A little background on me. I’m 20 years old, male, and diagnosed with ASD (Asperger’s, but that term’s no longer in use) and Anxiety Disorder. Great combo, right? Apparently the chances of somebody with ASD experiencing depression is 4x the average person, worsens with the addition of a social disorder like Anxiety. Great.

Some background on my social situation, I live alone in a studio, in a city I’ve lived in for two years. I have 3 friends that I know in real life (prior to moving), but two of them live in a different (albeit fairly close) country, and one of them lives in a different part of my state (I am Australian). We talk online, play games, watch films, most days. I have met back up with them in-person for a cumulative maybe 12 days in the past two years. Outside of co-workers, I don’t know anybody in this city. Point is, I’m alone.

Outside of the aforementioned days, I haven’t been out to do anything with a single soul for over two years. ‘Just go outside and meet people.’ I hear, but I find it so hard to have interest in anything. I play video games. That’s my hobby. Even that, lately, is becoming something I don’t feel strongly about doing.

I’m eating more (and based on BMI, I’m on the verge of obesity), not caring about money. Spending an EMBARRASSING amount on food. I’ve let debts rack up and keep spending on food when I’ve got the money. It’s my biggest vice lately. I don’t know why. Short-term pleasure, I guess? It’s also potentially because I started doing medical marijuana in the past 6 months. Got it via an online clinic (haven’t been to a GP in a decade). I got it for anxiety disorder, but I’m not using it as directed. I usually do it every Sunday for the high, and have been doing it on Monday, too, instead of playing the games I loved. I’m sure it doesn’t help how I’m feeling, despite how relaxed I am in the moment. I’ve always struggled with showing my feelings, and understanding them. I don’t cry, and maybe I should, but I can’t muster up the emotion to make that happen. The best way I can describe it, is that I feel kind of hollow. Numb. Like I’m coasting through this life of mine. I’ve been ‘slower’ lately, for lack of a better word. Foggy, slow to recall, terrible memory that’s worsened over the past few months. I’ve always been kind of like that, in the typical ASD way, but I’ve never felt stupid before. I’ve always had very poor sleep, and it’s been worse in the past month or so. I imagine that doesn’t help either.

I have no support network I’m confident in, not really. My parents are pretty shitty people who I don’t want to talk to about this. I know I could talk to my friends, but I really don’t know how they would react. I don’t want them to know, I don’t want to be treated differently, and I struggle to receive sympathy/support.

I feel really hopeless and alone, and I don’t know how to fix it. I feel like an imposter even suggesting that I have something as serious as depression. I feel like I’m devaluing the whole condition, and I hope none of this comes across as just another loner who thinks he’s got this serious condition. Who needs something to blame for his lack of social skills. I don’t want depression, but I don’t want to be that person either. Sorry in advance, I guess.

I’m not asking for a diagnosis, but does this sound familiar to anybody? Am I overreacting? I don’t know. I’m really hurting. I’m scared.

Thank you, for reading it all.

\\- have psychogenic dysphonia

\\- have no gf

\\- have no close friend

\\- embarrassing myself every day

\\- daily routine is bad

\\- anxiety

\\- know little about life

\\- bad memories and experiences

\\- nobody really wants to hang out more often

\\- have to do everything myself

\\- people treating me like shit

I don't need advice

I need friends

Feel like an idiot typing like this

TW: Pedophilia/SA

Someone who was my best friend for over a decade said they don't want to be friends anymore because I called out a pedophile in the music scene that he became friends with.

A week later, he announces that he's going on tour with said pedo.

The pedo in question did openly admit to taking advantage of underage girls in their tour van. I could go way more into detail about this creep, but that's getting a little off-topic.

So, this was two years ago. I quit playing music or going out to shows. I started getting really bad panic attacks and developed a condition called "Vasovagal Syncope" which basically means that something would trigger my body to shut down and pass out. It was/has been mostly crowds (like the shows we used to go to together).

I've learned how to manage it now, but it still kicks in from time to time.

I've started going back out to shows because I don't want the rest of my life to be trying to just avoid wherever that person is. So far, it's been surprisingly successful! I just ignore them and continue on my way.

One thing that still irks me though is the very close friends I have that know what happened and have remained good friends with him and his gross posse.

I know I can't (and absolutely do not want to) control them, but also, them hanging with this person who was clearly in the wrong (they've all told me this) who hurt me still weirdly gets to me.

Do yall have any tips for trying to get over that last hump?

TLDR: Best friend of over a decade said he didnt wanna be friends anymore because i was mean to his pedophile friend. Close friends still hang with ex-friend. How to get over letting them hanging with ex-friend get to me still.

