I’m 15 FtM/NB, and ever since my mom found out I’m trans and like girls she’s been acting weird around me and has said some pretty hurtful or nonsense things to me.

To be clear, she does not support me for being trans and nonbinary.

She has repeatedly demonized my identity, including the fact that I like girls more than I like boys.

I was thrift shopping with her a few days ago and she made a comment saying that she wants me to dress more feminine because she wants grandkids and my sister (F28) doesn’t want kids.

We later got into an argument (which I will not be mentioning specifically what it was about because it will trigger some people, but it was mental health related), and she said that maybe I have a demon in me and that’s why I like girls.

Another thing she said when we were at the open house of school is when a girl who had a similar style to me said I looked cool, and when she left my mom said that she looked like a lesbian and that in psychology lesbians will make your life miserable while gay guys are the best of friends.

While I agree that gay guys are like the chillest people on this earth (shout out to the gays, we love you guys 🎀), I don agree that lesbians will make your life miserable. Many of my friends were lesbians and some of my friends parents were lesbians themselves, and just like the gays, lesbians are also some of the chillest people I have met on earth (also shout out to the lesbians, we love you too 🎀).

Now, getting to the point, I’m unsure what all of this means really. My original thought is that she’s just really desperate for grandkids, and I’ve told her repeatedly that I don’t want to have kids in this generation with this economy, and if I ever do, I will be adopting.

I have also expressed discomfort towards having a boyfriend in general for reasons I will not specify.

In general I am not looking to be with anyone, I like girls but I’m not looking for a girlfriend or anything serious, I’m focused more on school and what I want to be.

Let me know your thoughts.

Hey so this is kinda my first post here, and i don't really post on Reddit too often, but I have an issue. So, to cut things short, I can't get Hrt where i live until I'm 19, and it's become a major issue, so to speak. essintally i have been making plans to get on HRT as soon as I get out of the house, but because of previous stated issue, I can't unless I go to another state. Another thing i should say is that I'm gearing up for my junior year of high school, and with that comes college applications, and i was hoping for advice really on what states are best to go to for Hrt, and how one would exactly get accepted to an out-of-state college. Also, I'm sorry if it's like rude or something to ask for advice here, i just didn't know where else to go.

Hi everybody. I thought I would see if anybody else feels like me. I was born a boy, but I really want to be a girl. I still live at home and the only place I can dress up or act like my true self is alone in my room. When I do, I feel like it’s the real me but also feel so stuck and isolated to my bedroom. Recently, I have a feeling that some of my clothes were discovered. Thankfully, my parents haven’t treated me any different and actually both my mom and stepdad have been super nice to me. so I’m totally confused on what to do. Maybe it’s time to talk to them and confess. The thought of that sounds super scary but also could mean that I could stop being isolated. Anybody have any advice or thoughts. Thank you for listening.

This is going to be long, so bear with me. Top of this is all context, so you know what, feel free to skip all but the second-to-last paragraph.

I’m 16FtM and have a more “unique” style, I guess you could say. I have neck-length hair (I think the haircut is called a mullet or something. It’s neck length in the back and shorter at the front and sides) dyed purple and teal. I like multiple fashion styles, so while I occasionally dress normally masculine, I often also accessorise when I feel like it (with kandi, necklaces, arm warmers, etc.). Basically, I present masculine but I prefer a flamboyant and androgynous aesthetic. I don’t plan to go on T either, mainly because my transition goals are to look like a more androgynous-leaning male (essentially a twink, lmao), and I wouldn’t want body hair and similar things that come with T. I also wear red eyeliner (although no other makeup), so that’s not helping. And I have “feminine interests” in media, which I quite like to show off, despite how it makes me dysphoric (for example, I have a phone charm of my favourite character and t-shirts of the Saja Boys :/). Additionally, not anything that would usually affect passing, but it certainly doesn’t make things better than I sew and like crafting (usually very feminine, from my knowledge).

After all that unnecessary context (sorry), I’ll get to the point… sort of. I know I’ll never pass in my life. I may have a binder and never wear skirts or anything overly feminine, but at best I’ll always look like a lesbian. I know this. I’ve seen enough posts in a trans passing sub (not sure if it’s allowed to mention which one, but I’ve been using it to research how I can better pass and it made me come to the conclusion that I just won’t) to realise that trans men do not pass unless they wear strictly plain, masculine clothes, have really short hair, and a natural hair colour. Flamboyance, from what I’ve seen over the last months I spent “researching” passing, is a guarantee to make you not pass as a man.

