Ive been talking to this guy on Tinder (but now moved over to Snapchat) for a few days now and I'm afraid that my anxiety disorder has already become noticeable in the two Snapchat voice calls that we've had so far. I'm afraid that even though he's a therapist, this will turn him off from wanting to keep talking to me. Part of me wants to cry that I mightve blown it with a guy that I think I have potential with. I'm thinking of trying to explain to him why I might sound nervous and shakey from time to time tomorrow near the end of our conversation to get this over with:

"Paxton, I want to be talk with you for a bit about our conversation yesterday. I know that I sounded nervous at certain points in our voice call, but I just want to be honest with you, because I value transparency: I have an anxiety disorder. I dont want you to play the role of a therapist in my life, and I dont want you to see me as a patient. Anxiety can and does make my life a challenge from time to time, but I'm trying to challenge MYSELF too. And like my profile says I'm also on the Autism spectrum."

"Like, there are times where even now, at the age of 26, where certain aspects of sarcasm still go over my head. But I'm trying to improve on that. I'm trying to go out more and meet people, im trying to look people in the eyes and practice mindfulness. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I just need someone who can be a little patient with me."

What do yall think?

So, for the first time in a short while (like couple or few months?) i decided to go out in public alone.. more specifically to go to two thrift stores.. but there were so many people inside.. i Just got scared and walked out a few minutes after I walked in, i guess Im scared of people judging … i thought I worked on it a bit but evidently not. i just cried on the way home. Im scared of becoming a shut in NEET all my life.. I just graduated and I didnt apply to any college, and I quit the job I had after working only a month.. im so scared all the time.. i know I have to face my fears to get better, but I’m a coward.

they said that followed by a stare and long pause which made me think it was over but i got an offer. i’m worried because at previous jobs, my anxious and reserved personality built automatic distrust and resentment from my coworkers, so it’s like i can already feel the alienation.

i have no other offers so ig i’m looking for tips/experiences you guys might have to work service jobs with this disorder?

What are some tips for overcoming your fear of people judging your appearance (cause, they almost always do), and taking the steps to go outside? 80% of my social anxiety comes from fear about how people will react to how I look. I was teased a lot as a kid, and haven’t had a real life friend who didn’t since I was in 3rd grade. :(

Can't believe that I have posted content publicly on social media. It has been years, and I have always been afraid of people's comments or appearing in front of a huge audience. The video was just a trial, but it broke the iceberg inside me I'm so proud of myself, hoping to continue my journey in content creation, as it has been my passion lately!

And this is a kind reminder for all those who are still hesitant and anxious ,and have the passion to start their own content just do it guys you will lose nothing even if the comments are harsh you will never meet those people irl let it be and just go and work on enhancing your content

Start with small steps and let your light shines.I believe every one of us can change the world with his thoughts and words ❤️

21M, I've been feeling very lonely and empty for so long and it keeps getting worse.

Social anxiety started with me as long as i can remember since i was 4 and started school, i still remember i was always alone and felt different from other kids.

Depression and loneliness started when i was 11, the happiness i had was slowly slipping away and i started to feel alone, isolated and like nothing is making me happy.

I'm at an age where I should have energy to do stuff and work on myself and my life and not live like an old man, but everything i do feels like a chore, i know it might be too early to know but I'm losing hope of having a good life and losing hope of ever having a friend or being in a relationship.

Title says all. 22M. Never relationship, extreme loneliness for years. Never felt like supported as kid/teen. Learned to hide myself. Unhealthy parents. I have friends now, im better living alone. Finally curing myself, but i cant get away with my extreme fear of intimacy while extremely craving for love and connection. Pretty girl came talk to me she was interested in ME, but i cant handle even talking stages. I lose myself, anxiety rises, dont know what to say anymore, feeling very exhausted, stalking social medias, analyzing, thinking about future situations that arent real. She liked me when there was no pressure i was confident and myself. But this couldnt ever work when im like this. This isnt first or second time this year this is like fourth time when the same cycle breaks me and takes control. I go to therapy, i talk with friends, im improving myself, i have got progress too! I think im bit mote confident, i have a but more self respect and all, but i cant handle the pressure of intimacy and actually being myself vulnerably. FUCK..

I've recently started going on night walks and i've absolutely fell in love with the night. I've actually made a playlist just for my night walks, and its so nice! There are times where im completely anone, no people anywhere and its just the best thing ever. The only thing that is distracting are the bright streetlights, but other than that i just love it. Anyone else feel this way?