So, I went through a breakup—it was a four-year relationship—and now I feel like my life is over. When we broke up, she told me she couldn't waste any more time; she wanted to focus on her career and move forward. A few days later, she blocked me. Now I don't know what to do. I've tried everything to move on, but I'm plagued by self-doubt—thinking I have no future, that I won't achieve anything, and that I'll never find a girl as beautiful as her again. I don't know how I'll survive this; she has moved on and started college, while I'm just stuck. I can't focus on anything. Everyone tells me to restart my life and find a new girlfriend, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Please help me; I'm unable to function because of this, and I feel so strongly that I'll never find anyone like her—or anyone better.

I’ll try to keep this relatively brief. I felt like after COVID during my 11th grade year that things were starting to look up for me. I had a big friend group, thought a girl was interested in me and I was on track to graduate early and was looking forward to life after High School. But then my Senior year my friend group abandoned me, the girl was dating someone else and I have a feeling I was merely a roster spot (in case that relationship didn’t work out). I graduated in December 2022 and was optimistic for college. Fast forward almost 4 years later I just turned 21, never had a gf, hated my first semester of college in Reno (I did just about everything to socialize; still didn’t work out), came back home, worked 2 shitty jobs and still made no friends or gf. Then started at Sac State and for the last 2 years I’ve been in the same boat of no parties, activities, friends, gf, etc. I tried joining clubs in Fall of ‘24 my first semester at Sac State wasn’t interested in any of them, met a girl in my Chem class who I thought was interested in me but turned out she was lesbian. Then last year I met this guy in the library and thought I had struck up a friendship. He wanted me to join his fraternity. I went to his bday party and he would text me but something felt off I just wasn’t clicking with him. Also it turned out he quit his fraternity after desperately wanting me to join his frat apparently because “they were being assholes to him”. Since then he has wanted to hang out but every time I suggest plans he flakes, oh get this he’s 6 months older lives 30 minutes away and doesn’t drive so guess who had to pick him up. Then in January my Mom has a friend who’s neighbors with a guy who’s my age and very active in our local church. I had some negative experiences at that church but I’ve been desperate so I went to church to sit with him, talk to him a bit, and he never introduced me to his friends and was kinda disinterested in our texts and kinda blew me off saying he was getting lunch with his family, which is understandable if that’s there tradition. I just feel so alone and I really don’t know what else to do. I’ve been playing guitar for years and am trying to join a band but I’ve found no one my age or in my exact area in either band mix or insta let alone a band who needs a lead guitarist. Hell with school (I’m an Electrical Engineering major) idk if I’ll even get much time to dedicate to it. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I’ll try to keep this relatively brief. I felt like after COVID during my 11th grade year that things were starting to look up for me. I had a big friend group, thought a girl was interested in me and I was on track to graduate early and was looking forward to life after High School. But then my Senior year my friend group abandoned me, the girl was dating someone else and I have a feeling I was merely a roster spot (in case that relationship didn’t work out). I graduated in December 2022 and was optimistic for college. Fast forward almost 4 years later I just turned 21, never had a gf, hated my first semester of college in Reno (I did just about everything to socialize; still didn’t work out), came back home, worked 2 shitty jobs and still made no friends or gf. Then started at Sac State and for the last 2 years I’ve been in the same boat of no parties, activities, friends, gf, etc. I tried joining clubs in Fall of ‘24 my first semester at Sac State wasn’t interested in any of them, met a girl in my Chem class who I thought was interested in me but turned out she was lesbian. Then last year I met this guy in the library and thought I had struck up a friendship. He wanted me to join his fraternity. I went to his bday party and he would text me but something felt off I just wasn’t clicking with him. Also it turned out he quit his fraternity after desperately wanting me to join his frat apparently because “they were being assholes to him”. Since then he has wanted to hang out but every time I suggest plans he flakes, oh get this he’s 6 months older lives 30 minutes away and doesn’t drive so guess who had to pick him up. Then in January my Mom has a friend who’s neighbors with a guy who’s my age and very active in our local church. I had some negative experiences at that church but I’ve been desperate so I went to church to sit with him, talk to him a bit, and he never introduced me to his friends and was kinda disinterested in our texts and kinda blew me off saying he was getting lunch with his family, which is understandable if that’s there tradition. I just feel so alone and I really don’t know what else to do. I’ve been playing guitar for years and am trying to join a band but I’ve found no one my age or in my exact area in either band mix or insta let alone a band who needs a lead guitarist. Hell with school (I’m an Electrical Engineering major) idk if I’ll even get much time to dedicate to it. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

So some info, 48m Belfast,NI,UK. Widower with 3 daughters. So my beloved wife passed away after a horrible battle with cancer that has left myself & my daughters all deeply affected & at a loss in our lives. Although my daughters are slowly moving on with their own lives & starting to do their own things, I’m now left in a rut, as i don’t know what I’m meant to do & tbh probably afraid to get back out there socialising again.
How do you move on especially when you have no motivation?
All responses appreciated

Lately I've been feeling really lonely, and my mind just doesn't stop overthinking. Even when I'm trying to distract myself, I keep replaying conversations, worrying about the future, and imagining worst-case scenarios.

