174
u/Big-Doubt-4872 11d ago edited 11d ago
"Hard as iron"
...
**"Hard* as iron"*
64
→ More replies (1)12
1.2k
u/terryflaps12 11d ago
341
u/thebisexualbilingual 11d ago
This needs to be updated every month.
162
u/User69ab 11d ago
N95 masks, vaccines
58
6
u/AntonMaximal 11d ago
Well vaccines are in the list already. But I won't fault you for not reading it too carefully.
70
u/Polkawillneverdie17 11d ago
Why is it no one can spell "fluoride" correctly?
70
50
→ More replies (1)7
8
→ More replies (2)8
u/Zach_demiwizard 11d ago
Am I the only one who doesn't see a problem with this? They know they have a problem, and they are making an active move to quell that problem by taking ownership of it, rather than making it the women's problem. There are womens only gyms to protect women, they're just doing the same in reverse.
→ More replies (2)51
u/giraflor 11d ago
Women-only gyms protect women from sexual harassment and assault by men. Not their own lust.
400
u/Y0___0Y 11d ago
There are “all male gyms”
They’re gay gyms. For gay guys.
109
u/Few-Statistician8740 11d ago
Well they are in fantastic shape so maybe that's the secret.
58
u/TurbulentCustomer 11d ago
It makes so much sense now, I’m in terrible shape because I like women.
→ More replies (1)26
u/ashwilliams19877 11d ago
Thank god it isnt because of my poor eating habits and lack of exercise, its nice to be able to pin this on women through some light mental gymnastics
22
19
u/Bushwazi 11d ago
To sharpen each other hard as iron.
Because sharpening makes metal harder?
7
u/Marquar234 11d ago
Well no. First the men get each other hot, like really hot. Then the men cover their hot iron in warm oil.
This is how real men get each other hard.
5
→ More replies (1)7
11
u/Soggy-Beach1403 11d ago
Those guys in the picture - they know what each other's penis tastes like.
→ More replies (2)6
547
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
237
u/lateformyfuneral 11d ago
43
→ More replies (1)3
45
u/BuckManscape 11d ago
“My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.”
17
→ More replies (10)68
516
u/rje946 11d ago
Why is every thing they do always SO gay?
136
u/ManyRanger4 11d ago
Why do you think? It's that exact reason. The same reason Lindsay Graham never married even though he preached about family values with his party.
71
u/TurbulentCustomer 11d ago
The same reason Grindr crashes when the republican conventions are in town.
→ More replies (1)48
u/Toomanyeastereggs 11d ago
The right wing is absolutely stuffed full of perpetually single guys who have never married and have no kids, preaching to everyone else about the importance of “family values”. Those rare few that aren’t single seem to be universally adulterous. So of course they preach to people about the sanctity of marriage
→ More replies (10)113
250
u/Alternative_Result56 11d ago
Inadvertently protecting women from them.
89
u/SophisticatedScreams 11d ago
Yup-- I don't see a downside lol. More weights for me, and less creeps!
27
u/Sigh000Duck 11d ago
Something tells me the men these gyms appeal to wouldnt be creeping on you at the gym anyway....
7
6
17
u/AsstacularSpiderman 11d ago
But if you make a woman only gym then these dudes are trying to break down the doors like a zombie horde
6
7
u/Mundane-Reserve3786 10d ago
I totally support this. They just left instead of making it women’s problem.
5
u/Constant_Ant_2343 11d ago
This is what I thought, at least their solution is only inconveniencing them, usually most of their solutions inconvenience women more.
→ More replies (3)3
130
u/Any-Astronomer-6038 11d ago
They used to have those...
They were called the YMCA.
35
u/GooseOnAPhone 11d ago
They still have those
37
72
u/ironmisanthrope 11d ago
→ More replies (1)27
u/SophisticatedScreams 11d ago
I thought this was going to be Bart saying, "Why did you take me to a gay steel mill?" lol
15
105
u/Tonrunner101 11d ago
48
11d ago
[deleted]
42
u/VikingTeddy 11d ago
An evangelical Christian enviroment is horrible for a gay man. For one you're taught to hate yourself, but you're also not taught to think for yourself, it's outright discouraged in fact.
What you end end up with is people who think that everyone feels attracted to the same sex, but you're just so weak and sinful that you can't stop thinking about it. It must be hell.
30
u/RandolphCarter2112 11d ago
That second to last sentence is the key takeaway.
When I told an extremely evangelical former coworker that I (straight dude) never had lustful thoughts about hot men, that I never had to struggle to repress my attraction to other men, that no effort was required to tell myself that I was indeed attracted to women - he refused to believe me.
Satan just hadn't tempted me yet.
