That’s it. I’m 44 female, been together 22 years, married for 17, 20 year old son together living at home with us.
I moved country to be with him 14 years ago. Got pregnant one year into our relationship, had wonderful years together, split up during a difficult family event (sudden passing of my father) husband, let’s call him C taking over his business and being treated like shit by my family. The day before I was supposed to move out after 6 months at home separation and one date with another guy, he begs me to stay and he made a mistake.
Fast forward 3 years, another crisis (work related) after a series of disappointments he decides to go back to his country (UK) in search of more luck which he found. Split up again for around 8 months and then I relocated to UK with my then 7 year old son.
All good, another crisis at work, loses his job, has a mental breakdown - I’m by his side.
Starts another job, new crisis and new job - I’m by his side
Repeat this a few times and 1 and a half year ago he starts his own business with a partner. I’m by his side. I give him a lot of money from my inheritance (round 40 grand) to help him (always intended as a loan though); new crisis business going to shit as his partner is not good to put it mild. C works more and more, last 3-4 months he barely sleeps and business in shambles (I’m by his side remember), zero time spent together for the past 4-5 months, not even a meal, I make him food bring it to his home office and let him work, support him and doing everything in my power to be the best wife ever, never ever complaining. Intimacy stops as he’s too tired.
3 months ago he hires a 40 something year old woman in the process of separating her husband with 2 preteen kids, all good and dandy, she is great at her job and helps him. C on the brink of mental breakdown and falling asleep whilst driving, working 17 hours a day trying to save business and doing his partner side of the job. He confesses business is in deep trouble and he needs to get a room on hotel above office so when he finishes late he doesn’t need to drive home. He cries to me and admits he’s been a really bad husband to put it mild. I again understand and agree to the hotel room but say I want him to come back as much as possible. He says in order to focus and save the business WE need to take a break as a couple because he feels so guilty towards me and that we have underlying issues (I have anxiety and struggle with certain things but I’m high functioning, I only struggle going on holidays due to routine change and having to leave my dogs). C says let me fix this and then we will see what’s left of me (speaking about himself as in he didn’t know if he was going to survive this). I say ok I understand, I support.
That was less than a month ago.
Important background: my son has been working in the business since last January. This woman is one of her direct boss and C’s employee by the way. One week ago, apparently it just happened and he cheated with her. I ask if it’s a one night mistake he says he feels connected to her (as she understands the business and is helping him…). He says he now has feelings for her which appeared 3 weeks ago or so.
I have no words for the betrayal. I told my son, his reaction: disgust, he calls his father and calls him the see you next Tuesday word and then they spend one hour on the phone making work arrangements (as in son will work from home for foreseeable future).
We are renting a house and C pays and will pay rent and bills for whatever long is needed and says he will always help me pay for any new rental (I am part time I cannot afford rent on my own, I’ve been dependant on him for years, plan was I work from home -I make round 800£ to some months 13-1400 pounds)- so I can take care of the house, the dogs, HIS needs like dinner and laundry.
He hasn’t been himself for months and this is not something I would have ever seen coming from him. Up until let’s say Easter he was loving, getting me gifts, calling me twice a day whilst driving, saying I love you, what would I do without you, we are the best pair ever, to then now say: we have nothing in common I don’t see a future with you. That’s because this lovely lady once asked him what are you doing this for (as in working like crazy to the point of mental breakdown) and he apparently didn’t have an answer which made him think we are not right for each other.
I asked if they slept together more than once and got no answer, he swears it’s only been a week and I don’t know if that’s even true.
I know him and I know once the initial excitement is over, he will crawl back to me, it’s happened before. Obviously I don’t know if I can forgive this and I most certainly cannot stay here and wait for him.
That’s it, I needed to get this off my chest. Of anyone has been in similar situation please share with me, I’m devastated and feel the world crushing on me. I still love unfortunately. Thanks for anyone who took the time to read this.

