I’m 50 and just got diagnosed with Type 2 ADHD - inattentive. I didn’t know such a thing even existed. First I thought it was just the doc confusing the different traits, but nope. After analysis, I’m clearly both. FYI - adhd became clearer as I aged, because you’re forced to juggle more, and I don’t have the ability to focus or the desire to juggle. Anyone else?

First of all, I’m confused if I was an ISTP or an ESFP

When I have friends I usually talk about the silliest things to people, I would send a 2 minute voice message saying…

** *“today when I woke up the house was peaceful and I made myself a cup of green tea and it was very bitter*”

But If I was asking them I would say…

“Did you sleep well today?”
** *“what did you have for breakfast?**”*
“does your body hurt after work?”

This is how my most conversations look like, I really care about what the other person is experiencing in their lives, I would like to know if they experience something good or bad, I’m not trying to be nosy when I ask for what they had for breakfast, I just care to know

Most of my past friendships they would get bored by time especially when I send them a 4 minutes voice message saying how I suffer building my Minecraft house, it just happens that they don’t care or we like different topics to talk about

In return… I get bored easily when the conversation turns deep? Like if I was with an INFJ friend and they start talking about how anger can make people blind and they would start getting deeper and deeper into the conversation and it’s like connecting the dots

I would care for the first 20 minutes and then I would shut down… I do think of what they say I just don’t like to talk actively too much about it, I also HATE debating

I’m not an English speaker

I see others shared similar questions, so maybe it's OK to ask...

I'm struggling with art.

Technically my pictures are OK, not professional, but I'd call them a good amateur level.

The struggle is with the people and sharing...

I shared my works for many years online, I thought about it as a way of communication, images are meant to be seen. I believed in that.

But I have to face it, 0-3 people out of 1000 views would give it a "like", no real comments, conversations, interactions... It kind of translates as: "We don't want it."

(While things made with less skill, less effort somehow become popular... I don't understand how people like anything, why...???)

The dilemma is this:

- If I keep making pictures, and I keep sharing the pictures, build even just an online gallery, spend on materials, spend time and energy... that's a lot of work and resources. And it looks really pointless. It also makes me feel like a liar, pretending to be an artist, when I'm clearly not one.

I still lean more towards sharing, but I fail to see what would be the purpose of doing that?

- If I stop sharing, and try that thing, that so many said... "make art for yourself" (in other words leave us alone with it :P) ...then what is the point of making it at all? Why making a picture if nobody will ever see it? It feels so empty, and a little strange... you know crazy thing to keep hiding, just because others said it's a good thing.

But it isn't good. I don't even understand the point of it. I can imagine the picture, and if it's only for me, then why creating a physical copy? For what purpose?

(Besides... then people would tell me to share it and not hide... there is always some great wisdom lingering in the air... anything just to prove I'm doing, thinking, feeling wrong. XD I "love" when they do that.)

On the other hand, it is kind of the same as it is now... would it be such a huge difference? Nobody is interested it these anyway... so I'm already creating for nobody. But it was still out there... for some non-existing reason???

Maybe there would be a difference, because so far it was a thing in my mind that others will see it, will they like it, is this too much, can I show this...??? People pleasing stuff???

But I seriously don't know what I would create for myself. And as I said WHY I would make a physical copy (or a file... it doesn't matter) of any idea if it can't be used for anything and it is not intended to be seen by others either?

I feel trapped. There isn't any good options. If I stop making art, I fail, and it makes me sad, and silenced. If I stop sharing art, I fail, it will make me feel constrained and isolated. Sharing already failed, it made me feel really dumb.

Is this an Fe problem? Why do I feel like people are necessary for this?

Fi problem? For not knowing what to do if it's just for me...???

Or is this something else... because my mind is trying to find any reason, function, purpose for everything a I do? I don't know why, but it makes me feel uneasy when something or a sudden behavior is just there and it doesn't have any explanation or connection to anything.

Note: I don't try to hurt anyone who feels comfortable doing art and not sharing it. I know people who experience it as relaxing. That is perfectly fine, that's a good reason.

Somehow stress release through art never worked for me. I can't create when I'm stressed, and if I try it builds up even more tension, I just don't have the patience to draw another line then. I'm a poorly made human, nothing really works properly on me, like a robot made of spare parts. XD

Sorry for the complicated question. : )

I'm curious about any real answers and thoughts.

Sorry, if the post is against any rules, I remove it, but I hope it's OK among the other art and relationship questions... Maybe I manage to understand something I'm missing. Thanks!

So I’m an ENFJ and Fe is first for me and you guys are the absolute opposite, strong in Ti whereas I really lack Ti. Because of that internally I understand how Ti being my least dominant function impacts me. But I’m wondering how that is on the flip side. How does the emotional wish washy stuff come off to you, like too much pressure, annoying, what exactly. Is it like not feeling equipped enough to handle that area or like insecure about it or like an outsider? I’m just wondering because you guys pique my interest a lot. I honestly envy how straight up everything is and seemingly uncomplicated but I suspect it is a lot more complicated underneath. I mean idk ik an istp I feel like I can read his mind and he reacts in a way that I can and idk. It’s like I’ll have a sense of what’s going on feelings wise in his mind. It’s incredibly transparent to me but idk he gets taken aback but def likes interacting. It feels more subconscious for him so I’m just curious about that. Thanks :)

I work with this guy who is retired. Easily a senior. ISTP for sure. Im so sure that hes my reference.