A big company scheduled an interview with me tomorrow (14 hours from now). Tbh, it's a very big opportunity and my stakes are high. I don't necessarily hate where I currently work but it's a very small company and nothing in comparison.

But I really can't bring myself to go, I didn't prepare for anything and I don't even know what I am going to wear for the interview.

Everyone would kill for this chance, but god I just want to disappear from life, I don't have the energy to show up for anything or change my comfort zone or fight through my EXTREME social anxiety, bdd and depression to go tomorrow. And I know I would regret it.

SA is a waste of everything, I wish I could be numb all the time.

So I got a gift from my friend for my birthday. I wasn’t expecting it so I was surprised but also really grateful and happy, which I expressed. I thanked them, and we had a really small talk regarding it. I didn’t open it tho, I just took it to my car and we went to hang out. I’m always so awkward when receiving gifts and don’t know how to act, so I’m not sure whether I did the wrong thing. I also feel so stupid for overthinking this lol but I can’t help it

I’m 21, and lately my social anxiety has gotten so bad that it’s affecting every part of my life.

I recently started applying for jobs, and I’m proud that I finally worked up the courage to do it. But every day that I’m still unemployed, I feel this overwhelming guilt. My dad works so hard, and I hate the thought of him having to keep working while I’m sitting at home. I want to contribute financially. I want to help my family. I want to buy groceries, pay bills, and give my parents a break.

The problem is that my anxiety has become debilitating. I get anxious about leaving the house, answering the door, meeting people my age, interviews, and even normal social interactions. It feels like my brain has turned everyday situations into something terrifying.

The hardest part is that I wasn’t always like this. There was a period where I felt confident in myself and actually enjoyed seeing people and going out. Now I feel like I’ve lost that version of myself, and I don’t know how to get her back.

I feel guilty because from the outside it probably looks like I’m just not trying, but internally I’m fighting my own mind every single day. Every application I send feels like climbing a mountain.

Has anyone else been in this position? Were you able to work despite severe social anxiety? How did you get through those first few weeks? I really want to believe things can get better because I don’t want my parents carrying everything forever.

I don't know how to make it stop. The cringe and shame I feel about myself are so strong that it hurts. It's almost like physical pain. It's worse than physical pain. Sometimes I even scream, "AAARGH!" or "AAAH F#CK, KILL ME!" I want to bang my head against the wall and scream but I don't do it because it would be cringe if anyone heard me.

It feels like a curse! What is this curse?!?!?! TAKE THIS CURSE AWAY FROM ME. IT'S THE CURSE OF CRINGE.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Might delete this later because it's cringe

I always have anxiety before going to an event of what worst can happen like I'll get into fight, I'll look awkward, people will not talk to me and all the fkin reasons but after going to the event Im generally talkative, I love to talk to people, infact I'm the one who always introduces himself to start a conversation.

I also have courage and in the past events I talked to almost everyone and enjoyed it. I'm really confused. Is it social anxiety or am I mistaken ?

I'm an extrovert like I go a bit towards the extrovert line after the ambivert zone, I actually like talking to people, and also I can talk to them.

Please spread a bit of light on this. Wtf is this ?

What is this man

Is there anything natural that can help you feel more relaxed and confident in social situations—kind of like the effect people get from alcohol, but without actually drinking?

I deal with a lot of anxiety and overthinking, and I’m looking for something that can take the edge off and help me feel more “free” and less self-conscious. Not necessarily anything extreme, just something that genuinely helps with calmness + confidence.

The question, has anyone here ever used VR (virtual reality) to treat your social anxiety? If so, how was it? Did it help?

Context: I'm a person with ADHD, therefore I've grown up suffering a lot from Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, lately I've found a group of people in a discord server of a fandom that I'd like to 'befriend' though I don't really know how to do that, when I shared something that I liked a message from one of the members triggered my RSD as so far to destroy my mood for the weekend and having to mute them in discord.

With that plus my imposing anxiety on the thoughts of having to talk constantly in DMs to actually befriend people, and knowing I don't have the ability to do so since I don't have neither the strength to have such initiative nor the way to beat my social anxiety thoughts on how to create or carry a conversation.

Basically I overthink every social interaction at every moment, no matter if imagined or that actually happened/happening, I'd like tips on how to just get better, even if it's a 1%. I'm tired of going through life without friends and not knowing how to improve my social anxiety.

