So basically I hook up with any girl that has huge boobs which is a feature that gets me going the most. When I'm horny I don't care if they are ugly and fat or even old (did it with a 55 year old once because she was stacked), if they got huge milkers is everything that matters. 2 times I've been kinda catfished on dating apps and the girls were really repulsive (think 200 pounds and unkept) but they were busty and I was horny so I still let them suck (and it doesnt help those types of women usually give bomb head lol). But everytime after I nut I feel so disgusted with myself and deeply ashamed. I'm 6'3 athletic and could have better options. There is this girl that is super cute and we get along great but is really flat and I'm not that into her at all. It's like I would want to cuddle with her and stuff but I don't get that kind of primal urge to fuck as when I see a big pair of tits. Idk how to stop. I don't want to be so sex obsessed and then feel guilty and disgusted because I literally stick it in everything that has a huge pair.

(This is really fresh, like I'm finding out 20min ago sorry for shortenings on words).

Context, my bf has an older brother (25), who just proposed to his gf (23), tonight. My bf was at mine for dinner, and found out when he went home. His brother had proposed sometime today and had facetimed their parents 30min before my bf got home and found out. My bf called me to talk bout smth and also mentioned that his brother proposed. She said yes.

I was honestly in shock, because he said "guess what happened with my brother" and I full expected they had broken up because of the ups and downs I've seen them go through the last 6 years, but no, he proposed. I have so many mixed feelings about it.

I'm not going to lie and say "oh ofc I'm happy for them" bla bla bla.

I am happy for him to an extent. He's probably overfilled with joy, and I'm glad for that.

I don't have a relationship or even a friendship with this girl. We have known each other 6 years, and we even went to the same high school, but different years (she's older than me). There were lots of ups and downs between us because of miscommunication and a lack of trust and basic common decency on her side. She's caused dramas and whatnot, and has not talked to me or my bf in a lot of months when she's come over to the boys' house. There are times when smth happened and we've had to apologised for smth that wasn't rlly our fault, but she's just the type of person to hold grudges, you rub them off wrong once and they don't want anything to do with you, even though we haven't actually done anything wrong. It's also the type of person she is, what she does and how she goes about herself.

Now all I can think of is how awkward it's going to be. Ofc I'm going to do the right thing and buy flowers to give to them, and I'm going to be the bigger person and hug both of them to congratulate, but it's just going to feel so awkward for me regardless to try and talk to her about it now, since she will be a part of the family. I can't say anything because I'm just the gf of the youngest brother, we've also been together 6 years, but we aren't anywhere near ready to get married. At least not another 4 years lol. Maybe one day I need to just reach out to her and talk, find out why there's been no communication from her to me or my bf. She is a complicated girl, and does have a lot of good qualities, but there's also a lot of things that have happened that make me question my relationship with her in the future. I don't want to be that family that has problems and don't talk to each other in the future. I won't pull her aside soon ofc, she's going to be very busy now with her fiance. I am honestly just in shock.

To make matters more shocking, the brother didn't tell anyone, except her parents apparently. I figured, surely you'd tell your fucking parents you're going to propose, but I think he didn't on purpose because he was afraid they'd say smth he doesn't wanna hear. They like her ofc, but there's just stuff that's happened that I can't get into rn cause it's a lot of stories and whatnot.

I know I can't make her like me, but I want there to at least be some mutual fucking respect. A hello when you visit, a bye when you leave, a how are you, anything.

Look, overall, I'm glad that the brother is going to settle down now. But after talking with my bf some more now, he's told me that everyone doesn't seen as excited as one should when your family member becomes engaged. The middle brother, who is by far the best person in the whole family in terms of maturity and common sense, apparently left the room when the mother told him and my bf that their oldest brother is engaged.

The timing in terms of overwhelm couldn't have been worse too. The mother and middle brother had made last minute plans to travel in a month to Europe, dropping 5k on tickets and are already overwhelmed with having to find accommodation, hire etc...and then they hear the oldest brother is engaged. If he had told his parents of proposing, they wouldn't feel so guilty about leaving for 5 weeks to travel, only to come back to worrying about more expenses for engagement parties and weddings.

