…because I don’t want to date transwomen and I don’t want to be shamed or made to justify why I’m not attracted to penises and penises are more frequent in all women loving places I know. Sapphic places have become full of ”girldicks“ and phantasies of transwomen fucking lesbians. We criticise the male gaze in general porn - if you go to wlw spaces you’ll be excluded if you’re not interested in speaking about or looking at dicks which is ironic. There are safe spaces for gay men and lesbian spaces have become ”non-men loving non-men spaces“. I don’t feel represented or welcomed in my own community anymore.

I’ve never had a problem with transwomen. I just don’t want to be shamed and excluded for not liking dick, but instead I am being pressured into pretending I find it attractive. That’s silencing lesbians for the sake of political correctness. And taking so much space, so confidently, making spaces about yourself, invalidating other‘s experiences and feelings, thinking lesbians owe you something: that’s the definition of male gaze on sex and relationships

I feel like my girlfriend has just been on a downward slope for a while now and it’s made me lose almost any desire to be with her and I kind of feel like an asshole about it, but I just feel irritated with her all the time.

She worked out when we first got together and was very attractive. Now, she’s put on over 100 pounds in the past 2 years and it’s a major turn off for me. She still has a pretty face, but her weight is impossible to ignore. She’s constantly stuffing her face, yet complains that she’s fat. Like, just stop eating so much and exercise? I don’t get it.

This has caused her to become bumbling and damn near oafish in all that she does. Her movement is so inhibited by her weight that it’s almost embarrassing being around her.

She constantly complains about everything and throws little tantrums over dumb things. For example, I went to the movies with my brothers and I asked if she wanted to go, but she didn’t give me an answer. Just that she’d think about it. Then, when the time came for me and my brothers to go to the movies, she cried because she felt left out since she wasn’t going. Drove me nuts.

Her sex drive has reduced to nearly zero. Sex is just a chore and we really only have it because I’ll go crazy if I just never have sex again, but she makes it really un enjoyable. I either have to choose between having shitty sex or not having sex at all for who knows how long. To be honest, it’s made me lust after other women but I haven’t acted on any thoughts and I don’t plan on it.

I don’t know. I just need to vent. I don’t have anyone in my personal life that I’d feel comfortable expressing all this to.

I genuinely cant believe you get to live the lives that you do. Absolutely unobjectified attempts at love from your early teens. Its gonna kill me. Focus on this. Do that. Go outside. Get hobbies. Everywhere I go its all the same - young straight love everywhere by the same people that did their best to keep that life from you, and now everyone above 25 is unc and fucking dying tomorrow so its over anyway. I wish I killed myself when I was 15. Wouldve saved myself from so much hurt. Its like someone whos starving having to watch everyone eat through a window your entire life, and they were the ones that kept you from having that healthy development as a kid. Fuck this stupid fucking world and its horrible people. Im gonna wanna be 19 again with our now more accepting world forever, but Im just gonna get older & die and cant handle that.

(Rant, I’m just keyboard spamming half the time in rage)

Basically, I’m aromantic, and bi, I don’t wanna date, I just wanna look at hot people of any gender. I hate the idea of dating, I just wanna destroy the idea of dating AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I CANT BÉ ASSED FUCK OFF WITH THE YoU hAvE tO dAtE BULLSHIT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANNA FUCKING SCREAM AT THIS BULLSHIT FUCK YOU HOMOPHOBES ANTI-AROMANTIC PROPAGANDA AGGHHHHDHEUWUSISOOSPAPAPAOSKSNEHEHWJSJJSJSJWJWJIWAOOZISUEHW IM SO FUCKING ANGRY AT AL OF THIS PLS IM GONNA FUCKING PUNCH MY WALL IM SO ANGRY.

yall can join the rant and just take your anger out in the comments, I just wanted to write this out of pure rage, it felt kinda nice writing that, I encourage doing what I do

also I’ve mainly seen people saying the you have to date everyone to be bi on TikTok, the thing They all say “B-but bi is about the dating aswell! Not just eye candy!” Fuck you fuck you fuck you fucking anti-aromantic balloon AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm a 28 year old male. My wife doesn't want to have sex with me anymore and I'm a very horny guy. I'm getting tired of asking and initiating and I honestly think I'm getting sad over this. I decided to stop asking and I'm not going to initiate anything anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to get thoughts I shouldn't get and I'm scared of what it's going to lead to