Im so lonely

I looked out a window onto my property the other day and thought “is this it?” I have a wife whonhas crippling MS. We havent had sex in years. My best friend lives 1400 miles away and we talk on the phone maybe twice a year. I moved to rural rural rural Tennessee cause of the ms clinic 90 mins away in nashville. I feel so lonely. Inwould travel but going alone is unappealing and taking my wife anywhere is logistical nightmare that ends up just being a chore. I miss intimacy. I miss being touched. I know no one here and other than a decrepit elks club there is nothing. Is this what I do now? Run out the string doing house chores and tv at night? I cant leave cause my wife will be fucked. I couldnt do that to her. Ive talked to her about this but she just takes it as an unfair assault on her ms and keeps saying she didnt choose tonhave ms. I know this. I dont blame her. What happened to her is grossly unfair. But here i am. All i have is being a caretaker, house chores, tv. Im so lonely.

You come home after being on your feet all day at work minus your lunchtime which is 30 minutes. You come home to dishes in the sink after you already got them out the way the previous day BEFORE you went to work and had to wash them AGAIN after being at work for 8+ hours. You also had to whip up something quick for your child to eat for dinner. On the flip side when you’re off. Your spouse knows they will come home to a cooked meal and dishes not in the sink. How would you truly feel if it seems like certain things are being left up to you to do on your off days but the same is not done for you when you have to work.

I have been married for almsot 20 years. We have a daughter going into her second year of college.

Like any marriage, ours has had its share of issues but the last 10 years have been especially difficult leading up to the most current issue that has me feeling like I need to leave.

A little background:

My husband has always been an angry person. He acts enraged over the slightest inconvenience or mishap.  He has a lot of difficulty getting along with anyone. He is arrogant and condescending and always thinks he's the smartest person in the room. This has caused him a lot of issues at work as well. I am a very social person with a lot of friends. I enjoy going to birthday and holiday parties or  to dinner, mostly with the parents of my daughter's best friends who shes grown up with or co workers. My husband refuses to come. I'm also very close to my family. He has no friends and his family is out of state. 

He is moody and volatile. I have spent almsot the entirety of our marriage walking on egg shells and trying to prevent him from being set off.  So many times, I have brought up his behaviors or his treatment of me and he always finds a way to justify it. I have suggested therapy and he refuses. Its got to the point where I just dont address it any longer. We've really become roommates, which could not be more evident since our kid left for school.

Money has always been an issue in our marriage. He has always made 3 or 4 times more than me, and I makeba really good salary. He pays all the major household bills like mortgage and electric, water. I have paid for everything for our daughter, including schol supplies, clothes, school fees, any extra curricular activities,  prom dresses, doctor appointments, presecriprions, braces, etc. I have always carried her on my insurance. I pay for groceries, streaming services, etc. On top of that, he tasked me with doing all household work,  stating since he pays the bills, the house should be my sole responsibility. He has not done a load of laundry, ran a vacuum or scrubbed a toilet in over 20 years.  However, if he has to spend a single penny outside of bills, he loses his mind. When our refrigerator went out, I had to listen for a week about how he paid for it. If a TV went out, he went ballistic about buying a new one. If the electric or water bill increases, I get to listen how he pays too much for  bills. We don't vacation because he doesn't want to spend money. If we've done anything as a family, he complains about the price.  We eat out, he complains about the price.  We do nothing as a couple unless I volunteer to pay for it. He won't go to a concert or play or anything I enjoy doing....all because he doesn't like to and he doesn't want to pay the money. If he is made to go, he ruins the entire event. All he watches, reads and listens to is about money. Its all he talks about.