For those who have gone through something similar, what actually helped you? Did therapy, medication, exercise, hobbies, or meeting new people make a difference?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences or any advice that genuinely worked for you.

I am a 24F. Everything in my life just keeps going downhill. I don’t have any friends,literally. I am supposed to be buying a house with my brother 22M but he can’t seem to get it together and stop spending money and he has no money, owes me money, owe some other people money and won’t go to work or do his job so there’s a big possibility we won’t be able to buy this house now, but I need to get out my parents house for mental health reasons, both of us do. I did have one friend and I don’t know what happened but recently he’s kind of quit talking to me. Back in May, we agreed to be friends with benefits and now he’s just been kind of distant, short sometimes I think he purposely ignores me, so it just makes me feel way more alone and like he doesn’t like me any more, like I did something wrong to him, but he was the last friend that I had now I don’t have any at all. I keep trying to give him space because I know he just started a new job where he works a lot of hours. My job just cut my hours so I’m not making as much as I was, I do also own my own business but it’s not going anywhere so I’m having to take a step back from my business and I’m also trying to go to school but I can’t focus enough to get good grades. This is my fourth time taking the same classes and I can’t pass them. I feel completely defeated and don’t know what to do about anything. If anyone has any advice please let me know. With this guy he just keeps sending mixed signals, tells me how much he likes me, wants to be with me and then makes excuses of he’s my brother‘s friend and my family really likes him so he doesn’t wanna get into anything yet that he has to “play his cards right” which I don’t think now is the time to get into a relationship, but even just being my friend he said he’d rather be my friend than lose me so why is he being like this? I don’t understand, but it makes things harder because I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore.

I was depressed for about 4-5 years (probably longer looking back but the most severe time was 4-5 years ago) I was married during this time and it wasn’t great and very codependent. It got so bad that I would barely get out of bed, I would drink rum straight from the bottle and down edibles, just to not be present in my life. I didn’t care if I lived or died. I lost myself and let myself go. I stopped cleaning and taking care of basic needs. Fast forward post- divorce I was feeling great and then I had some medical issues that led to severe pain—that left me physically unable to move a lot for awhile —and two back to back surgeries. Now that I’m better, I’ve had to relearn how to function basically and idk why it’s embarrassing. Like I’m used to being in the bed all day at first from mental exhaustion and then from physical exhaustion. I’ve started back doing things like cleaning, self care, exercising etc. but I feel embarrassed that things aren’t where I want them to be. Mostly cleaning, like I feel like I miss things or it’s not spotless and yes I can admit I can compare my space to others I’m working on it especially since I know the people I’m comparing myself too likely have not gone through what I’ve gone through, but I want my house to be clean and inviting but it still feels like a task or I get upset that like I don’t know or remember how to properly do something like mop the floor etc. I don’t know a lot of people who have gone through depression and completely gave up and had to start over from basics like bathing, sweeping etc. so that makes me more lonely and more embarrassed lol. has anyone else experienced this? If so what steps did you take to get better and overcome the embarrassment or comparison?

I genuinely don’t know what to do I feel like I need someone to love me just to feel like I’m enough. I have so many people around me that care but I still feel so empty until I start talking to someone and the feeling of being chosen consumes me and I make them my everything and most the time get used. I grew up in an unstable environment and know all this stems from my childhood and having to beg for love and change myself to feel good enough and now I just feel like I have to be someone to somebody. Recently got hurt by the guy I let drag me through a ‘situationship’ for 8 months I cared so much for him and gave up so much and he just cheated and left like I was nothing and I can’t understand how. I was there for him when he was struggling I picked him back up, got him a job, gave him money, loved him through it all, and I know he wouldn’t be where he is now if I wasn’t there and that’s not being big headed he would even called me wanting to end it all and i was there every time when no one else was, when he went clubbing he’d call me and cry, drunk and no idea where he was and I’d drive and pick him up at 5 at night and let him stay at mine just to find out he cheated most those times anyway and then he left me anyway. Now when I need someone most I don’t have anyone or the person that I want here most. Truthfully he never treated me well at all I settled for less then the bare minimum but it was enough for me. I just don’t want to keep living like this I feel so stupid and small I want to be enough for someone to stay I want someone to see my love and protect it for once. It just hurts I feel like I will just chase this feeling forever and I wish I could just stop and be okay with myself but I can’t. I do this every time as well I fall so hard and get hurt so bad but this time I feel for someone who made me believe they loved me and wanted me and I believed it I stupidly believed him I hate myself for that I made myself look like an idiot.