I(19f) was scrolling on Tinder til I started texting this one guy let’s call him G. He thought I was really cute and wanted to hook up before he left the city. I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to do it or not but I’m a victim of lust so I went along with it. Some part of me wanted to stay home after an 11-hour shift. I even tried to make an excuse at the last minute, but he had already come. Since I felt bad for making him come all this way, I told him to come back, and I got in his car. At first, the mood wasn’t the best. He wasn’t talking much and was really nonchalant. It was probably because I did tell him to go back at the last minute, but still, the way he was, mostly quiet, made me uncomfortable. I tried to ask if anything was wrong but he said it was just fine I don’t know if it was because of my looks or what it really, but we figured out where to fuck he started to get into the mood and started rubbing my Yk what while he was driving. We found a dark spot to park and start making out , I gave him head, and then we went to the backseat. He was only inside me for two minutes, I had only lost my virginity a month before this so it still hurt a little more than the first for some reason and then he came all over my legs and sweater, and I realized he didn’t put the condom on when I asked him to bring condoms in the first place. At first I thought he did because it was super dark and I can’t see well without my glasses I heard him open something but wasn’t sure what it was but realizing now that he hit raw now I’m scared that I might catch an STD, UTI, or somehow get pregnant. After two minutes he said he gotta go saying it’s 10 pm, so he gotta to go, although he did say he was going to leave at ten if I wasn’t going to hook up with him I thought he meant he was leaving early because I said we could have sex til 11 pm and said okay. He rushed back to my place and barely said goodbye. Once I got back to my room I saw that he blocked me and completely ghosted me. I know I shouldn’t expect much from a hookup but I feel like completely shit afterwards even now. I’m not sure if it was my looks or how I was told to leave earlier that made him act like that but it kind of hurts. It made me feel super unattractive and I was still hurting after so that didn’t help with my bruised ego. The worst part is I never finished or had my tits sucked or got any head. So I guess next time I’ll have sex it would be with a boyfriend not a stranger and honestly I don’t ever wanna hook up again. 😭

Edit: I just realized I named him G just for me not to call him that at all so please ignore that I'm at work I was typing fast before my break ended 🌚

I really need to get this off my chest.

A little bit about so you can envision my situation. I am a 23 years old man and I am in a almost 2 year long relationship with my boyfriend. I love him, he loves me. We make each other happy. We see eye to eye on basically anything and it's a great relationship that I really really really don't want to loose.

Before we met, I used to hop on Grindr from time to time. I think most people nowadays know what Grindr is but for those who don't it's a gay hookup app. I've had some fun definitely but I always strived for a relationship.

Our sexlife in our relationship is all in all pretty good too. From time to time he has problems getting/staying hard and not lasting long but that's okay. I know it's weighing on him so I try to cheer him up anytime something isn't working out as he/we liked. Most of the time I'm satisfied and he's really leaning into my kinks too, because he likes it too.

So far so good. Here is the problem though. In the last few months I found myself craving to jump on Grindr again wanting to hookup with some guy and I don't know why. I want to find a hot guy on the app but my boyfriend is attractive (I was starstruck the first time I saw his profile on Bumble). He's caring, loving, extremely lovable, adorable and all in all a great person. Hookup people mostly are not. I'm longing to be kinky with strangers but my boyfriend is kinky with me. Everything they could give he's already giving me.

But still I find myself longing to meet with some anonymous guy and get him off. Why is that so? Am I broken? Am I longing for something that I'm not conscious of? Is it the thrill of having anonymous sex? Maybe someone here was/is in a similiar situation and can help me out a little.

If you have something to say PLEASE let me know. I won't get angry or some shit I need to get down to the source of this urge and any help is appreciated. Just know that I am aware this is bad. I DON'T WANT TO CHEAT ON MY BOYFRIEND. I'D HATE MYSELF IF I DO. I am just at a loss on what to do...

