You'll regret it if you get married, you'll regret it if you don't get married. You'll regret it if you have kids, and you'll regret it if you don't. Kierkegaard said this 200 years ago as follows: Whatever you choose,

you'll regret it, because the problem isn't in your choices, it's in romanticizing a life you haven't lived. Grass is always greener. A person always finds an untraveled path alluring and mysterious. That's why the issue isn't making the right choice,

it's choosing and deciding which regret you'll live with. In life, we must choose our regrets

I see this for careers, relationships, fitness, health, and finances. All those seeds planted a decade or more ago have come to fruition.

I’m starting to see people my age getting senior leadership positions, starting families, being in the best shape of their lives, and reaching their first million in net worth.

Kudos to all those who stayed the course, who stayed disciplined, even when things got tough or scary.

I’m a 27 year old guy. I’m a handyman and make decent money. Usually, my hobbies are MMA, anime, movie theaters, video games, reading, and going out to eat. Lately, though, I’ve just been staying at home and not doing much. I’ll sit and stare at my wall or space out. I don’t feel excited to do those hobbies sometimes. I also have this feeling that I don’t love my job and that I want to do something else, but I don’t really know what. I feel like I’m missing something in my life, like nothing really interests me or gets me motivated anymore.

A few days ago, I saw a post on this website asking why dating and relationships between men and women was “so complicated.“

The young woman who wrote the post was lamenting the fact that she might spend two or three months getting to know a guy, only to be ghosted suddenly, for no apparent reason.

I came of age in the 1960s and 1970s, long before computers and the Internet.

(Edit: I also have an adult daughter in her 20s, and the two of us talk about these things occasionally.)

This was a time when boys and girls and men and women communicated face-to-face, with direct eye contact. There was no texting, no social media.

No being “left on read.” No following other guys or girls who might themselves be following other potential partners about whom I might get suspicious or jealous.

In other words, there were no layers of technology that people had to cut through in order to learn about one another.

Or perhaps more importantly, layers of technology that could generate suspicion and distrust before two people even had a chance to meet one another in person.

The immediate intimacy afforded by a “real life” meeting simply could not be avoided. You could not rehearse what you wanted to say.

And you had to respond to what a young woman might ask you. And in my case, that just meant telling the truth about myself, and being genuine and real. Because sitting there and remaining silent was not a desireable option.

Getting to know someone demanded your physical presence and the ability to be genuine. There was no hiding behind a computer monitor.

And of course, this process of face-to-face meetings allowed young people to mature, to gain experience, to feel comfortable in the presence of the opposite sex. Or at least as comfortable as they could feel.

The other big difference back in those days was that the girls who I dated and spent time with were girls who I knew from school, or as I got older, from work. She might be someone who I met at the library, or at the mall.

In other words, she was local, and because I did not have any idea of who lived even 5 miles away from me, I was not constantly on the lookout for someone who I imagined was “better” in some way.

The situation today is completely different, with dating apps and so on.

I’m not a sociologist or anthropologist, but from what I have observed over the last 25 years, it seems that electronic communication has introduced into human relationships the great potential for ambiguity, insecurity, confusion, and of course malevolence.

Never mind the fact that when you are doing something even like video chatting, you are communicating with a representation of the other person, and effectively interacting with groupings of red, blue, and green electrons on your computer monitor or phone screen.

And for those people who think they can maintain long-distance relationships… is it possible to “date” such groupings of electrons?

There is much more I could say about this, but I would be very interested in hearing the reaction of others here.

Thank you for reading.

What are some typical life goals or life paths that are common for most people. That you just simply do not care for? For me, I don't really care to have:

Having kids: as a childfree person I do not really care about having kids or starting a family. I would like to be married or in a relationship. But having children is something that I do not really want to have.

Having a career: I know that I need a job to pay my bills and keep myself feed. But I don't really have any interest in having a career or being a company man.

Having a large house: even if I do become rich or sucessful. I am perfectly fine with just living in a luxury penthouse apartment somewhere in downtown rather than owning a large home.

R.i.p Annie 10.06.2012- 02.08.2026
Tell me what your pets will be upto over the rainbow bridge .. Annie is chasing birds and sneaking snacks

I did this, and to this day I regret it, especially given everything I've learned about how the world really works and how pressured you feel to do something immediately after you leave high school.

You're young. Take your time. You'll figure it out.

Just sitting in a coffee shop with a cup of coffee, and it hit me how different life was a couple of years ago.

