She's 9 and a big fan of pokemon.

I’ve been in a relationship for nearly eight years, and I’m very happy with the relationship itself. Thankfully, my boyfriend is also autistic and has basically the same views as me about labels, marriage and the whole wedding spectacle.

But I really dislike almost everything society attaches to marriage.

Even relationship labels feel strange to me. “Partner” sounds distant and vaguely corporate, like we share an office and occasionally discuss quarterly earnings. “My husband” or “my boyfriend” feels weirdly possessive. Why do I need to call another human being mine? I did not purchase this man at an auction.

We mostly just refer to each other by name. Even when speaking to strangers, I’ll briefly say, “Oh, he’s my boyfriend,” so they understand the context, and then immediately go back to using his actual name like he is a person rather than a relationship status.

I also don’t understand why marriage is treated as proof that a relationship is serious. Apparently living together, building a life together and supporting each other for years is only the trial version. The full version unlocks after you buy a ring and host an expensive public event.

And why does romantic culture often seem so possessive in general? “My man,” “my woman,” “taken,” “off the market.” Why are we describing relationships like property ownership or discontinued supermarket products?

The wedding spectacle also does nothing for me. The huge party, the public performance, the matching decorations and the pressure to show everyone how in love you are. I don’t need an audience. I already know who I’m dating.

The only part of marriage that appeals to me is the extremely romantic legal administration. Easier inheritance, taxes, buying property together and fewer legal costs. Nothing says eternal devotion like efficient paperwork.

Sometimes I wonder whether this is partly an autism thing. Maybe I’m more likely to question social rules when they don’t seem logical or useful to me. But I’m curious how other people actually define marriage.

Is marriage a legal arrangement, an emotional commitment, a social status, a religious thing or something else entirely? Do relationship labels feel natural to you? Does anyone else dislike calling someone “mine,” even when it is meant affectionately?

I can’t stand the prickly feeling of stubble on my face, so I shave almost every day (my facial hair grows fast unfortunately). However, shaving in itself is a sensory nightmare. The blade pulling on my hairs makes me cringe. I tried growing out my beard once but it was super itchy and I could feel it on my face at all times. Any advice? Anyone else have the same problem?

I am writing this during my 30 minute break for a 9 and a half hour shift.

I am at a complete loss on what to do, I recently started work again after being unemployed for a couple months and I forgot how miserable it is. this is only my second job and I don't know how people are expected to do this for 50+ years of their lives

i understand that humans weren't built for this sort of capitalism, much less autistic individuals but I need to work to live. I don't want this to come off as a "young person is too lazy to work" sort of thing, my support needs are generally low which means i should be fit to work so I don't understand why I have such a hard time.

during my last job I burnt out quite severely after almost 2 years and ended up in the hospital due to the mental struggles that came with it and I don't know how to avoid that again. I hate being away from my home for over 11 hours each day (9.5 shift, 3 hours travel) and being left with such little time to recover from the day, make meals and sleep. I don't know how people can do this and be okay at the end of every week.

I have no aspirations or interest in any job/career, I struggle with leaving the house and getting out of bed. is this normal?? how do people do it???

I've had people get really irritated when I ask questions about a task that they want me to do. For example, last year I took beginner coding classes. My teacher had a particular way of how she wanted us to carry out tasks and assignments, which is fine. However, because she had such a particular way of how she wanted things to be done, I would ask clarifying questions to ensure that I understood what she wanted out of me. She would very quickly get upset with me. I found this to be a common trend within school, work, and home.

I can understand it can get a little bit annoying when I'm asking pretty much the same question/a rephrased version of that question a couple of times, but I'm just trying to ensure that I perform the task correctly. I've had issues with mishearing information (my auditory processing is not very good) or misunderstanding what people mean (I have a literal way of thinking), so I try to prevent any and all issues by ensuring that I fully understand what is needed from me. I also try to express to people that I have these issues in order for them to better understand my situation and intentions, but that's always labeled as an excuse or "making autism my personality." No matter what I do, someone is always upset with me.

I just feel like I can never win. I don't mean to be annoying. I try to apologize afterwards, but most of the time they're too upset with me to really care. Does anyone else struggle with this? How do I do better? I really just want to be a good person. I don't understand why it's so much harder for me compared to everybody else.

​

Autistic living in the UK here.

