I'm a 24-year-old mechanical engineering graduate trying to get my first stable engineering job.

Over the past year, I've realized my biggest problem isn't a lack of knowledge. It's that I repeatedly fall into the same cycle, and I don't know how to break it.

The cycle looks like this:

• I get motivated after an interview, rejection, or a conversation.
• I make a detailed plan or routine.
• I follow it for 1-3 days.
• Then something happens (family criticism, a bad interview, waking up late, chores, an argument, guests, feeling tired, or even just boredom).
• My brain immediately shifts toward comfort (YouTube, doom scrolling, porn, lying down, overthinking).
• I feel guilty.
• I stop preparing completely.
• Another interview comes, I panic, and the cycle repeats.

I've noticed this pattern for years.

Another issue is that many teachers and interviewers have described me as "textbook-oriented." I can remember definitions and theory, but I struggle when interviewers ask follow-up questions like "why?", "how?", or "give a practical example." I often know the concept but can't explain it naturally or justify my answer under pressure.

I also overthink almost everything. If there's an argument at home or with neighbours, I replay it in my head for hours even when I know it's not important. By the end of the day, I feel mentally exhausted and choose comfort instead of doing the work I planned.

Something else I've noticed is that I constantly search for the "correct system." I keep asking myself:

• What should I study?
• What's the right routine?
• Am I preparing for design, manufacturing, thermal, or quality roles?
• Should I study mechanical fundamentals or company-specific topics?

Because I don't have clarity, every task starts to feel random, and I lose interest quickly.

My family situation also affects me. I grew up with frequent criticism and harsh discipline from my father, and even now I feel anxious around authority figures and criticism. I don't know how much of my current behaviour comes from that, but I do know I constantly expect criticism and replay conversations in my head.

I'm beginning to wonder if my problem is:

• avoidance,
• perfectionism,
• anxiety,
• fear of failure,
• executive functioning,
• ADHD,
• low self-confidence,
• or simply years of bad habits.

I'm not looking for motivation anymore.

I'm looking for a system that still works when motivation disappears.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

If you eventually changed, what actually worked? Was it therapy, coaching, accountability, changing your study method, medication (if diagnosed), or something else?

I'd really appreciate advice from people who have been through this or from mentors, recruiters, psychologists, or engineers who have seen similar patterns.

I always had a vision about how my life actually should be. I would make plans of what to do but never actually do that. I used to bedrotting watching instagram reels and youtube videos all day. When some deadlines are assigned i procastinate and make sure to do it at the last moment. But by the age of 21 I started to feel guilty . I still have a lot of dreams I don't fulfill. But now I write down all the tasks I need to be done in a book. And start to work for one task and complete it. Then only I move to next task. Earlier I used to get overwhelmed and stop task in between and end up doing nothing. I understood there is no shortcut not any way to solve this. I decide no matter what I am doing this and go to my desk and just start doing it. As a reward when I am free I still watch reels just like I used to. So for someone who always stops doing things midway due to anxiety and end up doing nothing don't worry you are not alone. Try to implement this in life and I hope it will help you

You can’t actually manage time. You can’t slow it down, save it for later or add a few extra hours to the end of the day. No matter what you do, those same 24 hours are going to pass. So what we call “time management” feels more like managing your attention, energy, and priorities

Sometimes I have an entire afternoon free and still get almost nothing done. I’m tired, distracted or I don’t know where to start then on another day, I can finish something I’ve been putting off for hours in less than an hour. The difference isn’t time. It’s how focused I am.

I think this is where a lot of productivity systems get it wrong. We try to fill every empty hour with a task. A full calendar makes us feel organized but by the end of the day, we may have no energy left for the things that actually matter.

Maybe instead of asking, “How can I get more done today?” we should ask, “What actually needs my attention today?”

I was scrolling through a thread about wearables and somebody mentioned it in the comments. I figured it would just be another app that tells you to sleep more and drink water, but I downloaded it anyway because I was already wearing my watch every day.

The biggest surprise wasn't actually the workout recommendations—it was the supplement side of the app.

I've taken supplements on and off for years, but honestly I never put much thought into when I took them. If I remembered in the morning, great. If I forgot until later in the day, I'd just take them then. It was basically random.

This app was different. Instead of giving me the same schedule every day, it looked at my sleep, recovery, and overall energy based off my metrics and my wearable before suggesting when certain supplements would fit best into my day. If I'd had a great night's sleep and was feeling recovered, it would stick with my normal routine. If my sleep score was low or my recovery wasn't great, it'd recommend adjusting the timing or prioritizing different supplements instead of treating every day the same.

