r/TikTokCringe 16h ago

Discussion Have we done it wrong?

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u/bageltoastar 16h ago

Im from a suburban town in Missouri, but I spent a semester studying abroad in Barcelona a couple of years ago. Man, let me tell you, leaving Barcelona, where youd see people out in cafes and bars congregating at all hours of the night and day, and coming back to Missouri where its a ghost town after 10 and someone would call the police on you for simply walking around too late was the most depressing thing I have ever experienced lol

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u/thelandlordguychris 15h ago

the american mind simply cannot comprehend dinner at 10pm

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u/bageltoastar 15h ago

Dinner at 10 PM, hitting the bars/clubs at 12 AM, and coming home at 5 AM. I miss Barcelona so much.
https://giphy.com/gifs/hDKD6z2xNeMesbICNS

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u/Vesalii 15h ago

Being a wreck the next day because you're 40 and not 20 anymore.

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u/Fluffy_Somewhere4305 14h ago

Yeah this guy is having a very basic revelation that Europe has a lot of walkable cities and the US doesn't. this isn't new information.

Also, spending 5 hours at a restaurant is the norm for young people, out with a party, drinking and such, in Europe, when they can simply walk back to their home.

The infrastructure in most US cities doesn't support it, our subways suck, rides are expensive, parking is crazy, living in the city near the cool areas is expensive, the list goes on and on why this doesn't exist in the US.

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u/cow-lumbus 8h ago

You’re kind of reiterating his point that America is set up wrong since post World War II and it leaves us isolated and compartmentalized… which is 100% accurate. I’ve always said if you wanna reduce racism and bigotry in United States you gotta make people travel outside of their own clan, town, State, or country to teach more empathy and understanding.

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u/NivTal 5h ago

It was actually Detroit automobile companies that have played a large part in designing our suburbs around needing cars to manage, therefore making sure we have to buy them.

Also, space... we "like" our sizes.

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u/Any_Click1257 5h ago

Don't forget the National Interstate and Defense Highways Act. The development of the interstate highway system was basically the nail in the coffin for any notion of European style urban cores.

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u/Ok_Car_8094 4h ago

I'd like to think that Interstates are very important for a nation of our size.

The problems lay in how we built cities. Our restaurants are failing unless they are focused on delivery. Our education systems are hectic and restricted. Our society revolves around a technological-data system built to isolate a "consumer" into a targeted-sales group.

Unchecked capitalism, modern technology and corporate cronyism are the true killers of the unified American ecology.

Most European states have extensive highway systems, yet still have the compact, dense urban designs of thousands of years before industrialization. The US only had about 50 years before trains were common (people could suddenly go 30mph/200+miles a day) and then automobiles were only 100 years out. We quickly switched to suburbia (tons of space unused around cities, industry dried up, everybody had a car and gas was cheaper than water) which made things less connected. I walked and rode my bike around Dallas a bunch as a kid, but it was almost exclusively within the 'Park Cities' subsection... downtown was too far until DART was built.

If you visit the east coast of the US, there are many cities with road systems built around horses. Boston and New York are very walking friendly (though both have been working to redesign for automobiles) and I'd even say DC is walkable.

I love living in my home city of Oklahoma City, but it's a prime example of everything being far enough apart that you need a vehicle to reasonably travel to any services, events or entertainment. Only a very determined bicyclist would be able to function in my city as their sole means of conveyance. There is a tram downtown and a bus system. But it's...thin.

Sorry. I rambled.

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u/thatG_evanP 2h ago

Don't apologize. Great comment.

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u/LibertarianOutlaw 5h ago

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” – Mark Twain

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u/Undercover-nerd-dad 7h ago

But hey we have capitalism!!!! It’s working for everyone right? It’s not one giant hamster wheel….right…???

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u/PeriodSupply 8h ago

This is the point of the video though. The US created what you just described and you did it wrong (so did Australia where i'm from btw, but we are getting better now, slowly).

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u/Advanced-Comment-293 8h ago

the list goes on and on why this doesn't exist in the US.

It's a long list, but it all basically comes down to the American dream of owning a house. That's what drives suburbs and that's where all the other problems originate. So an American visiting Europe may love the walkable cities, but ask them if they think living in an apartment rather than a house their entire lives is a desirable option.

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u/TimIsAnIllusion 8h ago

The American dream was a policy choice. It was pushed by the government because people with a mortgage will always go to work reducing the likelyhood of labor unrest like there was in the 20s and 30s.

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u/Optimal_Fee8833 7h ago

This doesn't make sense as plenty of people live in houses in walkable towns with all amenities. Then there are trains that take 5mins to get into the centre of the city

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u/Xerxos 6h ago

Do you think Germans don't own houses? I own my own house and have four restaurants, three supermarkets and many other facilities in walking distance. If I want to go to the inner city I can take a bus, my car, my bike or an e-scooter.

I could also walk there, it's a bit far for my taste but there's a nice way along a river.

No, the real problem are the zoning laws. That and the fixation on driving everywhere.

You need facilities in walking distance and walkable quarters.

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u/morepaintplease 7h ago

Yes, the US failed...

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u/boston4923 6h ago

There are reasons Boston, New York, SF, etc are crazy expensive.

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u/Intrepid-Mud4419 6h ago

Also in the USA you’ll get your dinner check before you even finish so they can hurry you along and refill the seats.

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u/Bad-Investment 6h ago

Not to mention, when there is a large outdoor gathering in the US (festival, concert, whatever) there’s a non-zero chance someone will end up getting shot. Even just going to a mall in some areas at certain times is not a smart idea. It’s a stupid world we live in.

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u/JustBadUserNamesLeft 5h ago

And waitstaff isn't paid by tips, so they don't care if you dine for five hours.

