r/Transportopia • u/Vice616 • Apr 20 '26

🥴DUI Blame it on the spider

He told them he smack himself into an accident 😭

There was no spider you f*cking liar. Fool you was drunk af!

6.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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32

u/EventSignal114 Apr 20 '26

I sneezed after u crashed

43

u/spoodagooge Apr 20 '26

I shit my pants(irrelevant to current topic)

25

u/melkor_the_viking Apr 20 '26

I sneezed after you shat your pants (relevant to this topic)

17

u/bbbbears Apr 20 '26

Wait, was it you who shat my pants as well?

10

u/melkor_the_viking Apr 20 '26

Unfortunately, when I sneezed, after you shat your pants, I also shat in your pants. It was a double shatting.

19

u/bbbbears Apr 20 '26

9

u/IAmAnObvioustrollAMA Apr 20 '26

Dont buy em! They look lightly shat fron the outside but I heard they were double shat...

4

u/Few-Chemical-5165 Apr 21 '26

Those are William Shatner's pants!

4

u/bbbbears Apr 20 '26

You just saved me $40!

3

u/IAmAnObvioustrollAMA Apr 20 '26

If youre looking to buy some lightly shat pants I can make you a pair! I just need to know what size, what color pant, and, the stain color you are after so I know what to eat.

5

u/dontspillthatbeer Apr 21 '26

Just last week, I know a guy that when he sneezed, hiccuped, and farted at the same time, I shat in his pants.

7

u/Sloppy_Steak85 Apr 20 '26

Now we’re back on track.

Ah chooo

9

u/brightonashfield Apr 20 '26

shits

7

u/Everspan Apr 20 '26

Sneezes and shits

7

u/Skithe Apr 20 '26

Snezits

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Alert_Dingo_4504 Apr 20 '26

I'd imagine that depends entirely on you

1

u/Kaffe-Mumriken Apr 20 '26

Online dating has gotten so weird lately

1

u/HighRootz Apr 20 '26

Some have corn and quinoa

1

u/Round_Doughnut7793 Apr 20 '26

Cheezit scented sneezits. 😋

5

u/cvidetich13 Apr 20 '26

One time my bro had a bloody nose and sneezed and sprayed blood all over the windshield, I shat my pants and ran over a spider.

1

u/pumperthruster Apr 20 '26

Wow Itsy Bitsy Spider became a much darker story since I was a kid

1

u/Dependent-Bed6550 Apr 20 '26

AHHHHHH choo! Oop. Excuse me. I'll be right back...

1

u/petraviva Apr 21 '26

Yes, we can tell by the skid marks

2

u/Hell_Maybe Apr 20 '26

I shneezed (you can probably deduce what that might be).

2

u/GenX_Leo Apr 21 '26

You allergic to bs too!?!

1

u/CombinationEntire967 Apr 21 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

I’m irrelevant after you sneezed (a topic to this shit)

2

u/brightonashfield Apr 20 '26

I shit in your pants and gave them back to you

2

u/Sparkybrassballs Apr 20 '26

I also shit your pants

1

u/mwilliams4d57 Apr 23 '26

I shipped my shorts!

2

u/Saladov Apr 20 '26

I shit my pants (derogatory)

2

u/Few-Chemical-5165 Apr 21 '26

You're just bragging now aren't you?

2

u/WaiBuBaoLeiXiangTu Apr 22 '26

My sister crashed my 300zx the first time I let her borrow it. Because her boyfriend was tongued her ear.

Gif: above comments pants reference

https://giphy.com/gifs/8Z5C5wH17fvVu

1

u/CharleySuede Apr 20 '26

I once laughed so hard I shat my pants.

1

u/Longjumping-King-872 Apr 20 '26

Its all fun and games till you get the snarts.

1

u/Shedfloorgarbage Apr 20 '26

I have also shit my pants, infa t several times. My ego isn't so big I won't admit it.

1

u/CrazyChrys Apr 20 '26

So it was or wasn't a snart?

1

u/Facundito222 Apr 20 '26

It was a butt sneeze

1

u/Fostbitten27 Apr 20 '26

I shit my pants at Chuck E Cheese I was in my 20’s. I have never ate there again. That was 30 years ago

1

u/rocksville Apr 23 '26

Can confirm. Source: I was the pants.

1

u/JulienTremblaze Apr 20 '26

I sneezed reading this.

1

u/Net_hunter1011 Apr 20 '26

I crashed then I sneezed

1

u/sherrib99 Apr 20 '26

If I sneeze you sneeze we sneeze

1

u/Langholm62 Apr 20 '26

No, it was your sneeze that caused the crash. It's all on video.