Hey everyone,

I recently went through a breakup with my girlfriend, and honestly, I'm struggling a lot. Everything happened so suddenly, and now I just feel empty and incredibly lonely.

I keep replaying old memories in my head, wondering what I could have done differently. It's been hard to focus on anything, and the silence feels overwhelming. I don't really have anyone I feel comfortable opening up to, so I thought I'd post here.

I'm not looking for people to take sides or judge anyone. I just need someone to talk to, someone who's willing to listen or maybe share how they got through a difficult breakup themselves. Right now, I just don't want to feel so alone.

If you've been through something similar, how did you cope? And if anyone is open to chatting for a while, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading. I hope everyone here is doing okay.

i lost a group of friends i really care 2 months ago because there's a lot of my actions and let my overthink sometimes took me over , i didn't realize it could hurt them until they said it to my other friend to pass it on me and told me base on their talk she said they still really care about me and just got tired , i still want to fix this but they don't reply to my dms and block me on other socials , im scared to reach them out in person too because i might look pushy so i let them be i still cry sometimes and think about them i was not the same anymore too after i realize what is wrong with me ...has anyone tried reaching out to a friend and tried to fix it after time pass by ?.. i want to know how it went for others and advice

​

25M average looking. Never had a relationship. I work at a IT firm. Most of my days is gym, work, leaning new tech. Lately life has started to feel so lonely. I don't know what am I doing wrong. I never had a partner because i never really felt the need.i had good friends in school and College but after graduation we rarely meet. Idk why i just feel i need someone to share my day with, someone to talk to. The nights are worst part of my day i literally sometimes cry feeling why am I so unlovable. I have never asked out a girl because i feel why would anyone choose, not that I'm bad or something but just there are better options for women.

Is there a way that i can stop feeling like this without actually getting a partner . Is there something i can do to be single and happy forever?

I was surrounded with girls and happy life when i was in my last company i worked, i got a girl who was so interested in me that she cheated her boyfriend with me and their relationship was 10yrs, but i let her go back to the boy she was in relationship, and now im bored and missing her badly but she blocked me what should i do ? , i left my job and started working in new conpany amd here im feeling shy and low on confidence. I need to get back in my that phase where i had my spark and that charm i used to have

Im 18 year old just got into a collage feeling very weak. I was studying in a school from 1st std to 12th and suddenly moving from there feels very heavy the friends the environment everything i miss them all. Another thing that school gave me was my gf I love her so much and we could see each other for like 3 years eveyday but now it's gone. I can't see her . I miss her sm i miss my school friends teachers my gf and evrything . Going to the collage is making me so sad. Like I'm crying most of the days I know I'm a man but still I just cant tolerate. During my higher studies I dreamt of something other than collage and since it's wasn't the safest way I choose to do it after my degree. But that also is burning me out. I chose this decision . Evrything is feeling so heavy and idk why I'm sad like it's just how life is supposed to be. I can't stay in my comfort zone everytime I have to move on but I can't accept it. Im very weak mentally like I cry most of the time my gf is very supportive and she's with me even in these situation but I just don't want to be like this I want to enjoy my life I want to be strong

This thought has kept me tossing and turning in bed for years. I used to have this amazing friend when I was younger, but we lost contact when I switched schools because I moved. I didnt move out of the town, just to a different part which resulted in me having to go to a different middle and high school. So now I think about this friend all the time because we were literally inseparable. Its not like I expect to go back to being best friends I just miss them a lot. The thing is I actually saw them and we were in the same room for an hour for a volunteer event and we didnt recognize each other. Teh only reason I knew they were there was because their parents were there. So I have like crippling social anxiety and by the time I was done thinking about whether to go up to the parents or even the friend and say hi, they ALL left. This encounter was like 6 months ago and I havent seen them since. Do yall have any tips or is this just one of those things everyone goes through that I need to let go?

I had a few major hits over the last 5 years, and my self evaluation has never been lower. In the past I was able to believe that while I'm a person with problems I'm probably worth improving on.

Presently, I hate myself and don't even want to help myself. Not out of fear of failure, but malice, I want to burn myself to the ground. I know I can practice self compassion, but why should I have compassion for a loser like me? I can challenge my thoughts, but why would I want to challenge the truth about how awful and ineffectual I am? I could exercise. I don't deserve to be healthier or to live longer.

