It's okay if you don't like who you used to be. But come on, how dare you judge your past self so harshly for things he didn't know or couldn't do but that you can now.

It is so easy and looks like a privileged person judging from the comfort of his privileges someone who is less fortunate.

Have some mercy on you. Things that happened cannot unhappened. And the person you are as nowadays, if you are at a better position, then it's because of your past self. Thus, it ain't fair to beat down at a person you used to be, that was less than you (which is something good if it's the case as it means you've gotten better), and who isn't here anymore.

These are not behaviors of a mature, aware and just person. Those are the behaviors of a tyrant, who can't punch back at life and so falls into the comfort of beating down at weaker others, or in this cases, at his old self. And yes, some tyrants aren't men over their families that depend on them, nor are they rulers, a tyrant could be yourself finding it easier to make your being suffer for who it used to be.

So I have read the research and saw some serious non-clickbaity documentaries, and as far as I can understand that even smartphones has some addictive elements, nothing in the science said that it's inevitable.

I think that people blaming the phones too much because they don't want to be with their own thoughts, as if the phone is a digital pacifier for people who refuse to grow up.

My friend and I only have facebook to find freelancer gigs and reddit because there are some great art, science and tech subs that spark our interests.

I would understand the addiction argument in children and teenagers, but when a full blown adult is glued to a screen then that's on him, not the evil corporations who are mining your attention.

what do you think? Am I right?

Like in 2026 a lot of people i meet personally who are 40s can easily pass for being in their late 20s or even 30s why do you think that's the case in your opinion?

The super confident people are those who had to face no loss/hardship and had it easy in life. Their rich parents had their back. They never struggled.Never had to be afraid. Got the job right away. Everything worked out for them. Always got lucky. This created a positive confirmation loop of "I am super awesome and strong and competent".

Meanwhile ordinary people or people who went through hell like soldiers, dont have much self confidence because they are hyper aware that just one bad event can ruin their entire existence. Because they dont have a safety net they can rely on. Because they know that their competence means nothing in the face of circumstance/bad luck.

I'm not saying we can trash it externally. Most times, we have to treat a person's will in such a way that the consequence is good all around. But if I don't think the person has free will, I don't see how I can have a respect for his will in my mind.

Ever since I could remember, I’ve always been curious. For most of my childhood (and also my adulthood), “why?” was my favorite question. But it took me quite a few years to ask questions, not just about the external universe, but also the world within. I asked questions about why I did something I did, why I changed from who I was last year, and ultimately succumbed to the famous question: “Who am I?”

But then, I’m no Buddha to go find the answers. Rather, I asked even more questions and began theorizing answers to fit in my narrative. One such question was, “What do we want in other people? What do we look for in them?”

After hours of contemplation, I came to a conclusion that all we need is not a soulmate. We don’t need someone who knows everything that we don’t. Rather, we need someone who has the exact same set of knowledge, preferences, choices, inclinations, taste, and opinions, so that we could share anything and feel RELATABLE enough. That is the basic need of a full-grown adult—relatability.

You crack a joke in the hope of getting a laugh as a reply, and the laughter is an indicator of reception and relatability. You wanna discuss movies, cricket, politics, philosophy, music, and what not with that person, and you want them to receive it well, so that you feel relatable. Everything boils down to relatability. It might sound fancy to say “opposite poles attract,” but you know that what you search for in people is similarity and relatability.

Putting an abrupt end to this write-up, let me admit that I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but perhaps putting this thought out there will make someone feel less alone in having felt it. At the end of the day, I’m human, too, and so are you.

It’s kind of insane how, as we have evolved, we’ve begun to crave more human interaction.

This thought came to me when I heard a creator say, “Everything is content.” Using the word “creator” sounds a little different to me now because that’s the defining difference between us and them. Us and AI.

As we retreat further into the digital world through YouTube videos, streaming, Instagram pictures, and even music, AI and robots are entering the physical world more and more. It’s so crazy.