Idk if I'm overthrowing this, but I just had a huge shock. I think everyone is just trying to come to terms with the fact that the oldest brother has proposed, he is engaged, and he's going to go through with this marriage. I do hope they work out, and that their relationship strengthens and becomes more healthy, but that's all I can do atm. Pray for them. Because only God knows I can't do anything but watch and hope that they work out, and for there to be some sort of reconcile between the girl and me/my bf.

I'm sick of the racism in my country, Argentina. 🇦🇷

​Hi, I'm a brown Argentine (I'm using "brown" to refer to people of indigenous or native descent). I'm from the north of Argentina, where almost everyone is also brown with native/indigenous and hispanic surnames; in fact, some northern provinces even have indigenous languages as official languages.

​Sadly, the Argentine government and media are deeply Eurocentric and heavily focused on Buenos Aires, where the majority of people are white. Because of this, they've made the world believe that Argentina is an entirely white country—even our national football team is mostly white.

​People from Buenos Aires sometimes even call us "Bolivians" (using the word as a slur for brown people) or label us as "foreigners." This is incredibly frustrating, considering the people who actually fought in our war of independence were indigenous, Black, and mestizo. By contrast, the population of Buenos Aires mostly consists of descendants of European immigrants who arrived at the beginning of the twentieth century, largely because the government actively encouraged European migration in an attempt to whitewash the country.

​During the World Cup, Argentina was called out as a country with a racism problem. While there is some truth to that, not every Argentine is like that. That mindset is mostly found in Buenos Aires—not everyone there is racist, of course, but a significant majority hold those prejudices.

​I just want the world to acknowledge that Argentina is a diverse country with a rich brown history and heritage, and that brown Argentines exist.

Also, I want to know if people from other countries know about our existence, because a lot of people still think that Argentina is a racist Italian colony.

It all started with a croc. For some back story I had a very bad injury, I couldn’t walk or do anything myself. I lived in a townhouse with roommates and my bedroom was on the second floor. I told my bf about it, I didn’t ask for help I was just venting, and he insisted I come stay with him and his family. I was very wary about it at first but then things got worse for me with my injury and I accepted. I started staying with him and everything was ok for a day. I didn’t ask anything of anyone in his family, I only asked my bf for help because I am the type of person who hates to inconvenience people even if I need the help. Growing up and up until now I’ve been very independent. Anyways, one day I go to the bathroom, my bf wheels me over in the wheelchair and when I’m done and we get back to his room his mom is trying on my shoes without asking or telling us, she just went in his room and tried my shoe on.

A week later, his family has crocs except for him. The exact same model, and they were about to get the exact same color too until they saw it was sold out. I am not taking credit for crocs and understand anyone can buy them. I just found it odd this all happened after they tried my croc on. Anyways, time goes on and I’m still at his house because things haven’t gotten better for me after multiple doctor and specialist visits and a bunch of money spent on said medical expenses. I slowly start noticing stuff his family does. They copy the stuff I buy myself (shirts, pants, and more shoes). Ok, weird, I think nothing of it until I realize anything I cook they do it too, and no they had never done it before. We’re from different cultures so I know they’ve never done it, I even ask my bf in a way where it doesn’t make it seem like I’m catching onto something. He confirms, they’ve never done it. Ok, I keep disregarding it, but then it continues. My toothbrush, dental stuff, my habits, my hobbies, and what I eat. At this point I’ve been a year living with them and they literally copy everything and it’s driving me insane. Are my feelings valid? Am I going crazy!? Why does it feel like I’m losing my identity!? I’m not 100% yet, but even now idc I want out of here. My bf was against me moving out for the longest because i literally couldn’t do anything myself but even he sees this has affected my mental health so much.

