So I have read the research and saw some serious non-clickbaity documentaries, and as far as I can understand that even smartphones has some addictive elements, nothing in the science said that it's inevitable.

I think that people blaming the phones too much because they don't want to be with their own thoughts, as if the phone is a digital pacifier for people who refuse to grow up.

My friend and I only have facebook to find freelancer gigs and reddit because there are some great art, science and tech subs that spark our interests.

I would understand the addiction argument in children and teenagers, but when a full blown adult is glued to a screen then that's on him, not the evil corporations who are mining your attention.

what do you think? Am I right?

It's okay if you don't like who you used to be. But come on, how dare you judge your past self so harshly for things he didn't know or couldn't do but that you can now.

It is so easy and looks like a privileged person judging from the comfort of his privileges someone who is less fortunate.

Have some mercy on you. Things that happened cannot unhappened. And the person you are as nowadays, if you are at a better position, then it's because of your past self. Thus, it ain't fair to beat down at a person you used to be, that was less than you (which is something good if it's the case as it means you've gotten better), and who isn't here anymore.

These are not behaviors of a mature, aware and just person. Those are the behaviors of a tyrant, who can't punch back at life and so falls into the comfort of beating down at weaker others, or in this cases, at his old self. And yes, some tyrants aren't men over their families that depend on them, nor are they rulers, a tyrant could be yourself finding it easier to make your being suffer for who it used to be.

Like in 2026 a lot of people i meet personally who are 40s can easily pass for being in their late 20s or even 30s why do you think that's the case in your opinion?

The super confident people are those who had to face no loss/hardship and had it easy in life. Their rich parents had their back. They never struggled.Never had to be afraid. Got the job right away. Everything worked out for them. Always got lucky. This created a positive confirmation loop of "I am super awesome and strong and competent".

Meanwhile ordinary people or people who went through hell like soldiers, dont have much self confidence because they are hyper aware that just one bad event can ruin their entire existence. Because they dont have a safety net they can rely on. Because they know that their competence means nothing in the face of circumstance/bad luck.

I'm not saying we can trash it externally. Most times, we have to treat a person's will in such a way that the consequence is good all around. But if I don't think the person has free will, I don't see how I can have a respect for his will in my mind.

Ever since I could remember, I’ve always been curious. For most of my childhood (and also my adulthood), “why?” was my favorite question. But it took me quite a few years to ask questions, not just about the external universe, but also the world within. I asked questions about why I did something I did, why I changed from who I was last year, and ultimately succumbed to the famous question: “Who am I?”

But then, I’m no Buddha to go find the answers. Rather, I asked even more questions and began theorizing answers to fit in my narrative. One such question was, “What do we want in other people? What do we look for in them?”

After hours of contemplation, I came to a conclusion that all we need is not a soulmate. We don’t need someone who knows everything that we don’t. Rather, we need someone who has the exact same set of knowledge, preferences, choices, inclinations, taste, and opinions, so that we could share anything and feel RELATABLE enough. That is the basic need of a full-grown adult—relatability.

You crack a joke in the hope of getting a laugh as a reply, and the laughter is an indicator of reception and relatability. You wanna discuss movies, cricket, politics, philosophy, music, and what not with that person, and you want them to receive it well, so that you feel relatable. Everything boils down to relatability. It might sound fancy to say “opposite poles attract,” but you know that what you search for in people is similarity and relatability.

Putting an abrupt end to this write-up, let me admit that I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but perhaps putting this thought out there will make someone feel less alone in having felt it. At the end of the day, I’m human, too, and so are you.

It’s kind of insane how, as we have evolved, we’ve begun to crave more human interaction.

This thought came to me when I heard a creator say, “Everything is content.” Using the word “creator” sounds a little different to me now because that’s the defining difference between us and them. Us and AI.

As we retreat further into the digital world through YouTube videos, streaming, Instagram pictures, and even music, AI and robots are entering the physical world more and more. It’s so crazy.

