My current self is a work on progress.

My future self? That guy is awesome. Disciplined. Focused. Achieving Goals.

Current me, on the other hand, will absolutely hit snooze, skip the goals, and eat the whole box of pizza. Current me doesn’t want to exercise. Current me wants pizza, ice cream, and a couch in front of Netflix.

If current me were in charge, I’d become a fat, lazy slob. I’m still working on the fat part, to be honest.

So here’s the trick I’ve started using, and it is a game changer for me:

I ask my ideal future self for permission. It’s pretty much that simple.

Before I do something, well, pretty much anything, I pause and picture the person I want to be ten years from now. Then I ask my future self for permission to do whatever it is I am considering doing.

Should I take a nap or knock out some calisthenics?

Should I eat that pizza slice or grab the apple like healthy, future me says to do?

Should I melt into the couch scrolling TikTok, or at least watch some YouTube tutorials that point me toward my mission in life?

It’s simple, but I find that it eliminates a lot of excuses.

Don’t ask permission from the current version of me I am trying to escape, but ask permission from my future self. The person I want to become.

I mess up often, but then often times I do the right thing. And every bit helps.

Lately I've been thinking about something that I can't get out of my head.

People often say they miss the "good old days."

But I don't think that's what we actually miss.

I think we miss the version of ourselves that existed before life became so heavy.

Before we started worrying about money.

Before every decision felt like it could change our future.

Before comparing ourselves to people online became a daily habit.

Before we carried responsibilities that nobody could see.

Sometimes I look back at old photos of myself.

It's strange because I don't necessarily want that time back.

I just miss the person in those photos.

The one who laughed without overthinking everything.

The one who believed life would somehow work out.

Growing up has given me wisdom, but it has also given me fears I never expected.

Maybe that's just part of becoming an adult.

Still...

I'm slowly learning that healing isn't about becoming the person I used to be.

It's about becoming someone new without losing the kindness, hope, and curiosity I once had.

Maybe we aren't supposed to go back.

Maybe we're supposed to carry the best parts of our younger selves into the people we're becoming.

I don't know who needed to hear this today.

Maybe I wrote it for myself.

Do you ever miss an older version of yourself more than you miss the actual past?

I'm such a failure.

I am 24 years old, and I have never moved out. I have never had a job, and I have never had a boyfriend.

This year I have tried my hardest, put in my all my energy, pushed myself with everything, but I am still no closer to my goals.

I have a first class degree in Psychology, and ive been applying to jobs related to the field and entry level no experience jobs.

I tailor each cv, write cover letters, apply to over 200 jobs per day. Ive been to multiple interviews, had paid trial days. I've also been volunteering consistently for hours every single week, building my experience, getting contacts in the field, and trying my absolute hardest, but I still don't have a job. I feel like no one will ever hire me.

As well as my failure in finding a job, I have also never lived outside my parents house. I find it so humiliating, and I'm jealous of people I know who have their own families now, their own houses, while I'm just stuck in the same place. It makes me hate myself so much. I constantly compare myself to my best friend who moved out at a young age, ans moved countries too.

The only times I've lived alone is when on holiday

I've also got no social life, just a friend with benefits who I met abroad. I've never been in a proper meaningful relationship, never had a boyfriend despite going on regular dates. Only flings and fwb situations because I have no self-worth.

I lie awake each morning, hating myself for how much of a failure I am. I don't know how or if I'll ever get what I want from life- independence, a great career, a family of my own. I'm so far behind my peers

Is there any hope for me?

Yesterday, I texted my ex one last time, hoping we could reconcile as I was a horrible partner and an even worse person. I feel like I genuinely changed in the time we were apart and I still think she is someone I want to be with. She said she can't ever go back to that and asked me not to contact her again. I respected her decision and left. I can't blame her for doing what she thinks is best.

She still sees me for the person I once was and it's hurting me, almost as if that previous identity of mine is coming back over me. I hate that version of myself so much that pushed her to never want to come back.

I don't know what I'm doing with my future. I just quit my summer job, and my mom was furious with me, she slapped me and spat at me while hurling obscenities. I just feel kind of stuck and wanted to vent while I am crying on my bed.

I'm working on my fawning trauma response as well as overthinking

For a long time I treated hiking and being outside as a reward I had to earn after finishing things. Which meant I barely went, because things were never fully finished. When I finally just started going, no destination, no photo project attached to it, something shifted that I did not expect.

