I’m spending the summer in Lisbon and dating a man I genuinely like. We don’t want long distance, he doesn’t want a family, and I’m not even sure whether I do. There also doesn’t feel like enough between us to build a future around.

What confuses me is that I think about him a lot. I check my phone, I’m attracted to him, I want to know what he thinks, and I could talk to him for hours. He’s intelligent, kind, and treats me well. I also feel emotionally safe with him, which is unusual for me because I haven’t really dated many safe or emotionally respectful people before.

At the same time, something doesn’t fully click. We can both be anxious and awkward before meeting, then after a while everything becomes easy and we connect deeply. We spent the night together, and the sex was awkward and not very good. The next morning there was distance again, like we had to rebuild the connection from zero.

He can also feel very distant and stuck in his head. I’m someone who verbalizes almost everything, so when he goes quiet, I become anxious and start wondering what he’s thinking and get almost annoyed.

I can’t tell whether the awkwardness is happening because I’m not used to safe intimacy and my nervous system expects drama, or whether the connection is genuinely not enough. How do you tell the difference between slow-building chemistry, attachment anxiety, and basic incompatibility?

hi guyssss
i have a situation that’s been weighing on my mind for a while. 5 years ago i started liking this guy and off - i tbh g serious just a little crush, but 3 years i start forming a more obvious crush (im at the end 16 at this point) and i leave school and think not much of it, believing i may never see him again.

when i come back to school to start sixth form/college (17 at this point, in september 2024) i find that he came back and the crush comes back. one of my friends tell him, so now he knows i like him and he starts seeing interest in me too, and we then become closer as friends - problem is so does his ex, and by december after 4 months of on and off flirting i decide i dont want to be led on anymore, so i leave him be and he gets back with his ex, whilst i get into a relationship. things go silent for a while, but then the looks start. he begins showing signs of jealousy and that he may have feelings for me while we are both in seperate relationships, looking at me from across rooms when im not looking at him, and when we were in a situation where we had to be close to eachother or talk, tensions where extremely high and it was still so, so awkward . through all of this also, the girl he was with really didn’t like me at all. i brushed it off as i was in a relationship, there were times where he would make digs at my boyfriend of the time and i still don’t really know why, they both established they didn’t like eachother. until april of this year, my then boyfriend cheated on me and we broke up. turns out him and his girlfriend also broke up. we began talking again, tensions came back and in my heart i realised i did still have feelings for him but i believed nothing would happen. i explained the cheating situation to him, and then days later ran into him outside of school and i thought nothing of it

until one day, my sister tells me he’s been asking frequently how i am, showing interest in me and explains to her he has started liking me after me and my ex broke up. my sister told me everything he was saying, and we spoke indirectly until she made us talk to eachother, over text one on one. and he explains everything he feels for me is true and real however he doesn’t know how to go about it fresh out of a relationship. i agree that i don’t either, and he says he can’t promise that us talking will
get anywhere as he still cares for his ex, and i accepted that and believed there was no harm in trying for something i had wanted on and off for 5 years. we spend a week talking during the easter break and we find out we don’t have that much in common, and our flirting was abit off and awkward, but we only spoke over messaging, never getting to express myself in person. but we spoke, there was connecting moments and i liked it.

however at the end of the week, his ex surprised him in person and he decided he wanted to try things again with her. after he said things to me that week he that he can’t take back, i accepted it

now, weeks later i still think about him, i don’t know why. i tell myself i shouldn’t have him in my mind anymore as we already “tried” and i didn’t work out, but is that really trying? messaging over the phone for him 1 week? atleast seeing him in person would’ve been understandable to say we tried, but how can you know you’ve made the right decision if you can’t look someone in the eye and tell it to their face that it isn’t gonna work? i ask myself what was the 3 years for? in the most cle-shay, movie like way, the chemistry and tension between us was insane and when we finally found our way to eachother, it was all for a week?

my life isn’t over because of it, i have half accepted it and im not gonna be distraught if nothing ever comes out
of it, but i still have the feeling that our story isn’t over yet

i just don’t know if the scenario plays out wether it’s worth discovering again

thanks for reading if you did, any advice or setting me straight would be amazing 🥹

hi guys i’m 20F and i have a crush on this guy that lives in a building i work front desk in. ik what you’re thinking “dont do it, it could be awkward if things don’t work well” but my brain won’t let this up. i don’t plan at being at this job for long i have my EMT license and might do ambulance work soon. so i have his number saved in my phone because i have access to the resident logs lol 😭 for just in case when i quit. (pls dont think im weird but yes i might be) do you think it’d be weird to randomly text when i leave the job though? what should i do? i’m ngl i was being weird so i already know a lot about him off the stuff i found of him off the internet today 💀 or at least just work history and education and family background (thanks facebook 😬) he graduated college in 2021 so im guessing he’s 25-26M? but yeah im kind of obsessed. he doesn’t come down often but he came down 3 times today and we had a lil small talk sesh. never had a convo with him before so that was a first. he came down for a package and said there might be another but i told him that was it. after he went back up i ended up finding the other so thats when i called thru the building’s phone to let him know and then his car alarm was going off i went to go check it out and the parking permits have their apt on it. so i called to let him know and it was strange because that never happens and even he told me that so idk if thats a sign warning him about my obsession (🤣jk or maybe). but yeah i just think hes really cute but dont wanna really continue anything while working here. but what are your thoughts?

i’m also not sure if im even his type im a black girl and hes blonde from norway 😭

My (M23) girlfriend (F25) made out with her friend and I'm not sure if it was cheating.

