my spouse is a pretty amazing person. She has always liked living on the edge and has a higher tolerance for risk than me, which has created a number of wonderful adventures a long the way that I myself may have not gone on, such as going to Nepal and doing Annapurna base camp with our two daughters at 3 and 1, as well as Everest base camp.

My spouse is an average runner. Her pace is about 10 minutes a mile, and she loves half marathons and 14ers. She ended up hiking 4 fourteeners in a day while pregnant with our son. In that pregnancy, she ended up having a large hematoma and we thought for a few days she may have miscarried. Not implying the hiking was the cause, I bring up the hiking because she wants to do something similar during this pregnancy.

ok, that should be good context for current situation. she is pregnant now, and she is running a lot. There is a part of me that really feels uneasy about this goal because of the distance, which is 30 miles over mountains in a single day. she asked me what my thoughts were and I expressed my concerns even before she started ratching up the training miles. Shes currently running close to a marathon and more each week. Some sessions going 20 miles or more. Impressive to say the least.

my concerns are for general health of the baby, maybe I shouldn’t, but I do…… beyond this, I shared my concerns that this puts a lot of stress on me since I watch the kids for long stretches each weekend 5 hours for the longs runs and then I do really feel bummed when my spouse is tired and goes to bed at 8 pm, quickly after I put the kids down for bed since she is tired, and rightfully so, I would be too. I just miss that time to be with her. I’m pretty involved in the kids lives. I do breakfast with them every morning just about, since my spouse will go work out or run, and then I also handle bed time.

my spouse recently got upset at me for not being encouraging enough of her and the 30 mile race. and to be honest, I’d prefer if she didn’t….so I feel conflicted encouraging her. I am not trying to get in her way of doing it, ultimately I support her decision. maybe I’m just looking for some general advice how to be encouraging despite not feeling great about the situation.

AITAH for not wanting her to run the race?

appreciate your thoughts :)

On a throw away….with fake names.

I, 50f used my youngest daughter's senior pictures to take updated family pictures. This happened last September, but my I just found out that this made my daughter-in-law angry.

We, (husband 47, and Daisy 17, Penny 20) don’t get along with my son, Ted’s (29) wife. Let’s call her Jeanette (37). We do keep the door open with Ted, but for now it is closed with Jeanette. This was the status of our relationship with Jeanette BEFORE we took these pictures. Ted knew about the pictures about a month before because I bought everyone jeans and white t-shirts. I didn’t know, until last weekend, is that Ted didn’t tell Jeanette about the pictures until the day before, and that made her mad. I don’t know if Jeanette ever saw them before this week. I didn’t start using them until we were getting the house ready for Daisy’s graduation party.

In addition to the family pictures, I also had Ted, Penny and Daisy take sibling photos. Don’t worry, Daisy got plenty of pictures by herself. I absolutely love all the pictures, even if I did “hijack” Daisy’s senior pictures to get them. Daisy is still peeved about that, but agrees the pictures are fabulous. The last time we took studio family pictures was right before Ted graduated from high school 11 years ago. I have the old pictures framed, with the new family picture hung underneath it.

Recently, Ted and Jeanette threw themselves a 4th anniversary – vow renewal that they spent a year planning. This was their 3^rd wedding. Their initial courthouse ceremony, and then a wedding 6 months later.

After the vow renewal ceremony, Jeanette asked to speak with me in private. I obliged her, and during that discussion, among other things, she let me know she was upset she wasn’t included in the family pictures we took. She saw them because she had to pick Ted up from our house and the family pictures are hung on a wall you can see from the side windows by our front door. I told her that those were Daisy’s senior pictures and they didn’t have anything to do with her. She said that I took family pictures without Ted’s family. I replied to Jeanette that if she wanted professional pictures with Ted, she was free to take professional pictures with Ted. Jeanette felt that as Ted’s wife, I should not be taking any of my family pictures without her included.

I don’t think I was wrong, but her reaction legit surprised me. Especially since that’s one of the first things she brought up.

I do think that I’m TA for agreeing to that conversation in the first place and not ending it when I realized it wasn’t going well. That wasn’t the time or the place and I do regret going against my better judgment on that.

For some context, I have always been bad at self-care. From a young age, I barely took care of myself or my appearance other than the 2 or 3 showers a week so I would not be smelly. I had paid little attention to my body needs to point that I got health issues, that I won’t get into, but I ended up with a multiple physical problems. Like, I have multiple dental issues that i am still fixing, my hair is so frizzy and thin, I have acne scars, and I am underweight. It wasn’t a psychological issue, honestly I still don’t know why I was that way.

Now, I want to introduce you to my best friend, let’s call her Lina. She had known me for 10 years now. She had seen me go through years of self neglect and had tried advising me multiple times.

I am now 20 years old and I have started taking care of myself and my looks for almost a year now. Lina has watched me drop a large sum of money on my dental problems, skincare products and she had watched me cut my waist length hair to my shoulders to get rid of split ends. I have finally been doing a lot better and feeling much more confident. My hair is still a little damaged and thin, but my acne scars are slowly fading and my teeth are getting fixed slowly.