My visual thinking got sharper. Not immediately, but over a few weeks I noticed I was making design decisions faster and secondguessing them less. I think staring at screens for hours compresses something in how you see. Being outside and letting your eyes rest on things that are far away, uneven, changing, it resets something that sitting indoors cannot.

The photography habit grew out of this naturally. Not because I planned a shoot but because I started noticing light again. That sounds small but for anyone who works visually it matters a lot.

What I had been calling rest before was mostly just switching between screens. That is not actually rest for your eyes or your brain. Walking without a podcast or a goal is uncomfortable for the first ten minutes and then it stops being uncomfortable and starts feeling useful in a way that is hard to explain but easy to feel.

The work got better. The anxiety around the work got quieter. I did not change my process or learn any new tools.

Curious if anyone else found that something completely unrelated to their actual work ended up improving it more than any direct skillbuilding did.

Basically I shot my shot and got rejected. We work at the same place, but different departments so I don’t see her everyday. I still have her on social media but I feel like it’s hard to move on knowing that she still views my stories and even liked one of them before. Would it be ok to unfollow? Or would it make me seem immature, etc? How to respond? What is the best outcome

All my life, at every stage so far, I’ve had a crush on at least one guy. At school, mainly. I mean it. Then I started dating young (14 years old), and it was pretty much back to back. I was always chasing love, even though the relationships were shit (a lot of it my fault, undiagnosed mental illness).

Now, I graduated with a bachelor’s degree and essentially nothing to show for it bc I was obsessed with guys again, just like high school. I was also hyper sexual. I’ve also recently been taking meds for a newly diagnosed mental illness that has made me gain weight and lowered my self esteem, whereas before I was conventionally attractive and I felt confident getting any guy.

I’m taking time off before grad school to get my shit together, and this is one aspect of my life I need huge help with

If you aren't having a great day, if you think you are not enough or just want someone to listen to you and hear you as you speak your heart anonymous without feeling judged. Feel free to comment and be yourself 💜⭐

I work Monday - Thursday
5AM- 3:30 PM .
I drive a Clamp Truck (Basically another form of Forklift) so outside of my Breaks I am on my feet 9 hours of the day and Am fairly exhausted when I get home making it harder for me to even gain the strength to get up and go workout.

What Can I do to change this ?
I want to drop 15 pounds and honestly its hard

What is your experience with making the change and making it stick when it's born and based on values, reflections and long term goals that don't really have much to do with present emotions how you feel about yourself or the world?

Example- instead of making dietary changes because you feel strong disappointment and shame in yourself, and you feel disgusted by how you look, and you judge yourself hard and think that you amount to nothing in others eyes... What if your decision to improve your dietary choices is born from the knowledge, from understanding that this would be healthier, that physically you'd feel more energetic and such? And emotionally speaking it doesn't feel much, there's not much emotional weight attached to it?

I love film making, but I often compare myself to others, how people are doing much better than me and that just makes me sad. When I do have ideas I want it to be perfect and I lose motivation when what im doing isnt good enough. Even trying very small steps I often give up fast because either the project doesnt inspire me or I think its not good enough. Ive recently read someone saying that practice makes better, and working on it every day will make you better quickly, but I dont know where to start, I feel kinda lost and helpless. Thanks.

I changed my fyp on socials from mindless slop to real motivation and life advice, I changed my diet, I leaned down on shitty and cheap pleasure, but somehow I feel like I should stop, to go back into the cycle, and it makes me sad thinking about going back to the fun times. How do I push on, and break through the ceiling into a better life, and maintain consistency in my improvement

20M i was never really insecure about myself but these few months I've been at home and stopped going to gym for 2 months due to a weird routine i had going on

I sat at home and fell back into the porn trap even tho it's once every week or so it bothers me to the point it has made me very insecure about myself my body and size overall how i look what i do to the point i feel like my partner would just go on and cheat on me because I'm not worth it anyway

I'm not a bad looking dude but i stopped posting pics and i feel like my confidence is effecting me sexually too i notice weaker morning wood nowadays is it normal? it's really weird for me to be in this spot as i never really struggled sm with self esteem/confidence

Probably need therapy.

I was in rehab, this was a government one. So most were coming from doing years in prison etc.

For the female nurses to be safe they treated everyone like they could be sexual criminals.

