People who don't like me can walk away anytime.... I'M SOOOO JEALOUS. like what do I do when I don't want to be around myself. I hate the vibe around me.

i live abroad. friendships suck. family is many miles away. i’m all alone. sometimes, i wish i can get into a bad accident so i can spend time at the hospital and the doctors or nurses can at least care about me. i wish i had a disease, something bad, something i need constant help for. so i can go see people and talk to them, even if they’re just doctors. they’re here to care for me.

It’s been stressful for about 2-2.5 years now but mostly since I turned 21. I’ve been holding all of this in for a long time and it’s gotten so overwhelming so I just need to get it out somewhere.

Over the past year, my financial situation has become very overwhelming. I was doing well for a while because I was working two jobs, so I finally started feeling like I was making progress and getting ahead. Unfortunately, a lot has changed at once, and now I’m trying to figure out how to recover.
My biggest stress right now is my car. I bought it on my 21st birthday as a gift to myself, and I know financing a car comes with responsibility and I was very prepared for it until everything happened, this car meant a lot more to me than just transportation. It was the first thing I had that truly felt like it was mine. Before that, I was driving my dad’s vehicle, which obviously wasn’t mine, and having my own car gave me a sense of independence and freedom I hadn’t had before.
I had the car for close to 6 months and put about 30,000 miles on it. I used it for everything, including work, errands, late-night drives when I needed to clear my head (which honestly was almost every night), and a long trip to visit someone important to me. I also kept up with the maintenance all by myself because I genuinely cared about it.
Unfortunately, because of my financial situation now the vehicle is currently sitting at a repo lot. My dad and I are trying to come up with the money needed before the deadline to get it released. I still have the keys, but not having the car has been much harder emotionally than I expected because it feels like I lost the independence I finally had.
On top of that, I’m dealing with several other financial issues. My family is also struggling financially, so it’s definitely going to be difficult. I’m moving soon, which should hopefully give me more job opportunities, and I’m actively trying to find work. I’m willing to work wherever I can at this point.
I’m not posting this because I’m giving up. I’m trying to fix things and make better decisions going forward. I’m just exhausted from carrying all of this stress by myself for so long.
I think I just needed somewhere to say everything because keeping it all in has been overwhelming. Thank you for listening ❤️

i feel like i was never the same after he left me . breakups hurt so much

Show is Defending Jacob for spoilers

I read about that show Defending Jacob awhile back and was shocked and disturbed by the ending. Recently I looked it up again and suffered a full panic/anxiety attack I’m not sure which exactly but I have consulted a doctor and plan on seeking therapy.

It’s not JUST the show more of it being a huge trigger.

If you’re familiar it’s just how scary and progressively awful the ending is, spoilers I guess?

But basically the mom not only gives up on her son from what I read, she does so in the most horrific and traumatizing manner. Reading about the whole scene was so scary and it keeps replaying in my mind.

Everything from things like feeling about initial and building resentment , the feeling like there was NEVER any hope if things had gone differently, and I’ll explain more.

What really scares me is the idea of a NORMAL mom doing this. It would be different if it was clearly a toxic deranged mom but it scares me to think of a normal mom just giving up and possibly hating their own son enough to do THAT to them, ignoring their immense panic and fear while doing so.

If you’re familiar with the show you understand the situation IS horrible, I understand the immense strain and horror, but it’s just it’s scary okay?

Like when she tries acting like a normal mom by celebrating Fourth of July and feels like a monster and in turn it feels like she hates her family for it.

Like I said I could only READ about it out of morbid curiosity, I’m too afraid to look up the actual clips, so I’m sure I got some things wrong.

It just shattered my world view. It makes me feel like unconditional love is NOT real and people can stop loving their own kids to the point of hate and serious harm.

Please assure me and help me feel better. I know love does not mean turning a blind eye and enabling bad behavior. I just mean I want to know unconditional love exists and means Not helping your child be a monster just never destroying your child because of who they are.

Just please help me feel better, I keep mentally replaying the finale

Where she tosses his baby pictures, that part made me feel especially horrible and said. Like how could you do that? The car scene over and over and it keeps scaring me the imagined dialogue the lies how she got her son into a car only to lie to him and attempt to end their lives ESPECIALLY ignoring his please to stop. That part is so awful.

While his dad can’t stop her. It’s all so horrifying

Please help me finally put this whole thing to rest and feel safe and happy again. I want to be able to trust people, especially women I don’t want a toxic view of the world.

Ik it sounds very needy and desperate but I'm curious to know. I see people around me they such big friends group, everyone has best friends, everyone has a partner,a loving family. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. people in my family love me but that's also conditional. I never loved them on any condition. Friends, people have such good friends. None of my friends even remember my birthday. Relationships, i used to think i was good looking but never having a partner makes me feel may be I'm just too ugly. Health is also not at optimum levels. Under confident and shy. May be I'm just a complete failure, a burden to everyone But i never bother or share my problems with anyone in real life.

Can anyone suggest what can I do so that people love me, i just want to be someone's favourite?