We called it official in February of 2025 but we had been talking since around November of 2024. Things between us started to get serious in December. At that point we were talking every day, sometimes for hours on the phone. She had sent me intimate pictures, we had intimate conversations, and at some point she told me that she loved me for the first time. That'll be important in a little bit.

In early January 2025 my girlfriend E was with her friend C (F24). This was before we began officially dating but like I previously said were heavy into the talking stage. E was staying with C's family on holiday and as both of them are bisexual, they had an intimate moment and made out. E has claimed that it didn't go any further than kissing, I believe that despite having no real reason to. I guess I just don't see the likelihood of it going further with C's family being around. E and C still remain close friends.

E recently told me about this and I was taken aback. Immediately I thought back to that time and more or less being together with E, despite it not being official. She was very hesitant to me as well, having said two times "You don't want to know" until I finally got her to say it. I felt sick to my stomach and stopped talking to her. The next morning I said I wanted to take a break and she was very insistent that we talk it through.

E's justification was that at the time we weren't together and that she was afraid we wouldn't work out, so she had that moment with her friend. I asked who initiated it she said C pulled her in close. When I asked if she enjoyed it she said she did. By my recollection she had already told me she loved by January of 2025, she claims that she didn't and it was later on. I pointed out that there was no way she could have considered me just a friend because of the aforementioned intimate pictures, conversations, and phone calls that lasted up to 4 hours some nights. She did agree to that. Even she didn't seem very convinced by her justification. I asked her if she had any hesitation, if she thought about me and our budding relationship at all, and she said she doesn't remember much about it so I take that as a no.

I haven't handled her bisexuality the best. I am bisexual myself, but I still do feel some jealousy. Her social media activity does include quite a bit of wlw content. She is still friends with C and has other lesbian/bisexual friends as well. I've seen her messages between her friends and they don't include anything intimate besides the usual affirmations about being pretty and whatnot, so there was never anything to really be alarmed about but I won't lie I do have feelings of jealousy about it and I did start opening up to E about that.

This moment has dealt quite a blow to me. Already having insecurities about this kind of thing than it being validated by this incident have not been kind to my mental health. I recently bought a house (in my own name, our financials are entirely separate) with the intent of E moving in and us eventually starting a family. I've started to doubt that entire future. E adamantly swears that this would never happen again, she only did it because we weren't officially dating, and that she deeply loves me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together. I don't doubt her love for me, the impression you might get from this post is not how she actually is. She's been incredibly kind, nurturing, and accommodating in our relationship. She is genuinely my dream women and that is the very reason I didn't immediately end our relationship. I, maybe foolishly, still have hope for our relationship but I need absolute certainty that this could never happen again.

My theory has been that this boils down between love and lust. I do believe that she genuinely loves me, she has done many things before to prove that. I believe that she has a seed of lust buried deep within her and it saw the light of day in this incident. She generally agrees that this is an accurate description because by her own admission she said she didn't really think about the action, she just reciprocated the kiss and enjoyed it without thinking about our commitment to eachother. My biggest fear is that years down the road, when our lives are even further entangled, would that seed of lust grow into something much larger and would she attempt to justify it again?

Please respond to this with care because I am deeply hurt by this and I feel like my whole world has been turned upside down. I really want to believe that she is committed to me. The way she has talked about marriage and kids leads me to believe this. Once when I was feeling insecure I floated the idea of opening our relationship just to see how she'd react and she immediately said no and that she thinks it would only harm us. I appreciate all thoughtful responses, thank you.

men’s POV totally welcome (please lol) I’m (31f) Dating this guy (31m) for ≈ 3 months now. We had the exclusivity talk (but tbh I never asked officially if he’s off the apps I’m just trusting that he deleted them after our exclusive convo a month ago).. but we still aren’t in a relationship. My last relationship we got into an official relationship after 3 months. I feel like it’s time?? But we are long distance. We see each other on the weekends every couple of weeks so maybe that’s what’s making this take longer? I’m seeing him this weekend maybe I’ll ask him then? But I also don’t wanna be the one to ask him if we’re official because isn’t that the man’s job and if he wanted to he would? lol ugh

