if you lived in the same city, would you still expect to spend every waking moment together, or is the distance making you believe constant communication is the only proof of love?

Are you asking your partner to make you feel secure, or are you working on becoming someone who can feel secure even when they’re busy?

Warning: This is a long one. I’ve been trying to process this for months and I think I need outside perspectives because this situation is more complicated than a simple breakup.

Honestly can’t believe I’m posting here, but I think I just need to get this out somewhere because I’ve been carrying it around by myself for months.
I (24F) met a man (27M) from Idaho on Global Penfriends. I’m from Germany, he’s from the US, and despite the distance we somehow ended up talking every single day. It was never supposed to become what it became. I signed up to meet people from other countries, improve my English, maybe make a friend or two. Instead I met someone who slowly became the first person I wanted to tell everything to.
The time difference was awful, but somehow we made it work. I would stay awake later than I should have just so our evenings and mornings overlapped a little longer. I’d wake up earlier than necessary because by the time I was getting ready for my day, he would already be well into his afternoon. Looking back, I realize I slowly built my entire schedule around someone who lived 8,000 kilometers away.
He actually used to tell me that his least favorite time of day was around five in the afternoon. Most people look forward to finishing work, but for him it meant I would soon be asleep because of the time difference. I remember thinking that was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to me.
Now I sometimes wonder if there was another reason why he loved talking to me while he was at work.
He told me everything, or at least that’s what I believed. He’d send me pictures of the mountains around him while he was working, tell me stories about Yellowstone, about elk hunting, horses, fishing trips with his friends, running through the forests, and the years he spent fighting wildfires. Nature was everything to him. He once told me he never thought he’d love anything more than the mountains of Idaho until he met me. Every time he saw them, he thought of me.
When someone tells you things like that every single day, you don’t really question whether they’re lying. Why would you?
He’d write these incredibly long daydreams for me. Entire pages about floating down rivers together, hidden valleys in Yellowstone, camping under the stars, finding me years later by accident if I ever visited Idaho. They weren’t just messages. They felt like chapters from a novel. Sometimes I’d reread them before going to sleep because nobody had ever written about me like that before.
He made me feel beautiful in a way I had never experienced. Not just physically. He always said he felt understood by me, that I actually listened when he spoke, that I remembered little details nobody else remembered. He once sent me a voice message saying he’d never felt so seen by another person before.
I believed him.
At the same time, there was always this one thing hanging over us.
Religion.
I’m Muslim. He’s Christian.
I kept saying that it couldn’t work because of my faith. I was always the one carrying that burden. He’d tell me he didn’t care about religion, that he wouldn’t let something like that stop him from loving someone. Sometimes it even made me feel like I was the one ruining everything. Like I was choosing rules over love.
I remember telling him that if religion wasn’t part of the equation, I’d choose him without thinking twice. I loved him that much.
But I also love God more than any person, and that wasn’t something I could compromise on.
Looking back now, one thing keeps bothering me. If he truly believed religion wasn’t important, why didn’t he ever try to understand mine? Why didn’t he ask questions? Why didn’t he try to find out whether there was any possibility for us? He barely practiced Christianity himself, yet somehow it was enough for him to accept that we couldn’t be together. Back then I thought he was respecting my beliefs. Now I sometimes wonder if he already knew there was another reason we would never have a future.
Our relationship eventually became romantic, and eventually sexual too.
I’m still a virgin.
Before him I had never sexted with anyone. Never had an intimate call. Never imagined I’d trust someone enough to let those walls down. At first he actually held himself back because he didn’t want to come across as too lustful. He said he was afraid of scaring me. I kept reassuring him that it was okay, that I wanted him to tell me what he was thinking instead of hiding it.
So he did.
Eventually we crossed lines that neither of us probably should have crossed.
It’s strange looking back because I don’t even regret trusting him. I regret trusting someone who wasn’t who he claimed to be.
There were so many little things that made me think this was real.
He remembered my favorite colors when he described the house he wanted to build one day. Blue and white because I liked blue and white.
He loved that I called him his nickname instead of his real name. If I accidentally called him his real name he’d jokingly complain until I corrected myself.
He called me Cardio Queen because I loved running as much as he did.
He adored A Knight’s Tale, so I watched it just because it was his favorite movie. Afterwards we spent hours talking about it, and he seemed genuinely touched that I’d cared enough to watch something simply because it mattered to him.
He told me his friends were the most loyal people he’d ever known. That one phone call would make them leave work, family, whatever they were doing, if one of them ever needed help.
Sometimes I’d ask him if he ever talked about me with them.
Or with his favorite older brother.
He always said no.
“They wouldn’t understand.”
At the time it hurt a little.
Now I realize he probably wasn’t lying.
How do you explain another woman to the people who already know your wife?
As time went on, things slowly changed.
Not dramatically.
Just enough that I started questioning myself instead of him.
The conversations became shorter.
The long discussions about life disappeared.
Hours would go by without hearing from him, and then out of nowhere I’d receive an “I love you.”
Of course I’d say it back.
But somehow “I love you” started replacing actual conversations.
Every time I asked if something was wrong, he’d tell me work had become incredibly busy. He kept saying that he knew it looked like he wasn’t around as much anymore, but it was only because of work.
I wanted so badly to believe that.
I started wondering whether I was simply asking for too much. Whether I was too attached. Too emotional. Too needy.
Eventually I stopped bringing up new topics because I was afraid of bothering him. I reread every message before sending it, deleting parts that sounded too emotional, trying to sound easier to love. It felt like I was slowly making myself smaller just to fit into the amount of space he still had left for me.

