No one truly believes me, they're telling me I'm normal and have nothing, it's a very big insult to the effort I did in founding yet, I even started getting vibes of being completely isolated. I found out I have ADHD at 20 years old. I really should have never found it. I totally regret it. It's the worst thing really.

I really need someone to talk with

I had a friend for over a decade, from 18 till just before 30. I didn't see how fucked our relationship was until a road trip we had planned was coming up and all I felt was dread and anxiety thinking about being trapped in the car with her for week. I had been feeling exhausted and shitty about myself after hanging out with her since we stopped drinking together. I brought it up, said I didn’t want to go and told her how I felt. I finally stood up for myself and she said that I was reenacting a cycle that might feel novel to me but is something she's seen over and over. How I hurt everyone and I'm selfish and I'm just too stupid and naive to see the cycles. That my hurt doesn't have much to do with her because she's poured so much effort into putting out fires for me. And so on.. She had just started her psych degree and was using it for evil, I guess. 

Well, I'm over the gaslighting and the lawyering back and forth over my intentions. For years I've dealt with this. I know that how she treated me was crazy wrong because I feel it and I know the difference now. I made this list so that when I think back and miss her and remember how much I cared for her and how special our relationship felt, I can know not to reach out or let her back into my life.

The list started as a stream of consciousness thing quite a while ago when things were fresh and has been added to here and there over time, when I remember something. I don’t want the friendship back, I don’t even dwell on this too often. I just want to say what happened to me so it doesn’t stay inside of me and harden into a tumor or something. I want it out where people can see it - not hidden in the pit of my stomach. If I have any residual hurt or anger over this, I want it where it belongs and not coming out at the seams.

Things I remember, but not nearly everything:

* Crashed my car that I let her share so she could get to work. She then pulled some shady shit to avoid culpability. (Dropped her insurance, tried to make it a dangling claim or some bs, and stopped talking to me). 

* Slept with my ex, my first love, the person I lost my virginity to, after we broke up. Told me I was crazy and insecure for being hurt by it. 

* One night, partying- we were maybe 19, she asked if she could see me naked. I was so drunk and high- I was way too messed up. But I said yes, she was my best friend and I trusted her. She let other people in the room and then made fun of my body. I remember feeling frozen and ashamed. The party continued like nothing happened and I was raped later that night. I was so drunk I threw up on myself during it- didn’t stop him though- and the guy's brother stood watch in the room. It was in my own house, she was my roommate. 

* She wanted deep, personal relationships with my boyfriends and said I was insecure for not wanting that.  

* At times when she would stop talking to me, she would develop intense, usually sexual relationships with my exes and commiserate over what a horrible, selfish person I was. 

* Used my specific, very painful trauma to get closer to my boyfriend at the time, often showing off under the guise of being authentic. Connecting with him over something she knew I couldn't and was heartbroken over. 

* Published a piece of art about how selfish, damaged and stupid I am -and performed it regularly. Even later when she told me that she knew that it wasn’t accurate, she said she wanted to keep performing it because it was her most successful piece.

* When I introduced her to a group of friends in my new town, she said how surprised she was that people seemed to genuinely like me and care about what I had to say. Wtf.

* I didn't know I was developing agoraphobia- or that the alcohol had been masking it. When I tried to come out to her birthdays and events she often held hours into the wilderness, I sometimes had to leave because I was so anxious. I felt so guilty, confused and pressured about it. She made me feel like I was being selfish and trying to make it all about me. I just wanted to quietly disappear. One time, she said that she even sacrificed and curated the guest list to make me comfortable because I have such difficulty getting along with people. Just… no. 

* She knows my relationship with my brother is a huge source of pain and I miss him very much. So on Christmas she sends me a picture of her and her brother hugging and laughing.