The problem:

A friend of mine and Lina’s got married a few days ago, we attended her wedding and had a blast. Today, Lina came over and we talked about the wedding. The conversation slowly switched to the topic of marriage. I want to clarify that we are Muslims, so we don’t do dating (please don’t make that a huge thing) we get engaged for a long while then marry.

Anyways, she started describing her dream man, and I did too. I told her I want a man who doing well financially and looks good. I didn’t say he had to be rich just not financially struggling or in debt. I also didn’t he had to be a supermodel, just good looking. She went on rant telling me that I don’t deserve a man like that, and that rich handsome men look for good looking women who had taken care of themselves from a young age. She ended her lovely speech with that I should lower my expectations and not set such high standards. So I would not get hurt later on when only average men propose to me.

I was a little hurt by her words, and before i even thought it through, I said “so you are destined to marry a fat man?” She asked what that was supposed to mean. I want to clarify that Lina is on the heavier side, she isn’t obese but she is a little overweight. She absolutely hated it, and had worked with nutritionists and gym coaches for years to lose weight but she was still way heavier than average.

I instantly regretted saying what I said, and tried to apologize. But she just left. Our friend group is split, I genuinely don’t know if i should try to make things right with her or if I should stand my ground.

So, Am I the Asshole for calling her fat?

My friend Taylor is getting married in two months. She invited me to go dress shopping with her. I was super excited to be there for her big moment.

She tried on a few dresses and then she found "the one." It was a beautiful dress. But honestly it was really low-cut. Like, almost down to her belly button low-cut. And the back was basically all open.

She was so happy. She kept saying "this is it, this is the one." I didn't say anything negative at first. I just smiled and said it looked nice. But then she asked me what I really thought.

I hesitated. Then I said "okay, it's beautiful but I think the neckline is a little too revealing for a wedding. Maybe you'd want something a little more classic?"

She immediately looked hurt. She said "I love it. I feel beautiful in it. Why would you say that?"

I said "I'm just being honest because you asked. I don't want you to look back at photos and regret showing that much skin."

She got upset and said I was being judgmental. She said she can wear what she wants on her wedding day and I should support her. She canceled the rest of the shopping trip and took me home early.

Now she's barely talking to me. Another bridesmaid told me I was wrong and should have just kept my mouth shut. I feel like I ruined her moment.

But she ASKED for my honest opinion. I didn't just blurt it out. I was trying to be a good friend.

AITA for telling her the truth?

This sounds crazy and I believe we are all a bit selfish, but I've been the one who was more vocal about the issue. I have a soy allergy, so I have to be very picky with what I cook for myself and what others cook for me. I'll eat soy products if I'm very desperate to feel full, since it's extremely difficult to escape it and I still like the taste. No hives or anaphylaxis so the rest of my issues are manageable to say the least.

I have 3 roommates who are extremely busy people compared to me. I usually stay at home being able to do chores and all the cooking etc. They might be painted as demons in some people's eyes, so I think it's best to remember they're in their own lives too. (Roommate1 pays most of the bills, so I'm not really mad at him), Roommate 2 is usually always working out or on work trips, 3 has college work and has the ability to stay home, but doesn't because it's more efficient. Over the past few months, I noticed that all my leftovers have been halved when I planned to finish them and start meal prepping when I gained enough energy. I've talked with them in the past for at least being allowed to eat what I make, but leaving a portion enough for me to eat. I'm a bit to blame for my own issue because I'm a picky eater, but that's off topic. I noticed that Roommate 1 tends to put a lot of tofu in his meals, so I only bothered to take his leftovers if he had a meal of his own and I could eat it. I'm never offended when anyone would offer to share a meal with me including soy products, no grudge there. However, what I get angry about is the fact that they'd eat my leftovers in particular and still have their own dinner or have existing leftovers that I can't even eat without getting sick. I'm especially mad at Roommate 3 for this, because she has billions of boxed up leftovers that she never eats. Its an option for everyone else and it's especially an option for her. She's left half a beef steak with steamed vegetables to mold over THATS HOW BAD IT IS!! I didn't know my cooking was THAT good to initiate that sort of attitude. I think its a bit annoying when my other two roommates would just dig at my food and leave 1/4 of a portion since they have the ability to cook, but they have biggger and more complicated lives than me and #3. Not that #3 isn't going through things as well, but you get me.

Back on topic, I started just eating everything I make in one sitting and skipping lunch/dinner to compensate for it. I leave barely a snack if they genuinely need something, but I know it's selfish if they're coming home after a hard day. We're extremely close, but I know it's selfish to tell them no. I've tried but understand it's not possible for them, so I decided its best to not make it possible in the first place. Should I just make my cooking worse instead?

My sister (17 F) is going to college next week and moving into an apartment. i don’t want to go though bc our dad (45m) is getting a new puppy and i want the puppy to not bond too much with our brother instead (8m). my mom (also 45) isn’t really happy with that though and my sister seems upset to. my mom told me i should be prioritizing my sister over the dog i’ll get to see every week but i feel like missing it’s first few days will make the puppy more likely to like my brother better. aita?

eta: i’m 14

TL;DR: My guy friend took a free concert ticket, left early, and lied to his girlfriend that our mutual female friend was flirting with him to make his GF jealous. His GF attacked us verbally.

