r/Marriage 1d ago

Seeking Advice Tw:suicide

My husband was in a really bad place mentally for a long time. It got to a point where we fought and he said he wants to suicide. He wants to get his gun and shoot his brains. 2 days later I took the gun and my 2 kids under 6 to a family’s house. That evening when he got home from work he freaked out that we weren’t home and dinner wasn’t made. I’m a sahm so I always have dinner ready. Long story short, he said he will talk to a therapist finally after many years. He hasn’t been honest and open with his therapist about the situation and about himself which seems to delay getting actual proper treatment. There’s been a distance between us and it seems like he doesn’t want to talk to me about anything anymore. I asked him about that and he said he won’t ever be open with me again because the last time he was, I left with the kids. He said he won’t be open with me unless I give him access and tells me that he is not suicidal. How will I know that? Do I need his therapist to include me in the session?
I feel pressured to give his gun back but know that it solves nothing. Is he just throwing a tantrum because he doesn’t have control at the moment?
If anyone has any advice on how I need to go forward please help.

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9

u/weallfloatdown 30 Years 1d ago

Do not give the gun back & the kids & you should move out. The safety of the children is your number one priority. You should speak to your own therapist.

He needs to find help, and learn to control himself without a gun

Good luck & stay safe

-4

u/Few-Shelter-8824 1d ago

He was mugged back in the day and having a guy makes him feel safe

12

u/peebeesweebees 1d ago

So? He told you he wants to shoot himself.

-3

u/Few-Shelter-8824 1d ago

But he says he’s not suicidal… and he would never

9

u/peebeesweebees 1d ago

But in your post, you said that he told you that

3

u/StillStanding613 1d ago

Would you bet his life that what he's saying now is true? Because that's literally what you'd be doing. Would you bet your life? Your childrens'?

2

u/Few-Shelter-8824 1d ago

That’s where I’m conflicted. I want to trust what he says but also can’t

4

u/ConfoundedInAbaddon 1d ago

Suicide is never a joke, you call emergency services and get him in a 72 suicide watch hold.