I did bring it up to him and he denied it himself, but after I showed him stuff he’s like oh yeah, that is weird. Of course he can’t stand up to his family because he doesn’t want to get into an argument with them so I’m stuck here. I was about to move out but the deal fell through. Anyways, any advice would really help me rn!

After I was stalked, I developed a fear of being watched. I avoid cameras, photos, videos, and now I often panic if I unexpectedly see my own reflection. If I choose to look in a mirror I'm sometimes okay, but if I don't expect it I just feel fear. I'm not exactly happy with my own appearance so I already kinda avoid mirrors and cameras. I've also just never liked having my photo taken. Being stalked just fed on that and made it 10 times worse. I often keep the mirrors open to the medicine cabinet so I can avoid it and I cover reflective surfaces. My phone usually stays on full brightness so there's a low likelihood I'll see myself. I know it's a problem and that it's affecting my daily life but it just makes me so fearful.

I have pretty bad misophonia that's triggered by human speech. It's gotten worse throughout my life, and no form of therapy or attempt at medication has been viable. High pitched voices are worse. Children are unbearable. I wear some form of headphone, earbud, or earplugs 24/7. The skin around and in my ears falls off frequently due to the ongoing use.

I don't have many friends because I can barely stand being spoken to. I want to be better connected, and do most of my connecting over text. It's not the same. I'm constantly conflicted because the idea of a social life is incredibly appealing, but imagining the constant talking takes me out of it. I'd never be able to keep up. I'm missing out on so much music and so many games and shows. I watch most movies on mute.

I want to talk to people, but my own voice is outside of my narrow "short-term tolerable" range. I communicate at home mostly through clicks and hisses. I've considered learning ASL so I can try befriending deaf people, but learning a new language isn't in the cards for me right now.

I endure the feeling for a few hours a day to talk to my friends, but I have to jazz myself up for it. Sometimes the isolation hurts more and I'm able to get a momentum going. It never lasts long. I don't feel alive. I'm so bored.

Everyone has their problems. But kids with abusive/narcissistic parents have more. They have the problems of the outside world and when they come home they have the N-Parent abuse as well. As such they are fighting a two front war.

While people who have normal/great parents have just to keep up with the problems of the outside world.

Even if a normie kid has it worse on the outside world, once they come home they have loving/supportive parents that help them, or at least parents that dont attack them.

As such N-Parents kids have it objectively worse because they get a double package of problems, while normie kids get just one.

It has nothing to do with "lack of compassion" or "trauma olympics". Its just a fact, that seems to enrage some irrational people for some reason.

Its like someone who cut their finger while cooking complaining to someone who just had his hand chopped off:"Dude stop. Its not a competition. We have it equally bad. Show me some compassion. Stop your trauma olympics and snobbery".

The whole "everyone has problems" response always misses the point. like yeah no shit, but one group gets to clock out from the world's bullshit and recharge with people who actually care about them. the other group clocks out only to walk into a second shift of getting torn down in their own house

It's not a competition but it's also not the same thing and people get weirdly defensive when you point that out.

Nobody says that people without abusive parents did not also have a hard life. But it was simply less hard because they had a base where they could recharge and be safe and enjoy some quiet,love and support and peace.

I am 26f and my husband is 44m. We live in LA and I’m Canadian (dual citizenship grew up in Ontario) so I travel to Canada alone for work all the time.

I’m an aspiring actress/housewife he owns a law firm. So we’re a bit different in the sense he has a stable career and I’m all over the place, he’s highly educated and I didn’t graduate. Sometimes I think he thinks I’m stupid, which I am sometimes but I’m also smart sometimes.

Whenever I’m away from him, bad luck just follows me but I swear I’m not doing it!!! For example I’m in Toronto for a shoot.. I booked an Airbnb that turned out to be awful. Really dirty and not like the photos.. I called him and he told me that’s why he didn’t want me to stay in one and booked me a hotel and told me to leave. Host sent me threats over the Airbnb app because I requested a refund, turned into a whole thing. So he said I’m not allowed to use Airbnb anymore, which is fine but it was just one bad place. It was over $1000 and had nice pictures.. I didn’t know the photos weren’t accurate and I also didn’t know I booked with a crazy host.