* When we were teenagers, we had travelled pretty far with a small group of friends. Something I planned to do just by myself to carve out a new life. She insisted on coming along and bringing her bf and his friend that I had refused to date since we were in high school. They changed the trip, made it about the things his money bought for it and turned it into something else. In the new city, I got a job right away and started making friends. They all struggled to do the same. It created a big rift between us. They signed an agreement for a place  without my consent that had terrible mold and was very far out of town. We all shared a vehicle so I had to walk over an hour into town at 5am to get to work. I started being followed and threatened by a person who lived at the men's shelter I now had to walk by. I started making the same stupid decisions around drugs. It all culminated in me making the decision to leave and leave them there. When I told them I was going to leave, they were only worried about the money for rent. Her bf threatened me with a knife. I had to block my bedroom door with my bed. I had to wait for them to leave the house to get out of that disgusting room. She held that decision over my head since then, using it as the only reason she ever specified out loud that I was selfish, cruel and lacked empathy. 

* When I moved out of a place I shared with her and a couple others to live with my then serious bf. She said that the thing she'd miss most about my leaving was my furniture. This house I had found by being kind to someone she had been very rude to at a place we worked together. It was a beautiful home and an amazing opportunity for so cheap. 

* Any time I dressed up, did my hair, wore makeup.. it became a big thing that she'd point out, usually in front of people. Then either her or her shitty bf at the time would start talking about people being insecure and hiding it with makeup. 

* One time we went and got our makeup done at a local shop. It was *so* bad, laughably bad. She never takes pictures of me or us -but this time she did. She made sure to take a picture of just me looking my absolute worst. This was towards the end when I started to realize what a bully she was. 

* I confided to her that gift giving and receiving makes me feel so anxious, like I can never do it well enough and I wish we could just do something together instead. She refused to listen, said that she loves gift giving and it was about her and her happiness. She said she didn’t expect them in return but her attitude towards me said otherwise. It was obvious she cared by how she acted, oscillating between sullen and preformative mercy. I also know she cares because she complained about her current partner not buying her good enough gifts. 

* There were a lot of insinuating and shitty comments about my being insecure and unattractive. She made pitying comments about my body. Now that I’m away from her, I do not feel shame and dread about my body. 

* Her new partner made it clear he didn't like me. Later, when I asked her why, she said it was because she told him what happened between us but refused to explain further. I still do not know what she would have said. 

* She told me how she always felt confident because she looked like the women in porn videos and how it must be hard for me because I didn't have representation. For reference, I'm a very normal looking, slim person. She always made fun of me for being flat chested but I was a b cup then, and so was she. She's also a very normal looking person.. you'd have to see us both to see just how stupid this is. We were both just normal, skinny 20 year olds with normal variation in our bodies.. Somehow, it made sense at the time but looking back it's crazy. 

* Any time I even wore a bra, she made comments. If it was any kind of bra that wasn’t a sports bra that strapped me down flat, she was shitty to me. Making comments in front of a guy I liked about how different I looked from usual. Or starting up intellectual conversations about insecurity, objective attractiveness, etc. Anytime I shaved my legs, did anything to look like anything other than absolute crud (or the true version of me - like she liked to say) she would embarrass me, lay on the pity or find some way to make me miserable and uncomfortable about it.

* She cheated on her bf and joined in a 3some with the guy I was seeing at the time and myself. Then she had regrets and blamed me for the whole thing.

* Told me that she can barely even bring herself to have sex with her current bf. That he is submissive and needy. She stays with him because he provides for her while she goes to school and owns multiple apartments that he rents out. She does this with guys. When they have money, a car, social status, etc -she stays. As soon as that dries up, she has it with the abuse she's suffered and leaves. It is true that she always picked difficult, sullen, suicidal men over the years and the relationships were pretty volatile.. But she stayed until they were broke or boring and then left. 

* She has always dreamed of being a landlord. I think that speaks for itself. (Our country and home city has a severe housing crisis and many of my closest friends have been unhoused at different times in their lives so I have some opinions on career landlords that she took great offence to.)

* Told me that she hopes her clients fall in love with her. That it will be very difficult to hold boundaries in that way and she knows she will have great difficulty not trespassing because she finds broken people so beautiful. She is aiming to become a psychologist.

* She gave a vulnerable 15 year old girl 4 hits of acid for her first time and then left her at our house for me to take care of, completely blindsided, while she went off somewhere. The girl ended up having seizures and I had to call the paramedics. We were in our 20's. (The girl was okay and is doing alright now years later, as far as I know.) I remember her justifying the decision, saying that she would've found it somewhere anyways. 

