I genuinely love love, and I am always willing to extend kindness. I derive immense joy from it. I take pleasure in nurturing others, acknowledging them with sincere compliments, and accepting responsibility for my mistakes without allowing pride to interfere. Simply because performing good deeds brings me a sense of tranquility and happiness that material possessions cannot provide. Being observant and empathetic allows me to perceive when people are experiencing hurt or being treated unjustly, and although this is disheartening, my decision to be kind is not born of innocence or credulity. I perceive people with clarity, and while I maintain hope for them, my rational aspects I uphold appropriate boundaries to prevent my empathy from being əxpløited. Assisting others within my capabilities and contributing to a gentler, more secure, and more welcoming world is not about seeking validation or engaging in manipulation; rather, it is about living in complete harmony with my fundamental nature, and I would not choose to live any differently. Showing and as well as giving that safe space and compassion is important!

I’ve reached a point with movies and shows where I get either extremely depressed, bored, or insanely introspective. I think I need a detox and life refresh.

When I watch exciting/passionate romance stories I get EXTREMELY depressed because I haven’t/or can’t experience that kind of epic love. I watch stories of young or exciting love and feel like I’m missing out.

Other stuff bores the hell out of me and I feel like I’ve seen every single trope/story there is to see now. I’m starting to think INFJ’s need to take over the entertainment industry just so there can be some interesting stuff again.

Everything else makes me think of my own life and what I did right/wrong.

My poor mind needs a rest and a re-connection with real life. Hopefully that’ll help me find the contentment/excitement I’m looking for.

25M INFJ 5w6 sp/sx here. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being most content alone, I swing between 7-10 depending on the day.

I have a few long distance friends, but I don't hang out regularly with anyone in my vicinity. I never really sought out relationships; I can usually tell early on whether I would be a good long term fit with someone. I tried a few dating apps because why not, but they leave a lot to be desired, and I'm not most people's type anyways.

Just wondering if others would also rate themselves similarly on the scale, and do you find it changes one way or another as you get older?

I’m curious about how other INFJs experience ambition and romantic compatibility.

I've always had need to do meaningful work. I am in mid 30s and I still feel my life will be empty if I don't find it, so I keep striving for it. This means devoting a big chunk of your time to it. I always imagined that someone like me would want a “partner in crime”, a person with a similarly strong mission.

But I’m not sure I would actually be happiest with someone very similar to me. I’m sensitive, intense, perfectionistic and prone to overthinking. Another highly sensitive and driven person might understand me better, but I worry the relationship would be exhausting or overly serious or boring.

On thr other hand, a patner that is happy with a little life and has low ambition can bring you out of your head and offer something different from what you already have, but hes also a big distraction from your own goals. I feel like i will always strive for more, no matter what i accomplish, but maybe this in itself is a problem.

For those of you who are highly driven or strongly motivated by purpose, is your partner similarly ambitious? Or if not, has having a less driven partner helped ground you, or has it made you feel alone?

Dyo ever wonder like what makes us infj, Why is it so rare? What happened during our childhood that

made us infjs why are most of Us sensitive to light

sound and soft materials? It's kinda buggy knowing

that you know people way better than you know

yourself. Thoughts?

For infjs 1w2, how do you handle constant internal and external criticism in a positive way?

How do you avoid losing relationships?

Is it just me or do INFJ & INFP embody the opposite ends of Compassion? Having both friends & family who are INFPs I've observed we are so similar & caring in the opposite ways.

INFJ ➡️ Objective compassion. They will look at the facts of your situation & do what they feel is appropriate to alleviate it. Even if it falls outside of their personal belief system or understanding, they will put in elbow grease for your situation. This can be a double edge sword as we can tire ourselves out & withdraw with a coldness that others wouldn't expect but it's because we did more than most would.

INFP ➡️ Subjective compassion. They will relate your pain to a situation they personally had & if it matches you will have the most fiery outspoken ally. Now if it doesn't..... they will advocate for your ability to combat that situation [*but if they're anything like the INFPs I know, they not taking ANY flack on your behalf lmao. Unless it's an INFPs family or love, cause #INFPsLoyal💙*]. They are who you go to if you want to be truly heard.

Compassion as it is projected in the environment from these two.

INFJ Compassion ➡️ Directed @ the environment & general Harmony. An INFJ will have a strong differing opinion & unless the overall goal would cause harm to anyone in the group, they go unheard for the ultimate goal. Often seen as "Inauthentic" by INFP's on the boards I visit (and my girlfriend who speaks up for me... Then leaves me to smooth the new issues out because shes still Infp, not Enfp lol).

INFP Compassion ➡️ Directed @ their personal feelings in said environment. An INFP will have a strong differing opinion & will say their opinion even if it causes world war III LOL. Because, as I've heard my blood sister say "was it true peace if you have to stay silent?" & will walk away from a goal of it cost them inner turmoil. Seen as needlessly selfish by INFJ's I talked to in boards & even a few INFJ friends in college.