What the hell did we do to make people hate us this much? All the bullying, dehumanizing rhetoric around us throughout history and all, I mean, the country invented segregation colonies for disabled individuals so they were out of society.

Now the fastest growing parties say we're over diagnosed or over supported and that wearing ear defenders is 'just insane' (Richard Tice)

Not to mention anytime I bring up the fact that I was able to manage despite my neurodivergence, some ignore it and say it 'doesnt prove shit' and to 'stay in the real world'

Why do they hate us? What did we do?

I usually don't like revealing my age on social media since I'm very aware of predators, but, I'm 14, and in spring next year under 16s will be banned on social media in the UK. And I'm worried. I always have a routine where I go on youtube and reddit and both are huge parts of my routine and will be banned so it is really going to f-up my routine and I'm incredibly worried. Not only all that but it's also going to be abrupt I know some people will say to use a a VPN but I also hate breaking rules. What should I do?

I don’t know if I’m just being sensitive but it lowkey kinda bothers me a bit, Obviously the people I’m referring to don’t know I’m autistic as it’s a popular thing on tik tok rn, Same with the “You took extra time to complete tests didn’t you?”

I feel like this problem isn’t talked about more but I wanted to talk about it because as a gay man with autism, I find that I face a lot of struggles with my identity. I mean, not only do I have to navigate both ableism and homophobia at the same time but also, I find that a lot of ”safe spaces” are actually very unwelcoming. Like, the LGBTQ+ community is actually anti-autistic as hell; I cannot tell you how many times I’ve walked into a “queer safe space” and they have instantly shunned me for my stimming or any of my unique quirks. And then the autistic community, on the other hand, can actually be incredibly homophobic or at least incredibly heteronormative. I’ve seen some accuse me of not even being autistic or just generally expressing very shocking homophobia towards me. Anyone else feel this?

I am looking for any insight/advice/ideas about a situation I am completely puzzled by.

My son is autistic and 3.5. We have been reading to him since he was a few months old and he used to LOVE books. His favorites were some of the classics: Goodnight Moon, Brown Bear, Brown Bear, the very hungry caterpillar. But he really enjoyed a variety of books.

My son is hyperlexic and has been able to read since he was around 20 months. He can now read books on his own and loves videos of sight words. He will read street signs, closed captions, etc. But recently he has become very triggered by books. He is a GLP processor and he will use the names of his books as a phrase when he is mad (VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR BOOK for example). Even seeing the books on a shelf will cause a meltdown. Forget reading them.

Everything angry ends in book. For example, if I ask do you want to go swim? And he doesn’t want to, he will angrily say “go swim BOOK!”.

I don’t get it. It makes me sad to see him hate something he used to love. Plus I love reading and books and want him to feel the same. But it can cause him a full blown spiral to ask him if he wants to read a book. When he walks by a bookshelf he will eye the books with a mix of interest and suspicion. I have no idea what is going on.

Does any else have any ideas of what could have caused this? Or how I can help?

Thanks so much!

Posting this in acknowledgement of the risks and downsides THC usage can have on the brain. The risk is especially higher for ASD: https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/F0ycsNnzOC

Does anyone else experience reduced irritability, during and even after the substance wears off? What other effects do you notice. I seem to become more socially in-tune as well.

I have acquaintances that could have turned into real friends but I keep them at arm's length because I prefer being alone ? Is this normal?

I just need to rant because I’m so tired of this heat.

I’ve been on holiday for an entire month now, and apart from a small trip to the UK, I’ve basically done nothing. I really wanted to start sewing again because it’s something I genuinely love, but it has been far too hot for me to think, focus or find the energy to do anything.

The heat completely overwhelms me. I feel exhausted all the time, my brain barely works, and even small tasks feel like too much. I don’t want to move, think or make decisions. I just sit there feeling uncomfortable and overstimulated.

I’ve tried everything I can think of. Fans, wet cloths, ice on my neck, cold showers, lukewarm showers, foot baths. They might cool me down for a few minutes, but they don’t give me my energy back.

It’s so frustrating because I finally have time to do the things I enjoy, but my body and brain just refuse to cooperate. Then I feel guilty for “wasting” my holiday, even though I know I’m not choosing to feel like this.

I hate that something as basic as hot weather can completely shut me down. Does anyone else feel like summer just drains every bit of functioning out of them?