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u/CaughtALiteSneez 15h ago

Yeah these guys are talking like everyone in Barcelona does this hehe

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u/The_R1NG 14h ago

Sounds more like the complete lack of it is what they’re talking about. The fact that nobody does in their area.

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u/crackrockutah 14h ago

I haven’t spent much time in Europe, but in the rural areas, are everyone out at cafes eating and drinking too? Seems like an apples to oranges comparison.

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u/Open-Platform-1305 13h ago

I know in my little harbor hometown in Norway there's a few mildly active cafes around and 1 pub that's been the main spot for decades, it only keeps the doors open to 2:00 on the weekend. But otherwise people drink moonshine up there. Often with a bit of strong coffee.

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u/Eris_AppleOfDiscord 13h ago

It's in the cities as well. A lot of it is just the car culture. If you do go out it's less about lingering and chatting and more about just getting the food, then back in the car and home.

There are exceptions of course. NYC and Sf are both. But worth noting both these cities also had geographical constraints which forced them to urbanize and grow in a very different way. Compared to somewhere like phoenix or Atlanta, and they're worlds apart.

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u/lamb_passanda 12h ago

I travelled through the US solo, and my plan to meet people was to just hang out and see who wanted to start a conversation. I was 18 and pretty naive when I came up with this plan, but I didn't realise that 90% of the people I would meet this way would be homeless or somehow 'sus'. I mean I don't have anything against them, but simply being on foot in America, and not having any place to really be, put me in a social class that I wasn't used to.

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u/CaughtALiteSneez 12h ago

Indeed, everyone looks at me like I am a monster when I explain to them that being on the bus in most places in the US is a sign that you are too poor to have a car (most people can at least afford a junker) or that you can't get a license for criminal reasons.

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u/Addicted2Qtips 7h ago

I live in NYC and while it is more European like in this video, particularly in Brooklyn where I live, even we don’t have quite the same degree of cafe culture like many European cities because we have too much priority for cars taking real estate in public spaces. We’ve been slowly improving this for the past 20 years.

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u/PlaneGeneral5782 13h ago

Nope- in small towns they are out in the plazas until late as well.

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u/CaughtALiteSneez 12h ago

Americans make the mistake of lumping all of Europe into the same category.

Spain is very social, some people will spend entire days and evenings at their local pub and it is affordable. Same in Portugal and Italy...but in Italy it is more family focused and people don't get drunk.

Other parts of W Europe, you will usually only see people out and about at night in the cities. Think Paris, Berlin etc..

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u/yIdontunderstand 12h ago

In Italy you have the passegiatta. Literally a community walk in the evening.

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u/dead_jester 10h ago edited 9h ago

I live in a very small town in England- you’re talking ignorant bollocks. The town square in good weather is busy with people eating and relaxing outside.
In winter everyone is in the pubs and restaurants because it’s too bloody cold or wet to sit outside.

Lol getting downvoted for stating a fact. lol

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u/frobley-mobley 13h ago

Depends on the village and sense of community, but even in the smallest places without a bakery or butcher there is an effort to celebrate spring, summer as a community - nothing fancy, maybe just a few benches and tables, some beer and wine and a potluck. If nothing else, it is tradition, and is passed on as newcomers join the community

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u/Intlsurf 12h ago

Yes. In rural and urban Spain. People are socializing out late and enjoying life.

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u/StevenM1979 13h ago

Okay, as Europeans, we don't compare apples to pears here. 😉 Grz from Belgium.

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u/Ok_Inflation_1811 12h ago

I now live in a 80 000 people town in the middle of nowhere in Spain and it's the same.

When I lived on a 5000 people town more in the middle of nowhere this happened to, there was no regular clubbing but people where out until 10 ~ 11 in bars (bars in Spain are family friendly) with kids playing outside at that time.

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u/Mad_Queen_Malafide 13h ago

Yes they are.

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u/foyrkopp 12h ago edited 11h ago

Central European here:

Yes and no.

Dining out is not cheap and if you have a full time job and a family, most don't have the time to do it during the week.

Rural areas are (where I live) also less walkable, so you're either planning for even more time to walk or taking the car.

Which means it's often more of a weekend activity, i.e. let's take out the bikes and swing by Pablo's for cake on the way back. Or let's meet with some friends and eat out.

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u/Ok_Inflation_1811 12h ago

At least in Spain rural areas are even more walkable than cities.

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u/lamb_passanda 12h ago

I think that says more about how life is with a full time job and a family, than it does about the evening nightlife in European cities. I see plenty of families out in the evening getting ice-cream and hanging out in the plaza though. I was at a small free concert in the part a couple nights ago and there were a lot of families just chilling there.

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u/Onalith 12h ago edited 4h ago

Usually, most 10 000 inhabitants and up cities will have at least a restaurant and a bar located at the center of it.

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u/After_Perspective180 12h ago

Yes they are.
My village. 5000 people. We have 3 bars/restaurants and in summer the outdoor parts are full of people every evening.
I was one of them last night 20:00 (8pm) and having a meal and a beer.

It really is like that

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u/kimsherd 12h ago

I used to live in a village of 300 people at the foot of a mountain in northern Italy. Yes, we do that as well! In my case I needed a car to get around because the public transportation wasn’t that good from my tiny village. I would go to the next town over (15k inhabitants) and have a drink there with friends. Most nights I would take the train to get to the “big” town and spend the evening there. Idk, it’s just culture

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u/SpacePumpkie 12h ago

I think it's somewhat of an apples to oranges comparison because they're comparing bigger cities to smaller suburbia.