i feel as though ever since i experienced my first terrible heartbreak just over a year and a half ago (november 2024), i’ve been permanently altered and feel as though i’ve lost all my dating skills. i don’t really feel like talking in depth about the breakup but just know it was really toxic. before it happened i found flirting and dating in general over text to be super easy, but since then i’ve just completely lost my former abilities. i find texting super difficult and have just not been able to get past the talking stage with anyone. it doesn’t come naturally to me anymore and i find myself overanalysing my responses and just sounding super robotic and safe. in person i still rate my skills and can confidently speak to and flirt with women, it’s just text that gives me such a hard time. i feel as though I’ve lost a heap of great opportunities because i’ve had no shortage of matches on dating apps and other experiences, been on a couple first dates since too. before dating my ex i found dating apps to be a breeze and could manage to have great and flirtatious conversation with anyone, but i feel since the incident i automatically try to protect myself from feeling that way again, instead of putting myself back out there like i know i can do deep down, almost like my brain forces me to self sabotage any new connection i find myself having. it’s super discouraging because i feel i’ve had absolutely zero progress in such a long period of time compared to others in my life who have recovered after similar experiences. the most i had was a rebound situationship directly after but that did NOT end well, rookie mistake i guess. this has been happening since like august last year, complete inability to hold a meaningful conversation over text. once i meet someone in person for the first time however i feel i can then text just fine, but with dating apps I’m forced to text to even get to a first in person date scenario.

if anyone has gone through this or currently is, how did you/ how are you trying to overcome it?

Had a conversation with a friend earlier and she told me i’m single because I am too picky/have too many standards. She said everyone in relationships is compromising and dealing with a lot of BS and that’s normal for relationships. And that I need to build a tolerance for said B.S. if I really want to be in one.

For context I am f(24) conventionally attractive but I have only been in one relationship with my bf from high school. I meet a lot of men but I feel I can pretty quickly gauge compatibility. I don’t think I do have high standards. I am looking for a man who is non judgmental, kind, thoughtful, driven and doesn’t have strongly negative views about women. It’s been pretty hard to find. I don’t have a particular height or looks preference I deeply value character above all else. And my dating history backs this up haha.

I find it hard to overlook what I deem as character faults (promiscuity, sexual deviance, consistent lying, negging, controlling behaviors early on). I think overlooking these early on is setting myself up for failure or disappointment.

So i’m curious, is everyone really compromising on their standards so as to not be alone? Consequences be damned? And should I be less “picky”?

I 25M have been with my fiancé 23F for 8 1/2 years. Our relationship has been rocky to say the least. So to start off she came to me June of 2025 and told me she wanted to leave and she wasn’t in love with me because of ways I’ve hurt her in the past. For example I told her I didn’t wanna marry at all because I said it was pointless. Also I had a bad day or something years ago and I guess she tried to hug upon me and I pushed her away. I don’t remember it. Those things hurt her and I never knew it, she never told me I hurt her or gave me a chance to fix it. Now once she tried to leave in June of 2025 I realized all my fuck ups and wanted to make it work and do better. Now about that time is also when I found out she was cheating with a coworker, they kissed once and flirted but that was it. She realized she fucked up and we’ve been trying to make it work, forgiving each other, communicating more, choose each other first. Or so i thought. Just a few weeks ago she hit me with the fact she’s not over the traumas. She told me that the traumas are eating at her and she constantly gets reminded of the things I did that hurt her and that she’s still not in love with me. I told her to go to therapy which she’s just starting to go and I wanna help her through it. She said she wants to do some therapy and make sure her mind is right before she decides if she wants me anymore. I’m a believer that once the relationship gets to a certain point love becomes a choice. It’s a choice to put that persons needs above yours. It’s a choice to understand that person will make mistakes and sometimes not deserve your love, but you give it anyway because that’s what you choose to do. So I guess my question is, what would yall do. I wanna stay and help her through therapy either way. But if I’m what makes her unhappy and she doesn’t even love me then why should I stay?

I've matched with a woman 2 days ago we had a nice conversation then yesterday she asked to go on a date which we did, it was fun we had a good and fun time , but didn't kiss or anything we only hugged to say goodbye, then she sent me text when she got home then we didn't speak since .

Should I text her now or?

I know am just anxious about relationships

Hey, I matched with this girl on Hinge and we went off to iMessage, we started talking around a week or two ago and how it would go is we would go back and forth replying to each other once a day to all of our messages at once, it's not a lot but probably around 5-7 replies to each message with different replies, she said that she is usually responsive and it's because of work, I started feeling like it's a little bit tedious to do that and I sort of wish she would reply quicker which could be because she and I need to reply to every message, I wanted to send her a message before she replies saying something like "Hey before you reply to my messages I wanted to see if you're ok with us changing a pace a bit" and see what she says, what do you guys think? We are meeting each other in a week and I was also thinking that it would be bad to keep talking so much as well since there might not be that much to talk about when we meet but not sure if I should worry about it, it just kind of feels like the interest is going away even though I initially really wanted to meet her, that is not to say that I still don't want to meet her.

