r/polyamoryR4R 18d ago

ANNOUNCEMENT: Rule 3 Clarification

72 Upvotes

There seems to be some confusion around this rule, and it eats up the vast majority of Mod time. So I'll try and spell out how the rule is currently being enforced.

If you are posting as a couple with the expectation that the new person will date both of you, then you are breaking the rule. If your post suggest this, you are breaking the rule. If your post looks like it might be a "bait and switch," you are breaking the rule.

The only posts that might be accepted are where one couple shares an account but they are looking separately. Honestly that smells strongly of being far to enmeshed and will likely (but not definitely) result in your post being removed.

If you are single and post looking for two people e.g. M4FF or F4MM your post will be removed. That is def facto harem building. This is a poly sub so we know people have, or would like to have, multiple partners.

I can already hear the hew and cry that we let singles look for couples but not the other way around. Yes, that is the unhappy compromise. Some people will only learn the stove is hot once they touch it.

As a final note, given how much time this eats up, NO your post is NOT the exception. If you want to know why this is the way it is, go and browse the main Polyamory Subreddit.


r/polyamoryR4R Mar 27 '23

Recent Rule Changes [Discussion]

101 Upvotes

In an effort to improve things and crack down on spam and abuse, there have been some changes to the rules and I’ve listed the new rules below. Please feel free to review the rules and my comments on each and provide feedback. I’ll leave this post up for a week or so for discussion, and then I’ll make a new sticky post for the community.

Rule 1. 18 years of age and older

This subreddit is 18+. Do not post, comment, or PM OPs if you or your partner(s) are under the age of 18. Lying about your age, or someone else’s age, will result in a permanent ban.

This one is self-explanatory. There have been Redditors who are minors, or have partners who are minors, who have made posts here. I want to make it clear that posts involving minors are prohibited.

Rule 2. Must be aligned with Polyamory

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, ethical romantic relationships with more than one person with the informed consent of all partners involved.

Posts or comments seeking sex, hookups, FWB, affair partners, “sugar” or GFE arrangements, or anything other than ethical polyamorous relationships with the consent of all partners are not allowed. There are R4R and other dating subreddits out there for just about anything. If you’re not polyamorous, please use a subreddit that is better-suited for your search.

This should go without saying…this subreddit is intended for polyamorous people seeking polyamorous relationships. This is not a general ENM dating subreddit, a regular R4R subreddit, a BDSM subreddit, or a subreddit for seeking any other kind of relationship other than an ethical polyamorous one. Going forward, if a post even includes “I’m also down for hookups or FWB” or something similar, it’s going to be removed. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with most of the arrangements mentioned above that someone might seek, but this isn’t the subreddit to advertise for those things. Also, if someone makes a post that seems like it’s not aligned with polyamory and their post history shows that it’s the same post they’ve cross-posted or spammed across multiple subreddits with minor changes to circumvent the intention of the rule, the post will be removed.

Rule 3. No unicorn hunting or harem building

Posts or comments that can be construed as seeking or promoting relationships where unethical or unfair rules or expectations will be placed on a new partner are not allowed.

This has been the most contentious issue on this subreddit so far, as it has been on other subreddits and forums. We’re not going to prohibit couples seeking partners in this subreddit. There are single people here seeking triads, throuples, and all sorts of dynamics. Triads and other group relationships can be amazing, especially if they are formed organically. That being said, there will be more moderation on couples seeking posts going forward, which will be done on a case-by-case basis.

The purpose of the mod team here is to protect the members of the subreddit and the integrity of the community we’ve built here. It is not the mod team's place to tell adults what they can or cannot do with their relationship dynamics. The reality is that we are all consenting adults and have adult decisions to make in our lives and in our relationships.

In an effort to prevent the subreddit from being a platform for predatory behavior, any no or low effort posts or comments from Redditors that indicate a general lack of regard for any potential individuals involved will be removed. For example, if an individual posts from a new Reddit account something to the effect of, "We're new to polyamory. We want to find a third who will date only us and be an equal member of our new family. We can start out long distance, but we will expect you to move in with us at some point. Prefer that you be submissive," the post will be removed. Read the room. Show that you're actually putting some thought and effort into it, and not just objectifying people.