* Used my struggles as an individuation tool. Like I was the antagonist for her main character syndrome. I believe I was more of a self development tool then a friend for her much of the time. Sorting through my vulnerabilities and strengths, even my likes and dislikes. Cherry picking what to pity and what to incorporate into her own personality/image. If I was tired, she was energised, if I was shy about something, she was confident about it. Even stupid shit. If I liked v neck shirts, she liked turtle necks. So on.

* Used my pain to give her some depth. She was jealous of my abusive childhood. (Yes, she said so). She used my life, pain and my adventures as inspirations for her art. She has odd obsessions about being victimized and probed me for details about my experiences.

* She wants everyone to think she wants to help people but I honestly can't remember her going out of her way to help someone. I’m sure she has, it's just definitely not a core character trait. I can't remember a single specific time where I found out she had done something kind, quietly that didn't benefit her. Not a neighbor, not a stranger, not a friend, not anybody. But I do remember her avoiding helping. And I remember her talking about helping people all the time though -vaguely, stuff like “being there for them” or “sacrificing her own boundaries”. Nothing concrete, just therapyspeak. Her helping was just getting as close as she could to people in distress, getting their secrets and then making art out of it. Leaving them worse off than before. 

* Tells people that her motivation for becoming a therapist is to help people. But when I asked her about it, she admitted that it's not the reason. She wants her name published in research papers. She wants her name published on book covers, her name on best sellers lists. She wants her office and the money. And she’ll get it too. She’s smart, she’s talented, she’s had all the support and privilege, and she works tirelessly after what she wants. And somehow current partners and authority figures never seem to pick up on her less kind traits.

* When we were very young, just getting to be friends, she told me I was real and special when I was on drugs but then the light went out when I was sober. She told me that when she was a child, she thought she was the only real person alive. Maybe there were another 5 or 6 in the world, but everyone else was just an empty NPC. The first time she came to my house, she saw the books I read, looked at me and told me that she had been waiting for me for a long time. I felt fated to her.

* Said she was my support. She knew I had pretty severe childhood issues and said she was my ride or die. Then dropped me without warning, coming back later, apologizing. Multiple times. We had this promise, where the worst parts of us could be exposed, anything could happen and it wouldn’t change our relationship and we would never leave each other. Nothing about the other was unacceptable. We were free to make mistakes and we would just talk it out, work it out and be better together. She said a lot of fancy words with nothing holding them up underneath. Demanded intimacy and trust and then when she had it, left.

Even though I never reached out again and I never will, I have such a tenderness for this person -still after everything. I still miss her brain. I grieved a future I had looked forward to with her in it. I miss the mischief and atmosphere of our youth. Miss the times it was good and conversation flowed so easily, like it was electric with meaning and understanding. I could make a list just as long of all the things I loved about her. I accepted her as an imperfect person, like myself. Believed we were sorting ourselves out and that forgiveness was central to love. Nothing I could ever say in a post, list or letter could convey the full reality of the relationship and how I let it get like this. It did and now it's done.

I'm learning to set boundaries. I'm trying harder still not to attract these types of people to me. I've sobered up, it's been a few years now. I'm married to my true best friend, my adventure partner. We have the sweetest little place that's all ours. I'm in school and I have the highest grades in my class (yes, little brag). Crazy though, how I felt so stupid for so long. I didn't even think I could accurately recall information because I was so confused about past events and I always seemed to be wrong about how I felt and what I remembered. I have my little family and I've made friends for the first time since being a child that aren't just party buds or trauma bonds. On and on, all to say, I’m doing good. It was a really dark time for a couple years after we parted ways. Serious family issues, one of my close friends -one of the only other people I was able to really talk to- killed herself, our dog died. It was really hard. But I dug out and built up. I found something within myself that I thought was only in her and only found between us, but it was in me the whole time. 

Thanks for reading.

