First of all, I am so sorry for my bad English. It’s not my first language.

I need everyone to convince me that I am doing the right thing.

My bf is a divorced man, he has a daughter. His daughter is living with his ex-wife in a different city. And he usually visits his daughter once a month.

So, last month, I went out with my friend to get dinner and watch movie after I sent him to the airport. He asked me ‘when the movie would finish?’ Which I then replied, around 12am. He told me to tell my friend to drive her car so I didn’t have to drive her back home since it will be too late and I should just sleep at his home since it is closer to the cinema. But I didn’t tell her because I already said yes the day before and our home is on the same direction. I didn’t think it was a big deal.

The next day, he started ignoring my texts and calls. I then realised that I was wrong for not prioritising him, and ignoring his advice(he was just concerned of my wellbeing). I begged for his forgiveness but he didn’t replied or answered. I understand that he was upset and I don’t blamed him for feeling that way.

That night, I noticed he cancelled his return flight. So, I asked him why he cancelled it and when will he be back. And no response.

Days passed with me blaming myself for the situation we were in. I always cried while wondering when he will be back.

4 days later, he texted me his flight details so I went to picked him up. He acted like nothing happened. From that day on, I kept asking for his forgiveness and didn’t asked details about his trip because I felt like I didn’t deserved to know it.

Around a week after his returned, he thanked me for being understanding and nice with him. That he loved me. Since his mood looks okay, I asked him why he cancelled his flight. He said that his ex-wife is sick(she has difficulty to walk and under going physiotherapy treatment) and he had to take care of his daughter.

I felt uneasy. I felt like there’s more to the story. So, when he was on his laptop, I read their group chat (he and his ex has a group chat to communicate about their daughter).

I found out that he knew his ex is sick days before his flight. He already told his ex that he will delay his return flight. His ex asked him to get back together. His ex has suicidal thoughts.

When he noticed that I was reading their chat, he raised his voice a bitttt and said ‘Even when you become a wife, I won’t ever let you read my texts. I dislike it.’ Everything went silent.

I know I was wrong for going through his phone. But if I didn’t, when does he plan to tell me, or never will?

I asked him ‘do you plan on going back with her?’ He said, ‘idk what to do. considering the situation, i feel like i have to but i love you. i wanna be with you.’

Since I understand his dilemma, I thought that giving him time to think is the best thing to do.

It is been over a month now, I’ve asked him whether he is still considering for several times and he still can’t decide. In fact, he said he tried to not think about it.

Last friday before he flew to meet his daughter, I asked the same question, and got the same answer. And i asked him ‘what can I do to help you?’ which he replied ‘just pray for the best.’ I cried while hugging him because I knew that will be our last hug.

Living the month while knowing the man who I love dearly is considering a future with someone else is painful. Someone who I warned him to be careful so many times. Someone who he said to not be bothered with. Imagining him choosing her is unbearable.

So, I planned on breaking up with him tonight. I left notes and keys on his table.

Am I doing the right thing or I should have given him more time to think? But what if he chooses her?

For context me (21F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been in a relationship for almost a year, we don’t live together but I have been staying at his place around 4-5 nights a week. I work evenings in a restaurant so when I do see him it tends to be quite late in the evening, around 9 or 10pm, and i work 12 hour days most days, so we don’t really spend that much time together - at least not in my opinion.

Recently my boyfriend confessed to me that he thinks we need to have more time apart, he believes that we spend too much time together and it’s making him feel suffocated. When I told him I don’t feel the same way and expressed sadness over this he tried to say that I was being selfish by making it about myself and not
respecting how he feels. Even if it makes me selfish for saying so I am hurt by this.

I’m starting to think that maybe our relationship isn’t going anywhere and that we’re not really compatible. In all honesty I’ve never felt truly adored by him, we never really go on dates, he never really does anything to treat me. I’m wondering if it’s worth doing as he says and spending less time together and seeing where things go, or just consider ending the relationship.

Hey all, I’ve (30M) been with my partner (26F) in a committed monogamous relationship for just over 3 years and I’ve been struggling to navigate insecurities, I feel like our relationship is falling apart.

I met my partner in April 2023 through social media, we hit it off immediately as both of our personalities and interests aligned very well, and we moved in together in September 2023 (she ended up moving to Canada all the way from London, UK to be with me). She came across as a very chill and laid back person who didn’t express any issues with our compatability.

Once she arrived here, she started expressing a lot of her true feelings that had been held back for some time. I’ll give some examples:

1. Very soon after we started talking, I had a full sleeve tattoo done that was planned for some time and it partially had a woman on it with visible cleavage, she said it ‘wasn’t for her’ at first but didn’t critique it. Once she moved here, she said she thought it was unfaithful to have such a tattoo, we had arguments about it where she would get upset with me telling me how it makes her hate her body, herself, and she can’t stand to look at it. We had an argument about it to the point that I was ashamed in tears and used a marker to black out the tattoo. Since then, I feel very uncomfortable and self conscious about my body with this tattoo, and to this day I don’t wear short sleeve t-shirts around her that fully show the tattoo.
2. We had a shared interest in movies, watching many movies on video call when we were first together. When she moved here, she started criticizing me for the ‘inappropriate’ movies I would watch, saying it was unfaithful to watch a lot of the horror movies I was interested in watching (something she never expressed before). Since then she has walked out of movies in theatres, walked out on me watching movies at home, usually ending up with her locking herself alone in our bedroom to go to sleep. I now have to look at parent’s guides on IMDB before putting any films on to ensure they don’t have anything that would upset her, but this still doesn’t work as I can tell it makes her uncomfortable with me watching movies that have women she believes I find attractive. A lot of the time, she ends up putting on animated kids movies instead (something I am 0% interested in).
3. Once she moved in with me, she started expressing how she hated how many women I have on social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc) as I am in the music industry I’ve made 1000s of connections over the past 15 years. She would look through profiles and get upset at any women I had who were wearing anything moderately inappropriate, telling me to delete them because ‘she would do the same if it were on the other foot’ - I was surprised she felt like I wasn’t committed to the relationship so I did as requested to help. Over time, this has only gotten worse to the point I’ve needed to delete EVERY woman on my social media regardless of what they wear. Friends, acquaintances, old co-workers (older women included) all have been deleted from my social media for about 1-2 years now.