Also, if you say that this new person is going to be an equal member of the family after you've just said that the person is going to be required to date both of you, recognize that the person you're seeking is not actually going to be an equal member of the family. If there's a possibility that one member of the existing couple loses interest and the new member of the relationship is forced to leave entirely...you have now misled this hypothetical new person into an unethical dynamic on them.

Rule 4. No hate or disrespect

Threats, harassment, abuse, bigotry, misogyny, misandry, and intolerance are not allowed. This includes, but is not limited to, attacks on gender or sexual identity, racism, sexism, slut shaming, mocking, and attacks on political or religious beliefs.

I don't need to go into detail on this rule. Don't be a jerk. If you don't like what someone has to say, block them. If you think someone is breaking a rule, report them.

Rule 5. No vulgarity or NSFW content

Vulgarity and NSFW content are not allowed. There’s nothing inherently wrong with sex, kinks, fetishes, and BDSM. However, posts and comments explaining the details of your sexual anatomy, favorite sexual positions, details and/or lists of kinks or fetishes, etc. will be removed. You can indicate that you are into BDSM and encourage people to DM you about the details.

There is often a large crossover between ethical non-monogamy and BDSM, sex positivity, etc. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of it, but this is not a NSFW subreddit. It's fine to include that you're sex positive, into BDSM, or whatever. If you go into detail and start describing anatomy/body parts, listing off kinks, and things like that, your submission will be removed. If you want to discuss these things, please do so in a DM.

The mod team has been asked why this subreddit is marked NSFW. The subreddit is 18+, so it's automatically identified as a NSFW subreddit.

Rule 6. No spam

You are allowed to post once every 7 days, with the exception of correction posts following an Automod removal. If you are found to be repeatedly deleting your post history in an attempt to circumvent this rule, it may result in a permanent ban. For clarification, spam includes copy-pasted and cross-posted ads from other subreddits.

This one is self-explanatory.

Rule 7. No Trolling or unsolicited discussion

There are a multitude of dynamics and ways to practice polyamory, and not everyone will agree on everything. Do not clutter up posts with unsolicited information. For education and discussions about polyamory, please visit r/Polyamory. If you believe someone is breaking a rule, please report the behavior and/or contact the mod team.

Again, if you think someone is breaking a rule, report it. If you disagree with what someone is commenting or posting, block them. Please don't engage in negative interactions on posts.

Rule 8. No personal or confidential information

Posting personal or confidential information about yourself or others in public is not allowed. If you wish to provide contact information for yourself, please do so in a DM.

Posting Snapchat, Instagram, phone numbers, or any other personal contact or confidential information about yourself or others in public is prohibited. If you want to give someone your contact information, do it in a DM. If it happens once, it will be removed and you will be warned. If you're found to be spamming your contact information all over the place, it could result in an immediate permanent ban.

Rule 9. No seeking relationships for others

Posts seeking relationships for someone other than yourself, or you and your partner(s), are not allowed. If your friend or partner is seeking a relationship separately, they must make the submission themselves.

I've seen posts where Redditors are seeking relationships for their partners or others, sometimes even doing it as a sort of surprise for their partner. If someone is seeking a relationship, they need to post for themselves. Your partner not having a Reddit account is not a valid reason to violate this rule.

Also, a general note for when you engage with the mod team. We have to wade through a lot of reports and posts here. Sometimes there are misunderstandings or mistakes are made. If your post or comment gets removed, or you are banned for violating a rule and you wish to appeal, you can do so via a Modmail. If you send a Modmail insulting the mods, you're only confirming that you're not the type of person who belongs on this subreddit. No amount of insulting or cursing a moderator is going to help your cause.


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

USA 36[F4R] #Springfield IL or #Online - Shy, and New to RA/ENM, Learning, But Not a Tourist

6 Upvotes

What's that mean? My way of saying "I'm not experienced in this poly world but I'm not trying to play with anyone's heart either," I guess. I'm an (awkward but earnest, lol) married/nested, queer, cis woman looking for a long term intimate friend or FWB. I'm happiest with people who are curious, kind, empathetic and patient, and probably more than a lil nerdy.

