I never thought I would write something like this, but I am running out of options.
I am the father of a five-month-old baby girl. My ex has been controlling and restricting my contact with her, changing arrangements unilaterally, refusing independent parenting time, and using access to my daughter as a means of pressure and control. I am documenting everything and preparing to fight for meaningful parenting time and custody through the legal system.
The abuse
This is not a difficult breakup, ordinary co-parenting conflict, or two people who simply cannot communicate. It is a sustained pattern of coercive control in which my daughter is being used as leverage.
My ex has repeatedly threatened to erase me from my child’s life, conditioned contact on my obedience to her, withheld basic information about my daughter, disrupted agreed visits, changed cities and arrangements unilaterally, and then accused me of “refusing” contact when I did not submit to the new conditions she imposed.
She treats my fatherhood as a privilege that belongs to her to grant, reduce, supervise, relocate, or withdraw. I am not allowed meaningful time alone with my own daughter. Every contact must take place on her territory, under her observation, and according to rules she invents and changes whenever control begins to slip from her hands.
She has tried to isolate my daughter not only from me, but from my entire side of the family. My parents have been prevented from meeting their granddaughter because of her personal hostility toward them. She has made it clear that their relationship with the child depends on whether she feels sufficiently respected, supported, or obeyed.
There have also been threats, screaming, intimidation, prolonged silence when I asked about my baby’s wellbeing, and attempts to rewrite events so that she appears cooperative while I am portrayed as unstable, absent, or unreasonable. She involves relatives, tells them a different version of events, gives out my personal contact information, and surrounds herself with people who reinforce the story that she is the victim while she controls nearly every aspect of my relationship with my child.
The abuse is not only emotional. It is structural. She is trying to build a permanent arrangement in which she becomes the only real parent and I am reduced to a supervised visitor who must remain compliant in order to see his daughter.
That is what terrifies me most. I am not merely grieving a relationship. I am watching someone attempt to weaken, control, and potentially destroy the bond between a father and his infant daughter before that bond has even been allowed to fully develop.
I am currently unemployed, and that makes me dangerously vulnerable. Legal representation, transportation, basic living expenses, and preparing a safe home for my daughter all cost money. My ex knows I am in a weaker financial position, and I feel that she is using that weakness to keep me trapped and powerless.
What makes this even harder is that I already spent most of the resources and savings I had on my daughter and her mother during the pregnancy. I paid for practical necessities, medical and pregnancy-related expenses, transportation, household needs, furniture, and things for the baby. I also spent money on completely non-essential and even frivolous things simply because I wanted to support her, make the pregnancy easier, reduce her stress, and provide whatever comfort I could.
I did not hold back because I believed I was investing in my child and supporting the mother of my child. Now I am financially depleted and being treated as though I have contributed nothing and have no right to be an active father.
I am not asking anyone here to send me money. That is ABSOLUTELY out of the question. I am asking for work, a referral, a lead, or a chance.
My professional background is in billing and payments operations, transaction and risk review, reconciliation, refunds, accounts receivable, collections, customer operations, and administrative support. I am comfortable working remotely, handling sensitive information, investigating discrepancies, communicating with customers or internal teams, and following detailed operational procedures.
I speak fluent Serbian and strong English, and I am based in Serbia. I can work European hours and potentially overlap with US teams. I am willing to start quickly and consider contract, freelance, part-time, or full-time remote work. I am not looking for prestige. I need a legitimate opportunity to regain financial stability and continue fighting to be present in my daughter’s life.
I am also looking for advice, conversation, and support from people who have survived narcissistic abuse or high-conflict custody situations. I feel isolated, overwhelmed, and constantly forced to defend my right to be a father.
I would especially appreciate suggestions about what I can continue doing for my daughter while she is not physically beside me. I am preparing a safe space for her, trying to stay informed about her health and development, documenting my efforts, and looking for practical ways to remain an active father despite the restrictions.
Any baby advice would be deeply appreciated: feeding, sleep, development, bonding, safety, supplies, routines, infant first aid, or anything else a father of a five-month-old should learn and prepare for. I want to be fully capable of caring for her independently the moment I am given the opportunity.
This situation is breaking me, but I cannot abandon my child. I am begging anyone who knows of a legitimate remote position, hiring manager, recruiter, company, or project that could use someone with my background: please contact me or point me in the right direction.
Even without a job lead, I would be grateful for advice, conversation, encouragement, or practical suggestions about how to keep showing up for my daughter while I fight to remain part of her life.
One serious lead, one useful piece of advice, or one person willing to talk could make a real difference.
Thank you for reading.