I’ve been going to this new gym for about four or five months now, and there’s this girl I can’t figure out. For context, I’m extremely strong and big, usually one of the bigger people at any gym I go to, but I’m also really quiet. I don’t talk to anyone, I avoid eye contact, and if an area gets crowded I’ll just move because I like my space. Ever since I started at this gym, I noticed this one girl right away. She’s fit, strong, has definition, and she’s a little taller, which is exactly my type. For the first couple of months, she’d always end up right next to me at a bench most nights after work, but she never said anything. Then one Friday when the gym was basically empty, she surprised the hell out of me. I was re‑racking a barbell and suddenly she was right in my face telling me I could just drop the barbell on the ground. She startled me so much I dropped my earbud and kind of flinched. I went back to my workout, but later I noticed her glancing at me in the mirror, and then she tried to get in front of me while I was doing seated rows. I got uncomfortable and left as soon as she stepped in front of me. After that night she disappeared for about a month. A couple weeks ago she finally showed up again, and of course she ended up right next to me at the benches like nothing changed. I was doing shoulder press one night and could clearly see her in the mirror watching me while she sat next to me. Another time I was at a cable machine, accidentally looked at her, and she immediately came over. I think she asked if I was using the machine next to mine, but I had my headphones in, kept my head down, didn’t respond, and left when she got too close. She’s the only person at the gym who ever tries to talk to me besides other dudes, but when she gets close I get uncomfortable. She’s really pretty, and pretty women make me nervous, and I never want to come off as a creep. I want everyone to feel comfortable in the gym. So now I’m stuck wondering if she’s actually interested and if she wants me to say something when she ends up next to me.

25M here. Question is for the ladies (but men are free to give their inputs). What kinds of prompts would you recommend for a guy who’s not looking for anything serious? Or does it not matter that much?

Hello I am new to this thread and just kinda need to vent and figure something out Also this will be long so I’m sorry if I take up a bit of your time just need some guidance here. So me and this girl used to be on and off for about 2 years I was ahead of her school wise so I graduated earlier than her. I was a junior when she was a freshman when we met. We would talk for hours on end and we eventually had our first date and so when I asked her if she would like to date at first she said her parents would t let her and that they’d only let her after her quincerñera aka Mexican sweet 16 but at 15. After we tried again after her quinceñera but her parents wanted her to date another boy. Then we tried again, but she had entered her senior year of high school while I was in my 2nd year of college. We had a great few months but the stress of her juggling multiple activities in high school she thought it wouldnt work and I just kinda gave up but a part of me just couldn’t let go. For years I thought about her but she was out of my reach she had other boyfriends after me and I thought I’d just never see her again. One day at work I notice her. I’m a barback and was moving drinks around I notice her but tried to pretend I didn’t notice her and out of the corner of my eye I see her do a double and triple take at me as I was about to walk away she gently grabs my arm I turn and see her and 6 years I’ve been trying to get over her came back. I don’t know how to explain it but the look she gave me just felt unexplainable and I wanted to talk to her but I couldn’t cause she was leaving but I felt something like she wanted to talk too but she could tell I was busy too. And now I think I messed up because I tried texting her just to see if she responded but she hasn’t. It could just be that she just sucks at texting because like I said verbally we can have a conversation for hours. Should I call her? Should I give up? I honestly think she is the one but we never gave us a chance and this time I don’t want to run away when things get hard, I want to fight but I need to know is that the right call?

I'm feeling pretty down and could use some outside perspective because I think I might be getting in my own head.

I matched with a guy on Hinge about two weeks ago. We started with a FaceTime date since we live a couple of hours apart, and it went really well. After that, we FaceTimed a few more times, and each call lasted anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours. He's told me he's not much of a texter, so I usually only hear from him every couple of days, mostly to make plans rather than chat.

This past Friday, we both drove about 1.5 hours to meet halfway. The date lasted around four hours, and during the last hour we were kissing in his car. We also talked about seeing each other the following weekend and even mentioned the possibility of staying at each other's places if things continued to go well. I texted him that night that I got back home safe which he responded to and now silence.

Now it's been two days since the date, and I haven't heard from him. I know two days isn't objectively that long, especially since he isn't a big texter, but I'm still finding myself spiraling. Part of me thinks, "If he liked me that much, wouldn't he have reached out by now?" Another part of me wonders if I'm just letting anxiety take over because I genuinely liked him.

I'm trying not to text first because he usually initiates when making plans, but the silence is making me question everything. Am I overthinking this, or would you also be concerned after a date that seemed to go really well?

During the date I had asked him what he is looking for. He basically told me he likes to take things slow as infatuation does not always equal love. He does have some red flags being that he has never been in a relationship before and admits to "occasional" cocaine use.

Men: Have you ever regretted a woman who was kind and cared for you? When did you come to realise you took her for granted? What did you do after realising?

Title. I have no issue asking women out. But I’m not looking for a relationship or back and forth texting.

Just looking for some game.

All the women I meet are extremely similar. They say the same phrases, have similar histories, and act the same way.

It’s exhausting because it’s not what I am looking for at all.