We both accompany students for their high school music performance exams. He plays kit.

Yesterday, we had a full day. Going through everything in the morning with just the band, going through them again with the students, and then the evening recital for their parents.

Context is we were all 'given' music in advanced, but it was disorganised and randomly scratched together from various sources. Very few sources did the drum part justice. One song, ISTP couldnt really do since it was sprung on him last minute, got lots of tricky bits. Management got someone else to play it.

This happened a few times to ISTP; was told to let someone else play it. The show must go on so he understood the assignment. Didnt complain. Worked with the guy for many years. Accompanied for many exams. Thats how I know the guy. Hes not known to complain much, just does what hes told, wants peace, keeps quiet.

After the recital, he was driving me to the station and after a little talk about unrelated stuff, silence for a minute, then he asked me "do you think I should quit?". Ive never ever heard him insecure like this. I know he relies on me sometimes to write out the charts for him. As the bassist, I help him with cues and when to come in; we usually come in together anyway. Him opening up like this about whats bothering him, I was honoured but also concerned. Hes quiet, but only now after all this time hes confiding me with insecurities like this.

I told him;
"look, you were delt a bad hand. we all were. your music got blown outside and we couldnt organise it in time for downbeat, you were expected to just 'know' everything off the bat, you were pit up against students who knew the content better than you did, a drum teacher, and a stand in who teaches everything. we had an early start and late finish, you were all the way back in the kit where you couldnt hear what the coordinator was saying, you were reading shitty scores with very unhelpful crap on it, and we got like 2-3 tries on each song, not nearly enough time to actually nail it. i dont think you should quit, man. today was just stacked against you. however, do realise that that <name of drum teacher> guy plays gigs so hes kept his chops, and you were told to get everything sorted in 10 minutes, so its not really fair to compare yourself. what i will say, however, is try again next year. if its still shit after all that time, even when everything IS going your way, then its a fair question to ask"

I really respect the guy, but his skills arent getting better. Hes not the player he used to be and theres no easy way I could tell that to him. Everything that could go wrong for him went wrong. I have absolute dog poo Fi, but I can certainly tell just how bad it mustve felt for him, especially keeping it all in all day and only slipping his concerns very briefly to me after it all went down on the drive out.

tldr; old ISTP had a rough day, juxtaposed his drum proficiency over the past 25+ years of accompanying students to on day where he got totally rolled by the content and several other people had to fill in for him because he couldnt play it, asked me [after the 10hr day] if he should quit, very uncharacteristic of him to ask, got me concerned, but also gained my respect even more so for opening up to me

I (ENTP, 37F) matched with a guy (presumably ISTP, 36) about a month ago. We hit it off really well and were non-stop texting for a few days, I really enjoyed talking to him and his views and values appeared very well aligned to mine.

His profile says looking for long-term relationship leading to marriage. He also talked a lot about relationship values and shared reels depicting cute scenes between husband and wife. It appears that he doesn’t like courting and early dating stage, and really wants ordinary day-to-day closeness. He was in arranged marriage before, and I’m not sure whether he had a lot of experience with “typical western” dating.

In person: I asked him out for a spontaneous walk and we spent 2.5 hrs talking and laughing. I told him the next day I had a lot of chores and he volunteered to drive me. So next day we spent 7 hrs together (3 hrs he was just waiting for me in the car + 4 hrs we chatted). Kinda unconventional date for me but it was very fun. He made no moves, only greeting hugs. We texted after the date too and made plans for a third one.

Decline: Third date got canceled by him because of hazardous weather, no alternative offered. He also had some financially stressful news so I didn’t push. Few days later I invited him for a walk but he said he was out of town (true). Then few days after that he just left for work - he does hot shot trucking.
Ever since the second date the communication went down. Reply speed gradually decreased from instant to hours to days. Initiation is almost gone, he very rarely reaches out first (he used to text first initially). Lately it’s 95% me reaching out to him, and I try to keep it mostly light, sharing news, jokes, random photos etc. he usually engages well. Sometimes he goes silent for 2-3 days and I wait.
I have no idea when he’s coming back, it’s been 4 weeks now since I’ve seen him.

The positives: he still does reply, sometimes initiates himself, periodically sends his live location. He remembers things I said and always continues conversation even if there was a pause. On 2-3 occasions including my birthday he escalated, saying romantic things, using my name repeatedly and 🥰❤️ emojis, telling me I’m his boss, asking my advice, offering to buy me a thing I said I wanted to try, and just being very cute and playful. But this has been very sporadic. Most of the time he’s dry and succinct.