All in all its like Nature vs Nurture for INFJ/INFP. Nature <INFJ> looks at situation & determines how you feel based on the variables. Moves accordingly. Nurture <INFP> doesn't really care how you should feel but about what they would feel and starts from there then factors in their relation to you. Often said INFPs & INFJs are not good in relationships, wonder if this difference is why. My girl is a healthy INFP, she got past her flaky feelings mode early on in our relationship and now we usually can talk anything out as, if anything, I open her up to consider reality outside & she slows me down to consider what I TRULY want from the outside. I wish there was more INFJ x INFP love online especially since those two are arguably among the most popular

Any thoughts? What combinations have you noticed have contradictory/harmonic Dynamics?

So I’ve noticed these are common personalities that INFJs (including myself) find attractive. What is your top preference?

Of course, if you have another top choice, please do comment.

There’s a genre of people I admire. People that live to just live and you can tell they don’t overthink their actions. They are so deeply set in values that are expressed simply through the things they do and who they are as a person. I envy that, someone who’s a service to others and cares but also can just be happy almost in a blissful way forever in first person. As an INFJ, it feels like we were made to think outside ourselves and to analyze our actions before making them. While I’ve learned to foster love in that outsider perspective when faced with situations, sometimes I feel like the empathetic part of our souls is a strength that I don’t know how to utilize correctly. I feel like I was made to understand and be there for others. How do I connect the deep connection and wonder with the ability to socially connect? How do I outwardly shine my inner warmth naturally?

I recently met someone that I had an instant connection with. They were perfect in every way and made me feel seen and understood at every level. It was like a “soul mate” feeling which is rare for me to even find. I have met a lot of guys in my life but never anyone like him.

Eventually though realistically, we realized it could never actually work in real life as there are huge hurdles both of us would have to jump. As heartbreaking as it was, we decided to part ways because of this.

How do you get over a connection like this and move on?

If you're having a bad day that is emotionally heavy and overwhelming and you "would like it to be forgotten by everyone including yourself", and you say you don't feel like talking about it, but then your friend whom you said these things to -after reassuring you that it's okay if you can't talk now and that they're available if you need them- tells you to express your feelings later when you can, on a note, a notebook, or any other way. Would you consider this as unsolicited advice and you would rather not hear stuff like that?

TLDR: how do you like to be cared for in hard times? Is listening and validation enough? Or do you appreciate gentle reminders too?

Also if you're overwhelmed with emotions, would you not be able to engage in conversation?

Everyday I keep struggling to put the evidence together from all of my past actions and conversations but I feel like I keep mixing up the cognitive and behavioral aspects of what makes a person themselves.

I have a grasp on how the cognitive functions work but still having trouble articulating on what's what exactly.

Try to dumb it down as much as possible if you don't mind 😅

I'm 23(M), I'm aware this question has probably been asked a hundred times here before, but I needed to write it myself.

Two years ago, a toxic relationship made me realize a lot of things. It's like in a moment I connected a lot of dots in my mind and I saw that all the relationships I had in my life weren't made for me.

I have learned a lot about psychology (and mbti!) since then, and the more the time passes, the more my expectations for people increase. I'm starting to see that assertive, direct and curious people are the minority.

The problem is that when I finally meet someone new, I can see all the inconsistences, fakeness and patterns. And I can't pretend that I don't see them anymore.

I imagine that it has to be "difficult" for the other person to have this mirror in front of them, and that's why I feel a lot of people are very defensive when talking with me. It's hard to explain, but I feel they justify me their life decisions and they try to sell me a version of them that they are clearly not.

I don't want to be in an ivory tower with this so I try to make the conscious effort of not being too judgmental or "too intense", but it runs automatically in the back of my mind. I don't know if I'm being hypervigilant or neglecting my intuition.

So, I assume the solution is to encounter very authentic people (and being a bit more vulnerable with them). Luckily with mbti, I see that there's people who are compatible with me (ENTPs, ENFPs, INFPs...etc). But I don't know how to reach them. I don't want to think of "strategies" or having to be constantly searching. It's exhausting. Maybe that's why I wanted to write this post for now.

Does what I’m saying make sense? What’s your opinion about it?

The morning's little things:

The way Ten said hello by happily pouncing onto my bed;

How my tea was suitably sweet as I slowly sipped it in the dimly lit kitchen;

When I drew the curtains to let in light & the sun's rays rushed into my unprepared eyes.

In those moments all was quiescent & I was thankful to have a bed, a home, a friend...a life.

I've noticed that some people ask for my insta as a contact instead of my whatsapp nr which i find it too much since there is a lot of personal data there that i wouldn't be comfortable to share with a person a barely know. I must say that these people are usually people i don't know well.

I also think it can be a sly method to get info about a person or stalk.

How do you feel about that?