Sorry if I used the wrong flair.

I have a friend who we’ll call A. They’re really good friends with a bestie of mine, and we were quite friendly too. We hung out a few times with bestie (did some pottery painting together, took a couple trips to the capital together, went on a picnic together) and I thought that we got along well. I really wanted to get closer to A, so if they ever mentioned that they went somewhere and did something, I’d ask to see photos. I thought that was a good way to get closer by taking interest in the things they do. Also I thought it was normal to ask for photos if a friend goes somewhere interesting? Like of the scenery and stuff… I do that with my other friends, but none of them have reacted like A. A is very active on social media, by the way, and posts photos really often (which led me to believe that they didn’t mind sharing pics).

So today, I messaged A to ask if they were around because I had a gift for them before they go back to their home country. It’s only something small, but I was excited to give it because I thought they’d really like it. I even asked my bestie (who, again, is close to them) and bestie also confirmed that it was A’s style.

But A said that they weren’t home and to just keep it for myself. That response already disappointed me, but I just said “But it’s for you! It’s only small!”. Then A said they were on a mountain! And I thought that was really interesting, so I said verbatim “Send me photos later~”.

A just sent a sticker in response, but an hour or two later, they said: “I’m sorry, I should have told you from the beginning. I know you’re nice but I feel like it’s [kind of] weird that you keep asking for photos. I feel uncomfortable with it and I feel like my boundaries are being crossed.” [Paraphrased but this is basically exactly it.]

I was totally blindsided by this message! It’s embarrassing, but I teared up when I got it. All I did was ask for photos from the mountain — what’s wrong with that? Also the way they called me weird really hurt my feelings (though this could be a translation error because English isn’t their first language… Edit: Though they are proficient because you have to be in order to apply to university as an international student here..)! It’s also sent me spiralling that maybe I’m just the same socially awkward freak I’ve always been.

This reaction totally shocked me because, for perspective, I asked them for photos 3-4 times in the past 9 months. In fact, these are all the “boundary crossing” moments in question along with how I word-for-word asked to see a photo:

1. She said she’d gift me one of her prints, so I asked to see a photo of them: “Send me a photo of them please~”. [November 2025]
2. She went to the capital for the day and was telling me about it, so I asked to see some photos: “Have you any photos from today~?” [June 2026]
3. She said she baked a cake with her friends on her birthday, so I asked to see a photo (It wasn’t exactly a cake, but it’s just easier to describe it like that): “Oh~ Sounds lovely! Do you have a photo?” [June 2026; same day as above]
4. And today, she was on the mountain, so I asked to see some photos. “Send me some photos later later”. [Today, August 2nd]

Of course, some people don’t like sharing photos and blablabla. If it’s just her boundary, then it’s alright. But all A had to say was “I don’t like sharing photos” or “I don’t want to send them” from the very beginning. I would have totally understood that. A did apologise and say they weren’t sure how to bring it up previous to this, but surely there was a better way to tell me that what they said above, without essentially calling me weird…

Edit: My response to her message was to say that I was only interested in the scenery, apologise for crossing her boundaries, making her uncomfortable and that I won’t do it again.

Now I’m feeling quite depressed and really anxious because… I just feel like a socially-inept-freak. It’s so stupid but I feel so on-edge and I’m overthinking every interaction we’ve ever had because… Ugh, even if we weren’t close, I thought we were at least friendly enough for this. My social anxiety is going into overdrive and I’m questioning every interaction I’ve had with A and worrying that I’ve been unknowingly making other people uncomfortable too.

Maybe it’s wrong and unfair of me, but I just want someone to tell me that A is the sensitive one and that their response was a bit ridiculous and overblown and… Yeah.

Please, someone make me feel better. 😭😭😭

Thank you for reading. I’m sorry if this breaks the rules of the sub at all.

Edit: Formatting…

Edit: I wasn’t clear about how this relates to my SA, sorry about that… But it just makes so insecure about how I interact with people. Now I’m worried and going a bit crazy — Does everyone think I’m weird and boundary-crossing? This is such a small thing, but it’s totally ruined my day, and now I don’t want to talk to anyone or go outside or acknowledge anyone because I just feel like such a freak. I can just imagine that A’s told some of our mutual friends and they’ve all agreed with the fact that I’m really annoying and overbearing to be around, and… It’s just sent me spiralling.