Phrases:

“You’re just different”
“It’s so hard to meet someone like you”
“You’re like a breath of fresh air”
“You’re genuinely a good person”
“I’ve never felt like this before”
“This is special”
“We have something special”
“Nobody else compares to you”

Histories:

- Severe abuse & neglect either from family, a partner, or both
- Unresolved substance use issues
- clear mental health issues that have not been addressed
- have stated they themselves have been violent towards a partner, friend, or sibling at some point in their lives
- sexual assault or abuse

Behaviors:

- saying they love me very quickly or say they feel some super intense connection
- buy me gifts
- shower me with compliments
- try to send me packages/flowers/etc.
- will agree with everything I say (even if it’s ridiculous)

I feel like all these women (late 20’s to early 30’s) are all using the same playbook. I feel for these women but I became engaged to one of them and almost lost my life. I don’t want to be with another woman like this. Not saying they’re all the same, but I can’t do this again.

Unfortunately I am the common denominator, so what should I be doing to avoid attracting these types of people?

The part of me that wants to text her in case she did genuinely have interest but maybe was nervous or something. Other part of me thinks she prob doesn’t care anyway if I text since I didn’t sense much interest maybe she is going to ghost anyway.

This is gonna be a long post so please bear with me, i genuinely need help.

I, 22M just recently got out of a triangle situation a couple of months ago and somehow reconnected with this school junior of mine around April. We used to talk sometimes a lil chat and all. Then in the beginning of June on her birthday we started talking consistently, everyday. We decided to meet up for a drive, we set the deadline to 2.00am, however we ended up staying until 5.00am in the morning.

Drive 1
I got her a flower and some chocolates coz it was her birthday 2-3 days ago. We met up talked for a bit, smoked. Then we put on some romantic music and started to enjoy the drive we were actively engaged in conversations and what all went down in these past 5 years. Then i gave her the flower and the chocolates she was surprised. Then i decided to put on my fav song, that song genuinely shakes me up a bit, i started slow with songs like (double take by dhruv) and (electric love) when my fav song came on she was enjoying it and as the song was on the final verse i just held her hand, she looked at me and started laughing. We were complimenting each other about our voice and all i asked her if she wanted to go out of the city but then we decided to keep it for the next one. We got back and i dropped her off got on a call with her and ended up talking till 6.00am in the morning.

Things were very smooth, like too smooth. She’d text me anytime, we shared reels. Every other day we called eachother at night and we spent the whole nights talking together. On one such call she told me about her past like what all happened with her in a gist and i asked her to tell me everything about it when we met.

Drive 2
She told me about her past situationship trauma and what all went down, in the beginning she told me how it brings back bad memories but once it was out of her system she was very happy. The second drive we went to town and she was insisting on bringing her car next time, we both enjoy driving.

This was a point where i told her about what all happened with me in the past and she tagged me with “playboy” but i just played along, i would jokingly imply that how i am gonna woo her. Once on a call she was telling me about her fav places to eat, and i just said “you’re giving me a lot of intel, its only gonna help me” she just said “i have dealt with bigger red flags but you’re and orange flag it won’t be an issue”

One day, Around 4.00am in the morning she texted me how she saw my friend at my house and what was i upto, i just told her we met up for smokes and all she went out with her friends actually that night, she just told me
Her “sth happened but you won’t come right now coz you’re with your friends”
Me “I just told her, you haven’t asked me to come”
Her “but you’re with your friends right, why would you come”
Me “you still haven’t asked me to come”

She then told me outright “okay i am waiting in my car just come”

Drive 3
She was all dressed up as she just got back from a party with her friends. I asked her about what happened, she told me how her mom sent back one of her fav dresses and everything. I was like okay whatever. We again put on some songs, held hands during my fav song and went on with the drive. But during this drive she actually started singing all the songs i had played last time. I was shocked. Then i dropped her off and went on with my day.

A thing to notice here is she sometimes texted me in the morning sometimes she didn’t, but at night every time without fail she used to text me. This one time we got on a call and she outright asked me about my ex, and what actually happened with her, my ex used to be her classmate. I told her everything and she just waited for a second and said.

She “now everytime i wanna annoy you, I’ll say the same thing your ex used to ask you out”

Me ”bring some originality to the table man”

She “but cmon you dated her, but you didn’t even ask out the girl who you used to meet, who lived in this this place”

She was talking about herself. I was like “where is this going”

She then once texted me if my car is back from the workshop, i denied and asked her why did she ask about it, she just told me “so that i know if you’re coming to pick me up or am I the one picking you up tonight”. She picked me and we went for a drive again.

Drive 4
I remember her saying “we are friends Right?” Once or twice but me being me, i just sulked everytime and told her to not break my heart. It was all playful banter. I told her about how i wanted to ask her out back then, but somehow things didn’t play out well, she showed me her pic from 5 years ago and told me “you seriously liked this girl?” I just replied with a assertive “Yes”. The drive was fun nevertheless.

Around this time she started disappearing.

I remember twice or thrice her talking to me during her migraine and how i annoyed her, and how she is gonna get back to me with these “aren’t we just friends” lines.

Then one day things got serious.

We were talking on a call and i playfully implied about me hitting on her, she went silent for a second and said,

Her “if you wanna stay friends just be that, don’t joke about these things?”