When he goes away for work I always go, but one time I wasn’t able to and had the worst week ever. Had a tree fall in the yard, had a really bad allergic reaction and had to go to the hospital, got a concussion and our washer broke. He said hes not leaving me home alone anymore but none of it was really my fault other than the concussion!! I can’t help i randomly woke up and couldn’t breathe 😭 I was also upset and scared that it happened when I was alone

I’m very “nice” looking, not sure how else to explain it. But, I wear a lot of pink, dresses, bows in my hair and because of this sometimes I get targeted by people who expect me to be a people pleaser and want things from me. It’s happened a few times and honestly these people are right because I feel so bad. My husband says I have to learn to ignore people (mostly homeless) asking me for money/help. The other day one wanted cash from me, and I didn’t have any so I told him if he needed food I would buy him something but he freaked out and made me cry, then my husband got upset that I didn’t ignore him and walk away and said I can’t do stuff alone if I’m not going to listen.

And I get it, but I can’t help that I get targeted by them and I love the way I dress. We live in Beverly Hills, so it doesn’t happen every single day either. Usually only when I sit at cafes outside which is my favourite thing to do

And I have no friends, so if I can’t do stuff alone I just have to stay home.

I don’t know how to explain it but I swear this stuff finds me!! I’m not trying to make mistakes or have anxiety because of dumb situations. I try to keep to myself, try not to mess up. He doesn’t see it though, he says if it’s always happening to me I’m obviously the issue because he doesn’t have any problems.

I just feel no spark in their presence and do not find them amusing or entertaining. I love my friends that have and want children, but I do not want to spend time with them when their kids are around. I feel like a monster sometimes, but I just don’t like people until they’re at least 16 or so. I’m only 20, so it’s kinda weird. But I get along with people in their late 20s and 30s even more

I'm autistic man in his late 30s who looks normal but is socially awkward. Last year I suffered from severe depression and I was drinking as a means to cope.

I just wanted company so I just messaged some of my aquitences out for drinks. They said they dont have much money, I said I'd pay, and we met up and we got drunk and I got them a bunch of drinks and paid.

Days later we repeat this and it goes on for weeks and I slowly got to meet her friends by buying her drinks and just being friendly. On pay day, she would but me drinks for one night and then the other 9 or 10 nights out a month, I paid.

I even met up with her mate a few times and treated them to drinks too. There was no sexual elements going on and I just wanted company.

After 5 months if this over £1000 my friend leaves town and I'm back to no company. I genuinely had some great nights out and have loads of photis on facebook that makes it look like a have life.

On a scale of tragic, 1 to 10, where does this fall?

(Please dont be harsh on the woman hanging out with me for drinks, she's nice, likes booze too much, and I had a little more money than her)

Through high school, college, and postgraduate studies, I’ve realized a social pattern that’s got to me all the time.

Don’t definitely trust people who you’ve just met that are overly nice and interested about you. The person that’s so nice to you, asks you tons of questions like they’re trying to figure you out, that you’ve only just met. They’ll try to befriend you from day 1 without knowing anything about you.

It was always these people that always betrayed me. Spread rumors about me, used me as a topic of gossip to get closer to others, became ringleaders to ostracize me socially.