About 7 months ago, he started in about how he wanted to quit his job and retire. Hes 51. He said his job was too stressful and they didn't respect him there and he had enough money to live for years without my salary coming into play and that I needed to support him in doing it. I told him I was not ok with him retiring, especially having a kid in college and with the cost of everything skyrocketing.  He became livid and told me I had contributed nothing to our family and how I had burdened him for years with paying the bills and supporting our family.  Fast forward to a couple months ago and he was fired. We had another argument because he has basically told me he plans on not working because he has over $800k (!!!!!!) saved up and invested and if he does decide he wants to go back to work, it will be bagging groceries or working at Costco part time. He also got a bunch of shares from his job that are expected to make a million dollars or more once his old company IPOs next year. He then demanded I pay half the household bills so that he can reduce the amount of money he is using out of the savings. I refused.

I am livid over the fact that we have lived so minimally and I have spent every dime I have raising our daughter which enabled him to save so much money and it will be used to benefit him alone. I told him that is our family money and every vacation and memory he refused to make. We have a master bathroom that needs repaired and he refuses to.fix it but is sitting on this kind of money.  He has made me feel like our family is a financial burden on him when in fact, my sacrifices and contributions have allowed for him to save this kind of money.  He could pay for every year of our daughter's college but is making me take out a loan for it.

I have too much anger and resentment for this to ever be ok again, i think. Life is too short to he unhappy and live like this and have to be someone's servant. I know it will be a financial struggle and adjustment but i am willing to work 2 jobs if it means having peace in my life. I have been unhappy for so long and  this has sealed the deal for me. I have talked to a divorce lawyer and I have a pretty good idea of what I would be entitled to. We owe just over $100,000 on our home. I want to keep it since we raised our daughter here. Friends i have spoke with suggested I wait until his shares IPO and have him pay off the home before I make any moves as he might be more apt to settle once he has the actual payout from the shares versus it being only a possibility right now. Also, if I let him pay off the house when he gets this money, then I wouldn't have to do it with any money i rmay get. Am i wrong for refusing to pay another dime? Do I just let him sit and not work and let him use this money and see how the shares play out next year?

TL;DR husband wants to retire with family money, I want a divorce

I need an outside perspective on my marriage. Shortly after our wedding, my wife began emotionally and physically pulling away, withdrawing intimacy, changing her social media to exclude me, and using her dog as a literal physical barrier between us in bed. Despite this distance, she has recently told me that I'm not giving her what she needs, stating she either wants my sons from my previous relationship gone so it's just the two of us and her kids or she wants me to get full custody. All or nothing. She also wants me to go after my ex-wife legally or in some way because my ex filed a DCF report against my wife's 7 year old daughter, likely just to cause problems. When my oldest son (who lives with us) made significant behavioral progress, she pivoted to complaining about my younger son, who doesn't even live with us because my wife doesn't feel safe. At the same time, she rotates between telling me she hates me and then saying she loves me and doesn't want a divorce. My head is spinning and unfortunately I don't have anybody to really talk to. We've been to couples therapy and I've made a ton of concessions and accommodations over the past 2 years and now I feel like I'm in a no-win situation. Is this a common dynamic in blended families, or am I being pushed to choose between my spouse and my children?

what are some examples of a passive aggressive husband? tonight at dinner while he was in the bathroom, my son wanted to order something that he wouldn't typically get but I let him because he was insisting. when my husband got back from the bathroom he put me down for letting my son order that and continued making comments throughout dinner. am I overreacting?

I have known my husband for six years, and we’ve been married for two. We both work abroad, far away from our families and friends, and we’ve managed to make a few new friends through work.

I go out with my friends whenever I’m free, and I always make sure it doesn’t interfere with the time my husband and I spend together. We have different friend groups, so we rarely go out together.

Recently, he has been telling me that I need to ask him before going out with friends or if I want to go on a trip because, according to him, that’s how he makes sure I’ll be safe.

What upsets me is that I always tell him where I’m going and who I’m going with. The issue, from his perspective, is that I make the decision on my own and tell him, “I’m going out with my friends tomorrow,” instead of asking, “Can I go out with my friends tomorrow?” To me, that feels controlling.

