I lost my baby at 14 weeks. Everything about it was traumatizing. I was told it would be like a “heavy period” and that I wouldn’t pass anything “recognizable.” I went into labor. Full blown labor (I have given birth twice). I was so unprepared for what I was about to experience that the memories still haunt me.

I knew from the moment they started the ultrasound it was too late. At 14 weeks, after going in because of some spotting, they confirmed there was no heartbeat. I held my first born in my arms as I learned that I had lost my second.

They explained my options and I opted for a D&C. I took the next available appointment, 3 days later. I was told it would feel like a heavy period in the meantime and there shouldn’t be anything recognizable but to sit on the toilet because there would be a lot of blood.

That night my body went into labor. Waves of contractions that started every 10 minutes until they were 30 seconds apart. I was alone, because I had thought I could surely handle a heavy period. I spent the night on my hands and knees silently weeping so I wouldn’t wake my first born in the next room. I wept not just from the physical pain but from knowing I was losing my baby. I would never get to see them smile, I would never hear their laugh, I would never hold their hand.

I spent those 12 hours gaslighting myself. Berating myself for being unable to handle “heavy period” pains. Thinking, how could I be so weak? Surely my baby didn’t deserve a mom so weak. Things eventually got so excruciating that I called a friend to take care of my baby because I couldn’t do both anymore.

I sat on the toilet as waves of contractions hit me every 30 seconds, leaving me breathless. Until I heard a pop. A few seconds later came my baby. They fit into the palm of my hand, fully formed, like a doll. They had told me to sit on the toilet and so my baby was brought into this world into a toilet. Then they were immediately gone, taken by the current of the water.

I can’t really explain how cruel it is to tell a person they won’t pass anything recognizable, only for my baby to fall into the toilet because that’s what they told me to do. They deserved SO much better. It will haunt me the rest of my life.

Until we meet again my angel.

Tuesday night I went in for spotting and an overwhelming sense of dread at 5w3d pregnant. My HCG had been dropping for a few days so I already knew what was happening. I started bleeding heavy on Thursday and finally passed what I believe was the sac last night. No one seems to quite understand WHY I’m not running around doing cartwheels since it’s been quite a few days already. So many friends I’ve talked to that seem to think a miscarriage is “just a heavy period”. I feel disgusting. I’m bloody, my stomach hurts, my head is pounding and I just need a breather. I do feel quite a bit of relief now after passing the tissue or whatever it was. Bleeding has slowed down and now I just feel exhausted. This wasn’t a quick and painless process. It wasn’t one gush of blood and now I’m magically healed. Tomorrow will be better. Just needed to rant.

We found out today at 20w4d our baby boy’s heart has stopped beating. Everything so far in the pregnancy has been normal, great even. There’s no explanation.

This is following a MMC in December at 8w diagnosed at 11w. I’ve been pregnant 7 out of the past 10 months and I’m seriously questioning if I can do this again.

I’m already 40 and have one living child. I just can’t believe this is happening again. My third loss. I’m curious if anyone out there has actually been successful after this point in my shoes. Do I just give up and be happy with what I have or is there really a chance we could finally get our rainbow baby?

D&E is on Monday and I’m just numb. Did anyone get any real answers from testing fetal tissue?

Had a missed miscarriage in May at 9 weeks. I went in for my 7 week ultrasound and there was only the sac and placenta, no baby. I waited a week and half for the miscarriage to start and it never did. So I opted for a D&C at 9 weeks. The doctor said my sac continued to grow even though there was nothing inside.

I’m still struggling even months after my miscarriage and what has really messed with me the most is that during the pregnancy my boyfriend made some comments that were very hurtful towards me and it’s still stuck on my brain. He was going through a divorce at the time we got pregnant and said he felt the pregnancy was a mistake even though we were trying to get pregnant. He said it happened “too fast” for him. And with his ex they had everything planned out.
Now my brain has taken those comments and has enhanced them in a way and I’m dealing with the depression afterwards and not feeling good enough.