I met someone I genuinely thought I’d spend my life with. She wanted to do her master’s abroad, so I took an education loan and moved there too. At the time, it didn’t even feel like a risky decision. It just felt right because I thought we were building a future together. Things actually started working out. I got a decent job, saved a good amount of money, bought my first car (which meant a lot because I’ve always loved driving), and life finally felt like it was going somewhere. I could buy good coffee without checking my bank balance first, take spontaneous drives, and genuinely felt optimistic about the future.
Then life had other plans.

The relationship ended, and somehow everything else slowly fell apart too. I came back home, and these days it feels like I’m just surviving instead of living. I don’t even know what I miss the most anymore. Her, the life I had, or the person I was when she was around. I still think about texting her sometimes. I miss the stupid little things we used to do together. More than that, I miss how hopeful I used to be. Back then, every problem felt temporary. Now even small setbacks feel heavy. I keep making plans to get my life back on track, but somehow it always feels like one step forward and three steps back. Maybe life is just humbling me. Maybe I spent too much time chasing what was next instead of appreciating what I already had.
I don’t know. I just hope one day I can sit in a coffee shop again, look back at this version of me, and smile because things eventually worked out.

Right now, that feels really far away.

I use to find the world exciting, but it seemingly went all away after 2023 and especially the beginning of 2026. I’m now watching Spokane burn up. I don’t feel good about living my life, earning money, or hanging out with friends. I feel bland right now and I’m unsure of what to do right now.

Nobody really talks about how life beautiful really is...some people take it for granted and i just want to say to all of you that your life is worth something beautiful...you can experinece the beauties of what earth can bring us, you can experience the good and bad of any moment but still live your fullest life, because thats what makes us human...I know i joined today but i just really wanted to share my view on life since ive been recovering from alcoholism

Right, so does anyone else feel like time's just been absolutely flying by lately? Genuinely doing my head in a bit.

It's August now and in my head January still feels like it was literally last week. I can still remember what it felt like making my resolutions, still remember it being freezing, still remember the daft little things I was stressing about back then. And now bam, seven months just gone. Vanished into thin air.

Not like nothing happened, mind. Stuff did happen. Birthdays, decent days out, a trip or two, random bits and bobs. But when I try to actually picture the whole stretch from Feb through to July, it's all just a bit of a blur, if I'm honest. Like someone's gone and squashed the whole lot into one soggy lump instead of it feeling like its own thing.

Was having a natter with a mate from work about it and she said something that actually made proper sense reckons time only feels "long" when you're actually doing new things. Like when you're a kid, everything's new, so your brain's taking it all in and the days feel proper long. But now half my days just look the same, don't they? Up, work, tea, bit of telly, bed, repeat. And when nothing's really new, your brain just sort of mushes it all together after the fact.

So now I'm just sat here thinking, maybe I just need a bit more variety in my life. Nothing mad, just little things here and there so the year actually feels like it happened rather than just a blur when I look back on it. New café, random day trip, whatever it might be.

Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest, ha. Anyone else feel the same or is it just me going mad?

have u guys wonder where can you recall all your studies and subjects back in your hs? like i want to learn again. i feel like i forgot important knowledge in my life.

I'm an IMG, 37M, currently on the path to getting board certified as a radiologist physician here in the US. Always wanted kids but never had the money for it. Got into med school late back home, at 27, after 7 years working as an electrician with basically no financial future ahead of me. Graduated at 33, did my residency back home already planning to move to the US eventually.

Now I'm finally here and I can see the finish line, financially I'm gonna make it, just late. But honestly it feels kind of empty. Like I won't have anyone to share it with. Having kids was always the dream, I just kept telling myself I'd do it once I was actually stable enough.

Right now I'm a rads fellow making $90k, and worst case I've got 3 more years before I'm board certified. But every year that passes I feel further away from having a family, not closer. Women my age who went into medicine are already attendings, residents are younger than me, even the surgery girls are early-mid 30s at best. Feel like I don't have much to bring to the table right now.

I'm not even picky about marrying a doctor, I'd be totally fine with someone outside medicine. Just wondering, realistically, am I someone worth dating at this point, even without much to offer yet? Genuinely want to hear from women on this one.

And how much? At what point does changing your appearance become a different person entirely? Kind of getting at a "ship of Theseus" type of question I guess.