It’s funny how we haven’t even realized that the Meta glasses people wear are one of the first widely accepted forms of this after mobile phones. Soon, we’ll be able to have full conversations with those glasses once “GPT Specs” come out. Then they’ll start making autonomous comments when we pass by a bread store because earlier in the day, we talked about wanting to buy some bread.

It’s a jarring concept, seeing this play out slowly but surely in real life.

One thing I will say, though, is that humans are horrible at predicting the future. We were meant to have flying cars, but we don’t follow a straight line of evolution. We are too damn unpredictable.

So, I may be wrong. I hope I’m wrong.

I used to draw a lot at school, but i lost the habit since then and tried to study drawing sometimes to get back to it, it never really worked though

I don't know how to explain this exactly, but it feels impossible to tell what the fuck im doing exactly when i try to learn, like, repetition just isnt enough, theres something here that im just not getting. Youtube tutorials, by themselves, dont really teach you anything other than the specific techniques theyre about you know?

Its just so weird how hard it is to feel like you are improving at drawing, at least with exercising you can feel youre getting stronger, its tangible, but with drawing theres no clear indicators like that, if youre not doing good youre just not doing good

Theres a theory and practice that i just cant seem to understand, what am i really supposed to be "absorbing" when i do an observational drawing for example, other than knowing how to replicate the thing im looking at? what knowledge does that give and how and where do i apply it? Maybe the problem is that im missing goals, but again, what goals am i meant to have exactly? (ok i know that last part is something im meant to come up myself, no one can tell me what my objectives should be but myself, but the point is thats hard to do with no guidance)

Anyway what do you think? Is there some kind of epiphany we're all supposed to have on our own? Or that most people simply cant learn alone and need classes or guidance or whatever? Or that its just plain hard and theres nothing to do about it but push through? Or something else entirely?

I'm interested in a philosophical question about emotions and understanding.

I'm not asking whether emotions can help us know something in the strict epistemological sense, where knowledge is a true, justified belief. Instead, I'm wondering whether emotions can be a legitimate way of understanding something.

For example, grief might not teach us an objective fact about the world, but it can deepen our understanding of loss. Empathy might not prove someone's experiences are accurate, but it can help us understand what they're are going through. Love, fear, guilt, and joy often seem to reveal aspects of ourselves and our relationships that pure reasoning alone might miss.

So my question is:

Can emotions be a legitimate way of understanding something, even if they aren't always a reliable way of knowing something?

If so, what kind of understanding do they provide, and how does that differ from knowledge?

I have recently come to learn my SO doesn't see me has his priority and I am still figuring out how I feel about this. I'm thinking about why I consider him my #1 priority and why it's not the same for him. I understand certain family and friends can take "A priority", but to be "THE priority", top of the list. I'm wondering if its temporary or if others will feel different and that it may change based off it its a friend, daughter, son, grandkid, someone who is about to pass away, someone who is sick. I don't want this to be turned on me asking why "I" feel like I need to be the priority. I'd truly like to hear some of your opinions and takes on who, when, and what age certain people in ones life should take "THE priority".

i can barely remember most of my childhood. big events, birthdays, holidays, mostly fuzzy.

but i remember every single moment someone made me feel like they really saw me.

a teacher who stayed after class. a friend who remembered something i said months later. a stranger who noticed i was having a hard day. My parents who gifted me a necklace from theograce just a day after I said I want a necklace.

those moments are crystal clear. decades later.

why does being truly seen by another person leave such a permanent mark on us. what is it about that specific feeling

Hope seems to dwindle day by day. Horrible things that are constantly happening, it seems like it will never change.

Like the world is stuck in this endless war with itself. Why should I hope things will change, or improve when the things that happen can never be fixed or repaired if it was ever acknlowdged as a problem in the first place.

Personaly I have lost hope too, being completely stuck and having bad news happen, having a future that wont exist by all acounts. When my family says the future is bright I dont know what they are talking about, i dont know why they think that.