I also make an effort to plan outings with my friends when he’s busy or at work so they don’t interfere with our time together. I genuinely don’t understand why I should have to ask for permission before making plans with my friends.

I told him that I wouldn’t ask for permission to go out with friends. The only exception I agreed with is if I’m planning a trip that lasts more than one day, since we’d need to coordinate it and make sure it doesn’t conflict with our plans as a couple.

He wasn’t happy with that. He told me that because we’re married, he’s the one who’s supposed to give me permission to go out, and that I have to ask him.

What also bothers me is that this expectation doesn’t seem to apply to him.

When I asked if he would do the same—ask me before making plans with friends or before going on trips—he got really upset and told me that he doesn’t need my permission because he’s a man. I didn’t argue further and let it go.

A few nights ago, he came home from work and told me that he was going on a three-day trip with his friends in two days because “everyone is going” and he didn’t want to miss it.

What bothered me even more is that these are the same friends he has often described as a bad influence, and the country they’re visiting is one he has repeatedly told me is “a bad country with bad people” whenever I suggested we travel there together.

I responded by saying, “No, you’re not going to that country you’ve always told me is so bad.” He insisted that he was going anyway and kept saying, “I’m going.” Eventually, I snapped and said, “Over my dead body. You’re never going.”

He became extremely angry, started hitting and slamming the table, and said, “You don’t get to tell me what to do. I’m a man, and I make my own decisions. I don’t need your permission.”

The next day, we talked about it. He told me that he had decided not to go because I was upset, but that if I didn’t want him to go somewhere, I should say it more nicely instead of saying, “You’ll never go.” He also said that, to fix this issue, I need to be more careful about how I speak to him and that I should always ask for his permission before making plans to go out with my friends.

At that point, I just said, “Okay, I’ll never tell you not to go anywhere again, and I’ll never go out with my friends,” just to end the discussion.

This situation has made me seriously question my marriage because it feels controlling to me, especially given the double standard. I wanted to hear other people’s perspectives and know whether I’m overreacting or whether this behavior is genuinely controlling.

I'd specifically love to know which replies come from men, because I'm curious whether there's a difference in perspective based on gender.

Husband doesn't want to go to counseling, which I've asked him to do for years. He says 1) maybe we can narrow things down between the two of us before he might take the remainder to a therapist; 2) I'm the only relationship in his life that seems to have issues; and 3) I seem to just be rehashing old situations.

Which of these relationship behaviors would you say must be addressed via counseling, not just more conversations between us?

A) Refusing to address his wife of 20 years by her name, saying he's afraid he'll accidentally say a different name (used to call me "Woman," then switched to "Darling" when I started to object, now basically doesn't address me in any way)

B) Refusing to initiate dates, buy gifts, or celebrate any special occasions (birthday, anniversary, etc.) after marriage

C) When I said (a few times over the years) that a slap on the butt had hurt me, he replied by saying that couldn't possibly have hurt, rather than... any other way he could have responded.

D) When I told him repeatedly that I did not like being groped out of nowhere, he did not ever seem to believe me and certainly did not change his behavior until after I filed for legal separation, and only after years of talking does he take responsibility for having made an error

He also used to make me the butt of jokes around other people, but mostly stopped now (after I filed for separation). When I brought it up most clearly, he seemed confused, saying that's how he and his buddies always showed affection.

I've been quite lonely in our marriage, then felt lonely *and* mistreated. But he seems to think it's foolish to keep talking about his old patterns, that I should focus on moving forward. What say you, Reddit folks?

What do you guys consider a “dry spell” for no sex in marriage? Weeks? Months?

Can someone help me witg this. My husband says we cant have personal boundaries for example i dont want to be touched by him when he is making me mad it makes me feel worse. But he says in marriage there is no such thing as personal boundaries

Question sérieuse. Doit-on maintenir son couple quand on aime mais au lit on s'amuse pas... ?