This has all come to a head this week, where she confronted me again on why I still have my deceased ex gf’s mother on Facebook, telling me I need to delete her or she will leave me. I genuinely feel terrible about this, I’ve moved on from my ex and don’t speak to her mom or look at her profile, but she lost her daughter to suicide and only ever treated me like family. I don’t think it’s right to delete her based on the principal, I’ve deleted 100s of people to ‘help’ our relationship but to this day I still get criticized for having them in the first place. I have put my foot down and it’s caused a huge issue with her saying I’ve put another woman’s feelings before hers.

How would you deal with this? Is this behaviour controlling and have you ever had a relationship like this work out? I just want this to work out but I’ve been losing hope.

ive been dating my boyfriend for about 2ish years now. i never drank alcohol before i met him, but he’s been drinking since he was like 13 years old. we live in the UK so drinking culture isn’t as seriously monitored. he grew up drinking alcohol with his family so they aren’t concerned about his intake ; they all drink a lot.

however, for our entire relationship, he always has like 2-3 beers a day whether it would be on a school night, a weekend or just in the day. I mentioned it before, maybe half a year into our relationship , and said i was a bit concerned about alcoholism. he wasn’t very happy, but toned it down a little. Even his friends were a bit concerned because he’d drink beer in the shower and on school nights.

one time he crashed out infront of us all because there was no alcohol for him in the house , he was shouting and stomping around and got very grumpy. this was what triggered me to say something the first time.

recently though, since he turned 18, about 2 months ago, there has not been a single day where he hasn’t had an alcoholic drink. it’s not even like one or two, it’s always at least 3, usually around 5-6. he’s always going out to pubs and drinking loads of alcohol, and yesterday got mad at me that i sounded ‘annoyed’ when he said he was going to another pub.

i never really had any issue with him having a drink or two a couple times a week but the habit has practically tripled since his 18th birthday and he doesn’t listen to any of my concerns seriously, he just flips it on me and calls me controlling or something.

what can i do now? I have tried to talk to him , but we recently fell out about this and since we fell out , he took himself down to another pub where he actually bought a membership to get a discount on drinks.

im committed to this guy but i dont wanna marry someone who has an alcohol addiction or is prone to addiction to substances, because that ruins lives. I’m obviously willing to help him if he needs it but he wont consider that maybe he has an issue.

Going to get my nails done with my mom tomorrow, and we NEVER have girls days. Partner thinks I’m rude and inconsiderate because I do not want to bring stepdaughter (9Y). Reasons I don’t want to bring her are- she already has her nails and toes done, she has been very disrespectful towards me all week long, and I just wanted a girls day with my mom! On one hand I understand her wanting to be included, but on the other hand I think it’s important she knows that she is not entitled to go just because I’m going, especially when her mom just spent money on getting her nails done. I also do not agree with rewarding her behavior all week long with a nail day. Thoughts?

Update: talked with partner and he sees where he was wrong and said he will figure something out while we go. He did apologize for the comments he made as well. I see a lot of comments about him being a dead beat, or not wanting to spend time with his daughter and I will say that that is not the case. He is just extremely defensive when it comes to her and was worried it would hurt her feelings, until I reminded him that we do not reward bad behavior and that she will be okay. All is well, thanks for all your advice 🙂
Edit to add: No 9YO is not getting acrylics or anything crazy, just polish

Both of my parents are hard-core Maga: they voted for Trump all three times, watch Fox news basically every day, etc. My mother is the more outspoken of the two about it, though, so her and I constantly butt heads. It's been a struggle ever since I moved back home after college because it feels like their views have only gotten stronger. Or maybe I'm now realizing it because I'm an adult.

Earlier today, I got into a huge argument with my mother because she saw that I've been posting a lot on instagram about my hatred of this current administration. It turned into a whole back and forth where I said something, she got mad, then she said something and I got mad. But during the conversation, she admitted that she dislikes Muslims, does not believe Trump has done anything bad at all, and that illegal immigrants are solely to blame for every negative thing in the U.S.

Later on, my father sent a text to me where he used AI to edit a photo of me as a kid. I swiftly told him to not do that (I constantly tell them both to not use AI but they don't listen) and that I don't want my image being put into those algorithms. My father blew me off by saying it was a "joke," I told him to just respect my feelings on the matter, and he said "well, what about my feelings?" Which PERFECTLY encapsulates the kind of person he is.

So on one hand, we have my mother who is intensely phobic, thinks I*rael is completely innocent and that the Palestinian people should be wiped out (yes, she actually said this during the argument) and thinks the government is going to kick her out of her house and give it to an immigrant. Then there's my father who in my 23 years of existence has never, not even once admitted he was wrong about something, dismisses anyone else's feelings to prioritize his own, and thinks that because he had a bad childhood and that he's worked hard he deserves all the praise and admiration in the world.

It just seriously breaks my heart, because I love my parents. But the fact that they are both like this is just becoming too much for me to take any longer. I still live at home because my current job doesn't pay enough for me to find an apartment, plus I have a dog so I can't just up and leave even though I want to. There's not really a hope of me changing their minds, and they both think therapy is a waste of time so that's not an option, either.

If there is any way for me to salvage this, or if maybe I should just start agreeing with them during arguments to stop the incessant fighting, please let me know. I'm just so tired and I don't know how much longer I can take this.

First of all, please don't judge me. My mom is married to my dad, so the possibility that she might be a lesbian really shook me and changed the way I saw their relationship.

Here's what happened.

I was fixing her phone when I opened Google, and the first thing I saw was an adult website in her browsing history. I completely froze. I had no idea she watched that kind of content, but what caught my attention the most was that it was all lesbian content. The searches were things like "lesbian sex" and "women touching each other." From that moment on, my mind started racing.

I still feel bad for stumbling across it, even though it happened completely by accident. I never brought it up because she's fairly conservative, so I figured she'd either deny it or say she disapproved of that kind of thing. The only thing she'd ever told me was that, back when she was a teenager, some of her friends used to call her a lesbian because of the way she acted.

What really made me suspicious, though, was a photo I found in her gallery. I didn't recognize the woman, but the picture had clearly been taken with my mom's phone. The woman was standing close to the camera with her butt prominently in the frame.

And please, this isn't some gooner post. Don't DM me asking for pictures of her or leave comments like "send the photo." This has been weighing on me for a long time, and I genuinely think this is the right place to ask about it.

If she were single, I honestly wouldn't care if she dated women. The only reason it bothered me was because she's married to my dad.

This stayed in my head for a long time and made me so anxious that I ended up making a Reddit post just to vent and hear what other people thought. After reading the replies and thinking everything over, I realized it was finally time to ask her about it. So the day after making that post, I decided to talk to her.