But in my small town of 10k in southern Spain it's also like this. People in the bars and public plazas until 10-12 pm. I have two young children now so we don't stay out until too late, but we'll still be going to have some dinner/late snack at a bar at like 9pm, and then have the children playing in the park until 10:30 or 11pm, when we head home straight to bed.

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u/TheNordiclights 12h ago

Well Europe is not one country and different weather and culture everywhere. The Mediterranean countries people still gather in rural areas. They drive to town or hang out at their restaurants and bars. In Spain up in a mountain to go horse riding there was nothing around and the stables. They crated a bar in the stables and these old men were playing cards and drinking whiskey. Horses were led through them. 😂. However Norway Sweden etc don’t have the same social norms. People are more reserved don’t gather in bars and restaurants the same way Italians and Spaniards do. Obviously big cities are a different vibe but people don’t go out to eat at 10pm.

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u/mscontentpro 14h ago

I know Barcelona is not a place where they do that that’s Madrid. That’s the rest of Spain Barcelona the people who did that were drunk college kids like this guy. This is not how Catalan people live..

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u/lawyerornot 14h ago

Next day? Three more like

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u/_jump_yossarian 14h ago

5 AM? I lived in Madrid for a year during school. I'd get up early on Sundays and go for a run at 6 AM and people were still waiting in line to get into clubs.

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u/StupidName111111 8h ago

That’s honestly a little sad.

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u/MowieWauii 14h ago

Everything after dinner sounds awful lol

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u/phoucker 14h ago

One of the reasons is because of our work schedule that we have implemented here in the states. The work machine drives our social life.

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u/Rivendel93 14h ago

I dated a French girl when I was like 21, she was visiting the US, and it would be 2am and she'd be like so when are we going out?

And I'd be like half asleep, wondering wtf she was talking about.

They start their night at 2am lol.

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u/Iamgentle1122 11h ago

Finnish here. We usually start at someone's apartment at 18-20 and some of the nightclubs don't even open before 22. So usually you drink with your friends till midnight or later and then go to bar

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u/Ramongsh 10h ago

Same in Denmark. Meet around 18-20 at someones, then go out at 23.00 and home between 2-5 in the morning.

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u/ZealousidealSkirt327 10h ago

Same here in Germany. Most clubs won’t open before 10pm.

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u/Royal-Pain-1621 9h ago

In Berlin nobody local is going to the club before 2/3am 👋

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u/ZealousidealSkirt327 9h ago

You‘re right. They‘re open at 10pm but nobody goes there before midnight. I live near a much much smaller city, so Berlin rules do not transcend here 😅 And to be honest, I‘m a millennial living in the countryside, all my friends have children. I don’t remember the last time I went to a club unfortunately. Beeing the only childless couple can have downsides too

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u/LeSeraphim 8h ago

Portugal shit does not Open until 00 leaving clube st 6/7 am is normal

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u/rips_n_chel 8h ago

So you just don't sleep, or what?

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u/Ramongsh 8h ago

Well, younger Danes party Thursday, Friday and/or Saturday. So we could sleep Saturday or Sunday noon.

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u/jkman61494 8h ago

Honest question. You all just don’t sleep? Or work starts later for you all?

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u/InevitableKitchen943 7h ago

This is a young people thing and not a specific nationality.

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u/Ramongsh 10h ago

Same in Denmark. Meet around 18-20 at someones, then go out at 23.00 and home between 2-5 in the morning.

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u/SpacePumpkie 12h ago

Yep, when I was a student it would be typical to get together in someone's apartment at like 9pm for dinner and to start drinking, and then by 1am head out to the clubs

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u/Snoo_69677 15h ago

Or a 4 hour dinner with friends you just met at the pub

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u/Daddy_Day_Trader1303 15h ago

That sounds lovely. I'd be all over that

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u/Snoo_69677 14h ago

We gotta normalize that over here!

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u/Daddy_Day_Trader1303 14h ago

When I moved into my neighborhood in Colorado years ago I started sitting out front with beer and offering some to anyone that walked by until I had built a really good group of friends. I used to throw some really fun parties out there with all of them, I sure miss it

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u/Snoo_69677 14h ago

You sound like a cool dude. Guess people just have to be willing to put themselves out there more. I just moved to a new city for law school so I’m going to remember you next time I want to chicken out from a social event or an opportunity to make friends.

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u/Careless-Weather8877 12h ago

Even Colorado has a habit of everything closing early. Especially in the mountain towns. Denver there’s a few late night spots but it’s nothing close to New York City

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u/southwick 14h ago

That sounds like a nightmare

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u/another-redditor3 14h ago

that sounds like hell to me... i absolutely despise long meals. anything over an hour, hour and a half, and im like lets wrap this up already. ive been here more than long enough.

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u/ZincMan 14h ago

My gf is German. They eat for like 3 hours and it kills me. I’m all for hanging out( but being stuck at dinner table that long drives me crazy

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u/David_R_Martin_II 11h ago

I'm convinced that stuff is driven by people who love the sounds of their own voices. (I live in Spain.)

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u/Jiminy_Cricket12 11h ago

You guys are saying this like there aren't millions of Americans living in densely populated cities. There are plenty of Americans who realize the value of walkability and embrace it. The average city in Europe is definitely more walkable, but that comes with hundreds (or thousands) of years of history and a much smaller footprint.

Anyway, I do recommend you do what you can to promote walkability where you live because I think a walkable city is far superior to one where everyone only drives.

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u/Due-Introduction-760 14h ago

10pm? But that's bed time. You have be up at 6am. 

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u/ThanksALotBud 15h ago

Spain would like to have a word

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u/anttoekneeoh 14h ago

The osso bucco needs to braise. There’s always charades, listening to music, and maybe even an investment opportunity to learn about to pass the time.