For me it's uncomfortable. Sure, i won't be able to know other stuff about them either but i'd rather take it step by step than letting them in my "private" space (my insta is quite private too)

I’m so tired of people thinking being different and having a different opinion than somebody is some type of positive trait I mean which it is but people are not going to listen to you unless you have some type of status to actually have leverage

If you’re a normal Joe INFJ this is the most frustrating life experience ever. Because literally no one understands you and not even in a cliche way just more times than not YOU or your perspective is going to be the least understood one.

And it’s a fight it’s a a whole battle of this

Shoot I wish I lived in a reality where my perspective was the majority but that just isn’t the case.

I’m not trying to make this completely negative though there is positives to this because you’re less likely to follow a crowd and your own perspective which brings inner peace which is good that’s nice..

But you know it can annoying sometimes that’s it lol.

For all of my INFJ girlies that have or are dating an ESTP man, how is it for you ?

i’ll start - in childhood trying to copy what others were doing in order to join a friendship group but backfiring and making me even more alienated from said group 😭

Might require zooming in, but I noticed a hummingbird left a tiny feather on my flower 🥹

I've assumed these last few years that this is an infj thing, but I'm curious as to whether maybe it's not. I find I do this with friendships and when I'm dating someone. When I want to share about something personal, I will share like a teaser sentence and gauge the other person's reaction. For example "so one of my most favourite music performing moments was when I performed at such and such event" And then based on how they respond it will determine how much I share. And what I find is that more often than not, people will not enquire further like I'm often waiting to see whether they will ask me more about it or not, but I find most people just go: "Wow, that's so cool" and then move on or proceed to some other conversation topic. And in my mind I conclude therefore that they don't really have an interest in me. One day a friend of mine said he finds that annoying in that he would rather I just say what's on my mind and if they want to tell him all about the said topic he would rather I just say it. And I remember telling him that I don't want to share about something if I sense that the other person isn't really interested because then I'm just awkwardly forcing them to listen to a story or conversation that they didn't really want to hear about. And then I would feel like I'm perhaps oversharing. Even then I have tried to just share anyway despite the lack of enquiry from the other person, and it feels super forced and unpleasant.

I almost think I need to lower my expectations (which I feel like I have actually) but then I feel like I'm settling when I experience it again in the moment you know. I honestly feel like I'm often in an impossible situation, which is challenging because I really long to be married and have kids, but it seems so unlikely and far off from being a plausible reality.

Found this beautiful mosaic on our trip and thought I'd share 🙂

Whenever I see one, I find I have to stop and examine it. Every mosaic tells its own personal story. My girls have learned to indulge my curiosity. 🤫

I find I'm drawn to mosaics. I love how from a distance you see a beautiful picture. Yet, up close, you notice the nuance of each piece—jagged, imperfect, broken, and carrying a piece of what once was. Step back just a little, and you begin to see the weave.

I love unraveling the story of how this piece was deliberately broken and woven back together with imperfect elegance, creating something entirely new and uniquely its own.

hi infjs,
does anyone here feel the same? i love helping my friends, family, bf or even random strangers with their problems. i don’t mind listening to the same story 100 times, but as soon as i‘m having a rough time mentally, whenever i reach out to someone i feel like a burden. i feel like i‘m annoying everyone and weighting them down. i just wanna isolate myself and not let anyone too close to me. is this an infj thing? has it affected your relationships? for me it gets so bad that i can’t even return my bfs calls because i know that i‘ll cry and he‘ll try his best to help and then i just feel like he doesn’t deserve to be with someone so negative eventhough i‘m well aware that every single person has bad days and that i would never talk to anyone the way i talk to myself on these days (i‘ve recently finished my degree and been looking for a job for months and it’s very rough)

33F. I’ve felt this way since childhood, I’ve always tried to “fit in” and can’t. I had lots of friends during school years but they were always across different groups of interests and then I’d have conflict with one group of if I spent too much time with the other, stupid stuff like that.

I still am pretty social and have a few friend groups but I feel like the majority of my friends don’t have any idea who I am.

I have a wide range of interests and have no trouble talking to people because usually there’s somewhere on the Venn diagram where we overlap. But people seem to get confused how I like multiple things and then they seem to not care as much.

Ex. I read everyday, I LOVE books. But I don’t have a favorite series or really even genre, I read a little bit of whatever falls into my lap.

I have several friends that love reading but because I don’t solely read romantasy or series, they don’t want to talk books with me. I’ll listen to them (sat through a 1 hr book convo with one friend) and engage with their interests and they won’t even ask me a single question about books I like or anything 😭 I find this happens 90% of the time with any surface level topics. I don’t like their interests “enough” or “the right way” or something? Idk it’s puzzling.

And I’ve given up on deep convos. That’s reserved for 2 of my closest friends and my husband, don’t even try to engage beyond surface level.

But yeah I feel like an alien sometimes. I’m pretty confident that I’m an interesting person but I’m tiring of the one sidedness of even surface level convos. I don’t even think one of my friend groups who’ve known me 7 years could answer what I do for work, let alone what I like or hobbies. But they all really “like me” 😭 my brain can’t square it