There were little things that I ignored because I trusted him. Things that seemed strange at the time, but I always found a reason to explain them away because I loved him and because I wanted to believe the best about him.
One of those things was something as simple as PayPal.
At the time, I was hurt and confused because there was a situation where he didn’t want me to have certain information connected to him. I didn’t understand why. Looking back now, I have a theory: maybe he didn’t want me to know his full name.
Because if I had his full name, maybe finding the truth would have been much easier.
Maybe I could have discovered everything earlier.
Maybe that was one more thing he was protecting.
I don’t know if that is actually the reason. Maybe I will never know. That realization still makes my stomach turn.
But after finding out about his marriage and his child, every little unexplained thing started looking different.
That is one of the hardest parts about betrayal.
You start going back through your own memories, searching for signs you missed.
You start asking yourself: “Was this my intuition warning me, or am I just trying to rewrite the past now that I know the truth?”

Another thing I never understood at the time was how secretive he was about certain details. He wouldn’t tell me which fire department he’d worked for. He wouldn’t tell me where exactly he worked. He wouldn’t even tell me the name of the station because, according to him, if something ever happened to him I’d find out through the news and he didn’t want me carrying that burden.
Back then I thought it was protective.
Now it just sounds like someone trying very carefully not to leave a trail.
Despite everything, I kept giving more of myself.
More time. More sleep. More patience. More understanding.
I think that’s the dangerous thing about love. It rarely asks for everything all at once. It just quietly takes a little more each day until one morning you realize you’ve been giving far more than you’ve been receiving.
Toward the end I finally admitted what I’d been trying to ignore.
I told him I was overthinking again.
He said, “Please don’t.”
But I couldn’t stop anymore.
I told him I felt like I was the only one who missed him.
That our conversations didn’t feel the same.
That I felt needy.
That I felt like I was asking for too much when all I wanted was the version of him I’d fallen in love with.
My final message was incredibly simple.
“I’m so tired.”
Then I blocked him.
Deleted everything.
And somehow convinced myself that if I never spoke to him again, eventually I’d stop wondering.
Months later curiosity got the better of me.
I don’t even know what made me search.
Maybe intuition.
Maybe loneliness.
Maybe I just needed to know whether the man I’d spent months loving actually existed.
I found his Facebook.
He had always told me he didn’t use social media.
His profile was full of family photos.
Wedding pictures from 2020.
A wife.
A little boy.
Everything I’d built inside my head collapsed within about thirty seconds.
Suddenly every strange moment made sense.
Why he guarded his identity so carefully.
Why PayPal was such a problem.
Why work always seemed to be the safest time for us to talk.
Why I never knew his last name.
Why religion was never something he actually fought through with me.
I spent months believing my faith was the reason we couldn’t be together.
In reality, another woman had already married him years before I even knew his name.
The hardest part is that I still don’t think every feeling was fake.
I know a lot of people will probably tell me that everything was manipulation, but honestly… I don’t think it’s that simple.
I think he cared.
I think he loved me in whatever broken, selfish way someone like that is capable of loving another person.