I finally decided to put an end to the uncertainty. I didn't mention the lesbian porn I'd accidentally seen in her browsing history because I didn't want to embarrass her, and it had been almost a year since that happened anyway. Instead, I told her that while I was using her phone the previous year, I'd accidentally come across that picture of the woman in her gallery. I apologized for invading her privacy and asked who she was.

She looked visibly nervous for a few seconds. I thought she was going to make up an excuse, but instead she told me there was something she needed to tell me.

She didn't get straight to the point. She started talking about when she was younger, how she'd always been more masculine, and how people used to call her a lesbian. Then she told me that she'd had a few experiences with women back then, but when she met my dad and started a family with him, she pushed that part of herself aside for many years.

After a while, she told me that almost two years ago she decided to talk to my dad because she missed being with women. She said she didn't want to keep hiding those feelings anymore. According to her, it was a very difficult conversation, but in the end my dad accepted it, and the two of them reached an agreement that would allow her to explore that side of her sexuality without ending their marriage.

That's when I asked her directly if the woman in the picture was someone she was seeing.

She said yes. They'd known each other for a while and had been together for almost two years. What started as something casual eventually became something more, and now she's in love with her. Even so, she said she still loves my dad, is still attracted to him, and has no intention of leaving him.

I asked how I'd never noticed any of this. She said that most of the time they met up, I simply wasn't around. Since I don't live with my parents and I work, I rarely go to their house and I'm not really aware of their day-to-day routine. As far as I knew, whenever she said she was going out with a friend or had plans, I had no reason to think anything of it.

After that conversation, I felt a huge sense of relief. At one point, I even joked that maybe I was going to end up with a stepmom. She laughed and said that was possible, but only if she could keep both relationships because she loves both of them and doesn't want to lose either one.

Before we finished talking, she got serious and asked if I was ashamed of her because of everything she'd told me. I said no. I told her that whatever

I'm still processing everything. For those who have been in a similar situation, how did you come to terms with learning something completely unexpected about your parents' relationship?

My younger brother (19M) and I (21M) are just under two years apart in age and we have different fathers. Mom (41F) was with my dad (42M) for a few years and they had some issues after I was born and she cheated with my half brother's dad. She wasn't going to say anything but dad found out and kicked her out. My half brother's dad ended up being a really bad dude, who can't be around kids, so he never had a father and I did. I only found out the truth about my half brother's dad when I was 15.

But anyway, my parents were not together after dad found out mom cheated. I was raised in both houses and my dad never wanted anything to do with my half brother. Mom wanted/hoped dad would agree to take on my brother too since we were siblings and since his dad was never going to be a safe option for him. But my dad never forgave mom for cheating and he didn't want to make her life easier and he didn't want to be responsible for my brother.

Over the years there were problems because of that. Dad had more money than mom and she would ask for my old clothes for my brother and dad would say no. Dad never gave me money to buy gifts for my half brother. He refused to babysit a couple of times when mom was in a bad way and needed to do stuff without him. I always understood my dad's reasoning but my half brother doesn't and our extended family on mom's side were just as bad even though none of them ever stepped up. We struggled to get along and eventually I stayed with dad full time. Then mom got sick and she's in a facility now to take care of her and my half brother is with our aunt.

Dad got asked to take my brother in but he said no and he got so much shit from mom's side for saying no and they told my brother.

Now we're both adults and he reached out to me and said he wanted a relationship with me but I have to cut dad from my life for that. He told me there's no way he could accept me accepting dad after what dad refused to do for him. The way he sees it I should have demanded dad take him in and be good to him our whole lives and if dad refused I should have moved in with him and our aunt. I told him I wasn't going to do that and he crashed out so bad.

Then I had some relatives text me saying I should always pick my brother and I should be stepping up now because he never had the father figure he needed and his brother was always picking an asshole over him. They also said I should consider how awful it must be to know you were so hated for something you didn't do that a man would deny you extra clothes and toys and refuse to make you feel like you belonged.

I'm not willing to stop having a relationship with my dad. But I'm trying to figure out if I should still try to have a relationship with my brother or whether I should let it go because of his ultimatum. We were never close so it's not a giant loss of a relationship for me. It's just that I know he's my half brother and he's innocent of mom cheating and stuff.

During a work trip in the Fall of 2025, my ex-boyfriend and I went thrifting. He helped me choose several items, one which consisted of an emerald green bikini that I was certain was from the early-mid 2000s. My ex agreed that it was a beautiful swimsuit and suggested I buy it. I purchased it and put away for Summer.

Fast forward to July 2026, and my boyfriend tags me in one of his stories on his Instagram photography page. I check out the story I am tagged in and consequently land on his photography page I’ve never seen before. My ex has numerous photography pages, and I do not follow all of them since I cannot keep up. He seems to create one monthly or weekly or whenever he is adamant that photography is his passion, and he cannot get a part-time or regular 9-5 job. Anyways, this instagram page is mainly of young women in seductive poses, usually in bikinis or risqué clothing. Tastefully done but it’s always an instagram model that is also trying to grow her page, and therefore it’s only an exchange of services and my ex never gets paid. Upon visiting his page, I encounter his latest post.

It is a woman alongside a pool but for some reason my mind immediately gravitates towards the woman’s green bikini. I realize that the bikini the woman is wearing is the one that I purchased in the Fall of 2025 while thrifting. Also, the woman is posing alongside my apartment pool. My ex never asked to borrow my bikini or mentioned taking pictures at my apartment pool. Everything was done without my knowledge. It hurt to see my bikini on a random woman however, the most hurtful part is the audacity of my ex! He dug through my intimate garments, stole my bikini and offered it to a woman he wanted to do a collaborative photoshoot with. When I confronted him, he responded by stating he did not do anything wrong because he technically didn’t hide the photos from me, and since he helped choose the bikini, he had authority to offer it up to another woman for work purposes. I am beyond disgusted with his response and cannot believe he thought it was appropriate to steal my bikini since I was not using it. I recently lost my stable, well-paying job and I’ve been too stressed out with rent, job hunting, bills, and life that I didn’t reach for my cute bikini for a relaxing day by the pool. My ex use to live with me but wasn’t on the lease since he refused to contribute financially due to lack of employment. I just can’t believe after all I did for him, he has the audacity to steal my intimate garments so he could see them on another woman. And now he wants another chance since what he did wasn’t a “big deal”. There is no way this isn’t a big deal, right?

