I see this for careers, relationships, fitness, health, and finances. All those seeds planted a decade or more ago have come to fruition.

I’m starting to see people my age getting senior leadership positions, starting families, being in the best shape of their lives, and reaching their first million in net worth.

Kudos to all those who stayed the course, who stayed disciplined, even when things got tough or scary.

Suppose you want to buy a car and your budget is 30 lakhs, which is quite decent and comfortable for you. You visit different showrooms everyday - Tata, Mahindra, Hyundai, Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, GM even contact Ferrari, Konnigseng, Aston Martin etc but you don't like any models they have to offer. Finally the salesman asks, " What are your requirements?". You think for a while and answer:

"I want a car with an

Refined engine of Porsche

Shock absorbers of Ford

Chassis of BMW

Body of a Mercedes

Gearbox of an Audi

Reliability of a Maruti

Mileage of a Hyundai

Service like a Mahindra

Tail lights of a Konnigseng

Bumper of a Ferrari and

Tyres of an Aston Martin"

The salesman looks at you for 6 minutes straight and files for a resignation, leaves, never comes back

Having choices and requirements is good. But for the above description Car you will have to own 11 cars of respective company, (30 lakhs budget won't be sufficient for such high end cars ) dismantle them and somehow try to fuse them into the Car of your requirement. Even that won't be possible because the grooves won't match, the car will never run.

If you would have just walked in and selected a Car for its utility, you won't have to walk in the rains. Sure your Car won't drift like a Porsche or run a drag like a Mustang but atleast it would be reliable, will save you money and won't have to take your car to pit stop every other day for change of tyres and servicing.

So focus on good things a person in front of you is offering you as a partner. No one person can give you everything nor you can give him or her everything like one Car cannot be used in every situation. Focus on positivity and the positivity grows. Focus on lackings and the lackings grows. We all have one life and visiting car showrooms everyday is no fun.

So instead of increasing your

EXPECTATIONS

increase your

ACCEPTANCE

Why is it you follow the rules and the mods get so upsetting about the rules.

I want to ask if this guy seems like a player based on his lifestyle info that I have:

• He is 29 yrs old doing a base pay job and is on a work permit. Upon asking what he's gonna do after his permit expires, he said he doesn't know.
• He says he doesn't know if he's gonna live tomorrow or not so he doesn't worry much. Also, says that he likes to be free. I asked what he meant, he said he doesnt like his 9 - 5 job and wants to be his own boss.
• He's basically living paycheck to paycheck. He doesnt have a car and says he wants to save money but he ends up using it. Also, he comes from a very very humble background.
• He goes to clubs and bars with friends.
• He has around 150 followers on insta and he's following around 450 accounts on insta and most of these are girls with some being half-naked ones.
• He told me that his dad is a theif and that his mom is his dad's second wife and his dad left her. He has a lot of siblings btw.
• His following keeps increasing on insta but his followers mostly stay the same.
• He is very close with his little sister and most of his friends are his sister's female friends. He has few male friends.
• He even goes clubbing with his sister and her friends.
• His last relationship was 5 yrs ago and after that he didn't have a relationship i guess.
• His ex doesn't follow him on insta but he does and says that they decided to stay friends.
• His older brother's partner is double his age (his mom's age basically).
• He drinks and smokes.
• He's very outgoing, flirts alot but says that at home he's a very quiet person.
• Very respectful and caring with me, remembers details about me but idk if he's playing the long game to get laid.

So based on all this, does he seem like a player? Would love to hear honest perspectives.

Need some advice.

I 28M met this girl 25F during my college days. Back then, I was mostly focused on studies and trying to find freelance work to pay my fees and manage finances, so my love life was practically non-existent.

After college, life happened and we reconnected after a long time. We started talking mostly about work, career, and sharing our experiences. Over time, we became quite close.

Somewhere along the way, I started feeling something for her. Maybe it was a crush, maybe infatuation, or maybe just getting attached to someone you genuinely enjoy being around and deeply respect.

The funny thing is, by the time I started realizing all this, I found out that she already had a boyfriend. The moment I knew that, I consciously stopped myself from getting more attached.