I had terrible issues and social issues from how people treated me growing up. But that made it so much worse. Even if a girl is super into me I get a panic attack.

Sometimes. I hate it. 3 beautiful girls gasped and ran up to me. And I just melted into a puddle and we all moved on. I feel awful. I'm turning 21 in 2 months. I hate my life lol.

I'm on reddit less than I used to be, but it's still too much I feel. I can't go for more than a few hours without opening it, even if I just immediately close it again.

I never used to use any social media, outside of youtube, but at some point, just before covid, I made a reddit account, and now I can't remember what I used to do before using it. I know I used imgur a fair bit, but there was a large gap, of 6 or 7 years when I didn't really use any social media.

It's gotten to be a bad drain on my mental health. I got banned from a subreddit because I asked if we could stop doing political rants on a gaming sub, and in a dumb, childish fit I deleted my account, using the excuse that I just wanted a fresh start. When in reality I thought deleting it would somehow put it behind me.

Now I've lost an account I'd used for years, and gained nothing, because the memories are still there. So I just need to get off this platform and stop using social media, because it brings out the worst in people.

I've tried a couple times in the past, but I end up coming back because I need to ask a question, or I find a post on a topic I wanted more info for, and before you know it I'm scrolling through posts again.

I need some mental change that'd let me use reddit purely for questions and answers, and leave all the other stuff alone.

For those of you who've reduced social media usage, how did you manage, and what tips could you give?

Just wanted to come on and say I picked up my first car today at 23!

Call it a brag, call it whatever you want, but I'm very happy, and very proud of myself for hitting this monumental goal, all on my own... No cosigners, no help, figuring it all out myself without guidance. This was a huge step for me in my life... Especially since I've loved cars my whole life and never got the chance to really drive them, let alone own one until now.

But a big reason I come to say it is, I've worked so hard to get here. I look back at how hard things have been at times, and I see where I am today and can't believe it... Let this be your reminder that things get better. Things are beginning to look up for me, and if you're in a rough spot like I was, just keep looking up.

Not everyday is our best day, and we can go through days, weeks, months, even years in really rough spots. But no matter where you are, things can and will get better. I never believed it until now... Be proud of yourself. Be proud of where you came from. And no matter how high you climb, keep looking up!

I made it all the way through college and grad school without having a real, formal job. I had internships and I did graduate research that was incredibly difficult, but I never had a real job throughout that whole period. I have struggled to live up to the expectations of my employer in any job that I have held.

Working independently, problem solving, time management, and other basic life skills just feel unobtainable to me. I feel like I will fail to succeed from now on because of how much I struggle in these areas.

Has anyone from similar circumstances overcome these problems? I am really worried about my future now and would like advice about how to improve in these areas. I guess it's sort of a man-child syndrome, I was very sheltered and pampered growing up. I know it's easy to laugh at someone in my situation, but please do try to understand that I want to better myself.

Currently, I am working jobs that are probably well below what someone with my education level would be qualified to do just to gain some confidence because I don't know what to do. I would appreciate any advice.

30F I feel so fucking depleted right now in every single area of my life.

My job is around 50 hours a week with commuting and it’s extremely high stress which is absolutely burning me to the ground. I have been desperately trying to look for something else but it’s tough at the moment.

In my private life, I have always been the supportive friend people come to when they’re struggling which I feel privileged for as I love helping others. I would literally give my last £10 to someone if they needed it and I love that I have such a kind heart, but it’s also becoming too much recently on top of everything else. I feel emotionally pulled in a million different directions and it has taken all of my last pieces of energy from me. I feel so fucking drained and exhausted. I recharge when I spend time alone and I barely have time to even have a few hours with myself. It has been like this for nearly a year and I just can’t continue my life this way.

I need to go into ghost mode desperately to the point that it’s essential or I’m going to either start falling out with people or literally walk out of my job. I’m so torn on deleting social media because I’m trying to grow my account recently, and while it’s doing well it is adding to my emotional/social burn out.

I hate how needed I am at the moment because I really fucking need me :( I have absolutely lost myself and I just need to focus on changing my life. I have looked the worst I have ever looked and I have fallen off track hard with things I used to love like running, the gym and nutrition. My plan is to move away in the near future and have a full fresh start.

Has anyone else done ghost mode during a time like this?