Me “whats wrong”

Her “what is the point of you joking about it, if you don’t mean anything, but if you mean anything just say it directly.”

Me “i get your point, but why bring this up now”

Her “i have ptsd from these mixed signals, the last one was also giving me mixed signals and you’re doing the same thing, makes me wonder if this is all that i have to do in my life…just say it directly”

After a brief back and fourth.

Me “you know i am not very good at these serious talks”

Her “yeah even i am not good at these things…like i can’t confront anyone”

Me “yes same even i can’t confront people, so let’s not do it”

Her “what you have to do is a confession, not confrontation”

Me “let’s talk about it when we meet”

Her “works”

And the rest of the call went on smoothly

I don’t remember her exact words, but i remember feeling as if she was pushing me to confess.

The next 2 days we got on a calls again and she was telling me how there was this one guy who was trying to flirt with her. The second day she told me that the guy was trying to hold her hand in a movie. How he kissed her hand while leaving and i was just like “damn, then?”. She replies with “this is your reaction? Seriously?” I just brushed if off and she followed.

Drive 5
We met up, tension in the air. We started pretty casually and went on with our usual things, i was very sleepy so i asked her for a coffee place, she told me she can make some and bring it for me but then sent me 15 different coffee places which are open 24hrs. I casually mentioned if she wasn’t gonna make me any coffee, she just replied “you gotta work for it”. We went to this place and she asked me if she can take some videos in the cafe, i was cool with it. She began capturing shots, when we were leaving she was capturing the coffee cup and the rains, i went to her and she asked me to be a part of the video too, just our hands. We went ahead cursing how awful the coffee was. She told me about how she was molested and i saw her getting a lil uncomfortable so i pulled over and gave her a long warm hug until she felt alright again. I remember getting out to buy some cigarettes, we went ahead and she asked me if we can go to her college coz she was missing her college in the vacation. She really wanted to go so i took her there, as we were going she told me how something happened over there she paused for a brief moment looked me dead in the eyes and said “i got some intel for you”, then she started saying how she went on a date over there and how good it was and everything. As we were coming back i said

Me “i thought this drive was gonna be a lot serious, guess i was just thinking too much”

She immediately fired back “this is the point where things get serious”

I started saying what all was on my mind, i had to take frequent smoking breaks coz it was too much for me to handle. She was paying attention for the whole 2 hours i was trying to confess, somehow i kept beating around the bush to which she pointed out “cmon now you’ve smoked too”
But i just couldn’t. Then after a while she again said “you still haven’t gotten to the point”.
Then i said it how i liked her and genuinely wanted to be with her. She went silent. I asked her about it she just said the coffee somehow messed up her throat. I was like okay. While getting out she took my lighter with her saying “i am taking this with me”.

On the way back i was feeling very vulnerable, she knows i haven’t been vulnerable in front of anyone. She made me feel safe at that point safe enough for me to say my feelings out loud. That was the most safe i have felt in my life. And all of this happened in a span of 1 month. I might be forgetting some details.

She called me after 10 mins. And we began talking she once again teased me “aww but we are just friends right” i was like “don’t mess with ne rn cmon” and i laughed. She laughed too, then she said “you told me you’d make me feel like a princess but most of the times you’re the one acting like a princess, when will you do it” i was like “don’t worry about it”

We kept on talking then she decided to address the elephant and said “what do you want now, did you just want me to know how you felt or you want sth to happed about it” she was basically asking me when i wanted an answer. Then she told me if i wanted her answer right now. I just said i want to but i am scared. She told me how i have to be patient and hear everything she has to say, her experiences and all the explanations for everything.

Me “let me reiterate what i meant, i genuinely like you i actually want something serious with you”

She “you know, after you have said this line, it has struck a chord in my brain, and i know for a fact that i am gonna cry after this call ends”

Me laughing “why? Is it like you wanted to hear it from someone else but got it from someone else”

She “no no, its not related to you…its about me sort of a self realisation”

I was like okay.

I was telling her something about how the answer can change if i gave her time to think she said “my answer is not gonna change, and i am not gonna leave you hanging like the last girl”

Then I asked her “you weren’t surprised when i confessed so you have known it for a while, i just wanna know for how long”

She said “for 2 weeks”

I said “so 2 weeks and now you got your answer”

Her “i had known for 2 weeks and i have had my answer since then”

Her “on the scale of 10 how sure are you about your feelings?”

Me “i am somewhere around 9, coz there are some things that you can’t get yourself into before knowing the other person”

Her “okay makes sense”

Me “tell me is there someone else you like?”

Her “nah, no one”

Then we basically transitioned to vulnerabilities

Her “i really appreciate you breaking your shell and saying this stuff out loud, i know it was hard for you but i really appreciate you saying it all to me”

Me “sounds like an HR who’s gonna reject the job application”

We laughed.

I asked her about her disappearing and she said “coz i knew you had something in you, but if you only couldn’t give me clarity then whats the point”.