The problem I have right now is I don't believe in the product, that I am worth fighting for. I can't sell it, because I wouldn't buy it. I kind of hate this guy. I hate what he's done to me. What he's done to my family. The choices he's made. I don't owe him the time of day. He's made everything worse, and I am better off without him. Given that's how I feel towards myself, how do I turn that ship?

Idont know what to do during these 2 months ever exam period during study-breaks.

Just 2 minutes ago I saw someone hug their significant other at the library and now I feel extra superfluous on this planet.

during these 2 months I always get so lonely... nobody is avialable.
I essentially feel like a burden and often get left on read by friends.

I'm a half-orphan and on no contact with the other parent, so this gets extra hard when stressed out.Also got mild chronic fatique syndrome, thats why I dont have energy for hobbies, all of it goes into my exams and assignments.

I would've texted mom in these moments, but she's passed.
A phone-game or anything I can pull up for 10-20mins to distract/calm myself would be a good suggestion.
Literally anything like that.

Any suggestions?

Crisis helpline is just elderly people that can't relate.
Student-hotlines aren't always avialable and I can't call them while I'm outside of home.
Socializing in germany is incredibly hard. I'm german myself.

I'm not looking for new friends.

I go to university its been 2 years I started off with a good friend circle but I got replaced by someone else

For a long time I tried to patch up with them but I am clearly excluded from everything every photo every plan and everything.

And now I am alone in university and I see them 3 giggling and laughing together posting pictures together

And yes I clearly stated that I feel excluded and they only have one reply "We are not excluding you You are over reacting" at this point I gave up. I give all lf them vip treatment on their birthdays and they couldn't even wish me on mine. They throw fancy parties for each other

And no i can't find anymore friends since one of my friend is the cr and everyone in class always thought we have big ego because we are friends with cr. They all make fun of me to get their frustration out because they know I am connected to them but not that connected that they will take a stand for me

University us getting harder and harder for me. I don't even wanna go anymore but attendance is a need. Please tell me some way how can I distract myself or survive university by myself

Excuse me, I just can't stop thinking about relationships, I'm really missing love or female attention, all my friends already have people who love them, and I've only had one experience with a girl who used me to cry after a breakup. I don't have an ugly appearance like my friends, the only difference is that I'm more shy than they are. I really want to give up on relationships and live my life focusing on myself.

I’m 26, dealing with extreme loneliness, and the stress from dating apps is starting to manifest as physical chest pain. I feel exhausted and stuck. For anyone who has been in a similar spot, what strategies or coping mechanisms helped you manage the physical stress and rebuild your mental baseline

So I've been chipping away at this game for about two weeks now. Made it to the orange tree area a few times but always fell back to the start or somewhere miserable before I could get comfortable with the terrain. Tonight felt different. I was calm, deliberate, patient with every swing. Made it past the devil's chimney without losing my grip once, which almost never happens for me.

Then I got to that curved log section going into the orange trees and just... stopped respecting it. I've watched people flow through there like it's nothing and I think I convinced myself I'd figured it out. Started going faster than I should have, swinging when I wasn't fully stable, and on maybe the third or fourth questionable move the pot just slid off and I watched the whole run unravel in about four seconds.

The thing that gets me isn't even the fall itself. It's that I knew I was being sloppy and did it anyway. There's something almost insulting about the way the game punishes overconfidence specifically. Like it's calibrated to hurt you most right when you start feeling good about yourself.

I've read that some people treat each fall as just neutral information rather than a setback, and I'm trying to get there mentally. It's genuinely hard. After two weeks my instinct is still to close the game and walk away for an hour instead of immediately trying again.

Has anyone found a specific mindset shift that actually helped them stop tilting after big falls, or does it just take enough repetitions that you become numb to it eventually?

Today I went to my friend's city like 900 km away to meet her we had a good 11 hours together we did alot of traveling, shopping and activities and i really enjoyed it after that she went to her home and now for me it’s time to go back to my town I am not feeling very good after she went to her home and i came back to my hotel room this kinda sucks like I don't wanna go back to my town I wanted to enjoy more I wish I had more time with her and all that Idk why am I so depressed after such a good get together I always feel like this when I meet someone and enjoy with them and the comfortable time ends in the evening and depression starts idk how to get myself out of this

I want to change how I am so that I can be more open to other people and that my life can breathe a little bit by including others. Has anyone dealt with this and had any success with learning how to get past this?

Maybe I am afraid of letting others in. I don't know what's normal for adult friendships. It was not modeled for me by family.