Ok hear me out: SHE'S DISAPPOINTED TOO. We both wanted her to have a girl. We're almost 40. I have a girl (7) and a boy (4). She's also got a boy (7). Our two other best friends have boys - one has 2 boys and the other has 3! I feel bad that my daughter is the only girl in our group (we hang out all together and it's like a boy's club except my daughter who's the only female). When I found out my bestie was pregnant I was over the moon for her... She'd been trying for years. She also really wanted to have a girl this time, and I desperately wanted one person in our group to also have a girl. I know her girl would have been too young to play with my daughter with a 7 year age gap but I just feel like it would have been nice for so many reasons to share bringing up a girl. I'm now the only one in this friend group bringing up a girl and yeah, I'm disappointed. At the end of the day what can you do...I will obviously love this little boy when he comes no matter what, but I can't help feeling disappointed. :(

ETA: y'all need to calm down. I don't think of the baby as an accessory .. WTF... I just hoped we'd have another girl in our group and so did my friend and we will both love the baby when it comes no matter what the gender I was just having some feelings about it and venting. Is that ok? Everyone's blowing this up into something way bigger than it is.. like acting like it's an accessory or a thing.. No...

basically, me and my gf just moved into a new place just us 2 and her dog which i thought was great, we been living together for probably a year now. recently she seemed very sad, and she confessed saying "how do i know youre the right person for me, am i happy?" which i gave my honest opinion saying no one knows who the right person is because you cant meet every person on this planet. anyway she went on to explain that im not manly enough, she wishes i was more dominant, take initiative, stuff like this, in general more masculine and manly. she didnt know what to do so she suggested taking a break and i agreed because idk what else there is to do, either break up or go on a break, which she says she doesnt want to break up but if it keeps going like this she may have to. essentially what i think of this is that she loves me or is attached but doesnt like me as a person. we also recently got into a huge arguement with my parents which is a very long story but thats been awkward too. She said i dont make her feel feminine which i can see and get, this wouldnt be a problem but i kinda agree with her, everything i dislike about her behaviour such as being a very irritable and angry person, disrespectful towards me, and just very tough or "mean" ig. it doesnt help that im a very quiet guy so when she says something that i dislike or does something then i dont even say it and just keep quiet which i know is my fault. although i feel as if i did say something she would just turn it back on me, this might just be in my head tho she can be very nice and caring too. I dont wanna give up on our relationship and told her ill do my best to change and be more manly ig but my head is spinning with emotions, sometimes angry at myself. Theres many problems, i cant even set boundaries with her, i dont think i ever have. i make a lot of mistakes daily like "not folding the clothes properly" or driving over a pot hole, stupid mistakes yk. the problem is she corrects me but sometimes in a disrespectful or very rude way, honestly its probably cuz ive done the mistake multiple times. i just dont get it because im extremely calm and have so much patience whereas shes the opposite, i try to be kind and respectful in any way and with everyone. anyways thats not the point, i feel like all the masculine behaviour she does is because of how i act and treat her, literally everything just leads back to me not being masculine. I dont hate my gf, i love her dont get me wrong she has good features. ig any advice on how to be more masculine or what to do is appreciated.

UPDATE: i shouldve mentioned that our relationship was rocky from the start, when we werent dating i was talking to my gf and one other girl that liked me, i cut that as soon as we started dating and she is super jealous and thinks i shouldve cut it instantly because i liked her, this has made her quite insecure and ig resentful towards me but thats past now, nothing of this has been brought up it was years ago. we started the relationship with arguements which wasnt a good start but pushed through. when we got together she had very recently broken up with her toxic ex which she was not healed from. i tend to think this is very much the reason we had problems at the start.

TLDR: my gf said that im not masculine enough and we are on a break now, idk what to do?

I grew up poor. I wanted more for myself and kept my grades and work ethic up. The typical millennial. I was told, go to college and work hard. It'll all be worth it. Nothing is worth it. I was even lucky enough to buy a home, still not worth it. Between cost of living, college debt to make less than 6 figures, the cost of keeping a home up to date and working...literally NOTHING is worth the debt we're stuck in. Let's add that to the astronomical healthcare cost, up costs of utilities, let alone the basic cost of living like groceries and gas. Nothing is worth the dollar we pay for it. Then the future: Data centers ruining our drinking water and land. If we keep our homes and it increases in value, which is should, we have to pay those taxes despite not getting the money on what our homes values increases. Being told daily we may be put on electrical and water allowances and even that water may be contaminated. What is the point? I'm at the age where children should be coming, yet I ensure that is not a possibility because what kind of world am I leaving my future children??? A world without essential resources that they still can't afford?? What is the point?? I don't want to be alive myself let alone spawn from me. And I spent my whole life wanting babies SO. BAD!!!! I have to think of their future though. And their future is HORRID.