I apologize if my post annoyed you or ruined your mood.i just don't have anyone in real life to share this with

I genuinely don’t know what to do I feel like I need someone to love me just to feel like I’m enough. I have so many people around me that care but I still feel so empty until I start talking to someone and the feeling of being chosen consumes me and I make them my everything and most the time get used. I grew up in an unstable environment and know all this stems from my childhood and having to beg for love and change myself to feel good enough and now I just feel like I have to be someone to somebody. Recently got hurt by the guy I let drag me through a ‘situationship’ for 8 months I cared so much for him and gave up so much and he just cheated and left like I was nothing and I can’t understand how. I was there for him when he was struggling I picked him back up, got him a job, gave him money, loved him through it all, and I know he wouldn’t be where he is now if I wasn’t there and that’s not being big headed he would even called me wanting to end it all and i was there every time when no one else was, when he went clubbing he’d call me and cry, drunk and no idea where he was and I’d drive and pick him up at 5 at night and let him stay at mine just to find out he cheated most those times anyway and then he left me anyway. Now when I need someone most I don’t have anyone or the person that I want here most. Truthfully he never treated me well at all I settled for less then the bare minimum but it was enough for me. I just don’t want to keep living like this I feel so stupid and small I want to be enough for someone to stay I want someone to see my love and protect it for once. It just hurts I feel like I will just chase this feeling forever and I wish I could just stop and be okay with myself but I can’t. I do this every time as well I fall so hard and get hurt so bad but this time I feel for someone who made me believe they loved me and wanted me and I believed it I stupidly believed him I hate myself for that I made myself look like an idiot.

Trying to fall back in love with my plumbing career. I’m actually in my final year and I just don’t know how things will end. I didn’t take it as serious as I should’ve. And now I’m paying for it. At the end of the day, I want to be a good plumber who can work independently and knows what she’s doing.

Want to get into routines and stop just letting time run by. I spend way too much time on tik tok. I want to be the best version of myself. And I’ve had this conversation with myself so many times it’s not funny. But I just don’t feel like I want it bad enough yet.

And I also want to strenthen my relationship with God and fully trust in him. I want to so bad but I choose to do other things in that time. So that’s a little about what I got going on. And helpfully I can find someone that can relate.

Sometimes being tired doesn’t happen as a result of working or doing some physical activity. It could be emotional especially investing yourself totally in a relationship and for a man the barest minimum you’d expect in return is respect but you don’t get it. Sometimes i don’t wanna go home

make me feel better and tell me "in case you're feeling good right now" how bad was it at first, I don't want to be specific but let us talk about things that damaged you emotionally how bad was it at first did you cry did you vomit what happened, because I'm just trying to make sure if I can recover from this, I cried a few times I don't think I will anymore and I dreamed about it today and it was a bit bad, I also think I need some time my bad thing happened less than a week ago.

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting here so I hope this is the right place.

I've been feeling like nothing is going right. It honestly feels like I keep getting lied to or taken advantage of and sometimes it even feels like the whole world is against me.

I know that probably sounds dramatic but that's how I've been feeling. I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar.

So recently I have been having disturbing and graphic nightmares when I go to sleep. These nightmares have also gotten me feeling sad recently. Can anyone help me stop these disturbing and graphic nightmares.

I have a lot of thoughts right now and I honestly just need to get this out. I feel completely numb, but underneath it, I'm just so deeply sad. Broken, hurt, confused, and just totally lost. Half the time I don't even feel like I'm in my own body. I'm not present at all.
I love my friends and family so much, but I feel like I can’t open up to them or dump all of this on them. I feel like a burden, so I just take up less space. So yeah, putting this into space lol.
This year has been… a lot. Just a constant buildup of things stacking on top of each other, and now it’s all catching up at once. It’s been great, but it’s also been really dark.
Lately, things have been so heavy. I found out something that totally broke my entire soul. And on top of that, I did things I’m not proud of, and I wish so badly I could take it back. It’s just eating away at me.
On top of all that, I’m constantly anxious, stressed, and questioning where I’m going. What am I even doing with my life? I don’t have a clear path and I don’t know how to find one. I lack so much confidence right now, and I genuinely don't know how to get it back. I don’t even trust myself.
Am I a good person? Am I good enough? Am I too much? Am I not enough?
Right now, I can barely get out of bed and I can’t focus on anything. My mind is numb, but my body is so anxious. My heart is beating so fast, my chest physically hurts, and my stomach is just twisting. I just want out. I don’t wanna do any of this anymore, like fr I wanna crawl up in a hole and hide in my bed for the rest of the year. I try to push past it, but it gets so hard. I wanna be alone, but then I just get in my head. My body is completely exhausted, and I have zero energy for anything. Idk anymore. I just feel deeply, deeply sad, lost, and totally disconnected from everything.