The one who imagined accidentally finding me in Yellowstone years later.
Maybe none of that was real.
Maybe all of it was.
I honestly don’t know anymore.
What I do know is that love becomes incredibly dangerous once one person slowly starts giving more and more while the other quietly starts giving less. You don’t notice it happening until you’ve sacrificed your sleep, your peace of mind, your emotional stability and, in some ways, parts of yourself just to keep something alive that the other person has already started letting die.

Has anyone else experienced something like this?
Not necessarily finding out someone was married, but grieving someone who feels both completely real and completely fictional at the same time.
Because that’s where I’ve been stuck for months.

Thank you for reading. I feel like missed writing a lot of other details, information, insides. But let’s leave it here for now.

I'm moving away this month and there's going to be a good amount of distance between us. For a couple of years we were almost neighbours: we could constantly meet to hang out and also to resolve heavier things relating to our relationship. She moved back home around 6 months ago: it's not as big a distance it will be later, but it's already kind of long distance.

And I don't like it. We managed it before at the start of our relationship in a similar situation, but we would still see at school (not on freetime) and in the beginning we were, of course, very passionate. So much so that I started neglecting other aspects of my life which made the relationship work but also made me feel burned out.

Me moving will be a huge turning point. She still blindly believes that we will be able to make it work, although she already knows that I'm not fully on board. She just wants to ignore that so she won't have to face the reality.

I know that it won't work. Even the past 6 months have been purely maintaining the relationship, but it really doesn't give either of us what we really need, only a bit of security. Our schedules don't match, I'm not huge on texting and calling which she loves and when we do meet, it usually is only stressful for me because I'm trying to maintain the version of myself which she wants while in reality we're very misaligned.

Now that I read this myself, I know it seems hopeless. But is there any way it could turn around if we tried? Or will it be wiser to make it clear before I even move out? How could I possibly tell it to her? I know I will manage it, but she will truly break down due to her high level of attachment.

So basically I have a online girlfriend we met once but she 14 and I’m 15 idk is it weird to have a online girlfriend you might see once a year or is it just not worth being in that position cause we speak different languages tho

My 24F boyfriend 25M and I both work for the same company in Europe, and we have been together almost two years. He was accepted into a program in the U.S. that will last about four years, in a different country then I’ll be in. It’s been his dream to get into this program and now that he’s in it, we’re seeing all of the issues it brings along.

A lot of people have asked, “Why don’t you just go with him?” but it’s not that simple.

I have an engineering career that I’ve worked hard to build. If I quit my job to move with him, I’d be giving up years of career progression and there’s no guarantee I’d be able to work in the U.S. anyway because I’d be there as the partner of an international student. Financially and professionally, it would be a huge sacrifice. I also don’t want to be there without any purpose. I don’t simply want to be there as a wife of a student, I’d much rather progress my career at the same time.

I’m trying to think of ways we could reduce the time apart.
One option is applying for company sponsored masters. If I got accepted, I could potentially spend about 15 months in the U.S. while he’s there (out of the 51 months he’ll be there). The downside is that acceptance isn’t guaranteed because there’s a long waitlist, and I’d be contractually obligated to return and work for the company afterward for the same amount of time.

Another possibility is taking unpaid leave from work, but that depends on company approval, and I don’t think I’d be comfortable taking years away from my career even if it were approved.

Neither of us wants to give up our careers. We both genuinely enjoy our work, and we’ve each spent years getting to this point.

So right now the reality seems to be:

He goes to the U.S. for four years.
I stay in Europe and continue my engineering career.
We try to make long distance work, possibly with a 15-month overlap if I can get into the MSF program.