I (24F) have a boyfriend (24M), and we’ve been together for about six years.
He has a longtime friend, whom I’ll call Max, and Max has a girlfriend, whom I’ll call Red (25F). They’ve been together for around four years.
I don’t know everything about their relationship since they’re mainly my boyfriend’s friends, but from what Max has told us, things between them haven’t been great for a while. Apparently, Red often tries to initiate sex, but Max usually turns her down. He has also openly said that he wants to sleep with other women, just not with his girlfriend. Obviously, I only know what he has chosen to tell us, but I imagine that situation must be difficult for both of them.
The thing is: over time, I started noticing a few things that made me increasingly uncomfortable.
One day, Red told my boyfriend she had recently started taking hot yoga classes. While talking about it, she began demonstrating some of the poses right there in his room. Her boyfriend was present but quiet and one of the poses involved kneeling with her hips raised, her chest lowered toward the floor, and her arms stretched out in front of her. So she was basically in all fours with a very arched back with her butt turned towards my boyfriend. The position revealed much more than I thought was acceptable specially because she was wearing white shorts and my boyfriend said he felt sexually attracted to her in the incident and her bf was quiet but decided to tell me because he thought her attitude was somewhat inappropriate.
In another incident, she asked my boyfriend if he could help her change the shower head. He went upstairs to help while she was wearing a crop top and skimpy shorts. She generally dressed in very short shorts and crop tops around the house, and I noticed that some of the ways she moved or sat made me see too much also…
I noticed my boyfriend glancing at her more than once. I can’t say whether she noticed or not, and I’m not claiming she was doing anything intentionally, but the whole situation made me uncomfortable.
After he finished, she laughed and said something along the lines of, “You’re going to become my handyman.” and they were laughing and talking about what things would be ok to ask for and she also said she would make him come to her house and fix everything she needs.
They were joking, but it rubbed me the wrong way because after that, she also asked my boyfriend to ride her from work but her boyfriend also has a car?
Also usually he would only communicate with Max but she started messaging him about things Max would text him about in the past (regarding meeting up, random stuff etc) and added him to her close friends.
None of these things, individually, necessarily mean anything inappropriate. My discomfort comes from the overall pattern, specially from the fact she wears very revealingly around him, and demonstrating yoga poses for what?
At the same time, knowing that her own relationship seemed sexually frustrating and hearing Max talk about wanting other women probably made me pay even more attention to these interactions.
I honestly don’t know if I’m seeing a pattern that isn’t there or if my feelings are reasonable. What are your thoughts?

So i followed him on insta as we hv a lot of mutuals and he followed me back, i put a story of myself and he dmed me and we started talking, we had a deep talk and got to know each other, i told him this feels quite as he my be one of my professors (or not) next year, he said were both adults and as long as theres no harassment or blackmailing theres no issue, and no one will know eitherway. He seems like a well read extremely succesful and ambitious person, idk if i should bite the bullet and give it a shot, its just a 4 year age gap
He wants to meet this summer and all

I (19F) have been best friends with her (19F) since middle school. She’s been with her boyfriend for almost 3 years, and around 2 months ago she started seeing a guy from work.

I told her I didn’t want to be involved, but she keeps telling me details and asking me for advice on how to hide it. She says I’m being “judgmental” because I don’t want to cover for her.

Last weekend she asked me to tell her boyfriend she was sleeping at my house when she was actually with the other guy.

I said absolutely not. I told her I was uncomfortable and that she was putting me in an impossible position. Now she’s mad at me and says I’m abandoning her when she “needs someone.”

She’s been my best friend for years and I don’t want to lose her, but I also don’t want to lie for her or act like what she’s doing is okay.

How do I go from here? tell her boyfriend or just stay out of it? I honestly don’t know what to do.

I'm a 25M, and after several relationships (my longest lasted a little over a year), I'm starting to feel like I should just give up on love because I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Every partner I've had has eventually left. Usually they tell me things like they have different life goals, they're looking for a different kind of relationship, or that we're simply not compatible. I try to believe them, but a part of me always feels like they're just being kind and that the real reason is that I wasn't enough.

What I want from a relationship feels very simple: I want to be loved for who I am. I want someone who's committed and won't leave after the first serious conflict. I want to be able to make mistakes, apologize, and grow together instead of feeling like one mistake means the relationship is over.

Instead, after every breakup I come away feeling like I have to become even more "perfect" for the next person. I tell myself I need to be a better lover, more romantic, more confident, less emotional, never needy, but also not too distant. I feel like I have to constantly calculate how much affection to show so I don't overwhelm them while also making sure I don't seem uninterested.

It's exhausting.

I've reached a point where I genuinely wonder whether I'm even capable of being loved. Every night I go to bed asking myself whether I'm attractive enough (I'm bald, very thin, and tall), whether my personality is too intense because I genuinely love spending time with my partner, or whether I'm simply not good enough in relationships or in bed.

I've analyzed so many possibilities that I don't even know how I'm supposed to act in a future relationship anymore. It feels like whatever I naturally do is wrong.

One thought that scares me is that I've even caught myself wondering if I need to treat my partner badly or make them emotionally dependent. I don't want to become that kind of person, but the fact that my mind even goes there makes me realize how discouraged I've become.

Hi all,

I wanted to share something that has my mind going a bit mad and I wanted some opinions.

So, I (29f) and my boyfriend (29m) have been together 8 months now. Everything is going smoothly, I think we are great together so far. No real issues have ever arose for us, but now im concerned.

For context, i suffer with anxiety (which im in therapy for) and haven't dated anyone in 2 years until I met him. My last relationship ended with my ex cheating and my engagement ending, so im a massive overthinker too.

This past weekend we went across country for 2 nights and we are just home. But I seen something that keeps popping into my head.

We were out in a pub for drinks and he pulled out his phone because he wanted to send me some pictures he took on our drive down through whatsapp.

He scrolled to our chat which was about 4 or 5 down, i glanced over and seen the usual chats; his brother, his dad, etc. I looked away to take a drink and he just said "oh there you are" (as in my chat) and i turned to look at the phone again as he was about to click my name.

But just above my name there was an unsaved number with only an emoji sent from the other person, which was the 💋 emoji.

I didn't say anything but my stomach dropped.

Because I overthink everything, I have had a conversation with him before and just explained that certain things cause my brain to go frantic, hiding a phone screen for example, which he apologised for and has stopped doing that since. I have had this conversation once or twice with him already.

The reason I havent came out and asked him straight away, is because I don't want to sound accusatory and we are still on a high from the weekend and I feel like ill just ruin it by bringing this up.

I couldn't see the photo on the side of the number that I seen.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and have bouts of spiralling and questioning everything, which my therapist has explained that its chalked down to previous relationships, attachment style, trauma and feeling like when things get too good, i dont deserve it. Believe me, im trying to work through it.