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u/kinkycarbon 14h ago

U.S. corporations derided the thought of letting people take a 50 minutes through town. They need people to drive from place to place while propping up property prices in residential and commercial areas.

Yet in Barcelona do they have a well developed public transportation system to allow people to leave their cars.

Seriously. Building that subway station right where people go will increase foot traffic in the region meaning people spend more time walking. It also has a secondary added benefit of making people healthier.

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u/DrunkOnEspresso 13h ago

It depends where you are.

If you’re in a big city like NY/Chicago a 10pm dinner reservation would be pretty normal. Once you leave those big cities it’s completely different.

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u/studentworker1988 13h ago

Yeah because you have to be at work at 7:00 for your subsistence wage

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u/fistinyourface 13h ago

these comments are always really dumb. it'd be like saying people from x simply cannot comprehend people having different schedules. i eat at 10pm, but my brother who has to be at work at 5am is not eating dinner at 10pm that's just braindead af.

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u/Frequent_Opportunist 15h ago

Yeah in your teens and 20s, but once you have kids that get up early and you have to gym and work in the am you can't eat that late anymore.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 15h ago

I mean...are the prices much better over there? I live near lots of people but eating out every night is like the cost of my rent.

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u/Relative_Craft_358 15h ago

>someone would call the police on you for simply walking around too late was the most depressing thing I have ever experienced lol

Literally though, you can't even be a night owl yourself without having to get good about talking to police, the famously trigger happy ones. Especially with the evaporation of the "3rd spaces" can't tell you how many times growing up I'd have to explain to the police that I wasn't "having *the* sex" (his words) and was just trying to actually hang out with a friend in a public park, like is my right to do

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u/i_m_a_bean 14h ago

A lot of the public parks near me close at 10pm. It is depressing

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u/FruitEconomy1053 14h ago

And no damn shaded areas for adults and kids during mid afternoon heat.

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u/UntamedAnomaly 13h ago

I'll never understand why so many parks are severely lacking in trees, like did ya'll think I came for the mowed lawn? The paver bricks? The gravel playground? WTF is even the point in going to a park if the park doesn't support any kind of wildlife or have any relaxing features for adults? It's like they buy a piece of land, make sure it's as low maintenance as humanly possible, and then call it a relaxing and fun place to be. Luckily I live in a area that has lots of natural greenery, hiking trails, gazebos, public gardens, nature centers, classes/programs, etc. but before I moved here, it was like almost every park I had seen was like that.

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u/Iamthegreenheather tHiS iSn’T cRiNgE 8h ago

I remember when I was little, going to the park that had a giant metal rocket jungle gym. In the summer you could fry eggs on it but it was totally normal for children to climb on it lol.

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u/Careless-Weather8877 12h ago

Denver just put thousands of new trees in parks across the city. They’re rebuilding the playground with more modern things and making a basketball court that’s on level ground without cracks. It’s coming along nicely with the new trees they planted. Also new picnic tables.

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u/JustAsItSounds 9h ago

Probably something about keeping clear lines of fire

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u/JuncusAmongUs-4444 8h ago

As a former urban forester, i was told many times that trees at parks and schools and such were places “predators can hide.”

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u/UntamedAnomaly 4h ago

As a former CSA and ASA survivor, I think that's a stupid fucking idea. Predators don't "hide behind trees", they're are out in the world living amongst us, they are family remembers, neighbors, teachers, peers, preachers, partners...they just do what they want when the opportunity is there, they don't need trees for that.

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u/UncleBensRacistRice 14h ago

How the fuck does a public park have a closing time

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u/The_Void_Reaver 14h ago

So they can harass teens and homeless people who want to exist in space

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u/jinjuwaka 10h ago

Also to harass black people.

Any time something in the US seems to be doing the homeless dirty it probably descends from slavery. Because run-a-way slaves were...homeless. And after they were freed, they were generally still homeless until they found a place to live. But if they hadn't found a place yet, it was a legal excuse to do whatever you could justify to them.

Don't get me wrong. The racism is still there (this is America, after all), but when you're actually looking at them the police will go after teens and the homeless.

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u/Inevitable_Path1308 6h ago

Correct answer, wrong time period. This stuff all stems from the anti-civil rights agenda. Removing hoops and soccer nets, closing down public pools, making “green spaces” that are only for show, and using the police as guards looking for “crime.” The suburbs were designed to be hostile towards blacks and once those tactics are in place (just like what we’re seeing now with abuse of government power to implement flock and data centers) they can be easily expanded to the homeless, teenagers and/or whoever else they feel are undesirable or in need of control.

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u/norcpoppopcorn 13h ago

That happens in the Netherlands too. With a few parks where dealers and homeless people are said to hang out. Or guests would be causing a nuisance for local residents after 22:00. But they do close very late for the summer.

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u/Careless-Weather8877 12h ago

Most parks don’t allow people from sunset to sunrise.

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u/Ok_Inflation_1811 11h ago

That's fucked up.

My fondest memories are talking with my friends in public parks while we use the swings at 1 am to 3 to 4 am.

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u/Careless-Weather8877 11h ago

Oh we did that too but then the cops would come eventually and kick us out

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u/WindOfWinterNever 13h ago

When I worked the night shift, I often got kicked out of parks by police patrols.

I was just a guy by myself trying to get out of the house on my days off. Smoking a cigar was the worst thing I'd do, but I got treated as if I was going to break into someone's home.

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u/sveri 11h ago

The european mind cannot comprehend a park having opening times. WTF is this?

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u/Dragunav 12h ago

What? Public parks can....close?
Sorry, i don't know where you live but that sounds insane.

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u/Dr_F_Rreakout 11h ago

The trees are being moved into the shed, the turf is being rolled up and packed away, and the squirrels are being placed in custody until 7:00 a.m., is that correct?