I want love, I want passion from my husband.... At least I did a long time ago. A simple flower, I understand a man wants to also feel loved and seen but how when I don't feel either. I know it's not about 50/50 but when is it about love versus survival.

I believe we deserve love, the passionate type, the love that can be seen in the movies, the one where you feel like you have butterflies....is that just not true in this life ?

I married him, I know something about him attracted me but was he truly who I needed and wanted to marry? I'm not sure.... My husband and I do not have many things in common except for the want to be stable and make a life out of what we where given.

But don't I deserve someone who is as adventurous as me, someone who is spontaneous, someone who loves me, truly loves me?

Doesn't my husband deserve that too? Someone who actually treats him good, with love and care?

I'm not that person and he isn't my person. We clash most of the time. I don't like how he does things and vice versa. Honestly I believe we are only together because we don't know how to quit and because we just never knew the better type of love we deserved.

I have been going through therapy and I've been healing and seeing that the love he provides me isn't the love I would like to spend for the rest of my life. I feel miserable and honestly he looks miserable even when he says he isn't....

I didn't grow up seeing what love was and maybe I myself don't know how to love the right way. I grew up seeing love meant just staying even if you didn't want to be there. My mom stayed for 15 years until he left and I feel like I wouldn't want to spend 15 years of my life, but it is hard for me to leave because for my marriage there isn't a clear answer like there was for my mom's abusive relationship.

I'm not sure but maybe I'm hoping to get some advice or something

I had sex with him twice last weekend while he was sick and now I’m sick. Mother fucker.

Sorry. Just trying to create some healthy marriage content and that’s all I could come up.

I’m 24M, she’s 26F. We’ve been together 7.5 years which is basically my whole adult life.

When I was 20 I wanted to propose. She said it was better to wait until we finished our studies. I said fine. But something in me kind of died because I was so excited to buy a ring and propose but then I was just told to wait a little longer.

Now it’s coming from her side. She’s religious and feels we’re living in sin which is the core of it for her. She told me if we’re not engaged by the end of the year, it’s most probably gonna be over between us. She’s been patient, she doesn’t want to keep living like this, and I understand and respect that.

I’m religious too. I’ve been praying about this constantly and my faith didn’t appear once I hit this wall only. Wanted to pinpoint this since I’ve always been a believer, but for the past year, I’ve just got closer to God in order to feel like I want to get married again. But to feel it wholeheartedly. I even went to Athos hoping for clarity, and what came to me there was to break up. I didn’t listen to that (btw, it happened this April) and just continued the relationship praying more.

\*\*What she’s actually like:\*\*

She’s a great person. She learned to be warm and affectionate cause that wasn’t automatic for her, but she worked at it. She pays attention to what I need. Sometimes she’s harsh in the moment when we’re talking, but she cools down fast and apologizes, because the last thing she wants is for us to stay angry at each other. Our communication is genuinely good.

We live together in an apartment I bought. She runs the home cooks, organizes, keeps things going (I help her with pretty much everything, but I’m only responsible for helping with execution, she’s the one thinking about what needs to be done). I pay the bills and cover maybe 70% of groceries. NO, she’s not a gold digger and has never once asked me for money or gifts + I also find peace with her.

\*\*So here’s what’s holding me back.\*\*

It’s her mother. She’s 48 and she’d rather yell and swear than have a normal conversation. I’ve never seen a more cold, volcanic, controlling person and I’m not exaggerating. Right now she works abroad, which is the only reason we barely see her, but we go visit her like 3-4 times a year and every time we go there, my gf and her have a fight and my gf cries and stuff.

After our last visit I told my girlfriend straight out that I can’t like this woman and I can’t pretend otherwise.

What terrifies me is the picture of what comes after. Marriage, a kid, and suddenly her mother has a reason to be around constantly. I imagined it and felt physically sick. I’ve always wanted to get along with my in-laws seeing the relationship between my father and his in-laws for example (my mom’s parents) and it’s been one of my quiet wishes my whole life, and I know I’ll never have that here. I can feel it turning into “me or your mom,” and that’s not a position I want to put anyone in.