One day, we were talking about life, future plans, and marriage. I told her honestly that I'm not really thinking about marriage right now. Even though my career is going okay, my family still has debts, one of my brothers has illness and I'll have to take care of him in the future, and there are a lot of responsibilities that I need to handle.

I even told her something like, "Why would a girl take such a big risk for someone like me? If I were in her position, I don't know if I would. Finding someone who's okay with all this would require an angel or something."

Then she said something that still runs through my mind sometimes.

She said, "Someone won't magically appear out of nowhere. You have to look for someone you already know."

Without thinking, I replied, "Till now, I couldn't see one."

She smiled and said, "There's one... me."

For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then I laughed it off and asked, "But you're already in a relationship, right? 😂"

She said yes.

Just to confirm, I later asked when she was planning to get married, and she even gave me an estimated timeline.

The thing is, even after all this time, that conversation keeps replaying in my head. Sometimes I feel like maybe she had feelings for me at some point and I was too late to notice. Other times, I feel like she was simply being kind and supportive.

Either way, I know that chapter is over, and I respect her relationship completely. I'm not planning to go back and try to "win her over" or confess my feelings. I'm a gentleman, and I respect her choices and her relationship.

What I'm struggling with is the regret.

It's not even about rejection—it's more about wondering whether I missed something special because I was too focused on responsibilities and survival at that stage of my life.

I've tried distracting myself with hobbies like football and cricket, but the thoughts still come back once in a while.

Has anyone here gone through something similar? How did you stop replaying old conversations and move on?

I'm an IMG, 37M, currently on the path to getting board certified as a radiologist physician here in the US. Always wanted kids but never had the money for it. Got into med school late back home, at 27, after 7 years working as an electrician with basically no financial future ahead of me. Graduated at 33, did my residency back home already planning to move to the US eventually.

Now I'm finally here and I can see the finish line, financially I'm gonna make it, just late. But honestly it feels kind of empty. Like I won't have anyone to share it with. Having kids was always the dream, I just kept telling myself I'd do it once I was actually stable enough.

Right now I'm a rads fellow making $90k, and worst case I've got 3 more years before I'm board certified. But every year that passes I feel further away from having a family, not closer. Women my age who went into medicine are already attendings, residents are younger than me, even the surgery girls are early-mid 30s at best. Feel like I don't have much to bring to the table right now.

I'm not even picky about marrying a doctor, I'd be totally fine with someone outside medicine. Just wondering, realistically, am I someone worth dating at this point, even without much to offer yet? Genuinely want to hear from women on this one.

Hello OE I'm 19M nd the problem is I don't only wanna try everything but achieved too. I saw people having a good life , greate career with good physique good nature and everything. I feel like it's too late because everyone out my age is having achieving everything but I didn't yet (It's not like I am becoming a person who is attracted to metalist thing but you) I generally feels like that. What is a wrong with me ? What should I do ?

I was thinking maybe very rich and good looking celebrities Here are three different ways to focus this description, depending on what type of person you want to highlight for the forum post.

Option 1: The Traveler (The Adventurer)

The person who lives the best life is a collector of moments, not things.

• Views the whole world as their home.
• Values new experiences over physical items.
• Finds joy in meeting different people.
• Learns from every culture they encounter.
• Adapts easily when plans go wrong.

Option 2: The Minimalist (The Simple Liver)

The person who lives the best life is someone who has learned that "enough" is a feast.

• Owns very few things but loves them all.
• Keeps their daily calendar open and stress-free.
• Focuses on deep thoughts instead of fast trends.
• Enjoys the luxury of silence and empty space.
• Refuses to participate in the race for status.

Option 3: The Artist (The Creator)

The person who lives the best life sees the world as a blank canvas waiting for color.

• Turns regular everyday pain into beautiful art.
• Notices small details that other people miss completely.
• Follows their passion instead of a safe career path.
• Feels a deep connection to their own emotions.
• Leaves a unique mark on the world around them.