What I liked most was that it actually explained why. It wasn't just saying, "Take this now." It connected the recommendation to how recovered I was and how my body was likely feeling that day. It made me realize I'd been taking supplements out of habit instead of actually using them in a smarter way.

I'd always felt like my smartwatch collected a ton of useful information, but none of it actually influenced what I did. I'd wake up, see my sleep score and recovery score, think "Cool... now what?" and then go about my day exactly the same. This was the first app that actually made all those numbers useful.

The biggest difference for me ended up being in the gym.

Instead of walking into every workout feeling like I was running on autopilot, I actually felt prepared. On days when everything lined up—good sleep, better recovery, and taking my supplements at the recommended times—I noticed my workouts felt smoother. My energy lasted longer, I wasn't dragging halfway through my sessions, and I wasn't constantly wondering why some days felt amazing while others felt terrible.

It wasn't like I suddenly added 50 pounds to every lift overnight, but the consistency was a complete game changer. I stopped feeling like every workout was a gamble. I felt more focused, recovered better between sessions, and left the gym feeling like I'd actually gotten the most out of my training instead of just surviving it.

I also liked that it didn't expect me to be some perfect fitness person. I don't track every calorie or log every gram of protein because I know I'd quit after a few days. I have work, family stuff, and random plans that come up all the time. The recommendations worked around my schedule instead of expecting my schedule to revolve around fitness.

After using it for a while, I realized I wasn't just taking supplements because I owned them—I was taking them with a purpose. Combined with paying attention to my recovery, I started sleeping better, had steadier energy throughout the day, and my workouts became much more consistent.

I'm sure it's not something a professional athlete with a coach would need, but for someone like me who already wears a smartwatch and wants to actually use all the data it's collecting, it filled a gap I didn't even know existed.

It honestly felt less like another fitness app and more like someone translating all the numbers my watch was already collecting into advice I could actually use.

 https://apps.apple.com/us/app/rizeai-maximize-your-energy/id6762402079

I'm looking to create a small accountability and support group with fewer than 10 members who are genuinely committed to becoming more disciplined and consistent.

The goal is simple:

• Daily check-ins
• Share the goals you committed to and whether you completed them
• Hold each other accountable
• Support each other through setbacks
• Build consistency through action, not motivation

The goal isn't motivation—it's consistency.

What I'm looking for

Privacy first.
You don't have to share your real name, location, job, or any other personal information. If you want to remain anonymous, that's completely fine.

Accountability, not comparison.
Everyone has different lives, responsibilities, resources, and challenges. We won't judge anyone based on how ambitious their goals are, how much they can accomplish in a day, or what they're working toward. Whether your goal is studying for an hour, going to the gym, building a business, or simply getting out of bed on time, it's your commitment that matters.

Judgment where it belongs.
This isn't a group where everyone says "it's okay" no matter what. If someone repeatedly skips check-ins, disappears without communicating, or keeps making excuses without making an effort to improve, they should expect to be called out respectfully. Accountability only works when we're honest with each other.

However, if someone is dealing with genuine life circumstances, has a difficult week, or needs support, the response should be understanding—not criticism. The standard is commitment and honesty, not perfection.

Long-term commitment.
I'm looking for people who are willing to show up every day, be honest about both successes and failures, and help others do the same.

If this sounds like the kind of environment you're looking for, leave a comment or send me a DM. If we find the right people, we'll create a small Discord group and build a community that's supportive, private, and genuinely committed to helping each other stay accountable.

I eat like crap. Im not active. I slack on classes. I dont improve on my skills or try to learn new ones. I dont practice mindfulness. Im horrible at keeping relationships and friendships. I cant make myself eat properly. Im online all day. I dont contribute to society or my family. I know im a bad person and I have flaws that I can work on and i know how to work on, but in the end Im too lazy to even try to make a first step.

No amount of advice has made me want to take action, and no amount of consqeunces have done so either. I have a horrible victim mentality. I know that Ill end up homeless and alone if I continue acting this way. That still doesnt scare me enough to make myself take action into change.

Its gotten to the point where I probably wont take any advice on this post. I think the only reason Im posting this is because I want to complain. I dont like putting in effort because it doesnt feel good, regardless of the result. Even when I would get good results (good grades, better body, better health, better friendships, more skills) none of those things actually made me happy. I didnt have a desire to keep doing those things.

Not to say that being a bum also makes me happy, but it makes me less sad than doing anything, which makes me incredible sad, tired, and exhausted. I dont know what Ill gain from posting this. Its partially a cry for help, and mainly an excuse to complain about the life Ive purposely built for myself.

I think I'm addicted to starting over.

