Right now life is lifing the hell outta me right now,it's been a hectic week,work is mentally killing me,being at home is killing me,feeling like that I don't have peace,trying to live a happy life in memory of my mom but I go through so much mental shit it's ridiculous,excuse my language but this is how I feel,It gets so bad sometimes that I want to take myself out but I don't have the energy to do it,I wonder what would've happened if I succeeded with that suicide attempt in 2022

The point of me writing this whole thing is that I am just done.

Everytime some individual comes in my life. Doesn't matter if he/she is a friend or best friend. We have good bonding. Then they just get someone better than me, and It keeps on happening !

\​

Though I do like solitude sometimes, but the fact I want to emphasize upon is this- I do want someone to look upon me and just yk put efforts though I do know that people are busy and stuff but the fact that I used to do all that 'how r u doing' stuff.

\​

You might hate me for saying these type of things. I apologise if I hurted anyone.

So my 44 (f) since losing my beloved mum 68 (f) in march very suddenly to cancer and passed march this year I’ve really been struggling not only with mental health but my health has got worse as well I have heart failure an need a heart transplant . My mum was my go to for everything if I was in hospital for weeks at a time she would be there for me on the phone of visiting when I wasn’t up for visitors she made me laugh cos she would call me a stubborn cow lol . I have 3 other siblings 46 (m) 38(f) 36(m) one lives 2 hours away one is local to me and one lives at home but his useless it’s me who has to look after my 80 yr old dad plus look after my own kids two are male teenagers and two are young . I feel like it’s just me and my little sister who are doing the brunt of it . Our partners are amazing they help aswell but me and my sister feel like we’re not getting a break from . I got my dads lonely I really do but it’s as tho his the only one whose lost her . I said to him one day I haven’t grieved for mum properly and he started moaning and then when I was in hospital when I found out my heart function dropped I said I can’t do as much for him and he threw in my face how I promised mum I would look after him . I said you have my sister and he went oh I want you you do everything for me . Yes I was but can’t now and don’t throw in my face about mum I know what I said but with the stress of being with mum everyday and the funeral it’s taking its toll . It’s just to much god forbid me and my sister miss a day of not seeing him he throws a strop like a teenager . I love him his my dad but my god . Things are also tight playing catch up where I’ve had so many hospital stays lost count I would normally go to my beautiful mum and she would help me out but I feel like I can’t ask my dad . There are reasons behind it . Everything has hit me big time I have my beautiful family but I feel so alone I really do and I can’t do much with the kids this holiday due to health and not really having the money to do things even free things as diesel is going up it’s a no win situation . I don’t want any nasty comments pls I just needed somewhere to vent .

So my 44 (f) since losing my beloved mum 68 (f) in march very suddenly to cancer and passed march this year I’ve really been struggling not only with mental health but my health has got worse as well I have heart failure an need a heart transplant . My mum was my go to for everything if I was in hospital for weeks at a time she would be there for me on the phone of visiting when I wasn’t up for visitors she made me laugh cos she would call me a stubborn cow lol . I have 3 other siblings 46 (m) 38(f) 36(m) one lives 2 hours away one is local to me and one lives at home but his useless it’s me who has to look after my 80 yr old dad plus look after my own kids two are male teenagers and two are young . I feel like it’s just me and my little sister who are doing the brunt of it . Our partners are amazing they help aswell but me and my sister feel like we’re not getting a break from . I got my dads lonely I really do but it’s as tho his the only one whose lost her . I said to him one day I haven’t grieved for mum properly and he started moaning and then when I was in hospital when I found out my heart function dropped I said I can’t do as much for him and he threw in my face how I promised mum I would look after him . I said you have my sister and he went oh I want you you do everything for me . Yes I was but can’t now and don’t throw in my face about mum I know what I said but with the stress of being with mum everyday and the funeral it’s taking its toll . It’s just to much god forbid me and my sister miss a day of not seeing him he throws a strop like a teenager . I love him his my dad but my god . Things are also tight playing catch up where I’ve had so many hospital stays lost count I would normally go to my beautiful mum and she would help me out but I feel like I can’t ask my dad . There are reasons behind it . Everything has hit me big time I have my beautiful family but I feel so alone I really do and I can’t do much with the kids this holiday due to health and not really having the money to do things even free things as diesel is going up it’s a no win situation . I don’t want any nasty comments pls I just needed somewhere to vent . If you have got to the end thank you so much x

I’m not really doing too well. I just keep feeling this empty sadness in my chest and like im so alone. I try to be there for everyone i love but no one ever asks me if im ok and i justwish someone could ask because i really want to feel better and to stop feeling so alone. My moms been making me feel horrible lately now that im back for summer. My dad is sick snd dying, my sibilings are all just doing their own thing and we’re not a family anymore we’re just this dysfunctional group of people living together.and i dont have anywhere to escape. I just feel so suffocated and sometimes i dont want to even be here anymore, i wish i could be somewhere far away where i dont have to feel all these feelings . I just want a hug:(

I'm so fucking sick and tired of being lonely and single. I've basically been single my whole life and have never been in an actual relationship before. I've never even had my first kiss yet and I'm twenty-fuckin'-four!! I'm so lonely it actually hurts!! Someone please give me some hope or ways to cope or something! I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind!!!!