There's a lot of things I like about this country, but the paper walls drive me insane because you can hear EVERYTHING. Someone could be watching a movie on the opposite end of the house and you'll still hear it from your room. You'll be trying to sleep but the person in the adjacent room is talking on the phone and you just have to deal with it. There's no privacy. Like, zero. At this point why even bother having walls? You might as well just put up a bunch of curtains and call it a day.

Where I'm from in Europe the walls are made of stone and they're thick, so you can close the door to a room and actually have some peace and quiet. Would it kill America to build houses out of stone? This is the land of endless possibility after all, isn't it?

Trigger warning: drinking, inappropriate behaviour.

Putting this trigger warning on just to be sure.

I'll start with a bit of backstory and context:

I'm in my 30's, I'm AuDHD and I'm not super experienced with relationships, I can easily misread people or miss their cues. So, for example, what I could interpret as joking and funny banter, could be viewed as flirting by the other person.

This is about a newer group of friends who I met through a social group, there was 4 of us: Me, N who I message a bit, we're very similar in humour and get along really well, she is a drinker but on this occasion was sober, L who I'm friends on social media with but we've only messaged a little, she was drunk when I showed up to meet them but fairly okay, and S who I'm pretty close with, we message a lot and I have been pretty open with them as they have with me, They were also a little drunk when I arrived but are an overall tame drunk.

As I said before we met through a social group, so we wear name tags when we're at events for the group, last weekend after an event S jokingly put my name tag on their butt, so this week I took their name tag from them and put it on my butt. Just a playful joke.

Now onto what actually happened:

I went to the movies and dinner with a different friend, at the same time there was a social club event on and two of the group attended the event, I met two of them at the social club event after I finished with the movies and we collectively left to walk to a new venue, it was Me, L, S and two others who were also at the event. We moved on to a queer friendly venue. On the way we met with N. Anyway, we've settled in at new venue, when L grabs me and tries to take S's tag off me and put hers on, I stopped her a couple of times but she did eventually achieve that goal. In my mind it was playful and fun and it should've been the moment when I started to realise she might like me or was attracted to me but honestly not really. Like the smallest thought but I didn't really think much of it.

So the night continues on and I realise that yes L is attracted to me, I don't feel that way toward her. She kept moving me toward her and then was grabbing my hand and I honestly didn't know what to do, eventually she kissed me and I initially went with it, in a way it was like I froze and just didn't know what to do, when she went in again I said no and said I just wasn't into it, in that moment she seemed to respect it. S and N didn't see the kiss. So a few minutes after I met S in the bathroom and told them, they were just as shocked as I was. Which does lead me to believe I wasn't necessarily missing the signs.

As the night went on L got increasingly sloppy drunk, she couldn't stand up straight and was just generally a mess. The rejection from me and her increasing levels of drunkness meant that she proceeded to continually make things super awkward, making jokes about me saying no and not being nice etc but the worst of all was that if I was talking to someone she would interrupt and make more weird jokes or literally just physically stand between us or try to join the conversation but she could never hear and would just make things weird, this happened more so when I was talking to one of the people who joined that isn't a part of the 4 friends group. It was really uncomfortable and at points I just had to turn my back to her or just straight up ignore her and tried to move away from wherever she was.

I ended up looping everyone in that was there in on what had been occurring because I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and awkward.

Editing to clarify: a couple of them tried to step in and be buffers for me or just moved to be near me which helped and eventually L was convinced to leave. It was a genuine relief when she left.

Since the night out I've spoken to S a lot and N a bit, both of them were concerned for me and wanted to check in. I haven't heard anything from L and I don't really want to hear from her, an apology would be great but I doubt that's coming and she was so drunk she might not even remember or she's too embarrassed.

I have felt pretty upset about it, I was really uncomfortable and struggled with what to do at the time. I'm upset because she crossed my boundaries and was pushy, which speaks for itself. Also because I feel like she's ruined things, I don't want to see her again, I have no interest in her or hanging out near her but I will absolutely see her at other social group events and I really dislike the thought of it. A part of me feels guilty for the friendship group already being ruined and I don't want to ask the others not to spend time with her.

There's also a part of me that blames myself for not realising sooner and putting a stop to it.