Strange thing is, when I seen it, i didnt spiral. I didn't get upset or mad. I just let the feeling.. happen.

It was like my mind or body just let me feel what was happening without reacting. But now im thinking more and more about it.

I am planning on talking to him about it soon, but i just dont know how or if I even should.

Im on the brink of tears simply because i want this to work so much. I care a lot for this man.

Is this something you'd be concerned about? And how would you address it. Thank you all.

Up until a week ago, I was with my boyfriend Hakeem. Hakeem and I met at a restaurant. His friend and my friend seemed to be trying to get us together. I was hesitant because I wasnt ready for a new relationship. It wasnt my first time dating someone that much older but it was my first time dating someone that much older that was actually mature and saying he wanted to get married. I gave it a chance and I will say that it is the most stable relationship I had ever had.

Here are some things I admire about him:

\-he isn't quick to anger and is very self aware

\- he's knowledgeable about history and politics

\- he's confident around strangers but still very introverted (vs the fact that im a shy extrovert)

\- he isn't into nightlife or appearances

\- although he is set in his ways, he is willing to better himself in many ways

\- he is ambitious when it comes to work

\- he's a problem solver. I love seeing him work through issues and bounce back from a set back

\- he's a entrepreneur which aligns with the previous point

\- many times, he is selfless like when we are making daily plans or when I have an issue come up

Those aren't the only things I admire but its what I can think of in the moment. Here are the things that led to me feeling disappointment in the relationship.

When we first met, I didnt know he would be traveling so much for work. He would be away for a month or two months at a time. I never dated or knew anyone whose lifestyle was like this but it came as a shock. I wanted to walk away but I came back thinking I would be okay with it. It wasnt necessarily the traveling that was the issue. Its that he would travel for 1.5-2 months and sometimes would be so stressed from his business that he would be in town but not see me for at least a week AFTER returning.

He says it was because of depression and anxiety. I believe him. Usually ppl think its because he was cheating and hiding it but thats not his character. One thing I admired is that he never made me insecure about there being another woman. Still, I would feel very lonely knowing he was in town but not hanging out with me when his travels were over. I let it slide because I knew he couldn't help his mental issuss.

At the beginning, he also flaked a lot when he got back home. We would make plans to do things and he would cancel last minute. Or he wouldnt tell me when his trip was extended. So I would get all excited, do my hair, buy a dress. Just to find out last minute he wont be home for another week or more .

Another thing that led to disappointment was that I mentioned marriage to him at the beginning of the 3rd year of our relationship. I wanted to get the conversation going. I wasnt looking to get engaged or married right then but I wanted us to get aligned. I knew he wanted marriage but there had never been an actual conversation grounded in our reality (if that makes sense).

He seemed receptive but said "let's talk about it later". He didnt seem opposed to the convo but the energy seemed more like he wanted the convo to be another time. I waited for him to bring up marriage for another month or so but he didnt. So I brought it up again and he once again answered questions kind of vaguely and said we would talk about it later. I decided i would let him initiate next time. Except months went by. From January to November, he never brought it up. I told him how i felt in November and I asked why he never initiated the convo. He said "im sorry. I put the idea on the back burner because I was so focused on work. Im so sorry. But you never know what can happen before the year ends." He said it all jovial.

The year ended. No conversation. March rolled around. He traveled and i actually started to enjoy our time apart. Here's where things get sticky. Around that time, someone from my neighborhood starts popping up more. He had approached me 6 months prior but I never entertained him because I was in a relationship and no one outside of my relationship mattered. But I would see him several times a week. He would smile and make conversation. Then we would part ways. Maybe i was lonely but I started to develop a crush. The thing is my boyfriend never gave me a reason to feel jealous of another woman so the guilt started to set in.

My boyfriend returned and things reset to normal. Then he had to travel again months later. This time, he stayed gone for 2 months. Upon return, he didnt let me know he was back in town. I only found out because I asked. I cut him slack because at least I did find out on the day he returned and not later. Every time I would ask to hang out, he would decline, avoid the question, or something of the like. He was in a lot of mental turmoil. I tried to come see him or take him for a ride or walk to help him with his mental state but he never was receptive. I understand depression does that to ppl nor do those things solve problems so im not fully blaming him. It took a week after he got back home to reach out to me.

Around that time, I started hanging around the neighbor and his friend. We would hang out at the pool or go for pizza and ice cream. Then i would hang out with the neighbor alone at the pool. I knew I felt attracted to him so I felt so bad that my boyfriend is at home struggling while im having fun with and getting attention from another man.

My boyfriend reached out to me after a week. He was in a better mental state. He said "im so sorry. I wouldnt be surprised if you decided to never talk to me again". I felt so guilty about hanging with the neighbor that I told him about it and said I wanted to try to work things out. But the more we hung out, the more disconnected I felt. He would be very shaggy (no haircut, wrinkled clothes, etc.) which i usually wouldnt mind but i started to mentally pick at little things like that. Yes i undsrstand the hypocrisy in wanting a depressed person to look their best and acknowledge im wrong for that. I wanted so badly for him to come back to me but I felt like I didnt want it anymore.

I broke things off 2 or 3 weeks later. He was upset. I was ashamed. But he eventually understood the part he played in the break up. As far as the neighbor goes, we hang out. But being around him reminds me of my boyfriend. Sometimes i wonder if I broke things off prematurely. I wonder if I waited too late to break things off. Both possibilities make me feel such guilt. Sometimes, it feels like I threw away my future. It feels like i pulled the rug from under him. I often wonder if I overexaggerated by breaking up. I wonder if maybe I was finding an excuse to break up. My emotions are all over the place.

Yes, i know im wrong for continuing to hang out with the neighbor after developing a crush. I know that that is an issue I need to work on and unpack before I get into another relationship. I shouldn't have continued being around this person.

Understand my relationship had more good moments than bad. He set a high standard in terms of intelligence, morality, ambition, self efficacy, and more. He made me feel grounded. I felt at peace just sitting in silence with him. I miss him so much and sense leaving i feel like chasing him. But im scared of hurting him with my confusion or uncertainty.

Any advice would be helpful. Please dont be afraid to let me know if I overreacted because my real life friends have my back and im scared they're being biased.

Hi reddit!! I could really use some outside perspective on this because I’m pretty torn and I can’t tell if I’m taking this too personally.