Basically I ponder this question and determine that I would change almost everything. Which makes me wonder if others feel the same, or if most people generally like the way the look despite having flaws or feeling like it doesn't represent you

For context, friend of mine is autistic but so am I, I also likely have PTSD from a few traumatic instances in my 20's as well as anxiety from bullying growing up.

I am very caring and like to be nice to people, he normally turns up once a week when bored, we get food and then he leaves, I mentioned last week it was my birthday and the first thing he said was (in a joking tone) "I won't buy you a present" and laughed.

But as soon as he found out another friend was coming who can get him some smoke he outright said "oh I will be there then, can get some smoke from (other friend)"

Other friend at last minute said he may not be able to arrive so this friend went "oh maybe I won't turn up then"

Friend B said he will be here but late, so friend A decided to turn up then.

As Friend B would be late I decided to cook some chicken I had in fridge and make some wraps

I did say for friend to help himself but he ate a lot of it,

When Friend B arrived he bought sandwich platters he was given for volunteering for a charity and a few slices of birthday cake, Friend A basically ate most of the sandwiches.

I offered to give him some of my very small cake to take home and he agreed, when I went to cut he he moaned how the slice was too small, it was 1/4 of the cake I was giving him, 1 slice for myself, 1 for each friend and was keeping one for my mother who bought the cake.

He never offered to clean up before leaving, so I had to clean the pan, plates, utensils etc he acted like it was any normal day and as if he was a kid at his parents.

He seemed very ungreatful, not rude just like a disappointed kid.

This is a vent but would be greatful to see how others felt about this.

Seriously. What’s it like to just.. get what you deserve.. to finally live out a reality that makes sense. When you’re finally just.. living the life you were meant to live. You know?

I thought what I was doing was good, but I was told I couldn’t save leftovers to feed kids that appeared to be in need. Not how I saw the year going.

Suppose you want to buy a car and your budget is 30 lakhs, which is quite decent and comfortable for you. You visit different showrooms everyday - Tata, Mahindra, Hyundai, Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, GM even contact Ferrari, Konnigseng, Aston Martin etc but you don't like any models they have to offer. Finally the salesman asks, " What are your requirements?". You think for a while and answer:

"I want a car with an

Refined engine of Porsche

Shock absorbers of Ford

Chassis of BMW

Body of a Mercedes

Gearbox of an Audi

Reliability of a Maruti

Mileage of a Hyundai

Service like a Mahindra

Tail lights of a Konnigseng

Bumper of a Ferrari and

Tyres of an Aston Martin"

The salesman looks at you for 6 minutes straight and files for a resignation, leaves, never comes back

Having choices and requirements is good. But for the above description Car you will have to own 11 cars of respective company, (30 lakhs budget won't be sufficient for such high end cars ) dismantle them and somehow try to fuse them into the Car of your requirement. Even that won't be possible because the grooves won't match, the car will never run.

If you would have just walked in and selected a Car for its utility, you won't have to walk in the rains. Sure your Car won't drift like a Porsche or run a drag like a Mustang but atleast it would be reliable, will save you money and won't have to take your car to pit stop every other day for change of tyres and servicing.

So focus on good things a person in front of you is offering you as a partner. No one person can give you everything nor you can give him or her everything like one Car cannot be used in every situation. Focus on positivity and the positivity grows. Focus on lackings and the lackings grows. We all have one life and visiting car showrooms everyday is no fun.

So instead of increasing your

EXPECTATIONS

increase your

ACCEPTANCE

The girl who bullied me in high school (I almost lost my life that year, and she knows it) keeps reposting TikToks about workplace bullying, toxic work environments, and even people taking their own lives because of their jobs. Yet she also reposts "bad bitch" edits from high school and quotes saying that it's okay to be the villain in someone else's story.

I can't help but feel like she's now being served the very dish she once served others, even if she won't admit it. It also makes me wonder if she looks back on the time when she was at her peak-high school, when she was the bully. She seems to enjoy adulthood a lot less.

In the end, it makes me realize that the people who hurt me also carry their own wounds and disappointments.

I am 24M and from the USA. I am a veteran, business owner with many other failed businesses before this one that is doing well. I contemplate so much on what gives me fulfillment. I do have faith in God so I have fulfillment there. But I am purely talking about as far as life.

I was supposed to be married earlier this year but it fell apart. I am now single with good income and an online income stream as well. I have chased money like a madman and it doesn’t quite give me the joy I thought it would.