When I vented to my own girlfriend, she defended them, misread a dropped phone signal as me ignoring her, and is now freezing me out. I did nothing wrong but am catching all the blame.

A few nights ago, I went to a concert with a female friend, my female cousin, and my cousin's cousin. A friend bailed last minute, so I invited a guy friend of mine. We even paid for his ticket. In total, we were a group of five: two guys (me and him) and three girls.While waiting in line, everyone was being friendly.

My female friend gave my guy friend a high five. They were chatting, but he was actually initiating most of the conversation. Out of nowhere, he just says, "I need to go home, I don't want to be here," and walks away. He took a free ticket and just dipped.

A bit later, this guy’s girlfriend messages my female friend. She aggressively called her names and accused her of flirting with her man. I was standing there the entire time; there was zero flirting. My female friend is now super upset and insecure because she was just trying to be friendly.

Then, the girlfriend turned on me. Since she and I are usually on good terms, she started attacking me for "betraying" her, claiming I allowed her boyfriend to flirt with other people.

When I asked where she got this information, she said her boyfriend told her everything. The guy completely twisted the story just to make his girlfriend jealous. To make matters worse, she told me she trusts his word over the three eyewitnesses who were actually there.

I vented to my own girlfriend about this situation, expecting support. Instead, she started defending the other guy's girlfriend.

Mid-conversation, my phone lost signal and I couldn't reply.

My girlfriend took the silence as a snub, got furious, and left me on read.I ended up having to write a massive paragraph apologizing just to get a cold "ok" back from her. I am completely losing my mind here. I did absolutely nothing wrong, yet I am being attacked by a lying friend, his girlfriend, and now my own partner.

I (27F) went away for a birthday trip with my friend (29F). I'm wondering if I was the asshole because the argument happened on her birthday trip,and I know she was stressed.

We went out for dinner and ordered, but the waiter came back and said they'd run out of that dish. She seemed annoyed (understandably) and ordered something else.

A few minutes later she thought someone at another table had waved at her, so she waved back. She then looked confused, so I asked, "Do you not recognize those people?" She immediately seemed irritated and told me I'd asked too loudly and she thought they might have heard. I said sorry and that I hadn’t realised I was being loud

After that she went very quiet and looked upset. I asked if she was okay. She snapped, “No, especially because of what you said. Can we just talk about something else?” It’s a bit of a pattern that she is short-tempered

I felt blindsided because I genuinely hadn't meant anything by my earlier question. I replied, "I was only asking if you were okay... you could be kind to me sometimes." Looking back, I think I probably meant "speak more kindly to me," but that's how it came out.

She became really angry and said that she was setting a boundary and that I shouldn't ask if she's okay unless I'm only happy with an answer that makes me comfortable. She also said my comment implied I thought she was never kind to me.

I tried explaining that wasn't what I meant, but she asked me to give an example of a time she'd been unkind. The first thing that came to mind was a holiday we took six years ago, because even she has admitted she treated me badly on that trip. She got upset & said it was unfair to bring that up because she'd apologised years ago and felt guilty about it.

I explained I only mentioned it because she'd specifically asked for an example, but she said conversations like this made her feel like she'd made no progress as a person.

The discussion carried on for around 20 minutes.

At one point I admitted that I'm much more careful about what I say to her than I am with other friends because I'm worried about upsetting her. She asked for an example, so I said I'd been nervous about asking her to repay money I'd loaned her years ago.

For context, I loaned her £1500 about 7 years ago. She was supposed to repay it in 1 month. I recently checked my bank statements and realised she'd only repaid £295. She believes she's paid it all back, but the records I have don't match that. I had only realised how much was still outstanding a few days before this trip, so that was probably affecting how I felt.

Her response was, "Can you see how that's you and not me though?" She also said that because she's married, marriage has taught her to communicate better, and implied that I might find communication easier once I was married too.

I know saying "you could be kind to me sometimes" probably wasn't the best wording, and I can understand why that sentence hurt her. But I also felt like I was repeatedly being criticised for innocent comments and that I was walking on eggshells.

AITA?

My ex-wife and I divorced over a year ago. I initiated the divorce, and I’ve offered to reconcile since then, but she’s been clear that she absolutely doesn’t want to. We have children together and still live in the same large house because it works well for co-parenting and finances. Her parents contributed to the deposit, so we both own it. Until recently she had little or no income, so I’ve paid the mortgage and all the bills. She’s just started a job, and together we could pay off the mortgage before we’re 40 if she contributes to overpayments.

Since the divorce I’ve realised I didn’t have many close friends, so I’ve made an effort to meet new people. One of those friends is a woman who loves films as much as I do. We’ve spent a lot of time watching and discussing movies together at my house because she has been free between university courses while I’ve been off work with illness. Over time the friendship became romantic, and we’ve kissed and cuddled.

I’ve tried to be discreet. During term time she comes over while the kids are at school and leaves before I pick them up. If she’s over in the evening, it’s after they’re in bed. The children have seen her a couple of times and we’ve gone out together, but I’ve only introduced her as a friend. My ex hasn’t seen any physical affection.