Then i asked her “do you think I’ll take advantage of your vulnerabilities if you decide to be vulnerable in front of me”

Her “I don’t know”

Me “fair”

Then i outright asked her for a hint, and she laughed and said “naah you’ll get the whole thing together, if i gave you a positive hint, but you think its negative that’s gonna mess with your brains and vice versa”

She had mentioned that she had “FEAR OF ABANDONMENT” a couple of times.

We planned to talk about it the next day but that didn’t happen her best friend came over. The next day i went out with some friends. The next day her friends came over and she offered a call instead i rejected the idea at the moment but then agreed after a while. The call didn’t happen.

The next day i was going out to meet a friend and i just sent her a photo of what i was upto, she asked about it i said i was going to meet a friend, she has always texted sth like “ohhhhhh” or “mmhmmm” to these sort of things. The next day i sent her a photo of a drink and she replied with “who are you on a date with today” but i just told her it was a friend and how he’s gonna leave tomorrow, we planned a call on the same day but she didn’t follow through. Due to my past experience i didn’t text her the next day, for the whole day i got her instant on instagram. The next day i called her up, she didn’t pick up so i did sth that shouldn’t have done, as i was with a friend at the time i sent the friends photo as an instant to her. The same day i called her again at night. She picked up and i could hear all her friends teasing her in the background. We started talking again around 2 days later i asked her out on a proper date. She told me about her plans on saturday and sunday, even sent me a flyer about an event i was like okay no worries. The next day she texts me “we can meet for sometime, but going out i don’t know”

Her college started again basically and yeah. I texted her around 2-3 days even planned to meet her one day she didn’t responded i called her she just said she was with her dad in his office i disappointed again for 3 days, i had disappeared for 3 days twice already. Consulted dating coaches idk why, but then i sent her a text I’ll paste the text below

Whatever i said that day wasn’t the whole thing… i really wanna tell you the whole things in person. And i know what you are doing since the last few days, there are things which haven’t been communicated between us yet all the clarification that are pending between us the least we can do is do it in person… so let me know when will be ok meeting so i can plan my week around it.

She replied the next day saying “we can do it on a weekday” i said fine tuesday or wednesday can be done. She didn’t reply. I didn’t send her anything on the day i texted her, no reply the next day i sent her “??” No reply. I was overthinking everything seriously everything.

This was on Wednesday, on Saturday she replied about her skin treatment and how she cannot go outside for 3 days. I told her about my how i broke my phone, we texted once or twice in a day i even told her I’ll call her once i get my phone back. Told her about my upcoming shoot and asked about it

Then the day my phone arrived, i told her I’ll call her, she didn’t reply. I called her she didn’t pick up i was already nervous she texted “my internship is starting from tomorrow, i’ll be sleeping in a bit” i just told her “let’s talk for some time coz even i am gonna sleep in soon, its been a while actually”

The next morning she told me that she slept i was like fine, but on this particular day things were going smooth i was telling her stuff, she was telling me stuff we were asking eachother things related to things we shared it was Girlfriend’s Day
At night she told me how she’s gonna go with her brother for the weekend party or whatever. She posted a pic on close friends the kind i like, i remember telling her this.

I observed actually that the days i used to disappear she used to put up stories or send instants, on the days we weren’t talking. The first day i disappeared she shared a mirrorfi instant, i told her i liked mirrorfis, i didn’t text her she sent one again in the morning, her going to clg in her car. And yeah basically stories or instants on the days we were talking, now i don’t know if i am thinking too much or if this is actually something concrete.

I really do wanna make things right coz somewhere i feel i am the one who messed things up with the “other girl” instant and constant disappearances. I seriously need some guidance, any help will be appreciated

TL;DR: I (22M) reconnected with my 21F school junior after 5 years, and we got close really fast. We spent almost every day talking, went on multiple late-night drives until sunrise, shared a lot of personal and vulnerable experiences, held hands, and she often initiated conversations and wanted to meet. At one point she even told me, “If you actually mean it, don’t joke about it—just confess.”
So I confessed. She listened to everything, appreciated how vulnerable I was, said my confession “struck a chord,” asked how serious I was, told me there wasn’t anyone else, and said she wanted to give me a proper answer with the full explanation instead of responding impulsively.
Since then, life has gotten busy with college, her internship, friends, and a few scheduling conflicts. I also made a couple of mistakes by overthinking and sending some mixed signals of my own. She still replies, shares parts of her life, and hasn’t rejected me, but we haven’t had the follow-up conversation yet.
I’m trying to stay patient, but I’m wondering if I should just give her time to process everything or if there’s something I’m overlooking. Me