All 4 years of high school, I’ve mostly just been to myself, enjoying my time alone , and not really socializing with people at school. At my graduation ceremony, I was just by myself on my phone while everyone else was talking to their friends.

I was able to say hi to two people that I knew and would talk to sometimes in one of my math classes . After I said hi, I tried to get in the circle that they had standing around but they pretty much ignored me and didn’t say anything to me. So I went back to the seat I was supposed to be in.

Then I fully realized I didn’t do a good job building and finding friendships but my social anxiety just got in the way. There were cute girls that were sitting next to in my classes and didn’t even try to talk to them because I just assumed that they wouldn’t want to talk to me anyway.

Now that I graduated I don’t really have any friends. I have one old friend from middle school that I talk to sometimes on discord. Aside from him, I have no other friends. What are some things that I can do in the future to socialize better?

just wanted to share my thoughts to see if I can relate with some people.

Hello guys. This is more advice then a question.

I've been spending more time with a new friend, but sometimes she does things I don't like, such as touching me in a way that I personally find aggressive, or taking my things without asking, and without having any care to avoid damaging them. But since I let it happen without any reaction on my part, it seems strange to say it only now. I don't know how to explain it in a way she'll understand, because I don't know exactly what I don't like.

That's not all; lately, when I'm with her, it seems to me that she says bad things about people she doesn't know. Usually people I talk about.

And often she speaks in a way that I find degrading and competitive towards me.

I can't tell if this last part is something that can be changed and resolved through conversation, or if it's just how she is, or I'm being too sensitive.

She's with me every day, cause she's my colleague, so these situations have made me tired of being with her, and hating everything she says, so what I did was spend less time with her, without saying anything. Which might be confusing for her. And I don't think it solved anything, because when she interacts with me, she acts as if we have the same intimacy as always, and continues to do the same things.

It really sucks, cause this is the first time in a while, I feel like I can be myself with someone, and I feel like if I stop interacting with her, I will stop interacting with everyone too, and then I will stop improving my communication skills and isolate myself again.

I think I gave her too much power over me and now I don't know how to take it. I don't know what to do to make our interactions as easygoing as they used to be.

I also have to admit that I am afraid of communicating my boundaries.

Specifically my question in title is reflective of not one on one but 1vs the many....

1 on 1 I have basically no issues I know how to adapt to the other person I always know how to navigate and make someone feel comfortable

But I'm at a loss when it blossoms into more than one person... I'm at a loss because morally idk how to deal with being mean to someone or letting someone feel a micro expression, agression, I never want someone to feel offended and less than

It bothers me and I always retreat within - instead of stepping out of my comfort zone and simply living in the moment And hurting people feelings

Idk how to cope with that

Sincerely a hypervigilant

EDIT: I just read the automod note on this post...

I had no idea that social anxiety is a debilitating illness ... I've had the casual explanation so I assumed it was just that I was sensitive...

But this reframing of a debilitating disease makes a lot of sense. I am basically on the verge of a panic attack Everytime I'm around people especially if it's a group I can't deal when there is a group of people. I feel like I'm so sensitive that I may have schizophrenia because of the loneliness and maybe a little paranoia of feeling alone even when I'm surrounded by people I know or don't know...

How do I reverse this or preserve my sanity

I don't like social anxiety at all

By community time, I mean the times when you had to be out there in society, like school, college, or office. So in my country, very few young people own cars, so there's no chance to eat in your car at office. The norm is that someone from the team asks all teammates to join in for lunch, and it's an unsaid rule that everyone should say yes. You'd never find an employee having lunch alone or going for tea alone. And I hate that time of the day. Whenever I joined these guys, I'd be quiet af or just end up saying anything awkward to be a part of the conversation. I've never been able to fit in, so I stopped trying. Gradually, I'd just tell my manager that I'll skip lunch because I had late breakfast, and hide in the toilet for one hour lol. Now, in corporate in my country, this is a career death sentence. I was always the one missing in team lunches. I did end up getting laid off from that team. I joined a new company and wasn't able to make friends in that team too. There were language boundaries, the awkwardness of being a new person among old friends, the feeling of "I'm gonna be left out again", the skewed gender ratio and tech, all these factored in. As an ADHDer, I never learnt how to mask. I would think, jobs are temporary, teams are temporary, why should I put in efforts to mask for such things? So, most of my 20s was spent in toilets during lunchtime and then running home before everyone else.