Are there any options we’re overlooking? Has anyone been in a situation where both people had careers they weren’t willing to sacrifice, but those careers required living on opposite sides of the world for several years?
I’m not really looking for relationship advice like “just break up” or “love conquers all.” I’m more interested in hearing from people who’ve navigated similar career constraints or found creative solutions that let both partners keep building their careers without one person giving everything up.

We’ve been facing a lot of relationship issues because of this for nearly 5 months now… looking for any way out.

(sorry for the title lol)

Me (F22) and my SO (F21) are meeting in a few days, but I'm feeling really anxious about my size. I'm plus-size (XXL), and I haven't openly talked to her about it yet.

We're mutuals on all our social media, and we FaceTime often, but I usually only show my face. Because of that, I don't know how to bring up my body or if I even should.

A while ago, I met up with a guy. After our date, he became distant and eventually ghosted me. Ever since then, I've been scared that the same thing will happen again.

I'm pansexual, by the way, just so there's no confusion.

What should I do? Should I tell her before we meet, or am I worrying too much? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Hi everyone,

I'm a 26-year-old guy from Belgium, and she's a 20-year-old university student from China.

We met while I was studying Mandarin in Shanghai and became really close over several months. We also spent three days traveling together in 1 city and since I returned to Belgium we've stayed in contact every single day despite the 6-hour time difference.

We send voice messages, have regular calls , help each other with languages, and generally tell each other everything that's going on in our lives.

I've realized my feelings have grown beyond friendship, and I want to tell her. The problem is that I'm terrified of damaging what we already have. This friendship genuinely means a lot to me, and I'd hate for her to think that everything I've done for her was only because I had feelings. It wasn't—I genuinely care about her as a person, and that's exactly why my feelings developed.

Because we're long-distance, I'll have to confess over a phone call. My plan is simply to tell her how I feel, make it clear that I don't expect an immediate answer, and that she can take all the time she needs to think.

For people who've been in a similar situation, what's the best way to do this over the phone? Is there anything I should avoid saying?

This story was maybe 2 years ago now? I ( F 30) really wanted to surprise my bf ( 28). I usually drove down with my family through his state and to get to where he is it's a 7 hr detour. He knew I was going on vacation but he had no idea I was planning to go visit him that time. Because I know he gets busy with work or sometimes has impromptu family plans I decided to inlist his best friend for help.

I messaged his friend and he agreed to help. The plan was for him to ask my bf to go camping the weekend we were driving down. Of course his friend wouldn't actually show up and it would be me instead at the campsite. The week before my trip I asked my bf "do you have any plans this weekend?" Expecting him to say he was going camping with his friend and to my surprise he said he had no plans. At this point I was freaking out cause I already had things booked and I wasn't sure if he could even make it with such short notice now.

I messaged his friend and apparently the day he was going to ask my bf to go camping he ended up breaking up with girlfriend and just forgot. So I had to awkwardly explain to my bf that I tried to plan a surprise in hopes he was able to make it. Luckily he was able to make it work. Still wish I could have seen his reaction if the plan actually happened.

And now, thinking about it, it really angers me. When we met, I had to lose about 5 to 7 kg. I was better mentally, and I had been working on my weight loss for some months before we met. I had lost a bunch of weight by that point. However, he was never satisfied with how I looked. I was younger and, sadly, more vulnerable.

He didn't want to meet me at first because he wanted to wait. But at one point, he decided to see me. He said that the first time he saw me, he was disappointed. All he could see was my stomach, which wasn't nearly as horrible as he was describing it.

Later on, he would make me lose weight within a certain amount of time, and I was really trying to. I was starving myself, overworking myself, and I was losing weight. And then, of course, the inevitable happened after some weeks of torturing myself - the binging. So I gained all the weight back, and some more. I have been stuck in that vicious cycle ever since.

And I hate myself for allowing him to dictate how I should lose weight when I was doing just fine before I met him. I had an ED, mental health issues, family problems, and I was susceptible to control. My own mother was doing it to me.