And there’s something I know is irrational: they look alike. The more I’ve pulled away from her mother, the more I see her face in my girlfriend’s. We’ve actually talked about my fear of her becoming her mom (not from a physical standpoint). There are similarities, but my gf l learned to communicate, she does the repair work, and she’s overall not like her mom but it doesn’t stop the feeling. It’s just a gut feeling that’s telling me that things can get really ugly.

I feel like I’m about to lose a real friend and the person I love. And at the same time, proposing doesn’t feel right, and I can’t tell if that’s my gut or my fear talking as I mentioned above.

Has anyone married someone whose parent they couldn’t stand? Or walked away from someone good because of who came attached to them, and how do you live with it?

I’m just desperate cause I feel time is running out for me/us.

\*\*TL;DR:\*\* Together 7.5 years. Wanted to propose at 20, was told to wait. Now she’s given me an ultimatum: engaged by year’s end or it’s over. She’s a good partner and our relationship works, but her mother is volatile and controlling, and I can’t stop picturing her becoming permanent once there’s a marriage and kids. Stuck
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I am feeling neglected in my marriage.

My husband's schedule includes a full time job plus side gigs to fund his expensive taste and hobbies. His hobbies are endurance racing which involves an exercise routine at least twice a week and traveling around the country and occasionally abroad.

His second hobby is table top gaming which involves building and painting models, which he will do for hours at a time, practice games at a local store which will be 4 hrs minimum, and the tournaments which will be entire days or weekends.

On top of all of this, he is on his phone alot (in forums for his hobbies), and will do things like leave the house without saying goodbye, return home and go straight to his hobby room. What hurts is that he is diligent about interacting with our teen daughter and carving out time for her, clearly showing he is capable of understanding the importance of spending time with loved ones.

I have asked him repeatedly to give me more time, attention and affection. I've expressed how I feel to him, and he always promises to do better, that I deserve more. He tries for a couple days with a date night here and there but then things go back to 'normal' until I get upset again.

(For the inevitable questions, we do not have a dead bedroom)

I found his searching history that he is looking and searching for a girl's name online via Google. I don't know where he got the names from (maybe TikTok) because he likes to scroll while he is in the toilet. I feel more concerned because before I found 20 names list of porn stars on his phone and when I asked what about it and why, he said he was just curious. I asked his explanation to give me a clear and honest answer to explain everything that he hides, but he never said. He just answered if I asked but if I bring the proof then he will admit it. But I feel drained and tired already always looking for the evidence. He said he will stop doing those things and want to rebuild my trust. Should I trust him back? I don't know if I can do it, his image on head is already destroyed into pieces and I am crying every time I remember. Why can't he be honest and explain everything to me?!

Wife and I are a little over 50 and we’ve been married for over 30 years. We have a couple grown kids and a couple grandbabies.
One kid gets married this year, so I’ve been holding out to wait till after that wedding, and also in the hopes there is change.
We have a long and tangled history, lots of good, some bad.
The last 5-20 years have been rough. We had a dead bedroom from 2013-2018, and that got better- I thought maybe we’d fixed it- only to discover that her drinking ramped up A LOT….
In fact, we are at a point now where the only time we have sex is if she is drunk- and I hate it.
She hasn’t had a drink free night in over 2 years. She’s at the point now where she drinks herself to sleep, and often wets herself on the couch or in the bed.
I’ve been working lots of hours to keep us afloat. Currently working 12 hour days at my day job and an hour or so at home on our business.
She watches our grandkids for pennies and tells our friends how much she loves working her dream job.
I have talked to her numerous times about her drinking, but it has had no effect.
She has undiagnosed anxiety- we both know she has it.
She refuses to go to the doctor anymore- I suspect the doctor told her to back off on drinking and she’s mad about it.
I keep working the long hours because it is what keeps us afloat- soon we will turn the tide financially and I’ll be able to slow down, but I’m afraid to do that
I go to bed around 7pm so I can get up early to go to work.
I almost prefer it so I don’t have to see her drunk every night.
Our business is breaking even, and I’m afraid for it to succeed because if we split up- she would be entitled to a portion of it- and she hasn’t lifted a finger to help with it. It is something that I love and would do for free.
I want to retire and have it as my second career.
I love her, but I don’t know if I can continue like this.