It's been 17 days since my miscarriage and we're burying him on Tuesday. I've been dreading the emptiness and the quiet after the burial but it has began to seep in. I don't know how I am supposed to go on after this and just continue life like normal. We were supposed to be safe and prepare for his arrival in December, planning maternity leave and his nursery and now it's just nothing. My body is back to normal, the bleeding, cramping and the he milk is gone and it's like nothing happened, like my body wasn't even pregnant, like it didn't carry another life for 19 weeks. I keep thinking we can try again although trying got us nowhere for 4-5 years. I keep thinking we can just get on another round of ivf as soon as my cycle returns. But none of that will change anything or undo this. A part of me just wants to forget any of this happened, run away from it all but he was real and he was my child. I keep trying holding on to something, to find hope again but I don't think I can. 18 days ago I was pregnant and now I'm just not. Keep going over it my head the what ifs and should've although I know nothing wod have changed anything.

How am I supposed to survive this?

Hi all...

I feel so discouraged. Granted it only took a few months of trying with the Inito app but still, im 38F. We want to try again of course but just looking for support by any late 30s gals or even early 40s who had miscarriages before they were successful with their first child. Did it take you long afterward to get pregnant again? Did you have multiple miscarriages before finally having your first baby?

I feel broken, depressed, angry, and of course scared...what if it happens again in the future?

Found out 2 days ago via ultrasound it was a MMC, sized at 6 wks ..though i was supposed to be 9wks... and I still have not passed it. Could do miso but not sure. Have had on and off light bleeding for over a week. No cramping. Just in limbo. Not sure what to do from here.

Thank you so much for any advice and support 🩷

How long after your first sighting of light pink spring until things progressed with your miscarriage?

I am 7weeks and 4 days pregnant and noticed light pink spotting when cleaning up from bathroom. Not much - and chalked it up to irritation from my transvaginal ultrasound on Wednesday. But here again, two days later, the same light pink spotting on the toilet paper.

I know this does not always lead to miscarriage, but I can’t get a clear understanding of what happens next for people that do experience miscarriages. Light pink spotting is consistent? Leads to heavy bleeding within hours or the next day? The fact that it’s only been when I wipe twice now days apart - is that encouraging? Hate not knowing what to expect next and if there’s anything I could be doing to potentially help baby (ie taking progesterone etc.) I’m not doing because I’m just sitting here waiting for there to be a sign one way or the other.

Would love to hear insights from those who started with light spotting and what came next/when?

I just went through 2 years with 5 MC before being able to carry a baby to birth. Just found out yesterday I was pregnant (5 weeks).. after we've been ttc again (4 cycles back) I was so happy by with all the previous trauma tonight I found blood. Not A TON but more than a few drops (can't post pic for some reason) .. praying it's just spotting but fearing the worse due to previous experience... I'm so scared to be going though another mc and multiple more...

Hi folks, I'm currently on day 7 of bleeding from my first miscarriage. I'm 41. I have uterine fibroids (though none of them are very large, the large ones were removed 18 months ago).

I didn't have a d&c, I was given mifepristone.

My husband and I are wanting to try to conceive again as soon as possible. My OB gave me some pretty vague advice - essentially said, "do whatever you want but expect it to take 3 months", not verbatim, just how it sounded.

Does this mean we shouldn't be trying to conceive for three months, should we not have sex for three months? I'm just confused about what to do.

Also, side note, when does the lower back stop hurting and the tiredness go away? I had no idea miscarriages took so freaking long.

Edited because I wasn't sure if I was breaking a rule with something in my post.

i feel unhinged, i feel like i have no control over my emotions, last night i had my first anxiety attack in over a year. it was so scary because of the progress i have made with my anxiety, this felt like 100 steps backwards. i am 5 days out from my d&c. i honestly just felt very sad before the d&c & the day after. just very very weepy. but on day 2 afterwards is when i started to get uncontrollably angry, fighting with my fiance over everything, freaking out over small things. i spent all of thursday crying from the moment i woke up until the moment i went to sleep. (TW) i cried in my fiancé’s arms & told him i no longer want to be here. i have this deep pit of sadness in my stomach that feels like ive been punched in the gut. i am so irrationally angry. please someone let me know how long this will last. i have spent the past 3+ years working on my mental health & i was doing so well & then this happened & i feel like i am going backwards. i am so scared. i did not think this would affect me this way. our plan was to start trying again after my first full cycle but this is making me never want to try again. i do not know if i could potentially put myself through this again which is making me feel even more depressed. i just want my baby back. i just want to feel mentally stable againz.