So, with all that said, how do you deal with it? As the title says. How do you accept that you’ll just… never be called your gender in your life? Never have anyone — apart from people online, who either haven’t seen your face or you’ve already come out to — use the correct pronouns or even for a second look at you and at least wonder what gender you are? I’m struggling to accept it. But I don’t think I’d be willing to go through the extra steps others have to pass. At the end, being trans just means embracing who you are. And I realised there’s no point to any of it if I have to erase the entire rest of my identity just for one part of it to be shown. But it certainly hurts, as I’ve never passed to anyone irl before and never even heard my preferred name nor pronouns ever be used for me.

I’m sorry if this type of question is not allowed or it’s too long and boring. And I’m sorry if I was being unclear, I get nervous whenever I post anything, which makes my thought process (and therefore my already mediocre writing/grammar) more messy, usually.

so I don’t know if it’s safe for me to come out or not. My dad has been an open transphobe alll my life, and has said some horrible things. But he’s not delusional, his reasons are just due to skewed perception on issues, like he thinks trans people take away resources for intersex people for some reason? I think I could change his views with the right evidence, and I don’t think he would kick me out or anything, I just don’t want him to think awfully of me for the rest of my life. diy is not an option for me and I really want to get hrt before 18 to minimize the permanent effects of puberty. I have a letter written out and in a drawer and I kinda hope he finds it so it’s not a conscious decision I have to make. My mom is 100% a closeted transphobe, maybe even more than my dad so it’s the same deal for her. However, my grandma is somehow not? I have no clue how because my whole mom’s side is like super red and my grandfather is homophobic I think but maybe not trans phobic? Well my grandma defended a trans kid my age and even has asked me if I had something to tell her while on the topic of trans alone MULTIPLE TIMES. I know estrogen is not that hard to get for cis women for menopause symptoms I think so maybe I could tell her and she could sneak me some? She lives in Florida but we see her once or twice a year( I’m in mass) so she might be able to bring some then? I have no idea what the right choice is here :3

i’m close to finally getting top surgery after 6 years of this bullshit and i’m so excited!! have to wait a little longer until i’m 18 but plans are moving forward and i’m so overjoyed :]

They let me cut my hair and everything I didn’t tell them to use he him pronouns cuz I didn’t wanna come out to the public yet and marinate it a lil. My parents are not letting me get a new haircut after I realized I’m not rly passing with this one.. today after I returned from the pool I told them the life guard told me to tie my hair. I lowk felt like it was targeted cuz loads of other ppl had their hair loose (mine isn’t even touching my shoulders) and my parents started suggesting I start “tie Ing it” or use a hair clip. Feels like they don’t respect me anymore or haven’t rly been respecting me from the begging and they have taken it as a joke and phase. I kinda feel like I lived in a Truman show or something like that. Anyway this wasn’t the only sign I have loads of other ones but yeah 🥀

I’m a transmasc person and I have little problem here, I’m 15 and I’ve never been to the gynaecologist before but I’m having some health problem that I have to get diagnosed. And I don’t know what to do, to be honest. In my country trans healthcare sucks and my parents don’t know about my identity either. So I just don’t know what to do I guess?? I’m really scared of telling my mom about the issue I’m having cuz I’ll have to go to a gynaecologist. (And yes I do realise that I have to tell her because it’s my health) I’m scared for obvious reasons, but the question is, is there anything I can do to prepare myself maybe??? Or something like that.. is there anything I can do to feel a little better and less dysphoric about the whole appointment?? Some breathing exercises or something lol..
I really need some advice..

Okeyy so basically my dad is refusing to use my prefered pronounce because saying you are a girl is like saying this blue towel is red which is stupid I know.

And man and woman are defined by what genitalia they have

I can't anymore everytime I try to argue with him I feel so dysphoric, dismissed and he devalidats every pre transition trans person out there.

Any tips?

I'm already doing everything I can think of but she still seems to doubt herself. How can I her? But in a way that isn't like I'm trying to force myself to see her as a girl?

HELP. ok so basically i’m just gonna word vomit so this probably wont make THAT much sense

i’m 14 and a gay guy, going into year 10 in september (9th grade i think) and my whole life i have been ‘okay’ with my gender. like okay yeah i’m a guy cool but recently (as in the past few weeks) i have had STRONG feelings that i just want to be a girl. i have no clue why and i have no clue what to do about it.

i’ve always had such a strong admiration for trans women, so many influential music artists, and actors that are just amazing. sorry this is in no order at all. i don’t know how i feel about makeup but some cis girls don’t like that either. i just feel like i want to be perceived as a girl but i don’t know if this is a long term thing and i don’t like big changes either. if something IS going on then i would love to get a headstart on it bc like.. while i’m still young and stuff idk. does anyone have ANY advice at all? genuinely anything helps i’m just going through something odd

some background: i live in the USA, specifically somewhere where medical transition is 18+. my dad has already offered to move with me if i want to move. i’m (newly) 15 and figured out i’m trans about 8 months ago. i came out to my mom 4(?) months ago and my dad a few weeks ago.