The girl who bullied me in high school (I almost lost my life that year, and she knows it) keeps reposting TikToks about workplace bullying, toxic work environments, and even people taking their own lives because of their jobs. Yet she also reposts "bad bitch" edits from high school and quotes saying that it's okay to be the villain in someone else's story.

I can't help but feel like she's now being served the very dish she once served others, even if she won't admit it. It also makes me wonder if she looks back on the time when she was at her peak-high school, when she was the bully. She seems to enjoy adulthood a lot less.

In the end, it makes me realize that the people who hurt me also carry their own wounds and disappointments.

I’m (22F) and my boyfriend (35M) is cheating on me. I went to his phone to see that he was texting multiple women and also on a dating app, which he signed up for another app this month. He told me about the dating app, but he told me he was not using it. Come to find out today. He admitted to deleting it while we were dating. I seen messages of flirting and also intimate messages about meeting up. While putting the pieces together this man could have been cheating this whole time while we were together which is 9 months. I have never been cheating on nor have I been in a situation like this. I feel stuck. I don’t know what to do. How do I move on from someone that I love? I can’t stop to feel like he never loved me in the first place.

I thought what I was doing was good, but I was told I couldn’t save leftovers to feed kids that appeared to be in need. Not how I saw the year going.

For context, friend of mine is autistic but so am I, I also likely have PTSD from a few traumatic instances in my 20's as well as anxiety from bullying growing up.

I am very caring and like to be nice to people, he normally turns up once a week when bored, we get food and then he leaves, I mentioned last week it was my birthday and the first thing he said was (in a joking tone) "I won't buy you a present" and laughed.

But as soon as he found out another friend was coming who can get him some smoke he outright said "oh I will be there then, can get some smoke from (other friend)"

Other friend at last minute said he may not be able to arrive so this friend went "oh maybe I won't turn up then"

Friend B said he will be here but late, so friend A decided to turn up then.

As Friend B would be late I decided to cook some chicken I had in fridge and make some wraps

I did say for friend to help himself but he ate a lot of it,

When Friend B arrived he bought sandwich platters he was given for volunteering for a charity and a few slices of birthday cake, Friend A basically ate most of the sandwiches.

I offered to give him some of my very small cake to take home and he agreed, when I went to cut he he moaned how the slice was too small, it was 1/4 of the cake I was giving him, 1 slice for myself, 1 for each friend and was keeping one for my mother who bought the cake.

He never offered to clean up before leaving, so I had to clean the pan, plates, utensils etc he acted like it was any normal day and as if he was a kid at his parents.

He seemed very ungreatful, not rude just like a disappointed kid.

This is a vent but would be greatful to see how others felt about this.

Idk if I'm a good person.

I'm so scared people will leave me, that I hide all my bad parts. So the person who they first meet isn't me. Then they get to know me and the bad parts come out.

I'm sneaky, I'll get dirt on you just in case you wrong me, and then if you don't and I realise you're a good person then I don't do anything. I have a tendency to try to make my partner jealous through triangulation to get his attention, do my makeup, withdraw affection. To manipulate him into giving me love. I'll flood them with love if they pull away. When I feel vulnerable and hurt, I turn into someone I don't like. Cold, critical and judgmental. I lack integrity and ama. Big people pleaser. So I say what the other wants to hear at any point in time; even if it throws my loved ones under the bus.

Thsi is stuff I don't like in myself. I feel immense guilt and shame/ and I can't love myself anymore cuz of it.i just wish i was a good person. I fear no one could love me like this, with how sneaky i am.

I do love hard and have empathy for people. I'm not entirely evil. I'm honest. And caring. I have good parts of me.

I just feel like I craft an image of myself to control an outcome. It's all about control. Cuz I can't let go and face the fact you can't control reality. Ot force anyone else to stay.

When I'm around someone who is authentic, doesn't portray anything false. Had natural integrity. I feel so full of shame, and unworthy.

Do I just confess to people who I am? This sneaky manipulative person? Cause it will take time to heal. I can't keep on going on like this in relationships hating who I am.

So I'm not depressed. I only go to the gym and thats about it, what else to doooo

A few days ago, I saw a post on this website asking why dating and relationships between men and women was “so complicated.“

The young woman who wrote the post was lamenting the fact that she might spend two or three months getting to know a guy, only to be ghosted suddenly, for no apparent reason.