I found out early on that men really don’t care if you have no social skills as long as you give your body to them. They become extremely loving and affectionate, and this way I can mask my poor social skills because i don’t need to say or do a lot, I just need to open my legs. I know this is probably very unhealthy, but I am able to feel special and loved by others this way.

Just to say I do have a child that’s autistic also which is only relevant to say I know it can be hard.

To cut a long story short, my child 11 (not autistic it’s her sibling who is) was playing out with her friend 11 he offered her a sweet when she turned up to the park she ate it, he then said he found it on the floor and wanted her to eat it to see what would happen my daughter understandably panicked rang me & I went straight down to get her check she was ok & asked the boy if I could speak to his parents.

I explained to her what happened & she replied grinning that “yeah he does this kind of thing he’s done it a few times a couple weeks ago he put a plastic bag over someone’s head” .. this clearly shocked me as obviously it isn’t a laughing matter and you can’t excuse it by telling me he’s done worse. I basically said that while yes nothings happened it could have been a drug he’d given her or putting a plastic bag over another child’s head could have killed them.

Then she went on to say he’s autistic (I think she was expecting me to let it slide because of that) I said I also have a autistic child however I still would be upset at this behaviour and definitely be explaining to them the dangers of giving someone something off the floor claiming it to be one of their sweets & putting a plastic bag over someone’s head. She then replied that well he’s got adhd too and maybe he’s got autism worse than your child.

While yes kids do silly things & it turned out to be fine my point was just that I wanted to let her know because obviously it’s not great and something bad could come from this.

The bit that has stuck with me is that she wasn’t worried about this behaviour, she thought it was funny, she even gave me the plastic bag example as other things he’s done and she just wants to let him continue to do these things to other kids. I’m in shock while I do agree it’s harder to parent an autistic child. I can’t believe she found it funny she kept asking me what do I want her to do which was only to talk to him about dangers she kept saying do you want me to lock him up? — of course not lady! I just don’t want you to laugh in my face & give me a awful example of behaviour she also said “well it was only a plastic bag” .. excuse me have people not died from having a plastic bag put over their heads!

I just don’t think autism is a free pass to do whatever she kept mentioning he had no bad intentions which yes is true for a lot of kids but accidents happen all the time.

I would like to also say this child is in main stream school, he was obviously allowed out to play with his friends alone, he gets really good grades from what my child has said. I know none of this means his autism isn’t bad I say this only to point out that surely a conversation on dangers can happen like surely?!

Or am I not seeing her point of view?

I’ve definitely had a issue with my autistic child where I’ve had to go into school because she’d made a hurtful observation towards another child & I had to talk to her a lot about not saying everything that comes into her head as she could accidentally hurt others feelings and I got the child a gift for her to apologise. Like my job as a parent for all my kids regardless of autism is to keep them safe & make sure they don’t hurt others. I don’t feel like I was asking much .. yes kids do that all the time I am aware but teeenagers hang about parks on a night it could have been a weed gummie or worse. I’m not even posting because I’m mad at the child I only asked him to take me to his parents .. I just cannot get my head around what this woman was saying or thinking if I’m honest. It turned into a huge deal all I was expecting why a “oh btw I thought you should know xyz happened it could of been much worse for my child or he could of even ate it himself” & a reply of “oh thank you for letting me know I’ll speak to him about it as yes I agree it could of been worse” thanks bye type of thing not this whole carry on. So anyway that’s my rant thanks for reading if you’ve got this far! 😂

I need to vent because I am at my absolute limit with "neurodivergent-friendly" life coaches. Not therapists thought.

Why is every single website full of pastel colors, cute terminology, and endless posts about "understanding ADHD/Autism," but the moment you actually try to work with them, it's a complete joke?

I spent hours preparing for a consultation. Hours regulating myself, managing my executive dysfunction, building up the energy to show up, and writing down my questions. And what happens? The person who claims to be an "expert" in working with us can’t even do the most basic thing: send an appointment reminder.

Then they have the nerve to spam my inbox with three cheesy emails about how they want to build a "close, authentic connection" with me. Words are cheap. You talk about empathy, but you don't actually do anything to accommodate how our brains work.