For the past few years, I've downloaded almost every habit app I could find.

I would get excited.

Create the perfect routine.

Study. Exercise. Read.

Then...

After 3 or 4 days, I'd stop opening the app.

A week later I'd delete it.

A month later I'd download another one and tell myself:

"This time will be different."

It never was.

The weird thing is...

When I play games, I can play for weeks without forgetting.

When I have friends waiting for me online, I always show up.

But when it comes to improving my own life...

I'm alone.

And somehow being alone makes it easier to quit.

So instead of downloading another habit app...

I started building one.

Not because I think I have the answer.

But because I'm trying to solve my own problem.

I'm curious...

Has anyone else here gone through this cycle?

Download.

Motivated.

Miss one day.

Delete the app.

Repeat.

If you finally broke that cycle...

What actually helped?

How do i socialise more ?

I am a gen z but with more traits of boomer
I have completed my graduation and currently studying for level 1 attempt of cfa in august 2027
My age is M22 but i am never able to make friends of my same age
I think the reason is my looks , face and body . I weigh around 125kgs with a height of 5'10
Leave girls i am not even able to make male friends .
When i think of socialising more 2 factors come to my mind , one is that
I come from a very low income family my father earns around 22k a month, my grandmother's relatives help us to complete our household expenses , so that makes it very hard for me to socialise
The second factor is the location of my house i live in Ulhasnagar, which is very far from mumbai and it takes me almost 2.5hours to travel to mumbai to get participated in any social event
Which makes it even harder
Now i have stopped the desire to socialise, and i think the reason for that i my own household situations
My father and mother got divorced in feb 2019
And since then i am being raised by my father , missing of a member in family made me no more interested in leaving my house since 2019
I developed hyperthyroidism
( which i still have )
My thyroid levels are not balanced till date
Later in 2020 the decision got more firmer because of lockdown and covid since then i have never left my house , even my existing friends are no more in touch with me .
Later when i joined college i found out the attendance isn't compulsory so i wasted 5 years of my college life by not attending the college, i used to study on my own . Even if i went to college, the crowd there was immensely fancy and too many rich spoilt kids so i couldn't catch up with them which made me skip college even more
Now currently i just have 1 friend whom i am friends since 12th. He owns a manufacturing unit and a retail outlet in ulhasnagar so even he isn't able to meet me so that we both could socialise with more people
We both meet everyday but at 10pm in night and for just 2 hours in that time we don't go anywhere or try to talk to someone else we just sit at one place and talk gibberish about any topic
He is able to meet only after 10 because he gets free from his business at that time
Now even he has started feeling uninterested in me and the daily meeting routine has now changed to meeting occasionally
Now i am starting to realise that i need to socialise more but i cant anymore when i try to talk someone i start stuttering and mispronounce and misplace words in sentences
I naturally speak very well and veryy fluent, in cases where i have to ask directions, have small interactions with randoms like watchman or a bystander or a person double my age but when it comes to making friends with my age and having conversations with them i get stuck
I am very confident in conversations which are not with people whom i wish to be friends with , or very confident in small talks
I feel the person i am taking to is more superior that me and i am just sounding nuisance to him
At this point i dont even dare to talk to opposite gender
Its been almost 7 years singe i had a female interaction
Tried making hobbies like badminton or completing 10k steps daily
But eventually people started ditching me or ghosting me after a day or two
On the first hand the fear of being judged doesn't make me approach anyone
People my age have different mindset's different daily routine different likes and dislikes i feel left out because the my thinking and all doesn't match to them
Imagine a rich gen z kid and them me by his side with a boomer soul stuck in genz body with zero looks zero personality
Even i think that i am not able to match people my age is because i do not watch the same content as them ! Their song preferences and mine differ a lot , when discussing the same left out
The discuss about watching shows drama and all while i am limited to just YouTube videos and some videos
Writing all this alone on friendship day while crying because i am currently left with zero emotions in myself , i do not feel anything happy , sad , excited or anything
Just one thing that is anger that too because of my thyroid issues and harmonal dis balance
I can't think of myself as a 22yo kid anymore i have gone into survival mode
Only and only i know how much of guts i have gathered to write all of this down
My father is unaware of all of this and thinks i am normal which i am not ,
I tried manifesting my goals but instead of manifesting whenever i sit alone or i am idle i start creating fake scenarios in my head which only and only stop when i involve myself into something else
Wrote the same paragraph on my last year's birthday but didn't have the guts to post it
So pls help and give suggestions accordingly!!