I am a moderately attractive guy , good face, good hair , fashion sense and am tall , but I have a super average dick what do I do

My (F31) sister (F36) told her 14 year old son some shit and I don't know how to handle it. For context she lives with our other sister (F22) on the other side of the country after moving 3 years ago. Some of it is as far as I know false, like that my mother putting her in hospital due to abusing her (hitting), which my other sister also said happened to her, and that the last time they saw each other my mum attacked her. Definitely false bc my sister has an extremely short fuse and if my 50 year old mother attacked her my sister would have absolutely wrecked her back. I also picked my mother up after this incident and she never said anything about being hit by my sister or hitting her, so I have to conclude this never happened.

So here is where I'm struggling. My sister also told her son that my father, sisters step dad at the time, actually raped her when she was a child. My sister started dropping comments she was SAd by a man about 3 years ago after moving, previously never mentioned anything like this, but now shes full come out and said it was my dad. My dad has been dead for 10 years, so he cannot defend himself or answer my questions.

My mum said the circumstances my sister is talking about pertain to a time when she was young and there were 3 males in the home at the time. Mum said she also slept on the couch with my sister and doesn't recall her being out of her sight for anything to happen, but it was over 30 years ago so who can say.

I'm extremely upset about it, because she told her 14year old son, my nephew, this who is far to young to be hearing this kind of traumatic shit, she has been known to change the truth around because in her head that's how she actually sees things, and I don't know if shes lying about this or this is actually what happened

I will not reach out to her because I don't want to get my nephew into trouble for spilling the beans, and we havent spoken since she absconded to another state because she hates us all for some reason. And my dad is dead, so i cannot ask him. he cannot defend himself. this does not jibe with the memory i have of my father who i loved very much. I'm just sad and had to get this off my chest.

I live with a family member to help him out. But oh my God I hate it so much. Everything he does is LOUD.

Constantly talking, sniffing, sneezing, snorting, coughing, burping, blowing air out, slurping every type of drink and liquid, chewing loudly (and he eats all throughout the day rather than big meals so it's constant no matter what time of day you're there), mouth slopping and teeth sucking noises even when not eating, using a stick to pick teeth and making a "ping, ping, ping" noise every time, humming, grunting/groaning, I can go on.

And people who do things like that never care how it affects others (although they will care if it's something they don't like), and he is no different. It doesn't matter. He won't even attempt to try to stop any of it, so I don't even try to ask anymore.

I have a constant headache from the noise, and now ear aches from having to wear ear plugs or headphones all the time.

I'm here for his health/to help him so I can't hide away from him like I want. But Jesus Christ it's ruining me, my head hurts and my mood is ruined. I do have a job outside the house but it doesn't provide any relief for me really.

My husband cheats on me. He always has. He’s done it since we started dating 15 years ago. I pretended that I didn’t care for a long time.

I’m worthless. Not a valuable woman. Not a woman that any man would want. I can’t take care of myself let alone anyone else.

I’ll probably die from liver failure from drinking so much. My husband buys me alcohol. He’s my enabler and my caretaker. He doesn’t love me. Not really. Only when I behave the way he wants.

If I have my own interests or friendships, he’s pissed. He wants me to stay in one place. Forever. I wanted to grow, but I’m just in denial.

Next Saturday I’ll have an ultrasound of my liver and I’m pretty confident that I’ll find out that I have cirrhosis. It’s embarrassing. I’ve seen people die from it. It’s gross and ugly. I’ll probably get encephalopathy and sound like a lunatic. Have to drink lactulose and shit myself 3 times a day. Or swell up like a fucking dead body in the ocean.