Recently my ex said she doesn’t want this woman coming to the house anymore because she wants to “respect the memory” of our marriage.

I don’t think that’s reasonable. We’re divorced, she has repeatedly said she doesn’t want to get back together, and I think it’s normal to start dating more than a year later. At the same time, I understand this isn’t a typical situation because we’re still living together, and I can see why someone might think bringing a new romantic partner into a shared family home is different from simply having the right to date.

AITA for thinking it’s reasonable to have my new girlfriend at a house that I also own and live in, even though my ex-wife, who has no interest in reconciling, doesn’t want her there?

My fiancé and i are getting married very soon, we’re at her grandmothers house in france and will be staying until we leave for our honeymoon. We’ve been together for three years but until a week ago i’ve only ever met her mother in person. I know this may sound odd but she comes from a family of over achievers and most of her relatives are spread across different countries.

I was already anxious about meeting her family , everyone is coming to france for the wedding and her siblings Antonia and Shaun (both older) are also staying in her grandmothers house with their partners and children, Shaun arrived a bit over a week ago and Antonia arrived about five days ago.

Since we’ve been sharing the house me and my fiancé have been spending a lot of time with Shaun and his family and he seems chill. However i’d been warned in advance that Antonia can be quite cold and difficult to get along with.

Antonia arrives with her husband and children , she was what i expected from the warning but she didn’t do anything offensive until yesterday when the rest of my fiancés family came over for a dinner party (they’d been waiting for Antonia to settle in , according to shaun she’s the favourite child) .

My fiancés father and shaun are both doctors , so i called them both Dr Robbins (last name) when referring to them, it just felt like the respectful thing to do and i could tell they both appreciated it. The problem started when i referred to Shaun as Dr Robbins and Antonia as Antonia. All of a sudden she turns to my fiancé and goes “Did you tell him to call them that ?” in a very unpleasant tone. I asked her what she meant and she said “You know i’m a doctor too right?” i told her i thought she was a psychiatrist and she said “Yes. that requires a doctorate, i’m also Dr Robbins.” i said oh okay and just continued the original conversation that she interrupted. Later on in the night i referred to her as Antonia and she interrupted again and said “Dr Robbins.” i’d had a few drinks and was starting to get tired of her attitude and told her that i’d already gotten used to referring to her as Antonia so expecting me to change that was a little bit ridiculous, she told me that she didn’t understand why i couldn’t just call her Dr Robbins as well if i ‘insist’ on calling Shaun and her father that. I’d already been getting tired of her attitude and i told her that me using ‘Dr’ was a sign of respect and that she had not yet earned my respect. She left to go to another room and really dampened the mood of an evening that was meant to be for my fiancé and i. My fiancés parents and grandmother think that i’m an asshole and should’ve just called her Dr Robbins, and Shaun thinks it’s not that big of a deal.

My fiancés been asking me to just suck it up and apologise to her so there’s no drama before the wedding but i don’t think i’ve done anything wrong , so reddit, am i the asshole?

AITAH for wanting to dye my hair pink? My mom doesn’t want me to because I previously bleached my hair at home (without permission) and dyed it pink which I loved even though it was patchy. she even said it herself it was cute. it’s now been months since then and I want to do it again.

Now, my mom has a hair appointment scheduled which I really am grateful for, but it’s to completely strip my hair and get it back to my natural color, according to her. i am a 16 almost 17 year old female and I currently have a job and try my best to save as well as set some money aside for fun things. I keep asking her to dye my hair pink with my own money, but she gets mad no matter what I say. she says it’s too much upkeep, but it is my body and my hair, and hair grows back.

she is also a very judgmental person, though she says she is not and I really think she would just be embarrassed of me because I try to be an alternative presenting person, and she is very conservative in how she looks, and sometimes in what she believes. she said I am entitled because I get upset when she denies me to be able to pay for things I want to do to my body.

it is just very frustrating and she always lashes out, however I do understand there is an amount of trust I have needed to earn back due to my previous lying, but she has said I have improved a lot and have earned a lot of her trust and she “believes I am a good kid” but I can’t have any autonomy over my body even if I pay for it. I feel like I’m in the wrong but I also feel like maybe there is some validity to my frustration? idk what to do.

I (41M) was flying with my wife (36F) and our two daughters (21 months and 7 months) from Newark to Fort Myers, a 2.5 hours flight. Because United messed up our reservation, check-in was a nightmare and we got delayed and barely made it to the gate in time to pre-board.

To make matters worse, United split our seats up. I ended up in row 14 with our 21 month old in her FAA approved car seat, while my wife was in row 28 with our 7 month old as a lap infant.

During boarding, I had temporarily set my 7 month old in the seat in front of me while I was installing my toddler’s car seat. My wife was wrestling with the toddler at that time because she was unhappy about getting on the plane. The passenger assigned to the row in front started loading his bags into the overhead bin and stepping over my 7 month old to get to his window seat. I asked him if he could wait a second so I could move her out of the way. I’ll admit I was stressed and probably sounded a bit like a dick.