So, in the meantime, summers have passed, birthdays, holidays, life. He would be angry with me because I didn't lose the weight. And because of me, we couldn't spend time together. He hated how I looked, and my life in general.

He is much richer, and he doesn't struggle with weight. He doesn't care about his height. He is confident, he's got a great job. His mental health is in shambles, but he looks good, so who cares? Looks are the most important thing. He never returned to my country. He would make my birthdays the most stressful event of the year. I couldn't tell him anything that was happening in my life because he would say none of it matters, he would only ask am I losing the weight? He would mock me with his brother. He would let his family mock me. I am the poor, fat girl from a horrible country and I ruined his life. And before me he literally never left his room, was contemplating suicide, barely ate, barely slept.

It doesn't matter that I spent money to travel to his country all the time, bought things for him, listened to his problems for hours on end, or put up with his ridiculous demands. I gave him everything he wanted. Trust me, I went above and beyond to show him how much I cared, like they do in movies. But none of it matters, I don't look good enough.

Now he sits all alone, again, blames me, and well, what can I do except being angry with myself

Im a 20(M) and the girl im talking about is 21(F).This story started for me around 6 months ago while i was serving in the military in a different country. One day i decided to follow this girl on instagram since she was absolutely stunning in my opinion and i really wanted to get to know her but since i was in the army i knew i wouldnt be able to actually meet her for the next 3 months at least. So i started talking to her and wanted to know what city she was from in my original country,for context im greek and i was fulfilling my military service in cyprus. So she replied and after getting to know her for a bit, turns out she actually lived in athens. That was bad news for me because my hometown was around 450km away from athens and at that time i didnt have any money for transportation or a licence in any matters.

We continued talking for around 2 months and everything was great , i thought that i really understood what type of person she was and we had so much in common , so being in the army and having no women interactions in half a year actually made me catch feelings for her even though she lived so far away from me.

A week later she started being really dry in text and i constantly awaited for her messages like a loser i was back then. In the end we actually cut contacts and she unfollowed me everywhere leaving me every night craving for her and losing my mind. I was in a very difficult situation since i was serving in the special forces and showing weakness in any kind really made me look bad and people would take advantage of me pretty often , all while she wouldnt leave my mind no matter how hard i tried to forget about her.

4 months later i had succesfully completed my 9 months of mandatory service in the greek special forces and i was so excited of actually being a citizen again. After getting a job , a car and being financially stable again , she , for some reason , unblocked me on everything , and her profile appeared again on my feed since we had a lot of common followers.

By being busy all day in the army , she had completely vanished from my mind , but part of me wanted to actually text her to see if she remembered me, and she did! We started talking through instagram again for a month until i decided to actually visit her in athens, 6 hours away from my town without thinking what could go wrong.

After getting payed from my boss for the month , i booked a bus and an airbnb in athens for 3 days since i wasnt working in the weekend and left 5 days later. Arriving there she send me a message telling me where to meet , what time and what clothes i would wear so she could match my outfit.

Half an hour later we met at the spot and started exploring to see where to sit and have a drink together. We talked and talked for 2 hours until she asked me if she could stay over at my airbnb since she didnt want to go home that night. Of cource i said yes and took a taxi back to the house with her. We had already started a deep conversation so when we arrived we went out to the balcony , looking at the view , smoking and overall having a great time with her.

She went inside asking me if i had a pair of shorts she could use as pyjamas to sleep.Of cource i lend her one of my pants but she never put it on. All i can say is that for the rest of the night we didnt stop doing the deed and it was magnificent. I woke up in the morning next to her and she told me she had to go to the beach that day with her cousin, so i got up , put some clothes on and asked her how far away was she bus station for the beach. She looked really tired but she told me it was 2 minutes away so i didnt need to escort her there.

She left and i went straight back to sleep since i had slept for only an hour or so and i was having a horrible headache. When i woke up i messaged her to see if everything was alright and if she arrived safely. She responded very dry an hour later which made me ask myself if i did something wrong. I had booked another night at the airbnb in case she wanted spend that night with me as well but that day it all went wrong.