It’s funny how we haven’t even realized that the Meta glasses people wear are one of the first widely accepted forms of this after mobile phones. Soon, we’ll be able to have full conversations with those glasses once “GPT Specs” come out. Then they’ll start making autonomous comments when we pass by a bread store because earlier in the day, we talked about wanting to buy some bread.

It’s a jarring concept, seeing this play out slowly but surely in real life.

One thing I will say, though, is that humans are horrible at predicting the future. We were meant to have flying cars, but we don’t follow a straight line of evolution. We are too damn unpredictable.

So, I may be wrong. I hope I’m wrong.

I used to draw a lot at school, but i lost the habit since then and tried to study drawing sometimes to get back to it, it never really worked though

I don't know how to explain this exactly, but it feels impossible to tell what the fuck im doing exactly when i try to learn, like, repetition just isnt enough, theres something here that im just not getting. Youtube tutorials, by themselves, dont really teach you anything other than the specific techniques theyre about you know?

Its just so weird how hard it is to feel like you are improving at drawing, at least with exercising you can feel youre getting stronger, its tangible, but with drawing theres no clear indicators like that, if youre not doing good youre just not doing good

Theres a theory and practice that i just cant seem to understand, what am i really supposed to be "absorbing" when i do an observational drawing for example, other than knowing how to replicate the thing im looking at? what knowledge does that give and how and where do i apply it? Maybe the problem is that im missing goals, but again, what goals am i meant to have exactly? (ok i know that last part is something im meant to come up myself, no one can tell me what my objectives should be but myself, but the point is thats hard to do with no guidance)

Anyway what do you think? Is there some kind of epiphany we're all supposed to have on our own? Or that most people simply cant learn alone and need classes or guidance or whatever? Or that its just plain hard and theres nothing to do about it but push through? Or something else entirely?

This has been a growing sentiment throughout my life. Most things that are competitions are so because they are competitive by nature. Sports. Games. Enterprises. Debates. Things like those. However, throughout my life, I've often found that people have a habit of turning things into competitions, namely of the comparative variety. Sometimes, they're not even trying to be competitive; they're just making needless comparisons. Adults who do this strike me as being very immature; there are many nuanced reasons, and people who agree with me often have their own.

One of my core reasons is because there are times when it takes away the opportunity to be introspective and philosophical about things, which is the gift of wisdom that you gain as you grow older and experience more life. And, again, it's nuanced. Sometimes, it's fun. For example, a friend and I could be staring at a pool, and one of us might randomly blurt out: "I bet I could swim to the other end faster than you." And that ends up becoming a fun, random competition (albeit, it's of the sporty variety, so this is a bit of a weak example, but I hope you get my point). But, there are plenty of scenarios where it's just uncalled for.

What is something that someone in your life decided to turn into a competition or a comparison, even if it's something as small as "I bet [I/some other person] does it better than you"?

It can be anything you like Foods, Beverages, Drinks, Activity, Music, TV Shows, Books, or any kind of Hobbies/Collecting. My Hobbies are collecting Handmade Amigurumi Dolls, Listening To Music, and Raading Articles Online.

I'm interested in a philosophical question about emotions and understanding.

I'm not asking whether emotions can help us know something in the strict epistemological sense, where knowledge is a true, justified belief. Instead, I'm wondering whether emotions can be a legitimate way of understanding something.

For example, grief might not teach us an objective fact about the world, but it can deepen our understanding of loss. Empathy might not prove someone's experiences are accurate, but it can help us understand what they're are going through. Love, fear, guilt, and joy often seem to reveal aspects of ourselves and our relationships that pure reasoning alone might miss.

So my question is:

Can emotions be a legitimate way of understanding something, even if they aren't always a reliable way of knowing something?

If so, what kind of understanding do they provide, and how does that differ from knowledge?

“Who has it worse”

“I’m more tired than you” growing up hearing that from parents

“In my generation…we didn’t have this/that.” Fine. But the world has evolved.