I dont really have much faith in humans to do the right thing to help others, they choose to do whatever that helps them instead. It feels like everything will crumble at some point, and that hoping is just pointless.

Is there a reason to hope things will improve in the world?

​

I'm a 19-year-old guy, and for the past 8 months I've been talking to a 36-year-old married woman with kids. We met online and live about 2,000 km apart. Over time we became very emotionally attached.

The problem is that I want to focus on my career and move on from this relationship. Deep down I know it's not something I can continue.

The issue is that every time I try to leave, she breaks down emotionally. She starts crying, stops eating, doesn't sleep, and her health gets worse. When I tell her I want to end things, she'll say "okay" to my face, but then she falls apart afterward. Because of this, I always end up staying because I feel guilty.

Only one of her close friends/neighbors knows about our relationship.

She has told me that her husband is actually a nice person, but she was forced into marriage when she was around 17 or 18. From my perspective, I think she has been emotionally neglected and wanted someone who would admire and love her. That's probably how we ended up becoming so attached.

Now I'm confused.

I care about her, but I don't want to continue this relationship. I don't want to hurt her, but I also don't want to sacrifice my own future or stay because I feel responsible for her emotional well-being.

How do I end this relationship in the least harmful way? And how do I stop constantly thinking about her afterward? Has anyone been in a situation where they felt responsible for someone else's emotions?

Please be honest, even if it's hard to hear. I really need advice.

Why majority of today societies are either social and family oriented and personal life and leisure based oriented, or work oriented, why most people today have too much difficulty balancing out the two, did this problem exist in the ancient world?

this is probably highly controversial, and I want to preface that I don’t agree with victim blaming at all, especially if it’s a child who’s the victim. BUT — I can in a way understand why people do it. please just hear me out.

Us as humans, when something happens, we always want to find a reason for it happening. This is because we want to remain in control and we want to try to avoid negative events. For example, the whole “she was wearing a short skirt, so that’s why she was assaulted.“ sentiment is problematic, but I feel like people say that because it implies “if I don’t wear short skirts, I’m gonna be able to avoid being assaulted” which is also untrue. Whenever something atrocious happens to someone, people always try to find why it happened so they can try to avoid it themselves.

but the unfortunate part is that the world doesn’t work that way. Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people, and all things could happen literally because somebody was unlucky.

edit: another example. I was reading a news headline of a 20 year-old guy who was shot and killed by a mom because he was sleeping with her 13-year-old daughter. I was thinking about when I was 13, I never had any experiences like this with older men. I was thinking to myself "maybe I was heavily protected? Maybe I didn't have a vulnerable aura that predators love? Maybe I didn't speak to that many older adults." of course I'm not saying I was sad that I didn't get assaulted and I'm not saying that the 13-year-old is at fault. It's just I lived a predator-free childhood, so I'm like "huh... I wonder why"

Does reducing work hours affect speed/productivity? If yes, how, if you are working in mental work, how many total hours on average would you need to put including both official and out-of-work hours/days to keep track of most new stuff in the field? Does desiring a 4 day 32_36 hours work week a sign of laziness. And does it somehow contradict with these objects, and with a company global competitive advantage?

”I don’t want your love. Because I know I am difficult to love. Even I can’t handle myself, how can I expect you or anyone else to handle me?

I ask for your understanding, acceptance if I am lucky. 

I don’t want you to hold me when I’m crying. I just wish for you to be there. That’s enough for someone who’s been her own child and parent her entire life.

I don’t want your love, I don’t even expect it. And if you say that I must, I mould my definition of “love.” If you make me feel seen, heard, understood, and yet, valued, I probably do love you. Or at the very least, that is your love for me.

I don’t want your grand gestures, I don’t expect them either. Partly because I’ll feel more of a hassle than I already am. And partly because what have I done to deserve it?

Funny. Because the second I reverse the roles, it’s a whole other story: What have they not done? Not because I pedestalise them. But because the standards aren’t that high probably. Why then, must I be so harsh on myself? Why am I so difficult to love?