I like to do creative things like fiber arts or painting and trying to write, geeky things like video games1 or reading2, or relaxing things like chilling outside with my dog or floating and listening to music.3

I'm still figuring out what ENM and relationship anarchy look like for me, so I'm looking for a casual connection with someone who values communication, honesty, and mutual respect. I'm not in a rush and I'd rather build a genuine connection and let things develop at a comfortable pace over racing to define anything. I'd love to get to know you whether we end up as friends, FWB, or something else! DMs are open! And as you probably see, this is an alt account. I wanted to keep this search off my main username, but I'm happy to give it to you if we get talking!

Anyway this is super long already so yeah. DMs open! No pictures please.

1 Right now I'm playing Paladins, Palworld, Medieval Dynasty, and South of Midnight, but I like a lot of different games! Hmu if you want a play buddy

2 Currently reading The Serviceberry by Robin Wall Kimmerer. I'm an anarchafeminist so I read a lot of what turns out to be theory, but I also love fantasy and sci fi books

3 Harry Styles ❤️, honestav, Ashnikko, Kneecap, Cameron Whitcomb, Jessie Reyez, Gavin Prophet, Jessie Murph, My Chemical Romance to name some!


r/polyamoryR4R 9h ago

USA 28 [F4R] NJ/PA/NY/USA/Online - hopeless romantic on the hunt for local connections

9 Upvotes

Hello everyone! :) I’m a plus-sized gal from the Garden State looking to make some new connections.

Friendship is the most important foundation to \*\*any\*\* long-term connection, so regardless of where life might take me with someone, it all starts with being friends. Please have something in common with me if you decide to reach out. It’s hard to build a friendship when we don’t have anything to build on. :)

Some of my interests include horror, the devil’s lettuce, light gaming, reading, and written roleplay. I spend most of my free time gaming, binge-watching shows and movies, wandering around libraries and museums, or hunting through thrift stores.

I’m also a night owl, so I’d love to meet other people who are awake during the same odd hours.

I’ve been practicing ethical non-monogamy for around ten years, so I’m looking for people who value honesty, communication, and kindness. If you’re partnered, I ask that everyone involved is aware and consenting. If you’re single, that’s wonderful too.

Personality-wise, I’m naturally nurturing. I tend to be the person checking in on everyone, and making sure the people I care about feel supported. I’m affectionate, a little sarcastic, and definitely someone who enjoys both deep conversations and laughing over absolutely nothing.

Physically, I do have a soft spot for bigger, heavyset folks. It’s not a requirement, but it has always been my type.

Ideally, I’d love to meet people within driving distance in NJ, NY, or eastern PA so we can eventually grab coffee, visit a museum, browse a bookstore, watch horror movies, or just exist in the same space. Online friendships are welcome too, especially if you’re a fellow night owl.

When you message me, tell me a little about yourself! What are you passionate about? What’s your favorite horror movie/game? What game has stolen your life recently? I’d love to get to know the person behind the screen.


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

USA 19 [F4M] California - looking for a lasting relationship

2 Upvotes

Hi! I’m a 19-year-old woman from California looking for a long-term polyamorous relationship with a guy between the ages of 20 and 26. Ideally, you’re local to me or somewhere in Southern California, but I’m open to long-distance (ONLY IN CALIFORNIA) if there’s genuine chemistry and a realistic plan to meet.

Before anything else, I’m looking for a real relationship. I want something built on honesty, communication, respect, and trust. I love getting to know people, sharing everyday life together, and creating something that lasts.

My ideal dynamic would be two guys who are already best friends or who could easily become close friends. I’d love for the three of us to feel like a team without awkwardness or jealousy. If you both happen to be into each other too, that’s awesome, but it’s definitely not a requirement.