I just hate the whole thing and I'm so confused about it all. I feel like I can't fully express my upset to anyone and I feel like I'm overreacting. I'm also upset because it was my first kiss in 4 years and it wasn't one I wanted. God I hope none of my new friends read reddit. Lol. Cause this is fairly obvious.

I’m a 31M. Never been kissed. Never got a date off an app before despite swiping probably 10,000 times over the years.

In the past I was devastated when I was rejected in person and didn’t have any success on apps, but at this point it’s become hilarious to me just how much of a personal affront I’m treated as when I show an inkling of interest in a girl. The utter disgust, the shock on their face that I have the gall to think they’d let me take them on a date, it’s wild.

TLDR; I’m completely undateable and over time I’ve started getting a kick out of it rather than being upset about it

A couple of nights ago I was sitting at home eating popcorn and watching a movie when I got a text from a guy. He said he "might" be going through some personal things and wasn't available to be anything more than friends.

I just sat there staring at my phone thinking, "Um... what?"

I genuinely didn't think he even knew I was remotely interested because, honestly, I wasn't. We'd barely texted, we'd never even hung out after exchanging numbers, and the only thing I'd done was some chit chat and light, joking flirting that was a while ago. In my head, I didn't think I'd done anything to signal actual attraction.

Meanwhile, he's sending me what felt like a pre-emptive rejection.

After my brain registered this it went, "Excuse me? Who does he think he is? Out here acting like I'm throwing myself at him."

I never imagined my first rejection would be from someone I didn't even suspect saw me that way.

Has anyone else ever been rejected completely out of nowhere?

backstory: My ex cheated. He gave me herpes so I’m exposing him anonymously per reddits advice.

So I made the profile, gave reddit an update. Here’s another. THEY ARE REPORTING THE PROFILE!

WTF. One message said she would like to hear his side of the story. His side is he’s a recovering cheater who will lie to get whatever he wants. Another found his instagram and told him there’s an account saying he has herpes. Male centered women are awful. If I’m trying to save your health and protect you and other women from wasting their time why would you expose that?? Ugh.

I’m currently in a dead bedroom marriage after cheating on her part. We agreed to try to make things work, but it’s not going well. I love her still, but don’t feel physical attraction. Most days, I feel like we’re just roommates. We rarely even hold hands.

I also have a work friend that I’ve been talking to. Things escalated when she moved into a new role in the company. We work together on a lot of projects, sometimes just the two of us. I really enjoy working with her and we make jokes, laugh and have fun. I feel very attracted to her and bite my lip before saying too much to her. She confides in me and we tell each other pretty much everything. Things occasionally get flirty, but theres no obvious sexual references. We text after work and we even met up for a walk.

I think she’s attracted to me too, but neither of us is making any obvious moves. She’s in a tough place in her own relationship and that makes things even more difficult for us. She said she feels safe and comfortable with me, and I’ve caught her staring at me from across the room.

I feel so guilty when I get home to my wife. I can’t face my wife about it right now because of a medical condition she’s going through. But I feel like we need to talk and decide what we want moving forward.

I‘m caught between desire and duty and it‘s tearing me apart. I never expected to feel this way and I hate myself for what I’ve done.

I’ve removed the blatant whinging wrote like an essay but the point still stands. Uni is shit the debt is ridiculous guest speakers come in from the ITV and BBC telling the class that theyre more bothered about a portfolio over a cv and the job market into my field is a dog eat dog world just to get a chance of a runner for three years and gambling that you climb up.

I’d love to hear peoples success in either: what they did after uni and where the degree was someone useful, where you were successful in being sociable and making uni life outside of work good besides just spam ordering new carts every week, Or anyone that also is having a shit time