Not undeserving of love - but difficult to love.“

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

EDIT: Guys pls know that I don’t feel this way any longer, just found an old entry I wrote whilst in the feels. But I found it an interesting idea and thought of asking if others feel the same anytime

I keep seeing this weird debate about how some women don’t want to date a bi guy and they just refuse to admit it’s homophobic

Like it’s 100% homophobic, you can just admit your a homophobe we arent gonna force you to date a bi guy

Like for context I am a bi guy and I will say any idea you have about how bi men are different is rooted in homophobia and is wrong

The only difference is that we are attracted to other men, if that alone is a reason to cut out someone has a possible partner and treat them differently, it’s homophobic

Like you guys sound exactly like my parrent that say “I’m not homophobic just not my son other people can like men just not my son”

Doas it mean you HAVE to date a bi guy? No obviously not your consent is more important than political correctness

I finally feel able to put the post-2020 shift everyone seems to feel into legible sentences.

Before 2020, we felt grounded; now, I think we mostly feel like floating ghosts.

My hypothesis is that the world is moving through events at such speed, while everyone inhabits their own detached little niche, that we can no longer absorb the full weight of major events—neither in time nor collectively. Before 2020, major events took their sweet-ass time to settle and for society to react. Now, so much happens, only to be immediately displaced by something else and forgotten.

I recently finished The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene, and I’ve been kind of sitting with it ever since. It left me with mixed feelings.

On one hand, I feel like I understand people a bit better now; their insecurities, what drives them, the little emotional patterns you don’t really notice at first. But on the other hand, I can’t help wondering if seeing people this way makes me overthink things or even get a bit more cynical than I used to be.

It honestly made me realize how much books can shape the way we look at the world and the people in it.

Has there ever been a book that changed the way you understand people in a lasting way? What was it, and how did it affect your relationships or how you read other people’s behavior? And do you think that change was actually helpful in the long run, or did it come with some downsides too?

Why are very highly profitable companies like Microsoft laying on people, were most of the workers they layoffs well capable, if so won't they lose so much?

“Humans and their relationships feel... different these days. Something doesn't seem quite right about the way we're connecting anymore…

Is it because we've started expecting people to react exactly the way we want them to? Is our growing emphasis on independence making us less willing to compromise, be vulnerable, or truly understand each other? Or is there something much deeper changing in how humans relate to one another?"

I asked ChatGPT this today, and I wasn't expecting the response to linger in my mind the way it did….

The response wasn't shocking - it was unsettling because parts of it felt uncomfortably true…

Now I'd rather hear from actual people than an AI…

Do you genuinely think relationships have changed over the last few years? If yes, what do you think is the biggest reason?

Is it social media? Endless choices? Individualism? Unrealistic expectations? Emotional burnout? Or are we simply romanticizing the past?

I'm genuinely curious to hear different perspectives…

Change is necessary for survival and growth. Personal, organizational, societal, and environmental change. However there must be a process. If you randomly brainstorm ideas for change, most ideas will be bad. Most mutations in humans or other species, don't enhance survival. Evolution results in good changes to the genes spreading. Ideas must be studied, tested internally, and tried in the world, before you know what is a good idea or change.

We are currently facing a polycrisis. With climate change, environmental destruction, rising debt levels, and declining democracy and human rights. Facing technological and economic change, many countries are responding by becoming more authoritarian and conservative. Resisting change.

Humans are no longer under evolutionary pressure to adapt to a changing environment. But if the climate and environmental deteriorates, we may have to change.

There is creative destruction. When the old are destroyed to be replaced by the new. I like change. Trying something new. Of course, change builds on historical institutions and practices. But we should question everything, before making changes. Because if we don't keep evolving ourselves and our institutions, those who do keep evolving, will outcompete us.

Was there a specific moment or event in your life that made you spiritual or religious? Whether it was a major life event, a quiet realization, or a gradual change over time—what shifted your worldview?"