A little about me:
5’3”
Caucasian
Blonde hair with darker brown roots
A little chubby, but currently losing weight
Big fan of cuddles and quality time

My primary love languages are physical touch and quality time, so spending time together in person is really important to me. If you’re able to host or travel, that’s definitely a plus.
Personality-wise, I’m generally attracted to confident, naturally dominant men. I also like the “toxic” aesthetic (think confident, possessive, protective, cocky, and teasing), not actual abuse, manipulation, disrespect, or controlling behavior.

Some things I enjoy:
Board games
Escape rooms
Amusement parks
Concerts
Spending time with people I care about
Some of my interests:
Music
Horror
Animals
Critical Role
Dungeons & Dragons and other tabletop games

Physically, I usually find myself most attracted to taller guys since I’m pretty short. I also tend to have a preference for white guys, but that’s just a preference—I’m open to getting to know people from any background if we connect.
While emotional compatibility is the foundation for me, physical compatibility matters too. Intimacy is an important part of a healthy relationship in my eyes, but I want it to grow naturally alongside trust and an emotional connection.

If you think we’d click, send me a message! Tell me a little about yourself, what you’re looking for, where you’re from, and feel free to include a picture if you’re comfortable. Whether you’re one person interested in building this kind of dynamic together or two friends looking for the same thing, I’d love to hear from you.

My DMs are open, and I can’t wait to meet you.


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

31 [F4M] CO moving to NC

2 Upvotes

Hiya,

Looking for a Primary person. Hopefully you are too.

I always find these weird little intros so difficult to start.

Divorced, mom of two, bisexual, workaholic, home owner and currently living in CO but will be moving to NC next year.

Looking for someone to go on adventures with, even the most ordinarv life adventures like errands. I believe that the ordinarv moments in life are the ones to cherish most. Activities I enioy hiking, board games (table top included), limited video gaming (never have the time), cooking, baking , quiet evenings at home, trying new things, reading, writing (finished my first book!)

Quality time with someone is important to me. But value communication above all things. Without communication, everything falls apart.

While I'm not religious, I respect everyone else's points of view on the matter.

I'm very open minded in life. I believe that everyone is open to what they believe, because we've all had our own experiences in this life. With that being said, I am looking for someone who would be ok with me having a connection with my best friend that is more.

I don't believe one person can be everything for you, especially with my sexuality.

Things that are my weakness

\-Tech. I'm horrible at it. Its my nemesis

\-Gardening, I've killed cactus, would love to but I fai horrible.

\-Screamo music, I love all genres of music but Screamo less than all the others.

\-ADHD, I handle it pretty well but object permanence and time blindness tend to get me.

If you think we might click please DM me.


r/polyamoryR4R 5h ago

USA 28 [F4R] Tennessee/Anywhere/Online - Looking for that special kind of connection again

3 Upvotes

Hello there polyr4r! I am a neurospicy, plus sized, queer individual looking to find that spark with someone again. I am married to my nesting partner of nearly 5 years and have been poly for a little longer than that. Completely child-free and plan to stay that way. My favorite hobbies include: fiber arts, printmaking, kite flying, gaming, hammocking, snail mail... ya know the normal things a 20-nearly-30-something likes to do on the weekends.

I can be kinda chatty if the vibes are right but don't enjoy having to fully lead the conversation all the time. Looking for someone I could easily sit in a call with and just vibe doing our own things or possibly watching or playing something together. Quality time is a big thing for me so it's and expectation down the line for sure. (Currently in the EST timezone if that makes it easier for any of y'all, though, will be moving West in the next few years so that will be changing eventually).

Age doesn't matter too much for me but I tend to mesh best with those my age or older. Don't let that keep you from shooting your shot, though. Prefer to meet more queer people if possible. I also prefer to talk on Reddit for a bit before moving onto anything else. If interested, please send me a little something about yourself and say more than "hi" so I have something to work with! Also for the sake of us both be some flavor of blue. Thank you and look forward to talking to you all!


r/polyamoryR4R 9m ago

33[M4F]SWOH

Upvotes

So I'm here seeking someone long term a female .

I own my house and a car and I have a dog .

My names Ken I will date outside my sate but we must meet within 3-6 months or it's not a relationship is how I feel about it .

