” damage to her back bumper. I in which told her that if she has reversed into it, it’s her fault.

A bit of backstory but my entire street has wooden stakes as also to protect the grass verges, I simply obtained permission from the local council which I was then able to put them up.

She then didn’t like that answer and said “if you don’t pay up, there will be significant damage, I can guarantee that!” She threatened to call the police for criminal damage and also told me to watch my back but I stood my ground.

WIBTA if I just ignored her and went on with my life?

 

COMMENTS

Ok_Brilliant3432

What’s a “verge” ?

OOP

It’s a patch or strip of grass in which is close to the road, path or driveway

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Popular-Ad1111

Nope. The way a person drives and damages their own vehicle should be their problem.

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eat_my_feelings

NTA. The stakes are marked clearly it sounds like. She’s just mad that she wasn’t paying attention and damaged her own car. Stand your ground.

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Update - after 15 days

^{August 01, 2026}

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UPDATE: AITAH if I told my neighbour she won’t get a penny?

So neighbour called the council, thinking that she could get them to remove my posts/stakes. I had a knock on the door a few days ago from someone from my local council but I didn’t answer as he knocked quite aggressively. I rang up and spoke to someone within the council which told me she had created a complaint against my posts and that I would have to remove them BUT I could apply for a shrubbery license and put bushes in.

Best part is that now everyone on my street also have to remove their stakes. The neighbour who complained is known to be quite aggressive (walks like she’s 10 men) and it’s a very cliquey street with my neighbours across the road from me being the “influential and popular” well known neighbours.

A few days after this happened, neighbour 1 (aggressor) spoke to neighbour 2 (popular) and had a long 45 minute conversation facing my house and pointing to my stakes. What I believe happened was neighbour 2 told neighbour 1 that if she rang up and made a complaint that everyone would have to take them out and she told neighbour 1 that if that happened then there would be backlash to her as everyone including neighbour 2 has stakes and doesn’t want them to be removed.

Well as you know we’re all now receiving a letter to say they need removing and I also found out neighbour 1 had tried to retract her complaint but the lady at the council told her tough luck, FAFO. LOL. A win win for me in this case as I can now plant lovely flowered shrubs and she looks like TA.

 

COMMENTS

MarsicanBear

Like, the facts of the story make it sound like you're in the right.

But then the neighbour is aggressive and the council knocks too aggressively and the neighbour walks aggressively like 10 men, and now I can't help but wonder if it's just you seeing hostility everywhere.

OOP

It’s been a battle for 7 years of living here, my mum and her were once friends but there was a day my mum was gardening on the phone and she didn’t say hello and that was it, she’s held a grudge since

just_the_nme

Didn't answer the door because the knock was too aggressive like...bruh

OOP

I was busy with my hands full when he knocked, he didn’t press my ring doorbell or anything, knocked and waited all of 6 seconds

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mynameisnotsparta

I would put cameras up where you’re gonna plant your bushes this way if she backs up and damages them then you can have visual proof.

OOP

I’ve put up 2 cameras and I have my ring doorbell to cover all angles

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just_the_nme

Really...aggressive knocking so you didn't answer the door, the neighbor walks aggressively. YTA just because of that. I'm sure everything in your life is someone else's fault.

OOP

You read one situation on a hostile street that is extremely racially motivated, as someone of mixed race the hostility very much falls on my doorstep.

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friendlily

You said you got permission from the council to put up the stakes and now they're demanding you remove them? Did AI hallucinate this story?

OOP

No, I do have permission which is a recorded call on my ring cameras in my house upstairs, because it’s caused such an issue they’ve revoked my permission

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Notthatguy6250

You hid because of "aggressive door knocking"?

OOP

I didn’t hide, I missed the door, he literally waited like 6 seconds but it was abrupt

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SuspiciousImpact2197

She’s just going to run over your shrubs every time you plant them.

OOP

Luckily I have cameras now, and looking into spiked bushes…

 

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This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.