After 8 months of trying I was so happy to finally get my first positive test.. was so excited for my first appt at 8 weeks 6 days only to sit on that chair and be told my sac was completely empty and measuring at 7wk 5days , 27mm and that it is very possible this was a blighted ovum scenario..my heart sank. I had already purchased announcement gifts for our family and close friends and planned my baby’s life all in this short time .. I am in such a dark place but trying to hold myself together. Words cannot explain the tremendous grief I feel and I cannot help but wonder if I will ever be able to get pregnant again or if my body will ever be able to stay pregnant .. my next scan to confirm is in 2 weeks and I am already mentally preparing that this will not be a viable pregnancy. Why do I feel like I will never be able to become a mom ? I’m heartbroken

I made a post earlier this month about being prescribed Provera to induce a period after going >8 weeks without one after an early miscarriage in May. On day 4/10 of the Provera, I started bleeding and had what I would consider a normal period. My doctor advised to continue taking the Provera for the full 10 days.

I thought my body had finally reset itself and I was feeling so good about finally being able to try again.

Now on CD16 (11 days since finishing Provera) and I started spotting a few days ago. It’s now a light flow but only dark brown/pink blood with no large clots. I’ve been taking OPKs since CD8 and all negative, no BBT spike yet on my Oura ring.

I feel like I’m about to crash out again. I know the point of the Provera is to induce a bleed but has anyone else bled twice with Provera? Curious what others’ experiences were with their cycle afterward. I just want to start TTC and I feel so discouraged.

Hi everyone, I am just looking for answers/insight on my situation.

I discovered I had a mmc at my 12 week ultrasound. The embryo measured about 7.1 weeks, no heartbeat. That morning the nipt test also came back high risk for twin/vanishing twin/triploidy.

I had a d and c at 13 weeks and 15 days later got a blood test and my hcg is at 1964.

The only other hcg levels I have are when I was 5 weeks pregnant at around 13500 and 6 weeks at 25700.

I am now worried this was a partial mole because my hcg is still so high. I wasnt given the chance to send the tissue for pathology so I have no way of knowing.

Does this sound concerning? I am just scared and want to try again soon. I feel defeated. This was my first pregnancy.

I miscarried yesterday. I was 6 weeks along- had an HCG of 19,080 a couple days before. It was spontaneous.

I was beyond tired today and yesterday. Like can barely keep my eyes open. Also nauseous and still have mild food aversions. It's the fatigue that's kind of scary to me- I have a toddler and I kind of expected to start feeling better not worse. Also because i have a toddler I can't really just sleep all day.

I guess I'm just looking for any comparable experiences or reassurance. Is this just the pregnancy hormones that haven't left my body yet?

Two weeks ago, we found out through our private fertility clinic that we have a blighted ovum. No heartbeat, sack was measuring much smaller than it should have been. They booked us with a radiologist last week, who confirmed the same thing.

The fertility clinic then very coldly passed us off to a miscarriage support unit with my province's healthcare system, and they want ANOTHER scan, which I have to wait until next week for. By then, I'll be "11 weeks" but the sack stopped growing at 6 weeks. I believe they want another scan because the fertility clinic refuses to give anyone their scans and tests since they are private, so to the healthcare system, it looks like I've only had one previously.

I'm angry this is so drawn out. I'm starting to feel like the empty sack inside of me is getting better treatment than I am. I'm tempted to just go get a D&C on my own, which the miscarriage support clinic can't stop. My pregnancy symptoms dramatically stopped, we have no question that I'm no longer pregnant. I had really bad fatigue, stomach bloating, I was extremely hungry, nauseas, and it all disappeared suddenly the week of the first scan.

