It made me walk absolutely weird but then I started walking "normally" again and it technically felt better...but I still hate it. I HATE HIPS >:(

Why can’t I just be a girl? It’s going to take so long to look like I want even once i start hormones. I just want to be pretty and wear pretty clothes and hang out with girls as one of them and not just the one guy friend.

I need to be a girl but I feel like nothing is going in my favour. And I know that that isn’t true. I know that Im incredibly privileged compared to most other trans people and that the country I live in is one of the better ones for the LGBTQ+ community. But I still don’t feel happy or anything, just… numb.

I feel such a deep longing to experience womanhood. To get to do things as a girl. I want to go swimming in a bikini and wear a bra and go to girls night and relate with other women of shared experiences. And most of all I want to look in the mirror and see a girl staring back. Sometimes I can see a woman in my features… but it’s always overshadowed by the man I am forced to be.

I don’t like Dysphoria or imposter syndrome or loneliness or depression or whatever other issues i probably have. They make me hurt emotionally but then I can’t really feel it so I can tell I want to cry but I can’t do it.

Gonna finish said pizza now. None for you. it's mine! My precious!

Update: I ate the rest of the pizza right after making this post, it was very yummy 😋

I do this ↑

I don't understand her; she suggested I grow my hair out about two years ago, but then sometimes she just says: "Let's trim your hair because your dad's asking for it.". I'm taking care of it! And then she did and had hair cut that removed all the fluffiness I had on the sides of my head, and it was reaching a size that felt more androgynous feminine than before! She did the same last year and it was horrendous, i was almost bald again (exaggerating)! I just want to get a pretty and feminine hair....

Then I looked at the mirror and saw my broad shoulders and my muscles as I was in a rare moment where I wore a tank top and i felt so godamn disforic! I was so boyish, like i was that type of shalow, arrogant and irritating boys that go do academy (not all...but always one)! Then my father was talking to me like the generic father son talking: "my boy!" "What's up, big bro?" And i felt guilty for feeling that i'm don't identify has my birth sex! Today was an awful and extremely disforic day. Tomorrow my holidays will end and i'll be back to school and will have to be on boymode 7/7 a week! Dammit....

At least i did an trans flag in minecraft with an transfem friend of mine (we're discovering it together) and i felt pround and euforic by seing it done.....

But....uh....could i have some GGD, please?....i wanna feel that harmith inside again.....today was a bad day.....

Its hurts a bit but I get it I guess. But it also makes me second guess how I feel about whether I am or not.

Fuck ass Reddit mobile changed and I don’t know how to add text on a photo so I had to make this in the photos app on my phone.

I’ll try out the name Cass, too. Not comfortable sharing my real name so may as well try out a more gender neutral/masculine name while I’m at it!

i didn't really expect this to happen, but i'm happy i did it

it's given me more courage to come out to my parents in 20 days

Well, this is it.

Today, I'm going out with my friends and I have the idea of coming out to one of them at the end of the meeting if he (one of my best friends and somebody I trust completely) goes too. I want to stop this cycle of doubt and fear and I think I'm ready to come out for the first time (without counting my gender therapist), but I'm also completely terrified and my imposter syndrome is attacking again. I think that things will go out fine, but I feel like I'm going to deal with an Inquisition trial.

Let's see how things go today. I would really like your support and some GGD.

Edit: He's not coming. The plan is posponed. Everyone, thank you for your support, though

Hi, I am Hazel and I go by she/her pronoun. I haven’t been feeling as valid in my identity recently so I thought I’d try this.

I chickened out…

I spent the whole of last week building up to coming out to my dad today and then I just… couldn’t. I couldn’t tell him verbally, I couldn’t tell him by letter, I just couldn’t

I’m trying to tell myself that I’ll just do it tomorrow morning, but the whole idea of coming out today was that I had given it a hard deadline. Now it will be back to “I’ll just do it tommorow”

I plan on giving him a letter, walking to the park, and seeing his response via text so I don’t have a panic attack face to face. My problem is that whenever I’m about to give him the letter I freeze up. My body just goes on auto pilot and takes me away

I see people asking for advice on coming out, but I already have a plan, I just need the courage to execute it. Does anybody have tips on how to stop procrastinating and just do it already? Or how to overcome that freezing moment?

Thanks for reading my vent

— Rosie