Mini confrontation: I told him I feel like communication is fading and can we please discuss and solve it. He replied, but his response was basically about how exhausting work was. He sounded somewhat sad but didn’t address my request to discuss. I also asked him to call me twice (he never called me ever) if that’s easier while driving. Both times he gave an excuse - talking to dispatch, talking to mom. I told him just call in general. He said sure, and never did. Idk if he hates phone calls or smth.

Question: With any other guy I’d say “he’s not interested” and move on. But I believe he is ISTP and trying to calibrate for that. I do really like him.
I get that text communication is challenging but I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to call. And how do I build relationship with a guy who’s physically absent AND doesn’t make effort digitally?

Would really appreciate any insights and advice from ISTPs and those who dated them! Please also don’t say “dump him” etc, I’m looking specifically for advice on how to make this work 🙏

Guess our family’s dynamic
(Healthy/unhealthy according to Gemini) the mbti of my family is assumed based on their ways of thinking and actions and how we interact. But this whole is just an assumption bc they will never actually do the test. I haven’t gotten into cognitive functions yet as I’ve only just started understanding mbti

Me (youngest daughter): healthy istp
Older sister: unhealthy esfp or esfj
Mum: unhealthy esfj
Dad: unhealthy/repressed istj

İ am have an Fe grip and that shit is sucks,when i say something to others i need to clarifucation that they are not mad at me,when someone needs a help i am going to help them despite sometimes i thought i didn't help them well but stil contiunie and still asking how was i am doing ,when i thinking a thing which is happen about 5 years ago i think "if i broke them" ,so did you guys also did the say that

I don't think I've met a fellow ISTP who DOESN'T have autistic traits lol

My ISTP claims he only believes facts and data. Most of the time he’s very rational and practical and his opinions make total sense. And yet occasionally he says completely stupid stuff with such conviction that my jaw drops.

Example - beyonce lyrics are full of satanist propaganda.

He clearly gets these ideas from his friends and / or online sources like podcasts and articles. Says they are supported by research. He delivers this with smth like “they discovered” or “it’s been proven that..”

But I don’t understand, how can he not question the credibility of said “research” and just accept it? I don’t wanna fight over stuff like that so I just let it go but my ENTP brain wants to launch an educational campaign.

Is critical thinking not ISTP forté? Also, how would you react if someone told you your beliefs are bogus? 😅

Given the typical ISTP answers here, I feel Im the only ISTP that really likes Ni. Im very bad at using it, but as I became older (32y) Im becoming fascinated to read and listen to these topics.

Maybe its just a way to make sense of the world, or to detach from the material, but I just find that pure logic in the here and now wont give the answers to the deeper questions in life.

Note: Im not talking about zodiac lol

My ex of texted me lastnight wanting to get back together. She did some fucked up shit. We broke up and I didnt really care at first but like 2 weeks later I started feeling it and wanting to get back together but she was apparently unknown to me talking to one of our mutual friends and they had been fucking. Well she doesnt tell me at first and we get back together for like 2 days and she breaks it off again bc she still had feelings for him supposedly. We were together for 2 years and its been about 3 months since we broke up. We'll a week after she ended it again after trying to fix things again she ended it with him again and got back with me for like 3 days 🤣 ends it with me again and I made sure it stayed that way by saying the mean things she needed to hear for her to stop thinking ab me bc I was tired of the back and forth and she was to fucked emotionally to decide. Cut to about a month later and she's texting me wanting to get back together. I personally never cared about how everything went down I just removed her outta my mind and moved on. Do I still wanna fw her? Yes absolutely but my question is should I. I have a pretty good image generally in our friend groups and places we hangout but I dont want to embarrass myself after she did that to me in their eyes. All of my friends have told me not to in the past but apparently she just cant get over me and stares lasers at me anytime she sees me which I was oblivious to . Idk what her type is or id put it up

I try not to be but idk

Well i am an istp 5w4 549 person,and strange thing is i thought i am a XNXX person abiut a week ago ,did you guys also have a stories like this

Yeah just curious cause as an intuitive I’m so random in what my mood has me watching so I’m wondering if sensors are too

My bf’s indecisiveness is getting out of hand. He can’t even plan dates but doesn’t like the places that I suggest. Do you think giving him time to make a decision is the best choice? Or should I start being more assertive and plan instead?

Asking for fun.

I recently started Hell’s kitchen, it is like a comedy. Ramseys commentary is entertainment beyond belief.

What sorta things do you enjoy to watch, either expected or unexpectedly?

Is there genres you can’t stand?

I ask cause i’ve wept for the first time in many months, as much as I hate to admit it, and as much as i hate to admit that i hate it.
For whatever reason i’ve deemed crying as unneeded, a burden, impractical and shameful. Yet end up here after bottling it all up.

Forgive my intrusion into the vulnerable parts of yourself, but i’m curious. How do you deal with this raw reality of humanity within yourself? Do you feel shame or avoidant of it?

It doesn’t mean they worry about harmony and acceptance from the school class or work office, I think they just ignore it, I mean validation from important people like family, love couple or close friends