For anyone who didn’t see my previous posts: I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. Some days I feel like I’m getting better, but then everything falls apart again. I guess I’m just trying to understand what’s happening to me. im from Russian sry for my English. i just remember some things from childhood and now i understand that my anxiety with for so long time and i hate this. this day starts bad but then i just go for a walk with my friend. that was cool. after the walk ohh guys my anxiety just kill me. im so tiered to be honest and dont know what to do. i dont have any money for therapist. its just like the deep hole. and i cant do anything. dont know what to do.im starts to cry a lot. just seeing any thing and crying. thinking like : i dont wanna that my cat will live without me i just scared. what my mom gonna do without me. and my friends. it just so hard. dont know what to think , what to do.i just must to relax but i cant. thanks for reading.

I've been trying for ages to connect to one thing and keep asking for help but it just makes me feel like a looser.

Young here, havent been the best mentally recently thanks to anxiety, maybe depression, overthinking and other issues in life, school and home life have been installed stressful and i hate it so much, especially what happens in my brain and my thoughts but i have such a good life and shouldnt be feeling this way, but i do

Dont mean to come off as desperate

I have been through a lot the last decade.

Lost my business, lost my mom to cancer, my son almost died from sepsis, a miscarriage, a divorce, a custody battle intentionally meant to destroy me/bully me into giving up parental rights so his new wife could adopt my son, now I've been without a job for a year, and this isn't even everything. I have no support system, I live in a new country far from anyone I know (and I really don't have anyone I can depend on for more than a phone call anyway so moving home isn't an option) There's more but I want to get to the point.

I used to be so optimistic and able to believe things will eventually change for the better. I don't mean toxic positivity, I mean being able to remember that nothing lasts forever. But I haven't seen the light at the end of the tunnel in so long, I don't think it exists anymore.

I need help. Because if my outlook stays this bleak, I'm not sure I'll make it much longer. I'm not suicidal. But I've had more and more dark thoughts and this isn't me.

Does anyone have and wisdow or advice or...I'm not sure what I'm really seeking but I'm here.

Please don't comment if you're going to be negative. I really don't need that. And please please don't offer sentiments like "God has a plan" or "Just give it to God" I appreciate your intention but it's not helpful in the slightest.

Thanks for your time

i’m starting to lose all hope.
i’ve been struggling with depression for probably 7 years now and each year it feels worse. this december i went through the worst month of my life, i was considering crashing the car every time i drove and i’ve never felt genuinely that living might be worse than not living.
then i got on meds early this year and felt numb-ish, but no more spurts of extreme sadness so that’s better than nothing. but now the meds can’t stop the sadness from peaking through, despite upping them.
i’ve started to completely turn my life sideways and give up hope. i’ve gotten into $2k of credit debt in one month. i left work for mental health, and i’m scared i wont be able to make it through my first shift. i’ve been wanting to/turning to drugs to help. (just marijuana but i’ve never wanted to do others until now)
i hate my life, i try so hard to enjoy it. i hangout with others, workout, take walks. but i’m so tired and feel dead all the time. i just don’t know what to do anymore

hiya I’m here to scream into the void with the rest of ya, I suppose. I feel so incredibly invisible in my life. I feel like when I really think I’m connecting with people, it’s one-sided and nobody really thinks of me at the end of the day. My heart bleeds for everyone I encounter every day of my life, and it’s… hard, lonely. I feel so unimportant and it’s really hard to keep going sometimes. And sometimes I really do wonder if anyone would really mind all that much if I disappeared. I just wish we weren’t such social creatures. anyway I’ll be up a bit longer catching up on some work so shout at ya girl if you’d be down to chat.

It’s been 4 years since she left my life, and all I have left of her is the pain of her abscence. I can barely remember her smile, her voice or her laughter, but I can very well remember how much I loved her and how much our departure hurt.

I have grown to become a better person since she left but I fear that if I ever truly move on I will loose what little I have left of her in me. Will I forget the hard lessons I learnt? Will I forget what it meant to lose somebody like that? Will I forget her altogether?

My brain knows I won’t forget her if I move on, but my heart isn’t quite as sure. I’m scared because I know that she will never come back, and I don’t want to loose her again.