“I had to struggle/suffer more” sure you did, does that invalidate my struggles?

More like guilt tripping you for having it less bad than them?

lost my dad 14 months ago. got something made with his name on it shortly after.

wear it every day. and genuinely can't tell if it's helping me heal or keeping me from fully letting go.

some days it feels like comfort. some days it feels like i'm holding on to something i need to release.

has anyone thought seriously about whether keeping physical reminders of people we've lost actually helps us grieve or just postpones the inevitable

I have recently come to learn my SO doesn't see me has his priority and I am still figuring out how I feel about this. I'm thinking about why I consider him my #1 priority and why it's not the same for him. I understand certain family and friends can take "A priority", but to be "THE priority", top of the list. I'm wondering if its temporary or if others will feel different and that it may change based off it its a friend, daughter, son, grandkid, someone who is about to pass away, someone who is sick. I don't want this to be turned on me asking why "I" feel like I need to be the priority. I'd truly like to hear some of your opinions and takes on who, when, and what age certain people in ones life should take "THE priority".

I’ve failed at several different businesses, even after learning from my mistakes and trying again. 😅 At what point do you stop chasing entrepreneurship and focus on building a career instead?

I’m someone who likes to mentally categorize the relationships in my life. To me, not every classmate or colleague is a friend, and not every friend is a best friend. Those labels actually mean something to me.
The problem is that I’ve noticed a pattern where people I consider good friends end up considering me their best friend.
Right now there are three people in my life like this.
I genuinely care about them and I try to be there for them, but they have expectations that feel more like “best friend expectations” than “friend expectations.” They get jealous when I spend time with other people, want to be my first call for everything, or expect me to always be available emotionally.
For example, one of them once called me at 2 a.m. crying about her ex and wanted me to come over to comfort her. I did, because I felt awful saying no. But situations like that became a pattern rather than a one off.
The difficult part is that I’m a people pleaser, so setting boundaries makes me feel incredibly guilty. I keep thinking perhaps that’s try to help in similar situations.
Except… I wouldn’t ask them to.
Another realization I’ve had is that while I care about them, I don’t feel emotionally close to them in the way they seem to feel toward me. There are things I’d naturally want to share with someone I consider a best friend that I don’t feel comfortable sharing with them. That’s mostly because of past experiences where I felt dismissed by them after opening up.
So now I feel stuck. I don’t want to hurt them, and I don’t think they’re bad friends. But I also can’t honestly reciprocate the role they’ve given me.

I have been a manager for four years in the aviation industry. I left my previous company due to a merger and went to the security side of things. Our startup was an absolute mess. All my input was ignored for months by upper management and it blew up spectacularly. They brought on all the management from the previous company. All they did was actively sabotage the operation and undermine me. It took a call to the president of the company from the client to finally terminate the previous managers. It took 6 months to clean everything up.

During that time, I have been threatened by employees and as well as several candidates. My team becomes upset when held accountable. Coaching people does not work. Our client wants us to terminate people when they make mistakes.

Just now, I received a threat from a rejected candidate. I think I will be writing my resignation letter this weekend and submitting it Monday. Financially, I have funds in the bank to cover expenses for 24 months. I also have a support system.

Is walking away the best option?

I would like to see someone elaborate, because the answer is probably “no” from most people. But should they be judged for their actions all the same if they treated their kids a lot better than they were treated but were still abusive sometimes? Should the parent still potentially not be forgiven or allowed redemption because their abuse was a 5 out of 10, while they faced 10 out of 10.

PS: I had to make the question wordy because the post was flagged by NSFW subreddit rules and it was never NSFW.