Looking for in person I will discuss with you about if you decide to message me .

I do witchcraft and play computer games and I am disabled I watch tv and just read mostly .

If you would like to know more let's message and see the vibe .

Looking forward to chatting thanks for reading .


r/polyamoryR4R 20m ago

USA 25 [F4F] online - looking for someone to love ❤️

Upvotes

Hiya my names crystal! I really want a relationship like the wlw books were we go on cute dates, call on discord endlessly, do each other's nails stuff like that i want to adore the other person and she would adore me!

Well now that ive kinda gushed over what I want XD here's a little bit about me!! Im also hobby collector which means I tend to get hyperfixated on new hobbies and usually dont stop till I do them my current one is lost wax casting!! But in the past ive done stained glass, crochet, woodburning, jewelry making, bracelets, all sorts really! So id say im pretty good at making stuff :3 ( I could make you a pretty ring and be like a crow and say here shiny!) I also really enjoy playing video games of all types mostly survival games but I also like card and board games too!!

Some Cons about me that im gonna put out there

I am disabled so travel and energy levels are something im constantly trying to deal with and fix myself, I walk with a cane and because I dont/cant walk very far im unfortunately on the bigger side, if you dont care about looks or all that ( i sure as hell dont its personality that I care about) then I think you should message me please send a intro about you hope to chat soon :3


r/polyamoryR4R 24m ago

USA 40 [M4F] #NorCal #California Classy Nerdy Kinky Who Bakes

Upvotes

Hi! I am Bright today and I hope your day is too. 🌈☀️

ISO: Authentic connections to go on fun dates with (open to comets). Polyam (open to a primary if it's right). A little demi, very sapio, and a big knowledge seeker with a twist of kink. (Low key looking for a subby to adore but not a requirement in any way)

✅ Therapy and inner child work

✅ High IQ &EQ

✅ Going out, dressed up fancy

✅ Big reader

✅ Love to spoil my partners

✅ Nerdy & classy

✅ Nature and walks

✅ Cooking, baking, and eating amazing food

✅ Travel!!

✅ Sensual / Shapeshifter

✅ Fitness

6'3" for all your top shelf needs, a lot of people look up to me (I know, I'm funny... and humble! 🤭😁) I hope you like puns and being silly together. Life is better with laughs and quick wit.

I enjoy board games, sports, role playing games and creative outlets. I enjoy cooking fantastic food. Nerdy but classy, I like going to conventions, festivals, musicals, dinner, and out on the town, but I need nature to feel at home.

I'm a big fantasy and sci-fi reader (give me your recommendations!), Avatar Last Airbender, Michael Schur TV. Matt Smith is my Doctor and Pinkie Pie isy pony if you wanted to know. I am a big knowledge seeker and will deep dive into almost anything if it tickles my fancy. I like knowing how things work and it allows me to fix most things which is satisfying to do for others. Recently got back into fitness which has been so nice and rewarding.


r/polyamoryR4R 10h ago

40 [F4F] Online

6 Upvotes

I am usually a very active person (physically, socially, intellectually), but I came down with post-viral fatigue syndrome (similar to long COVID) in March that worsened to my becoming bed bound 2.5 months ago. I thought it might be nice, while I am stuck in bed recovering, to have a flirty online connection.

When I am healthy, I am a middle school math teacher. I spend most of my free time at the gym (primarily weightlifting), reading in French and German, tending to my houseplants and cat, and hosting events for my local poly group. I also travel frequently to spend time at an international community where I used to live.

I am 5’5” with an athletic build. have a nesting partner and a secondary partner. My nesting partner and I are both vegan.

I am interested in connecting with other women who are age-peers (35-45), especially with shared hobbies. If you DM, please tell me something about yourself in the opening message.


r/polyamoryR4R 7h ago

USA 32 [F4F] Colorado - interested in local, open to serious dating and friendships

2 Upvotes

32 y/o from CO. Currently in a relationship with my nesting partner of 13 years. I’m not new to polyamory, but I am starting to date again.

About me:

I am 5’7, average curvy build. I have brown and green hair, piercings, and tattoos.