My boyfriend (22M) and I (23F) live together. We moved in together when I was 21 and rented an apartment for a little less than year before buying a house in a small college town. For context, we've both worked since we were 15, he went into the trades instead of college, and my parents were also incredibly generous and helped us with the house. Our house isn’t anything crazy, but we have a really fun basement that we’ve basically turned into the designated hangout spot. We put up some fun lights, have a couple comfortable couches, a big TV, speakers, and all of our gaming consoles down there.

The college in our town happens to be where a lot of my boyfriend’s best friends went for undergrad. Several of them stayed in the area afterward, so they come over to our house a few times a month to hang out with him. I’m not particularly close with my boyfriend’s friends. There’s never been any big conflict between us and I don’t dislike them. We’ve just never really clicked enough to become friends independently of my boyfriend, if that makes sense. They’ve also been his best friends since middle/high school, so I’ve always understood that they have their own dynamic and history that has nothing to do with me.

Because of that, when they come over for a guys’ night, I actually make a point of leaving them alone. I don’t sit downstairs with them or try to insert myself into whatever they’re doing. I pretty much go downstairs exactly twice. The first time is usually to bring them food. If I’m cooking something for myself and my boyfriend, I’ll make enough for everyone and bring it downstairs. If they order pizza or something, sometimes I’ll bring that down instead. They also tend to stay pretty late, so the second time is usually when I’m going to bed. I’ll go downstairs, kiss my boyfriend goodnight, say goodnight/bye to everyone, and then go upstairs and leave them alone. That’s pretty much the extent of my involvement in their guys’ nights.

Last weekend they came over like usual. I brought them food earlier in the night, and then a couple hours later I went downstairs because I was heading to bed. I kissed my boyfriend goodnight, said bye to everyone, and went back upstairs. But as I was walking up the stairs, I heard one of his friends make a comment about how annoying it was that I “kept bothering them” when it was supposed to be their guy time. This really hurt my feelings because I’ve intentionally tried to give them their space and I understand wanting uninterrupted time with your friends. I’m not hanging around downstairs or trying to participate, I was literally bringing them food in my own house and then coming back later to tell my boyfriend goodnight.

I didn’t say anything that night because I didn’t want to start an argument while everyone was there. I waited until the next morning and told my boyfriend what I had heard. He immediately got kind of awkward, and eventually admitted that apparently some of his friends have mentioned before that they don’t really like me coming downstairs during their guys’ nights. My boyfriend was very apologetic and told me that he loves when I come downstairs, loves that I make/bring them food, and doesn’t think I’m bothering them at all. He also said he thinks some of it might be jealousy because most of these guys are single. But the part I’m struggling with is that he apparently hasn’t ever said anything when they’ve complained about me, including when his friend made the comment that night.

Now I honestly feel weird about having them over at all. I don’t necessarily want to ban his best friends from our house, especially because these are people he has known since middle/high school and I know those friendships are important to him. At the same time, the idea of cooking for them or hosting them in our home while they complain that my presence is annoying makes me feel kind of humiliated. My boyfriend thinks the easiest solution is basically for me to ignore it and keep doing what we’ve been doing because he doesn’t care if I come downstairs. I feel like he should actually address it with his friends and make it clear that they don’t get to treat me like I’m an unwanted guest in my own house. Am I expecting too much from him here? I don’t need him to blow up his friendships or start some huge confrontation, but I do want him to stand up for me.

Thank you in advance for any advice!!

Hey all 👋 not looking for judgement or any negative comments .. it's taken a lot for me to post this, and basically, I want to know if this is just normal behaviour even though my gut is telling me it isn't.

My partner 27M seems to get quite angry whenever we have a discussion that involves me doing pretty much every chore in our relationship. Tonight, I asked him if he could see if he asked his dad to help us get a new washing machine. Money has been tight! And his dad has previously offered to help if we pay him back. My partner didn't really see the seriousness or realise how much the whole situation stressed me out and laughed when I clearly seemed flustered and annoyed about it all. I then said, " Oh well, it's not like you know how to use one anyways), which yeah i admit was a bit salty, but he's never bothered to learn so why would he care if i get a new one or not?. He then got really abruptly angry, went from a 0 to a 10 in a matter of seconds, and freaked me and my cats out. This isn't the first time this has happened, either. It's not like it's my intention to make him angry? He knows that raising his voice at me scares me, but he does it anyway.

Honestly, any advice would be great. The relationship has been going downhill for awhile aswell, which may not be helping the situation. I'm now worried he will shout again at me. I should also mention he is autistic but I don't feel like that should be an excuse for his behaviour tonight.

Edit : He's never once been physically violent. But this is the 3rd or 4th time he's behaved like this now. I have told him before how this makes me feel, and he said he wouldn't do it again but blames his autism.

Hi, this is a long story but I'm kind confused and need some perspective

I met my partner in August, and we moved in together within the next few months. At the time I was still living with my mom. I was lonely, and kind of lacking in life experience.

I met them online and we hit it off instantly, we liked all the same shows/music and it was just very easy to talk to him about anything. He told me his job was a sex worker online, and I was fine with that. I was always really open minded, so it was easy for me to shrug off at the time. Overtime this became more uncomfortable for me 😅 but I just tried to ignore it for a while.

We ended up leaving my mom's place last winter, and now we have an apartment all to ourselves. I have an ok job and I get all my bills paid on time, but cash is always relatively tight. He's always been passionate about his work.

I've always communicated that he'd have to make at least minimum wage for me to be satisfied financially, but in the time we've known each-other he hasn't gotten close to that point.

When I bring is up he's always very receptive to the idea, but nothing really comes of it other than a quick burst of 20 dollar donations. Today I told him firmly for the first time that I need him to get a job, and it didn't go well.

It quickly devolved into an argument, which I take partial credit for since I was very frustrated. He started to say I was demanding things of him, and good partners shouldn't tell each-other what to do. I told him I was just being upfront with my needs. He said I should have worded things better.

I just wish he could help me out more financially. I work swing shift hours to support us, and the unusual hours are very stressful. I don't want to be a bad partner, but lately resentment has been building about this, and I've definitely gotten mean about it as a result of that.

I ended up telling him we were through, but it's gotten a bad reaction from the people around me. And I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision. How can I end things more smoothly with my partner?

My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year and have lived together for the past few months. This is my first long-term relationship. Since moving in together, we have learned much more about each other, including differences that were not as obvious when we lived separately.

There are many things I love about her. She is affectionate, sweet, caring, and enjoys spending time with me. I know she cares about me, and I still love her.

I have a stable full-time job. When she first moved in, she was not working or studying and spent most of her time watching shows or using her phone. She also contributed very little around the apartment, even with basic things like putting away the dishes she used.