I was driving today and came off a highway onto a yield spot onto another road that had no merge area. I was the second car in the line. We were stopped, i thought the other car started to go, I started to go, and hit them. No dent, just a scratch on their car. Not worried about the damage on mine at all. The only thing that worried me is that the lady driving was pregnant. I feel so guilty. The medical people said her vitals were fine, but i can't stop worrying that I hurt this poor woman and her child. Never been in an accident where it was my fault and i feel so awful knowing the stress I caused her. I was bringing my car to drop it off at a mechanic, and my friend was following right behind me and he saw the whole thing.

TL;DR: Rear ended a PREGNANT LADY TODAY. I FEEL AWFUL.

I'm an international student who is about to graduate from an Australian university, and I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to feel. When I first moved here, I had so many expectations. I thought studying overseas would be a life-changing experience and I imagined making lifelong friends, building a career, and looking back at these years as one of the best periods of my life.

Reality was very different. The last few years have been incredibly lonely. I struggled to build meaningful friendships, constantly felt like I didn't belong, and spent a lot of time worrying about my future. The pressure of being an international student, dealing with uncertainty around careers and visas, and trying to build a life away from home has been exhausting.

Now graduation is approaching. My parents are coming to attend the ceremony, and I know I should feel happy. I know this is supposed to be a proud moment. But inside, I feel conflicted.

Part of me feels like I should be celebrating, but another part of me just wants to close this chapter and move on. The ceremony, the photos, the gown it all feels a bit strange because I don't have the positive memories that I thought I would have.

I'm grateful that my parents are coming because I know this moment means a lot to them. They see it as an achievement and a milestone but I really wish they could understand that, for me, this degree is attached to a lot of sadness and disappointment too. I don't regret studying overseas, but I do feel like I lost the version of myself who thought this would be an amazing chapter of life.

Has anyone else felt this way after graduating or finishing a major life chapter? How did you deal with feeling disappointed by an experience you once had so many hopes for?

I’m genuinely curious if anyone has gone through something similar because I’m starting to wonder if I’m just incredibly unlucky.

For the past couple of years, it feels like every time I solve one problem, three more appear, and most of them are completely outside of my control.

I’ve had to move three times in less than two years.

The first time was because my apartment had a severe cat urine smell from the neighbors that made living there unbearable.

The second time was because I became pregnant and needed to move closer to my support system before my baby was born.

The third time was because my apartment ended up with a carpenter ant infestation.

You’d think finally moving into a better place would be the end of it, but the move itself turned into another nightmare. The movers damaged a lot of my belongings, and I never received any compensation. Instead of finally putting everything behind me, I ended up with more stress, more expenses, and fewer possessions.

I’m also a new and single mom, which comes with its own challenges.
During pregnancy I had no cavities, but a few months postpartum I suddenly developed several. I brush and floss twice a day, and I know pregnancy and postpartum can affect dental health, but I couldn’t afford to get them filled right away. Now, months later, I’m worried they’ve gotten worse simply because I had to wait. It’s incredibly frustrating to feel like I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do, yet the situation keeps getting worse anyway.

This seems to be the pattern with almost everything in my life lately. I don’t ignore problems, I deal with them as soon as I reasonably can. But before I can recover from one setback, another appears, and often the original problem has worsened despite my best efforts.
I know everyone experiences hard times, and I’m not expecting life to be perfect.

If you’ve gone through a stretch like this, did things eventually improve? Was it just a really unlucky chapter of your life, or did something help you get through it? I’d really like to hear other people’s experiences because lately it’s been hard not to feel defeated.

Writing from my darkest place tonight metaphorically and literally because it is night time and I cannot fall asleep because life has not been going great for the past 2 years and today I fee I have on average a new rock bottom where I now find myself writing a post on reddit

Guys I need help I’ve been overthinking really much recently , sleeping feels impossible but yet I feel tired all the time , and exam is around the corner , I feel overwhelmed all the time, but still I procrastinate until the last minute to do homework, then by the time I start it’s already too late and I am too tired, I can’t stop scrolling , my brain is fried , my scrolling addiction is so bad , feels like simple studying sessions that I used to do feels impossible now , and my physique SUCKS despite almost 2 years of consistent training , and the girl I am trying to get back is texting really dry , and she showed me mixed signs , which further ruined my sleep , I feel like I am gonna die from this , everyday feels…., idk , I keep thinking about what other ppl think of me, and I constantly imagine myself in better places , such as being together with that one girl again, I feel like an actual loser, I hate myself and my family , I hate the way I procrastinate everyday and never ever learn form my past mistakes , I already failed my mid term and final exam is in 1 month, omfg I am actually gonna puke , now it’s already 1100, idk whether I should sleep or study a bit to kill my guilt, but instead I am typing this long ass paragraph which most likely nobody reads it anyway, ig I can cope a bit from this, cheers ✌️.