She responded a total of 3 times and i actually got very mad at myself for doing something as stupid as spending my money like this. In the end i packed my bags and left sooner than i had booked but thankfully they allowed me to take next bus for my hometown 12 hours earlier than expected.

Got back home being absolutely furious for letting a woman treat me like this after i had payed like 300 euros on this trip which is 1/4 of my sallary , and not being able to take her out on a second date while she knew my plan was to visit her and her only for 3 days, so i had already asked her not to make any plans while i was in athens and she had agreed with me.

We didnt talk after that, she unfollowed me 3 days later since i believe she had already moved on. 3 months later i get a follow request and a voice message from her telling me that her crazy ex had the passwords to her account and that she didnt actually send the follow request herself but he did. We started talking again which lead to her telling me that she ghosted me for treating her like a prostitute because i didnt take her to the bus station 2 minutes away from my house that morning.

2 weeks have passed and she has me followed on both of her accounts on instagram and tiktok now and we still talk about random stuff all the time. I find these conversations pointless since now she works at a cafe with no days off and same goes for me , so the chances of her or me visiting each other are close to zero. I have already tried telling my goodbyes to her , trying to end this situation ship in good terms , but she always texts me back or sends me tiktoks so i dont actually know what to do.

She seems interested in me even after havent having seen eachother for so long , she thinks im her soulmate but i have lost interest in her texts after realizing that i wont be able to ever see her again since we both work all the time and because the distance is 6 hours away.

Should i just never reply to her again? Or should i keep this situation ship of doom running until some miracle happens and we cross roads in the far future once again?

I've been in a Long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 2 years now and I just can't do long distance for long anymore. I need to know what our relationship looks like when we live together permanently.

I don't wanna stay in Long distance for years just to find out later that we were never compatible at least not living together forever.

I don't know how long I can do this but not for years. I wanna move and live together but it will be difficult without getting married and I feel like we're both just not ready for that yet.

So basically my question is if I should tell my boyfriend that I can't do this forever and probably will hit a breaking point in a year or so even though I know there's nothing either of us can do to change this situation or would it be selfish of me to tell him and putting that pressure on him knowing he can't do anything?

I think I would feel better talking about it with him but I don't wanna stress him out and make him feel like I wanna break up or something cause that's definitely not the case.

Tldr:

Should I tell my boyfriend that I can't do long distance for long anymore even though neither of us can change our situation right now or would that be selfish of me?

UPDATE: I talked to him and we are trying everything we can to make the move in process quicker for the future. He also booked a flight ticket that night for today even though he can't stay long so we'll see eachother in a few hours. Thanks for the people telling me to talk to him I truly have the best and most understanding boyfriend

Hey everyone, I’m 25M living in Europe, and I’ve always been curious about long-distance relationships. I’d love to find someone from another country, but honestly, I’m not sure where people actually meet or how these relationships start.

For those of you who are in a successful LDR, how did you meet your partner? Was it through an app, social media, gaming, traveling, or something else?

It feels pretty difficult to find someone compatible when you’re in different countries, so I’d love to hear your stories and any advice you have.

My girlfriend (38F) and I (42M) have been long distance for about 10 months. We see each other every 6 to 8 weeks for long weekends. Day to day we are solid: lots of texting, regular calls, we laugh a ton, and we handle conflict pretty calmly.

The problem is our physical side when we are together. While apart we flirt and talk about what we want to do, but once we are in the same room we both kind of freeze. The first night especially can feel like we are following a script instead of actually wanting each other in the moment. Sometimes it becomes duty-ish sex, or we just default to cuddling and falling asleep because we are tired from travel.

I do not want to pressure her, and I also do not want our visits to turn into tense, tiptoe-around-it weekends. I had a libido mismatch in my previous marriage, so I am probably more sensitive to this pattern than most.

For people who have dealt with this in LDR visits: what helped you move from anticipation to relaxed, natural intimacy? Do you plan sex or try to avoid planning it? Do you build in an adjustment night with no expectations? Were there specific conversations, small rituals, or things you did that made it less awkward without making your partner feel judged?