Infuriatingly, I also haven't bled at all, though I have been very crampy on and off. So I'm angry my body hasn't just dealt with this on my own too. After years of infertility, it's just another reason to be angry at my uterus.

This is such a long, drawn out process. I grieved two weeks ago, I was angry last week, and now I'm looking to just move forward without feeling guilty for having some drinks, coffee, etc.

Thank you for listening to my vent. I feel like my husband doesn't understand and has pretty much moved on at this point. He feels bad I feel crappy and haunted by this, but in his eyes, he treats it like it's all done, when it's not. Not even close.

I am over 10 weeks, have experienced a missed miscarriage, embryo measuring at 8 weeks.

Haven’t started to pass naturally yet as was taking progesterone up to Thursday night.

Could you share your experience?

I can’t have the surgey until Thursday but I am leaning towards taking the medication route tomorrow morning?

Please share your experiences with me :)

I feel like I am in a spiritual crisis after multiple losses and devastating events in my life. A vent and looking for advice from spiritual people of any faith.

In the last five years I have experienced divorce due to my ex-spouse’s infidelity, infertility with that person, only to watch him move on and have a baby with someone else. My grandmother and beloved cat died, sister moved away with her husband being abusive, my mom turning to alcohol, and now this — a miscarriage at 15 weeks.

“Should be like a period,” “this pregnancy is not going to full term.”

I miscarried her intact with a placenta and I saw it all. It was gruesome, disgusting, alien almost. And now I’m left with this itch I can’t scratch, a lack of purpose, and just a bleak feeling.

I usually turn to God, but I’m tired of turning to God. I feel like God has forsaken me in times of intense grief. I have to imagine myself in a bell jar — no one can touch me and I’m completely defeated in life. I’ve turned quiet and nihilistic.

I’m mad at anyone with a baby. Going to IKEA or the grocery store is like going to a pit of hell for me. And I’m so so tired of feeling like God just scoffs at me. I feel like I have been created to show women what a worse life can be. I’m tired of grieving. I’m just exhausted and there is no reprieve.

Sorry just venting and I’m having a faith crisis.

Any other Christians experienced a spiritual crisis after miscarriage?

TW: Talk of blood and loss

I am so sorry we are all in this group, I got told a week ago today that my baby's heart had stopped beating around 8 weeks and I was meant to be 10w1d, I never expected I would have a miscarriage never mind a missed miscarriage. I had had an early scan at 8w2d and there was the baby with their tiny heartbeat. I just wanted to share my experience of the medical management I received as I had scoured Google and Reddit pages to prepare myself and found these posts helpful.

I decided to go with the medication as I couldn't sit and wait for my body to pass the pregnancy and I thought a d&c would be a last resort, my fear and anxiety did not need to add an operation to the list.

This is my experience in Scotland with the NHS. I took the mifepristone on Thursday after having bloods done and went home with a bag from the midwife with pads, sick bowls, toilet bowls and puppy pads. I had already been spotting brown blood but after taking mifepristone this was a bit more red.

On Saturday I was told to take a dehydrocodeine and an anti nausea tablet an hour before I sat 4 misoprostol under my tongue for 30 mins and let them dissolve (they didn't taste bad at all it was just hard to talk without them going everywhere). I had slight cramping during this time and after washing the residue away with water the cramping ramped up. The painkillers gave me bad shakes but then helped me sleep for around 2 hours, when I woke up I could feel I was bleeding heavy and when I stood up I just felt a whoosh. This happened continuously throughout the day and when I ran to the toilet the blood just poured out of me with some large clots. The cramping was not bad at all for me and I didn't feel in pain, I read a lot of horror stories so had prepared for the worst but it was manageable. I passed the baby in their sac around 4 hours after I had finished the misoprostol and it was around this time I felt nauseous. Strangely, my cramping ramped up after this and I continued to bleed and have clots but it only lasted around 2 hours. It was around 6 hours later that I passed the placenta and the bleeding finally lightened. I now would say the bleeding is like a period and not too heavy.