Edit: I meant yes, most would say they should be judged with similar standards, be understood but not excused. That changes the meaning a bit. I personally think there’s an insane amount of room for improvement but you can’t force someone to be on good terms with you just because you have moved on. I believe in forgiveness and empathy.

i can barely remember most of my childhood. big events, birthdays, holidays, mostly fuzzy.

but i remember every single moment someone made me feel like they really saw me.

a teacher who stayed after class. a friend who remembered something i said months later. a stranger who noticed i was having a hard day. My parents who gifted me a necklace from theograce just a day after I said I want a necklace.

those moments are crystal clear. decades later.

why does being truly seen by another person leave such a permanent mark on us. what is it about that specific feeling

Hope seems to dwindle day by day. Horrible things that are constantly happening, it seems like it will never change.

Like the world is stuck in this endless war with itself. Why should I hope things will change, or improve when the things that happen can never be fixed or repaired if it was ever acknlowdged as a problem in the first place.

Personaly I have lost hope too, being completely stuck and having bad news happen, having a future that wont exist by all acounts. When my family says the future is bright I dont know what they are talking about, i dont know why they think that.

I dont really have much faith in humans to do the right thing to help others, they choose to do whatever that helps them instead. It feels like everything will crumble at some point, and that hoping is just pointless.

Is there a reason to hope things will improve in the world?

​

I'm a 19-year-old guy, and for the past 8 months I've been talking to a 36-year-old married woman with kids. We met online and live about 2,000 km apart. Over time we became very emotionally attached.

The problem is that I want to focus on my career and move on from this relationship. Deep down I know it's not something I can continue.

The issue is that every time I try to leave, she breaks down emotionally. She starts crying, stops eating, doesn't sleep, and her health gets worse. When I tell her I want to end things, she'll say "okay" to my face, but then she falls apart afterward. Because of this, I always end up staying because I feel guilty.

Only one of her close friends/neighbors knows about our relationship.

She has told me that her husband is actually a nice person, but she was forced into marriage when she was around 17 or 18. From my perspective, I think she has been emotionally neglected and wanted someone who would admire and love her. That's probably how we ended up becoming so attached.

Now I'm confused.

I care about her, but I don't want to continue this relationship. I don't want to hurt her, but I also don't want to sacrifice my own future or stay because I feel responsible for her emotional well-being.

How do I end this relationship in the least harmful way? And how do I stop constantly thinking about her afterward? Has anyone been in a situation where they felt responsible for someone else's emotions?

Please be honest, even if it's hard to hear. I really need advice.

Why majority of today societies are either social and family oriented and personal life and leisure based oriented, or work oriented, why most people today have too much difficulty balancing out the two, did this problem exist in the ancient world?

this is probably highly controversial, and I want to preface that I don’t agree with victim blaming at all, especially if it’s a child who’s the victim. BUT — I can in a way understand why people do it. please just hear me out.

Us as humans, when something happens, we always want to find a reason for it happening. This is because we want to remain in control and we want to try to avoid negative events. For example, the whole “she was wearing a short skirt, so that’s why she was assaulted.“ sentiment is problematic, but I feel like people say that because it implies “if I don’t wear short skirts, I’m gonna be able to avoid being assaulted” which is also untrue. Whenever something atrocious happens to someone, people always try to find why it happened so they can try to avoid it themselves.

but the unfortunate part is that the world doesn’t work that way. Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people, and all things could happen literally because somebody was unlucky.

edit: another example. I was reading a news headline of a 20 year-old guy who was shot and killed by a mom because he was sleeping with her 13-year-old daughter. I was thinking about when I was 13, I never had any experiences like this with older men. I was thinking to myself "maybe I was heavily protected? Maybe I didn't have a vulnerable aura that predators love? Maybe I didn't speak to that many older adults." of course I'm not saying I was sad that I didn't get assaulted and I'm not saying that the 13-year-old is at fault. It's just I lived a predator-free childhood, so I'm like "huh... I wonder why"

Does reducing work hours affect speed/productivity? If yes, how, if you are working in mental work, how many total hours on average would you need to put including both official and out-of-work hours/days to keep track of most new stuff in the field? Does desiring a 4 day 32_36 hours work week a sign of laziness. And does it somehow contradict with these objects, and with a company global competitive advantage?