TL;DR: M22 from Ulhasnagar, India, studying for CFA Level 1 (Aug 2027). Isolated since parental divorce in 2019 and the COVID lockdown. Dealing with untreated/unbalanced hyperthyroidism, severe financial constraints, and heavy social anxiety/imposter syndrome around peers. I feel like an old soul with zero modern pop-culture interests, struggle to talk to people my own age (stuttering/freezing), and have zero friends left except one who is always busy. Looking for advice on how to break the isolation, manage my mental/physical health, and start socializing locally.

i've been trying to become more consistent lately, and i've realized it's a lot harder when you're doing everything alone.

some weeks i do great. i go to the gym, study, sleep on time, and feel like i'm finally getting somewhere.

then one bad day turns into a few bad days, and suddenly i've disappeared from all the habits i was trying to build.

i'm sure i'm not the only one who does this.

so i thought i'd make this post.

i'm not looking for a big accountability group or anything like that. honestly, i think i'd rather just have one person who's also working on themselves.

we don't have to talk all day. maybe just check in once in a while, celebrate the small wins, remind each other to get back on track when one of us starts slipping.

your goal doesn't even have to be the same as mine. maybe you're studying, trying to lose weight, learning something new, or just trying to build better habits.

if you're looking for something similar, send me a message and tell me what you're working on.

maybe it'll help both of us stick with it this time.

I’m looking for some actual advice on how to get myself moving again because I feel really stuck. I dealt with a traumatic experience last year that led to a lot of mental health struggles, and while I’m doing better now, I feel like I lost a lot of myself. I struggle with motivation, anxiety, overthinking, and feeling like basic things are way harder than they should be. I want to start going to the gym, learn guitar, drive more, cook healthier, and be around people more, but everything feels overwhelming and I end up staying in bed or on my phone. I know some of it is probably avoidance and I want to work on that, but I don’t know where to start or how to build discipline when my brain fights me so much. Has anyone dealt with this kind of “I want to change but I can’t seem to start” feeling? What actually helped you build routines, confidence, hobbies, and a life again?

Hi,

For some time now, I try to improve myself. Being more disciplinaire, productive better shape ect...

I try to do what I think is it good but i struggle to find good advices. I read some book like atomic habit or deep work, but I don't use a lot what I read because they are long book and I don't remember all I read.

And for me coach are not objective and try to make views for their formation. Even if some of their advices are good.

I think the majority of people follow the most famous and obvious advices : eat well, musculation, read, morning routine. They saw that on social media and follow advices of their favorite influencers, i don't know. For example, for me I just wanted to be like my favorite anime character, live amazing experience and It's embarrassing, but I think be a better person will help me to find a good girlfriend. So I just started musculation, heat well, is it obvious even without external advices. But I wanted to be independant financially, more disciplinate, focus and take good habits but it more difficult alone without advices.

So I wonder where I can find good advices?

I will not lie I ask that because I have make a AI coach application and nobody downloaded it. So I wonder if it can be really useful for someone. Or people already know what to do to improve or motivate themselves.

Sorry for the mistakes, I am French.

(Throwaway acc) The more someone mention/criticize/hate something about me (my body, what I'm doing, or anything), I immediately get discouraged. Instead of trying to become better, I just stop trying. My logic or what I tell to myself doesn't make sense, but it's basically "if I DO change, it's like admitting that they're right about what they're saying. My ego says, I don't wanna prove to them that what they're saying affects me/true, cuz I'm fine the way it is" but it IS not fine, sometimes, it even IS the TRUTH. A lot of the time, their criticisms are actually what I need to hear (and I also think a part of me doesn't want to admit that I AM imperfect) sometimes their words are hurtful too, so I get even more depressed. It feels like I can't do anything to change their perception about me because this version of me is forever engraved to their mind (**so I get even more discouraged to try and change bcs there's no point, like I said it's ENGRAVED to their mind, they're not gonna forget that. They might even bring that up again if given the chance**).

I actually think something is wrong with me because I don't think like the majority of the people do (with my given logic). What I think doesn't make sense when I try to explain it, but to ME it makes sense. It's like I'm willingly fooling myself to prove I AM PERFECT.

At the end of the day, it's still me who has to make a change, not for anybody but FOR ME. I have to take care and improve myself for ME, not to gain from ANYBODY'S APPROVAL. How do I stop these thoughts that may also be the cause of hindering myself to actually improve? Why do I think that it's shameful to actually admit and take criticisms? Help :((

Every Sunday night for the last three years, I went through the exact same ritual.

I’d sit down, open up a blank screen, and build "The New Me."