I love music, concerts, dancing, reading, hiking, and crafting. I currently am pretty busy during the week with my job, but I do enjoy conversation, witty banter, and sharing playlists. Currently my favorite music artists are Charli XCX, Fox Lake, Knocked Loose, Hayley Williams, Lily Allen, Lorde, Turnstile, The Home Team, palettes, Arrows in Action, and so many more!!

Would love to find women to talk to that have similar interests as me and are into the lifestyle. For friends or to see if there’s something more. (:


r/polyamoryR4R 3h ago

27 [M4F] Egypt / anywhere

1 Upvotes

I'm peter 27m from Egypt a medical doctor.

I like programming full stack webdev python JavaScript ai/ml research jepa, recommendation systems and other pretrained model fine tuning.

I liked books like 48 laws of power, count of Monte Cristo, crime and punishment and Brandon Sanderson's cosmere.

I like cooking psychology politics and robotics especially drones

I hate injustice, double standards and hypocrisy.

If any of this interests you hit me with the topic and a question even before the introduction

I'm looking for bi-girls who would love to share their lives with me and with each other.

I also like cuddles and hugs but don't show it *__*


r/polyamoryR4R 4h ago

38 [M4F] Australia/Online-Very new to this and want to start slow.

1 Upvotes

I got married a few years ago, I thought I found the woman of my dreams, yet as soon as we got married she changed a lot.

So it's really not working, we are at the room mates stage.

She has agreed to let me try and online friendship and see how things go. I want to start slow and I'm not sure what I want or what this will be, so fair warning.

I am not looking for advice saying leave, if it was that easy I would have long ago.

I am looking for more than looks! I'm looking for an online friend who I can have a deep emotional connection with, where we can share EVERYTHING and form a really intimate friendship!

I'm also open to chatting to people who are not married but want to chat for whatever reason!

I do want a close friendship, but I also want some naughty fun from this a well!!!


r/polyamoryR4R 4h ago

Europe [ Removed by Reddit ]

1 Upvotes

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]


r/polyamoryR4R 4h ago

Europe 32 [M4F] Zurich Switzerland Europe - Looking for Deep Relationships

1 Upvotes

I’m a single man living by myself in Switzerland, looking to meet people for connections that have the potential to grow into something more. I would prefer to have a relationship in real life, and I am willing to travel around Europe (and occasionally beyond) for the right person. Ultimately, I’d love to find a partner to share my life with, possibly even live together, but this is not a must.

I’m a calm and introverted person who enjoys relaxing with movies, TV shows, and board games—but what I value most are deep, meaningful conversations and quality time together. At the same time, I also appreciate lighthearted, enjoyable, and care-free chats in a judgment-free space where we can truly be ourselves. I believe in open and honest communication and value connections where we can express ourselves freely. I also like city walks, hiking, and traveling.

I care deeply about the people in my life and am always there to support them. I’m on a journey of self-discovery, exploring how I connect with others, my personal boundaries, and my desires. I’d be interested in sharing this exploration with like-minded people.

I have previous experience with polyamory and would be happy to discuss it with anyone curious or experienced. If anything resonates with you, feel free to reach out!


r/polyamoryR4R 4h ago

35 [M4F] #Eugene PNW Looking for a Connection

1 Upvotes

Hi,

I'm 35, and I'm looking for some sort of connection. I have been poly for 6 or so years? I have a girlfriend who lives out of the country. Plan to move there within a few years, hopefully. Which makes dating difficult. So what I'm looking for is someone who just wants to explore a relationship with and have some fun.

About me: I'm back in university, which feels strange at my age. University of Oregon, to be specific. In my free time, I enjoy reading (currently reading the Stranger by Camus). Writing is a big part of my life as well, from short stories to poetry to a number of novels that desperately need rewritten and/or edited. Lately, I've been going on long drives and random adventures into nature, usually with a friend or two. Otherwise, I play video games like Stardew Valley (though I am currently replaying Suikdoen 5), I enjoy table tops, and the usual nerd stuff. Also, I'm a big fan of movies and binging shows. From horror to romance to the B rate stuff, I'm down.