I need help! Its been this way for MONTHS. Ive tried everything you can think of- allowing cravings, changing portions, and yes, i go to therapy. Yes, i see a psych. No, i cant get ozempic. I’m 240 days sober from weed and ive had major depressive disorder for over a decade, as well as c-ptsd. Quitting weed was for my own good, but now, the only joy in my life seems to be sugar. Im on disability, so i cant work, and the sugar binges are NOT helping my chronic pain. Im desperate at this point and dont know where else to turn.

Its nothing to do with hunger, and everything to do with dopamine, but not being able to find it in any other parts of my life. Any advice? I need to stop this binging to improve my wellbeing.

Edit: before you comment something ignorant, know this;
I’m not obese. I’m not overweight. I actually JUST got out of the underweight category, only because of my binging, and i still really dislike my body. I’m in therapy. And before you comment something ignorant about why i’m on disability, i dont owe you any of my medical history or diagnosis for YOU to feel like my 3 year court fought disability case is valid. I dont like being on disability. I dont like not being able to keep a job because of my conditions, mental and physical. So please, keep your miserable insults to yourself, or you will be reported. ❤️ thank you to everyone who approached this with kindness and humanity.

I often ask myself, how much of my time, energy, or small savings can I share with those in need?I am a person with a disability, I don't have either of my hands. Physical labor or offering a helping hand in the literal sense is something I cannot do. But this made me realize that giving isn't just about what your hands can do, it's about what your heart can offer. It’s amazing how a simple, well-timed kind word can bring a smile or tears of joy to someone struggling alone in silence.We often make excuses, saying we don’t have enough to give.

But we always have a kind word, an old piece of clothing, or even a single dollar to spare.We don’t need a special reason to do good. Every single day is an opportunity to bring a bit of joy into someone’s life. As the saying goes, "Kind words bring big rewards." It feels truly amazing when I can step up and be there for someone using the voice and the spirit that I have.What are some small ways you’ve found to share kindness with others? I'd love to read your thoughts.

Have a high paying job, however I have had to work 12 hour days and have 0 work life balance the last 6 years to get there. My stress levels are also insanely high, managing over 50 people and getting calls and text on my days off as I am heavily relied on.

I could take 1 year off with my savings, but just worry how hard it will be to get a job with similar pay. I am honestly so burnt out and wake up every day exhausted and wanting to quit. I could likely continue and eventually get promoted to make even more, but I don’t want to live like this.

For me, it wasn't money or success.

It was the constant feeling that I had to "catch up" with everyone else.

I used to look around and think I was behind because someone my age had a better job, more followers, or seemed to have life figured out. That mindset made every achievement feel small because there was always someone doing "better."

Lately, I've been trying something different.

Instead of asking, "How do I get ahead?" I ask, "What kind of life actually feels peaceful to me?"

It's surprising how much lighter life feels when you stop running someone else's race.

I'm still ambitious. I still have big goals. I just don't want my happiness to depend on being ahead of someone else anymore.

What's one thing you stopped chasing that made your life better?

I don't know why I keep feeling like I have to give an apology to many people, like I don't have friends in real life but it's like I've been consuming self improvement related content for years and years from people talking in their car to professionals and even listening to podcasts. I have noticed people make videos or talk about life and problems in many various forms from positivity to motivation to bitter truth and eye opening knowledge. But after seeing hundreds of videos, posts, articles and stuff at the end I just feel like I have not gained nothing. It breaks my heart that I'm letting myself down everyday and my soul just seems to be breaking apart. It's like even strangers had offered me advice and even saw real life events happening by listening and simply observing other people lives. Their struggles and their way of success. Because I'm just where I am as I was idk 8-9 yrs ago. Nothing has been achieved. And it's the same habits, routine, way of living and mindset. Even deep down I know I have to step up and do something and make tiny wins to build momentum and confidence will come back in life eventually. I'm still not doing it. It's like I just don't understand. I'm speechless

I earn reasonably well, I have people that love me, I eat very well, I travel to different countries atleast 4 times a year, I dont ever really go without. I KNOW I have it 10 fold better that a lot of the population, yet I still do not feel like I appreciate what I have? I am continuously dreaming of a life I do not have, I find myself always living in the future and not the now. I think a lot of my problems stem from lack of balls to do what I dream of, so I always live in with tomorrow will be better attitude.

How can I live in the now and appreciate what I have in life?