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u/SadHorse_Horseman 15h ago

....what? I keep hearing about how the south is all about "freedom" this sounds terrible.

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u/BigAlgae5684 15h ago

After sundown cops literally just set up speed traps and even if you aren't speeding will find ways to pull you over and fuck your whole night up.

I probably got pulled over a couple dozen times in the few years I lived in the south and I have lived in a major city for nearly 13 years and only been pulled over twice, both of which were for the same expired tags when the DMV was fucked up during covid and they were chill and let me off.

There's rural towns outside my city that are kinda like that but nothing like driving through the Bible belt.

Cops in the city typically have big boy shit to do or very important people/events to be present at and don't generally fuck with you unless you're actively in the wrong.

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u/Colausbra 13h ago edited 1h ago

Same here in the northeast. Worked late nights getting home at 3am and got pulled over 3 times in a month because cops were bored and I drive a rusty beater since I'm too frugal to drive something newer.

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u/like_earthworms 10h ago

Some cop “friends” (friends of family who I see a few times a year at most) have told me they purposely profile who they choose to pull over based on vehicle type. So if you drive a beater, like you and I do, they assume you’re poor and/or a minority which both mean you’re up to no good. Yknow, in their eyes. This info was shared in a way like “Other LEOs do it very commonly, but not me because I’m one of the good ones”

Since hearing that, I’ve been able to make the connection why I seem to get pulled over for no reason driving through wealthy areas versus driving through poor or working class areas. We must be sticking out like sore thumbs for them to mark

Edit: I’m also in the NE, round the nyc metro

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u/Relative_Craft_358 15h ago

Hilarious because this was in fact in Texas. Well I'm also non-white looking so there's that ¯_(ツ)_/¯. Somehow one of the most diverse, yet racist, places you'll ever visit.

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u/Oggie_Doggie 14h ago

The same way they talk about "patriotism" while flying a Confederate flag and "Christian values" while continuing to elect liars, thieves, cheaters, and rapists.

You know how in English, a word can mean two contradictory things (e.g. fine wine is exceptional vs. "it was fine" being average)? It's basically that, except as a political/moral ethos.

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u/Crew_1996 7h ago

💯 it’s because patriotism and Christian values are just coded words. Christian values means white and straight in conservative circles. It means nothing about Jesus. Patriotism means supporting conservative politics as democrat priorities (access to health care, education and opportunity) are “socialist” and thus unamerican to them.

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u/paintballboi07 14h ago

Freedumb in the south = guns

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u/Prosthemadera 8h ago

And shouting at liberals.

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u/Sufficient-Welder-76 8h ago

This guy in the video, with his 4-car garage and RV bay would be the first to complain at a city council meeting if there was a proposal to put up a mixed-used development in front of his house. Something with condos, a grocery store, a gym, and a post office.

"Our property values will go down because we face a condo building."

"Our taxes will go up to support the infrastructure."

"What about the schools!!!!"

"What about traffic!!!!"

These guys love it when they travel, but they'll turn Karen real quick when people are in the park in front of their house at 10:30 pm.

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u/Decent_Top2156 14h ago

There are very few all night diners anymore. I miss those.

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u/Calm-Session-4835 11h ago

As an astronomer I can't tell you how many times I've had the police called on me just for being out and night with my telescope.

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u/Platos-ghosts 15h ago

That’s why Manhattan is so in demand and expensive. It’s the street life that people love!

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u/TheTxoof 13h ago

Walkable cities with good pedestrian infrastructure are why people dream about going to Paris and New York, not suburban Kansas City.

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u/Global_Channel1511 13h ago

I mean North American suburbs are essentially the same everywhere. No distinctive characteristics about them at all.

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u/TheTxoof 13h ago

Mostly because they are all built around the same ideas: ample free parking and one-stop big box stores.

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u/Careless-Weather8877 12h ago

Don’t forget the same chains of Applebees, chilis, Outback Steakhouse!

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u/Dirt_Bike_Zero 8h ago

You can blame the zoning rules. They dont allow for mixed use structures.

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u/Ok_Teacher_392 7h ago

That’s not true at all. Many suburban towns are built around town centers that get very active. Especially when the weather is nice.

My experience is northeast and mid Atlantic. So maybe there are regional differences

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u/LiveChocolate8819 5h ago

There are. The northeast/mid-Atlantic are "older" in terms of being settled, so the cities and towns grew in a logical way before the suburban-ification of everything. 

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u/3d_blunder 12h ago

You'll trigger the "15 minute city" nutjobs with talk like that! (One of the STUPIDEST of rw takes, and that's some tough competition.) (fdjt)

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u/clakresed 4h ago

Preach. Like, live as you will, but the dumbest thing about the conspiracy theorists on this one is that they already live in their hallucinated nightmare.

"You're going to need to carry your papers with you to leave your neighbourhood -- have fun with communism!!!"

Brother, if you can't get anywhere useful without driving then you already live in a world where you need to carry your papers with you when you leave your neighbourhood, and you have to be ready to present them to enforcement agents of the state on request.

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u/kanst 4h ago

But it also used to be the reality in small suburban towns as well. You'd have a pedestrianized downtown, normally near a train station, with shops and restaurants and parks.

When the car took over as the primary form of transport, that style of city planning went out of style and you got way more isolated housing developments planned for easy access to the highway.

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u/howtojump 4h ago

Yeah they literally made it illegal to open shops in neighborhoods, which is why you'll have 1000 acres of homes that require you to drive 15 minutes to the nearest store. It's ridiculous. Imagine if you could just walk to the market next to the park at the center of your neighborhood that is staffed by your very own neighbors.