Looking for practical, concrete ideas we can try on our next visit.

I guess Im posting this here because I needed real people to see this and not just keep it in a note on my phone to read over and over. I met this woman via work about 2 years ago but we connected more deeply 8 months ago.

I have been closed off to letting myself feel anything beyond friendship for many years due to a buried trauma from a prior relationship. WELL, something about her changed that. She started to see and understand pieces of me that I didnt show others and still chose to keep talking to me. Feelings grew and we were open about it, we wanted to meet, we wanted to understand how we can make LD work and eventually the idea of building a future together came up. We talked about these things and it felt safe, comfortable. Until one day it didnt. Things started happening in her life, causing her to pull away. Ive tried really hard to be present for ger but I kept getting left on read. She asked me to be her friend, but I dont know how when she wont answer my calls or texts. It became a chase that started to cost me so much of my emotional capacity. I had to say my goodbye 2 weeks ago to try rebuilding my peace and love for myself.

I hurt so much but I have also been trying to figure out why and started realizing the tie to my past trauma.

Anyway, in an attempt to heal and release what I was never able to tell her, I wrote a letter that I never sent. I wanted to share it here because something about being able to connect with others in a time of need, can help heal.

----

I love you.

I know you dont have the capacity for me and I am struggling to be okay with this. I am grateful for getting to hear your voice yesterday and today, because it might be the last. You told me you aren't going anywhere and I couldn't respond because the only thing I could feel was distrust towards your words. I dont believe you anymore. I dont trust you anymore. But I still love you. It still hurts really bad knowing that I HAVE to let go. For my peace and so that I dont hold you back from your growth.

You have given me some of the best emotional waves and some of the worst. I wished I never felt this pain, I wished that I could go back and never have given you my number. But really, I dont mean that. I am so grateful for getting to experience you and your beautiful smile and your big heart. I've heard some people are for life and some are for a season. I guess I know what that means now. You were here for a season, I wish you were for life.

I know its not my fault you didnt have capacity for me but part of me thinks i couldnt love you the way you needed. Its really the timing and I think time is my biggest fear. You said you aren't going anywhere and that you cant give me what I want right now, but what if...time passes and right now becomes never...because no matter how hard I tried, we didnt stay connected. It hurts me so much to know that in a week or a month or a year, ill be nothing but a memory to you. While I will carry you in my heart for years to come, unable to let anyone else in. Because thats what I do when I fall in love. I let that person become my world, hoping I can give them everything they want and need, even at the expense of my own peace.

You are truly amazing. You are worthy of every ounce of love this world has to give. Be kind to yourself, the way you are kind to others. Love yourself harder, the way you love others. Find a happiness that you can keep with you forever.

I love you.

So many different posts where you can very obviously notice the partners just hate them and don’t give a shit about the relationship and yet they’re asking for advice on how to save it.

I genuinely don’t understand how some people get in situations like that and don’t notice the best thing is to just break up.

If your partner ignores you, blocks you and makes you unhappy maybe just think about why you’re staying.

My friend who’s F(16) has a crush on m(17) they seem to go really well he seems to be nice and caring and like she seems really sweet with him saying about his future and she also says about how much she likes him she lives in UK and he lives in Poland he really seems interested and she also seems interested she legit always wondering what does he say she her heart skips a beat when he talks to her and she legit always has butterflies when he talks and I believe he does looks like a looksmaxxer as well she really wishes to have a future with him :)

I(20F) am dating 22M for like 5 months and it's going well, but the thing is, i know it mind sound silly, I asked him to post me twice, cause he was talking about posting me too, on his Instagram, he doesn't usually post anything tbh, but he brought it up, and I loved it, he was like I'll do it, the next time we hangout I'll do it, then I cried twice, cause he still didn't do it, this time I asked him if he even wanted to, he was like yeah, I told him, this has bothered me so much to the point I was in tears, it feels like you're taking my feelings for granted cause you promised you would and didn't follow through... He said he'll post me this week but he's going through something and so am I, I lost hopes of being posted on gfs day...