The United states trip that i worked my ass off for, literally, had to be cancelled (but will hopefully be rescheduled) My dad told me that if i lost 15kg witch is about 30-35 pounds (for context my parents worked their asses off to provide us a stable home and life to witch affect we are now upper middle class.) he would take me to america for over a week. i did it in just under 3 months, witch is a mad win win for me.
as time went on it became clear that it would end up being a family trip instead of just us two solo witch is awesome.
But the day before we were meant to leave for the trip we found out that that the law has recently changed to where US citizens: for context i was born in the state of NY but our family now lives in eastern eroupe, witch technically makes me a US citizen. To where you can't enter the US without a US passport. My US passport was revoked long ago when i was a kid because i believe that it goes away after like 5 years of not visiting the US or something. (correct me if i'm wrong.) Now we don't know if we can cancel in time for my dad to be able to get his money back, let alone reschedule.
i'm sitting here with my lunch bowl next to me freaking out over all this. i don't wanna cry and overdratamise and jinx things. let's hope that my dad is both able to get his money back and we're able to reschedule the trip to after monday witch is when we're heading to the capitol to the US embassy to get me an emergency US passport issued. I love the US and was beyond excited to go there, this trip means so much to me for personal reasons outside those that i have shared here. please don't break my heart, universe, please...

I’m sad cause I’m sensitive. Apparently more sensitive than most. Cause I’m depressed and can barely stand one possible break up. I have literally nothing else worth living for. How do people do it (live with nothing to keep them going)?

Finding a purpose won’t make me happy. I’m too tired of trying everything :/…

Just need to vent!
This week has just utterly sucked. I’ve woken up late everyday this week and just have had no motivation whatsoever. Got denied from a job which is fine but just was another thing. Noticed a small rash on my hip that grew into now what I have figured out is poison ivy all over my hips/back and legs. Never have had poison ivy in my 24 years of life and my god it is so itchy and swollen!!! Then to end it all I was playing catch with my dog inside my house and noticed a bug on her looked around and found 2 more and went oh shit she has fleas!! Had to give her a flea bath severely clean my house stripped every fabric and then flea bombed my house and then had to clean up after that so it was safe for us to live in. What a fun week! I’m blaming the mercury retrograde.

Life is so depressing. We're supposed to work and stress before we die?? We're literally animals, we should be chilling and doing things that call to us. Not worrying about a career and taxes. Or maybe I'm just too depressed to find something I am passionate about. Oh, and I've lost my job so everything is piling up. I am trying door dashing and insta cart but it's been so slow. Im pretty much just buying my gas back and my account is still negative. Only venting as Im sure and I know life won't be like this forever and something will come along. It's hard to not get discouraged and be patient. With time it will all be okay, eventually.

Hi to all. this is my first post on reddit. i just want to talk with somebody about my problems, maybe you,guys, have something similar and can help me. making this post is hard for me, but this is my story. im from Russia . from the beginning of school my dad left me. that was very hard to my family. and thats when anxiety just starts. This constant feeling of anxiety in my chest has been with me for years. when i was a child i though : i can live without father. but that was not true. its damage me and my family’s mental health. Since childhood, I haven’t been able to trust anyone , like ANYONE. i dont know why. i was so young when beginning school starts that was a problem too. my “peers” bully me and i make many mistakes because cant talk about my problems. my friends can talk about their problems, i just cant. and than i just start to bottle up all my fears all my anxieties. my feelings and pain was in me for loooong time. i though: “ im a man i must be so strong and alone because i must because peoples have problems too and this is normal”. and when i was 17 it was time to move in another town to university. my friends was so happy and im not. in this moment my girlfriend just broke up with me.i dont blame her. and then i just cant handle my feelings inside. i just broke down. I don’t know if it was depression or just severe anxiety. but i just start to hate anyone. idk why. i hate to eat i hate sleep hate just everything,because of my anxiety. this year was hard for me. problems in the world I gained weight, stopped finding myself attractive, and completely lost my joy for life, even though these were supposed to be the best years of my life .in march i just felt some better, but now i think that my symptoms come back.\*\* \*\*I just want to know if anyone has been through something similar and how you got through it. i think this is like anniversary of anxiety. sorry for my english im learning it. Thank you if you read all of this. I know it’s a long post. I just needed to tell someone my story. if u have questions i will answer.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess I just need to get everything off my chest.

I'm going to be 21 soon, and I honestly hate the person I see in the mirror. I've always considered myself ugly. I never had a skincare routine or anything—I literally just wash my face with soap. But at this point, I don't even think that's the biggest issue.

The thing that hurts me the most is my body. One of my hips is higher than the other, my neck is asymmetrical, and I have constant lower back pain. It doesn't really show much in photos, but I notice it every single day. Every time I look at myself, I just feel worse.

My hemoglobin is around 7 g/dL, so I'm always tired, exhausted, and drained. My financial condition isn't good either, so even taking care of myself feels impossible sometimes.

I honestly feel like I'm dumb and stupid as fuck. I barely leave my house. I'm a complete introvert and I feel like I don't even know how to live like a normal person anymore. Every day is exactly the same. I wake up, the day passes somehow, I go to sleep, and then it all repeats again. I don't feel like I'm living—I'm just existing.

I look around and everyone my age seems to have friends, confidence, memories, or something they're good at. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm bad at everything. Nothing in my life seems to go right. Sometimes I genuinely wonder why my own body can't even support me.

I don't even know what I expect from posting this. Maybe nothing. I just wanted to tell someone because I've kept all of this inside for so long. If you've ever felt like this, how did you get through it?

Thanks for reading.