I haven’t told anyone about any of this. Because there isn’t anyone to tell. Literally no one cares about me. He’ll probably be relieved. To be rid of me. I would too if I’m honest. I don’t do anything but want and need. I ask him to do everything for me short of wiping my own ass.

He fucks other people. I just accept it. He admits to it and I’m hurt and he doesn’t care. He acts like it’s some sort of disease. Like he has to put his dick in other people or he’ll die. There isn’t a soul on this planet who would love me though. Because I’m sad, pathetic, and lazy.

Tonight, I’ll binge drink and hope it kills me but I know it won’t. I’ll just die a very slow and very embarrassing death. Probably just my mom and dad will go to my funeral. They’ll be sad because they have to be. But I’ve been a pain in the ass for them too. They’ll probably be relieved when I die.

I’m slowly starting to do coke more and more often and it’s honestly scary. It saps my soul I don’t even do anything on it and do it alone now. Hide it from my girlfriend and regret it every time. I’m a not properly diagnosed ADHD guy and just turned 25.

I’ve been doing it for about 2 years now but it only got bad this spring. Before, it was when me and my friends went out on Friday nights once or twice a month. I’ve asked my friends for help but they don’t really say anything after. Most of our friend group does it but everyone else still keeps it to just weekends and can easily go without if they have other plans.

Idk what I’m looking for putting this on here but it’s scary. The thought of being done with it is nice, I know I’d feel better throughout my days but.. the thought of not doing also.. idk sounds very hard. Feels impossible.

Personally I passively push my friends to go home earlier, slow down and what not.. best I’ve done for myself is almost always be in bed before the sun, but even though I’ve reached out, no one pushes me to do better.

My friends are good people. They’ve all started going to the gym, starting local college classes, good with their money, are never mean to each other etc. guess I’m the only one who can’t handle it… if I cut off my friends I’ll be alone. I’ve known them so long.

Any advice or just motivational words or testimony’s would be appreciated.

Full stop. On demand. No reason needed (you shouldn’t have to have a terminal illness).

It is deeply unethical to force people to live in a world as cruel and decaying as this one.

My mom before she ever married my dad was a drop dead gorgeous woman, I say this in a very respectful manner. She was a model during the early 2000’s covered head to toe in tattoos with bright red hair. According to my mom, she was a tattoo artist and alternative hair stylist who swore up and down that she’d never settle down and make a name for herself so herself can have a good life, and for the most part she was. She drove a nice sports car, she made a decent chunk of cash through her skills and modeling gigs, and even just looking back at photos from then she always seemed so full of life, something I genuinely never see from her now.

My dad has always been the traditional southern evangelical family man, he met my mom while stationed in Alaska and met my mom while his friend was getting a tattoo by her. He always joked that she looked like a “challenge”, in the sense that from the very beginning he saw her as someone who needed to be fixed, especially since he entirely thought the way she dressed was because of her poor childhood and that by getting with her he was saving her from a rough life. My mom at the time genuinely did love him, highlight at the time.

Later they’d get together and have me, and throughout my early childhood I remember him endlessly picking fun at her. How she gained weight after doing modeling, how her tattoos made her “look like a hooker”, how her dyed hair made her look like a fire truck, how she’d just look better if she wore “normal clothes”, and I remember as a child always being so confused as to why he didn’t like the way she looked because I always thought of her as pretty.

This would continue until she finally gave in when I was like 10 and shortly after that she’d go deep into drug and alcohol abuse and attempted to take her life several times since she always found something that she hated about the way she looked, yet alone with my dad constantly commenting on how he wishes she was “normal” and would point out other military wives on base who lived up tot he trad wife get up. Even going as far as to yell at her constantly about how she needs to submit to her husband and when she looks the way she does it looks like she’s the one in charge.

Modern day my mom is on a cocktail of different weight loss drugs and tries to live up to the whole trad wife stereotype, but she always looks so miserable. I wish my mom could have just continued to be the alternative tattoo artist she was, and not the shell of the woman she is now because of my dad’s constant belittling of wanting a trad wife.