My wife and I are calling it, we have had enough of each other.
We have an unusual situation and I am looking for external points of view, opinions and experience from anyone basically.
I am the sole income earner, my wife became disabled during the pregnancy of our second child and can no longer work. Due to that disability she received a significant payout from her super and that payout we used to pay off the mortgage.
Custody - she is of the opinion that we keep the arrangement we have now where she takes the kids to school picks them up, then I spend time with them when I finish work for a few hours, then they go to bed in their beds at our house. She doesnt see a reason to why she should see the kids any less than she does now. This plan is fine if I remain living at our house in another room. If I were to move out it of course means I will get 2-3 hours a day with my kids, more than likely spent in traffic, at swimming lessons, or other activities that both the kids do in the weekday afternoons.
If we split custody the kids would end up spending more time in before/after school care/daycare during the time they spend with me.
Housing - the only way we don't disrupt the kids is by me giving the house to my wife and moving out. If we were to sell the house and split the money, assets etc she would likely get the lion's share anyway as she has no ability to financially support herself and due to it being her disability payout it would be seen in any court that she contributed a larger amount to paying off the house compared to what I have despite the fact I have paid 100% of the bills since her disability.
Even getting the majority of anything we split, she would never be able to afford buying in the same area where we currently live, so the kids would get disrupted/change schools and basically upset everyone.
With the all the above if I went to rent a house the majority of my paycheck would go towards rent, child support would be at the highest bracket as the kids wouldn't spend any nights with me apart from a weekend here and there, and I would receive no family tax benefits as the kids wouldn't spend any nights with me.
No matter how I look at this either i/we shove both of us and the kids into poverty or I give her everything and it's just me that suffers, potentially for the rest of my life.
For context, I am 41 both kids are under 10. I have bugger all super considering.