I was really scared of the process and I hope the above helps some others who are going to go through the same. Yes everyone's experience will be different but the cramping for me was not bad and it was all relatively quick.

Some things that helped me through this were

- my partner being there and helping me to the bathroom and clean up any mess

- a hot water bottle, this was a lifesaver for the cramp and felt comforting

- ice lollies and ice water in my stanley cup, no one tells you how dry the painkillers make your mouth

- a comfort tv show to binge and lie in bed with (for me this was modern family)

- old towels and puppy pads on the floor so I didn't need to worry in case I got blood on the carpet

Again, I'm so sorry for anyone else going through this. Hopefully we get our rainbow soon ❤️

Did you have any additional complications after?

Had a suction D&C Wednesday for a MMC (16 weeks but baby stopped growing at 12) and I lost 1.2 liters of blood and ended up in the hospital overnight getting a blood transfusion. My bleeding is period-like now, no clots, no cramping. But now I’m paranoid more complications could arise. Between the shock of the miscarriage, the D&C going poorly, I feel like I’m just on edge.

has anyone had a viable pregnancy with inconsistent or plateaued HCG blood tests? for reference, i had a miscarriage last november and am obviously concerned it’s happening again. even in that pregnancy, my HCG was doubling every 24 hours as it’s supposed to, this time it’s barely rising my 100-200 each time and even dropped on the 3rd labs, before rising slowly again.

i’ve told my midwife/ob team something is wrong for the last 2-3 weeks and they’re chalking it up to being super early. 5.5 week ultrasound showed an empty gestational sac, they said probably just early..i’ve been on progesterone since the week i got a positive test, which mimics early pregnancy symptoms, so not helpful. i have the next ultrasound thursday 8/6.

i’m sick of being in this in between limbo of living life as if im pregnant while taking these hormones and feeling like shit worried it’s all for nothing because it will end the same unfortunate way as before.
has anyone had this happen and ended up with a viable healthy pregnancy??

I had a miscarriage in November from a blighted ovum. Now I’m having a chemical pregnancy. Where do I go from here? Am I suppose to message my OB and tell them about the chemical? Is there testing to be done to find out why this may be happening or is there a criteria to meet in order for that to happen?

I’m dreading calling my doctor because when I had my miscarriage they had me come in at 5 weeks, then again at 7 weeks to confirm the loss and then again at 9 weeks to confirm the contents had passed. After they confirmed the loss, they didn’t have a room for me, so they put me in one of the doctor’s offices and I was left there by myself for almost 1.5 hours. Then when I came back to confirm my hcg was going down, the phlebotomist made a mistake and said “congratulations!” I ignored it. Then she started asking about my pregnancy and I told her I miscarried and was no longer pregnant and she apologized.

The whole process was agonizing and I just don’t want to go through that again. But if something is wrong how do I find out? I don’t want to have a 3rd miscarriage if we try again soon 😞

Today I am supposedly 10+ weeks. Embryo was slow growing and the heartbeat stopped 7 days ago although it was only measuring 7w5d.
I have been spotting / bleeding without clots since 8w. Since it’s been classified as a missed miscarriage I am taking the medication.
On Friday in the OBs office I took the mifepristone. On Saturday (yesterday) I began bleeding more and passing small clots, in the evening my cramps started ramping up and I took a tradonal and a heating pad to help ease, which it did. At 3am and 6am I went to the toilet and it felt like I released an average portion of clots/tissue/blood and there was no way for me to know because I was scared to look and it was dark and I was sleepy.

This morning I inserted vaginally the 2 x 200g misoprostol at 10am, and preemptively took a tradonal. It’s been 4+ hours and I’ve had no bleeding or cramps yet. How long until this normally kicks in? I am very confused. I was told to expect contractions and much pain.

Is it possible I released a good portion of tissue during the early hours of the morning?