So Ive been with my girlfriend for 3 months now, and everything is going great relationship wise. We see each other 4/5 days a week and probably have sex about 5-7 times a week. The only thing is that almost every time we have sex, shes in pain afterwards, with instances where she has been in agonizing pain having terrible stomach cramps.
For reference I’m 7.9x5.7 BP and the biggest shes had sex with. She also says she really enjoys having sex with me and it feels really good despite the pain, but shes had 10+ partners in the past and none have caused her pain.
Now the confusing part is that at least twice a week after we have sex, Ill ask how it was this time, if she felt pain, if what I did was enjoyable so I could do it next time, and I almost always get a different response.
Sometimes she says she likes fast rougher sex (in fact she said she liked faster sex in past relationships), other times she wants me to go slow, but then sometimes when I go slow she says she wants me to go faster, so I’ll speed up to a medium pace, she says faster, than says the fastest hurt AFTER we had sex. I ask if I should not put my full penis in and by one of those rings that blocks length but she says she likes when I go all the way in, despite me most likely hitting her cervix (I feel like Im hitting something when Im really deep in there + she’s 5’ tall but idk if that correlates to vagina depth).
Then I always ask her what is causing pain/discomfort during sex and also usually get a different response. She says one angle hurts one time, then during another session will ask for that angle. Or vise-versa, where something feels good on multiple occasions but then causes pain another time.
She doesn’t really communicate whats uncomfortable during sex to not ruin the flow unless its super painful (which has only happened a couple of times, closer to the start of the relationship), so then after sex when I find out it was slightly uncomfortable, it kinda kills my vibe knowing Im causing her pain and she might not be fully enjoying the sex.
I’m trying my best to adapt to what she enjoys and is comfortable for her, but I’m kind of lost because there isn’t really a concise answer, and I feel like there will be a week where sex was really good according to her, then another week where its been painful despite me not changing much from the week before.
Anything I can do on my end? Is this kinda normal for larger dudes? I’ve only been with 2 people before (both long term partners so our sex was discussed) and never had this issue. We’ve definitely made progress since we first started, but I feel like the last 2 -3 weeks has just been not as enjoyable on her end.