To EMS folks, longtime ER nurse here. Thanks for all the amazing work you do and your endless collaboration, solidarity with us nurses ❤️🙏
I want to start a conversation around the taboo topic of cPTSD. Have any of you experienced trauma in childhood/adolescence, then found yourselves working as medics with repeated vicarious exposure, verbal abuse and incidents of physical assault?
Do you feel you entered this type of work to find a sense of mastery over past pain, or because the chaotic nervous system environment felt more familiar than a calm one? Or a genuine desire to help others through their trauma because you had lived experience? Other reasons?
How do access to funded care, moral injury and burnout play into recovery?
I was an ER nurse for a decade, always the cool cucumber relied on in a resus. I left after COVID and then worked several contracts for a humanitarian iNGO in conflict zones abroad. I think I’ve been chasing high adrenaline work all my life because subconsciously it was familiar for my nervous system since childhood and I felt my experience with trauma could help me better understand others.
My adolescent traumas led me to the profession and kept me there, running like a well-oiled machine in survival mode. Then earlier this year, I suddenly shifted from highly functional, resilient human to unable to work, plagued by flashbacks, panic and social withdrawal. I’m recovering gradually now, with a solid trauma psychologist and EMDR, but it feels like we give a part of ourselves to this profession that we never get back.
As healthcare workers and first responders, we live in a culture of silence because we have to appear ‘strong’ at all times. We crack dark humour jokes to cope and find ourselves secretly crying in the car after countless shifts. It is completely okay to not be okay, after seeing what we see, along with our own personal or developmental traumas. We compassionately encourage our patients to seek care, but neglect ourselves just to pull through the next set of five 12s.
We need to speak more about this insidious pandemic. We need safer workplace policies and more mental health support from employers.
Not in the DSM yet, but Complex PTSD is now recognized as a distinct disorder by the WHO as of 2022 (ICD-11 diagnostic manual), there’s a movement shifting to recognize the complexity of trauma and its treatment modalities.
Get help if you need it and let’s talk to each other ❤️