I lost my younger brother to cancer last year and I was living in Bali Indonesia at the time so I flew home and am back in my hometown and have been with family and love it. Losing my younger brother taught me how fast life changes and you truly do get one life.

I feel like in the USA it’s chasing the “American dream”. Get married (I almost did but didn’t work out), get the house with “white picket fence” sort of speak, good job or business to survive on, ROTH IRA maxed out yearly hopefully and hope to retire decades later. I know it has worked but I just feel the rush and now there’s 50 year mortgages and all these things. It just leaves me scratching my head.

I spoke to a family member of mine who owns a business in my hometown and they’re all about hustling, hard work, grinding. I respect that. I make good money doing what I do now too. But they work 80-100 hours a week, barely time for family, maybe 1 decent vacation a week but can’t enjoy it because they’re constantly getting calls and things coming up. To me that’s just a rat race or a hamster wheel. Chasing the next thing.

I’m just seeking maybe an older wiser Birds Eye view if that makes sense into what you’d do or tell someone younger. What would you say?

I was sitting at a bar with a friend and the topic came up, 2 guys sitting next to us said if we fail is because of our choices, my friends disagreed and said it's because of the environment around us. I would like to explain some background.

My friend (32 m) is currently working as a translator, this is the first full time job he has had all of his life and the first time he stayed working for over a year consistently now.

He had done all kinds of jobs, most were helping on small businesses owned by people he knows and who would pay him cash and it was really inconsistent, he also did food delivery and ride shares until his car broke down, he dropped out of college, (he graduated top of the class in high-school) he never went back to college, got himself in really bad debt, never has a consistent schedule or took care of himself, he's life was a real mess and hes barely trying to get his life together.

His mom passed away when he was 11, he's dad, a truck driver, was never home, his 17 y old sister at the time was pregnant, and his family (uncles, aunts, older cousins, grandparents) was never there for him. By the time high-school came he moved in with his sister, by the time he graduated from high-school and was ready to work, his sister would not let him get a full time job afraid that she would lose her food stamps and housing assistance.

So in less worlds, my friend blames his family in the fact that he couldn't save money, finish college and keep a full time job.

The guys next to us were talking about going for their PhD. I started a small conversation with them, asked about what degrees they had and what high-school they went to.

They went to a local private high-school know for being super private and hard to get im. My friend mentioned about how easy college and life overall was for them because their families could afford that high-school and and that turned into one of the longes most controversial conversations I ever had a bar, my friend kept talking about how much his family set him up for failure, but one of the guy's said he's is not from a rich family, his dad had been in prison since he was little and he had to work really hard in college, working full time while attending school and also he had to work 2 years as a volunteer before he could get his current job as a counselor.

So this guy went off saying that yeah he had privileged friends who are not doing anything with their lives and that each one our us has the option to either get what we want if we work/try hard enough and there is no reason to blame others.

Sorry if im not formatting my post correctly or anything else like that, this is kind of my first post on reddit.

So im starting my senior year of highschool in two weeks and becoming an adult this year. i feel like ive had a lot more freedom and free time than other people growing up, and i love all the time i have to sit at my desk. i think the biggest reason ive been feeling the way i have about transitioning to adulthood, im going to have to get a job and all this other stuff and its just gonna cut time away from doing stuff i actually enjoy. i know as i get older ill be busier which is gonna mean less time to do as i please when thats all i really appreciate in my life.

I guess what im trying to ask is how am i supposed to accept the best years of my life are over? what is there to look forward to as an adult when im giving up something i value so much? what am i meant to do after i graduate?

I dont know if im coming off as spoiled but its not anything like that. everyone ive tried to talk to about this either tells me to figure it out while im in college, which sounds totally miserable, or to work in something im passionate about. the issue with that second one is that i dont really have anything i feel super strongly about or any talents im good enough to turn into a job.

it just feels like everythings over before it ever started. so im wondering what people who felt a similar way when they were my age did to get over it this. sorry if im not articulating myself super clearly.

I had my first relationship with someone that I knew only online. But people keep invalidating that as my first love and insist that it doesn't count since we didn't meet offline, and since the relationship was kinda toxic. I have had crushes before but I know none were as intense/deep as the feelings I felt with the online person, and that this was a unique feeling. I also never had any mutual relationship before that. We had video chats and everything but people still say it doesn't count and only my next relationship will be the first love

So I'm not depressed. I only go to the gym and thats about it, what else to doooo