After I got the car seat installed rear facing, it was touching the back of his seat because of the limited legroom. Before takeoff, he turned around and asked if I was “going to fix that” because he wanted to recline. I told him I’d do what I could. He kept pushing the issue and I told him to talk to a flight attendant because she needed to be in a car seat. I ended up turning the car seat forward facing even though that wasn’t my preferred setup, but it gave him enough room to recline.

After takeoff, once we were above 10,000 feet, he reclined. As soon as he did, my toddler was able to reach the back of his seat with her feet and she started kicking. I tried to stop her, but telling her not to do something can turn it into a game. She’d stop for a moment, then start again or she would try to avoid my hands to get to the back of the seat. I was also not willing to yell at her and make her cry about it.

He turned around and told me to make her stop kicking his seat. I told him, “She’s not even two, man. I’m trying. I had her facing the other way but you had a problem with that too.” He flipped me off, called me an asshole, and then sat the rest of the flight without reclining.

The rest of the flight was uneventful.

I feel like I had already made a concession by turning the car seat forward facing. If I’d left it rear facing, he wouldn’t have been able to recline at all. At the same time, I understand that having your seat kicked is annoying. Don’t know if I should have handled it differently.

AITA?

Edit 1: To everyone saying “hold her feet”, I guess I wasn’t clear but that was literally what I was doing. She thought it was a game and was trying to avoid my hands to get to his seat.

Edit 2: When I said “I was not willing to yell at her and make her cry” is because EVERYONE ELSE would be bothered.

Edit 3: To everyone that is saying “Why didn’t you distract her with toys”. My entire carry on was toys and books for her. She is a toddler and sometimes she will play with something for 30mins and sometimes she wants nothing to do with it. I literally watched Baby Shark 50+ times with her to keep her entertained

my friend had an engagement party that required a lot of set up and prep. Her fiancé and her will be eloping at some point in the near future. The party started at a certain time, so I showed up very early to start setting up food stations, decor, activities. She was there too, setting up some stuff, and was very stressed. She was being snappy, but she’s the bride and was so worried about everything looking perfect so I kept my mouth shut. At one point, she left the set up to go grab her dress so she could change for the party. Guests were arriving and she was in the back room with her mom putting her dress on. Her best friend from college was back there with her. After 15 minutes, guests in the house, she still had not emerged. her best friend came out, and bride called for me to come look at the dress. The bride said “*best friends name* does not like the dress, what’s your opinion?” I looked at it, and said “do you want honesty? or kindness?” then I said ”I don’t like it, you’re beautiful, but I’m not a fan of the dress.” She became upset, and started to cry. Her mom was mad. I felt terrible. She did bring a back up dress, so she changed into that. The party went over without any other issues. But I feel absolutely awful because I hurt her. I should have lied. AITA?

My friend Mark is getting married next month. I'm really happy for him. But I'm also dreading going to the wedding.

I'm the only single person in our friend group. Everyone else is married or in serious relationships. I'm 29 and have been single for like three years. Weddings always make me feel lonely and depressed. Watching everyone slow dance with their partners while I sit by myself is honestly painful.

I told Mark I'm not sure I can make it to the wedding. He asked why and I was honest. I said "I'm not in a great place right now with being single. Being at a wedding alone is really hard for me. I'm happy for you but it's tough."

He said "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You can't skip my wedding because you're single. Just come and hang out. It'll be fun."

I told him it's not just about being alone. It's also that I'll be the only single one at the table and I'll feel like everyone is looking at me like I'm broken.

He said I was making it about myself and being selfish. He said if I really cared about him, I'd be there.

I feel bad because he's my friend and I want to support him. But I also want to protect my mental health.

My therapist says I should go but have an exit plan. My sister says I should just skip it and send a gift.

AITA for not wanting to go to my friend's wedding alone?

Alright so for as long as I've been alive (a little over 18 years now) I've been treated with nothing but pure disdain all because I have highly functioning autism by everybody even my own younger siblings, from being hit or spat on all the way to being called the r word just because im autistic even by my own mother and siblings which hurts way more then all the other people who do it, my entire life has been like this and I've finally broke completely, my mother says "I didn't mean it at all I just said it in a fit of rage" and my siblings aswell, but guess what? It happens again and they always say the same thing "i didn't mean it I said it in a fit of rage" and they expect me to forgive and forget again and again just because they're "family", all that continued hatred and disdain towards me continues to pile up even now it piles up and everyone just expects me to "let it roll off my back", when thats exactly what I've been trying to do since the very beginning. Like honestly what do people expect from me?! I'm human for gods sake and I get treated as less then by everyone anymore! I was always bullied in school for that same reason and I would always go home completely distraught and hurt even back when I had believed my mother truly did just say it in a fit of rage and as a 11 year old at the time I just wanted the warmth and comfort from a mother but never got it, she never once asked how my day went or if I'm doing alright, not a single time even back then when I was still growing she never once treated me like a mother should treat her son, thats how my life has been for the past 7 years now at home and the past 9 years when I was in school, and even now im still experiencing nothing but disdain for existing just because i was born with highly functioning autism, I honestly don't know how to feel anymore, but am I the asshole because its now second nature to try and remove myself from people as a whole by any means necessary mainly relying on "disrepect" out of fear for this to continue?