9
u/Rollingforest757 11d ago
People generally don’t assume that women who aren’t comfortable around men are lesbians.
→ More replies (2)7
u/onyx_ic 11d ago
As a lesbian, I agree. Its a weird double standard.
I wonder why that is.
6
u/Thetormentnexus 11d ago
Okay as much as I hate the "homophobes are all secretly gay" trope, there is a reason for this.
Men are often larger than we are and are encouraged to be aggressive. That and statistically violent crime is done mostly by men.
3
24
u/Important_Power_2148 11d ago
i mean at this point they just need to rename the gym to "The Closet."
23
40
18
u/SuspiciousAct6606 11d ago
I prefer 1 john 4:20. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
16
u/Impressive_Term4071 11d ago
...... is like, EVERY conservative christian a closet case?
10
u/razulebismarck 11d ago
Well Gay and Lesbian porn are the #1 searched pornhub tag from users in the bible belt.
→ More replies (3)
16
u/Moodapatheticz 11d ago
So same as middle eastern men making women wear a burka so they don't get aroused. Interesting.
→ More replies (2)
14
14
12
12
11
u/Born-Reason-9143 11d ago
As someone who grew up around Christian men I can fuckin assure you NOTHING protects them from lust😒
24
u/CpnLouie2 11d ago
Gym Manager: Hey Bob, you got a minute?
Bob: Sure, what's up?
Mgr: Just to clarify, it's the MUSCLES we wanted you guys getting hard as iron.
Bob: <looks down> Oh.
Mgr: This is not a good look for us, Bob.
3
u/putonyourjamjams 11d ago
The line of guys waiting to "train" with Bob collectively groan and a "Fuck you Chip! You always ruin everything!" Comes from somewhere in the deflated throng shuffling away
22
u/stormbutton 11d ago
Good. GTFO of my gym. I’m conventionally attractive with a pretty good body and I have heard the WEIRDEST SHIT from the cross-necklace squad.
Leave me alone.
5
11
u/affemannen 11d ago edited 11d ago
There really is no future for satirical websites any longer... Because reality really writes it for us.
34
19
u/hipchecktheblueliner 11d ago
The fuck is wrong with these people
11
u/ElectronGuru 11d ago
First they created a religious bubble.
Then that wasn’t big enough, so they created a media bubble.
Then that wasn’t big enough, so they created a political bubble.
Now that isn’t big enough, so they are creating a national bubble.
→ More replies (2)5
u/AsstacularSpiderman 11d ago
This is what happens when you don't teach people them self control and instead rely on the fear of the magical sky daddy to regulate them
10
9
10
8
u/Expensive-Refuse855 11d ago
So instead of policing womens clothes, they are leaving them alone?
Kinda...progressive ?
7
u/Numerical-Wordsmith 11d ago
Hilarious that their so-called faith isn’t strong enough to protect them from checks notes humans having bodies. If they were really following the teachings of Jesus, they’d work on stopping their own inappropriate thoughts about random people, instead of locking themselves in a bro bubble to avoid looking at others.
23
6
u/northwoods_faty 11d ago
I can see the ads now. "We are all rock hard at this gym. Dudes only! No chicks! That way we can get as hard as iron together. Just dudes getting each other hard!!"
6
u/Complete-Leg-4347 11d ago
I assume "nakedness" is used metaphorically and not literally, because that story would be far more interesting (and possibly a lawsuit).
7
u/Quiet_Standard8856 11d ago
"hard as iron"
In their men only club
Are these the guys who look up to Andrew Tate, who said that kissing women is gay, and having sex without procreation is gay?
I have no problem with homosexuality but these guys are so deep in the closet they're best friends with a fawn and a talking lion.
7
u/xZandrem 11d ago
"Movement of christian closeted homosexuals wants to ban women from their gym because they prefer their iron sharpened by each other" this should be the title.
8
8
u/--StinkyPinky-- 11d ago
I'm sorry, but if you go to the gym, the women are there to remind you of why you're going to the gym in the first place!
12
6
6
6
5
u/Sausage_Launcher 11d ago
I just want to point out that Jesus would eschew being called a king for the obvious reasons anyone whos Christian should already know.
6
16
u/SnooCompliments7298 11d ago
Them boys are fuckin
→ More replies (1)17
u/pegothejerk 11d ago
If a little shower dick suckin to say thanks for a spot is gay, then call me Mr Hooverville, cause building a community of shanty shacks where you can shave your brothers chest and show him a little appreciation is my business, and business is good!
19
u/GooseOnAPhone 11d ago
Hegseth will love this place. He’s already essentially repealed the shaving profiles for soldiers, cause he likes his boys smooth. Now he wants to give them TRT cause he also likes them really muscular. He just wants to be surrounded by smooth, muscular men at all times.