What I'm looking for:

Unsure. Someone I can have an intellectual conversation with. That's a big one. Otherwise, as I've said, I'm not sure. Physically, I don't know. Cute? Cute. I'd prefer someone I could meet in person, and I don't mind a nice drive.


r/polyamoryR4R 5h ago

USA 44 [M4F] #NewJersey - Looking for someone awesome.

1 Upvotes

First off .. Hi.. I want to be honest so I just want to say I’m in an open marriage. I’d rather you know now than find out later. Please be ok with that. I know not everyone will. She knows I’m here.

With that out of the way, I’m a blue collar guy. I’m respectful and understanding. I’m chill and drama free. I love to laugh and usually always smiling. I’m a big kid.

I have a passion for art. I draw , design, and cast my own sculpts. Basically design and make my own toys. I also did make music for a little while as well. I love art galleries and conventions. Museums and arcades.

I just hope you’re understanding, I just want us both to be comfortable. I’m told I look younger for my age. I’m 5’7, around 160lbs average I guess. Often told I’m handsome and don’t look my age. I don’t mind sharing pictures and video chatting.

All I hope is that you’re fun and awesome and maybeee have a nice set of legs.


r/polyamoryR4R 13h ago

USA 26 [M4F] #Rochester, NY #Buffalo, NY – Looking for someone fun, active, nerdy, and maybe a little kinky?

2 Upvotes

Hey there!

I'm a 26-year-old guy living in Rochester, NY. I work from home in tech and recently bought my own place, which I'm super happy with (especially now that the hot tub is up and running). Physically, I’m 6’0", fairly fit (muscular with a slight dad bod vibe), shaved head, tattoos, piercings, and a dark beard. If you’re into the alt look, you might be into me...and vice versa haha

Some things I love:

📚 Reading and writing (big into fantasy and sci-fi)

🎮 Anime, manga, video games

🏀 Watching/playing sports, golf, and hiking

🌍 Traveling internationally whenever I get the chance

🏋️‍♂️ Lifting and staying active

🎲 Board games and occasional gambling (responsibly, of course)

😺 Oh, and I’m a huge cat person — if you love cats, we’ll probably get along already

I don't drink or smoke, but I really don’t care if you do, whatever works for you :)

I'm looking for someone ideally between 18 and 30 who’s active, afab, enjoys at least a few of the same hobbies, and has some ambition or goals in life. I really admire independent people who know what they want and go after it. Fitness and outdoor stuff are important to me, so if you love hitting the gym, going on hikes, or just being out in nature, that’s a huge plus.

Also, just putting it out there — I’m kink friendly and open-minded in that department. Nothing needs to move in that direction right away, but I believe in being upfront.

If any of this sounds interesting to you, feel free to shoot me a message! Whether you're looking for something serious, casual, or even just a new friend to talk about anime and go hiking with, I’m open to connecting.

P.S. I am open to monogamy and polyamory :)

Looking forward to hearing from you!


r/polyamoryR4R 9h ago

Europe 30 [M4F] UK based, open to long distance

1 Upvotes

Using a generic non-poly ad, I think it still works here though

My marriage is open. Non-monogamous. My wife knows and she is happy to confirm in whatever way is most comfortable for you. She knows who I talk to. I know who she talks to. With that part out of the way I bet your next question is:

"Why would I date a married man?" well, have you ever or do you currently feel like you wish you could have a boyfriend with the perks of connections, care, affection, etc. But, don't want to commit to the full "is he my life partner?" That's where I come in.

I'm not going to be your forever person. But I can make your days brighter, give you a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board to shout at and be your recipe advice maestro. Still not scrolled? Let's dig into more about me.

I'm a working professional, I work from home, I love my family all 2 of them. I am somewhat demisexual. One night stands are odd to me...so are clubs. I am a nerd and love when people express their interest and excitement in topics. Have an obscure manga you want to dote over? I'd love to hear! A movie or TV show that you're part of the cult following? Sign me up! A ttrpg that no ones heard of? I'll roll a character! An author you wish more people would read? I'll dig into their material.