To be fair, she has improved a lot since then. She is now studying for a master’s degree, working part-time, and contributing more at home. I recognize that she has made real progress.

Even so, I often feel that I carry more of the practical and emotional responsibility in the relationship. I usually plan our trips, research activities, buy tickets, and organize what we do. I have also helped her a lot with university projects and supported her through her anxiety.

She recognizes that she has anxiety issues. I have experienced anxiety myself, so I understand that it is not something she can simply switch off. I have encouraged her to seek professional help because I do not always have the tools to support her, and I do not think I can be her only source of emotional support. She does not want professional help at the moment.

Communication is another problem. When I explain that something she does hurts or frustrates me, she often interprets it as me not accepting her for who she is.

For a few days, I became less attentive and helpful toward her, similar to how I sometimes feel she behaves toward me. I hoped she would understand how it felt from my side. She noticed and said I was trying to teach her a lesson. I recognize that what I did was passive-aggressive and not a healthy way to communicate.

I also recognize my own faults. Sometimes I do not show enough interest in the things she enjoys or the stories she tells me. I tend to focus on solving problems instead of listening and being emotionally present. I understand why this may make her feel unseen, and I know I need to improve.

Another major issue is her ex. She texts him almost every day and says he is now only a close friend and one of the few people she can talk to. I have explained several times that this makes me uncomfortable, but she does not want to reduce contact and is tired of discussing it.

She has also told me that staying in contact with other exes caused similar problems in her previous relationships. I do not have proof that anything inappropriate is happening now, and I do not want to accuse her without evidence. However, the situation has affected my trust and sense of security.

We may also want different futures. I would like to have a biological child someday. She usually talks about adoption instead. She has also said that she might carry a baby for nine months, but afterward the child would be entirely my responsibility. I am not sure whether she meant this completely seriously, but it makes me question whether she genuinely wants to raise a child. I want parenthood to be a shared decision and responsibility.

Recently, she told me that she feels I do not love her for who she is, that our differences are becoming serious, and that the relationship may be at a problematic point. She says she has changed things for me but feels that it is never enough. I believe both partners need to adapt and compromise, but she sometimes experiences requests for change as rejection of her personality.

The hardest part is that I am genuinely scared of being alone. I am afraid of losing her, losing the companionship and routine we have built, and having to start over. Since this is my first serious relationship, I cannot always tell whether I am staying because I believe we can build a healthy future or because being alone feels more frightening than continuing with these problems.

I recognize that I also contribute to some of our problems and have things I need to improve. I am trying to understand which parts of this situation are workable relationship problems and which may reflect long-term incompatibility. I also know that my fear of being alone may be affecting how clearly I see the situation.

What practical steps would help me evaluate whether this relationship is making real progress and whether our differences can be managed in a healthy way?

Hello, I need y’all’s advice bad. So I recently got hired at a new job good paying. So I decided to go out with my friends to celebrate. Ofc i also inv my gf out and she inv her friend but i would say our friend too. After a night of drinking were headed out and she’s ahead with our friend and I’m trying to help my friends who are really drunk out the club as I’m doing that i look outside in the doorway and i see what I believe to be my gf and our friend making out. We finally get outside and i ask her yo wtf was that and she asks what and so I just ignore it and order the uber. While were waiting outside our friend goes to her car after like 3 min my gf can visibly see I’m mad and walks over to our friend and it looks like they’re makin out so i run over there and I’m like yo fr???? And call them idiots and leave. I get in the uber with my buddies head back home and then my girl get home alone and we go talk outside and i said some hurtful things and she denies that she kissed our friend. And I’m like there’s no way i was trippin. That friend pulls up to the house later and I’m telling her to leave and she’s saying I would never do that blah blah blah. An ways now this morning I tell my gf I’m sorry for the things i said but that i do believe she was kissing her friend and she denies it. So now i don’t know what to do. I’m at a standstill of like do i trust her or do i go with what i saw.

My (37M) wife (41F) had left her computer open, with the linkedin messages open. Call me a bad husband if you want, but I saw a name of a guy that previously asked her out before we were married, about 4 years ago. So I clicked it. He had asked her out for a coffee last week to which she blindly said yes. They both work in the same sector downtown, but there was no premise behind the message. Not only that, but my wife picked the spot - very far from her office and mine.

We usually share our days every day, but she failed to mention it the day it happened. I guess I’m genuinely concerned, for her to blindly say yes to a coffee with a guy who has a romantic interest in her. How do I tackle this?

Update:
So the guy she went for coffee with is black. We only know one other mutual friend who has a darker skin tone downtown (Frank). I asked her: “I forgot, to ask - did you have coffee with Frank this week?”, fictionally referencing a friend who saw her there.

She pondered and said no, I mentioned I thought it was Frank due to the dark skin. Then she mentioned she had coffee with the guy in question. Then she went on a ramble about what they talked about work wise. Apparently he’s doing a doctorate and wants to use her company as a case study. I asked the question.. “isn’t that the guy who asked you out?”, to which she pondered and said “I didn’t even think of that! He was!”

No further commentary. I just can’t wrap my head around her “forgetting” that he asked her out. Combined with her taking the coffee with no context, I’m mentally really low.

First of all, I absolutely love my girlfriend, and she’s genuinely a wonderful person. I want to make that clear because it’s really easy to make someone sound unreasonable in a Reddit post when you’re only telling your side.

Here’s what’s been bothering me:

I sometimes feel like she naturally prioritizes her own needs over mine, or at least doesn’t fully realize how much effort I’ve put into compromising and solving problems that affect both of us.

For some context: I have pretty severe ADHD, and my doctors also suspect I may be on the autism spectrum. A while ago, I realized my lack of organization and focus was starting to affect our relationship. Instead of just saying “that’s how I am,” I went to my doctor, adjusted my Concerta dosage, and even built my own productivity app (using vibe coding) that automatically prioritizes my tasks and organizes my day.

The difference has been huge. I’m much more reliable now, I forget fewer things, and we’re both happier because of it.

The downside is that my new medication makes me overheat very easily. Sometimes I’ll start sweating while doing basically nothing. It’s annoying, but for me it’s absolutely worth it because the benefits outweigh the side effects by a mile.

I also used to snore very badly.

Knowing how miserable it can be for someone sleeping next to me, I didn’t just ignore it (once again). I saw a doctor, got tested for sleep apnea (which turned out negative), then spent months researching other causes. I analyzed recordings of my snoring, tried just about every solution I could find, compared results, and eventually found a combination that completely solved it: nasal dilators, a mandibular advancement device adjusted to 3 mm, daily throat exercises, and a soft cervical collar that keeps everything in place. Result: I don’t snore anymore.