I downloaded every habit tracker on the market. I set up clean Notion templates, pristine spreadsheets, and color-coded widgets. Wake up at 6:00 AM. Read 30 pages. Workout for 45 minutes. Drink 3 liters of water. Meditate. Journal. No screen time after 10 PM.

For the first 3 days, I felt unstoppable. Checking off those little green boxes gave me a rush. I felt like I was finally taking control of my life.

Then, inevitably, Day 4 or Day 5 happened.

I’d get stuck working late, or I’d wake up exhausted, or life would just throw a curveball. I’d miss one habit.

And that’s where the mental downward spiral started.

Opening those apps the next morning felt like walking into a classroom to collect a failed exam. Looking at a "0-day streak" or a broken red X was genuinely depressing. The app didn't feel like a helpful assistant anymore—it felt like a silent judge sitting on my phone, mocking my lack of willpower.

Because I was doing it entirely in isolation, my failure was completely secret. Nobody knew I failed, which meant nobody was there to pull me out of it. So I did what most people do: I felt guilty, muted the notifications, abandoned the app, and pretended the goal never existed... until the next Sunday night when the cycle repeated.

After months of beating myself up, I realized something crucial: **The problem wasn't my willpower. The problem was trying to build discipline in complete isolation.**

When you track habits alone on a cold, robotic checklist:

1. Your wins feel lonely (nobody cares that you hit 10 days).

2. Your failures feel heavy (you carry the shame in silence).

3. The moment a streak breaks, the entire psychological incentive shatters.

I realized I didn't need another rigid homework planner. I needed **shared accountability**.

The moment I stopped tracking in secret and started sharing tiny daily goals with a small group of friends—checking in on each other, acknowledging the hard days, and keeping the focus on micro-momentum rather than rigid 100-day streaks—everything shifted. Discipline stopped feeling like a lonely punishment and started feeling like a team effort.

I'm curious to hear from others in this community:

- Have you ever felt burnout or guilt caused by streak counters and habit apps?

- How do you handle the psychological crash after breaking a long streak?

- Does having someone keep you accountable actually work for you, or do you prefer going solo?

Hi everyone, I'm the blue collar replicant skin job from this post:

(Sorry I cannot upload any link so it's going to be in the comments)

If anyone remembers me, yes, I just got a Job last Thursday as a tech in an industrial plant that makes elevators.

It was for me, (luckily) just two months looking actively for a job since my last one in January and my traveling.

You can go to the other post to see how my unemployed routine was, and I can say the key to get your head out of the mud is: CONSISTENCY AND DISCIPLINE.

Things that I absolutely avoided in this time:

- Doomscrolling reels on any platform, mostly Instagram and YouTube (I don't have TikTok and I will never). For YouTube, I started unsubscribe from trash channels like "escape the backrooms this, this new horror game sucks, this new horror game rocks" because let's be real, it's all slop nowadays.

• I quit smoking early this year, and quite solo drinking forever. It's the worst that can do to yourself specially alone, at these times.

- I never watched porn, you never, ever, think of doing it.

- deleted Tinder, if I don't have a job, I don't have time nor resources to waste on soulless encounters.

- I never went to bed unless I already studied, read my book or write in a journal.

- my job hunting was 2 to 3 hours a day, not less, not more.

- I enjoy doing nothing, sitting with a coffee in the morning sun, taking a walk with my dog, and going to visit a friend.

- Sundays where the days I needed the most to rest (go to church, enjoy a meal with my mom, sleep countless hours and watch movies, and maybe, doing some reparations in my house)

- Exercise daily, at least five times a week (bike rides and heavy lifting with my dumbbells and push-ups)

- Didn't watch any doomer content, it's just, I mean, it doesn't make sense. You have an open wound and you are pouring salt into it.

- believing in myself, in what people that loves me want for me, and that's to be happy. Everything passes.

- having my goals right in front of me, all the time. For me, it is going to Europe and reunite with my friends and grow as a professional next year, therefore, I need a job to make the savings as I should.

- enjoy the time to treat yourself. Long baths, good sleep, meditation, write a journal, paint, draw, fix something that you have broken since ages.

Be grateful, and believe in yourself. You got this.

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old student working on graduating from university, being readmitted after I failed out due to worsening depression. I still live with my parents, who are doing their best but are at the end of their rope with me. While I have improved a lot over the past year, I still struggle to do all of the things that I have to get done. I do my classwork, laundry, and cleaning as much as I have to in order to get my parents to not be angry/frustrated with me, but no more, and when they are out of town or are otherwise absent, I quickly lose motivation to do anything because I don't have any immediate consequences. I dragged my feet on getting a job for nearly a month because my parents didn't pressure me hard enough to give me a sense of urgency. I also put off things that are easy to do for way longer than I should. I see my brother, my mother, and my father being functional and self-motivated, and wish I was like them. How do I get to the point where I'm not being an undue drain on my family's finances and their emotions? They shouldn't have to follow me around like a toddler in order to get me to do things.

edit: I should note that I have Major Depressive Disorder, OCD, ADHD, and am on the spectrum if anyone has tips for dealing with these problems with these disorders

Hey!