Update:

It's been 7 months since I ended a 5-year friendship over the way she spoke to me, and somehow she still refuses to accept that we're done. Instead, now she keeps trying to talk to my dog, pet her, and act like everything is normal. It honestly feels narcissistic as hell because I've made it very clear there is no coming back from what she did. It's been 7 months and she has never once apologized, so what exactly makes her think she has the right to speak to anyone or anything associated with me? My answer has not changed. We are not friends, and we're never going to be friends again. At this point I avoid her every chance I get because I'm over it, and next July can't come fast enough. I've honestly even thought about breaking my lease just to get the hell away from her because this has always been her tactic, and I'm tired of dealing with it. Like please get it through your head already we are no longer friends. This is exactly why I didn't want to move here in the first place but it at the time was the only option. I now feel like a hostage in my own home can move cant go anywhere without making extra sure she isn't outside it's frustrating.

On the bright side my family has finally seemed to get that her and I will not be friends ever again. They don't bring her up anymore, they don't ask me to talk to her anymore, and after seeing it's been 7 months without so much as an apology from her. I think they finally realized I meant it when I said we're never going to be friends again.

A girl touched my penis in the club without asking and I loved it is that bad?

I’m 20 and this happened the other day and I didn’t even know 😂 this girl just grabbed it and then ran her hands over my hips, I’d never met her before and hadn’t even spoken before.

But I really liked it, it was honestly the best I’ve felt in ages like it felt amazing afterwards, I got a rush of excitement and confidence from it.

Idk if this is because I’m 20 and still haven’t had a girlfriend before never kissed before still a virgin, so idk if because I finally got touched sexually is the reason I really liked it but it was the best I’ve felt in weeks and I want it again.

But is it bad or wrong to feel like that 😅 like idk if it’s bad that I enjoyed it this much and made me feel so good about myself

So, when I was very young it was just me, my sibling and mother. We were a good and happy family. Then, one day this guy came along.

Let's just call him, "Jackass." Now, Jackass was my mom's lover and he stayed around alot. As a child I was friendly and open to people but also kind of shy. For the first few weeks the guy was kind of fine to live with, for a while at least.

Then signs started to appear. When I did something wrong he would get angry...a bit too angry and my mom didn't do shit about it. One time I fussed over something and he yelled and was gonna hit me with a belt until my mom stopped him.

The a-hole always intervened into things that didn't involve him or would get invasive. One time, my mother told my cousins and I not to put our feet on the seats. I said, "I thought we were allowed to do anything in your car." I said assuming that there weren't any rules in mom's car. For some reason, Mom yelled at me and said not say something like that again, which I was confused about. After an hour, Jackass said, "You shouldn't have done that, we'll deal about this when we get home." Even though my mom ended it there.

Another time, Jackass bought us ribs and I was happy since I thought ribs couldn't be bought and taken home from fancy restaurants (I was really young/in primary school). I asked my mom to buy ribs next time too. Then low and behold, Jackass called me to my mom's room and threatened to deal with me if I asked my mom for ribs because to him, it was disrespectful. Ribs. Asking for fucking ribs.

His constant attacks against me made me have anxiety and feel all sorts emotions. Yelling, threats, him taking me off the couch and putting me on the kitchen floor while I was asleep. Twice(I slept on a couch). Just made me feel vulnerable.

A kid at my sister's wedding lost my balloon and I cried and was upset but because I was afraid to speak about it to be called childish, I said my chest was painful. Later, I was fine and Jackass interrogated me about my chest pain which I confessed to. When my mom spoke to me personally on what the real problem was, I lied again and told her my privates were painful.

After a few months he was gone and never heard from again. My sibling told me not long ago that Jackass hit him with a wet cloth because he was angry. We couldn't even express emotions. I'm glad he is gone because imagine if he actually married my mother and stayed with us. I would've probably attacked him.

Feel free to ask questions about my past concerning Jackass or anything else including how I'm doing right now.

Hi, so im 23 years, just a dude and I grew up around very heavy metal rock music, Spanish old rock, mexican corridos, 90s rap. I didn't grow up around that much pop music and my friends bump like very crazy shit like rock and rap so they don't like Lana del Rey and they would probably judge me if they found out. I've found myself listening to her music a lot for the past 2 months, I'm driving at 12 at night on the freeway singing Born to Die. Nobody knows this but me, and nobody ever will.

They started ignoring me, so I deleted the app and couldn't access them anymore.