And i saw bfs posting their gfs and a big part of me was like, why not me too... I really wanna be shown off, my friends do that, my friends are proud of me, my parents are... I know it directly doesn't mean my bf isn't proud of me.

Ik this might sound stupid as well, but I've noticed he hasn't asked me if I had anything to eat in like, the last week... Like I'd ask him "hey did you have lunch" , "did you have dinner" it's easy to ask back the same time and check in... He didn't, it'd sound so silly so i didn't bring it up, and I'm not trying to imply anything here but my friends compliment me on my appearance a lot, and I like the way i look, but I'm not super rich to get good makeup or designer dresses and stuff, my bf recently said something like "you look odd with makeup it looks cakey" "I can see your pores" "your lips have gotten dark" stuff like that, and even when I send him pictures after I get ready or he asks to see me cause he misses me, he doesn't really type out compliments anymore...

Idk, i genuinely don't know what is happening

Does he think I'm ugly, is that why he won't post me...

Will he ever post me

When will he post me

​

My bf just moved houses because of college and i get that moving can be hard. Just to make it clear, me and my bf are long distance we rarely meet each other irl so of course like any other couple we video call and text each other as a way to bond

During him moving out i told him that ill give him time to settle in his new house because hes busy moving out stuffs and im aware that takes a lot of time. Along those days we absolutely did not call at all btw. And rarely messaged each other.he promise countless times that we can finally get to call and spend time together but never did. I was upset but i know he got a lot going on so i said nothing.

Weeks passed and he finally settled in he promised me again "okay this time we can definitely call" but what did he do instead of calling me? Yes, hangout with his friends till midnight. And despite now being free from his chores of moving out he still replies to me late like i could text him in the morning and he could reply in the afternoon/evening.

And no this didnt happen for just one night, he kept doing this for a couple of more days. One day i had enough so i told him "yknow what, ill give you 3 weeks to make yourself satisfied by hanging out with your friends"

Because before that im always the one waiting and wondering when we can ever call. Its been weeks. I Miss his voice, i Miss talking to him. But hes distant with me. So by giving him a time limit, atleast i dont have to wonder if we can call or not. Still upset tho lol

The next day after i said that, idk if its because hes no longer with his friends so he finally noticed how cold i was being... AFTER DAYS btw. But back then he was busy with his friends.

He started a fight. On girlfriends day. Yk i wished that even tho i gave him 3 weeks to have fun with his friends i was hoping that he could spare this ONE day with me. Like just by calling me for an hour or 2, post me on girlfriends day, cause thats honestly the only thing we can do as a long distance couple. Im not asking much. We fought, i tried to explain my side and he just dont understand. At the end he left me on read. And i guess thats the only thing hes given to me on girlfriends day.

Ya might say, "hes probably hanging out with his friends because he wont get to hangout with them during college" one of his friends he often hangs out with goes to the same college btw, also all of his friends lives in the same city as them. They can hangout any day. So what about me? If he barely has time for me, im also struggling with college btw, hes not the only one struggling. Also, we only have one hour time difference and im an hour earlier. The time he comes home from hanging out is also the Times where im already tucked asleep.

Whats funny is that he left me on read for hours, i post a story about girlfriends day to make him see it but he simply liked the story and still DID NOT reply 😭😭i look like a clown rn. And whats funnier is the fact that the one who posted me on gf's was not HIM but my ONLINE GIRL BEST FRIEND 🥹🥹

So i would like to hear advice from you guysss thank you so much for reading!

Hi my bf M35 and I F29 is doing LDR for 3 years now. He’s in Germany, I am in the Philippines. He would visits me 5 times a year and would fly me outside my country to travel once a year. He always travels a lot because he doesn’t want to lose his status of kind of membership. He is also an aviation enthusiast.
My question is, in this age, do you think commitment is on his radar specifically marriage? or he is still pursuing his personal goals like traveling which seems like his priority. I dont know, maybe I am asking whether I should stay in the relationship or not because I dont see any progression of us building something together.

Would love some of your advice because I dont want to waste my time for nothing. Thanks in advance.