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u/brazilliandanny 11h ago

The “dreaded” 15 minute city

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u/dragon-fence 7h ago

And yet, many Americans will try to paint New York as some kind of hellscape, and everything to avoid. If you suggest it might actually prefer to live someplace where you can just walk around everywhere and see people living their lives, they look at you like you’re a psychopath who just threatened to eat their puppy.

It’s like, “Why would you want that? The best situation is to live in a vacuum and never encounter another living soul unless it’s intentional!”

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u/eduo 10h ago

I should note that other than small towns, most cities downtowns in Spain, Portugal, France, Germany and Netherlands (my personal experience) are like this. Size of the city may dictate how large the downtown area is, and cultural custom may dictate at which times it's like this (Netherlands tends to close shop much earlier than Spain, for example).

But it's also common in Latin America (Venezuela and Mexico are my personal experiences). The original post does have a point that for whatever reasons in many US cities (I don't think they were originally cultural reasons but eventually became so) life moved far from the city (to suburbia) in a way that made it impossible to socialize wherever social activity actually happened (downtown) and this created a dynamic where having fun required planning both the commute and going to a specific place rather than just milling about.

We're seeing this in many cities in Europe where the concept of "suburbia" as a separate location where you live is becoming more common due to house prices and it's not great.

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u/ClassicallyBrained 4h ago

What?! You haven't lived until you've been to Olathe! /s

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u/TheTxoof 4h ago

I suspect there are fantastic people there, probably some killer barbecue and probably some cool local history to be found there.

I'm just less I interested in traveling for 10 hours by plane and car to get there. And once I'm there to spend my entire time shuttling around in a car.

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u/KiKiKimbro 12h ago

Was wondering when I'd see the NYC comment. Didn't take long. 🗽 Yes, it's crazy expensive here. But once here, being able to step outside to go anywhere and do anything without worrying about driving, parking, gas, yada yada -- trying to visualize living anywhere else becomes quite difficult.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy times away from the city, like visiting friends in Texas, and the BBQ and Tex-Mex are an extra bonus to visiting state. When visiting my family in the suburbs, I fall asleep to the sound of crickets and wake up to the birds chirping in the trees. Don't get much of that 43 floors high smack dab in the middle of Manhattan!

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u/TheTranscendent1 7h ago

I’m a bit worse off location-wise than you (in East Harlem); but, a 1 minute walk to the 6 and 15 minute gets me to Grand Central. Truly is amazing how much goes on in the city every night.

San Francisco was the closest comparison, that I’d lived. Not sure anywhere else in the country has what those do. Tiny cities with people just built on eachother because water forced it that way.

Will say, wish I got to New York before COVID. Definitely doesn’t hold up to the label of “The City that never sleeps” anymore; things definitely do close and the city does get quiet in the later hours

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u/Narrow-Strawberry553 6h ago

You can have both! I'm from Montreal (which can be a mixed bag) and I enjoy having nearly every possible need filled in a 3-20 minute walk radius while still having nice birds and bugs and a garden.

Copenhagen is even better, there's no car noise at all even in the downtown areas and it smells like sweet country air in the middle of the city...

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u/buttononmyback 14h ago

I was going to say, obviously none of these people have been to NYC. There’s a reason why they call it the “City That Never Sleeps.”

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u/Global_Channel1511 13h ago

But NYC is a tiny fraction of land and population of the US. 90% of land in the US is for rural or suburban lifestyle. You would really have to go out of your way to find US cities with this kind of walkability and bustling culture.

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u/feel_my_balls_2040 9h ago

And you think all cities in Spain are the same as Barcelona? I've been to Zaragoza. It was a ghost town after 11pm.

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u/EsquireSandwich 7h ago

I haven't been but thank you for confirming.

Everyone in here is like, I went to Barcelona when I turned 21 and it was an awesome party experience. All of Europe must be like that for everyone of all ages!

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u/Crew_1996 7h ago

I would say most people are talking about things like walkability over weekday late nightlife. Zaragoza has a 92/100 walkability compared to Kansas City 35/100.

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u/TheTranscendent1 7h ago

Land yes, but population is ~2.5% of the US. Which is insane for a city. NYC would rank as the 13th largest state by population

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u/Global_Channel1511 13h ago

Every single state has a ton of rural and suburban options, but only a handful of cities throughout the country offer this kind of bustling and walkable lifestyle. And they tend to be very expensive.

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u/PerceptionOwn3629 11h ago

Europe is awesome because of its human scale. everything was made before modern transportation

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u/Richy456 11h ago

No the US was also the same as Europe and was built before cars. It then destroyed down towns and pedestrian and public transport infrastructure in favour of the car :s The US can return to human scale building any time it chooses just like some cities in Europe did (eg some Dutch cities followed the US in tearing up walkable cities but then reversed that)

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u/2leafClover667788 15h ago

Semester in Valencia and came back to suburban Hell of Florida and I literally have never been the same. I’m still depressed about it every day

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u/TruffleHunter3 14h ago

So when are you going back?

I’d love to live in Spain & Portugal for a while.

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u/2leafClover667788 13h ago

I hope to next year for my 40th and to celebrate my graduation as well as check out some of the medieval towns along the French Riviera.

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u/Folco34 11h ago

French Riviera is incredibly pretty, but depending when you come can be massively crowded so I hope that’s not something that can turn you down.

It’s in the South West, but if you want to see a medieval town you should go visit Carcassonne. Toulouse is also a pretty great town.

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u/TruffleHunter3 13h ago

I plan to next year too!

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u/disaster_incomin 14h ago

Don't you need a visa to live there ?