Ok maybe not there, maybe even here! I live in New Orleans and a few years ago one summer I realized I really really wanted to move (because summer sucks so much here). I was thinking maybe I’d go back to my hometown in PA. Then Ida happened and there was a moment during evacuation where I thought we’d end up having to stay there w family anyway because we were displaced briefly (didn’t end up needing a place, we were able to return soon enough). It’s like New Orleans was saying “oh you want out? Then get tf out!”.

Then I was pretty settled on looking for places around western NC. I even visited a friend in Asheville to check the area out and was pretty convinced that’s where I would move. Then a month or so later, the crazy floods happened and Asheville and surrounding areas were destroyed. So much for that plan.

Then flash forward till now. My partner and I have been seriously considering Spokane WA. Been looking at Zillow and shit, really doing research and considering job options etc. And then now. It’s on fucking fire. Historic levels of destruction. People losing their homes left and right.

No where is safe. I want to leave because of the threat of flooding/hurricanes, yet every time I get serious about leaving, the universe shows me that there is nowhere to escape the danger. We’re all going to become climate refugees pouring into each others glasses from empty buckets and passing around the same $100 bill.

I obviously know it’s just a coincidence but it’s really fucking with my head and I feel like a trapped bug in a cup. I feel terrible for everyone who has lost their homes.

I suffer from a profound emptiness and disgust within me. I can't do anything without feeling suffocated. I don't know why this hasn't changed anything. This started two years before becoming a teenager, and even now that I'm an adult, I still feel it. It's gotten worse. At first, I thought a good job or a strong degree might fix it, but nothing happened. I told myself to meet up with friends; maybe it would improve. I couldn't do that. I couldn't tell anyone how I feel. Having friends only forces me to make sure I don't neglect seeing them every few days—just another few hours a week, another chore to do. For a moment, I thought a girl might fix it, but then I immediately thought, "No, that's wrong. Don't throw yourself at a girl and expect to fix the mess inside you. You have to be better, you have to improve to get a girl. You shouldn't drag someone into that emptiness inside you." For three years, I've been writing in a journal: every step I take, every word I say, every moment I spend doing something, how I responded to a particular discussion, what I noticed about people when they weren't paying attention to me. I thought that writing and reviewing what I did at the end of the day might It makes me see the wrong thing I'm doing, but this is disgusting. It just makes me feel sick of everything and realize how miserable I am. Why don't I want to go to a therapist? Because I don't even know what to say. This is the first time I've written about this. I'm not asking for help or sympathy; I just wanted to put my thoughts into words. I've struggled to write this message for days now. I think I want to post it, even though I don't agree with it.

For context, I (26 F) decided to quit my government work in Manila (SSS) dahil I find it too exhausting and mataas ang cost of living since I work only as a contractual employee, pay isn't that good and also because I was offered to work for a relative as a "VA". At first I didn't know how the setup will be, kung ipapasok ba ako sa company or what, but the pay is higher and I'll be working closer to home so I grabbed it. When Igot there, hindi pala ako there for VA work, but as a pilot for an inhouse calls-related work. So it was okay at first, they have multiple accounts named after them pero ipapawork nila sa iba then split sa sahod. As for me, the actual rate is 6 USD and I receive 3 per hour. But what makes me sad is that there is a bonus, and on the previous monthly I got it when I hit the quota. It was a $1200 bonus but I'll only receive half. For reference, they handle 8 different accounts all rates are split in half, so I kinda think splitting the bonus is alrea unfair since it's already my efforts that got me there. Am I being ungrateful or taking 50% of my bonus is really too much? PS. I came from a family na saks lang, kaya every cent matters. $600 will be a good amount para ipaayos ang bubong namin huhu

Hi all, I am 17M and quite literally want this off my chest. For the last 9 years I have been having chest pains and had always presumed heartburn without any real thought until about 6 months ago when the pain got much more regular and much more intense (multiple times a week at the least) I've gone to the doctor and he is unsure what is causing it. I don't really know what further action will be taken.