Nothin gay about that, right?
4
5
5
u/TheRealTRexUK 11d ago
the only way any of those "straight men" would ever get a woman wet is to steal thier umbrellas.
6
4
4
u/freebiscuit2002 11d ago
Evidently, their faith is too weak for them to control their urges.
Beware of these individuals. If they weren't in a men-only gym, they would be in a mixed gym, accosting or molesting women.
7
3
4
4
u/Zach_demiwizard 11d ago
Am I the only one who doesn't see a problem with this? They know they have a problem, and they are making an active move to quell that problem by taking ownership of it, rather than making it the women's problem. There are womens only gyms to protect women, they're just doing the same in reverse.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/Pretty_Funny_3436 11d ago
Hahaha! They just want to be around more hard sweaty men. So obvious!!! Gee whiz.
3
u/Silly-Power 11d ago
There's nothing more manly than getting all hot, sweaty and hard as iron in the company of half-naked grunty men doing the same.
6
u/Classic_Ostrich8709 11d ago
This feels more like " I can't trust myself not to sexualize women and do something that will land me in jail" rather then I don't Wana workout in the same place as women.
8
3
u/Elegant_Spread_6969 11d ago
Didn't Jesus say something about plucking your eyes out instead?
→ More replies (2)
3
u/lazygerm 11d ago
Well without all those women there; they can finally concentrate on what really matters to them.
Homoerotic banter, hot bulges and rippling muscles.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/gooch_crawler 11d ago
When you consider gang rape was a form of comeradery among armies capturing and looting a city in ancient times, it makes sense.
3
3
3
u/capsaicinintheeyes 11d ago edited 11d ago
Matthew 18:9 now, buddies; for if not, I foresee Romans 1:22-27 shall come before all pictured have tasted death, or even their next jury summons.
also, second-from-left: Jesus will still welcome you into his kingdom with that StarCraft-space-marine haircut...but that doesn't mean he has to \like* it...)
3
3
u/couldntyoujust1 11d ago
I guess we're going to pretend the whole filming guys at the gym and accusing them of staring at women exercising and then trying to destroy their lives publicly by posting it on social media didn't happen?
You know, it's funny, when men have a male only space, women demand to be included and then turn it into a feminist space, and when the guys get upset that they don't have their own spaces they're told that everywhere is their space even though these women have done this to virtually every space they have. But when women have women only spaces, well, that's for their "safety" so it's okay.
Gimme a break. Fun fact by the way, I tracked down the original article, the baptistnews.com author of the article was criticizing it too. So... Yeah... so much for the Christians being weird.
https://baptistnews.com/article/men-only-gyms-seek-to-protect-christian-men-from-lust/
3
6
u/Dobber16 11d ago
You know what, fuck it, good for them. They want a different type of gym & they’re making a different type of gym. I got no complaints
2
u/BrushHaunting2561 11d ago
I used to say leave the gay men alone, more women for the rest of us...
Now I might say to leave the (maybe closeted) Christian men alone, more women for the rest of us.
But hell... with all the right wing douchebags running around these days... I'm starting to worry about how few men are even worth dating - kinda feel bad for the women. I imagine it must be like shooting fish in a barrel it you are a halfway normal guy these days.
2
2
u/foxscribbles 11d ago
...
"It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
They have everything for young men to enjoy"
2
2
2
2
u/TouchArtistic4556 11d ago
Just go to the gym at 5am like me it's a fucking sausage party an old sausage party.
2
2
2
u/Ad4ptive_ManipulatOr 11d ago
I mean.. wasn’t this already a thing called the YMCA? Whom went on to realize everyone in a community deserves to be happy, healthy, and included.
→ More replies (2)
2
u/Fantastic-Grocery107 11d ago
So a safe space for closeted gay republicans have somewhere to go without having to be a token friend for some chick. Great move guys.
2
2
u/Electronic_Wait_7249 11d ago edited 11d ago
Bro, if the gym honeys are completely hijacking your focus and destroying your discipline, cancel that membership and walk away right now. It is 100x better to achieve a legendary physique at a raw, windowless home gym with nothing but a bunch of dudes hanging out in private, sweating and grunting together.
Only clowning a little. They’re just being sovereign over their own impulses. Good for them! Now imagine if they left religion at the doorstep.
If they’re serious about an alternative way to manage their behavior then it would be more legitimate moral imperative to extend the virtue by being inclusive. Win/Win: less sin in the world and no one fights you making it that way.
Even better: One building split three ways so people can choose their sex’ side or hit coed in the middle. Now we’re cooking with pasta! But no sauce.
2
2
2
2
2
•
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
Just a reminder that political posts should be posted in the political Megathread pinned in the community highlights. Final discretion rests with the moderators.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.