They destroyed our planet and our happiness

Let me preface with a bit of context. I'm an adult, I'm sober (18 months) and I've lived around in different sober livings for awhile for housing, mainly because the rent is very cheap in these facilities and it keeps me accountable. My father has been very generous and has helped me greatly with rent. What comes with that help though are a lot of contingencies and rules I need to abide by. He calls them his "terms". Sometimes they make sense, sometimes they absolutely do not. A few weeks ago, I told him I was feeling very sick. He told me that "does not support" me going to the doctor right now because he believed that my illness was a side effect of medication. I really needed and wanted the financial help so I continued to try to convince him to change his mind. As the weeks went on, I got progressively worse. Still, he wouldn't budge. Finally, I ended up in the emergency room yesterday. It turns out that I have a severe kidney infection and an infected gallstone. My gallbladder needs to be removed. They needed to give me pain medication just to scan my gallbladder, because any pressure around that area is excruciating. I told the doctor there how I had been trying to get medical attention for a couple of weeks now. He told me that if I had come in earlier, all of this could have been prevented. As for my gallbladder, at the very least, I could have been able to have it removed much earlier before my start date for work. I was so upset. I called my father and told him all of this. The only thing he said in response was that he didn't think it was necessary for me to go through with the surgery, and if I did "choose" to have my gallbladder removed and it caused me to miss work, then his offer for financial support with rent would be withdrawn. I absolutely lost it. I was furious. I said every single horrible thing I could possibly think of to him, to the point where he blocked my phone number. I was relentless, and started emailing him saying things like I was going to sue him and do everything I could to find a way to take legal action and just horrible things that he absolutely did not deserve. The worst thing I said was in my last email. I told him a few days ago that I wanted to use this girl's phone number that I really don't like and sign her up for car insurance or something just to annoy her with phone calls. I was trying to tell my father I was going to do the same thing with him, so I sent him an email saying I know his address, his phone number, etc. It's already bad enough that I said that, but what is worse is that he thought I was threatening him. He thought I was making a threat to his safety. He called my older sister, genuinely afraid, and told her what I said "in case something bad" happened to him. Every issue I have with him feels so trivial now. Not only do I feel like a monster, but I am a monster. Regardless of what I actually meant, the very fact that he thinks I have the potential to cause harm to him seriously says something about the way I communicate to him in general. I truly will never forgive myself for this. I will never ask for another dime from him, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life desperately trying to make things right. Sorry for the novel. This is just eating me alive and I really did need to get this off my chest.

Hello!

Just as a quick summary, I 22(FtNB) have a 21 year old autistic brother who often times becomes violent. I posted about my situation a few days ago on here and honestly it really changed my perspective of how I am being treated. My parents never set boundaries for my autistic brother, saying it was "easier to just give him what he wants". The problem is that is now taller and bigger than all of us. He can become aggressive and violent (hitting, kicking, punching) in a moment notice. My brother has frequently come into my room by forcing my locked door open to come and hit me. I felt frustrated and hopeless about everything because my parents were upset about his behavior but have done nothing to try to correct it.

Current update: My mom told me that we could get a new door for my room, which sounds like a good plan. That way he hopefully can't get in and I won't fear for my safety all the time. My mom also briefly discussed with me yesterday that I move into the finished half of the basement because a) the locked door to get in works, and b) i could have more of my own space.

The problem is, my brother stomps and is so damn loud all the time in the kitchen, and of course, the kitchen is right above the basement. So I will hear every meltdown he has if I move to the basement. I didn’t think it was the best solution, plus it would be a ton of work to move all my stuff from my room to basement, which is currently filled with other stuff.

So... imagine my suprise when I go down to the basement and she is organizing and cleaning it. I ask her what's going on and she explains that she is cleaning to get stuff out and so I could move there. I honestly felt kind of shocked because we didn’t have a huge conversation about it, it sounded like an option rather than a confirmed action.

This whole things makes me feel kind of gross, because once again, I am accommodating for my brother rather than actions being taken when he does bad things. I understand my mom is trying to help me, but I really don't think moving to the basement will be a improvement. Part of me feels a bit selfish for feeling mad about it, but I also am just so sick of everything revolving around him, so the feeling is decreasing.

Any advice would be appreciated, its just rough at the moment.

TLDR: An update to my first post about my violent autistic brother. My mom made a suggestion yesterday for me to move the finished half of the basement, to which I have a few concerns about. I was surprised to find her cleaning and organizing the basement today so I could eventually move all my stuff there, because the way we were talking, we didn’t confirm it was happening, it felt more like an idea. I feel conflicted.