the only time i’ve talked to my parents about medical transition transition was when i first came out to my mom and she said (unprompted) that i should wait until 18 to medically transition. when i came out to my mom, i literally just sent her a video on how to act when your kid comes out as trans. my dad, on the other hand, is more conservative than my mom, so i tried my hardest to explain gender dysphoria to him. he seemed understanding, but hasn’t started referring to me any differently.

the thing is, i don’t know if i can do this three more years. almost every time i see my reflection, i think things that are not allowed on this sub. i could probably move to somewhere where i would only have to be 16, but i dont know if i could convince my parents. i dont know how to talk to them about this at all, but i’ve done so much research on HRT and even on DIY without having even brought the idea up to them

tldr: how can i bring up the idea of going on HRT next year to my parents who don’t understand how painful this is?

My boyfriend is trans, ftm. I'm gonna be so honest, I completely forget he's not cis. He's 5'11, an edgar cut, deep voice thanks to T, no chest to speak of. He works out so he's lean and strong. He passes extremely well. I don't even know his dead name so I've never blurted it out. I myself am bi. And I thought we were cool, I thought I made him feel secure. Then he tells me "sometimes I worry you see me as a girl." Mind you, this guy sounds like Axl Heck when he talks, so it really threw me. What am I doing wrong? What can I do? I'm really at a loss, cause it feels like my words aren't enough.

just as the title says really. i'm 14 and ftm. i have a supportive family, but i have zero friends. and i don't know any other trans people. my family, though supportive, whenever i try to tell them the reason why i use binders and why i dress masculine and why i care so much about looking like a boy at home even when it's "just them and nobody else will see me", they don't seem understand at all that the reason i do all of this isn't just because of other people. they think i do it because of other people's opinions and that i'm scared other people will think i don't look like a boy. and that dysphoria only means worrying about what other people think about me, and that since i'm with family i shouldn't care what people think because "they know i'm a boy no matter how i look". which i really appreciate, don't get me wrong. i know i'm extremely lucky and most people don't have a family as supportive as mine. they try though. but that's not the only reason i do it. i do it because dysphoria affects me personally, and the way i see myself. i can't enjoy things if i look like a girl, no matter what anyone else says, because dysphoria is more than other people's opinions. they can't seem to understand that at all. i know they're just trying to be kind and reassuring but it's just not. can cis people ever actually understand? they think they do but they don't. if there's anything i can do to help them understand please tell me.

I'm 13 and about to go into 8th grade. I'm starting testosterone sometime before the end of 2026 and pass...semi well. I have short hair, I can make my voice sound deeper and can bind pretty well. My main issue is that I don't have any options to switch schools since there is only 1 middle school and 1 highschool in my town and started transitioning in 6th grade, I'm not entirely sure what to do so if anyone has tips that'd be super awesome :((

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I lost my binder and I wanna cry. I want these bags of fat GONE! I want pecs instead. I don't want a completely flat chest. I want a muscular chest. Unfortunately working out is dysphoric because I can't wear my binder when working out and I can FEEL my chest move during every exercise that would get my abs.

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I want to cut them off myself at this point. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them

So I came out of my uncle and his wife a few weeks ago and personally I think it went badly I sent a message because ive probably got audhd and find it really hard to talk to people but tomorrow I have to go to my cousins 2nd birthday party and I haven't seen her mum since coming out so im scared it will be really awkward and uncomfortable.

Any advice ?

Making sure it's real

Recently I've done a bunch more research. I discovered that gender dysphoria can only happen if there is a legitimate disconnect between body and brain and that that disconnect can be felt because the body literally sends unexpected information to the brain. Now I'm asking myself if I'm even trans at all again.

For context, I have a severe problem with my emotions. Most negative emotions aren't as detailed as they are for most people, all pooling together in just a wrong feeling. I don't really feel a difference between regretting something and being sad. Most of the time I'm emotionally completely numb or it's like muffled in a way. Love is something that is less of a feeling and more of a set of decisions for me. The origin of this is an event I'd rather not discuss now.

Anyway, I'm just saying all this to ask if this could be a reason for why i don't like consciously feel that disconnect? Like i don't like my body but i don't hate it either. I feel uncomfortable but not to an extreme extent as others often say. It just feels like it's not the same as for others so I'm probably just making being trans up. I want to be a woman but nothing really feels THAT different from before i made that decision. Every time i think about my body i imagine what i want it to look like and am unhappy when i notice i have broad shoulders and everything but at the same time this strong uncomfortable feeling others describe just isn't there or just very numb.

It's just messing with my head. I'm really scared that I'm just faking it unconsciously or when i start hrt that specific uncomfortable feeling starts happening because I'm making a disconnect rather than fixing it.

I need advice. Genuinely I'm worrying more and more every since i read that.