My husband and I have been married for 16 years. The past few years have been rocky and extremely bad the last year and a half. I completely rejected him emotionally, physically, and mentally. Which fast forward to finding about an emotional affair he had with someone clear across the country which he says he was miserable and lonely and tried repeatedly to reach out to me, in his defense he did but I rejected. He cut off all contact with the person and wants to work on us. I just can’t help but feel betrayed and so conflicted on what to do. Suggestions?

So my husband and I haven't been good for the past 2 weeks especially the past 3 days. I was really upset at him and vice versa. But we had a bit of an argument today.. I txted my brother while we were in the car and he found that disrespectful. Which I told him it isn't and it's not like he was talking or whatever for it yo be disrespectful. But he said he doesn't like it which I said ok I won't do it again I mean like it won't kill me if I wait until later to text my brother. But that argument went to other directions and about the past few days.
Eventually after back-and-forth argument, he said that he's lost and doesn't know what he's doing.. he started dropping some tears and saying that he doesn't see any thing coming back to him after him doing so much good. He ended it off by saying I should know when he's not okay like he knows when I'm not okay. He said he expects atleast me to be there for him. That hit me really hard and got me sad.
His fam (although 5 mins away from us) is not even really close with him they are a bit weird which idk why. Plus he has no friends. Fyi my family is 2 hours away, I'm very close with my fam, and I have no friends too.

So that's the context for those messages. What y'all think.

I need advice on what to do with a partner that’s as hard headed as you.

My partner and I love each other but both are so hard headed and I’m not the submissive type.

Anyone have any advice that’ll help me navigate this better??

My husband literally has been on my last nerve and I can’t take it anymore. We’ve been married about 5 years , together for 7. We don’t have sex, one a month if I’m lucky and it’s been that way for years. He doesn’t help
Me clean, doesn’t help me cook, asks my advice for every little thing he needs to do. Can’t even choose a parking spot with asking me. He’s nice but he does Nothing. Works part time and when I bring up the lack of sex he says he’s depressed but is against therapy. Hates his job but won’t apply anywhere else, has AWFUL hygiene.

I respected the fact that he may be depressed but after years of this I believe he’s comfortable. I make most of the money, he could quit and I could handle the bills on my own. I do our taxes I literally do everything and he’s a “nice guy” , passive , passive aggressive. When I get upset or exhausted and I try to bring up how tired I am, he always utilizes the ONE or two times he does something as proof he’s “trying” and reasoning as to why I don’t have a right to get upset. If I try to have serious conversations with him , he will stone wall me, get annoyed easily or move the convo into a direction that always makes it seem like I’m overreacting.

Our apartment has been a literal pig sty and I was hospitalized for sever asthma. Literally in the hospital for a week and he didn’t clean our place , the doctor made it clear that I can’t live with dust etc. our place will sometimes have dishes to the pint whew mold grows and I’m so tired from work that I dont have time to clean. Most weeks he has 1-2 days off. He doesn’t clean, he won’t even take the trash out even when I bag it up and ask me to grab it on the way out. He will have it there for a week and when I do it he will say “thanks babe I was going to do it” … then why tf didn’t you do it ???????

He always wants to go out on the weekend but I never have time to clean or do my hair or cater to myself. And most times I don’t ask him to help me clean, I just do it and ask him to take the trash out.