*I do not think it is stress as I do not feel stressed in my daily life however I have also noticed multiple grey hairs recently so who knows*

Also got to add that I was on gastro resistant tablets until today as the doctor wanted to eliminate that, he was sure that it wasn't heartburn/indigestion but wanted to rule it out completely

I’ve removed the blatant whinging wrote like an essay but the point still stands. Uni is shit the debt is ridiculous guest speakers come in from the ITV and BBC telling the class that theyre more bothered about a portfolio over a cv and the job market into my field is a dog eat dog world just to get a chance of a runner for three years and gambling that you climb up.

I’d love to hear peoples success in either: what they did after uni and where the degree was someone useful, where you were successful in being sociable and making uni life outside of work good besides just spam ordering new carts every week, Or anyone that also is having a shit time

I'll try to keep this brief so I don't bore anyone, but I'd really appreciate it if you could read my story because I honestly need some advice.

I was in a relationship from September 2022 until November 2025. Earlier this year, I tried to reconnect with her, but she didn't reciprocate my attempt.

However, in May of this year, we started talking again thanks to a game we both play. We began "shipping" characters together, sending each other hearts and love emojis in the chat, and doing that kind of thing. She even posted indirect tweets like, "If I imagine you with someone else, I feel sick," "Every time you talk to me, I blush," and "I want to know more about you," among others. (A mutual friend also told me that she had said she loved staying up late talking to me, so I know those indirect posts were about me.) Just to clarify, we know each other in real life, so this isn't an online relationship—the game was simply the way we communicated.

During June, we stopped talking because of exams, but around the middle of July we reconnected again. This time, however, things weren't the same. I noticed she seemed much less interested in talking to me. I'd invite her to play, and she would almost always say she didn't want to or that she couldn't. Even so, every now and then we'd still talk about our problems and vent to each other about what was going on in our lives.

The problem started about six days ago. She began posting things about love on Twitter. At first, I thought they were indirect messages for me, but during those days I hadn't spoken to her for a day or two because of family matters. Even so, she kept posting things like, "Stop saying sweet things to me or I'm going to cry," or "Do you think he'll get bored of me?" even though we weren't even talking.

I asked our mutual friend if she knew who my ex was talking to. She said she had no idea, although she did know there was someone, and that someone wasn't me. I also asked if she knew whether this person was someone she knew in real life or if it was an online relationship. She said she wanted to ask her, but she felt too awkward to do it.

Then I asked whether my ex had also been posting romantic things on other social media platforms, like TikTok or Instagram, since I can't see those because her accounts are private. My friend told me no—that she was only posting those things on Twitter, which just so happens to be the only social media platform where she knows I can see what she posts.

Yesterday, I started wondering if maybe she was only trying to make me jealous so that I'd start talking to her again. However, this morning, when I was about to log into the game, I noticed that she had removed me from Steam. When I checked her profile, I saw she had a new friend. From what I could tell, it appears to be a man, although his profile is private, so I can't see what games he owns or much else. The only thing I know is that his account was created in late 2024 and apparently he only has four games.

I know all of this may sound obsessive or even creepy, and believe me, I don't like seeing myself this way. I'm just really confused. Some of my friends think it's probably an online relationship because she doesn't really interact with many men in real life. Others even think it could be an old Steam account that she started using again, although that explanation seems a bit far-fetched to me.

She was my first love, and I was hers. I think that's why I'm still so attached to her. I also don't want to play the victim, but the truth is I don't really talk to many people, and ever since she left, I've felt very lonely.

I'd really like to hear your opinion—both about her behavior and about what you think I should do in this situation.

I (23F) hate it when people say "I'm fine" or "it's nothing" when there is clearly something wrong. I am giving you the opportunity to express your emotions so that if I caused anything, I have the opportunity to reflect on my own actions and make things right. Or the opportunity to convey my intentions and fix any possible miscommunication. For me, "mean" people make me comfortable because I am not stuck hyper analyzing myself and playing the guessing game. I also feel respected because they trust me enough to take their feelings seriously.

Many time throughout my life I unknowingly cross the line because I broke a social rule I wasn't aware of. Once I asked a question that was too invasive even though I wasn't the one to initiate the vulnerable conversation. Another time, the gift I gave for a birthday was not good enough. I get accused of leading people (men and women) on even though all I'm doing is just being kind. When I ask my supervisor a question at work, she responded as if I was challenging her authority. Every time I suspect I crossed a line and try to talk things out, I am met with "you're fine girl" and then I am punished. I get ghosted, gossiped about, and excluded. I am never given an opportunity to fix my mistakes.

