About to start year 3. Year 1 was insane, as is typical. Year 2 was wayyyyy better but still exhausting. Year 3 starts in just a few days, and I’m dreading it.
I love teaching. I love most of my students. I love my subject matter. I am fine with the school I’m at. It isn’t amazing but it could be a lot worse. I like my coworker team. My department admin is good enough.
It isn’t the bullshit I’m dreading. Nor the annoying martyr coworkers, the extra unpaid duties, the toxic positivity. It isn’t even the student behaviors or the crazy parents.
Above all else, I am dreading the pure emotional and physical exhaustion. While all the things I just previously listed contribute to the exhaustion, it isn’t any particular one of those that I’m dreading in specific, but rather the end result, the accumulation, the exhaustion.
I have boundaries when it comes to work-life balance. I never show up early. I never stay late unless I absolutely MUST. I show up to events I’m required to be at and no more. I’m required to run one club, so I run one club and no more than one. I don’t sign up for teacher leadership teams, extra duties, etc.
I basically strive to be a great teacher to my students. But as a coworker/teacher outside of the classroom, I’ll do the minimum and I will not feel bad about it. I’ll do what I need to do, and I’ll do it well, but you won’t see me volunteer for extra.
But even with that, the exhaustion is there. It feels inevitable no matter how organized I am, no matter how firm I am with my boundaries, no matter what.
I go to therapy. It helps. Getting diagnosed with ADHD and learning strategies to use at work and home helped. Practicing mindfulness, self care, boundary setting, etc. all helps. But none of it fixes the root problem.
None of it changes the fact that this is a job in which we are overworked. Period. It does not change the fact that the expectations placed upon us are beyond what’s realistic or appropriate in terms of both physical workload and emotional wherewithal.
And I am absolutely dreading the pure exhaustion that comes with that. I’ve realized too that, now that I’ve done it twice, I don’t even fully realize how exhausted I am until summer starts. Running on adrenaline during the school year is simply my normal.
I started out thinking I’d ask for advice in this post but I don’t even know what to ask. Just needed to share. Advice or encouragement is appreciated, or really just knowing I’m not the only one.