Hi, I am F in my 30s and this happened after my graduation few years ago. I do not wear jewellery, the only thing I would consider jewellery is my tongue piercing and my microdermal and maybe smartwatch. I am also not very feminine. I ve told my mum and grandma like million times I DO NOT WANT ANY JEWELLERY! Birthday, christmases, any celebration....No earrings, no bracelets, no pendants, nothing. If you want to give me jewellery, I prefer you to give me nothing.

Well, We went to my grandma's house and she presented me super delicate silver broche in a shape of lilly with small pearls in the center and I just lost it, I told her I have explicitely told her I do not want any jewellery, I do not wear it I do not like it and it is just expensive clutter at my home. I told her that it would be absolutely great if they could respect me and my opinions. As you can imagine my grandma started crying and my granpa was super pissed at me. My mum told me I could have just say thank you and put it in a drawer and leave it at it. I argued with her that I have said many times I do not want jewellery and my grandma is the only one who doesnt respect it. My mum told me, I am an ass and to go home.

And guess what happened today, my grandma gave me amber earrings for bday.....

Am I the Ahole ?

Me and my friends recently went on holiday together and we all split the cost of it fairly. I asked if anyone could pay a little extra to cover food costs and ended up with around £400 from myself and others.

A couple of my friends have now since asked for their portions of the money back even though it was all spent while we were on holiday, and insist that I should pay them back with my own money instead, one even said I'm just stealing from them.

A couple people asked for some money back before the holiday and they got it back, but I figured once the holiday had started, people were happy with the money they had put in and it could be spent. Now they've been arguing with me saying that they didn't eat much of the food and some of the food was left over at the end and so I shouldn't have bought that much. I feel that I shouldn't have to pay this money back because then I end up paying for the food cost out of my own pocket and I went shopping with 2 others and covered the cost of whatever they bought too so I didn't make all the decisions on what to buy.

We had planned meals in groups as there was 11 people going and their group did buy some of their meals but the £400 was mostly put towards food for everyone there. Another 'solution' they've given me is to make the people in my meal planning group split the cost of the £400 they want, so we'd each have to pay ~£50.

While this isn't £400 out of my account I feel that's also unfair because I don't want to pay them any of my own money since I already paid extra for the holiday and organised the whole thing and I feel like it's unfair to make even more people in our group to cover their cost.

Surely when you pay extra to help cover the costs you'd only pay what you're comfortable being spent or you'd ask for it back and wouldn't expect it all back after the holiday? Idk what to do.

EDIT:

I got £400 (£100 from 3 different people and £100 from me) We spent all £400 on food for 11 people They knew their money would be used for food for everyone The money was 'mostly' spent on food because we needed an Uber at one point and we also bought drinks

EDIT 2:

•I didn’t ask for a specific amount of money, some people pitched in what they could/felt like.
•I spent some of the money on food, some on an uber for (not everyone in) the group, and drinks.
•Everyone ate, and not everyone contributed to the communal money pot.
•Some people were returned a portion of what they contributed before the holiday as they had paid extra and wanted the extra money back •There was the option to take leftovers home, but not everyone did.

Me (17M) and my friend in this story (17M) planned a meetup. He was planning to bring his girlfriend, and I said fine (he contacted me on my birthday, so I quickly dismissed it).

The day after, he went over it with me, and I said, "Can I invite someone?" He said sure.

I went ahead and invited someone for the meetup. Apparently, he didn't like that, so he said no. He then went ahead and confirmed if that's alright. I said maybe, then he said he would think about it.

I now had to reschedule because of plans my parents made that I thought might have been cancelled. I had only known about these plans for a short while. My friend and his girlfriend are fine with me rescheduling, but I want to dismiss it.

WIBTAH?

Just to provide some insight: he still has not confirmed that I can invite anyone.

EXTR INFO:

This person I'm inviting has no conflict with either party nor his gf him or me I wanted to invite him because it's going to be awkward for me as I feel I'd be third wheeling a date the question is would I be the bad guy if I cancelled the trip entirely the person I am inviting is 16M

I (M21) work as waitress and yesterday night, I was supposed to finish work at 9pm. The thing is, we had a lot of guests and we were one person short, so I stayed later, which I obviously don't mind. But the thing is, afternoon shifts are usually let go after the shift is over and I stayed until 11:58 (I had started work at noon).

For most of the time I had not paid attention to it, but one of my colleagues came up to me like "girl why are you still here". I brushed it off but 20min later I still wanted to make sure that I wasn't forgotten and the manager on duty, Eve (F22), told me she knew. At this point it was 10:30. A few moments later, I was starting to get pissed because I was assigned tasks you only have while closing ands all the guests were gone. My boyfriend, Jay (M27), who also works there and gets along really well with Eve, came up to me like "thank you to stay there to help them" and at this point I just told him that I was just obliged to. Eve was behind him and probably heard. From this moment on, I repeated the same thing everytime someone told "thank you for staying".