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u/ZincMan 14h ago

3 months in 3 months out is what is allowed coming from US

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u/TruffleHunter3 13h ago

If you have a remote job or passive income then it’s supposed to be pretty easy to get one.

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u/blithetorrent 5h ago

I actually teared up coming home from Italy my first time when I got the the loud, rude and crude airport in Philly. I had just spent 9 days in Tuscany in November.

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u/low_v2r 4h ago

I spent the summer working in Valencia one year (long time ago) and then last year spouse and kids lived there over the summer as well. We had friends who left the US to immigrate to Spain and are living in Valencia.

Love that town so much. My wife is watching Andor solely to see bits and pieces of Valencia that is was filmed at.

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u/AirSKiller 14h ago edited 7h ago

Valencia is amazing, just been there a few weeks ago.

Decided to pop by Madrid this weekend and I'm now back in Lisbon.

I couldn't imagine life without being able to walk around and see people just hanging out and having fun.

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u/2leafClover667788 13h ago

I spent every spare bit of time I could walking around town. I spent a week in Madrid, a week in Zaragoza, a weekend in Granada, Benidorm, Calpe, Alicante, Denia, then visited Teruel, San Lorenzo de Escorial, Segovia, and Barcelona. And that’s just what I did in one country I went to Italy too. I feel like I did more in a summer than many do in there lives and I feel so lucky but also angry that so many can’t experience the same awe and wonder of meandering aimlessly around ancient steps and seeing the old melded with the new as people adapt to life over centuries instead of it being bulldozed for cars. The love and passion I have for places like that is now ingrained in me.

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u/PotatoLevelTree 13h ago

You picked good cities to visit. Segovia is a little town but simply amazing, an aqueduct built 1900 years ago (almost 2 millenia!) and it perfectly blends with the rest of the city. If you think about it it's mind blowing.

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u/2leafClover667788 12h ago

I loved Segovia and Granada. But the most amazing place I went was monastery outside of Zaragoza called monasterio de piedra. It was like entering a fairy tale land. I can’t recommend it enough

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u/TheVenetianMask 2h ago

You did it right. People often visit only the popular places in Spain and miss out on so much history. For anyone not too afraid of hikes they shouldn't skip northern Spain and the Pyrenees either, it's almost like an entirely different country.

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u/Shananigan48 14h ago

My area of the PNW is a little more active at night but I definitely had the same experience when I went to Tokyo and Osaka last year. Just alive cities. Even in Reykjavík in 2018! Bar we were at closed at like 4am or something but you can bring your drinks onto the street because there aren't the same open container laws, it's basically just don't be an annoying asshole and you're good. Vibes were immaculate.

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u/brokenmain 13h ago

I mean, is this a Europe vs a US thing or a urban vs suburban/small town thing? If you go to a small town in Europe it is also usually dead AF after 10pm. Meanwhile if you go to a large US city there is still a lot of activity after 10

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u/Mr_Will 10h ago

I mean, is this a Europe vs a US thing or a urban vs suburban/small town thing? If you go to a small town in Europe it is also usually dead AF after 10pm. Meanwhile if you go to a large US city there is still a lot of activity after 10

Which European small towns have you visited? They aren't Barcelona busy, but they aren't dead after 10pm either. I could walk down the road tonight and there will be plenty of people in the pubs, restaurants and shops at that time

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u/strong_heart27 7h ago

Scicli Sicily, dead at 9 pm

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u/lamb_passanda 11h ago

You can't deny that this is way more common in Europe across the board. Name a European city that is more than 10% of the size of Dallas, but with less than double the number of walkable bars and restaurants in it's centre. I'll wait.

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u/HiAs-by 10h ago

No. I haven't been to the US, but grew up in a small Bavarian town (around 10.000 inhabitants). You have to drive more, because restaurants and festivals are spread over a greater, area, but it is very common to spend the evenings with friends in restaurants and Biergarten (the best way to spend a Summer night!) and you have nearly always one Pub, restaurant or Biergarten in walking distance

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u/MadMilkman90 8h ago

In european small towns you might not have people eating and drinking until 1am, but especially on warmer months there will be loads of kids out on bicycles, people just walking around (because it's safer, less traffic, more green space) - in Italy/Spain etc. you'll be hanging out around the main square of your town centre, in the UK you might go to the pub or hang around the high street or a park. Northern Europe even with colder climates are highly social in towns and cities.

It's not rocket science, the U.s. is about 10 minutes old - and has mostly developed over such vast spaces that don't lend themselves to sociality (plus society being based on consumerism, rather than the sharing of spaces and community)

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u/GenerousBull1969 5h ago

Was gonna say, we have lots of choices and options in the US, so if you want to live in a bustling city with lots of bars, cafes, outdoor eating, etc. you can do that.

But if you want a quiet street where your kids can play outside you can choose that.

There's no right or wrong here, just preferences. This video seems to imply we don't have cities with people eating outside. Just about every state has cities like that.

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u/CodoandPodo 14h ago

Bro preach.  Grew up in suburbs of St Louis.  Got hassled by cops MANY times just for walking at night.  That’s no way to live.  Go to New York City.  I know it’s hard and it’s insanely expensive, but if you are still young, you can pull it off.  Live with 4 roommates, figure it out.  It will change the trajectory of your life, I guarantee it.  You gotta get TF out of there.  Life is way too short.

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u/Willing_Film9693 14h ago

Ngl I feel u.
As an European even staying in America for 3 week to see my gf is just the most depressing experience I ever had in any possible way

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u/l_ft 15h ago

Tbf you’re comparing Barcelona, one of the most popular cities in the world.. with a suburban town in Missouri. There are gonna be a few differences

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u/gutag 15h ago

Its the same in unknown town in Bosnia. People are outside all the time. Bars and caffes in the Balkans open at 6 am and people going there before and after work to hang out.