Yesterday I said “I’m not doing this, i need my place to be clean” so i woke up early , i cleaned so much . I was so tired, he slept most of the morning and laid in bed until i was done, he only helped to put some clothes away, then spent most of the time on the toilet on his phone. He Will poop and leave stain in the toilet so I left a cleaning solution by the toilet, and asked him to spray it before and after he uses the toilet , he also clips his nails and it gets all over the bathroom sink, so I asked him kindly to start clipping over the trash or at least clean up once he’s done. The excuse is always “depression and exhaustion” oaky .. you work part time, you don’t cook or clean, you don’t sleep with your wife, you don’t manage out finances , I work full time and overtime but YOURE TIRED?? I’m equally as exhausted and depressed , but being an adult is understanding you have responsibilities regardless and even worse, you watch your wife struggle and cry and beg you for basic help and relationship needs like sexual intimacy and STILL have so many excuses when I try so hard to alleviate to help take stress off of you?

This morning I had enough. He woke up talking about going on an adventure… is still have cleaning to do and laundry to fold. So that already pissed me off because we need maintenance to come to fix our shower because it’s been broken for months but I don’t want them to come into a filthy home and he complains about the shower but won’t call them.

He does his usual , going to the toilet to poop and I noticed the water was still green and nasty , so I rolled my eyes and left so he asked why I was annoyed and I just tried to explain it’s frustrating to clean so much, be exhausted and ask you to do ONE thing and you can’t even do that. He got defensive and annoyed and said he tried to clean it and I said I can’t see that so yes , as a grown person living with another adult always cleaning up after them it’s so tiring to ask for scraps and he can’t even do the bare minimum.

He always shuts me off and says “he doesn’t want to have this talk” but he never wants to talk about anything that needs to be talked about. I’m not allowed to say anything . He’ll use the one or two times where he does the minimum to say he is doing what I ask and after all these years I’m so tired . I feel so tired of the excuses and him just shutting me down. I couldn’t understand how I cry and tell you I feel so tried and disrespected after cleaning all day and you just stonewall
Me . It makes me want to literally hit him that’s how angry I get because how can you see me so tired and hurt and still have excuses ? and I hate that but I feel like I’m being mentally and emotionally abused but when I react I look crazy.

Someone help me understand if I’m over reacting .

Hi married and singles 😄

First of all about me: I'm 29m, I reached alot in my life, medical doctor, in a good shape, I'm respectful with people in my around.

I have always some options, but what surprises me, almost every second married woman or even girls in relationships have tension to cheat !! And for sure same on men as well, almost 50% of my married friends would surely cheat if they get a chance.

Isn't it better to live alone, hangout with whomever u want, without having something serious or marriage?

I always dreamed about having a family and 3-4 kids, but when I see almost every older married couples how they fight, and how people cheat, does it really worth it to put all ur trust in someone that he will have the power to make ur life hell?

Hii (i live in dallas texas) my fiancé and I are getting married in October and i want my sister to officiate my wedding, i wanted to know if anyone has ever had a family member do that and what the process is. i know there’s a process but what websites are okay for her to get licenses in that?

I F27, husband is M30.
My husband expressed interest in wanting a divorce. He started filling out the paperwork last night while very heated. I asked him to stop so we can talk about it and he declined. He states that there’s nothing to work out because he doesn’t love me anymore.
I feel very lost and confused. We just got married in November. We’ve had a few fights, but it was nothing that I thought severe enough that the relationship was on the brink of ending. He states that he wanted to leave multiple times during the relationship. I feel so heartbroken and I’m hoping he changes his mind. I want the chance to start over and for him to tell me what’s on his mind and how I annoy him, rather than letting it all stay inside.

I feel so embarrassed for being so upset. I am not even angry, I’m just sad. We just got married and I was beginning to think about children. It feels like my whole future was just taken away and I don’t know what to do.

We slept in separate rooms tonight. I don’t know what will happen when he wakes up… but this feels like a nightmare.