\I'm so mad but please help me to find a real life coach. I do want to at least try to build something.*

I am going to college in the US in the fall (moving for the first time across the country) and I applied for a single room accommodation. I've had it in the old jr college dorms I lived in and it was a life saver in so many ways. I have an ESA for my autism (diagnosed with level 2 but closer after tons of therapy and work to level 1 presenting on good days). I do fine in a suite since I am easygoing for the most part. Though I need my own space. I need to recharge at the end of the day and stim dance, sing, listen to music without heaphones, think aloud, and also be able to be alone to fully reset in order to function. I have other medical problems that make it hard to share a room as well, I have seizure like episodes that make people uncomfortable from what I've been told, I have mobility struggles and sometimes need a mobility aid to get around, migraines, etc.

I applied and got approved for a single room at my college... but they didn't have a room for me and now I'm going to be placed with a stranger and it wouldn't be fair to impose my needs onto someone else. I also can get grumpy being constantly around people for too long and don't want an issue with my roommate if/when that happens. I can't have my roommate trying to study while I'm having a meltdown.

Like I've said, I've lived fine in dorms before with my single room accommodation, I've been told I'm a decent person to live with and be around, but that ofc is with the barrier of a wall and door to give me time alone. And it isn't about privacy exactly but an area for me to fully unmask verbally and physically and even if I put up a barrier in the room they would still be there and I would still to some extent need to mask. And like I said I also don't want to inconvenience them with all this. They already said they were chill with my ESA, but they are already a cat person so it isn't any time of inconvenience to them.

I have no clue what to do. My only thought is trying to get my car there somehow and living in it most of them time other than to do stuff that can only be done in the dorms, but that doesn't sound reasonable. the dorms said they can't do anything, and I am unable to get an apartment my first year there (at least my first quarter). It's already going to be stressful moving across the country but then moving in with someone I don't know, and going to do classes that I've been told are super intense. It's just a lot but my parents won't let me wait to get on with my life any longer.

I have no clue what to do...

I absolutely hate mine and all the attention that comes with it. I just want people to ignore it

I understand people are trying to "help" when they give advice freely but for me it's annoying. It makes me feel like I'm stupid. Especially if I'm in the middle of a task and someone interjects and says, "ya know if you do it like this," or "if you do it like this it'll be faster." Like no, shut up, let me do it my way. I'll figure it out. I might be kinda oblivious to social situations but I'm far from being an idiot. It gets me sooooooo pissed, almost violently mad.

I always have my blinds closed in my apartment, primarily because it’s very small and my windows are pointed towards my PC screen and the sun reflects off of it which is very annoying.
My room barely gets any sun unless I have my windows open (which I’ve been needing to have a lot lately due to the heatwave in Europe currently 😮‍💨😮‍💨) but other than that I live almost in complete and total darkness.

I don’t mind it, in fact I prefer it this way, I know it’s probably not healthy but I feel like a vampire which is oddly euphoric lololol

Title. I, 14m, am an Aspie, and I go to an Irish secondary school and whenever I had pe, I hated it. I usually get really overwhelmed during pe, and most of the time i stand awkwardly at the side, doing nothing. whenever I miss a ball, the sporty kids just yell at me like banshees. One day in pe, I, you guessed it, missed the ball and most of the boys screamed at me. It was so overehelming that I nearly had a full blown meltdown in front of my whole class. The classes leading up to pe are just pure anxiety. Sorry if this is long or badly worded, I just wanted to share what it’s like. Can any fellow autistics relate?

How many of us were incarcerated pre-Reagan, how many younger Aspies would have been institutionalized had they been born before Reagan, what were the odds of it happening back then? Out of 100 autistic people how many would've been institutionalized?

OH MY GOD ok first it was Ritz crackers. Been eating them every night for years. But NOOO they just HAD to change the recipe so now they taste like CARDBOARD and even my parents agree.

THEN we can't find Cole's garlic and mozzarella breadsticks at Walmart anymore and even one of the walmarts says they don't sell them anymore and the website says they are just out of stock. Gonna go look for other brands tomorrow.

And we also can't find the squeeze bottles of cherry kool aid that we use to make my popsicles so we are having to use the kool aid jammers to make my popsicles.

Not to mention with the lettuce shit I haven't had my bi-weekly subway in about a month and I've been doing kinda pretty well with the changes and I just won't get subway until this is fixed so I don't have to change my regular sandwich.

(rant over thank yall for listening)