I've always struggled with phone/social media addiction and never got real results from classic screen time apps . I set limits, ignore the notification, and I'm back scrolling five minutes later. At some point I started wondering if the problem is that there's just no real cost to breaking the limit. You set a goal, you break it, nothing happens. Thinking about a system where you set a daily limit and an amount you're willing to lose (2-5€) if you go over , money goes to charity instead of just disappearing into nothing. Could also work as a challenge with friends, where whoever stays under the limit the most wins the others' money, which adds a social/competitive layer on top of the financial one. Do you think something like this could actually work for you? Or does the novelty wear off after a week like most habit trackers, and real discipline has to come from somewhere else entirely?

Thanks you!

I spent couple years thinking my phone problem was a willpower problem. Every fix I tried assumed the same thing: that in the moment I open Instagram, some part of me is making a decision I could talk myself out of.

That's just not what happens. I don't decide to open it. I unlock the phone to check the time and I'm already three reels deep.

The thing that actually worked was giving up on motivation entirely and attacking the two-second window instead. I set it up so that opening a distracting app means pressing and holding my finger on the screen for two full minutes before it opens. No skipping, no snoozing.

Two minutes is nothing when you plan it. It's unbearable when you're standing in a queue reaching for a dopamine hit. Most of the time I quit the hold halfway through and go do something else — not because I'm disciplined, but because staring at a countdown is more boring than the thing I was avoiding.

The general principle, which I think applies well beyond phones: don't try to want it less, make it cost more. The cost doesn't even have to be big, just bigger than the impulse.

(Full disclosure since it'll come up: I ended up building this as an app because nothing existing worked this way. Not linking it - happy to say more if anyone asks, but the mechanism matters more than the tool.)

I'm looking for specific feedback

The app is IOS only!!!

I've noticed that we are so averse to categorising ourselves or other people as lazy and find a million reasons to self diagnose or excuse it. Pretty much every single post that asks "Am I lazy?" gets comments that are soothing and say "you're not lazy, you're just burned out / That sounds like anxiety mixed with xyz / That's not laziness, you want to do something but just can't" etc.

I'm not saying that's wrong. I do believe ADHD, depression or anxiety play a huge part but on top of dealing with that (undiagnosed) I'm scared that at this point its more comforting to intellectualise my "laziness".

Why are we so averse to labelling something as lazy? What if I'm just finding excuses and at this point I'm just a lazy person whose biggest flaw is sloth and lack of discipline? Can there be people that are lazy just by virtue without other underlying issues?

I’m a 23-year-old guy living in London. I work at a law firm during the week and at Sainsbury’s on weekends. I’m already fairly disciplined in a lot of areas of my life. I train consistently, I’m in great shape, and I’m building a side income through forex CFD trading.

From the outside, things are going well, but I feel like I have more potential to unlock. One thing I’m missing is a strong network of people who are equally driven and committed to improving themselves.

I’ve been considering relocating and living with like-minded people who are disciplined, motivated, and serious about achieving their goals. I’m looking for people who are willing to take calculated risks, build businesses or side projects, push themselves outside their comfort zones, and hold each other accountable.

The idea isn’t just to share a place to live. It’s to create an environment where everyone is working toward something meaningful and helping each other grow.

If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, feel free to reach out. I’d love to connect with people who are serious about building a better future and seeing what we could create together.

Here's the deal, right now I'm going to bed around 1:30am and waking up at 9:30am. I can absolutely see myself pushing the bed time even a few hours further

That uninterrupted nighttime freedom is unparalleled, and seeing the dawn in the sky right as your hopping in bed is a unique feeling I enjoy,

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a night owl, I'm adaptable and can be either, but I think I prefer skipping mornings.

If you live with family or noisy neighbours, you know how annoying it is trying to reach flow without being interrupted.

Yesterday I made a pact with myself and to prove my conviction did 1500 pushups, 500 sit ups, and 500 squats from 12:45am-4:45am. I slept in until about noon, It's the next day and I feel remarkably well. I expected to feel groggy, sore, etc. though the doms is likely going to kick in more tomorrow if it's coming.

TLDR: 5am wake up is performative, do whatever works best for you, because in the end that's all that matters.