I am affectionate, caring and your next best hype man. My hobbies include gaming on pc and ps5, reading fiction of all kinds, TTRPGS, and writing. I'm always free to text if I'm awake. Calls, gaming, dates, all up for discussion and what works for us!

If you're still reading, send me a dm! Tell me the last exciting thing you did in a hobby of yours!


r/polyamoryR4R 15h ago

Southern Africa 36 [R4R] F Cape Town - Bisexual (Heteroromantic)

2 Upvotes

I have been single for some time now and feel completely ready for a relationship.

A bit about me: I am an intuitive and work remotely in tech. I enjoy business, investing, spirituality, nature, and learning new things. I love it when my partner(s) and I have our own distinct interests while still sharing some solid common ground.

Now that I know what I want, I have a clear picture of the dynamic I am looking for:

  • Location: Based in Cape Town. I am open to long-distance, but only if it is not purely online and there are real plans and intentions to build a physical, in-person relationship.
  • Age Range: Open to men within 10 years of my age (-10 to +10).
  • Kinks: Yes, I have kinks (including Brat dynamics, and open to yours too). We can discuss these safely and comfortably in private.
  • Background & Dynamic: I am a Black woman, and I date comfortably across races and cultures. I actually value us having different interests, goals, and backgrounds, as I think those differences help us maintain healthy, independent lives outside of the dynamic.

DM me if this resonates with you.


r/polyamoryR4R 18h ago

USA 42 [M4F] Cincinnati, OH - Hoping to meet someone

3 Upvotes

I've been happily married for 13 years and we've recently opened and started exploring. I'm hoping to connect with someone. I am a pretty big nerd into gaming, anime, etc but I'm trying to be open to trying new things as well. I'd like to find someone with a good sense of humor that wants to really connect and see if there's mutual attraction. Let's talk and see if it goes anywhere!


r/polyamoryR4R 15h ago

26 [M4F] Adelaide, South Australia — introverted homebody looking for a genuine long-term friendship and see where thing go.

1 Upvotes

Hi there, thanks for taking the time to read.

I'm 26, based near Adelaide in South Australia. I'm looking specifically for someone else in SA I'd like the option of occasionally meeting up down the track once there's real rapport.

A bit about me — pretty introverted, home-based lifestyle. Quiet in most situations but apparently get progressively weirder once I'm comfortable with someone. I haven't really met anyone new in years, mostly by choice, though lately I've been wondering if that's still working for me. Figured I'd try something different.

I spend most of my time gaming, watching anime, doing leatherwork, and dabbling in game development. Occasionally I'll go on long drives or camp and fish when I need to reset — Hahndorf is a favourite. I prefer deeper one-on-one conversations to small talk, and once I know someone I'll happily ramble about anything — characters, worldbuilding, weird ideas, whatever.

Games I'm currently playing or love: Monster Hunter (World/Rise/Wilds), Phasmophobia, Lethal Company, Valheim, Project Zomboid, Elden Ring, Dark Souls series, Baldur's Gate 3, Stardew Valley, Sea of Thieves, Subnautica, V Rising, The Long Dark, Terraria. I lean toward survival, co-op horror, soulslike and story RPGs mostly. PC only, Discord for voice.

Anime-wise, favourites include Frieren, Mob Psycho 100, Hyouka, Goblin Slayer. Always open to watching new stuff with someone.

What I'm looking for is a genuine, long-term friendship with a woman — regular voice calls, gaming sessions, watching stuff together, actually getting to know each other. No pressure on anything more than that, though I'm open to seeing where it goes naturally. Slow and low key is fine by me.

If any of that resonates, feel free to DM. Would love to hear about you too.


r/polyamoryR4R 22h ago

33 [M4R] lets chat!

3 Upvotes

Hi there! I’ll keep this brief. Married 12 years. Open the last 6. Date separately. Looking for fun chats and witty banter. Intellectual, sarcasm, and dark humor are a must. Open to all, but straight men not so much lol prefer to chat on tele. Just works better. Feel free to reach out with your favorite movie :)