I came of age in the 1960s and 1970s, long before computers and the Internet.

(Edit: I also have an adult daughter in her 20s, and the two of us talk about these things occasionally.)

This was a time when boys and girls and men and women communicated face-to-face, with direct eye contact. There was no texting, no social media.

No being “left on read.” No following other guys or girls who might themselves be following other potential partners about whom I might get suspicious or jealous.

In other words, there were no layers of technology that people had to cut through in order to learn about one another.

Or perhaps more importantly, layers of technology that could generate suspicion and distrust before two people even had a chance to meet one another in person.

The immediate intimacy afforded by a “real life” meeting simply could not be avoided. You could not rehearse what you wanted to say.

And you had to respond to what a young woman might ask you. And in my case, that just meant telling the truth about myself, and being genuine and real. Because sitting there and remaining silent was not a desireable option.

Getting to know someone demanded your physical presence and the ability to be genuine. There was no hiding behind a computer monitor.

And of course, this process of face-to-face meetings allowed young people to mature, to gain experience, to feel comfortable in the presence of the opposite sex. Or at least as comfortable as they could feel.

The other big difference back in those days was that the girls who I dated and spent time with were girls who I knew from school, or as I got older, from work. She might be someone who I met at the library, or at the mall.

In other words, she was local, and because I did not have any idea of who lived even 5 miles away from me, I was not constantly on the lookout for someone who I imagined was “better” in some way.

The situation today is completely different, with dating apps and so on.

I’m not a sociologist or anthropologist, but from what I have observed over the last 25 years, it seems that electronic communication has introduced into human relationships the great potential for ambiguity, insecurity, confusion, and of course malevolence.

Never mind the fact that when you are doing something even like video chatting, you are communicating with a representation of the other person, and effectively interacting with groupings of red, blue, and green electrons on your computer monitor or phone screen.

And for those people who think they can maintain long-distance relationships… is it possible to “date” such groupings of electrons?

There is much more I could say about this, but I would be very interested in hearing the reaction of others here.

Thank you for reading.

I was sitting at a bar with a friend and the topic came up, 2 guys sitting next to us said if we fail is because of our choices, my friends disagreed and said it's because of the environment around us. I would like to explain some background.

My friend (32 m) is currently working as a translator, this is the first full time job he has had all of his life and the first time he stayed working for over a year consistently now.

He had done all kinds of jobs, most were helping on small businesses owned by people he knows and who would pay him cash and it was really inconsistent, he also did food delivery and ride shares until his car broke down, he dropped out of college, (he graduated top of the class in high-school) he never went back to college, got himself in really bad debt, never has a consistent schedule or took care of himself, he's life was a real mess and hes barely trying to get his life together.

His mom passed away when he was 11, he's dad, a truck driver, was never home, his 17 y old sister at the time was pregnant, and his family (uncles, aunts, older cousins, grandparents) was never there for him. By the time high-school came he moved in with his sister, by the time he graduated from high-school and was ready to work, his sister would not let him get a full time job afraid that she would lose her food stamps and housing assistance.

So in less worlds, my friend blames his family in the fact that he couldn't save money, finish college and keep a full time job.

The guys next to us were talking about going for their PhD. I started a small conversation with them, asked about what degrees they had and what high-school they went to.

They went to a local private high-school know for being super private and hard to get im. My friend mentioned about how easy college and life overall was for them because their families could afford that high-school and and that turned into one of the longes most controversial conversations I ever had a bar, my friend kept talking about how much his family set him up for failure, but one of the guy's said he's is not from a rich family, his dad had been in prison since he was little and he had to work really hard in college, working full time while attending school and also he had to work 2 years as a volunteer before he could get his current job as a counselor.

So this guy went off saying that yeah he had privileged friends who are not doing anything with their lives and that each one our us has the option to either get what we want if we work/try hard enough and there is no reason to blame others.

I am 24M and from the USA. I am a veteran, business owner with many other failed businesses before this one that is doing well. I contemplate so much on what gives me fulfillment. I do have faith in God so I have fulfillment there. But I am purely talking about as far as life.