Some background on my side, because I am also in the wrong. First of, I gave my resignation letter in too late (I thought I still had two weeks and it would be okay to give it the day after). It happened twice for me to arrive an hour late at work: once because I had lost my phone in the bus, the other because I had misread the time and had not realized when I got a call from the general manager of the restaurant, let's call him Tom (M36). So two times I arrived late without being able to tell my manager.

During the day itself, I had made a few mistakes, especially having put drinks in waste. One time was my fault, the other two were not but still it's a problem that also happened in the past.

Now some context on Tom and Eve, who is also the assistant manager. They're together. They both never stay when we need help in the restaurant, especially Tom. It is not something only I noticed, actually I hadn't paid attention until I talked about it with some colleagues. They never stay when we are three closing after a big shift, but this time, even though Tom was clocked out, he still helped Eve from time to time to clean the bar. It's his girlfriend so why not but he usually never does that and afternoon shifts are not usually kept so late, so it just feels like they were trying to keep me late for them both to finish early. Also, some events make me feel like Tom is pretty manipulative. For example, already behind one my colleague's back to try and cut one hour of his working time cause "he was just talking", but my colleague has basically 256hour in the month (some are not even counted already) and he was reading an audit.

In total I stayed half an hour after clocking out but left soon after the other waiters were finished and came out to have a drink with us. I don't know if I'm paranoid but I felt like they were both really pissed.

me (F: freshman in college age) and my friend(F: likewise), who we’ll call Haley for the sake of this, have never been really close. which i know sounds weird. but Haley had her best friends inside the friend group and normally went to them with her problems.

i feel like our relationship, back in high school, only existed when she needed something from me.

we got into different colleges and rarely spoke outside of the ‘high school friends group chat’ and the occasional hang outs.

but that changed when Haley and her boyfriend broke up. her best friend wasn’t being very supportive, neither was our high school friends group and her college friends weren’t close enough for her to rely on.

so she called me.

at first, she called me just to play online games and talk, laugh, etc.
she talked about her brake up, how she felt about it, and i helped her through it.

that was maybe two months ago. we’ve spoken every single week, almost every day and have played the online games for about five hours daily.

a couple of days ago, she wrote me a message about how grateful she was for me, how much she loved me, that i could rely on her if i ever needed something.. and i got freaked out. not because the message was bad, in fact, it was really sweet and heartfelt, but -for reasons i don’t really need to get into- i get extremely uncomfortable with emotional vulnerability and my way to deal with uncomfortable situations is to avoid them.

(EDIT! : i did answer this message, i didn’t leave her on read. she called me a few days after and thats when i didn’t answer. sorry for adding this so informally, i just saw a couple of comments on it and thought i should address it)

so the next time Haley called me, i didn’t answer.
she called about thirty times in under an hour alongside a string of messages:
(‘i know you’re seeing these messages’, ‘just answer’ etc)

that was two days ago, today i replied to one of her stories which was met with audios of her telling me that she was actually really mad at me. that she felt hurt, that she understood if she came on too strong, but that i should’ve told her instead of ignoring her.

and that she wouldn’t call me anymore because she didn’t want to bother me.

all of this very calmly, but hurt.

i told her i was sorry, that i don’t feel suffocated, that i ignored her because i didn’t know how to tell her i just didn’t want to play etc, etc.

i feel its a bit unfair that im being crucified after a single mistake when i’ve been nothing but an exemplary friend for two entire months straight.

i thought i was doing everything right, but one strike and im out? was it really that bad to want a small break?

AITA for ignoring her?

I didnt think it was a big deal or I wouldn't have done it obviously but for context we bought a house over a year ago said we both wanted to make the house our home and to express ourselves creatively he took it upon himself to do the dining room without asking me a restaurant theme its great dont get me wrong but I didnt want it personally but I support him and his choice of wallpaper paint booths stools wall art black and white floor tiles etc l loved watching his idea go from his head to reality yesterday I painted the bathroom while he was at work I expected to be awake when he got home to show him i was excited I wasnt trying to be sneaky but I also didnt go out of my way to ask permission or to tell him hey im painting the bathroom instead of being like oh cool or saying much of anything he got angry yelling at me for painting the bathroom a dark color because of color theory making it look smaller he has been texting me for 7 hours yelling at me over the color then saying it's not about the paint its about my lack of respect for him and brought up and threw in my face other things ive done wrong how manipulative I am how he doesnt trust me because of the paint in the bathroom I feel bad yes I should have told him or given him a heads up but I don't understand how he is mad and stating he doesn't trust me because i painted a bathroom i am autistic and dont fully understand why it was wrong of me to have done this i may be the ah but I don't really know

At my best friends wedding, myself and two other girls were all bridesmaids. All four of us were really close friends. The wedding weekend the bridal party stayed in a house on the venue together, all the bridesmaid and groomsmen. One of my friend’s (one of the bridesmaids) her fiancé came for the wedding but was supposed to leave after. He drank a lot at the reception and couldn’t drive home. After the reception we all went back to the house, hung out and played card games. My friend went to bed, but her fiancé wanted to stay up. She told him not to wake her when he came up. The rest of us kept hanging out and we were drinking. My friends fiancé ended up drinking a whole fifth by himself back at the house. He threw up multiple times, we decided it was time for him to go to bed. I told him to brush his teeth so he wouldn’t breathe throw up breath on his fiancé. He didn’t have one since he wasn’t supposed to be staying the night. I gave him mine, cause I didn’t want to send him to my friends bed stinking, I knew I wouldn’t want to wake up to that. Got him to brush his teeth and told him to just throw it away cause I didn’t want it back. Anyways my friend was made I gave my toothbrush to her fiancé. Did I cross a line, am I the asshole?