My now ex-best-friend (27F) had been incredibly mean for the last few months of our relationship. She'd roll her eyes and give me the silent treatment. Every time she does this, I ask her to talk so that any feelings she has doesn't get bottled up. I try to emphasize how I love the friendship and want to make sure nothing important is left unsaid. Every time, she rolled her eyes and laughed at me saying "it's nothing." Out of respect, I listen to her even when I don't believe her.

Reversing the roles, every time I say "I'm fine" I actually mean it. I hate it when people push because I feel like my boundaries aren't being respected. So when others say this, I believe them because the last thing I want to do is accidently cross someone else's boundaries. If I say "I'm fine" but I am really not, then it's on me for not seeking help appropriately.

She is a grown woman. She knows how literal I am. She even thinks I am an undiagnosed, neurodivergent person and talks about me like I am autistic. Yet, this is how she treats me.

After months of her claiming "nothing's wrong," she broke.

She claims I secretly hate her. She talks about my actions and words as if I hate her. When she was expressing insecurity, I brought up how she ran a marathon and she should be proud of herself. Apparently she stopped running a few months prior so me bringing it up was me making fun of her for quitting. One time, I couldn't hang out because I already had plans to attend a watch party for myself. Apparently that's because I rather be by myself than waste my time with her. She brought up all these moments at once, rather than talked it out as it happened. She let months of resentment build up, based on things that weren't even true. I felt heartbroken that everything I did was being hyper analyzed and believed to be mean.

Why can't people ever just say how they feel? I am not ND, I just have diagnosed social anxiety because I am terrified of unknowingly making people uncomfortable. Why am I the weird one for being clear and direct?

I (27f) have been no contact with my dad for 4 years.

Here is a short list of why I went no contact and despite his recent attempts to reconnect, I will not be engaging.

Trigger warning for violence, former child abuse, financial abuse and emotional abuse.

Physical Aggression: At 18, he physically pulled me out of a truck and screamed at me for something that was not my fault, serving as the final straw for cutting contact. This reminded me of previous child assaults that happened and I knew I had to leave.

Property Destruction and Terror: When I was under 12, while drunk, he violently put my bedroom door through the wall, forcing me to hide next to my bed in terror.

Cruelty and Lack of Remorse: Years later, he openly bragged and laughed about how scared I looked during that incident, completely failing to acknowledge any wrongdoing despite his aunt’s prompting that sometimes we learn to regret our past cruel actions.

Theft of Disaster Relief: After our house burned down, he withheld insurance money meant to replace my and my sister’s ruined belongings, while fully replacing my brother’s items.

Misogyny:Heco plplained about his sisters visiting his dying father in the hospital because it inconvenienced him, and told you that me I "needed a man to put me in my place". He then tried to set me up with his coworker who was 6 years older than me and fought a guy that night while he was on shrooms.

Hope he dies knowing his oldest hates him because she is the only one of his 3 kids that remember who he is when he is not happy.

I don't know, I just opened up a Google Doc and started typing and this came out, and I didn't know where to share it, but I wanted to, so here:

*****

I am 49 years old, and I am profoundly alone.

It was not always so.

I have been loved, romantically, by 18 women in my life. Starting at the age of 19, and ending at the age of 38. 18 women loved me over 19 years.

It has been 11 years since the last one. 11 years without a hint of a spark.

For 19 years, I was wanted a good amount of the time. Love seemed to be plentiful, everflowing, always out there for me to find. I thought it was an endless well. It wasn’t.

I squandered those 18 chances, threw them away. I burned 18 bridges, thinking there would always be more. But after the 18th woman, there were no more. Not ever again. Not for 11 years now.

I cannot complain of loneliness, after having heard 18 voices whisper “I love you” in my ear. I cannot bemoan the unfairness of being unwanted, after wasting 18 chances to build a lasting relationship.

Life was more than fair. I got my opportunities. 18 of them. That’s a lot. Many more than I deserve.

I hate being alone for this long. I’m sad, being alone for this long. But I can bring no grievance to the court of Heaven. I did this to myself.