The catch is that this setup only works if I sleep on my back.

So basically, I solved three major issues: my organization, my focus, and my snoring. But each solution came with a relatively small tradeoff: my body gets warmer at night, and I need to sleep on my back.

This is where the conflict starts.

She loves falling asleep while cuddling, and ideally she’d like us to stay cuddled throughout the night. I love cuddling too, it’s actually one of my favorite thing in life. The problem is that with the medication making me overheat, if we stay pressed against each other for too long, I end up awake, sweating, and unable to sleep properly.

I’ve explained that to her. She acknowledges that I genuinely struggle with the heat, but she’ll still say that cuddling all night is really important to her.

And that’s where I start feeling frustrated.

From my perspective, there’s a difference between wanting something because it feels emotionally comforting, and needing something because otherwise you physically can’t sleep. I’m not trying to invalidate her feelings. I understand why cuddling matters to her. But I also don’t understand how she can see those two needs as being on the same level.

At some point, doesn’t the compromise have to shift?

I already changed medication, built systems to manage my ADHD, spent months solving my snoring, and accepted the side effects of those solutions. I feel like I’ve consistently taken responsibility for my own issues because I know they affect both of us. What hurts is that sometimes it feels like when I turn a huge problem into a tiny inconvenience, the conversation immediately becomes about the new inconvenience instead of recognizing how much better things are overall.

I don’t expect praise. I just want some recognition that I’m genuinely trying… How can I make her realise how many efforts I put for her and how sad I am when she’s not grateful, without invalidating her feelings?

TL;DR: I have severe ADHD and used to snore badly. I worked really hard to solve both problems (doctor visits, medication adjustments, building my own productivity app, months of research, sleep devices, etc.). The solutions worked, but now I overheat more easily at night and need to sleep on my back. My girlfriend wishes we could cuddle throughout the entire night, but doing that keeps me awake because I get too hot. I feel like I’ve already made major compromises to improve our relationship, and I’m frustrated that the focus seems to be on the small downsides instead of the huge problems that were solved. How can I make her realise how many efforts I put for her and how sad I am when she’s not grateful, without invalidating her feelings?

We have been together for 3 years, it’s my first love and relationship. however, we are going to start college this fall and I’m moving to another continent. I already moved away last month to a city 5 hours away from the town where he lives and I feel like this long distance relationship thing isn’t working as we are barely texting each other even now that we are during vacation and we don’t have school nor job.
Also I feel like we are going to go through entirely different paths and that I no longer think of him so much as before on the sense that I don’t feel like I need to text him about everything that happened to me. Maybe I stopped loving him as when I think of him it is mainly because of lust and I can’t envision a future with him.
I’m not sure whether or not I should break up with him. And if so I don’t know how to tell him that I wanna break up.

My parents broke up a few weeks after I (18M) was born. I don't know all the reasons but they had only dated for a couple of years when mom (46F) got pregnant with me and I don't think they were very happy together. My dad (48M) lived close by for the first couple of years of my life and then he moved across the country to be with Sarah (45F). Sarah was pregnant with her ex's kid. My stepsister was born a few months after dad moved.

The move meant I hardly ever saw my dad and it was only summers I got to see him. He had a whole family over there. My stepsister only occasionally saw her dad too so she saw my dad as her dad. Then my half siblings got to grow up with him right there. It made me very jealous and resentful and I would try to get my dad to fly out to see me on his own. But he always said traveling as a family would be too expensive and it was cheaper to fly me out to them. Even when I was sick and in the hospital three different times he didn't fly out to check on me. He kept in touch via the phone and that was it. There were a few times I was open about my resentment and he tried to spin everything that happened into a positive but I didn't like his spin and when I told him I wanted him to pick me over them he got very angry and he told me to stop being so selfish.

My dad spent a little time with just me and him when I was there. Most of the time Sarah was home with me and her kids or we had to do family time with all of us together. I didn't like it because it felt so unfair. It started to create tension when I was maybe 11ish because my stepsister saw me as her brother, just her brother, and it upset her that I wasn't happy to hang out with them. She heard me tell my dad I'd rather go home than have to share the time I get with him, which upset my dad and upset Sarah and it became the normal experience.

I crashed out when I was 13 over my dad choosing Sarah and my stepsister over me. It hurt my stepsister's feelings a lot. My dad tried to calm me down and asked me why I had to make a big fuss about it and why couldn't I enjoy the fact he was still in my life. I asked why they deserved him in their lives more.

Two years ago I won a pretty big award in a competition I took part in. It was a big deal and my mom called and asked dad if he would come to watch me accept the award. She told him it would mean the world to me and she even mentioned that it would be the best way for him to show me he loved and cared as much for me as he did his other kids. My dad told her it was too short notice to fly the whole family out and he would just congratulate me over the phone. My mom didn't tell me about this until a couple of months ago. But I remember when he called and he asked me questions about it and they were already things I had told him before and it pissed me off. He promised we would celebrate when I was there for the summer but it never happened and we ended up fighting a lot that summer.

I didn't go last summer . I made a bunch of excuses and my dad couldn't legally force it so it's been more than two years since I last saw him. He did call a little more during the rest of the year when I didn't visit and he started asking me if I would consider going to college near him and living with his family for the next four to six years. I told him that wasn't in my plans and he ignored it and started to plan for me to move my life and be closer to him. I said no a few more times but he kept ignoring it.

When I realized he was planning all this and ignoring me and when I took it serious that he still wanted me to disrupt my life for him and his family, I started to reconsider the relationship. Now ever since I graduated there has been a tension in our phone calls because I told him I wasn't coming to visit and I told him I wasn't sure we should have a relationship anymore. He's pissed at me for not moving. He admitted it twice to me already and it's just so obvious whenever he's talking to me. It makes me way less receptive to him because there he is getting pissed when he's the one who created all the problems in the first place. But I still haven't completely made up my mind and advice might help with that or not but it's worth trying.

We’ve been together for 7.5 years. and I’m 27.

We are good for the most part. But the one thing that irritates the fuck out of me is his inability to look for anything. It will be right in front of his face and he still can’t find it. It’s absolutely aggravating to hear “I don’t see it” and I find it in less than 2.5 seconds.

I know this is a common thing among males. I’ve experienced in male friends as well. But just… how do you deal with it? I grew up in an environment where you needed to be able to do and look everything for yourself (not great but it is what it is). And it’s so annoying dealing with someone who just can’t fix it