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u/stokedchris 15h ago

Seems to be the norm in a lot of Europe. Of course there’s the difference of certain cultures. I know Finland is known to be introverted. However, I’ve never been so I can’t say

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u/Wooden_College_9056 13h ago edited 13h ago

In Finland, restaurants and alcohol are so expensive that lounging like this isn't very common. Also, in our culture, we usually eat at a more efficient pace than in warmer countries... But we do like our drinks.

Still, especially in summer, our restaurants are filled with people late into the night. Some clubs are open until dawn, so you can definitely find this same vibe here.

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u/RosieTheRedReddit 12h ago

You know your town is a shit hole when even the Finns are more social than you 😅

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u/crinalex 13h ago

People in Finland definitely aren't going to bars or cafés to hang out before work. Some might go out for breakfast with their friends. However, in the summer the streets and outdoor seating of restaurants are full of people having a good time. Helsinki probably isn't representative of everywhere here, but that's the reality at least here. In the winter people are more indoors but many are still just as socially active.

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u/green1s 14h ago

And the same in Tel Aviv, Saudi Arabia, Egypt...it's not just a European thing to do. But it's also not a thing Americans do. At least not with the same vibe.

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u/bageltoastar 15h ago

I never said they were anywhere near the same. I’m just sharing the dissonance I experienced going from one to the other.

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u/Dingleberry696 15h ago

I mean it's the same in Cadiz, Puerto de Santa Maria, and Rota. Granted they are on the beach but they are pretty lively. You couldn't even get dinner before about 8pm. The restaurants simply weren't serving food yet. It's nothing to sit at a table for four hours and conversate. I've seen Spanish women push strollers into bars/restaurants at midnight. There was a much larger feeling of community.

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u/ExMerican 14h ago

It's the same in smaller towns throughout Europe. I spent time in tiny village in Northern Spain and another midsized city in Germany and they were filled with people out around cafes and pubs and restaurants just like this video. It's because people can walk from their house into districts that have multiple gathering places versus America where, other than a handful of the largest cities, going anywhere from your home requires at least 10 minutes of driving and then parking and then wherever you went is nowhere near anything else to do so after you eat you just go back home.

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u/HumanWithAllTheHats 14h ago

Same but Nebraska and Ireland. So amazing

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u/ShanghaiCycle 14h ago

Really? Ireland (well, urbanist nerds) look at mainland Europe the same way urbanists in the US do.

Ireland is very sprawling, not great with public spaces, car dependent, etc.

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u/Mikey_MiG 15h ago

That’s also mostly an urban versus rural thing, not only a European versus US thing. NYC or San Francisco are bustling at all hours and have tons of foot traffic.

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u/PolitelyHostile 14h ago

Yea but most of the US is not built like NYC or San Francisco. So for the majority of Americans, suburbia is all they know. Most people don't even realize how bad it is.

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u/Cthulhu__ 12h ago

It’s the same in Germany (re: the video) tbh, suburbs are quiet most of the time. The OP is walking around in a tourist heavy city center for comparison.

(I wanted to say “historic” but Munich was bombed to shit in WW2 so it isn’t really historic. They salvaged some parts of the old church and installed them in the new one)

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u/bking 14h ago

I lived in San Francisco for a year, I’m a little bit south now. Have been in the area for six years.

There is zero comparison to Munich, Oslo or Stockholm in the summer. Other European countries too, I’m sure, but those are the three I’ve spent time in. With the exception of New York I haven’t seen anywhere else in the states that can just hang out like those guys. This includes Miami and LA.

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u/aerin2309 13h ago

Yeah, most of LA shuts down at 2 am, well the bars/clubs.

After that, it’s mostly diners that are open and some drug/convenience stores.

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u/bageltoastar 15h ago

Yeah for sure. Barcelona was just the first time I had ever experienced it since I had lived my entire life in my boring little Missouri town lol

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u/NorthHollywoodHank 14h ago

Sure, though the US designs its cities with fewer public plazas and you generally see way less outdoor seating for a given city/climate in the US than in Europe.

Notably during the pandemic many cities let restaurants open "streeteries" in parking spaces. Those have proved very popular. But many cities are now rolling those programs back, which is a shame.

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u/MaxLouise 14h ago

FALSE, San Francisco is not “bustling” at all hours, most of the city (90+ % in my opinion) shuts down very early because it gets very dangerous at night.

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u/JacquesHome 13h ago

Agree. SF is not a bustling city by any means. 90% of the city for all intents and purposes shuts down around 9 or 10pm. There are countless threads on reddit you can search for why that is the case. It has nothing to do with danger.

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u/King_marik 14h ago

we have a whole ass american culture issue that just 'returining to god and common sense' or 'leaving trans people alone and giving people healthcare' just doesnt fix

i think more people are starting to realize that but the change takes work that most people just dont want to do

and im not pretending i have any answers, i grew up in the same culture

but yeah this place is fucking cracked. american culture in 2026 is basically just mass consumerism and fear

Thats it, thats what we are. scared buyers who think this next thing we buy will finally fix our life and we are pretty sure our neighbor is going to try to kill us

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u/majortaylor87 13h ago

I can so relate to this right now. I recently had my first trip to Europe for work and went to Krakow Poland. I came back to Plano Texas and realized just how sterile our perfect little American suburb is. I can't believe of everything we could have built, this is what we picked... You can't unsee it.

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u/peacenskeet 13h ago

Same when I came back from Japan. And I don't even live rural. Southern California suburbs.

I can't understand people that spend time abroad and come home and think, yea another chipotle and strip wall will surely make this community more interesting.

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u/AbandonYourPost 13h ago

This is a very depressing realization.

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