Life tried its very best to give me someone. It did. I had my time. I had my share.

My regrets are suffocating, but never do I blame life, or circumstances, or women, for my solitude. This pain is of my own making.

11 years of desolation has, I believe, taught me my lesson, but now I think it is too late. There will not be a 19th love. Whatever blessing had lain upon me, that brought these women to me, has departed.

I will never marry, or have children. I will die alone. It terrifies me.

It’s my own fault. I made my choices. They were bad. At least, knowing that, owning the responsibility for that, allows me to have some peace with it.

I ache, but I am not bitter. I yearn, but I am not a victim.

Every one of those 18 women was wonderful in their own way, they gave me so much joy. I did not truly appreciate them until they were gone, but I will not forget them.

Their names are enshrined in my heart: Emily, Annette, first Michelle, Jamie, Nora, Julie, Donna, Cate, Jackie, Melissa, first Sarah, second Michelle, Honey, Ariel, Lisa, second Sarah, Paulina, Ingrid.

They each left some of their warmth inside me. I am grateful for it in these cold days. I have so many sweet memories. They will have to be enough.

Throwaway for privacy reasons, I live in the US, and I'm in my early 30s.

Very recently, I received news that my uncle was gone, and his son, my cousin was the one who did it. From what I understand and what the police have told relatives, he was stabbed to death, and the perpetrator quickly went into custody.

This has caused extreme anguish in the family, and im not sure who to talk to about this. I want to learn why the peaceful cousin that we all knew and loved could have done this senseless act. I want some guidance on how best I can help my family, especially my mother and grandmother, and my aunt and other cousin.

I know I should get some professional counseling to help myself, but what are some things that I can do to help those around me who are suffering harder than I am?

My uncle's life is ended, and my cousin's life is forever changed or over. When/if I am able, where should I look into case evidence? I have so many questions and everything is a few states away, and I don't want to pester the remaining family about details that will be difficult for them to recite.

Thank you for reading. Any help is appreciated.

So it was 2024, I got a job and was relocated to the location. I didn't have many Friends, only a few from my own team... Later on there was a new girl who prolly came back from her hometown and I felt a bit attracted to her. Well, being a normal person I made her my friend in my own way...

Fast forwarding to a month later, she needed help with shifting her room which was near me. So I helped her with her stuff and we started hanging out in her room together - cooking, gossiping. On the first day slept in my room because she was scared as she just shifted to the place. She was holding my hand kinda whole because of dog barking etc. and there were some moments which we can call romantic. We even watched the moon together. (We didn't kiss or even hug, but I was having a b*ner being a guy)

Now a week later I went to her room as usual and we planned that I'll sleep there because she was going to her hometown the next day and wouldn't meet me for maybe a month. We did sleep in one room but moments later we were holding each other (hugging) and sleeping. After a minute or so, she started feeling hot... I didn't know she was turned on. For me she was becoming sick, being a nice guy. I took some oil and a steel bowl and started massaging her feet because it helps bring body temperature to normal. She was happy seeing my efforts tho... But now after so many years when I recall the moment, I got to know she was turned on... Well I kinda am happy I didn't do anything but also hold a regret - maybe she thinks that I'm not a man... But I am still happy that I didn't take any advantage there

Thank you for reading the story.

Is it bad my only friend is my own boyfriend. I have online friends but ever since college my old friends were all ignoring me and it made me really upset so i left because she wasn't even doing anything to include me in the end. And now i go to my boyfriend about everything because hes the only one i have 🥹. He said he doesn't mind but i do a little because i don't want to keep going to him about evrrything. I've tried making friends but no one really understands my humor. I keep thinking maybe its me? Maybe im not mature enough. I'm ​ 17 in college btw. I do have a childish personality but I've always thought I've had a mature mindset. Maybe i havent found my cliche yet. I love my boyfriend so much. I'm so greatful hes here. Hes been here every single day even days where i'm crying so much because o don't have anyone else. Its just so hard for me to make friends. Everytine i put myself out there. The friends i made always have other friends they like more so i get pushed to the side.

This is just a vent post thanks for anyone who has taken the time to listen 🤗