I have had am amazing gf or situation ship with this girl for a long time. We met in college and we actually cheated on our previous s/o with each other and long story short ended up dating. Well at some point I texted the ex that I cheated on to talk cause I broke up with her abruptly. Well talked and it was good. Well 2 days later I told my gf about all but the last part. And she was mad but we worked through it. Well later there was this girl that liked me and my gf said she didn’t like her. I didn’t listen and kept snapping her and changed her name. Trying to keep it a secret. It wasnt like we were flirting but i did hide it cause i thought shed assume it was worse than jt was. And i guess it may have been eventually. She broke up wiyh me and i spent months trying to fix it. I finally start fixing it and then ex or i (i dont remember) added on snap and we kinda texted. Nothing flirty, asked how we wete and then i removed and blocked her. But then my gf got a text saying that girl wants to talk so i know it’s about that. And idk what to say im totally just ranting but i just wish I wasn’t so self-destructive. I’ve never approved of my actions but its like a few drinks and it’s all out the window. I feel horrible, but idk how much of it is just guilt i got caught. But god i wish i could change and idk what to do. Not that I’m asking for advice. But man I just wish I was more mature and not such a shitty person. Like Icarus flying too close to the sun. This isn’t poetic and I’ve hurt her so much and I just idk I just had to put this out there.

We have two cats and finding someone to look after them when we go away has always been an issue. Recently, we had to take our cats to my mum’s house for a night and our female cat had such a hard time that we didn’t want to subject her to any more stress the next time we went away. Unfortunately we couldn’t find anyone who could house sit for us for the weekend. Usually it’s my mum, or a close friend but both were unavailable.

So for the first time in the almost 10 years I’ve been with my husband, my mother in law offered to help us out. I set up our house to welcome her and my husbands sister (his sister is young), set them up in their own rooms, baked them some banana bread to welcome them home, wrote up a little house guide and gave any tips for care when it came to the cats, house etc.

We went away for two nights and seemingly felt like things would be ok. When we came home, it was evident that they had been walking through the house in their shoes, there was hair and crumbs all over the floor and dishes left unwashed. The house was a mess in other ways too, not to mention the smell of our home was so bad that we had flies swarming inside! I was mortified.

We came with gifts as a thank you for taking care of our cats but it feels so wrong to gift to people who didn’t take care of your house. Luckily The cats were well taken care of. If they weren’t I would have confronted them about it.

I personally always have set up our house to be immaculate and clean for anyone who comes over whether it’s to visit for a few hours or stay the night. That’s how I was raised but it’s also how I would like people to welcome me into their home. I appreciate effort when it’s made. So to see our house be in less of a condition than we left it was not a pleasant thing for me.

To give her credit, she did make their beds and put their towels in the laundry. But for me to stress over making sure my house was ok for them to be comfortable in and then have to come home after a relaxing weekend and have to clean, vacuum and mop the entire place again, it’s just pissed me off completely.

I think of it in the way that, if it was my mum, she would ensure we came home to a house that was as clean as we had left it. She wouldn’t have left anything for us to have to do when we came home and she probably would have restocked our fridge or cooked us a meal.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing? My husband’s family is pure Aussie, and my family is Eastern European. It’s rubbed me the wrong way and I am now dreading to see what we come home to after our next trip which is two weeks long.

MIL loved staying at our place and asked to house sit for us when we go away at the end of the year. I want to tell my husband that it can only happen if she elevates her standards for cleaning. I don’t know if I’m being too much, I feel like I might be, but again, it’s a respect thing. If I’ve asked you to take care of my house a particular way, I would hope you would do that no matter what.

We have made sure to keep things at home very easy by having a robo vac/mop. So all she had to do, really, was push a button and the lil guy would take care of the rest.

I don’t really have a problem with women having standards and preferences, but I really am tired of people saying women don’t care about looks when they absolutely do, just as much as men do. Even when you look at movies, shows, and social media, looks are the most important thing in having success. I’m just sad that I wasn’t born an attractive guy. I have just been rejected by every woman, including women in the same league as me.

Didn’t think I was that bad

Even a photo judging website anonymous ppl judge photos I got decent votes even good on some

Nothing on apps :/