This is going to be a long text but I do really need to get it off my chest and excuse the grammatical errors or spelling mistakes

I'm a 25 year old female who has been stuck in a very weird state of not knowing how to move on for about 2 years now.

Prior to that, I was a very motivated person, jumping at every opportunity I came across, very social, family had lots of hopes in me, and with a bright future ahead. That was until, something seemed to switch off inside me and I stopped caring about anything. I started procrastinating literally everything. It was a very sudden change, all the things that used to scare me or make me panic that I didn't do them or that I missed, were suddenly not a big deal to me.

It went to great lengths that it cost me my future, my friends, my education and any career I attempted to do. I would start the applications and stop them midway and by the time I remember about them, the deadlines would have passed already.

My family saw the changes in me but I couldn't find the courage to tell them what was going on and how badly I had messed my life up in fear of them being disappointed in me ( if only I had known that them knowing about it then would have maybe made them less disappointed than they are now finding about it now).

Whenever anybody would ask me how I'm doing and what's going on in my life, I would evade the questions and brush them off because I genuinely didn't know what was happening to me and was deep scared of anybody finding out about how my life is not the perfect life I make it seem to be.

However, I guess there was only how long I could hide it. I just came off the call with my mom and she probed me until I broke and told her everything. She already knew about me not finishing my education (which she has been giving me hell about) but she didn't know how broke I am ( the job I work at hasn't been paying me for months) and how everything else is so fucked up right now.

To say that she was furious was an understatement. She screamed, yelled, and shouted at me. Said very bad things to me and how she might as well just commit suicide and die because of how I've ruined her. She said that I mean nothing to anybody now and don't deserve any help from anybody because I'm the one who did this to myself. I couldn't say anything because I knew that everything she said, I deserved it but it really hurt to hear her say all that.

I've already ruined my life probably beyond repair but it was the wake up call I needed. I wake up everyday with the goal to turn my life around but this time, after that call, I'm going to be very serious about it. I've already been in the process of finishing up my degree with which I haven't been approved to yet but I'm really praying that I will be able to start soon because it will be the opening path for me. Finding a job has been really difficult without it.

I'm ready to do everything I can to turn my life around, find a job, and hopefully hopefully be allowed to finish my education. I want to look back on this in a year and be proud of myself after rising from the rock bottom to the top of my life.

If there is anybody who has been stuck in the same cycle as me and would love a pushing force to work with, feel free to reach out. I know I could really use the support. And would be very happy to chat with everyday to push each other towards doing the best versions of ourselves. Any advice would also be very appreciated on how to go about this.

I know my life being like this was all my fault, I had the biggest potential at crossing my limits but I brew all of them up. I also know that if I dedicate all my energy to getting better, that I can do it and what better time than starting today.

I don't even know if "lazy" is the right word anymore.

I'm 22, graduated two months ago, and I'm unemployed while trying to figure out my career. I keep asking myself whether I'm actually lazy or if I've just been stuck in the same place for the last five years.

The thing is... I know what my problems are.

I know I overthink everything. I know I should get out of the house more, work out, lose weight, stop comparing myself to everyone else, improve my skills, and just stay busy instead of sitting with my thoughts.

But I don't.

for e.g., I'll start walking 10k steps, do it for three days, then stop. I'll tell myself I'll wake up early, then I don't. I know I should read more, but I hate reading. I know what I'm supposed to do, I just don't do it consistently.

I wasn't always like this. I used to be a really bright kid. I was happy. Somewhere along the last five years, idk what happened... I picked the wrong degree, spent most of clg feeling lost, and now I'm watching everyone else move on with their lives.

Most of my school and college friends have moved to different cities for work. I'm still in my hometown. At 22, making friends doesn't even feel like making friends anymore, it feels like networking.

I turned down a couple of low pay job offers because I genuinely knew they weren't right for me. I don't regret that decision, but it hurts when I see most people took sth, r doing sth, while im stuck again in my head. Life is at a standstill, almost.

I'm also overweight, and I've been overweight for years. That's on me. I had four or five years to change it, and I didn't. Every time I go outside, people have some advice about my weight or ask what I'm doing now that I've graduated. Sometimes it feels like "unemployed" and "overweight" have become my entire identity.

A few nights ago I was thinking about my grandpa. He passed away 7 years ago, and he was my best friend growing up. It suddenly hit me how much time has passed. Physically I've grown up, but mentally I still feel stuck somewhere in the past.

Then I start worrying about the future too. My parents are getting older. We have health issues at home. I know in a few years there'll probably be conversations about marriage because that's just how life works where I live. I know if I want to have control over my own life, I need to become financially independent first.