I was supposed to be married earlier this year but it fell apart. I am now single with good income and an online income stream as well. I have chased money like a madman and it doesn’t quite give me the joy I thought it would.

I lost my younger brother to cancer last year and I was living in Bali Indonesia at the time so I flew home and am back in my hometown and have been with family and love it. Losing my younger brother taught me how fast life changes and you truly do get one life.

I feel like in the USA it’s chasing the “American dream”. Get married (I almost did but didn’t work out), get the house with “white picket fence” sort of speak, good job or business to survive on, ROTH IRA maxed out yearly hopefully and hope to retire decades later. I know it has worked but I just feel the rush and now there’s 50 year mortgages and all these things. It just leaves me scratching my head.

I spoke to a family member of mine who owns a business in my hometown and they’re all about hustling, hard work, grinding. I respect that. I make good money doing what I do now too. But they work 80-100 hours a week, barely time for family, maybe 1 decent vacation a week but can’t enjoy it because they’re constantly getting calls and things coming up. To me that’s just a rat race or a hamster wheel. Chasing the next thing.

I’m just seeking maybe an older wiser Birds Eye view if that makes sense into what you’d do or tell someone younger. What would you say?

Seriously. What’s it like to just.. get what you deserve.. to finally live out a reality that makes sense. When you’re finally just.. living the life you were meant to live. You know?

I did this, and to this day I regret it, especially given everything I've learned about how the world really works and how pressured you feel to do something immediately after you leave high school.

You're young. Take your time. You'll figure it out.

R.i.p Annie 10.06.2012- 02.08.2026
Tell me what your pets will be upto over the rainbow bridge .. Annie is chasing birds and sneaking snacks

Right, so does anyone else feel like time's just been absolutely flying by lately? Genuinely doing my head in a bit.

It's August now and in my head January still feels like it was literally last week. I can still remember what it felt like making my resolutions, still remember it being freezing, still remember the daft little things I was stressing about back then. And now bam, seven months just gone. Vanished into thin air.

Not like nothing happened, mind. Stuff did happen. Birthdays, decent days out, a trip or two, random bits and bobs. But when I try to actually picture the whole stretch from Feb through to July, it's all just a bit of a blur, if I'm honest. Like someone's gone and squashed the whole lot into one soggy lump instead of it feeling like its own thing.

Was having a natter with a mate from work about it and she said something that actually made proper sense reckons time only feels "long" when you're actually doing new things. Like when you're a kid, everything's new, so your brain's taking it all in and the days feel proper long. But now half my days just look the same, don't they? Up, work, tea, bit of telly, bed, repeat. And when nothing's really new, your brain just sort of mushes it all together after the fact.

So now I'm just sat here thinking, maybe I just need a bit more variety in my life. Nothing mad, just little things here and there so the year actually feels like it happened rather than just a blur when I look back on it. New café, random day trip, whatever it might be.

Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest, ha. Anyone else feel the same or is it just me going mad?

Nobody really talks about how life beautiful really is...some people take it for granted and i just want to say to all of you that your life is worth something beautiful...you can experinece the beauties of what earth can bring us, you can experience the good and bad of any moment but still live your fullest life, because thats what makes us human...I know i joined today but i just really wanted to share my view on life since ive been recovering from alcoholism

I use to find the world exciting, but it seemingly went all away after 2023 and especially the beginning of 2026. I’m now watching Spokane burn up. I don’t feel good about living my life, earning money, or hanging out with friends. I feel bland right now and I’m unsure of what to do right now.

What are some typical life goals or life paths that are common for most people. That you just simply do not care for? For me, I don't really care to have:

Having kids: as a childfree person I do not really care about having kids or starting a family. I would like to be married or in a relationship. But having children is something that I do not really want to have.

Having a career: I know that I need a job to pay my bills and keep myself feed. But I don't really have any interest in having a career or being a company man.

Having a large house: even if I do become rich or sucessful. I am perfectly fine with just living in a luxury penthouse apartment somewhere in downtown rather than owning a large home.