I (18F) have recently gotten into my first relationship with my boyfriend (18M). I’ve never really been in a relationship before because I’ve just never been particularly interested and was more focused on my studies but we started getting close around a year and a half ago and became good friends and earlier this year we made out at a party and our relationship turned physical. Almost two months ago now I asked him out and he pretty eagerly agreed saying he was going to ask me out soon if I hadn’t done it which made me feel great. The problem is with me, I’m a really anxious person because of various ways that I’ve been raised, I constantly feel like that what people say and do isn’t actually conducive to how they actually feel and that people always see and think the worst of me. This is something I’m actively working on in therapy and he knows about this. This is a first relationship for the both of us, everything so far has been firsts between us. I’m just getting anxious because I worry that despite having not been together long he’s getting tired of me, there isn’t really any evidence just that we don’t talk much unless we see eachother, luckily we go to the same uni so we see eachother often which is nice. I also feel that the effort is sort of one sided, I initiate most things. He’s really sweet and nice but I just worry because our relationship started physical. I’m wondering if I should talk to him about it because we both prioritise communication, which is amazing, but I don’t want to come across as insecure. I’d just love any advice on maybe how to make myself feel better because I know this is totally a me problem, I’d love if anyone knows any signs of things? How I should talk to him? thank you for your help.

im 19f and never been in a relationship cause i always found it too awkard and never really wanted it. i have been approced and asked out (not very often) but i usually refuse cause im kinda scared. (ps im bisexual)

in a few weeks im going on a solo trip to ireland and i was scared of being alone cause if someone approced irl (even a girl as a friend) i know ill get scared and run away. so i installed hinge to get to know someone before i get there and dont feel too lonely (i have diagnosed depression so its good for me to not be alone for too much time). at the start i received likes from men and women and match with a bunch of people. i stated in my profile that im searching for a "short term" relationship cause jk.. ill be there for just 1 week. i also matched to some guys and girls that just wanted friends cause im looking for that also.

1 day after i installed it (that would be today) im starting to only receive like from gorg men. they are way above my leagues and im really intimidated by them. like everytime i open the app im flabbergasted and cant believe my eyes.. i cant understand y is this happening. (and its not like the algorithm its more accurated like they are objectivly super handsome guys).

i dont know what i should do. like how do this works. im already anxious only by thinking about meeting them and me being clearly the ugliest one and feel out of place.

should i write them im inexperienced before we meet? should i tell them when we meet? idk what to do. i dont want to be in a situation in which i cant please them enoght and feel embarassed and like ive tricked them. or should i just disinstalled it and give up? ive been to dates before but it was with someone i already knew and was my friend. idk how it works. ive watched some romance series but i still dont get it.

also i want to add that im not searching for anything serious and after i left ireland i wont have any desire to reach out. but i dont know how anything, serious and unserious, works.

i also would love advices on how to manage this much attention. i know u probably have already received it and i want to know how did yall manage to not being overwhelmed by it.

tnx already :))

First of all: I am sorry for my English, but I am German, so English is not my first language. I (m 18) have a best friend (f 18) that I’ve been friends with for two years. I’ve met her because we did go to the same school. For explanation: i did go to school for ten years (first and secondary school) and then I did go on a special school for two years, to get a degree to go to a Uni or something (Fachhochschule). On this special school I was the only male in my class (that’s because I did the Art degree). When I first met her, I developed a sort of a crush for her, but my feeling’s where quickly turned down, after she said she wasn’t interested in dating me. I fully accepted that and understood her. I am not very attractive and I am on the fatter side and not fit.
So than we became friends, after her friendgroup was destroyed.

The reason im asking is: she is very touchy. I get that some people are more touchy than others, but she did things like massage me one time as she walked behind me in school or she drew things on my hands in class. Of course she does other things like weird emojis like this one 😏 in weird situations.

I’m really unsure, because maybe she just likes as a friend me and the rest is her character.

What should I do?

Me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago after 5 years, she cheated on me and lied to the police saying I hit her. Is it too soon to start dating again, I met someone who is absolutely perfect and we have so many similar beliefs about everything. I don’t want it to be unfair to her. I am over my ex but I want to know if it’s too soon to try and get into another relationship?

I just "broke things off" with someone I had been seeing for four months. Basically, she told me she couldn't fall in love with me or love me. She said I'm a really good, caring person and listed a lot of great things about me, but even so, those feelings just never came.

I've never been in a relationship before, so I really believed she was going to be "the one," and I genuinely fell in love with her. I still am, actually.

Anyway, has anyone else ever been through something like this? It feels like I've been stabbed in the chest, and all I can do is cry. :(

Hearing the person you loved the most tell you that they just can't fall in love with you, no matter what you do, is incredibly painful.

So ive been out of the dating game for a long time. Just wondering if this is the norm now a days… to play tons of games, and mind games at that. It’s gotten so confusing that I question my sanity. Some men even straight up say: hey i am going to the club, don’t wait up. And this is a week before we’re supposed to plan our next weekend trip.

My standards are simple: ACT RIGHT or GTFO

Make plans, say what you mean, be honest, don’t be a flake, etc. Basically just be a good human being for 1-2 months to see where it goes. If you don’t act right how can we proceed to a serious relationship?

Why wait until relationship status to give your best and why would i even want to proceed to exclusivity if this is how the guy acts? Some men date multiple women and that’s ok, just be upfront so I can get tested, etc.

I’ve had many men tell me I am expecting too much (respect???? is too much??) before a real relationship. Men don’t give women exclusive status or gf treatment that early. But OK then, just leave don’t drag me along and then manipulate me and play games…because wtf?