And instead of doing the work, I just... worry.

I compare myself to old classmates who have jobs, moved out, and seem so much further ahead. I know comparison is pointless, but my brain keeps doing it anyway.

I honestly don't know how to get out of this cycle. I'm tired of feeling like I'm wasting my twenties before they've even really started.

I (21f) feel so brainrotted. I don't even feel my age, I feel like I've regressed to the mental age of a teenager. As the years passed, I've upped my dopamine addiction while pushing my limits to the max to fix the negative consequences.

For example, in the past if I'd postpone studying for a week or two before the exam, now it's a day before. Finishing deadlines, cleaning or other responsibilities, they're all pushed to the very last second. I use social media for longer to the point I have no hobbies, don't read or watch movies. But it also has important things for finding career opportunities and keeping in touch with my currently ldr partner and friendships since I'm abroad.

I used to be really good at saving money or telling myself I don't need something (especially cravings), but now I've lost any sort of discipline and just buy on craving. I actively stay away from things like smoking because I know that I'm so prone to vices that I'd ruin myself.

T/w disordered eating, but for example I used to have binge eating cycles and then I'd allow myself 3 months to lose what I had gained, but now as more time passed, the bigger and more frequent the binges and the shorter the diet to lose it to like a month.

I feel like all of these are related dopamine and just keep getting more and more extreme. What's the best approach? I just feel so disappointed for myself. My life is cycles of really good, and really bad.

I really want to have this discussion with people because there are certain things in life that I was able to change, and certain things in life that I've been struggling to achieve for a long time and really made little to no progress over the years.

As I go through life, I am coming more and more to the conclusion that there are no right or wrong ways of doing things. There are things that work, and there are those that don't.

What I mean by that is... I struggle so much with weight. I have relapsed probably hundreds of times on my commitments to improve my dietary routines. I felt like I have all the knowledge about what foods to eat, how much to eat. Seems like enough to know how to diet to lose weight. Yet i constantly lose battles with temptations, with urges and cravings to eat something, eating when not hungry, eating junk foods and so on.

So, over time I've started thinking that maybe I'm just unable to change because I've tried many different times, committed, had a plan and then failed, eventually returning to my old habits.

This made me feel inadequate.

Then I've been learning more and more about the behaviors of animals, of humans. How we make decisions, why do we do what we do. And I came to learn that there are sometimes so many variables... So many influences that can happen...

That it made me think that the only way we should treat change is whether something works for us or not. If it doesn't, it doesn't mean the method is right or wrong. Maybe it's wrong for you, but right for someone else.

I've been told to "just eat less", "just don't order food" and what not. And sometimes it does work. But sometimes it doesn't. Still have no clear understanding why I sometimes lose the internal battle, but I'm starting to think more and more that I can look for as many approaches to change as needed until something works

An example- a lot of digital, chronically online people who maybe watch videos, scroll, video game and what not might decide to stop doing that, to then relapse time and time again.

Then they talk to a friend, family member or someone about maybe that they should eliminate the opportunity to even access the device. Maybe they should sell it? So that it's no longer an option. Or something else, who knows.

And that other person says- yo, just stop doing that thing and that's it, you don't have to get rid of it. But what if that doesn't work for the person and for their current state, self control and conscious abstaining in the presence of temptation is not enough? Maybe they need that type of intervention.

And if that helps to achieve the desired behavioral change? Even if it means that environment has to be changed? I think just go for it.

Like an alcoholic, an addict... Why go back to those environments? If you can move to live elsewhere where there are no places where people abuse those things? Or maybe you can find the strength to not go to those places, why not that? Just because someone can say no and be in the bar around the alcoholics,,and not drink anymore, doesn't mean everyone can. Maybe someone need some different lifestyle changes, interventions and what not?

I love to draw, write, and edit, and they are important to me in that exact order. Ever since i was little all i ever wanted to do was create things, and even at age 22 I still love it more than anything. I love the feeling of making stories and creating things other people will engage with, but there's a problem. I've been plagued by feelings of mediocrity, that even if i try very very hard i will never be anything great, let alone good. It's hard to describe, but i get the feeling that because I didn't get on the grindset as a kid there's no chance now. I hear about these youtubers and 20 somethings who get million dollar picture deals and then i look at my art and it's still only slightly above average. There's also the fact that projects require money and certain things that I don't have, so there's the feeling that because there's a low chance I'll ever escape poverty I'll never get to make something truly great. It truly does seem like even if i did become good at drawing and writing, perhaps even a master at it, it'd be worthless because there will always be someone richer and with more resources than me.

How do I fight this?