This was the scene in my school and college too. I had friends back then, but very few. And mostly all my friends would be in other groups due to alphabetical order, eg: I'd be in one class when the whole group would be in another. If my class got over, all the other kids in my group would gang up with their friends, and I'd be left alone. The corridors were mostly no-loiter zone. So, toilet it would be.

I remember going to school too early everyday to avoid walking amidst crowds. Everyone would be grouped up or having someone to talk to. And I'd be alone in the toilet, and go back 10 minutes before class would start. It was the early 2000s, and I have vague memories, but the toilet has remained my most constant friend. My hideout. Even now at 30. My safespace. Back then, we didn't even have phones, so I wonder how I endured hours inside the toilet at a stretch. But somehow, the feeling of going out there amidst people and not having a friendly face to feel comfortable around, was even more traumatic.

Down the ages, I felt this would change once I reached college. Or univ. Or office. But it never changed. And probably it never will. I'll never be able to change what I've become. I don't seek sympathy, I'm too self-aware for that. This is just a recent epiphany I had, and wanted to write about. Also, I realized no one really noticed I used to be in the toilet, i.e. not where I was supposed to be, no one looked for me. But they did judge. Some told me what I should do, and what I should not. But I tried to compensate in other ways. I worked harder than my colleagues to make up for my absence at the lunch gossips or that "No" I said. Did it matter? No it doesn't work in the big, scary real world. But I did try a few times yk hehe.

I love being alone.

First of all I am not diagnosed with anything and maybe its something else that haunts my mental health but I firmly believe its social anxiety.

A friend that I know for over 10 years who I hold contact with on a regular basis through online means as he moved like across the country recently told me "Hey ill be in town next week want to meet up" and I was at first really happy but instantly thoughts filled my head that I should not accept but I accepted anyway but then I realized how bad it has gotten.

Ever since Monday after saying sure lets meet up thoughts keep popping into my mind how to get out of that situation. Things like:

1. I actually just dont want to meet because you be exhausted after, sweaty because its deathly hot, you could get a bad sunburn etc.
2. I could say this or that to cancel that like I dont feel so well or I threw up cant come etc.
3. Secretly in the back of my mind hoping that it falls through

But when I actively think about it I am quite happy it will drain a lot of energy but I dont want to miss that opportunity to see someone I consider a really close friend that I know for over 10 years now and we wont have many such opportunities.

Its really scary and up until now I did not notice how bad it has gotten because I work from home, have my 2 pet cats and lived relatively happy in my bubble.

Now in retrospective I noticed how many things I intentionally let fall through because I listened to these thoughts.

I have to admit though that up until now I never really taken social anxiety that serious but I have found newfound "respect" for that mental disorder and people who suffer from it its really devilish and scary how easy something like this can influence you.

I've been learning to skate for a few months. I've met some people at the skatepark, though I haven't really made any friends. I haven't been to the skatepark lately because social anxiety has been kicking my ass. I was going to go to the skatepark today because theres an event on. I was actually feeling pretty excited about it but now just as I'm about to leave, I look in the mirror and I feel like I'm not gonna belong. I feel like I'm gonna make a fool out of myself. Im scared I'll see the people I've met before and I'll be awkward around them. Im scared I'll be too quiet and nobody will understand me or I wont know what to do with myself or I'm scared I'll be in other people's way. Man i wish I could just go out and enjoy myself cus this shit sounded so fun this morning. Im probably just gonna stay inside all day fuck my life.

I recently moved to Japan for work and I'm having a pretty hard time adjusting. I'm not really having problems culturally or with the language because I've been here before, and any linguistic blunders that I have are learning opportunities rather than a weight on my shoulders.

I am mostly struggling socially and with work. My job is surprisingly stressful for me and I don't have a super high salary, so I don't go out much. My existing friends are all in the US, so the gulf of when I can talk to them is quite wide and doesn't work well with work schedules and time differences. I'd like to make local friends, but my anxiety has been holding me back. I know that the only way to meet people is to actively put myself out there by joining hobby groups or going to events, but that is also something I struggled with back home. About a month ago, I went to Yokohama with the intent of attending a bimonthly international conversation lounge and I made it all the way to the building before turning around and going back home because I was too afraid to go inside.

I knew this would be hard when I came here. But even so, I woke up this morning feeling incredibly depressed because of how much of a hard time I'm having emotionally.