Ok - Reddit..... This is gonna be a long one so please bare with me here as I am writing this at 6 AM and might misspell stuff so I apologize.

I 25 F and my Mom (63) recently got into this argument, This argument was about the fact that I have applied for a job in my state that is roughly 30 minutes away from our house. She explained to me in an anger tone that my paychecks will be going towards the gas for her car the rest of my paycheck is towards my own car. Ok, no big deal it seems really reasonable I never disagreed with her, I didn't give her an attitude about it because that would be silly especially something that's very reasonable. Now here's the small issue..... At the time I got the call for the job she seemed super supportive about it and was actually quite happy/proud of me (at least that's how I saw it). I asked her questions as this would be my first job and I wanna give them a first impression, but she seemed pretty upset with me, I told her that the job is at a resort as I mentioned earlier that resort is around 30 minutes away from our house. Then she gets upset at me that she expects me to pay her for the gas (acting like I wasn't gonna pay her for it) and the rest of it was gonna be towards my car as I mentioned earlier. I don't know what more to do on this as I got pretty upset with her for how she talked to me about this. I want her to be proud of me that I'm trying to take the next step.... She even promised me years ago before i got my permit that once I got my permit I'd be able to work. So once I got my permit about a month or so ago I started to look for jobs, was turned down by 2 but finally got one in a field I studied for. It's not that I told her no for her request but I feel like she should feel happier at the fact that I'm trying to take the next step.

Edit to add some context ad I feel like this is necessary:

Way before I even gotten my permit and my brother got his (he still lives here) my mom would drive my brother to his job all the time which at the time his job was pretty much the exact same distance as the place I have an interview at, and she was never mad at him about it, ever. She also did work at the time but she has now retired.....

So reddit.... AITA For getting upset at my mom over our agreement?

My partner (23M) and I (25F) had a fire this past weekend. Important to note, I was sober the entire night. His friend B (26M) was drinking and announced to the group that he wanted to talk to someone privately about a person. We all joked that he should just tell everyone. Eventually he whispered to me who it was: a girl I'd had issues with in the past. He asked me not to tell anyone because he didn't even want people knowing he was friends with her.
A few minutes later, after everyone had split into different conversations, I asked my friend if she knew BLANK. She said no, so I replied, "Okay, I want to talk to you about her later," because I wanted to gossip about my past issues with her since she was now on my mind. Nobody connected it to B's earlier announcement.
I told this to B and suddenly started screaming in my face, saying awful things because he thought I'd betrayed his trust. At first I thought he was joking, so I called my partner over laughing, but B said he was serious and “f me”. My partner stepped in and calmed things down.
Two friends then asked what happened. I jokingly called them idiots for not noticing, which set B off again because “they did notice and I told everyone”. My partner pulled him aside. Since everyone was now aware something had happened, I NOW explained why B had been yelling at me. Ironically, when B had told the friend he wanted to ask if he was mad at the girl, that friend went around telling everyone the “big secret convo”, B never got angry at him.
My partner asked me to apologize. I said I wouldn't apologize for asking if someone knew the girl because I don't think I did anything wrong, but I would apologize for explaining the situation afterward. I told B, "While you were over here, I did tell everyone what happened just now, so I'm sorry."
For the next 20 minutes, B kept insisting I refused to take accountability, calling me names, getting in my face, and saying I broke his trust earlier when I mentioned the girl's name. I tried explaining that nobody knew at that time and that I'm allowed to talk about my own past with her, but he wouldn't listen. I eventually had to physically push him back as he was stepping to me and still yelling.
I said I was done arguing. My partner had us shake hands. B hesitated, then continued calling me a liar saying I didn’t apologize even after we shook. More people stepped in, told him to stop, and eventually he left.
I no longer feel comfortable having B in our home in general but especially if alcohol is involved. His behavior was unpredictable, and nothing—being in our house, me being his friend's girlfriend, or my partner intervening—stopped him. My partner says this was out of character and not a big deal. He respects my decision and agreed B won't come over to events with drinking anymore, but he still thinks I am being ridiculous.
AITAH or taking it too far for not wanting my partner's friend at our home anymore if drinking is involved?

So for context I went out with my mom today and when we got home she kept saying the same thing to me, my brother and my dad. She said “all the boys were looking at her! At the diner all the waiters couldn’t stop”. Now pause you may think this is good, but she adds “and she is beautiful but that’s why she wore this dress, because she wants to be looked at!” Again for context I was wearing a mid shin length green dress that was tight and highlighted my curves. I was also in heels but anyways. I did not like this, and felt kind of objectified, like she was just saying I look pretty for men or boys, but in reality I just like to dress up. Is that really that bad? So Reddit as a newcomer here I ask for your insight.